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Simulate Star Wars!

http://gameological.com/2012/12/play-the-year-star-wars-debacle-simulatron/

This is tremendous.  Best I got so far was a B score with Joss Whedon writing/directing and Joseph Gordon Levitt starring in "Star Wars", with roughly equal numbers on the sliders.  Grossed 338 million for a profit of 162.  Some of the other potential combinations are pretty hilarious, like Michael Bay directing Tina Fey in a romantic comedy called "Again With The Midichlorians?" that ended up making $0 at the box office and losing 163 million.  

Comments

  1. A-. A Fistful of Bounties starring James Franco, written by Michael Arndt and directed by PT Anderson. Profit 224 mil.

    Surprised that Jon Favreau isn't on the list in the game. I would be shocked if he isn't directing Episdoe 7.

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  2. Revenge of the Wars written, directed, and starring Lucas himself, in a Star Wars rom-com, lost $117 million for me.
    Proving that Lucas is a hotter romantic lead than Tina Fey.

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  3. "Follow those Wookiees" starring George Lucas. I wanted to call it "Fuck You, That's Why" starring George Lucas, but alas. Unfortunately didn't note the grade, but it lost $27 mil.

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  4. Screwing around: The Wrath of the Ewoks, written by Tina Fey, directed by Sofia Coppola, starring Jeff Goldblum, 97 Sci/3 Com (since you can't go 100% apparently)...



    395 million production, ZERO box office.

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  5. Endless Trade Embargoes written and directed by George Lucas...oh wait nevermind. That was Episode 1.

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  6. Star Wars: Return of the Wars

    Written by: Warren Ellis
    Directed by: Kevin Smith
    Starring: Nathan Fillion

    Opening: $100,752,144
    Domestic: $387,803,985
    Production Cost: $190,220,771
    Profit: $197,583,214

    "The number of people writing in 'Jedi' as their religion on the census is almost certain to go up. These Sith are not just evil, they're real bastards. And great fun."

    A-

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  7. I made $180 million with M.Night Shyamalan directing something called "A Fistful of Senators".


    I think this thing is broken.

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  8. That's the twist ending.

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  9. Those Fabulous Wookies. Written by Kevin Smith, directed by Spielberg, and starring JGL. Sliders pretty even, but weighted a little more toward action and less to romance.

    ~113mm C-

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  10. It's totally random.

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  11. "Mind Your Blasters" written and directed by Charlie Kaufmann and starring James Franco only gets $76 million profit and earns a D-.

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  12. Got an A- with "Revenge of the Ewoks"

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  13. My picks: Warren Ellis to write, David Cronenberg to direct, Michael Fassbender to star in Wrath Of The Clones, made over $338 mill domestic, got a C-. From the review:

    "The film spends a disappointing amount of time propping up a romantic B-plot that goes nowhere. There are a few good one-liners, but a script optimized for quotability does not make a great film."

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  14. I managed pretty good one with SW: Wrath of the Deathless
    Witten by Jane Espensen, Directed by Joss Whedon, Staring Michael Fassbender

    Opened with 101 Mil
    Domestic 388 Mil
    Profit 224 Mil



    But then I got the same score and numbers with SW: Master of the Womp Rats
    Written by Neil Gaimen, Directed by David Lynch and Staring Edward James Olmos

    That made me realize it was not a true scientifically accurate measure of a movies potential- now I don't believe in anything..... I'm going to go to law school.

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  15. Neil Gaiman, J.J. Abrams and Nathan Fillion in "Star Wars Episode VII: Master of the Lost", for a B+ in EW and $147 million dollars. But mostly MY UNDYING LOVE.

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  16. No matter what combination I put together, the reviews are always terrible and I don't make any money. I'm the Ole Anderson of Star Wars movies.

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  17. A Fistful of Hutts...written by David Lynch, directed by Joss Whedon, starring Jeff Goldblum. Cost $163 mil, got an F, profit: negative $78 mil


    The sequel needs more Bruce Campbell. Obviously.

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  18. B- for Gaiman writing and directing and starring Fassbender. The title simply "Star Wars" I'm not gonna lie, before that I had starring Gaiman and it was less then stellar. At least the sequel made money!

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  19. Pretty sure it's just random with the results, since I started just hitting the Launch button and got different results without changing anything. Nonetheless, this is fun.

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  20. My favorite so far...

    Wrath of the Deathless, written, directed, and starring George Lucas...


    B-
    25% Action, 50% Sci-Fi, 10% Comedy, 15% Romance

    Opening: 88 mil
    Domestic: 335 mil
    Production Costs: 179 mil
    Profit:155 mil

    If this is the only movie you'll see this year, and for some, it will be, it's probably just as well. One wonder if this is the same Lucas that helmed the prequels.

    WINNER!

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  21. A-. JJ Abrahms (writer), Ridley Scott (director), JGL starring. 201mm profit. "Master of the Clones".

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  22. Yep, looks totally random. Although it is fun to have Gaiman writing, Whedon directing and Fillion starring - the internet would just implode on itself.

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  23. Am I the only one not on the Joseph Gordon Levitt love train? He'll always be the little shit from 3rd Rock and Cobra Commander in my eyes.

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  24. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=53DQgbj2mIc

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