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Undertaker returns after all

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  1. Man, if I was at some random house show and THE UNDERTAKER came back unexpectedly, I probably would've passed out about 20 times in a row.

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  2. There it is. Punk's jobbing on Monday.

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  3. Bleh. I'm so over The Undertaker. I'd be happiest if he just made his entrance, tombstoned a random jobber, and walked to the back.

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  4. Steve Austin would be a bigger surprise. Seriously, it's been 10 years Steve, the fans want mine more match.MAKE IT HAPPEN!

    But yeah, hopefully it went well. There are some photos on twitter and Taker looks to be in great shape

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  5. That's the palest tag team on the planet.

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  6. That must have been an awesome surprise for the fans in attendance. I really hope we get a Taker match at Mania, and this seems to seal that deal.

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  7. That's exactly the first thing that came to my mind when I read this.

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  8. So bizarre that they would 'spoil' the surprise of Taker's return for Monday but then again, maybe Taker wanted a chance to work out some ring rust so close to home. Also, that house show crowd got an experience they'll never forget. This is the wrestling equivalent of being at some small club in Liverpool at an open mic night and Paul McCartney pops in to try some new songs.

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  9. *Arrive*
    *Saunter*
    *Saunter*
    *Saunter*

    *Saunter*
    *Saunter*
    *Saunter*
    *Stare*
    *Stare*
    *Stare*
    *Stare*
    *Turn On Lights*
    *Stare*
    *Stare*
    *Stare*
    *Stare*
    *Take Off Hat*
    *Stare*
    *Stare*
    *Stare*
    *Remove Coat*
    *Stare*
    *Stare*
    *Tombstone*
    *Kneel*
    *Pose*
    *Hold Pose*
    *Hold Pose*
    *Hold Pose*
    *Leave.......Slowly*

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  10. This would be my dignified reaction: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uTA2fxOedxo

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  11. WWE Did You Know?
    That Triple Threat everybody wanted at Mania isnt going to happen...

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  12. I'm rooting for a swerve. Undertaker/Lesnar, anyone?

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  13. The only way I can justify this is if they have the match consist of Punk beating Undertaker in about a minute then about 10-20 minutes of the Undertaker being made into Punk's bitch, with Punk beating Undertaker up and basically brutalizing him and basically bringing about the utter end of the Undertaker, as far as said match being his final match EVER and him going out like a bitch, so Punk can get the street cred of being the guy who not only beat Undertaker, but basically retiring him for good and proving his utter dominance over him by the way he beat him/brutalized him so badly that he can never wrestle again.

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  14. Undertaker couldnt handle that kind of offense anymore, probably more likely he would get Khali....

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  15. Or they can have Undertaker cost Cena the match and then do a thing where Undertaker basically asks Punk if he wants a REAL challenge, IE him vs Punk as the main event at Wrestlemania.

    That way, there is the angle of Undertaker coming back and denying Rock the chance to main event AND lets Punk save face, giving up his chance to get his rematch against the Rock in order to (successfully) end the Undertaker's streak. Cena beating Rock gets jetisoned to the midcard so Punk can win the Wrestlemania main event and end the streak, retiring Undertaker and basically becoming the top guy once and for all off of the fact that he did what NO ONE has ever done, and forever retired the Undertaker. Which Punk can then also rub into Cena's face AND intensify his feud with Vince/HHH, as Vince and HHH are pissed the fuck off that Punk managed to do what Vince and HH could never do: get rid of the Undertaker once and for all.

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  16. Holy shit.

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  17. Well, looks like we're getting that Miz/Taker match my sources told me about!

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  18. I dont even think this would be possible in a video game.

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  19. Jesus. I'm invoking Poe's Law here. You cannot be serious. I refuse to believe you're not taking the piss. No one could be that much of a deluded fanboy. Fuck.

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  20. Are your sources The Fuj and jobber123?

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  21. So, an old guy that should've retired a long time ago who was never that good in the first place and whose only claim to fame was being around of a pack of influential/talented people showed up?

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  22. It's the 20th anniversary of Wrestlemania IX. Obviously they want to recreate the magic of Undertaker vs Giant Gonzales by having Undertaker vs Great Khali.

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  23. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KEydDUnzi-4

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  24. Have you seen any Undertaker matches since like 1993? Because it doesn't sound like it. Taker's one of the best big men ever in WWE and a true legend. And he's had some of the best WM matches of the last several years.

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  25. I didn't want it. I hate triple threats. And that would only ensure another Cena/Rock match in the future.

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  26. But who's paying Kane to do their dirty work?

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  27. You must be new here.

    Mr. Stauber, this is Mr. Baker. Mr. Baker has a near endless supply of thoughts like this. Either he is deadly serious or he is one of the best performance artists in the history of the internet. Enjoy the work of this mad genius.

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  28. Someone gets 10 upvotes for just saying holy shit, you know Jesse Baker is involved.

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  29. Never go full Dougie.

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  30. And it would be worth every penny.

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  31. Oh, I've been here before, but this topic...these posts. No one man could be this crazy kooky bananas except by doing it on purpose.

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  32. If I would have been there, I would have had 4 heart attacks. At least.

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  33. The only way I'm now not OK with Punk/Rock/Cena not happening is if Punk tries to screw Cena tomorrow night, lights go off and everyone thinks it's Shield, and Taker appears instead to serve his own brand of justice.

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  34. I've talked to marks in the Sportatorium. There were at least a hundred guys there who were that crazy kooky bananas, and I don't think they were doing it on purpose.

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  35. Jesse Baker is clearly one of those people that will be described on the news as a quiet guy, kept mostly to himself.

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  36. Thorazine. You need it.

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  37. The only logical explanation is that the WM29 main event is now UT vs Rhodes Scholars, possibly in a Goldust-on-a-pole match

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  38. Giving Punk the option of winning the WWE title back OR ending the streak at Wrestlemania, huh? Not a bad idea, but there probably is a simpler way to do it.

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  39. There will be a Cena/Rock match in the future. This will be the WWE's Pacquiao/Marquez.

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  40. I still hoping for Undertaker/Tamina Snuka, but they may save that magic for Wrestlemania XXX.

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  41. Sounds like CM Punk is going to be "made famous" after all.

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  42. I think you care about wrestling way too much, man.

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  43. Off-topic, watching '98 RAW with Edge's first promos. It's truly amazing that Trent Reznor of Nine Inch Nails never went after the WWF.


    Promos are just someone reading out the lyrics to 'Mister Self Destruct' from 'The Downward Spiral', verbatim, over some camcorder footage of Edge walking about a bit. You tried that today, you'd be exposed over Twitter in 2 minutes.

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  44. I just got more exited for Wrestlemania. CM Punk, you will Rest In Piece.

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  45. Never thought of it like that. I'd prefer it ended here as the Rock nostalgia train has passed me by

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  46. He was pretty bad til about 05 actually with some occasional good matches thrown in there

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  47. I can't really get behind this until I see a studio interview with just Phil and Mark. With Mark explaining how he can only work one big angle a year. And Phil can tell us the roster's a little thin, so outside of shoehorning into the Second in A Lifetime match, this was the next best spot for him.

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  48. Real names? It's a shoot brother!

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  49. I've got a bad feeling miz is gonna go over cesaro at wm.

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  50. Not that I think he's fat, but I made myself laugh with this.

    BELLY ROLLING ROLLING ROLLING
    BELLY ROLLING ROLLING ROLLING
    KEEP ON ROLLING, FATTY...

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  51. Punk couldn't beat Undertaker with an RPG!

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  52. Punk couldn't beat Taker clean if he set off a nuclear explosion.

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  53. 98 Trent Reznor was in a cabin trying to drink himself to death, so I can see how he missed it.


    Edge's finisher was even called the Downward Spiral.

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  54. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAD7L_GWkb0

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  55. Caliber_Winfield_69420BoobiesFebruary 24, 2013 at 10:28 AM

    Let's be honest, that's probably gonna happen anyway. Undertaker or no Undertaker.

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  56. Caliber_Winfield_69420BoobiesFebruary 24, 2013 at 10:30 AM

    Man, I bet you get chicks SO wet.

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  57. I don't ever vote posts up but I did for this one because that was tremendous.

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  58. The wit on this guy. You should write for Cracked.

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  59. I'm not Meltzer, I can't reveal my sources.

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  60. We're not talking about Triple H here.

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  61. That very rare achievement where every word of a post is wrong in TWO different ways. Congrats?

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  62. He might have had the worst debut match of any big star. He ends up hitting one of the Los Boriquas with a plancha to the outside and damn near paralyzing the guy.

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  63. I don't know... that's like 7000 pennies!

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  64. This is a real good job and makes great sense (establishing that Shield has made their attacks when the lights go off), but they need to come up with a reason why Undertaker would care about Cena....or Punk....or Rock.

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  65. If you're going to claim Undertaker was 'never that good', I think you're obliged to tell us which big men you think WERE that good.

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  66. So let me get this straight:

    The Undertaker, a man approaching 50, who only wrestles once a year because he's marketed as *the* special attraction, and whose body is so broken down there's doubt that even an annual appearance is possible...

    ...will do a house show, unannounced...


    ...while our WWE champion, who is 7 years younger, (for the most part) is in the peak of his physical conditioning, and who's slated to headline the biggest show of the year against the biggest start of the past 10 years...


    ...won't.


    OK then.

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  67. TAFKA Goldust would have approved that, and even offered a suggestion as to how he'd be placed on the pole...

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  68. Good to know Heenan's sources still have work after all these years!

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  69. Undertaker clearly did this as a practice run, you think WWE would want him returning on a house show in regular circumstances? No.


    To stay a 'special attraction' that means the less shows you do the better, otherwise it doesn't become 'special'. The Rock also unlike the Undertaker has a ridiculous schedule of juggling wrestling and making movies, the dudes got to have rest at some point!

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  70. I just got less excited as not only does Punk not headline WM, he gets to job clean 3 PPV's in a row.

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  71. To stay a 'special attraction' that means the less shows you do the
    better, otherwise it doesn't become 'special'.


    That's the point. Even 4the guy whose whole thing is not to be seen very often will be seen, while the Rock fits things into his schedule. How nice of him,

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  72. HowmuchdoesthisguyweighFebruary 24, 2013 at 1:57 PM

    My .02 on Taker.... The guy more than any has earned the right to wrestle once a year. He entered WWE in 1990. He could of retired and lived comfortably at least a decade ago. He is up there with Flair in terms of universal love and respect of peers. It would be one thing if he showed up as the lazy/unmotivated Undertaker of 2000-2003. He has evolved his style pretty consistently and WANTS doesn't NEED to have one of the best matches each year.

    He can pretty much handpick who he gets in the ring with and he deserves that honor. CM Punk will be better for having a match with the deadman. Win or lose.

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  73. If Rock doesn't have the time to do it, they shouldn't have put the belt on him.

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  74. Unless Undertaker turns out to be a bigger fan of Final Fantasy than we expected.

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  75. Yes but then cena can't get win back and get the title

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  76. Jesse Baker knows how to get guys over....

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  77. Rock doesn't have to come back. He did this because he loves it. Considering the box office take of his movies, it's not like Rock needs the money.



    It's the opposite, WWE NEEDS the Rock.

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  78. That's a perfect 10!

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  79. I have more than a 1:2 like to dislike ratio, still doing good.

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  80. I don't like big wrestlers. They pretty much all suck.

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  81. If I had 35 minutes at WrestleMania with Shawn I to could have good matches.

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  82. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k_QDGdbg-QQ&feature=related

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  83. Taker jobbed to Khali, that should be enough good will right there.

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  84. I think Taker is probably just as overrated. Some of these guys stick around so long the nostalgia factor kicks in. I mean there came a time when we all hated Hogan but the kid in all of us was marking out for him in the WM 18 match.


    I was a big fan of Taker's original run, when he turned face he began to lose me. I liked some of his promo work during the American Badass shit, but I hated the actual gimmick and matches. He did seem to improve with age though.

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  85. If Miz wins, he becomes a jobber and Cesaro moves on to bigger and better things. Sometimes you win when you lose....

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  86. Jesse Baker is the guy Vince Russo wants to be when he grows up...

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  87. Because they never let him hold the spinner belt......

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  88. Maybe Teddy Long will turn it into a tag match playa...

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  89. I think Rock has done a better job this time around than the last two WMs.

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  90. I think the real reason folks dont want these rematches is because of the predictable booking that everyone feels will be in place.


    WWE wants to be taken seriously like the NFL, well the favorite doesn't always win. If WWE booked that first Pats/Giants SB, the Pats win. It's no fun when you can always predict the winners of the main event programs.



    Who knows, maybe they surprise us like WM 2000, I doubt it.

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  91. If it'd be part of an angle, it would've been a badass way to debut a guy.

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  92. Rumor has it he will be coming back with McCool for a mixed tag match against Punk and Snuka's daughter....

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  93. And Rock singlehandedly increases the Wrestlemania buyrates, while Undertaker does not. Compare Mania 26's buyrate (headlined by Taker vs HBK) vs just that of Mania 27, headlined by Rock JUST HANGING OUT, nevermind last year when Rock actually wrestled. It's no comparison: Rock means more to the WWE than Undertaker does.


    I dunno, I just think its insane for anyone to complain about Rock not doing house shows. He's a legit movie star with an insane schedule. Anything the Rock does right now, whether its TV or PPVs, is more beneficial to the wrestling industry than it is to Rock's bottom line. If someone wants to complain that Rock's act is tired or that his presence makes the product less entertaining to you, then that's an opinion that could be argued. But to get on him for not doing enough when he really needn't be bothering with wrestling at all, that just seems ridiculous to me.

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  94. Actually this entire run has been very nice of Rock to WWE. I ask honestly: what did you expect out of The Rock? Did you want him to wrestle a full house show schedule? To stop making movies and become a fulltime pro wrestler again? I honestly am not trying to sound like a dick. I just personally can't believe that Rock is appearing and wrestling as much as he is, and I'm curious to know what the people who are upset with him are upset with him for.

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  95. Well you just ruined my day!

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  96. A guy so hated at the BoD that he can get Dougie 27 upvotes...

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  97. HOLLA HOLLA HOLLA

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  98. That could be Swaggers theme song.

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  99. Not sure how people dont get this. The Rock is a busy successful guy, he really doesnt need to do this. He is giving back, Im not so sure how many others would if in the same spot.

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  100. Yet mar solo still down voted it. Because he's a fat little girl.

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  101. Only if Paul brings back Michael to deal with Phil and distracts Mark with Glen!

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  102. I remember seeing it at the time. Edge fucked wid da Jesus.

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  103. At least Punk could get out of doing the job...

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  104. Someone gets 10 upvotes for just reacting to someone saying holy shit, you know Jesse Baker is involved.

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  105. Can we get this printed on a shirt?

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  106. I'd rather have Punk do the job in a one on one match with the Undertaker rather than having Michelle McCool pin Tamina to extend the Streak.

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  107. He also jobbed to Kozlov. I think this proves my point. Taker has made zero stars, and I honestly don't think he ever tried.

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  108. I think he helped make Mankind and he also helped Brock too. He also put Stone Cold over a few times.



    Not a huge Taker fan but i cant go with revisionist history here. The guy helped some get over.

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  109. So would I, I dont even want the diva's on the card. With what they have in that Diva division, they might as well just put it out to pasture and bring back the Hardcore title instead.

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  110. The Rock doesnt have to do shit for WWE, he owes em nothing. Who gives a shit that he isnt doing house shows? I know I sure dont.

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  111. Sorry, but 27's buyrate increase was totally the Miz's doing.


    He's a main eventer, you know?

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  112. You mean he's doing this for free??


    If so, I have a whole new level of respect for The Rock.


    If not, my level of respect remains exactly where it is.

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  113. NOW HOLD ON PLAYA! Seems that we have two champions who can't wait to get it on! So we gonna have ourselves a tag match RIGHT NOW!


    It's gonna be JOHN CENA...and KAITLYN! Versus THE ROCK...and AJ! In the FIRST EVER mixed tag team WRESTLEMANIA MAIN EVENT!


    HOLLA HOLLA HOLLA!

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  114. Your level of resp... IT DOESNT MATTER WHERE YOUR LEVEL OF RESPECT IS...

    Doing it for Free? Nope, but I bet this is doing a lot more for WWE than it is for him.


    This three year arc is basically a storyline to pass the touch to
    Cena. Id love to see the day when Taker comes back and passes a torch......

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  115. Does Miz-Taker close the show this year?

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  116. I think that he and The Berzerker are the only two guys to ever debut in WWF with countout victories.

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  117. Only if it's a Miz TV segment

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  118. What drugs are you on?

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  119. Foley made himself.

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  120. Yet again, Brock, and Stone Cold didn't need to be put over, and Foley made himself.

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  121. I guess you are right about Taker and the rest of the world is wrong.



    Even Foley in his book says how important Taker was in the HIAC match that finally made Foley a star.

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  122. They're called opinions. And yes, I do have them.

    And I got 8 likes, so...I'm not completely alone in my thinking.

    Foley is a nice guy and I'm sure he likes Taker a lot. Doesn't mean that Taker made him.



    If Foley had taken the bumps he did facing Billy Gunn, Foley would still be God.

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  123. Its cool to have an opinion but it stinks when facts come into play...

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