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Wrestlemania XXVIII

Wrestlemania XXVIII
Date: April 1, 2012
Location: Sun Life Stadium, Miami, Florida
Attendance: 78,363
Commentators: Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler
America the Beautiful: Lillian Garcia

As I wrote out that title, I almost started shaking. Today is Wrestlemania Sunday. In less than two and a half hours, the show is going to begin. This is the day that we as fans wait for all year long. Everything ends tonight and at the same time, everything begins. You all know the card by now, but for those who might forget, the main event is John Cena vs. The Rock, Once In A Lifetime (until ratings go down and we need a rematch). Let's get to it.

First up we've got a pre-show match as a bonus.

Tag Titles: Justin Gabriel/Tyson Kidd vs. Primo/Epico vs. Usos

Primo/Epico have the titles and have beaten the Usos about five times already. Kidd and Gabriel are teaming for the first time after Kidd asked Gabriel if he wanted to be a team. Gabriel said yes, and apparently that qualifies you as deserving a title match. New tights for the Usos here. Josh and Striker are doing commentary for this match. This is under WCW rules as in three in the ring at once, but in a twist you can only tag your own partner.

Jey, Tyson and Primo start things off. Primo is sent to the floor and Tyson gets two off a sunset flip. Primo comes back in with a missile dropkick as Jey gets beaten down. Kidd makes the save but gets DDTed for two. Primo loads up a superplex on Jey but Tyson springboards up to make it a Tower of Doom in a cool twist on the traditional spot there. Tags bring in Epico and Jimmy but I think Kidd is still legal for his team.

Jimmy comes out of the corner with a spinning cross body and a Bubba Bomb for two. Tag to Gabriel who jumps over Jimmy but walks into a Samoan attack. Back to Jey who hits an assisted Samoan Drop. Jimmy tags in quickly for a double Rikishi attack to Epico and Gabriel. Epico gets dropped onto Primo so Jey can hit a HUGE dive onto both of them.

Kidd pops up on the apron but Jimmy launches him to Jey for a Samoan Drop. Gabriel sets for a top rope Asai Moonsault and hits it on his second attempt. Better safe than sorry on that spot. He tries the springboard 450 but (mostly) hits knees. Backstabber by Epico pins Jey at 5:05.

Rating: B-. Really fun opener here with the six smaller guys being thrown out there to fire up the crowd. That's what cruiserweights and hot Latin women that can shake their hips were made for so you can't ask for much more than that. I'm a big Uso fan so seeing them on Wrestlemania was a cool thing to see. Very good start to the night.

Lillian opens us with America the Beautiful. She even sings the second verse.

The opening video is about how this is the beginning, which includes a set of clips of the beginning of a lot of guys' careers, including some shots of Cena in OVW. We also get some shots of the main guys' careers. It's the four in the main events only, which makes sense.

Smackdown World Title: Sheamus vs. Daniel Bryan

Makes sense. Might as well make this the most worthless world title match in company history given the build for it so far. Cole and Lawler are calling this alone. Bryan has his robe here and AJ is looking GREAT. We get the kiss to start and Brogue Kick and it's over in 8 seconds. I kid you not it was that fast.

We have 7 matches left and almost four hours to go. Each match could conceivably get 20 minutes each.

Miz fires up Team Johnny in the back. They don't seem to care until Otunga comes in to introduce Johnny in a white suit. He says this is going to be a night in the ranks of Hogan slamming Andre and Austin refusing to submit to Bret.

Win a trip to Wrestlemania 29.

Kane vs. Randy Orton

This is over Kane shaking Randy's hand last year and hating himself for it. I can't imagine this feud isn't going to continue after this. Seeing Kane in daylight in the welder's mask makes him look pretty ridiculous. Kane takes him into the corner to start as I think the fans are chanting for Orton. Well it's longer than the previous match at least. Orton escapes a chokeslam and stomps on the foot/ankle.

Elevated DDT (called a bulldog by that idiot Cole) is countered and Kane drapes him over the top rope for a big boot. This is Kane's 14th Mania which has to be up there on the all time list. Kane takes him down and it's off to a chinlock. Orton fights up with punches but runs into the uppercut for two. Side slam gets two. Kane again stops Orton's comeback and hits a vertical suplex for two.

A headbutt slows Kane down and Orton spins out of another side slam via a backflip. Orton's backbreaker puts Kane down but his clotheslines don't do much. There's the powerslam and Kane's shoulder goes into the post. Kane comes back and goes up but his clothesline is countered by a dropkick in a cool spot. Orton loads up the Punt but runs into the chokeslam for two. Kane is frustrated so he does an Undertaker situp.

He pounds Orton down in the corner but Randy comes back with a right of his own. RKO is countered but Orton kicks the knee out again. Randy charges into an elbow and Kane goes up but there's Orton again. Orton pounds him down on the ropes and goes up with him. He loads up something but Kane grabs him by the throat and gets the pin with a super chokeslam at 10:55.

Rating: B-. This was my upset pick and I wasn't disappointed. That ending was pretty cool too as it looked great. Orton usually brings it at Wrestlemania and this was no exception as he got a decent match out of Kane. I'm likely overrating it but this is a match I've wanted to see for years.

Santino is with a captain from the show Deadliest Catch. They're having I think king crabs and Mick Foley is with them. He puts on a yellow hat and talks like a pirate but the captain tells him no one talks like that. There are Socko and The Cobra and they attack the crabs. Ron Simmons comes in and you know the rest.

The National Guard is awesome.

Intercontinental Title: Big Show vs. Cody Rhodes

The idea here is that Big Show can't win at Wrestlemania and Cody has made fun of him for it. Cody immediately bails to the floor and Show goes after him. Cody has red trunks tonight. He dives onto Show on the floor and is tossed back in via a SCARY show of strength. Show destroys Cody with chops and gives him a Stink Face. Cody goes after the knee to get Big Show down which is smart.

Show is down on the mat now as Cody shouts about how this is his moment. He hooks a standing leg lock and Show is in some trouble. He starts to get up but Cody drapes the arm across the top rope to slow him down. Disaster Kick (I guess it's no longer Beautiful) staggers Show but a second attempt results in a spear. WMD gives Show the title at 5:23.

Rating: D+. I wasn't wild on this but it's a good way to get the title off Rhodes. That being said, I don't buy the whole “Show gets his moment” deal at all. He was in the main event before, so how exactly is winning the IC Title in about 5 minutes a bigger deal? Doesn't work for me at all, but this should be enough for Cody to move up the ladder.

Show cries post match and kisses I'm assuming his wife.

Video on what it means to be a Diva. This would be better used with the sound off.

Maria Menounos/Kelly Kelly vs. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres

This is a REALLY risky move as the other four matches are Punk vs. Jericho, the Cell, the main event and the Battle of the GM's. That's a stacked final four matches and I'd be worried about them overcrowding the second half of the show. We get the video of the evil ones invading Extra. Maria arguing back at them is still horribly bad. She has a legit case of bad ribs due to Dancing With The Stars, plus stress fractures in her feet.

The sun has gone down now and the stadium looks awesome. Eve and Kelly start things off. Kelly charges into a boot in the corner but the moonsault results in her getting crotched. Here's Maria and it's a double Stink Face. Beth kicks her in the bad ribs and Eve goes with a bodyscissors. Maria fires off some decent elbows as the fans chant for her to tap. Beth comes in with a modified bearhug but Maria fights out and tags Kelly.

The annoying screaming blonde does her usual stuff but adds a Molly Go Round for two as Eve saves. Glam Slam is countered into a bulldog and there's the tag to Maria. She....goes up and this isn't going to end well. Beth drills her and sets for a gorilla press, but Kelly gets her down and shoves Beth into Eve so Maria can get the rollup pin at 6:54.

Rating: C+. You know, given the amount of injuries to Maria, this was really impressive. That girl legit tries out there every time and you can't ask for more than anything than that. Decent match and the Kelly flip dive wasn't bad. When Kelly is the worst worker in a match that involves a celebrity, you know there's a problem.

Shawn says this match is the end of an era. If HHH loses, it's the end of the Game. Shawn thinks it's ironic that he can end an era.

New attendance record: 78,363.

JR is here to call the rest of the show. Is that a beard on him?

The Undertaker vs. HHH

Well this is quite the first hour main event. It's 8:03 and we've got four matches left, which means this and Rock vs. Cena are going to need to be about 35 minutes each. They can do it but that would be a lot. This is billed as The End of an Era, but I don't know what HHH is exactly putting up. If he loses, it's the same thing as last year. This is inside Hell in a Cell and Shawn Michaels is guest referee.

No buildup package so I'll help you out here. Taker beat HHH last year but had to be carried out, so he asked for a rematch. HHH didn't want to do it so Taker played the “Shawn is better than you” card to get him to say yes. The rest of it was a lot of ego stroking and here we are. HHH's big entrance this year is him coming out of something that looks like Vader's old helmet with spikes on it.

Shawn's shirt isn't tucked in. It's Wrestlemania and he's that sloppy? I think we need a new icon. Taker's robe looks like it has muscles painted onto it. Or does it look Japanese? These entrances still give me chills, even if he's bald under there. We get lightning, thunder and smoke as always. His head isn't completely bald but it's close enough. It's almost a mowhawk with hair on the side of it if that makes sense. That look kind of works on him actually.

The Cell is lowered to Memory Remains by Metallica. Slugout to start and JR calls Taker's punches carcinogenic. HHH comes back so Taker throws him into the corner. The haircut is attributed to HHH not giving him a rematch immediately. Ok then. Out to the floor and Taker goes into the Cell. Now HHH goes into it and is backdropped. This appears to be the taller model with the very little space between the cage and the ring.

Taker pounds on him and chokes on the floor. Shawn tries to break up the choking but Taker knocks him away. Into the cage again as Taker has controlled so far. HHH goes into the steps and we go back inside. The Facebuster is no sold and Taker clotheslines him down. Old School connects and HHH is down. Back to the floor and Taker rams the steps into the Game's face.

The steps are placed in the ring and Taker this the legdrop (loathsome according to JR) on the apron. Back in HHH grabs a DDT from out of nowhere to put both guys down. HHH rams Taker's head into the steps three times and tries a Pedigree on the steps which is countered into a backdrop. Taker charges into a spinebuster onto the steps but he manages to grab the Hell's Gate which won the match last year. In a REALLY impressive counter, HHH picks him up into a powerbomb for two.

We're ten minutes into this and it feels like we're only in the beginning. Here are two chairs from HHH and one goes into Taker's ribs and back. The steps are set up in the corner and Taker gets whipped into them. HHH throws them out of the ring and there's another chair to the back of Undertaker. The Game goes Stone Cold with the chair and Shawn tries to stop him but can't.

Shawn finally throws the chair out and HHH says if Shawn wants it to end, then end it. HHH grabs the other chair and shoves Shawn down to beat on Taker some more. That must be about 20 shots with it so far. Taker specifically says not to stop it when Shawn asks. Taker gets up and a shot to the ribs and back puts him right back down, getting two. HHH heads to the floor and there's the sledgehammer.

HHH says he doesn't care as he's basically turning heel mid match. He keeps telling Shawn to end it but Taker keeps saying no when Shawn asks to end it. Sledgehammer to the face gets two. There appears to be some blood over HHH's eye and oh yes there is. It's not bad but it's certainly there. HHH sets for a BIG shot to Taker's prone head but Shawn stops it and throws the hammer to the floor.

HHH keeps shouting at Shawn to end it because Taker is done. Shawn pulls his finger up to end it but can't do it. He looks at Taker and thinks about doing it again but still can't do it. Now he looks at Taker again...and Taker puts Shawn in the Hell's Gate! HHH hits Taker in the head with the hammer but Shawn is down now. HHH sets for a big hammer shot but Taker kicks him low and puts the Hell's Gate on again.

There's no Shawn and HHH drops the hammer. HHH tries the powerbomb counter but can't do it. He grabs the hammer again but passes out. No wait he's back up. Taker's face is a meme in waiting. Shawn is still down and Taker has to let the hold go due to exhaustion. Both guys are out. Here's Charles Robinson who unlocks the cage to a ton of booing. Chokeslam to HHH gets two. Robinson gets a chokeslam for the count. Eh you knew it was going to be Shawn to count the fall so that's no shock.

The fans think this is awesome and they would be correct. Shawn kicks Taker into the Pedigree but it gets a VERY close two. I really thought that was it. That didn't happen at all last year which makes this even better than last year. Shawn is distraught that he almost counted the fall after interfering. HHH has the hammer again and he throws Shawn to the floor. The Game goes after Taker with the hammer but Taker sits up, making HHH fall down in fear.

Here's the Big Dead Comeback with all of his old favorites. Snake Eyes into the big boot is followed by a legdrop. Tombstone plants HHH but only gets two. Not even a close two either. Shawn looks like he's about to cry in the corner. They slug it out from their knees to their feet and HHH Pedigrees him out of nowhere for two. It wasn't a great one so it's a bit more believable. Taker sits up again and grabs a chair. HHH has the hammer but Taker steps on it. Now HHH takes the beating with the chair and the chair is bent. All of the shots only get two though.

Shawn yells at both of them to let it end already. HHH tries to grab Shawn to pull himself up and gets the hammer. Taker can't follow up and HHH is in agony. He tries a hammer shot but Taker blocks it due to HHH's exhaustion. Now Taker has the hammer and HHH shoves him away. There's a crotch chop so Taker hits him in the face with the hammer. Shawn turns his back on the match and the hammer is thrown to the floor. There go the straps and the throat slit sets up the tombstone for the pin at 30:53.

Rating: A+. I liked this a lot better than last year's. Of the four matches these three have combined for, I'd put this at second best after HBK vs. Taker I, which is pretty high praise. Great match with some great drama and there were actual moments here where I thought the Streak was over, namely the DX Special finisher. Shawn added something here, but I don't think it was as epic as they were shooting for. The Cell wasn't a huge factor but it did add something to it as far as a visual goes. Great match and I loved it.

Shawn pulls Taker to his feet post match. Both of them help HHH to the back in a cool visual.

Hall of Fame video. It's cool to see Flair up there.

Here are the Hall of Fame inductees. The Fink does the intros which is good. That man belongs at Wrestlemania. Tyson does a crotch chop of course. Edge is on the stage and gets his theme music played. No one says anything but it's cool to see Flair there. Note that I said there and not in the ring.

Win a trip to Wrestlemania 29!

Josh is about to talk to Flo Rida when Heath freaking Slater says interview him instead. Flo Rida comes out and Slater asks about a duet. That gets a no so Slater wants to be a DJ or backup dancer. Those both get a no. Flo Rida says Slater can hold his mic. Slater gets in his face and Flo Rida shoves him into a wall. Hawkins and Reks come in to laugh at Slater. Ok then.

Team Johnny vs. Team Teddy

Johnny: The Miz, Mark Henry, Drew McIntyre, Jack Swagger, Dolph Ziggler, David Otunga (captain)
Teddy: Kofi Kingston, R-Truth, Booker T, Great Khali, Zack Ryder, Santino Marella (captain)

Otunga has his coffee cup with him too which is awesome. Vickie and Horny are flagbearers. The winning GM controls both shows. Eve is with Ryder. Aksana looks good in the Teddy shirt. Dolph and Kofi start things off and Dolph takes over. Kofi comes back with a top rope cross body for two and here's Truth. Spinning legdrop gets two but Ziggler dropkicks him down.

Off to Drew who gets caught by the Lie Detector. Khali comes in and chops a bit before Booker gets the tag. Side slam gets two. JR is gone now. Otunga gets in a shot to Booker and Drew's big boot allows him to tag Swagger. Why is swagger in aquamarine? He's an ALL AMERICAN AMERICAN. Swagger takes him down and it's time for Henry. He does absolutely nothing so it's time for Miz.

Running knee lift gets two and it's off to a chinlock. Back to Ziggy for a knee drop and then back to Miz. Booker finally gets some breathing room but Henry comes in for the World's Strongest Slam. Khali chops Henry down and everything breaks down. Kofi/Truth hit double dropkicks to send the heels to the floor. For some reason they throw Horny onto Henry and then along with Ryder hit stereo dives to the floor. Aksana spears Vickie as the match is a mess.

Booker and Miz are down in the ring at the moment but there's the tag to Santino. Santino does his usual stuff and the saluting headbutt from the top. Cobra is loaded up but he stops to go after Johnny. Cobra to Miz gets two as Dolph makes a VERY close save. Tag to Ryder who monkey flips Dolph and a neckbreaker takes down Miz. He loads up the Rough Ryder but Miz throws him onto Ziggler. He loads up the Broski Boot but Eve comes in for no apparent reason. The distraction lets Miz hit the Finale on Ryder for the pin at 10:42.

Rating: C. Was Otunga ever in the match? This was pretty much exactly what was expected with Eve screwing over the team “by mistake” and Johnny's team winning. I don't think anyone ever thought Team Teddy had a chance and even further ends the Brand Split, which is more or less dead already. No issues here for the most part.

Eve kicks Ryder in the balls post match and walks off with her hand on her hip.

Extreme Rules is in four weeks.

Alex Rodriguez and Torrie Wilson are here.

Video on what WWE has done for Miami.

Ace brags to Punk a bit about the win. If Punk gets disqualified, he loses the title. That sounds like the perfect setup for a rematch where Punk can't get disqualified at Extreme Rules.

Raw World Title: Chris Jericho vs. CM Punk

If Punk, the champion, gets DQ'ed, he loses the title. We get a quick video recapping Punk's rise up the roster and Jericho saying that Punk has addiction in his blood. They go to the mat quickly and Punk stomps away on him in the corner. Jericho slaps him as he's trying to get disqualified. Punk stomps to four and then stops each time which is a nice touch. Jericho slaps him two more times and then hides. Punk dropkicks him in the corner and pounds on him to four again.

Jericho shouts about Punk's father, earning him more elbows to the head. Punk loads up the Macho Elbow but Jericho rolls to the floor. Punk is cool with that and hits a top rope clothesline for two. Jericho asks about Punk's sister which draws a chair from Punk but he won't swing. A line about Punk's sister being a drug addict doesn't do it so Punk kicks him in the ribs instead. Punk throws the chair away and walks into a bottom rope dropkick (yes a bottom rope dropkick) to take the champion down.

Back elbow puts Punk on the outside. They go to the apron and Punk tries a GTS but the Canadian escapes and clotheslines Punk back in. Jericho suplexes him to the floor and it almost looked like a Jackhammer. Back inside that gets two. Butterfly backbreaker gets the same. Jericho is working on the back to set up the Walls. Off to a chinlock and then a kick to the back. Surfboard submission goes on so Punk jumps up into a dropkick to the gut in a nice counter.

Punk counters the bulldog by sending Jericho into the corner crotch first. CM makes his comeback with kicks and chops, plus a neckbreaker for two. Punk hits the knee in the corner but the bulldog is countered. Lionsault gets knees but Jericho counters into the Walls but that gets countered. Sweet sequence. High kick gets two and Chris is down. The Macho Elbow looks awkward as it looked like it hit but I think Jericho put his knees up, which doesn't do much good for an elbow. That looked weird.

Codebreaker hits but Punk rolls out. Jericho throws him back in but walks into the GTS. Punk can't cover immediately though and Jericho gets his foot on the rope. Another high kick misses but a powerslam gets two. We get a series of standing switches resulting in Jericho draping him over the top and hitting the Lionsault for two. Chris goes up and Punk tries a rana, but Jericho counters into the Walls in a sweet counter that I've seen him use before. Punk of course gets the rope but getting there was cool.

Jericho charges at him but Punk backdrops him to the floor. Punk is holding his back and Jericho stands in perfect position for the suicide dive from Punk. The fans are a little dead for some reason. I don't get why as this has been a good match. In a SICK spot, Punk hits the running knee to the head of Jericho while it's against the post.

Punk tries the springboard clothesline but jumps into the Codebreaker for two. That would have been back to back losses at Mania due to the springboard for Punk. Two GTS's are countered and Jericho is getting frustrated. He goes up but Punk kicks him in the back. GTS is countered AGAIN, this time into the Liontamer and then the Walls. Punk crawls for the rope but Jericho drags him back into the middle.

The champ crawls through the legs into a small package and they reverse it a few times but Punk counters into the Vice which Jericho counters into a rollup for two but he can't break the hold. Now Jericho knees him in the back of the head and FINALLY breaks the hold, countering into a Walls attempt. Punk counters THAT into the Vice and this time he leans his head forward so Jericho can't knee him. Jericho is forced to tap at 22:23.

Rating: A. ANOTHER awesome match here. That finishing sequence was absolutely awesome with some SICK counters. I'm not sure if I'd call it a masterpiece or anything, but these two nailed it and it looked like Punk outsmarted Jericho using psychology he gained throughout the match, which is great stuff. Loved this and it's another great match on a GREAT show so far.

Mania 29 will be in New Jersey.

FUNKASAURUS!!! AND HE'S TALKING!!! I don't think most people care about him. He asks people to pull out their phones because they're going to call their mamas. Brodus calls his mama and says he wishes she was there. His mama is here with the bridge club apparently. She was in the back....and he didn't know it? She's a woman with really weird hair and what has to be......oh my goodness the bridge club is all here to dance with her. There must be 20 old women out there dancing. I think I need a minute.

Go see G.I. Joe 2.

Clips of the Once in a Lifetime special to hype up the main event. If you don't get the story here, go look it up.

Diddy introduces some rapper to sing one of the theme songs. The rapper defines an underdog who apparently is Cena in this. Uh....not quite but ok.

John Cena vs. The Rock

Writing that gave me a chill. Cena is booed but it's not horrible. We get his traditional shot from the back as he runs to the ring. There's a new green shirt too. Ok now he's getting booed. There's nothing really special to Cena's entrance this year. Once Cena is in the ring Flo Rida does the other theme song to the show with a full set of backup dancers. Now some chick comes out to sing another song with him. Could the timing on this be worse?

Rock's entrance really could have done without the dance troupe behind him and it made things look a bit less epic than they were going for. He looked like he was going in for a big fight though and that's the important thing. We get a shot from above the stadium and it looks AWESOME. We get big match intros. This is really happening. Oh THERE are the boos for Cena. There are some cheers and it's nowhere near MITB but it's up there. Big pop for Rock as expected.

The bell rings at 10:24:42 after about a minute of staring. My heart is beating out of my chest as I can't believe it's finally here. They lock up and Cena shoves him off. He looks like he lost five pounds of air with the exhale after that. The dueling chants begin and it's certainly not a one sided crowd. Rock shoves Cena off. That's so Hogan (in a good way). They lock up again and Rock grabs a headlock.

They fight over a wristlock and Rock does Owen's counter into a pair of armdrags and La Majistral for two. He did that at Survivor Series and Cena still looks stunned. Cena whips him in and gets perhaps the highest leapfrog I've ever seen into a headlock takeover. No one has an advantage of note after about four minutes. Rock lowers his head for Cena to kick him and Rock pops him with a right.

Cena charges and Rock tries a Sharpshooter, but John rolls to the floor. Rock catches Cena coming in but Cena sends him into the corner and hits some shoulders. Clothesline gets one and Rock gets to the rope. You know it occurs to me: Cena has an experience advantage here and a big one at that. He's been in WWE going on ten years, whereas Rock was around less than seven in total, and that's stretching A LOT.

Rock fires off some punches but misses a charge to send him to the floor. They're starting slow but we have almost half an hour for the slow build. Rock gets dropped on the barricade and they go to the floor. Cena drops the ribs into the announce table and sits in the ring. Back in the ring and Cena is in control. Belly to belly gets two as he keeps working on the ribs. Now a bearhug which is a smart move. Cena's power is often forgotten until the end of the match so this makes sense.

Rock fights out of it with punches and a DDT, but Cena fights back. Now Rock comes back with punches and the jumping clothesline. Spinebuster looks to set up the elbow but Cena picks the leg for an STF attempt. That gets countered so Cena comes back with the shoulders and ProtoBomb. The Shuffle hits but the AA is countered and they clothesline (kind of) each other.

They slug it out and Rock takes over with faster punches. He tries to do You Can't See Me but Cena grabs the AA for two. NOW this is getting good, almost fifteen minutes into it. That's not a bad thing mind you as it's about what happens in every main event match. Cena might have a cut next to his nose but it's not bad. Cena goes after Rock and gets caught in the Rock Bottom for two. Rock hammers him in the corner but walks into a side slam for two.

Cena goes up and takes forever, but manages to hit the top rope Fameasser for two. Out of nowhere Rock grabs the Sharpshooter and somehow it's gotten even worse. We're over twenty minutes into this and Rock is getting frustrated. Sharpshooter goes on again and he's just pulling on the feet instead of wrapping his arm around them. They go to the floor as we're over 20 minutes into this.

Cena goes into the steps and Rock is in full control so far. John goes into the steps again but as they come back in he sunset flips Rock (that boy can JUMP) but instead of covering he hooks the STF. The leg is bent in a freaky way. Rock almost gets the rope so Cena lets go and pulls back to the middle of the ring. Rock is starting to fade and he's not very close to the rope. The referee takes forever to check the arm and it drops once. It drops twice, but on the third try Rock continues to channel Hogan (again awesome) to raise the arm. He FINALLY makes the rope and we're not done yet.

We're 24 minutes into this so it's got to be running short on time. It's 10:49 now so it can't break forty minutes. Cena is tired but he walks into a Samoan Drop to put both guys down. They slug it out and both finishers are countered. Spinebuster puts Cena down and there goes the elbow pad. The People's Elbow hits for two. Cena grabs a small package (easy big fella) for two. John grabs a slingshot to send Rock into the buckle and a rollup gets two.

Cena drives him to the corner and puts Rock up on the second rope. He looks like he's setting for a superplex but Rock shoves him off. Rock looks very tired and I can't blame him. It's his first singles match in about 9 years and he's going half an hour. Rock goes up top (huh?) and tries a cross body but Cena rolls throug and flips him onto his shoulders for the AA for TWO. I thought that might have been it. It's 10:54 and they've gone thirty minutes now. John looks at his hand, takes off the wristband, and sets for the People's Elbow but walks into the Rock Bottom for the pin at 30:40. WOW.

Rating: B+. I have no idea what the point of that is, but they did it. The match was never going to be able to live up to the hype and I don't think it was going to ever be able to do so. I really don't agree with the ending as there's no incentive for a rematch now, Cena looks like he can't beat a guy that's been retired almost longer than he was active, and it does nothing for the guys sticking around. I don't get it at all. Good match, close to great, not a masterpiece.

Rock poses to end the show.

Overall Rating: A+. This was an incredible show and one of the best Wrestlemanias I've ever seen. I was really worried about the pacing of the show for awhile but they pulled it off really well and it never dragged. There were multiple classics and that's exactly what Wrestlemania is supposed to be. When the worst match is probably the Divas, that's definitely a good sign.

As for the main event, it was indeed very good but I didn't like the ending. Granted that's two minutes after it so maybe that'll change. I don't hate it, but I don't like it that well at the moment. Still though, it's a very good match to end an amazing show and we'll have to see where things go from here. Absolutely worth seeing though.

Results
Sheamus b. Daniel Bryan – Brogue Kick
Kane b. Randy Orton – Middle Rope Chokeslam
Big Show b. Cody Rhodes – WMD
Maria Menounous/Kelly Kelly b. Beth Phoenix/Eve Torres – Rollup to Beth
Undertaker b. HHH – Tombstone
Team Johnny b. Team Teddy – Skull Crushing Finale to Ryder
CM Punk b. Chris Jericho – Anaconda Vice
The Rock b. John Cena - Rock Bottom

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Comments

  1. Worst shitball show ever. Outside of HHH vs. Undertaker not a single redeeming moment. They so completely and thoroughly upstaged the rest of the show. Hey Rock, you were out of shape and didn't give a shit and that match was terrible. Go to hell and never fucking come back. I'd rather see people who care about wrestling.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Not sure if it's an A but I agree that this was a good show.  The top matches all delivered, though the pace seemed to be plodding - I guess that's what you get when you have 40+ year old guys in all the mains.  Still, in terms of drama this was a great show.  Everyone's gonna crap on the opener, but that didn't even bother me.

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  3. I didn't get to see it but from what I read, it sounded like a terrible show. Feel free to correct me, but killing Bryan in 10 seconds is fucking retarded. Rock winning clean is also stupid. From what I heard, Rock/Cena was terrible.

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  4. Wow, I don't even know what to say about such a stupid comment.  The Rock is the only reason half of the paying PPV customers ordered this show.   

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  5. Good but not blowaway Wrestlemania.
    HHH/Taker did the greatest false finishes I've ever seen, there were moment where I thought the streak was going to end legit which I didn't think was possible with my cynical mindset!
    Rock/Cena was fun, but it didn't quite capture the Rock/Hogan vibe for me... interesting to see what they do with Cena post Mania. 
    Punk/Jericho got better as it went along but the crowd was dead and that took a lot away from it. 
    The rest of the card was forgettable. 
    7/10 overall for WM IMO.

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  6. It's still real to me dammit....!

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  7. This was a very good Wrestlemania to watch.  Having said that, nothing happened that will really do much for the near and long-term future of the WWE.  The best match was probably Undertaker's (and maybe HHH's) swan song, and Rock winning clean definitely hurts Cena's credibility.  But the bottom line is that while Cena will be a Top-10 "all-time" superstar, The Rock is probably a Top 5 so it makes sense to appease your casual fans who are only paying to see The Great One.  

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  8.  The first hour was terrible.  The rest overall was good.  But definitely not a BLOW AWAY show as described above. 

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  9. i agree about rock/hogan.  i watched that match again today, and literally get goosebumps when hogan hulks up and drops the leg.  maybe it's because i'm a child of 80s who grew up with hulk hogan, and i personally just don't consider john cena on the same level as guys like austin, the rock, hogan etc. 

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  10. Except his match was awful and it had not even half the heat of HHH and Undertaker's that had a real story and real wrestling? Rock was good in 2003, he's not now. This happens in wrestling.


    It's stupid? Wait until the buyrate comes back for this show. It'll be lower than WM27, just as Rock didn't affect Survivor Series, he won't affect this. Wrestling Rock=Not A Draw.

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  11. Yeah, at least that guy had good fucking taste. If you like Rock vs. Cena you're a goddamn retard downy and you are every reason why wrestling is terrible now.

    Might I add, The Rock is a goddamn idiot, his movies lose money, and he can suck my balls.

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  12. I got home late, got a stream and saw Rock give Cena a Rock Bottom for the win. Looked like the weakest shit ever. I'll torrent it tomorrow, but from what I heard, it sounded terrible. I still can't believe they killed Bryan that bad.

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  13. Well, Wrestlemania 26 with the epic HBK/Undertaker retirement match did 885K buys, and WM 27 with the Rock as the freaking "guest host" pulled over a million buys so I'm going to have to say that you don't have any idea what you're talking about.

    For the record, Survivor Series 2011 PPV buys was up at least 60K over 2010.  Reinforcing the fact that you have no idea what you're talking about.  

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  14. This wasnt one of the best Wrestlemania's ever.  It was good but the Kane/Orton match wasnt even worth a ** rating if you ask me. The Bryan/Sheamus match was a pathetic waste of time and the first hour was unmemorable. It had the three big matches and the 12-man tag was solid too. A few memorable matches but it did very little for the company going forward. I dont see how they build momentum off of this show

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  15. I was bummed about no Brock, and I don't think that Bryan's title reign was really so Honky Tonk esque that they needed to do the squash to end it. But other than that, it wasn't a bad Mania

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  16. Oh, they paid The Rock hundreds of thousands of dollars to do better than a show headlined by Wade Barrett vs. Randy Orton by 60k buys? You know what, I'm wrong. He's the biggest draw ever in wrestling.

    Why don't we bring back Austin, he actually might care about his match. The Rock has a movie that does 50 million less gross than the budget to make somewhere I'm sure. 

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  17. I enjoyed Rock/Cena I guess I'm a 'goddamn retard downy'. :)

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  18. Here's a slight annoyance with the HHH/Undertaker match. HHH beats the shit out of him so badly, Undertaker is out for a year and comes back for revenge. This leads to them meeting in the most dangerous match there is. The ref is a guy who had his career ended by Undertaker. During the match, Undertaker chokes out Michaels, Michaels kicks him in the face, and Undertaker and HHH beat the fuck out of one another with chairs and sledgehammers until in the end HHH is left for dead. After all of that, everyone makes up and leave carrying one another. I get that they guys are the last of an "era" and in real life ending their careers together in probably emotional but it really kills the storyline when guys who want to kill one another are immediately cool after the match. That's really just a minor complain, it was my favorite match of the night and by far the one I was most emotionally invested in.  

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  19. His last movie made over $300 million at the box office on a budget of just over $70 million. Just saying..

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  20. Anyone else notice the shit and/or period blood stain in Maria Menounounous's pants?

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  21. I need to rematch but the Sheamus-Bryan match left a bad taste in my mouth. I honestly can't see the purpose of jobbing Bryan out like that. I was fine with them opening the show, and fine with Bryan losing but the fact that they gave Orton-Kane and the fucking concerts the time they should have given Bryan-Sheamus leaves a bit of a bad taste in my mouth. That said, other than Rock-Cena audibly calling spots in some places I thought it was a pretty great show otherwise. 

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  22. I don't know about you but I thought Jericho vs. Punk was a really good match.

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  23. I cant fuckin believe they put rock over. Makes ZERO sense. (unless heal turn tm)

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  24.  I dunno about all of what you read. I think from a mark standpoint it was one of the top 5 manias ever, World Title Match aside. Just trying to enjoy it for what it was, I really liked the 3 big matches and would put Punk/Jericho and Rock/Cena both at about **** . Hell in a Cell being better than their match last year, Id put it just short of perfect at ****3/4. But lots of people on here can be too critical and find a reason to hate anything, this was a hugely hyped show after all.

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  25. Go look up The Rundown, Southland Tales, The Tooth Fairy, Be Cool, Faster, Planet 51, Doom, and Walking Tall. Unless he's in a Disney movie (The Game Plan) or a sequel to a movie he wasn't actually in the original franchise of (Fast Five, Journey 2) he is totally rejected by the main stream. He is a bomb at the movies and his movies have lost TONS of money.

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  26.  Me too. It felt old school, with a slow build. Hard hitting throughout. The type of match where every shot really feels like it MEANS something. And building to a great finish with smooth transitions as opposed to finisher - rest - finisher, which has become something of a crutch

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  27. Mainly because he can't act, he's wooden and he's bad..and he's arrogant so he makes very little effort, as he did tonight. I could have a better match drunk goofing with my friends. How many simple transition spots can you botch in 30 minutes anyway?

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  28. I hate this review. I loathe everything about it, if I'm honest.

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  29. Christopher HirschApril 1, 2012 at 10:02 PM

    The purpose was he was a heel and heels tend to get their comeuppance at WrestleMania. It will add intrigue to him and AJ because Bryan will likely blame her for the loss. I was stunned at the finish and felt a little jipped but 3 great matches later don't care anymore.

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  30. I think it's pretty hilarious that people are getting so worked up over a TV show. This thing really brought out the marks. 

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  31. Christopher HirschApril 1, 2012 at 10:02 PM

    Hahah yes, I thought she had pooed herself

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  32. Christopher HirschApril 1, 2012 at 10:02 PM

    Also, I could have swore the crowd was chanting skid mark.

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  33. It was slow and dull, felt like they were working at a cross purposes and none of the spots had any heat. I'd give it about ** for Punk taking the real Lion Tamer at one point. This Jericho run has been a waste.

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  34. Christopher HirschApril 1, 2012 at 10:04 PM

    Are you 10?

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  35. Some quick thoughts:

    1) I thought the Bryan/Sheamus thing was not necessarily a burial, but just a quick swerve to try to shock the crowd.  Seems shitty but they may actually build on this, with Bryan completely blaming AJ for what happened.

    2) Just when I thought I couldn't love Maria Menounos any more than I already do, she sells the ribs better than half the roster.

    3) Not sure what the point of the Cell was, seeing as they barely used it and stayed in the ring after the first 5 minutes.  I think they quickly realized the Cell was too small after the 2 cameramen kept getting in the way.

    4) There is ZERO excuse for a chinlock in a match with 12 fucking people in it.  Way too much going on, with 12 wrestlers and 8 (yes, 8) people on the outside.  I had to change from 6 to 7 to 8 as I typed because I kept remembering more and more people who were outside the ring.

    5) It's stuff like Brodus Clay and the Bridge Club that makes me embarrassed to tell people I'm a wrestling fan.  No reason for this to be on PPV, but I'm sure Vince thought it was the greatest thing of all time.

    6) Something seemed off about the beginning of the Rock/Cena match.  One of the armdrags looked really awkward, and right after it they went into a rest hold with Rock and Cena having a visible and lengthy conversation.  Everything for the next 5 minutes then moved at half speed.  Wonder if Rock was shaken up?
    Overall, decent show but way too much lying around dragged down the show.  Seemed like every match was hit a move, lie around, hit a move, lie around even longer, etc.  

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  36. I think I'm finally done watching mainstream wrestling. After hearing what they did to Bryan and Sheamus, I feel so bad for them. Seems so fucked up.

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  37. Yeah, isn't Scott going to review this?

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  38. I'd say throwing a temper tantrum like a five-year-old over wrestling qualifies you as a "goddamn retard downy."

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  39. The emotion following Taker-HHH was powerful. They had a great moment. But the match for me was somewhat of a cheat. It felt like the difference between having a match that tells a story and telling a story that happens to have a match in it. The drama didn't feel earned, somehow. It all seemed very self-congratulatory. Credit to them for going out there and busting their asses, but I kind of hope this WAS the end of the era.

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  40. I think anybody who chants along with "We will Rock you" is 10.

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  41. I think she had make-up smeared on her. 

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  42. A temper tantrum? I'm just telling you idiots it sucked. I really got over fake wrestling many years ago but they keep tempting me back for Rumble to Mania season and slapping me on the wrist for caring. You guys are retarded for liking pretty much anything they've done since 2001. Wrestling is over. WWE killed it. Get over it.

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  43. And anyone who throws a temper tantrum over wrestling is...7? 

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  44. Yeah, the whole match was just rest-rest. I've had naps that were more action packed.

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  45. Christopher HirschApril 1, 2012 at 10:08 PM

    Really enjoyed the show, far better than last year. Order of what I enjoyed would go:

    1. Taker vs. HHH, match of the night by far. Just absolutely awesome and they sucked me into Taker losing just like last year.

    2. Punk vs. Jericho. Really enjoyed it, and thought it told a good story, hope the feud continues.

    3. Rock vs. Cena, another good match, surprised Rock went over. Think the rumors of a rematch or rematches is true based on the finish.

    4. Kane vs. Orton, I enjoyed this and it far exceeded my expecations, like the surprise ending of Kane winning.

    5. 12 man tag, had some good spots and Ryder looked like an idiot which I always enjoy.

    Sheamus/Bryan stunned me but thinking about it, because of Bryan's boasting and finding ways to weasal out of things the finish made sense. Would have been nice to see a real match but I get the finish. Hope they keep Bryan in the main event, he has become one of my favorites.

    Cody/Show was just kind of there, that was the match I was expecting an 18 second type of finish. I think Cody is going to get moved up to main events now.

    Divas match, Kelly Kelly had a nice move and Maria had a skid mark, that was about it.

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  46. I think it was from the stink face on eve.

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  47. I don't know... They didn't really hate each other, to know. In terms of the storyline, they both just wanted to win, and Michaels doesnt really seem to "hate" the Undertaker for ending his career. Yeah, they were brutal to each other, but it was in the name of winning for the sake of the win, not Undertaker throwing Mnkind off the cell cause he wants to kill him.

    It would have been worse I Rock and Cena shook hands afterwards, and I'm glad they didn't. That would have been bullshit.

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  48. Thanks. Appreciate it. 

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  49. My prediction for Scott's review: like the Royal Rumble, I'm guessing he probably saw it in a crowded theater with a loud, boisterous audience and that his initial rating for both Taker-HHH and the main event will be five stars.

    While the Bryan squash left me in a pretty bad mood for the first hour of the show, my mood picked up big time during Taker-HHH and enjoyed the last three hours a lot. The enthusiastic audience I saw it with helped a lot and were actually yelling dueling "Rocky! Cena!" chants at the screen at one point.

    That said, I'm REALLY sick of mini-rock concerts eating up PPV time at WM and taking away time that could be used to allow deserving guys to have longer matches.

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  50. Your why Vince hated the Interweb.

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  51. I will only be able to form a concrete opinion of this show once SK posts his report. I just can't trust my instincts if this was a Good or bad show :D

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  52. Terrible? HHH/Taker was great, Rock/Cena was good (and felt epic), and Jericho/Punk was somewhere in the middle. Those were the 3 matches the show was sold on and they all delivered. The only part of the show that disappointed me was the Bryan/Sheamus thing.

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  53. It's funny how you just changed the same thing that was already said and owned. You're trying to justify the $65 you just wasted. Vince McMahon should be crucified for selling this retardation to people. Wrestling is a shit business ran by drug addicted creeps, but hey, it was our childhood right? So we should never get over it? And never admit that guys who used to be cool suck now. Things that were once good never get shitty, right? Let's go buy the new Van Halen record, they're just as good as they were in 1981, right?

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  54. Good to see an Irishman winning the belt, even if it was in a horseshit match.

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  55. Yep, add me to the list of 'goddamn retard downies'. I thought the match was good, helped a lot by an epic atmosphere, but still a good match. It wasn't supposed to be about the workrate, that's what Jericho/Punk and (sigh) Bryan/Sheamus were there for.

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  56. My opinion is hilarious? Feel free to call me out, I didn't watch WM, just going on what I read. Giving them 10 seconds is bullshit.

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  57. Epic atmosphere? The crowd went to beat the traffic after Hell in a Cell.

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  58. Does anyone else think that Micahel Cole mentioned Jimmy Snuka during the Undertaker match to give Scott an opening for his Tamina joke?

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  59. It's not sellingif her ribs are really cracked, and her ribs are really cracked.

    Having said that, TONS of respect for her going out there and wrestling the way she did. That was nuts. I thought shed just do the finish, but she was in for like half the match and probably better than Kelly or Eve.

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  60. Couldn't agree more about the concert part.  If you have to have the performances, make them fast and one per show.  They wasted ten minutes on some rappers I've barely heard of (not a fan of the genre at all) and for what?  It doesn't make people want to buy the show and I'm not watching to hear a song I can't understand.

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  61. I tried to keep an open mind and not be cynical about this show. I really did. But in 18 seconds they managed to devalue the World Heavyweight Championship, the Royal Rumble and Wrestlemania. It left a sour taste in my mouth that the other matches couldn't make up for. I felt cheated out of my $65 bucks tonight. I don't think I'll be making the trip to NYC next year (something I was seriously considering up until now).

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  62. Goddamn, you need Jericho's flashy jacket and you'd have the troll thing down.

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  63. What would have satisfied you?

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  64. Christopher HirschApril 1, 2012 at 10:25 PM

    Sheamus and Bryan were probaly disappointed to hear they wouldn't be having a real match, but any sadness will be forgotten when they get a fat WM paycheck.

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  65. Hey guys,

    Just got home from the show so I'll post a quickie, drunk off my ass, but happy.  Not sure how any of it came across on TV.

    Daniel Bryan's "Yes!" was the biggest chant for most of the night.  I was shocked to just hear all kinds of people chanting it and of course, the finish to that matched caused a good amount of boos. 

    HHH-UT....wow, what a difference from last year.  Personally, I didn't care for last year's match; but this one, live, was unreal.  I lost my voice on this one and had a hard time booing for Cena later in the night :-) 

    Jericho-Punk - textbook wrestling match; but they had a hard time getting the crowd going like HHH-UT.  Glad Punk won (had my "In Punk We Trust" shirt on, yay!).  Fans seemed worn out from the HITC.

    Cena-Rock - The crowd felt like 75% Rock.  The rapper that introduced Cena as the "underdog" got booed of the stage, as did Puffy or P Diddy or whatever he's calling himself.  Shocked that Rock won, shocked!  The crowd ate it up though, as did I.

    Still drunk, heading to bed, will read everything tomorrow.

    PS  The fucking palm trees blocked 25% of the ring from my $200 ticket.  God Damn it!!!!!

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  66. It's tough to rate WMs in the heat of the moment, most people tend to overrate them (Tommy) or severely underrate them (this Jared Bellow guy).

    Overall I thought it was a good show, I think I would have enjoyed it even more if I hadn't been reading all the 'Brock/Batista' reports kicking around this weekend. I was expecting Brock to come out at the end, regardless of who won.

    I think they were going for a HTM/Warrior vibe for Bryan/Sheamus, but it just didn't click with me, probably cause I like both guys and wished more for them. From a storyline perspective it makes sense, given that Bryan has weaseled his way out of title matches, usually using AJ as a crutch. So here comes the ass-kicker Sheamus to set him straight and teach him a lesson (not to use AJ and exploit her feelings). If it had been the same scenario only with Miz instead of Bryan I would have been fine with it.

    Unlike most people, there wasn't a moment last year I thought the Streak was in jeopardy (no, not even the tombstone spot). But when DX teamed up to deliver the SCM/Pedigree combo, I bit hard.

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  67. Christopher HirschApril 1, 2012 at 10:26 PM

    The winner of the Royal Rumble won his championship match at WM, I disagree it devalued the Rumble. How is this different than Show jobbing the title 30 seconds after winning it, besides Show not being the Internet darling?

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  68. I didn't love taker-HHH but that's because I don't love the way HHH constructs his matches now. Loved Punk-Jericho. And I liked Rock-Cena more than I thought I would. Actually, aside from the crappy looking submissions and feeling like it ended a few minutes too early I thought it was what it was supposed to be. But oh am I going to rant about Sheamus-Bryan below.

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  69. Yeah, I agree.  That was the warriors who left it all in the ring and were brothers in arms now that it was over.  They've known and competed with each other for over a decade now.  Builds mutual admiration and comradory.  At least my take on it.

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  70. I understand where you're coming from, but in that scenario, with those specific characters I think it makes sense. HHH/Taker/HBK are all true professionals who have each others' respect. They go hard bell to bell and will do anything to win, but once the match is over, it's over and they're brothers in arms again. Sort of like a hard fought, physical hockey series where 2 guys absolutely kill each other, leaving themselves battered and bruised. But then after the last game they line up annd shake each others hands, and often have a little hug and words of encouragement.

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  71.  Cult: You should watch it and see what you think. Sheamus/Danielson was a travesty but theres a lot of good stuff on the card as well.

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  72. I just read Meltzer's report and he claims that Sheamus squashing Bryan like that wasn't due to time constraints, but was actually their original plan all along, though some people in the company had been trying to talk Vince out of it.

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  73. Considering what both of them were saying in the press, I would think they would rather go 15 minutes for free.

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  74.  Yeah but remember he gave Rock/Hogan like **1/2 or *** and this was quite similar. I can see him going higher for the Cell and Punk/Jericho than the main eve.... final match.

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  75. I hated the Bryan/Sheamus thing, but to be honest, if it had been the exact same scenario, only with Miz instead of Bryan, I would have marked out hard.

    Bryan's character is an annoying little twat who hides behind his petite gf (who he doesn't even really love and is using to further his career!), so this result makes sense from a booking perspective. It's just that I know what Bryan is capable of (Sheamus too), so I wanted to see a longer match.

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  76. Yes, the floor section facing the hard camera was just FILLED with Daniel Bryan fans holding up "YES!" signs and I could tell they were horribly disappointed about their hero getting squashed like that. On TV, you could hear them starting a "Daniel Bryan" chant in protest during the Orton-Kane and Divas matches.

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  77. You know what? Fuck that explanation. You have the best wrestler on the planet in Daniel Bryan and you have a guy who has the potential to be the best big man ever and you dump it in favor of a fucking heatless, middling Orton-Kane match? A stupid fucking backstage skit with Foley, Santino, and some reality tv show idiot? A bullshit trailer to a shitty movie that the Rock is in?

    I'm sorry, but the more I think on Sheamus-Bryan the more it pisses me off. I don't care that Sheamus went over (happy about it in fact, especially if AJ wins the Divas title soon) but to job out Bryan like he's the job iest jobber to ever job? What a way to devalue the WHC EVEN MORE. I honestly feel stupid for caring about Daniel Bryan as a character or a wrestler (even though he was CLEARLY OVER).

    You pull that shit with a Divas match or have Orton RKO Kane, not for what is hypothetically the most important (or second most important) title on your show.

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  78. Were there any ref bumps in the Rock/Cena match? Would seem like a great way to play into all the Brocktista rumors.

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  79. Christopher HirschApril 1, 2012 at 10:36 PM

    Couldn't have said it better myself.

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  80. This is pretty much EXACTLY how I feel (maybe switch 2 and 3 due to the great crowd/atmosphere for the main event).

    Get out of my head!

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  81. Yep, we got to talking and came to a consensus wrestling hasn't been good in a long time. That's why they get beat in the TV ratings by a show about people going to the fucking pawn shop.

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  82. Why does that make sense from a booking perspective?  What would make sense would be a match full of teases that Bryan is just about to weasel into another victory, and then just barely escapes his come-uppance, until finally Sheamus fights off all of his tricks and traps him with one of the three finishers he's built up.  I don't think it makes much sense to build up a World Title match at WrestleMania and deliver almost literally nothing.

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  83. I meant for the entire show. You clearly have a problem with people having a different view than yours. But you must also be brilliant enough to suggest what would have satisfied you.

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  84. "WWE seems to be considered awful on the internet until I talk bad about it."

    To be fair, no one else goes as far as calling anyone who happens to like it developmentally disabled and hates on the Rock with so much venom. Well, at least since Eric Szulczewski stopped showing up.

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  85. I think I see what you're getting at, in that this exact same match performed by any 2 other wrestlers wouldn't have been as great. But that's what a combined 70 years in the business at a high level gets you. It allows you to take shortcuts when building drama, and always getting the benefit of the doubt from the fans.

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  86. From a storyline standpoint it's no different than Big Show losing the title 30 seconds after winning it. And truthfully, I really didn't care who won the WHC tonight. What annoyed me is that I paid good money with the hopes the "big four" matches would deliver. And from the get-go it was like the WWE said "Screw what you want! We've got your money, now we'll do what we want and you'll like it." I don't feel like Bryan got screwed tonight. I feel like I got screwed.

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  87. Agreed, though I saw it more like Rocky and Apollo. My one problem comes from when HHH was going to hit Undertakeir in the head with the sledge like a Gallagher routine. There's trying to win and trying to murder someone.

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  88. Divsa match was better than Bryan/Sheamus.

    I soooooo hated Hell in a Cell.  Sure hope this is the end of the road for all three of those guys.

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  89. Are you new? You should have seen people's reactions to the Killing finale last year.

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  90. Agree so much.  A World Title match at WrestleMania is not a non-match springboard to a few weeks of SmackDown storylines.  Especially when it wastes one of your three best workers and another one of your eight or so best.

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  91. Oh, that's what I thought. That's part of why I was so pissed. They could have slotted it more time.

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  92. Why is the paying customer supposed to give a shit about two guys getting a paycheck?  The unspoken agreement between WWE and the viewer is that World Title matches at WrestleMania are a big deal and are at least attempts at big-time matches (Sure, Miz/Cena was a mediocre match, but they were at least GOING for it being a big deal).  I watched at someone's house who was ordering it just for the WrestleMania name, but I can't imagine how I would have felt as a fan of the performers Daniel Bryan and Sheamus if I had put down $65 expecting to see them perform on the show where they're supposed to pay off all the things that they half-ass in the year-long build to it.

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  93. The Big Show wrestled a full match beforehand?

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  94. I still would have been pissed. It's Wrestlemania! I don't pay to see a squash in a title match!

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  95. You can argue whether it was the right call, but you really don't see the logic behind it? Daniel Bryan is an undeserving champion, who lucked into winning the title, and escapes his title defenses by pure luck and/or weaseling out of it. Often he exploits his naive gf's feelings in order  to help him keep his title. So the big day comes and Sheamus (who has been squashing guys left and right in his path to the title shot) shows up and kicks the little weasel's teeth down his throat.

    It's HTM/Warrior. Undeserving champ, kick-ass babyface. Be honest, replace 'Bryan' with 'Miz' and are you still pissed and saying it makes no sense?

    Hey, I'm with you in that I was disappointed cause I know what kind of wrestler Bryan (and even Sheamus) is and was looking forward to the match. But I understand what they're going for, and it makes sense. Your idea makes sense too. There's more than 1 path to get where you wanna go.

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  96. Goddamned, how I hate these hyperboles!

    A+??? You can never be taken serious again!
     

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  97. To me, and I might be way off base, but it seems like the office bought into Orton's bullshit about nobody caring about Bryan/Sheamus.

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  98. Told ya Rocky would win :)

    Good match, but felt a little clumsy in places. Rock is awesome, but he's no HBK to carry John into a near ***** classic. Plus I bet they were both nervous as hell to start. Oh well, it was still a good match, following a GREAT match with Punk/Jericho, following a fucking CLASSIC with HHH/UT III (did not expect that).

    The worst thing was definitely the awful "music"...whoever the hell Cena brought out looked like walking STDs and more or less single-handedly justified stealing music. I was initially pissed about Bryan/Sheamus, but cooled off when I realized a) it fit the storyline of Bryan's character always sneaking out wins to stay on top, and b) they'll obviously keep feuding over the next couple of months.

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  99. YES! YES! YES! YES!

    I've been waiting 2 years for Sheamus and Bryan to tear it up. I was just as hyped for their US title match. It was basically a fucking dark match 2 years in a row.

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  100. I was pissed about Sheamus/Bryan, mainly because A) I'm a mark for DBD and B) with 20 YES! signs in the front and the crowd really behind D-Bry, I thought it would make a great moment for both men. That said, it's the lesser of two evils when you considered WWE piled all the throwaway stuff in the first hour and just basically stacked the latter three, which is how it should be. HHH/Taker was incredible and while Punk/Y2J and Rock/Cena couldnt match the ***** hype, they entertained all the way.

    Man, that crowd was DEAD for Team Johnny/Team Teddy. They just could not give a crap.

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  101. HTM/Warrior was an impromptu match in the middle of a card where neither man was promoted as doing anything.  It wasn't one of the top four promoted matches at a show people paid $65 for.  The problem isn't who won or lost or what it did to anyone's character, the problem is that it's a ripoff to not deliver a good match between two of your better workers for a title match that was used to sell a show.  It shouldn't be "leading" somewhere... this is supposed to be the show where the big storylines are paid off in spectacular fashion.

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  102. I think you're being too positive, bordering on mark-ish. This show did nothing to help the company long-term and was rife with pointless segments, terrible musical performances and cancerous booking.D-Bry-Sheamus had the potential to be a show stealer, so it not only gets relegated to the opening match, but Bryan jobs in 18 seconds. Randy Orton jobbing clean was a nice surprise. I'm glad they threw Kane a bone. I just hope this is the beginning of Orton's descent down the card and not just a one-off show of respect to Glen Jacobs.Even though I agree with Big Show going over, the way it was booked made Cody look like a jobber instead of someone on his way to bigger and better opportunities. Taker-Triple H was a series of near falls with escalating improbability. The whole match was little more than a glorified, virtually nonathletic spotfest, consisting entirely of finishers and prop shots. It was so completely overbooked that the kickouts became more predictable as the match went on. HBK's comical facial expressions and his whole "please guys, don't hurt each other" schtick made him look like a nagging housewife, which at least added some entertainment value. I think we found our leading man in drag for WWE Films' Hairspray 2. The dreary, extended circle jerk at the end of the match was insufferable, and this geriatric soap opera not only took time away from talent like Sheamus, Bryan, Kofi, Ziggler and Rhodes, people they should be focusing on as they look ahead, but it did little more than sate the ravenous egos of these three narcissistic vultures, adding absolutely nothing to the company long-term. Miz going over for Team Johnny was the wrong decision. He was a poor draw as champion and he's outclassed by better young heels like Cody, Dolph and Barrett. Kofi or Dolph should've gone over. They're more talented than The Miz and aren't proven main event failures like he is.Punk-Jericho was a great match, with a riveting finishing sequence, and I thought it was quite easily the best match on the show. However, I disagreed with the finish and felt Jericho should've gone over to extend this excellent feud. It was a very stupid decision to have Cena job clean to an actor who has wrestled two matches in eight years. Cena has been the strongest booked wrestler of the last eight years and this clean loss devalues the entire active roster. It should've ended with Brock costing Cena the match. That way, Rock wins still wins and everyone goes home happy, but Cena looks strong. I haven't seen a WrestleMania since XX, and that was a far better show than what we got tonight. I started watching WWE (and wrestling) again, when I heard that Daniel Bryan won the title, but I was very disappointed with this show and I'm probably done watching WWE on a regular basis. Even though the booking had been steadily declining in recent weeks, this was a sharp drop in logic. I don't think I agreed with any of the booking choices, except for maybe Orton-Kane, but as much as I despise Orton for being a blackhole of charisma, Kane IS 45....

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  103. I think you're being too positive, bordering on mark-ish. This show did nothing to help the company long-term and was rife with pointless segments, terrible musical performances and cancerous booking.
    D-Bry-Sheamus had the potential to be a show stealer, so it not only gets relegated to the opening match, but Bryan jobs in 18 seconds. Randy Orton jobbing clean was a nice surprise. I'm glad they threw Kane a bone. I just hope this is the beginning of Orton's descent down the card and not just a one-off show of respect to Glen Jacobs.Even though I agree with Big Show going over, the way it was booked made Cody look like a jobber instead of someone on his way to bigger and better opportunities. Taker-Triple H was a series of near falls with escalating improbability. The whole match was little more than a glorified, virtually nonathletic spotfest, consisting entirely of finishers and prop shots. It was so completely overbooked that the kickouts became more predictable as the match went on. HBK's comical facial expressions and his whole "please guys, don't hurt each other" schtick made him look like a nagging housewife, which at least added some entertainment value. I think we found our leading man in drag for WWE Films' Hairspray 2. The dreary, extended circle jerk at the end of the match was insufferable, and this geriatric soap opera not only took time away from talent like Sheamus, Bryan, Kofi, Ziggler and Rhodes, people they should be focusing on as they look ahead, but it did little more than sate the ravenous egos of these three narcissistic vultures, adding absolutely nothing to the company long-term. Miz going over for Team Johnny was the wrong decision. He was a poor draw as champion and he's outclassed by better young heels like Cody, Dolph and Barrett. Kofi or Dolph should've gone over. They're more talented than The Miz and aren't proven main event failures like he is.Punk-Jericho was a great match, with a riveting finishing sequence, and I thought it was quite easily the best match on the show. However, I disagreed with the finish and felt Jericho should've gone over to extend this excellent feud. It was a very stupid decision to have Cena job clean to an actor who has wrestled two matches in eight years. Cena has been the strongest booked wrestler of the last eight years and this clean loss devalues the entire active roster. It should've ended with Brock costing Cena the match. That way, Rock wins still wins and everyone goes home happy, but Cena looks strong. I haven't seen a WrestleMania since XX, and that was a far better show than what we got tonight. I started watching WWE (and wrestling) again, when I heard that Daniel Bryan won the title, but I was very disappointed with this show and I'm probably done watching WWE on a regular basis. Even though the booking had been steadily declining in recent weeks, this was a sharp drop in logic. I don't think I agreed with any of the booking choices, except for maybe Orton-Kane, but as much as I despise Orton for being a blackhole of charisma, Kane IS 45....

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  104.  I was taken seriously in the first place?

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  105. That's probably true on the heat of the moment part.

    The main issue people seem to have is with the opener, which I can get to an extent, but at the same time think of it like this:

    1. Where does Sheamus go if he loses?

    2. The crowd is instantly fired up.

    3. The match had some of the worst build in recent memory, so it's not like they wasted a ton of build on it.

    4. 18 seconds isn't going to bring down a 4 hour show for me.

    As for the opening hour being weak, I really didn't think so.  As I said I'd been wanting to see Orton vs. Kane forever so it probably did come in high.  The first hour isn't supposed to mean much though as you don't want the fans to get burned out early.  If nothing is bad (which I didn't think it was) and the crowd stays into it for the most part, to me that's about as good as you can ask for.

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  106. Quick question: what's so bad about being markish?  It's the biggest show of the year and I was really excited for it.  I had a good time watching it and thought it was really good.  Is that a bad thing?

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  107. Quick question: Have you been a regular viewer since 2005?

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  108. I'd give it a B. The big mathces delivered and the rest was essentialy useless. The fact it did nothing that the company could build momentum from is the real negative.

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  109. In defense of Hj, you gave it an A+, which in my book would mean this was one of the greatest PPVs (not just WMs) of all time, which it wasn't for the reasons mentioned above.  It was a good PPV overall, but too many things wrong to justify a perfect grade, in my personal opinion.

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  110. It's interesting that the crowd was so dead for Johnny/Teddy, considering the crowds were super hot for the segments in the Raws leading up to it.  I'm thinking having 20 people out there had something to do with it.

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  111. LOL, this is the most biased review ever. 

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  112. Instead of looking at the show like you're some kind of insider, why not just rate it on it's own merits?  This was a very entertaining show, with the guys I paid money to see winning their matches.  I didn't drop $65 so that I could see Vince setting up angles for tonight's Raw.  It's a spectacle.  

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  113. Christopher HirschApril 2, 2012 at 9:01 AM

    I never once said the paying customer should care about that. I was responding to cult's point that Bryan and Sheamus would be upset with the finish. Try not to put words in my mouth.

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  114. I've been a regular viewer since about 1990.  I was born in 1988.  In total I've missed about 5 Raws, zero Nitros, I've seen every PPV from every major company, every SNME, COTC, most Smackdowns and a ton of syndicated and local stuff.

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  115. Completely understandable.  I do tend to be a litle less picky in my ratings than most reviewers do.

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  116.  not at all. marks > smarks.

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  117. I have been watching wrestling since 1988 and Triple H vs The Undertaker was the best match I have ever seen. The only way I can put it into words is like this...When it was over I was so emotionally drained that it felt like I had just watched my favorite football team, (the Giants) play a really close game. I didn't even want to watch the rest of the show. I obviously did and by the time
      the Punk and Jericho match started I was pretty much recharged but that for a second...A staged match with a preplanned ending made me feel like I was watching a real sport. Well done guys.
     

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  118. If the company is going to keep having musical acts, is it too much to ask that they actually do something wrestling-related? Like, oh, I dunno, play the wrestler's theme song or something?

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  119. Absolutely, every so-called "smark" should be complimenting Menounos for going out and performing, despite being in a position where she could have easily backed out without fear of any repercussions.

    And it's not even like she spent the entire match on the apron, she did the majority of the work for her team.

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  120. And yet, in context, it worked - Taker knew what he was getting into when he agreed to meet Trips in HIAC, that there was the very real possibility that Trips would kill him just to win the match.

    And the "Gallagher" reference is hysterical.

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  121. I think the biggest problem with booking Bryan as HTM is that they just didn't give it enough time. I can understand the idea of little weasel Bryan having a long, undeserved reign as champion, and Sheamus finally being the one guy that could conceivably end it, but Bryan was only champion for a MONTH (six weeks?) when the match was signed!

    Bryan won the title at "TLC", and Sheamus won the "Rumble", it's not exactly like people were dying to see Bryan FINALLY lose the title. Quite the opposite, he had JUST won it!

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  122. That second sentence says it all so perfectly and succinctly.

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