Monday, November 19, 2012

Monday Night Open Mic

Happy Monday and tonight is the sorta-kinda beginning of the WWE’s season. The season that goes from the end of the Survivor Series to the RAW after Wrestlemania.

That doesn’t mean I’ll be watching but I’m hopeful, at least, this doesn’t mean the start of David Otunga’s push to mid-card greatness. The weird thing with this promotion and this roster is I don’t know what the hell I want. I just want to feel like anticipating a show again.

Anyway let’s hope tonight is the beginning of a six-month stretch of goodness that will remind us what the WWE is capable of when they get it right. Dolph Ziggler winning an important match last night was a beginning and hopefully it won’t be followed with a clean loss to Orton in a ***1/4 match. Not that I mind a ***1/4 match.

Enjoy the show, come out swinging but try to keep it clean.

375 comments:

  1. Is it telling that despite the appearance of Ambrose and Co. last night, I still have no real desire to tune in? Most of the time, I feel like I'm having my intelligence insulted when I watch wrestling on Monday nights these days. The promotion's real "in-season" probably wont begin until after the December PPV to be honest.

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  2. What was up with that horrible intro?

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  3. Two minutes in and they called the NXT guys "goofs." Yay. So glad Lawler is back announcing. Yay, again.

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  4. RYBACK ANGRY

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  5. Ryback is actually...not half bad at the promo.

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  6. If only there was some type of match you could put Ryback and Punk in that would eliminate outside interference. Like a cage or something. Maybe even with a roof on it...

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  7. If the Bears and Illini hoops weren't both on tonight, I'd at least be interested enough to check out Rollins and Ambrose.

    Since they are, I'm probably gonna read Scott's recap tomorrow and see if anything sounds interesting enough to check out.

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  8. Ooh, Jobbersai!

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  9. Nothing makes Ryback look more badass than answering to a middle aged woman.

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  10. Uh oh. Can he get him up this time? Or will Tensai sandbag him like he sandbagged Clay last night?

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  11. Sounds like you want a Punjabi Prison match!

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  12. At least the show didn't start with that dumbass bugle intro of Cena's music.

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  13. Can we all chip in and invest in a singlet for Tensai? I don't think the trunks look is his thing.

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  14. and a muzzle perhaps?

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  15. Is that a picture of General Zod as your avatar?

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  16. Solid match. Ryback looks very much like a polished star

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  17. Kennel in a Cell?

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  18. JAMAICAN ME CRAZY KOFI!

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  19. Yeah, it is an Obama poster with "KNEEL" under it, but I couldn't fit it right.

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  20. It'd be nice if they ever give kofi an actual character. I will never be able to.get into.his generic baby face role. Goes for u too sheamus

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  21. Barrett's theme is awful. He needs something operatic to match his personality.

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  22. He usually has terrible themes.

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  23. His gimmick is that he's Jamaican, but not anymore.


    Sheesh.

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  24. I'm betting the farm that Punk's celebration goes off without a hitch!

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  25. Randy Orton vs. Del Rio again? Oy vey.

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  26. Orton Vs ADR 2 out of 3 falls? God help me.

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  27. But why did Lawler say that he can't wait to see it? He accidentally slipped into shill mode and forgot about their feud, methinks.

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  28. If his tag match with Michaels against the McMahons is any indicator, god doesn't care about wrestling.

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  29. I wonder if there will be cake or some type of trophy.

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  30. No kidding. "Maybe they'll make fun of my heart attack some more!"

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  31. TONIGHT ON THE WALKING DEAD.

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  32. Haha. I bet they really say that too

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  33. Watching on DVR delay... 3 things...1. when did they start doing the recap faceless recap guy? 2. Ryback shouldn't be on the mic longer than 3 sentences 3. Albert - wow, that repackage and re-debut

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  34. Or a trophy made of cake.

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  35. 1. Maybe three weeks ago. 2. Yes. 3. Shut your whore mouth, Prince Lord Albert "A-Train" Tensai was awesome and so close to winning that match. He was also the heart and soul of the legendary faction, X-Factor

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  36. What's the point of people winning the IC then immediately jobbing dozens of times non-title?

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  37. Barrett's finisher is a short-arm elbow strike? Fuck, these guys aren't even trying anymore.

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  38. Why do they feel the need to start every feud for a secondary title with a non-title win by the challenger? It feels like a no win situation.

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  39. First half hour was really good

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  40. Too much Brad Maddox

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  41. Must get shirt.

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  42. I WANT THAT SHIRT.

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  43. Honky Tonk Punk

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  44. WWE 101: The sports entertainer that defeats a champion gains credibility, but the champion doesn't lose his credibility in a non-title loss, because he's still a champion. This is a win-win situation, and should be done whenever possible.

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  45. Lol! +1 for naming dropping all his WWE aliases

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  46. That "I'm a Paul Heyman Guy" better sell out!


    What the fuck is on Matt Striker's face?

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  47. Haha when did striker grow the fu man Chu?

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  48. Well, nice to see Joey Ryan get his shot in the E, even if it is as an interviewer.

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  49. ...i hate this show lately but still get a kick out of Punk/Heyman's throwaway lines Matthews: "Sorry to bother you guys?" Punk, really solemnly:"Then why are you doing it?"

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  50. YO YOU DEALING WITH THE X-FACTOR

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  51. Rhetorical question: If Punk was wise enough to make fun of contract signings always turning into brawls, shouldn't he be suspicious about his celebration?

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  52. Wasn't this chick in the White Stripes band?

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  53. Definitely. Punk still does all of the little things. If the show had more guys who threw themselves into their characters like Punk, we'd be better off.

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  54. Kaitlyn is actually that cat that Pepi La Pew thought was a skunk.

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  55. Alas, some things aren't meant to be. Back a ways, but was still hoping they went with Punk taking over Nexus to destroy it from the inside

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  56. I'm on Barrett v Kingston, I'm so entertained that I felt compelled to post... ADR v Orton 2/3 falls... I'm so excited to ffwd through that.

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  57. Sorry. I had no idea... I didn't know, man.

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  58. I think they've traded the smarky part of his character for the paranoia.

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  59. And repeat the same thing he did in ECW?

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  60. Heyman's expression during the interference last night was awesome.

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  61. I wonder if Stephanie has mandated that Triple H and Kaitlyn must never be alone in a room together? She certainly would fulfill his bodybuilding fetish.

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  62. Why does Kaitlyn's music sound like something Freezepop puked up while high on bath salts?

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  63. Eh, better to do that than have him ignore being on the receiving end of a few nexus beatings then choose to lead them.

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  64. Kaitlyn appears to be a big Ashley Massaro fan.

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  65. What exactly is the point of a division that only has four competitors in it? Seems like the divas are heading the way of the cruiserweights.

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  66. Yeah, but Aksana is way hot.

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  67. You're confusing her with the more talented wrestler Meg White.

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  68. E!: Man, The Soup is a damn good show for us.

    WWE: CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.

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  69. Controlling the WWE Title scene in about five years?

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  70. Four? You had five wrestling Divas on the last PPV alone!

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  71. I'm perplexed as to why they are wearing their ring gear on the show.

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  72. Also see: Money in the Bank briefcase holder

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  73. They always forget about Tamina after a week or two.

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  74. An underdog heel?...shouldn't Brad Maddox be a face? I'm confused.

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  75. Perpetual fear Teddy Long will pop up and demand tag matches?

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  76. Oh, you mean the daughter of WWE Hall of Famer Jimmy "Superfly" Snuka?

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  77. Man, as easy as it is to dislike John Cena's character arcs, I have to tip my hat to the man's charitable work.

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  78. Damn its hard to hate that jerk off after seeing that. He's a good guy. Terrible adult character

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  79. Look, I like Cena as a person and respect the hell out of what he does, but this is fucking exploitation on WWE's part. They're using the videos of these kids to try to shame a reaction out of their audience. This is why people claim Vince will never be anything more than a carny.

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  80. Hey isn't that Jimmy Snuka's daughter??

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  81. Depends, hell freeze over?

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  82. Is that Claire Lynch?

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  83. You mean The Hall of Famer Jimmy Snuka's daughter?? No way...

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  84. Hey, is that Claire Lynch with Vickie? It's like the Earth 2 of shitty storylines.

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  85. I think it's her sister.

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  86. Are you sure? This is the first I've heard of that.

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  87. THREADJACK~!


    Is the Wii U worth buying as a Christmas present?

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  88. Touchy feely?!?!?! LOCK EM UP!

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  89. Wow, this chick acts like most of the roster wrestles.

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  90. Or Stephanie books.

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  91. Or Lawler watching milf porn

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  92. "...here's a story/from a man named Brady...."

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  93. what the frick is this?

    The sad thing is that I have such a hard-on for AJ that I watch most of these crappy segments.

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  94. LIGHTITUPLIGHTITLIGHTITUPLIGHTIITITOLIUSOAIDUFAOU

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  95. If they're going to be tasteless, they should at least go whole-hog:

    "Yeah, Vickie, I saw John Cena and AJ after a show one night, and let me tell you, he made HER wish come true."

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  96. Looking at Vickie's teeth, I guess the WWE doesn't have the best dental plan.

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  97. Vicki is the least talented person to ever hold a prominent spot.

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  98. I miss Eddie Guerrero as much as the next fan, but at least he and Vickie didn't have to go through a segment about him giving somebody the Latino Meat.

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  99. So wait, she paid a middle aged pervert to stalk AJ and take pictures of her? What kind of crack heads are writing this?

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  100. DAMN YOU CENA!! DAMN YOU ALL TO HELL!!!!

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  101. Call me crazy, but she looked more into it kissing Kane.

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  102. LOLOLOLOLOL


    Vince McMahon: "Those damn nerds can't have anything~! I WILL TAKE ALL OF THEIR DREAMS AND CRUSH THEM!"

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  103. Ruh roh. That didn't look good.

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  104. PLEASE CHEER CENA FOR THE LOVE OF ALL THAT IS HOLY!!!

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  105. Depends on if you think a leg injury forcing SuperCena to take a few months off is good or not I guess

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  106. I really think Vince thinks that Cena will get AJ over as much as... Cena is... over...

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  107. At moments like this, I always get reminded of Jesse Ventura's line from Uncle Elmer's wedding.

    "Looks like two carp in the Mississippi River going after the same piece of corn."

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  108. DENTAL PLAN!
    Vickie needs braces!
    DENTAL PLAN!
    Vickie needs braces!
    DENTAL PLAN!
    Vickie needs braces!
    DENTAL PLAN!
    Vickie needs braces!

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  109. I think he just twisted his ankle jumping from the ring, probably not that serious. But who knows?

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  110. And BURY all else that stands in between!!!

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  111. Why do you gotta bring up Jesse when we're just going to return to Jerry after the commercial? It's such a downer

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  112. They're damned near Ferengi in nature..

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  113. It's that kinda of "shove down your throat" emotional manipulation that turns me off Cena. Obviously it's the WWE's fault as opposed to Cena's but they try so so terribly hard to get people to respect him...it just makes me dislike him on principle. The whole "cena can't wrestle" argument is so outdated and incorrect now anyway...I just hate how two dimensional the approach to him has been.

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  114. Well, I'm calling it a night on this show. Time for some 30 Rock reruns before bed.

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  115. So like, what just happened there? I haven't been watching for a while, but I guess those reruns of Family Guy aren't that appealing, so I was watching AJ and Cena, and there were some subtle looks between them that made me think, "hey, I'm probably supposed to think they're having an affair." And then 30 seconds later they are making out. Which I guess means Vicki was right the whole time? What's the point?

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  116. Sprained ankle most likely. Happens often if you run around a lot.

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  117. Anybody else hoping Ricardo gets to do the intro in Auto-Tune for WrestleMania?

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  118. That would actually be a cool angle...Cena breaking down more and more frequently until he finally gets shipped to the glue factory.

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  119. lol. What's the point? lol. HA HA HA HA HA HA. Okay, I have no idea what the point was.

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  120. That might make Cena more of a heel

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  121. I don't like WWE best of three fall matches... they aren't anything special. I'm watching big bang theory bloopers on youtube.

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  122. To visit a dieing horse and grant its last wish?

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  123. He no sold a yr long neck recovery and an arm injury... A sprained ankle to him is like a papercut

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  124. Nah, the witness, Steff, the roster do things very sadly, so picture Jerry very indifferent, perhaps with a tear running down his cheek watching women closer to his own age.

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  125. Then eat its' heart and gain the power of dragons?

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  126. Maybe if you washed the exposed parts that touches Cena you'll be OK.

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  127. I'm actually surprised Lawler didn't use a self-deportation joke for Ricardo's ejection.

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  128. Building Separation! Creating Momentum! What does it all mean?

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  129. That was a smooth sequence to get Del Rio into the DDT.

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  130. The wrong guy went over, but over the past couple of nights, Del Rio hasn't been bad out there.


    That said, it would've been funnier for him to start calling himself the Apex Predatory Lender.

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  131. Probably one of the biggest casualties to catering to younger fans, is the death of the wrestling "character". Kofi really has no clue does he? either even in interviews he comes off as a "nice guy" but theres nothing about his personality that differentiates him between anyone else.

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  132. If that was fake, he did a hell of a job selling it.

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  133. A horse descended from dragons and the mystical dragon power remains locked inside one horse's heart?

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  134. If you close your eyes and squint, she looks like the bastard love child of Lwaxana Troi and the Stay Puft Marshmellow Man.

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  135. I'm not sure what WWE is trying to achieve here with pairing AJ with Cena, is it the whole thing with writers trying to flesh out protagonists and have them exude their masculinity by giving them a pretty love interest? Because that's what Vince has made Raw, a scripted tv drama with a clear protagonist, no shades of grey, no variety, nothing. It's cena or no one else...look he fights cancer, if you don't cheer for him, then you must love cancer.

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  136. I wish someone would crush hornswaggle

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  137. Stephanie McMahon.

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  138. Hard to believe that Hornswaggle is still gainfully employed.

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  139. I HATE when one person goes over an established tag team.

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  140. Look at the kicks he was wearing. No type of support.

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  141. Oh, my God, we're just now to the halfway point?

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  142. I don't think anyone knows what they're trying to achieve anymore. Themselves included. Considering they never established a punishment if they were an item, why would they try to hide it after Vickie started coming up with evidence? Just idioitic

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  143. I can't lie. I like the Miz's shirt.

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  144. If Ryback eats CM Punk's WWE Title-shaped cake all by himself, does that make him the automatic #1 Contender?

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  145. I find it hard to believe that Rosa is acting like no man has ever squirted in her face before.

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  146. I get the feeling that's not the first time that (or something similar) has happened to Rosa.

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  147. You know what would be a good idea? if they gave Punk a NEW WWE belt for his one year anniversary and put that spinning crap out to pasture.

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  148. I'd rather we chip in and invest in a one way ticket back to Tokyo for Tensai.

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  149. Whereas, on the flipside Punk's viral video of him turning up at that crazy-cena-fan kids house, basically taking the piss the whole time but CLEARLY entertaining the child, is infinitely more clever and earns respect.by default.

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  150. Of course there's stuff that differentiates him from others. For instance, he says "Boom" whilst Ryder says "Woo".

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  151. And the SCF just looks bad now.

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  152. At least Steph's new boobs were fun to look at for awhile.

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  153. He really should tape up those ankles.

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  154. Because if it was proven they were having an affair AJ may lose her position as GM... no wait... Um, it might affect Cena and AJ's marriages... no, that's not it... ah.... Vickie's fat, okay! She's fat and eats burritos with the other Mexican! Isn't that enough justification?

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  155. I woulda thought she'd have been terrified of Beth.

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  156. I blame seeing Miz/Otunga on Jay Cutler.

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  157. No idea what this is even about but I support it 100%.

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  158. McMahon: "Get him out in front of a yellow sun NOW!!!"

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  159. I think if you Create Seperation, you can then Build enough Momentum to engage in a Controlled Frenzy and once you've done that you're crowned king Smart, Sexy and Powerful of The World's Longest Running Episodic Television Program.

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  160. The payoff is because.

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  161. The mask is pizza flavored!

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  162. This crowd has had enough of Sheamus, FELLA.

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  163. Sweet JAYSIS this is a horrible promo.

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  164. Long-term friend? No, this isn't scripted, why do you ask? Straight from the heart.

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  165. Cue up the Chair Match any day now for the pay per view.

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  166. Sheamus ALWAYS walks around rather gingerly, if you know what I mean.

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  167. No. He gets a T-shirt and his name on the "Man vs. Food" wall.

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  168. I do not. Please elaborate.

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  169. You saying he's light in his loafers??

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  170. I love that Steve Austin gave us the best character in wrestling history...but also gave us the best way to absolutely destroy any promo too.

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  171. If you are what you eat, Big Show must eat a bucket of shit every morning.

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  172. I got it! I'm smart.

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  173. Why doesn't the Big Show's beanie say "Est. 1999"?

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  174. God, it's scary how quiet the crowd is for Sheamus. Hell, for everything tonight that wasn't Cena making out with AJ.

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  175. I'm sure his loafers are rather hefty, dude's like 270.

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  176. if you can cut a compelling promo then it can be avoided.

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  177. That's what happens when you put all your chips on one guy.

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  178. Have you ever seen a Ginger snap?

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  179. Sheamus lost Shawn Michaels' smile

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  180. NOoo...He's clearly talking about the Elimination Chamber.

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