DDP Yoga Link

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

The SmarK RAW Rant–12.10.12

The SmarK RAW Rant – 12.10.12

Is it me, or should TLC have been called Armageddon this year like it used to be? They could have Mayan death matches and stuff.

To the mailbag!

“Forget Punk!
What if Dolph Ziggler was the leader of the shield? It makes sense. He has vickys backing to do whatever he wants (despite that she has less say LATELY)...He is an internet darling that gets screwed left and right. If the Shield really was to protect "justice" Dolph Ziggler would be their number one client”

I like the cut of your jib, sir.

Live from East Rutherford, NJ

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler

Dolph Ziggler is out on a ladder, talking about how Cena has blown title shot after title shot, until Vince stepped in and gifted Cena yet another shot with their match at the PPV. Sheamus interrupts, smiling and joking as usual. He thinks that it’s more like to be himself against Cena for the title, which draws boos from the crowd. Interesting, but I guess the Jersey crowd would like Ziggler better. Big Show comes out and would love to smash his ignorant immigrant face in, but can’t due to contractual reasons. Welcome to the era of badass heels who play by the mandated rules. So Sheamus pushes Ziggler off his ladder since he can’t touch Show. What a dick. This “no contact” stuff is so stupid, since they’re working house shows together anyway, plus it makes both guys look like wusses. If they hate each other so much, the belt shouldn’t matter. Be a man and beat the other guy up already!

Vince McMahon introduces Vickie Guerrero, and bullies her into making Sheamus v. Dolph Ziggler tonight so he can job to the Brogue Kick yet again. And AJ v. Vickie tonight as well.

R-Truth v. Wade Barrett

Wade tosses him immediately and runs him into the apron, and back in the ring for two. Truth gets a fluke rollup for the pin at 1:51. This was nothing. ½*

Meanwhile, AJ is so excited that she bursts into the men’s locker room to tell Cena, and he’s so EMBARRASSED. Oh, the HILARITY.

#1 Contender match: The Usos v. The Primetime Players v. The Rhodes Scholars v. Epico & Primo

So the winners of this will face Rey & Sin at the PPV in a tables match to determine who will then get a title shot in the future. It must be exhausting to be the poor guys who have to come up with this stuff. The Colons work over an Uso for a while to start, and that’s pretty boring. Then he comes back with the flying splash and pins Primo at 3:10, so guess it’s elimination. We take a break, and a Player gets eliminated during the commercial! Apparently this aired on the WWE app, which is useless for us in Canada because the show isn’t live. So we’re down to the Usos and Scholars, and the Usos double-team Sandow, but Rhodes comes in to turn the tide, and Sandow drops the ELBOW OF DISDAIN for two. The crowd mocks Cody’s moustache and the Uso makes the hot tag to the other Uso, who hits the Cheeks of Fire on Cody for two. They fight on top and the flying splash hits knee this time, and the Crossroads finishes at 11:00. That was pretty much a fait accompli, although the crowd was REALLY into the Usos for some reason. **

Eve Torres v. Alicia Fox

Eve works a headlock but Fox comes back with a headscissors after an awkward sequence and gets a northern lights suplex for two. Backbreaker gets two. Eve pulls her down from the top and finishes with her neckbreaker at 2:29. Eve then poses for the photographer over the fallen Fox, which is a funny bit. ½*

CM Punk is out with his crutches to assure us that, yes, it was a real knee injury he suffered and he’s not just ducking Ryback. He starts taking shots at the Rock already, pointing out that he doesn’t need a stunt double, and he’s NOT AFFILIATED WITH THE SHIELD.

Sheamus v. Dolph Ziggler

Yes, it’s the first of our three equally important main events tonight. Sheamus works the knee right away and gets a kneecrusher for two, then elbows him down as the crowd gets behind Ziggler. Sheamus continues working the knee in the corner, but Ziggler comes back with a dropkick and they brawl out as we take a break. Back with the crowd doing dueling chants for Ziggler while Sheamus bails to recover from a chinlock. Back in, Ziggler with a neckbreaker for two. Another chinlock, but Sheamus comes back with clotheslines before hitting the corner on a charge. Ziggler gets two with the ropes, and an armbreaker gets two. Sheamus catches him with a fallaway slam and gets the forearms, but goes up and gets crotched. They fight on top, and Ziggler brings him down with an X-Factor for two. Sheamus tries the cloverleaf, but Ziggler gets the ropes, so Sheamus gets the backbreaker for two. Ziggler ducks the Brogue Kick and uses a chair for the DQ at 14:22. About time someone used one of those chairs around the ring. And as usual, Sheamus blasts him with the Brogue Kick when all is said and done. Why do 15 minutes for THAT finish? Match was good, starting dull but building as the crowd got behind Ziggler. ***

Meanwhile, Vickie is caught in a compromising position with Khali and Hornswoggle. OH THE HILARITY.

The Shield cuts a promo from their own camera, laying down the injustices they’re righting. Holy shit does Dean Ambrose sound like a star. Whatever “it” is, he’s got it. If he can back it up in the ring when he debuts, he’ll get the rocket strapped to his ass.

Alberto Del Rio v. Zack Ryder

Zack pounds away in the corner and gets two, and goes to a chinlock. Whoa, that’s OFFENSE. Del Rio puts him down with a shot to the back and goes to his own chinlock, and a backbreaker gets two. Running kick in the corner gets two. Aaaaaand, we go back to the chinlock. Zack comes back with a sunset flip for two, but Del Rio gets the german suplex for two. Double axehandle gets two. And we go to ANOTHER chinlock. Zack backdrops him to the floor and makes the comeback with the Broski boot, but ADR counters it into the armbreaker and Ryder taps as usual at 6:33. Neither guy even has a program right now, what was the point of this besides filling time? *

AJ Lee v. Vickie Guerrero

It’s the second of our main events tonight, and Brad Maddox is appointed referee for some reason. So Vickie attacks and chokes her out on the ropes, but AJ snaps and Vickie bails. AJ hauls her back in and goes for the pin, but EVIL REFEREE Brad Maddox won’t count. And then Vickie uses the Diva version of the Tiger Driver ’91, the rollup, for the pin instead. Yeah, this was pretty horrible. -*** And since they spent the whole show putting over how this is AJ’s hometown, could you expect any other finish? AJ has a screaming fit at ringside over doing a job on TV, which I guess makes her the new version of Shawn Michaels.

Antonio Cesaro v. Kofi Kingston

The boring mix-and-match booking continues tonight. Cesaro is winning on Sunday and Kofi is losing, so I’m guessing Kofi wins here. Cesaro works on the arm and takes Kofi down after a headlock, but Kofi slugs back in the corner. Kofi springboards with a forearm, but Cesaro necksnaps him on the top rope and double-stomps him for two. This crowd is obviously burned out after two hours. Cesaro chokes away in the corner and drops an elbow for two. Kofi makes the comeback, but runs into an elbow as we TAKE A BREAK?!? Jesus, it’s 1:00AM as I’m watching this and I wanna go to bed, just end this borefest already. Back with Cesaro holding a bearhug, but Kofi gets a sunset flip for two. Cesaro slams him down MMA-style for two. Gutwrench gets two. Cole talks about how Cesaro only uses free weights in the gym as if that’s supposed to mean anything to anyone who isn’t HHH. Cesaro goes to another bearhug as the crowd gets really bored with the match, but Kofi gets a weird bodypress for two. Cesaro reverses the SOS with an uppercut for two. Another SOS gets two as Cesaro grabs the ropes. Kofi misses a blind charge, but goes up with the bodypress, which Cesaro catches for a backbreaker. NEUTRALIZER finishes at 14:18. This just kept GOING. *1/2

Miz TV features the Rhodes Scholars, or as Miz calls them, the “Beardo and the Weirdo.” Holy god turn this guy heel again already. Miz makes gay jokes and then laughs at his own material in obnoxious fashion, as well as making up LIES about dissention between the Scholars. And then he declares them “The Pink and the Stink” to finish. Holy shit this last hour is just destroying my soul bit by bit. I can only imagine how crappy the ratings are gonna be.

John Cena v. Big Show

Oh god, we’ve still got 20 minutes left, so we’re gonna be here for a while. Hey remember when John Cena was DESPERATE to win Money In The Bank because Big Show as champion would be the death knell for the company? And now Show has been World champion for two months and Cena apparently doesn’t care. Anyway, Cena tries a sleeper by jumping on Show’s back and puts him down for two. An FU attempt backfires, and of course we take a break. Back with Show getting a spear for two. And then a bearhug as this show has ground me down into submission. So Cena makes his comeback, but walks into a chokeslam that gets two for Show. Cena counters the punch with the FU…and here’s the Shield for the DQ at 15:03. Yeah, this was something that happened. * And then FINALLY things pick up with a big wacky brawl with the guys who are, you know, in the main event for Sunday finally appearing at the very end of the show, and Ryback THROWS A LADDER IN THE SHIELD’S FACES in a crazy spot before everyone gets into a giant fight to end the show. I wish anything else on the show would have had that kind of energy.

The Pulse

Damien Sandow was awesome in telling off the Miz.

That’s what I got for this week.

239 comments:

  1. Also, while I'm thinking about it, what happened to AJ and Cena being all hot and heavy for each other? Now AJ's a crazy stalker again and Cena's like "Ha ha, dig this wacky chick all into me." And then she'll cost him the briefcase by being an interfering CRAZY WOMAN and he'll be all mad at her for a week before going back to laughing about stuff when they forget about that too. And is Vickie no longer concerned with their affair? Why did we spend, what, a month of storylines watching Vickie present evidence that didn't lead to anything?


    I think the Shield needs to powerbomb this storyline.

    ReplyDelete
  2. I said in the live thread that the Shield attacking Cena makes no sense, because Punk's long since moved on from Cena. But if ZIGGLER is the guy behind the Shield? Well, that would make a lot more sense, wouldn't it?

    ReplyDelete
  3. "Cole talks about how Cesaro only uses free weights in the gym as if that’s supposed to mean anything to anyone who isn’t HHH."

    Triple H can pay for his weights, tss tss.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Best thing about this show? CODY'S MUSTACHE! Seriously, the crowd was awesome for chanting that. Good to see Cody back as he is one of my favorite wrestlers right now. Though he hasn't been doing as much since his awesome run in 2011, he's still extremely talented and there are worse ways to use him than teaming with Sandow. Rhodes Scholars owning the Miz was pretty great too.


    I was wondering where the hell Ryback was all night. The finish was pretty sweet. Hot crowd too.


    I like Cesaro but lord has he been pretty boring since he's debuted. His character is pretty bad, and his matches have been hit or miss. I don't think he's had a match that I'd even qualify as "very good" and his match with Kofi tonight was a snoozer.


    Loved the Shield promo. It had a unique feel to it. Almost like those NWO promos when they first debuted. And Ambrose was awesome yet again. "BRING TABLES! BRING LADDERS! BRING CHAIRS. The Shield brings the sword" Awesome. Hope he brings it in the ring. And I hope they deliver in their match on Sunday.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Luckily I missed most of this storyline. The thing that baffles me is this: Vickie accuses them of a relationship(which why would that be punishable? Vickie's done it twice) which they repeatedly deny. So what's their solution to prove her wrong? KISS IN FRONT OF HER! You give 100 monkeys 1 week to write a feud and I guarantee it makes more sense than this one.

    ReplyDelete
  6. "For England, Umaga?"

    "No.....FA'SAMOAAAAAAA!"

    *samoan spikes Trevelyan off antenna*

    ReplyDelete
  7. Punk still hates Cena though, so why not continue to fuck him up?

    ReplyDelete
  8. Oh, and good Superman comeback, jobber, that was certainly two heavyweights battling to the end (my fucking RBs did me in, as was Brady embarrassing Houston without involving Welker). I think I still get the #1 seed by having more total points if my math is right, but we're both getting byes into round 2 unless the settings changed.

    Either way, what I'm saying is this: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HPG-6FmAfDg

    ReplyDelete
  9. This sounds awful.

    ReplyDelete
  10. "Cole talks about how Cesaro only uses free weights in the gym as if that’s supposed to mean anything to anyone who isn’t HHH."

    This actually was interesting to me. Almost all strength trainers tell you to only use free weights to build muscle and strength but once you reach a certain level of strength you can start getting big benefits by adding machines to your routine for better hypertrophy and for aesthetics also (shape your muscles). If he REALLY did get that physique on just free weights he has some incredible genetics.



    I have a feeling it was just a line fed to Cole to explain his strength as freeweight/bodyweight lifters will have a higher degree of functional strength than machine users.

    ReplyDelete
  11. I have been waiting and waiting and waiting for them to bring Dean Ambrose up. I've seen some of his promos from FCW/NXT and he is absolute gold. But yeah, if you're wondering if he can back it up in the ring? Don't worry. He can.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I really want to see Ambrose on Raw, but I see sitting through three hours of this akin to trying to pan for gold in a river of shit.

    ReplyDelete
  13. Scott, I think you undersold Cesaro catching Kofi in mid-air with that sick backbreaker. That was a cool display of power there, at least.


    Miz is supposed to be a babyface, right? Because I was rooting for Sandow and Rhodes to beat the shit out of him, Horseman style.


    Speaking of all things WCW, that was definitely a Nitro like ending. Only thing missing was Sting coming down from the rafters as the show went off the air.

    ReplyDelete
  14. Yeah, I mean, even if it went over 99% of the fans heads, at least Cole was A) talking about the wrestler and B) putting him over in an unique manner.


    I'm not exactly a 98 pound weakling (nor am I Mr. Olympia, but I do try to workout everyday and know a little bit about what it takes to get certain types of bigness) but if Cesaro has a phenomenal body (all of the homo) Triple H should be all over that guy. And I believe he doesn't use much weights, he doesn't have the bodybuilder look of a Hogan/Warrior, he looks like what rugby/football players look like.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Eh...I like the Dark Knight too, but it was 4 years ago and I think it's time to move on.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Not only that but you can get shredded using machines too. Granted, it's easier to put on mass using free weights for most muscle groups, but nothing's going to beat a lat pulldown or pulley push down for the lats and triceps, respectively. Pretentious body builders who have decided their system is the only system really piss me off.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Somehow, the WWE continues to lower the bar with its female characters. I don't know what Vince's mom did to him but...damn, it must have been bad.

    ReplyDelete
  18. THERE HE IS!.... http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fXMd8Kv4jH0

    ReplyDelete
  19. Much like Rachel/Joey, it's a long dragged-out arc that no one asked for, that dies a quick death, and winds up meaning jack shit in the end.

    ReplyDelete
  20. The sick backbreaker from Cesaro, Sandow's shtick and Cody's Stache were the only positives on this show. Everything else was painfully cheesy or repetitive.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Just because you say so, doesn't make it true.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Caliber_Winfield_69420BoobiesDecember 11, 2012 at 4:49 AM

    Man, you go to a gym, and anyone lifting weights there thinks their system is the ONLY system.

    The only thing Cesaro will get from not using machines is that his stabilizer muscles will be stronger.

    I love me some machines. Gets that form down SOLID.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Whatever, I'm just down voting because of the apostrophe in your second "it's."

    ReplyDelete
  24. Caliber_Winfield_69420BoobiesDecember 11, 2012 at 5:02 AM

    I couldn't imagine just using free weights. I dig'em and all, and of course use them for biceps, and such, but I do High Intensity Training. I only work out once, MAYBE twice a week, for only 20 minutes a session. I use some heavy weight, and isolation exercises before compound. So, let's say I'd do chest flies then immediately go into bench press. You also lift really slow. 4 seconds up, hold for 2 seconds, lower for 4 seconds. When you lift like that, and you hit 7 or 8 reps, your muscles are toast, and with free weights is impossible to keep strict form and keep going, so machines work brilliantly. Also, since I work alone, going to absolute failure on something like bench is best with machines, because if my muscles give out, I don't drop the shit on my neck.

    Who's your favorite bodybuilder, Phred?

    ReplyDelete
  25. Is the Shield Superboy Prime with the Retcon punch!?


    BOOK IT

    ReplyDelete
  26. ^cuz thats awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  27. GOD I LOVED ME SOME WCW!!!

    ReplyDelete
  28. Which would make sense as Cesaro's backstory is supposed to be one of a rugby player kicked out for rough play.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Damn you're right. You have 48 more points than me. Guess I am the 2 seed. See you in the finals

    ReplyDelete
  30. Fucking homerun chippah

    ReplyDelete
  31. Whatever... BRO DO YOU EVEN LIFT?

    ReplyDelete
  32. Dolph Ziggler is being forced to defend his Money in the Bank briefcase against a guy who has already cashed in and lost. That is injustice, and The Shield responded accordingly. Doesn't mean Dolph is their leader.

    It has been a long time since I've disagreed more with a match's rating than the one given to Kingston v Cesaro. That was a great match and really made Cesaro look like a star. *** easy.

    And holy crap, how over is Ryback right now? Say what you will about WWE, they absolutely understand when something is working. Replacing CM Punk with The Shield in the main event of TLC was absolutely the right move, if only because it means Ryback can now get a PPV main event win (not saying he'll get it, but Punk retaining was a foregone conclusion). And it debuts Ambrose in the main event. When's the last time that's happened?

    ReplyDelete
  33. Are you f'ing kidding me? Did you miss the part where Caliber eats five-pound steaks and bench presses exponentially growing amounts between every sentence in his BOD reviews? I would almost equate him to Chuck Norris if I wasn't pretty sure I'm getting roundhouse kicked to hell for even entertaining the thought.

    ReplyDelete
  34. If the Shield has to have a leader, I'm hoping for the Rock myself.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Pfft whatevz, that shit was funny.

    ReplyDelete
  36. That's like the Hulk being in Warbound. It may be interesting for awhile but he doesn't need it...he's the Hulk.

    ReplyDelete
  37. The roll up being the Diva version of Tiger Driver '91 about had me doubled over with laughter , especially thinking of Japanese announcers calling the Diva matches.

    "SHITTY ROLLUP!"

    ReplyDelete
  38. I wouldn't have to watch the show on mute if Eddie Guerrero had seen his cardiologist on time.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Point, but it got the rest of that team over by association.

    Damn, why can't Greg Pak be a booker?

    ReplyDelete
  40. Why are we supposed to dislike Antonio Cesaro? Because he speaks multiple languages? He feels like one of Vince's old school heels that we're supposed to boo because he's not American.

    ReplyDelete
  41. I think the idea is that Cena didn't know what he was getting into (giggity). And as canon insists that he's a "normal guy," his intentions were pure, etc., but now AJ's freaking out, because Women, AMIRITE? There's also a hint of David Cassidy-kayfabe here; you can't have the lead babyface paired off for too long, because he's not an accessible fantasy to the fanbase at that point.

    Compare that with a character like Punk, who, being both a more recent heel and already somewhat "weird" because he has tats and likes fandom-related stuff, is better-equipped to deal with this sort of thing ("I dig crazy chicks").

    ReplyDelete
  42. You're not supposed to dislike him because he speaks five languages. You're supposed to dislike him because he insults you in multiple languages.

    ReplyDelete
  43. This is getting another 2.5. First two hours were so terrible that it had to fall badly in the third hour.


    AJ is HORRIBLE. They need to drop any storylines related to her and have her go back to the divas division. Hell, give her the divas title but just leave her out of major parts of the companies business. She isn't a draw, she will never a draw. Having her pop up five times a night is freaking ridiculous.

    ReplyDelete
  44. So he's based off PSY? Meh.

    ReplyDelete
  45. A Lyle Chipperson reference? On MY blog of doom?

    ReplyDelete
  46. ^for shitting on Cal

    ReplyDelete
  47. I LOVE THE WARBOUND... Except Miek and Elloe...

    ReplyDelete
  48. Thumbs down because I liked Rachel and Joey together, though that could be because of my inherent hate of Ross.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Hate to beat the dead horse, but this Shield thing (once they reveal a leader) lends itself to "WarGames" against a Ryback-led team.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Is there a more unlikeable "face" than Miz right now? He is terrible in this role.

    ReplyDelete
  51. I'm trying to figure out what demo he is supposed to appeal to and I'm drawing a blank.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Douchebag frat boys with fauxhawks?

    ReplyDelete
  53. So no wrestling character can ever borrow from pop culture. Wow, that's a dumb opinion and then you follow it up by calling the board "motherfuckers", lol, where's Chin to set you straight, ha ha.

    ReplyDelete
  54. "If they hate each other so much, the belt shouldn’t matter. Be a man and beat the other guy up already!"


    Now, come on. We complain about the belts not meaning anything anymore but then you say this? Their refusal to touch each other shows how much they want to compete in a match for the world title, because both (especially Sheamus) want to walk away with it.

    ReplyDelete
  55. The cool demo. Your mama! OOOOoooohhhh.


    His act is so disjointed right now that it's hard to label the face turn--if it is a face turn--anything but a failure at this point. As you said before, he is like Cena-lite (like the majority of faces these days) on many levels--glib, pandering, and making jokes when the situation doesn't call for humor. I think he's trying to throw in some Piper-esque qualities, too, with cutting in with one-liners. His character really hasn't shown heart or integrity at this point, which are qualities fans can respect, at least.



    It's kind of a muddled mess right now.

    ReplyDelete
  56. I know I'm going to get hate for this, but I gotta say it. I had the exact opposite reaction to the shield promo. It came off to me as now lite. And Ambrose hair tic is way distracting.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Threadjack


    Did anyone see the released seating chart for TNA Lockdown ? mind = blown

    ReplyDelete
  58. We know, you think he's weird looking, that's how you decide whether you can take a pro wrestler serious or not, weird looking wrestlers = no buys for Dougie....old news. Move on. Blah blah blah.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Honored that my downvote will be the first of many.

    ReplyDelete
  60. How about if the leader of The Shield is...Dean Ambrose? Why can't they be a group that is operating on their own terms instead of just another stable to protect another guy?

    ReplyDelete
  61. I havent been watching Raw lately, but has Cesaro been busting out the "United States of Antonio" promo he did for Tribute to the Troops?

    ReplyDelete
  62. I will never understand why you guys are so upset by differing opinions.

    I just look at the three of them and see Reigns as the breakout star. He has the look and the pedigree.

    ReplyDelete
  63. TEACH ME HOW TO DOUGIE!

    ReplyDelete
  64. I'm not upset, shit, we're talking pro wrasslin'. I'm not going into this again and I said nothing abou Reins, I just repeated your opinion of how Ambrose is "weird looking" and you can't take him serious because of it.

    ReplyDelete
  65. That... is terrible and a HUGE waste of money

    ReplyDelete
  66. I don't know... those "blah blah blah" comments from the previous post sounded deadly serious to me. Super serial

    ReplyDelete
  67. I'm already on record as saying that Reigns is going to be the guy to replace Cena. All he has to be is average in the ring, and he is going to be a star.

    ReplyDelete
  68. That's a great point you make. I think Miz can be a good face, but he's not John Cena. This guy has obviously been a wrestling fan since he was a kid and it was his dream to be in WWE, starting out as a reality tv star then getting into wrestling, taking his lumps and beatings and continuing to persevere, that's a compelling story that all fans can get behind (as long as it isn't done in a ham-handed kind of way). But as long as they make him into Cena-lite, it's not gonna work.

    ReplyDelete
  69. I enjoy the way Sandow holds a microphone. And I think if people want a Cena heel turn, they should really get behind Miz as a face. Because he's the potential replacement.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Sandow is all kinds of awesome right now.


    I would think Sheamus is a more likely replacement, but if we're going to be stuck with Miz...umm, go Super-Cena!!

    ReplyDelete
  71. Right. Miz can be a viable face. Maybe half the BoD disagrees, but he has the qualities to do it. This current act needs some major tweaking, though.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Miz is good with mainstream exposure.

    ReplyDelete
  73. The smiley jokester is pretty grating. I don't know why they hate serious faces so much.

    ReplyDelete
  74. I just watched a match between Ambrose and William Regal in FCW and damn if it wasn't good. I don't know much about Ambrose but looks like he'll be ready to bring the goods in the ring this Sunday

    ReplyDelete
  75. January: the Shield are in trouble - Cena about to put them away. A masked man comes into the ring and gives Cena what Cole will call an RKO. Off comes the mask, and it was an Ace Crusher all along! Big Johnny! Big Johnny!

    I miss Big Johnny. A lot.

    ReplyDelete
  76. You can get shredded any way that effectively works muscle. I've grown to hate gyms for that reason. Also I'm a lazy fatass.

    ReplyDelete
  77. I have finally stopped dvring this show. I cannot take this show and this company's crappy booking anymore.

    Sounds like I didn't miss much.


    Please wake me when Vince has to resort to booking like it was during the Monday Night Wars.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Wasn't the show last night from Newark, not East Rutherford?

    ReplyDelete
  79. I saw Ambrose wrestle in a dark match last year, and I wasn't overly impressed but he wasn't terrible or anything. What he seemed like on the mic though was a reincarnation of Roddy Piper. Dude's got personality to spare...I've definitely got my eye on him.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Man, you would never make it past the first round of interviews for a WWE writer position.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Vince should buy all the available seats and fill them with cardboard cutouts of various WWE superstars.

    ReplyDelete
  82. He looks like Jason Statham. Book him that way.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Caliber_Winfield_69420BoobiesDecember 11, 2012 at 9:27 AM

    Chuck Norris is a bitch. Now, if you want to compare me to JCVD, that would be much better.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Caliber_Winfield_69420BoobiesDecember 11, 2012 at 9:28 AM

    Huh, and here I thought that people who talked in all caps were idiots.

    ReplyDelete
  85. Wouldn't those guys be busy on a house show or something?

    ReplyDelete
  86. I don't know about you, but I think Ambrose does a great impersonation of Jim Gordon.

    ReplyDelete
  87. He's a great worker. Definitely has held his own in the ring with DB and other dgusa guys.

    ReplyDelete
  88. I would sign a petition to bring Ace back on tv. He was the man.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Yeah that whole angle was electric.

    ReplyDelete
  90. I can't wait for the post WM Sandow WHC push. It's going to be awesome

    ReplyDelete
  91. Caliber_Winfield_69420BoobiesDecember 11, 2012 at 9:32 AM

    What? When Ross goes insane around the 5th season, he becomes fantastic. I had no beef with him beforehand, but when he goes nuts? It's gold, Jerry, gold!

    ReplyDelete
  92. Will this get more down votes than Phredrics anti Ambrose post? My guess, probably not since most people think this post is just trolling while Phredic actually meant his "dark knight was 4 years ago" rip. Still should be an interesting race.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Lol, but dougie might catch you

    ReplyDelete
  94. Oh come on, Rachel and Joey were perfect for each other. Ross was a dick.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Best sex of his life apparently.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Caliber_Winfield_69420BoobiesDecember 11, 2012 at 9:35 AM

    Apparently the Miz's mother post here...

    ReplyDelete
  97. I think his ring work makes him a better face but this current act makes me want to see him even less than before...which I didn't think was possible.

    ReplyDelete
  98. I see people are pissed about the PtP situation because they are over...No "they" aren't over. Titus is over. Darren Young is about as "over" as a school bus fire. Them losing could lead to a nasty breakup and the Titus push that we need.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Caliber_Winfield_69420BoobiesDecember 11, 2012 at 9:38 AM

    How was Ross a dick?

    ReplyDelete
  100. Nope, sometimes they are just quoting popular interweb Memes

    http://cdn.memegenerator.net/instances/400x/26008310.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  101. Jesse Baker does not approve.

    ReplyDelete
  102. Your mother would but she's busy.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Caliber_Winfield_69420BoobiesDecember 11, 2012 at 9:48 AM

    Wait, so were you not being a douche towards me? If you weren't, I apologize. If you were, then...well, you've got a serious downvote in your future.

    ReplyDelete
  104. Agreed. If a McMahon's not behind it, you don't get the job. Also suitable, HHH or Rikishi.

    ReplyDelete
  105. I don't think they ever said where in Jersey it was, so I took a shot.

    ReplyDelete
  106. "Why's isn't he being pushed, Dad?"
    "Because we have to punish him for getting over on his own."
    "He didn't do anything wrong."
    "Because he's the hero the BoD deserves, but not the one it needs right now. So they'll bury him. Because he can take it. Because he's not our hero. He's a silent guardian, a washrag protector. A black knight."

    ReplyDelete
  107. Only thing I liked about this show was Miz's suit jacket. I'll take the hits... I'd wear that...

    ReplyDelete
  108. He cheated on Rachel, and he never owned up to it. Also, after bitching out Joey about having feelings for Rachel, he goes and steals Joey's woman.


    And don't give me that "THEY WERE ON A BREAK" line either!

    ReplyDelete
  109. They should co-promote with AAA and hope to touch on the Latino fan base or try to rent the other 3/4 to TupperwareMania

    ReplyDelete
  110. I'm not going to lie, I would mark hard for Big Johnny being the leader of the Shield.

    ReplyDelete
  111. I know I may get downvoted here, but add me to the guys that do not understand what people see in Ambrose's promos. I even went and watched some of his old ones. Maybe we're just so starved for people with charisma that someone who shows even a small iota of it is the new BOD savior. I think Reigns will be the breakout one as well.

    ReplyDelete
  112. The ironic thing would be the implication that Johnny Ace suddenly has an eye for talent.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Looks aren't everything, just ask Mason Ryan. Pedigree isn't everything, just ask Manu, Ted DiBiase Jr. and Michael McGilliwhatever.

    ReplyDelete
  114. With Cesaro, they keep echoing his "no one from the US can beat me" deal.

    So.... who gets the triumphant victory upon returning? Christian? Maybe a shot in the dark and they push Tyson Kidd?

    ReplyDelete
  115. We need good tag teams though. They need to stay together for a year or two first because they are awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  116. They're not 100%. But look + pedigree is a huge advantage.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Lol who's down voting this. Did you see how many empty seats they are gonna have??? Can't they book a smaller venue. Look TNA defenders, I watch Impact and buy ppv's to support TNA because I want there to be a 2nd major wrestling company, but shit like that is super bush league.

    ReplyDelete
  118. He is suited to play a face in the ring for sure. My question is, with all the TV writers on the payroll, can't they give him a an actual face turn angle to get him over? And maybe write him some better lines?

    ReplyDelete
  119. Newark. Hometown (I was there last night), Yes, they need to end 3-hour Raws. It can be more tedious watching it live than on TV. The Kofi vs. Cesaro match sealed it for me, my friends, and the people around us who were getting restless going "Why is this match still dragging along this long?"

    ReplyDelete
  120. Cena should just go back to Zack Ryder again. They got each other, man.

    ReplyDelete
  121. I take it by all the upvotes, this joke went over everyone's head. A giant *whoosh* for everyone!

    ReplyDelete
  122. Miek was comic relief, and Elloe was the team jump-off.

    ReplyDelete
  123. RAW was in Newark last night, not East Rutherford.

    ReplyDelete
  124. I reminded me of the tuxedo Jim Carrey wore in Dumb and Dumber.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Hasn't written enough soap operas.

    ReplyDelete
  126. With our luck as soon as he walks into RAW next week he'll get kidnapped and his heart stolen.

    ReplyDelete
  127. "Made in the USA" Jack Swagger.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Did you pick 2 Canadians on purpose?

    ReplyDelete
  129. Exactly, where is the sense in hiring a 60.000+ STADIUM for a 4.000 seating plan which will most likely draw about 10.000 - 11.000 PPV buys.

    ReplyDelete
  130. It's not even super bush league as much as it's super dumb. Who ever runs their accounting department is probably shaking their head in disgust.

    ReplyDelete
  131. I picked two non-US people on purpose. I thought about adding Santino, but he's already lost that feud. Sure there are other people like Ezekiel Jackson, and Yoshi Tatsu, but aside from Justin Gabriel, A) anyone else is a heel and B), these are the only people the Universe would care about (Sin Cara's tied up with Rey for the time being; Sheamus is "above" it, etc.).

    ReplyDelete
  132. Exactly, he was perfectly free to do what he liked. In his shoes, I wouldn't have done anything that same exact night, but if a girlfriend says "We should take a break from us", that means I'm not bound to her any more.

    ReplyDelete
  133. Nope. Just playing off a meme that I find disproportionately funny...

    ReplyDelete
  134. BUT WHAT ABOUT THE 3MB STATE OF THE WWE ADDRESS?!?

    ReplyDelete
  135. Caliber_Winfield_69420BoobiesDecember 11, 2012 at 12:40 PM

    My apologies then, Mr. 1978. Well played.

    ReplyDelete
  136. He's terrible in general.

    ReplyDelete
  137. Personally, if they are going to do the AJ Cena storyline, why not make Cena a henpecked boyfriend? AJ is constantly complaining about something going on in the lockerroom or some travel problem or some book she is reading. Everytime Cena opens his mouth, he gets into trouble. If Cena doesn't say anything, AJ says "You never talk to me anymore." Since he can't be the alpha in the relationship, he ends up taking it out on competition. Instead of dialing it up to 10, dial back the campiness to to 5-6. He becomes like a male Elizabeth with AJ more like a female Macho Man with the physical roles reversed.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Caliber_Winfield_69420BoobiesDecember 11, 2012 at 12:53 PM

    Honestly, what Ross did was a bit of a dick move. Because even if they had officially, 100% broken up, to sleep with someone that soon is still mean. But he NEVER would have, had the following not gone down...

    Rachel was FAR worse, and the whole ordeal is 100% her fault.

    Since day one, their fights had been about Mark. Ross is a guy, who's smart enough to know that a guy never wants to just be friends with a woman. For some reason, women can't grasp that. Why, I don't know. Anyway, so it comes to a boiling point, and they break up. Then WHO does she let come over?! Mark! The absolute last person on Earth that should be there. That was inexcusable on her part. Then a few episodes later, Mark admits he's always had a thing for her, and asks her out. Does Ross EVER get vindication for this great reveal? Does Rachel ever apologize? Nope.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Or elvy is back and he brought some friends. Don't mock tna or you will get the wrath of the down vote.

    ReplyDelete
  140. I love that there will be more empty seats than ppv buys

    ReplyDelete
  141. This guy gets it

    ReplyDelete
  142. Down vote sebastiaan if you think this is fiscally responsible for tna

    ReplyDelete
  143. Haters gonna hate. They might as well hold a Home and Garden show on the other side... probably draw more.


    The HOME AND GARDEN SHOW.... Stay for TNA LOCKDOWN.... PLEASE!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  144. I see you've been following Jesse's work.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Domestic abuse is (almost) never funny, but I think the image of Cena changing his outfit to long-sleeved shirts and sunglasses to cover up the bruises would be fucking hilarious. But I'm a sick bastard, so whatever.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Yeah, I know, but he actually looks the part, which is pretty fucking amazing.

    ReplyDelete
  147. I don't really follow body-building, I don't even to go to gym's, I usually do bodyweight stuff in parks and such.

    ReplyDelete
  148. ...alright I'll give you that.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Uh, actually it does. This shit is entirely subjective, so what I say is completely true. He is pandering. He might not be pandering in your OPINION, but in my OPINION (because that's what they all are) he is.

    ReplyDelete
  150. I'll stop calling you motherfuckers if you stop having carnal relations with your moms.


    And there's a difference between inspiration and theft. He's using the exact same vocal inflections as Ledger did, he's cutting the found footage promos that Joker did, he's using the same philosophical/moral villain schtick Joker used. In the hip-hop world that's called biting, and it's not okay.


    Seriously, the only reason you're all blowing your loads over this is because every smark wanted a Joker gimmick and Ambrose is finally fulfilling all your fantasies. That is the definition of pandering.

    ReplyDelete
  151. I was actually going more for "middle-aged, ballless husband" rather than "250 lb professional wrestler getting beat up by 118 lb woman," but 6 of one....

    ReplyDelete
  152. Actually an underdog babyface that replaced cynicism and world-weariness for up-beat optimism would be pretty fucking cool.

    ReplyDelete
  153. I don't get the manic, gibbering insanity out of Ambrose. He's not a loose cannon, he's just fucking evil.

    ReplyDelete
  154. Yeah, look at Orton.

    ReplyDelete
  155. And? Do you disagree? I like the movie, I liked the performance, that doesn't mean I want to see somebody do their cheap imitation of it on national television.


    It's like that one kid in high school who quoted Eminem lyrics to make them sound deep or scary or something.

    ReplyDelete
  156. I'm pretty sure there's a horde of people who just downvote things. There are more downvotes than regular posters.

    ReplyDelete
  157. One major problem with that, Titus can't work.

    ReplyDelete
  158. I got my Joker fix from Sting, thank you very much.


    And Doink the Clown.

    ReplyDelete
  159. Never got how he became a talent guy. He was always a finish/booking guy and a pretty good one.

    ReplyDelete
  160. I'm called motherfucker because I stole my mother's week's pay while she was sleeping. You know, I fucked her over.

    ReplyDelete
  161. You know...I was gonna bring that up myself, but to his credit those 2 guys pulled off the angle pretty well.


    And the payoff was an absolute monster, which helps.

    ReplyDelete
  162. "I'll stop calling you motherfuckers if you stop having carnal relations with your moms."


    Immaturity wasn't lost with you. Bravo.

    ReplyDelete
  163. FWIW, when Ziggler was on commentary he specifically pointed out how it was an INJUSTICE that Cena gets another shot at the briefcase. Then lo and behold the Shield shows up. That was some middling to decent foreshadowing of Ziggler being the leader.

    ReplyDelete
  164. SHITTAY LORRUPP-A!

    ReplyDelete
  165. The downvotes are hilarious. I LIKE TNA and that's just pathetic.

    ReplyDelete
  166. Don't ever stop that.

    ReplyDelete
  167. I could believe that if only because Cena the character would never fight back (nowadays anyway, I'm pretty sure he FU'd Lita and other women in the past).

    ReplyDelete
  168. I know it's one of those things that's supposed to make me turn in my smark card because we're not supposed to like it but as a weight lifter, I LOVE when they go into specifics about different guys' routines and I love figuring on how, kayfabe, they would factor into their in ring abilities. Like with Cesaro, if he only uses free weights, that maxes out his stabilizers, which legit would explain how someone with a lean build and trim muscle mass could lift someone like Brodus safely.

    ReplyDelete
  169. I think there is Joker influence there, for sure, but the original crux of his character when he was still Jon Moxley was that he was a dirty "Street Dog" scumbag kind of guy, and that reflected in his nihilistic attitude. Really cool shit. Either way the dude is good.

    ReplyDelete
  170. If Otunga isn't going to use the coffee gimmick he needs to give it back to Cesaro. That shit was awesome, especially when he would cut an angry promo because he didn't have his fix.

    ReplyDelete
  171. He's Samoan. He won't have "the look" forever. That boy has diabetes in his future whether he likes it or not.

    ReplyDelete
  172. He can work, he's just got pretty meat & potatoes offense. Which isn't a bad thing, and will actually serve him well in WWE since he won't look like "another indie guy".

    ReplyDelete
  173. Maybe it's a commentary on how Linda was pre- kids?

    ReplyDelete
  174. And that play's into the question I've always wondered. Why is Miz hated by so many of his colleagues(hated is strong, but looked down upon). Sure he did the Real World, but he was fresh out of college, stupid, and probably didn't think he was ever gonna step foot in WWE. If you went back in time and told the Miz in 2000 that in 6 years you'll be in WWE, he probably wouldn't believe it.
    And it's not like he entered the company and got pushed straight to the moon, he worked his way up to the top. By all means I'm not that huge of a Miz fan but I can respect his work ethic.

    ReplyDelete
  175. Ryan Murphy's original reply said "Rey is American. Racist."

    I was talking about why Sin Cara couldn't be the non-US guy, since he's currently tied up with Rey. I said nothing about Rey being in the picture aside from that.

    ReplyDelete
  176. Exactly. Based on real life I think women know damn well their male friend wants them, but like they attention, so they try to innocently say they're just friends to make it all seem okay because technically nothing has happened to make them more than friends.

    ReplyDelete
  177. Yup, somebodies butthole is hurting.

    ReplyDelete
  178. So...he's a guy that doesn't believe in anything or anybody? That...is Joker's character. That's his entire thing.


    I'm not saying Jon Moxley isn't talented, I do think he has charisma, but his gimmick isn't original and it panders to comic book nerds.

    ReplyDelete
  179. I think your idea would probably get more traction in PG WWE...

    ReplyDelete
  180. While I agree, that she's overexposed. The draw part is debatable considering that the pops she gets far exceed any of the other divas.

    ReplyDelete
  181. "so what I say is completely true." In your opinion.

    ReplyDelete
  182. So strange. I don't think the Alamodome is really though of as a high rent, primo stadium these days, but you still gotta think it would still be incredibly expensive to rent out given the size. Maybe someone owed Dixie a favor or something and they got a cut rate deal or something?



    I just don't really see the point. I guess they can always expand the seating chart if they sell more tickets, but it sure doesn't make a lot of sense since they don't seem to be the hot ticket in town. WCW would do that for many of their dome shows -- set it up for 20k and scale it up to 30k or 40k as the ticket sales came in. It doesn't make a lot of sense when you aren't hot though -- they did something similar in New Orleans in the late 1980s, running about 4k paid fans in the Superdome.

    ReplyDelete
  183. I wish I could upvote this twice. Once for the original comment, and again for the edit

    ReplyDelete
  184. Well, yeah, they could absolutely do that. But this is Vince we're talking about.

    ReplyDelete
  185. Yeah some guy just ripping off ledger would be pathetic for sure. But I don't think that's what he's doing. Maybe he took a little of the timimg but it's not like he's doing lines from the movie

    ReplyDelete
  186. Mine? lol, nice try deflecting the fact that you're acting like a little douche. Grow up.

    ReplyDelete