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Dark Knight Rises


I normally prefer to review books and movies from years or even decades in the past, but no one I know has seen The Dark Knight Rises yet, so I had to discuss it somehow:
http://autoboticasphyxiation.wordpress.com/2012/07/21/a-tearful-haunted-verdict-meh/
 
Warning: while there are no specific spoilers, it's nonetheless spoiler-ish.

Cheers,
Monte

The movie seems to be polarizing the internet nerds.  I fell on the side of wanting to yell "PLAY IT AGAIN!" at the screen when it was over, but others seem to disagree.  

I will say, however, that clearly what should have happened is that Batman beats Bane the first time they meet and then spends the rest of the movie making jokes, while Bane has his balding Jewish manager make legal threats at Commissioner Gordon instead of doing anything.  Because, like, who knows if Bane would have bailed in the middle of the movie?  Plus then they used him to let everyone know that Batman is the biggest star!  They'd make BILLIONS!

Comments

  1. Good call, Scott - Penguin could've come out and been Bane's mouthpiece; if Paul E. is any DC equivalent, it's him!

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  2. I thought it was really good, not as good as Dark Knight but still. very good movie. 

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  3.  It's such a simple concept but it works so well. You have a good guy who is established as tough and who always wins in the end...then you build up a monster of a bad guy. Then you have the bad guy do things to break the good guy down, leading to one big fight where the good guy seemingly can't win (as was already established by the first beat down) but somehow finds a way to do it.

    They should've just had Gordon turn out to be corrupt and turn on Batman for no good reason. Then Gordon sets up Batman to have to fight Bane and his army all by himself. If Batman loses he can't be Batman anymore. Then you just have him beat Bane and the entire army effortlessly. Or have him lose and still be Batman anyway.

    But seriously, can we talk openly about this or we still avoiding spoilers?

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  4.  It was a fantastic superhero movie that followed a fantastic movie movie.

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  5. ...ooh, ooh! And hen they show replays of Bane breaking Batman's back they should make the screen go all grey.

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  6. But Penguin's a successful businessman now.

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  7.  So, which character says "Let it play out and see where it goes?" in this analogy?

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  8. To make this analogy more apt they could have John Cena lose to Brock and then later on, just when John Cena almost has Brock beat to get redemption...have Eve run in and *ACTUALLY* beat Brock instead.

    Because that's way better apparently.

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  9. I didn't think they could top the Bane of "Batman & Robin", but lo and behold, they did, they actually did.

    BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANE!!!

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  10. The special forces guy who's skeptic of Gordon and Blake?

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  11. Any reviewer that starts his review with a review of what other reviewers have said seems to be a little too concerned that he might accidentally have an original thought.  This reviewer generously avoided that trap.

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  12. You forgot to mention Batman winning for the DC Universe

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  13. How about that football player who refused to job to the bomb in the football field?

    Fucking HHHines Ward

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  14. Um, did you miss the part where Heyman slid a knife in between Cena's ribs, necessitating Eve's counter-interference?

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  15. That was the most ridiculous thing in the film. I mean, Hines Ward with breakaway speed? That's like Hulk Hogan doing jobs willingly!

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  16. ***1/2. Batman didn't sell the back injury for the whole movie.

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  17.  Batman comes back and saves the entire city and does best Bane in 1 v 1 combat, only to be stopped by betrayal. I think that complaint is kinda forced, though, I admit, I would've liked him to have not needed her.

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  18. How were Batman's mic skills?  He was a little gruff the first go 'round.

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  19. It was incredible, I agree with Scott, I could have watched that movie again and again and again!!

    IMO its just as good as The Dark Knight and the perfect ending to the trilogy.

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  20. So out of everyone who's played Batman, where does Christian Bale rank?

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  21. I couldn't discuss it with friends yet, and so I sought the thoughts of those who'd shared them. The whole reason I posted the thing was to suggest that Michelle Pfeiffer remains the superior Catwoman, which no other critic seems to be addressing.

    That said, your comment made me chuckle.

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  22. Also, I enjoyed your Twitter feed. I've never been able to say that to anyone before.

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  23. I enjoyed the hell out of the movie and assuming that the next one is a complete reboot, I loved how they ended it. I don't need to see an actual continuation of the current series because in my mind, I know how it plays out and that's going to be more satisfying than anything Hollywood would make up.

    I don't want to be all gloom and doomy but I do think that when they do reboot Batman in a couple of years, it will be the signal of the end of the superhero movie fad for awhile. I know that nerdism is extremely popular right now and it feels like there's no end in sight, but every trope plays out eventually before needing a rest.

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  24. I'm pretty sure TDKR actually IS the reboot and we're just not supposed to think too hard on it.

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  25. Kilmer and Clooney are almost immediately dismissed due to being one-shots and I doubt most modern cinema-goers, including on this board, have any real memory or appreciaton of West in his time. You look back at him now and just see how goofy it all was. That leaves you with Keaton Vs. Bale and that's a tough battle, imo.

    I think just based off of the pure success of the new series that you have to give the nod to Bale. Keaton's Batman is much more of a superhero and that fits well because those two movies are simply great superhero movies whilst Bale's trilogy has three films that are great movie movies. Keaton's Batman is more menacing, however, and is not above killing and I think that can sway a lot of people to one side or the other in itself.

    One think I think we can all agree on: Keaton's Batman voice is not ridiculous horseshit.

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  26. I read through the comments and cringed throughout. I know its a wrestling blog, but everything doesn't have to come back to wrestling. Other things can exist and be discussed independently. 

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  27. Bane's finisher should be named "The Independence Day", even though it's only a neck crank I think he can get it over with his charisma alone.

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  28. Since everyone else is making wrestling analogies: it was an overblown HHH/HBK 45-minute wannabe classic that fell flat.  **3/4

    That would make 'The Dark Knight' the HHH/HBK Summerslam classic.  ****1/2

    I haven't seen 'Batman Begins' in awhile, but I'll go ****.

    I guess what I'm trying to say is that I agree with the reviewer.

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  29. Pfeiffer's Catwoman was better than Hathaway, but the two versions are very, very different.  I remember reading an interview with Hathaway where they asked her about trying to follow Pfeiffer and she said she felt intimidated so she would try her own thing, which seems to have worked out just fine.  If you've ever seen clips of Halle Berry in the role, you know that trying to imitate Pfeiffer's take will just lead to no good.

    The two roles are a bit hard to compare since in Batman Returns, Catwoman is essentially the lead as the movie is her origin story and quest for revenge, whereas in TDKR, Selina is a supporting role and doesn't get as much time to develop her relationship with Bruce/Batman.

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  30. It was a good movie, action packed and I liked the ending. Heath ledger is dead so nothing they were going to do was gonna be as good as he was but I felt like it was worth the 12 bucks and its a good close to the trilogy.

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  31. I'd go Keaton > Bale > Clooney > Kilmer.  West is good for the show, but it's an entirely different animal than the films, even though both Schumacher films borrowed heavily from it.

    Kilmer is an ok Batman, but he's about as charismatic as cardboard as Bruce Wayne.  I thought Clooney was pretty good as an middle-aged Bruce and I think he could have worked well as Nolan's Batman if he were about ten years younger when the series started.

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  32. I liked it, I didn't love it. I think the majority of my friends have blinders on "because it's Batman and everything he does is awesome and when you add Chris Nolan it's totally awesome."

    Here's the thing, it had pretty much the same ending climax as the Avengers, except Avengers did it better.

    Also, see image. Totally ruined Bane for me the moment he opened his mouth.

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  33. I like Pfeiffer as Catwoman, but liked the Hathaway character better.  The character as written required a more nuanced performance, as the audience was kept guessing right up to the end as to where her head (and heart) was really at.  For that reason, it wasn't as much "fun" as the earlier version, but when it came to campy over-the-top Catwomen, I would take Julie Newmar over Michelle Pfeiffer any day.

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  34. Clooney was a terrible Batman, he made no effort in changing his voice like the other three did.

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  35. Are implying that at one point Paul Heyman and John Cena were lovers?

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  36.  I want to read this thread, but I have not seen the movie.  I will be back, and I expect epic-ness.

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  37. Clooney didn't change his voice because Batman was practically fully deputized in that film; he used a credit card at the fundraiser, for Christ's sake. The whole thing was an ill-timed, ill-considered, ineffective tribute to the '60s TV series.

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  38. Exactly, Clooney was never directed to be anything different as Batman.  I like his take on Bruce though which reminded me of Kevin Conroy's on the Animated Series.

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  39. I won't be watching it until tomorrow night but I gotta say, I get the distinct feeling people are so split on this because everyone is looking for something different. You've got a brainy philosophical Christopher Nolan thriller mixed into a summer blockbuster superhero movie, fans from either camp are going to be let down. And then in neither case will it match up to The Dark Knight; I say that without having seen it because I know damn well they won't top Heath Ledger as the Joker. But regardless, I won't be this excited about a movie for a long long time.

    Over/under on this winning the Best Picture Oscar? Sort of like how Return of the King basically won as a way to award the whole trilogy?

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  40.  No chance in hell does DKR win Best Picture.

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  41. "The character as written required a more nuanced performance, as the
    audience was kept guessing right up to the end as to where her head (and
    heart) was really at."

    I detected no such ambiguity. She struck me as a tired mix of Hooker With A Heart of Gold and Softhearted Crook Who Will Turn Good After One Last Heist. The hint of tears in her pretty Bettie Davis eyes as she watched Bruce get beat down by Bane didn't stir me or strike me as interesting characterization.

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  42.  Especially since Avengers whipped it ever loving ass. . .that said 3 and a quarter stars. . .

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  43. 12 bucks. Goddamn. Thank god I live somewhere where the matinees are still $7.50.

    IMAX would have been close to $20.

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  44.  Well jesus, Avengers is never gonna get an Oscar nod. I mean, it's rare that they'll even acknowledge any kind of big budget action movies. DKR has credibility because it's directed by Christopher Nolan, though, and they've already paid attention to the franchise with Ledger winning. I just think this is the kind of thing that plays into their hands, and they might give it a nod as an unofficial nomination of the whole trilogy.

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  45. It's absolute nonsense how the Oscars are picked anyway. It's basically the opinion of 80 old white men. Who cares? 

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  46.  Suck on this city dwellers: tonight I'm gonna see it at a drive in for 7 bucks a head, and that includes both DKR and Ted. Can't beat that value.

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  47. Drive-ins still exist? That is awesome!

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  48. I don't know that movie gets worse the further I get from having seen it. Too much "cuteness" with the "So that's what the feels like" and "I disagree about this gun thing" and "Lol your real name's Robin GET IT DO YA GET IT?!"

    Overall a good movie but, for me anyway, this "trilogy" consists of one film.

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  49. Or they could have done the movie where Bane brutally murders Batman, Gordon, Alfred, Blake, all of the cops, and Catwoman before Superman swoops in and saves the day. That'll make them want to see Batman 4 :)

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