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Book Review: Wrestling Reality: The Life and Mind of Chris Kanyon, Wrestling's Gay Superstar.






Chris Kanyon was a lot of things. He was a wrestler. He was a physical therapist. He was a wrestling trainer. He was manic depressive. What most remember about him, though, was one distinct fact: Chris Kanyon was gay.


Chris Klucsartis was born to parents of varying Russian descents and spent his childhood living in Sunnyside, Queens, New York. In many ways, he had what you could call a typical childhood: baseball, hockey, all the shenanigans and mischief that lend themselves to young boys, and a growing love of pro wrestling. Indeed, growing up in New York City, Chris gravitated towards wrestling in the form of the WWF. Wrestlers like Superfly Jimmy Snuka captured the attention of the young Chris. Soon, he and his friends were mimicking the very moves they saw on television in their local park. But what really was the tipping point for young Chris Klucsartis was a time when the NWA visited suburban New Jersey. He and his friends attended the event, landing great tickets. His Uncle chaperoned them, and he was your typical "Why do you guys like this? You know its fake, right?" kind of guy. Not one to likely be impressed by any goings-on in the squared circle. Well, on this night, Ric Flair was defending his NWA title against Ricky Steamboat. Steamboat and Flair had their normal great, tight match, and, after 29 intense minutes of action, they had Chris's Uncle enraptured, not to mention young Chris. It was at this juncture that Chris Kluscartis made up his young mind: He was going to be a pro wrestler, come hell or high water.

All of this reads like a primer in wrestling biographies: Boy falls for wrestling, sees it for the first time live, has epiphany, follows dream. It also reads like a typical childhood. Certainly, pro wrestling is a big part of most male childhoods. Chris Kluscartis, though, was leading anything but a typical male childhood. His world was shot off center by one realization he had at a very young age. From the time he was six or seven years old, when he found himself infatuated with a male friend of his older brother, Chris Kluscartis came to realize that he was gay. Heady stuff for a kid that age in 1970's New York. Add into this mix that Chris attended Parochial (Catholic) schools throughout his childhood, and it almost seemed an insurmountable cross to bear. Chris dealt with it in probably the best way he could short term, but would essentially ended up crushing any long term enjoyment in his tragic life: he hid it. He denied. He attempted to portray himself as the picture of heterosexual masculinity.

In short, Chris Kluscartis' life would never be easy.

While Chris was suppressing his natural urges, he found an outlet in professional wrestling. There is a great story in this book in which Chris and his friends attended WrestleMania IV. They witnessed wrestling history (and one of the most boring Mania's ever) when Randy Savage ascended the WWF ladder and became WWF Champion, beating Ted DiBiase in the finals of a 16 man title tournament. After the event, while staying in a hotel adjacent to the WrestleMania venue that year of Trump Plaza in Atlantic City, New Jersey, while his friends slept, Chris grew fidgety. He had the wrestling bug, and he had it BAD. He left the comfort of his hotel confines and stumbled back over to Trump Plaza. To his astonishment, he found a door ajar, and wandered the labyrinth of corridors until he found himself gobsmacked with astonishment at the site he had stumbled upon: He had come to the ringside area where the event had been held, and nothing, not the ring, not the ring and rafter bunting, NOTHING had been removed yet. He walked that WrestleMania aisle (which, if you recall, was a very long affair with many steps) and found himself smack dab in the middle of the ring where Savage had just made wrestling history. He bounced around the ring for a few minutes, then came to a realization: He needed a souvenir. Initially, he wanted to take the WrestleMania IV banner. The big one. If you remember WrestleMania IV or V, that Mania banner was massive. There was no way Chris could feasibly escape with that monstrosity. Instead, he formed a better plan. He took the top turnbuckle cover that Macho Man had leaped off of in the Main Event to dismiss The Million Dollar Man. Christ, what a memory, what a fantastic piece of wrestling related memorabilia. He hightailed it back to his hotel room, and, come sunrise, showed off his new bounty to his friends.

All was not sunshine and smiles, though. Chris graduated High School and chose to attend the University of Buffalo. He was still gay, and HEAVILY closeted. The lengths he went to to conceal his homosexuality were nothing short of extraordinary. He rationalized that he needed to have sex with a woman, and he picked a winner. After several aborted attempts with various willing co-eds, which resulted in...um...results varying from straight denials to difficulties trying to use a condom (think we've all been there) to premature ejaculation (KNOW every man has been there). Once again, add in the gay dilemma and that period must have been excruciatingly agonizing for a young man. Finally, Chris was turned on (and not in a good way for him) to a willing young co-ed from a different, nearby college. She was, what we call in some circles, a slam pig. I know, not a great term, but, apparently this girl was willing to spread her legs for dudes sight unseen. Chris stumbled through the process, and eventually finished the deed. However, there was an unforeseen side effect. Well, not unforeseen to anyone above college age. The girl who took Chris's virginity had given him something in return: crabs. The gift that keeps on giving. Understand why I called her a slam pig now?

Chris studied physical therapy while at U of Buff, a major he figured would let him get close to pro wrestling. It was a friend of his, however, that led him to the promised land of wrestling training. Chris wanted to attend either Chris Adams or, I am guessing, the Owens (or Barr's) camp in Oregon, but was told in no uncertain terms to finish college and stay away from this "Godforsaken business." Chris was dismayed, but certainly not deterred. One day, though, a friend of Chris's expressed his desire to acquire an actual wrestling ring. Naturally, huge fan Chris was instantly in on the idea. Chris was a subscriber to the old sports periodical, "The National Sports Daily." Every Friday, there was a wrestling column authored by a certain gentleman named Dave Meltzer. (Honestly, this little blurb is my favorite part of the book. I have been an avid sports fan since, well, basically, infancy. My dad, no slouch himself with sports, started buying me "The National" daily. I loved it, sopped all the information it provided like a sponge. It was the wrestling stuff I most enjoyed, but I was a total mark at the time this publication was dispensed. It always had great stuff that I used to wow my elementary school friends. One instance had me winning a bet with a 4th grader because I had read that Mr. Perfect had won back the IC title from Kerry Von Erich. Another had me correctly predicting that Mean Mark Callous would be Ted DiBiase's mystery partner at Survivor Series 1990. No one believed me because Callous' new character was such a departure from his WCW nom: Undertaker.) But it was a visit to the radio studios of John Arezzi, a New York radio jock who specialized in pro wrestling speculation and rumors, that landed them the opportunity to secure a wrestling ring. A guy, presumably an aspiring wrestler, in Arezzi's waiting room turned Chris and friend to a man named Pete McKay, who had a wrestling ring available. Chris and his friend found Pete's gym, Gladiator Gym in Manhattan, but it wasn't a ring they secured. Seeing Chris's childlike enthusiasm once he stepped through the ropes, Pete McKay offered to train young Chris Kluscartis. Shit had just gotten real for Chris.

Chris trained with Pete, and seemingly was a natural.  So natural that Pete McKay thought Chris was a plant sent to spy on his school sent my Johnny Rodz. No one, he thought, could be this polished at this stage. Chris assured him he wasn't, and eventually graduated the school...without paying a single dollar.

Chris soon found himself in North Carolina, right after graduating college. He told his parents he went there to pursue a physical therapist position. While that was certainly a bit of the truth, it was far from the whole truth. North Carolina had a vibrant independent wrestling scene at that point, and that was truly where Chris wanted to be. He worked his day job as a physical therapist, and he loved that job, was gratified by it, especially working with stroke patients. But young Chris, by now renamed Chris Kanyon, was in North Cacalack for one reason: wrestling.

Chris had a few contacts in NC because he had become a subscriber to Meltzer's Wrestling Observer Newsletter. He found a contact, and that contact brought a man into Kanyon's life that would become his best friend: James Mitchell.

James Mitchell. What can you say about this guy? Literally, what can you say about this guy? He is a card carrying Satan worshiper and sexual deviant. I stand corrected. To call him a sexual deviant would be a disservice to sexual deviants. The man is off of his rocker, and PERFECTLY suited to the pro wrestling industry. One cute story in this book was a recounting by Kanyon of Mitchell, in his wrestling manager persona of the time, telling a black wrestler that he "felches" his dog. Mitchell meant fetch, but uttered felch. Felching is a weird sexual subgenre that I will allow the reader to follow up. Suffice to say, Mitchell made a mistake in speech, and was dying in hilarity backstage.

Kanyon and Mitchell worked for a brief time in Smokey Mountain Wrestling, run by Jim Cornette. Kanyon, in this book, pegs Cornette dead on as a total hothead. Supposedly, Rick Rubin, of Beastie Boys, Run-DMC and, more currently, Jay-Z's "99 Problems" was a financial backer of the promotion and wanted a mummy character. Mitchell managed it, and it was a disaster. Picture a wrestler covered in toilet paper that was rubbed in dirt, and you get the picture. Kanyon, at this point, was nothing more than cannon fodder, enhancement talent for SMW and WWF. Mitchell and Kanyon were eventually let go by SMW because of an altercation between Mitchell and Cornette. Kanyon was a victim of circumstance.

It was at this time Kanyon gave up on wrestling. For a brief time. He decided to take a physical therapist position in Connecticut and would shelve up with a childhood friend. While he was moving in with said friend, a box of his moving materials spilled to the ground, exposing some stag mags. Gay sex magazines. When confronted, Kanyon simply stated that Jim Mitchell put them there as a rib. Kanyon was still closeted, and still very, VERY scared of his secret leaking out. He blamed it on sexual...I don't know what to call James Mitchell...freak? There are no words for what James Mitchell was, and is. Don't believe me? YouTube (yeah, I used it as a verb) some of his shoot interviews. Whatever. Kanyon felt compelled to call Mitchell, who was one of the few privy to Kanyon's gay secret, to explain the situation. Mitchell could have given two fucks. When Kanyon's friend called Mitchell to confront him, Mitchell was concise: "Yeah, those were mine. I am a huge fag. Total fag." James Mitchell, ladies and gentleman!

Kanyon soon grew tired of the regular 9-5 grind, and found a nearby wrestling school. A great one. It was Afa the Samoan's school in Allentown, PA. He kept his ring rust off and met a lifelong friend: Billy Kidman. Together, the two toured Memphis and some other places, but fate would soon smile upon the two.

Fate was WCW. Kanyon, because of his 6'4" frame, was signed quicker than Kidman. Kanyon soon was settled into a groove as a jobber, while also helping to train lost souls at the WCW Power Plant. Jody Hamilton, the Assassin, Nick Patrick's father, rather grew to like young Kanyon, his abilities and his ability to train others. That was not the doorway to success for Chris Kanyon, though. The doorway was Diamond Dallas Page. Page, who lived next door to WCW puba Eric Bischoff, had some clout in the company. And Page liked Kanyon. Kanyon was soon pegged for what Bischoff, at the time, considered his greatest coup. Bischoff was hoping to capitalize on the Mortal Kombat, Street Fighter video game craze. He had devoted hours of study and resources into this venture, and had come up with characters mimicking the game. Kanyon initially was to have portrayed a character based on reptiles, but it was changed to a skull. Glacier, Mortis, Ernest Miller, Wrath: BLOOD RUNS COLD everyone. Widely panned as one of the worst wrestling gimmicks ever, there seemed to only be two saving graces: Wrath, due to his look and imposing demeanor, and Mortis, Kanyon, who provided the solid wrestling skills. Their push was hurt by the debut and success of another Bischoff creation of the time, the NWO. Kanyon proved he was a good wrestler with several solid matches facing untrained Glacier and Ernest Miller. With the NWO running wild, there was no hope for a mid card act like this.

This is where the book gets dicey. Kanyon was friends with DDP, and as long as that bond was there, Kanyon was never going to flounder. Granted, the NWO basically crushed the non-cruiserweight mid card of WCW for some years, Kanyon was given a stay of execution. He unmasked, became Kanyon, and came up with a decent catchphrase: "WHO BETTA THAN KANYON?!?"  Eventually, this led to a union with Page and Bam Bam Bigelow, who formed the "Jersey Triad." I personally loved this angle during the waning years of WCW, and still adore it to this day. I was too young to remember the glory years of the three man Freebirds, so this was as close as an approximation that I was likely to get in my formative years. They won the WCW Tag Team Titles, and any two of the three would be allowed to defend them (the Freebird rule).

Unfortunately, both WCW and Chris Kanyon, at this juncture, were coming apart at the seams. Chris was being torn asunder by both his closeted gayness and his undiagnosed manic depressive disorder. Adding to this toxic mix was the fact WCW was about to fold. Kanyon was dismayed and had no idea of what to do or who he really was. Unfortunately, something major was about to change that.

That something major was 9/11. Any American can tell you what they were doing in the hours leading up to the attack, what they were doing when the second plane hit, and what they did in the aftermath. For me, I used to love scaling tall things. Loved going to the summits of tall places; The Empire State Building, The aforementioned Twin Towers; The John Hancock Buildings, both in Chicago and Boston. Since that day, my asshole puckers everytime I see a view of a building from great height. Kanyon took it even worse than I did. His brother worked near the Trade Centers, and he was mortified (see what I did there) when he heard of the attacks. Luckily, Kanyon and fam were safe from the destruction caused by Al-Queada. Unfortunately, Chris Kanyon never truly recovered.

9/11 shocked Chris Kluscartis. Shocked him to a point he should have reached earlier, but never did. He finally came out of the closet to his family. Not to his wrestling family, just the family that matters. It was a tough moment for him, made even more unbearable when his father asked "Are You the Pitcher or the Catcher?" Woof. Imagine your old man asking that. Chris assured his dad that, with his 6'4" frame, he was the pitcher.

At that point, Chris was a valuable part of the WCW Alliance angle in WWF. The Alliance "MVP." Unfortunately, WWF, as the book puts it, and I also happen to believe, did not see his talent. Kanyon, for all the bullshit in his personal life, was better than most of the wrestlers who were retained in the WWF/WCW storyline. Kanyon should have had a bigger role. Unfortunately, he suffered a knee injury that put him out for a while.

It was during this while that Vince McMahon came up with an idea: an effeminate character for Kanyon. Kanyon did not like it upon his return for injury, but, hey, a guy has to make a living, right? But Vince, Vince McMahon, the promotional genius, the rajah of wrestling, well, he had a dense plan for Kanyon. By this point, Kanyon's homosexuality, while not announced, was fairly well known. And Vince "Master of Tact" McMahon decided to utilize it. He began with telling Kanyon to accentuate his already lispy voice. Uh. Huh. Kanyon told Vince that he wanted to portray a gay character with laurels, admitting his life to the man. And this is where the book turns towards the darkside.

Vince McMahon is a lot of things: business genius, wrestling guru. But a master at the subtlety of human behavior is not one of the saving graces of the man. MAN LIKE WOMAN, MAN PURSUE MAN, MAN CLUB OVER GIRL HEAD.  That is Vince. Pre mastadonian man. Vince did what Vince does: He fired Kanyon.

Kanyon never truly recovered from this shunning, Why should he of? Pat Patterson was RIGHT THERE. The problem was that Kanyon never came clean to his wrestling breathren. (That word has no spellcheck alternative and as a writer I am keeping it there because spellcheck is not infallible.)

Kanyon eventually came clean to his family. He admitted his true self. You would think that it would have solved all of his problems, but, no. Kanyon was as clear of a case as a manic depressive you are ever likely to see. You see, Kanyon was a mess. With the underlying problem of his homosexuality, he had missed out on the fact that he ALSO had a very hard and very real illness. A psychological illness.

With all that was plaguing Chris Klucsartis, it was a wonder he lived a successful life as long as he did. Chris constantly has suicide attempts throughout his life, which are detailed in the book, but he finally succeeded on April 2, 2010.

This book is more a celebration of a troubled man's life, but at the same time is a tragic coda. Chris Kanyon was an outstanding professional wrestler. But his demons overcame him, and, unfortunately, he became just another wrestling statistic.

Chris Kanyon was not just another wrestling statistic. He was a MAN. A good man. A homosexual man. And his pain, his process, should not be lost on anyone.

WHO BETTA THAN KANYON????????

Comments

  1. I think most people would probably remember that Kanyon killed himself.


    As for me, I have happier memories...


    OF RANDOM KANYON CUTTERS!!!

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  2. I definitely think of suicide first. The fact that he was gay is like 4th or 5th, somewhere after 'dude had a successful run', 'dude got thrown off of a cage', and 'huge arm gash/staph infection thingy'. I actually think of his TNA match as Chris K before I think, "hey, dude was gay, too".

    How can I say this gently? I don't understand people who feel sorry for themselves like this. Dude gets fired. Ok, come back stronger, bust your ass harder, be a man. You're gay. Whooptie-doo. I don't have the most normal sex life myself, I feel no shame. 9/11 deeply affected him? Huh? Wha? I respectfully just don't get it. Don't think I ever will..

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  3. Mental illness is rarely rational. Kinda...the defining trait of mental illness.

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  4. Really loved DDP's tribute to him.


    Seriously, Page has to be like...the greatest guy in wrestling. What a mensch.

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  5. People who have mental illnesses don't respond to things the way the rest of us do. Their brains just function completely differently and without medication/therapy they don't think or feel rationally. This was more than some guy feeling sorry for himself or being a little depressed. This was a man with serious mental issues that tragically caught up with him in the end.

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  6. Hmmm... this is very tough to read. It seems like the writer was being paid on a per
    comma basis.

    Also: "who lived next door to WCW puba Eric Bischoff" should be "poobah."

    "Unfortunately, something major was about to change that." is one of the most oddly phrased sentences I have ever read.

    "Any American can tell you what they were doing in the hours leading up to the attack" Since the attack started at approximately 8:30 am EST, most Americans were sleeping in the hours leading up it.

    "...breathren. (That word has no spellcheck alternative and as a writer I am keeping it there because spellcheck is not infallible.)" It's "brethren."

    "But his demons overcame him, and, unfortunately, he became just another wrestling statistic... Chris Kanyon was not just another wrestling statistic." Why write something only to immediately contradict yourself?

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  7. "Any American can tell you what they were doing in the hours leading up to the attack" Since the attack started at approximately 8:30 am EST, most Americans were sleeping in the hours leading up it.



    OMG...

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  8. 8:30 EST should be 8:30 EDT. I always get them backwards. My point stands though.

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  9. This was not your run of the mill book review....this was your run of the mill book review.

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  10. First thing I think of is the awesome WWF theme song. WHO BETTAH THAN KANYON!?

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  11. "Why should he of?" is what bugged me.

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  12. Always did like Kanyon. He was my 2nd or 3rd favorite wrestler named Chris.

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  13. I forgot the name of an author that suffered from an intense bipolar disorder and eventually did kill himself, but this post along with the 9/11 references made me remember his quote, which I'm paraphrasing:

    "There were people in the towers who jumped out of windows to avoid being burned alive. Did the fire make them fearless from the height? No. Plummeting to their certain death was merely preferable to being burned. The irrational fear inside of mentally ill peoples' minds is not unlike that fire; suicide is not a fate worse than living with it."

    Basically, if a man is willing to commit suicide, I'm not going to judge him for having his feelings hurt too often, or for taking a national disaster personally.

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  14. So... you're telling me there's a pro wrestler out of the closet, but still no pro football players?


    Shit.

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  15. "but bet your lucky stars we don't live in PARAGUAY"

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  16. I know. It drives me crazy because I can't stand him. I hope it comes out that he is a pedo or something.

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  17. Him being gay is like 5th thing that comes to mind when I think of Kanyon.

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  18. Dude has said he on this blog that he writes these reviews "while heavily intoxicated". Probably better than any of us could do in that state.


    What am I saying, *I'm* heavily intoxicated.

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  19. Im going to say this.


    Pretty much every reviewer that comes here gets fucked with when they start.


    Expect it. Deal with it.


    Eventually, they will respect you.

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  20. I know, right? Have, not of. Have. Have. HAVE.
    *pop*
    Okay, my left side went numb again. Time to go to sleep.

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  21. Chris Cucchie-Cucchie, you keep reviewing *whateva* you wanna review.


    I'm going to bed now, I'm drunk.

    ReplyDelete
  22. You can run the list, more often than not.


    Who can forget such reviewers like


    -Michael Bradley
    -Charlie Reneke
    -Kyle Fitta
    -MRoberts


    How about Tommy Hall, or Caliber?


    Adam Curry for the most part gets away but people (me) shit on what he reviews rather than the reviewer.

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  23. I think I'm the only one who liked Reneke's reviews.

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  24. And you wonder why people don't like you?


    If it makes you feel better, he's no longer fucking Kimberly.

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  25. I was in elementary school and pissed off that all the adults were talking about stuff and not letting me in on it.

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  26. Man she was a nice piece of ass, wasnt she?

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  27. Candido, Jericho, Benoit...


    Gotta be more.

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  28. Still is. She has aged quite nicely.

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  29. You were in elementary school?


    Fuck, Im old...

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  30. CHAMPION MOTHERCANUCKA, CHAMPION!!!


    NEW BREED BITCH!!!!

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  31. Seems to me that your biggest problem is Kevin Steen, not the show itself.

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  32. Remember who people thought Kanyon and Chris Champion were the same person?

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  33. Kevin Steen's weight gain...
    The fact that Kevin's Steen should not be the standard bearer for ROH, but really have no choice.


    Plus the problem with the midcard and their lack of tagteams.

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  34. I know the feeling... ugh lol

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  35. Since when do I wonder why people don't like me?

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  36. Randomest cameo ever in 40 year old virgin.

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  37. Damn, you're younger than I thought you were, I was 19 when it happened. Slept through the whole thing, to say that it was a big shock when I got up is an understatement to say the least.

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  38. So this is the line.

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  39. Lack of tag teams? They have like 6 or 7 tag teams, which is a good amount when the roster is only about 30 guys.

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  40. All that and you pull out lack of tags?


    lol...

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  41. I liked them at first, but his schtick wore thin.

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  42. Everything else is a legit complaint. I actually like Steen, but I see your point. A lot of people that review ROH (especially that clown that does the PPVs on 411) treat it like gold no matter what just because it's not WWE or TNA, but if it sucks I'm not afraid to call ROH out on it.

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  43. Man it was first year in the military when 9/11 hit. I was in Germnay so it was already the afternoon.

    I was driving on the flight line, and the military police were waving me to get the fuck off the flight line.



    I immediately duck off to the side and just plane after plane took off.


    Like 30+ planes took off because we had gone into Threat Condition Charlie (ThreatCON Charlie, to put it in perspective there's only 4 ThreatCONS Alpha/Bravo/Charlie/Delta.. Delta being the worst and by the time I got back to my office, we were in Delta) And all the planes had to be in the air, because attack was suspected.


    I got back to the office and everybody was listening to the radios and watching the TVs in complete silence.


    Like that was when I knew, shit just got real. The Air Force was a party up until then... It all changed after that.

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  44. These aint the days of the Briscoes, Steen/Generico or ever the ANX.


    These new teams are pretty much makeshifts...

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  45. Fuck... I keep outing myself as an ROH watcher...

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  46. Bret was WWF champion before I was born.

    I'm the second youngest person on this site.

    Sebastian being the youngest.

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  47. Yes on both counts.


    How does it feel Fuj? How does it feel that there's somebody younger and more handsome clamoring for your spot?

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  48. My dad found out about it two days later.

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  49. younger, ok.


    More handsome? Debatable.


    But You're gonna have to take my spot, cuz I'm not gonna give it to you BRO.


    COME AT ME!

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  50. I credit Kanyon with the best sell of a Stunner when Austin beat up everyone in the Alliance before InVasion. Wish I could find the video. Kanyon and DDP were a cool team.

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  51. Haha, I'm in the same boat. I hate DDP, but can't seem to hate him AS A PERSON, just as a guy who was over-pushed and looked like scummy white trash.

    I like to say that he's only doing these nice things to pay back the universe for letting a guy LIKE HIM have regular sex with a woman like KIMBERLY PAGE.

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  52. Kanyon was always quite good, though some people over-rated him because he often used unique offense. I guess that IS a pretty cool trait to have, though. He was forgettable as Mortis, and his goofy-sounding voice hampered him as a credible wrestler, but turning him into a Funny Heel was a good response to that- it let guys make fun of him, which made him PISSED OFF, which could often by hilarious and thus get a reaction from him.

    Didn't he try to sue the WWF for Wrongful Termination/Discrimination or something?

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  53. I did, but then he went crazy.

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  54. No one gave me shit when I came back to review the TNA PPV's and Pre-Wrestlemania WWF. Then again, that stuff isn't exactly fresh in everyone's mind.

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  55. Kanyon being gay is probably in not top 5 things that come to mind when I think of Kanyon.

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  56. I am a fan of the heel that is booked to be the face's exact opposite. same finisher etc...

    raven/dreamer

    jimmy rave/aj styles



    kanyon/ddp

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  57. Homosexual intercourse is just pro-wrestling taken to it's logical extreme - in this sense, there truly was nobody bettah than Kanyon.

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  58. Count me in as one of those people who doesn't remember Kanyon as gay. I remember Kanyon Cutters though

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  59. This explains a lot. ;-)

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  60. I used to enjoy hearing Kanyon on Howard Stern. He was always excited and very honest about anything (sex, sports, steroids, politics). Flair was on the show once and Kanyon called in to complain/confront about being fired by Vince and WWE and Flair totally no sold him--told him Vince is amazing and Kanyon is the one to blame for everything--even called him a lousy worker. He also said nobody cared he was gay. It wasn't too long that after that Kanyon committed suicide. Sad

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  61. I believe you're referring to David Foster Wallace, one of the greatest authors ever.

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  62. Best cameo ever in 40 year old virgin.

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  63. The only reason I ever thought his lawsuit against WWE had some merit was that one segment on Smackdown where he popped out of the box dressed as Boy George and Undertaker mauled him. It was so random, it had to be a rib on him being gay. Like, there was nothing he'd done previously as a character to set that up. He just shows up one day singing "Do You Want to Hurt Me?" It never made sense, and it felt really, ridiculously mean spirited.

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  64. You know what this thread needs?

    TEN MINUTES OF KANYON CUTTERS!!
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F5czUMb8HlE

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  65. A poster after my own heart. I've always championed Kanyon Cutters on the BoD.

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  66. Never seen this before but it's awesome! The best one is when he's speeding away in the car but stops to Kanyon Kutter the dude.

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  67. i wonder who the oldest are. I turn 40 in July. I have to be close.

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  68. This reminded me of the awful romance angle WCW ran between 60-something Mean Gene and whatever that ditzy blonde interviewer's name was. 2000 era WCW just had so much awful.

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  69. I worked until around midnight the day before the attacks, then went out with some friends and smoked enough weed to kill a man until about 2am. I was up the next morning when my mother called and screamed "WAKE UP HONEY! ITS FUCKING WORLD WAR THREE!" That will induce anyone out of sleep, regardless of the time.

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  70. Doing posts for the BoD seems a lot like coming up through the old territory system. You pay your dues and come up with something that works. If you can't handle the (sometimes constructive, sometimes not) criticism, you stick around, make changes and earn the respect of the other posters. If not, you flip out and leave. Makes perfect sense to me...

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  71. Everything makes more sense now.
    RE: Bret - ALL of his reigns? Or just the first?

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  72. pamela paulshock but she was soooo fine...

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  73. its funny how bloggers are saying kanyon being gay is the first thing that they think of.


    when its exactly the only thing i think of due to the RF VIDEO face off 8 IIRC (raven/Jim Mitchell and the first 15-20 minutes is dedicated to "kanyon being gay" stories)


    "DARYL VAN HORNE, I DONT FUCK WHORES!!!" lol

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  74. Everyone's up at 830 on a workday bro

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  75. Bro? He means in the hours leading up to the attack. People were up at 8:30, but probably in the hours leading up to 9/11, you were asleep. Unless you were boarding a plane.

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  76. Chris Von Erich, Chris Adams, Chris Chavis, Chris Youngblood, and kinda/sorta Christian Cage.

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  77. "Afterwards, in the dressing room, Kanyon confided in me that I was better than Kanyon, and what Vince did to me in Montreal was tragic."

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  78. I miss Michael Bradley :( He was so efficient!

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  79. same for me, I was 9 years old and I got woken up in the early hours of the morning by my Dad watching the TV (I live in Australia). I remember seeing those pictures and it just didnt occur to me the magnitude of what had happened. Now I study counter-terrorism at college :P

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  80. Happy birthday. I turned 31 on the 8th. BoD 1982ers unite!

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  81. The Brazilian Kid is right around your age, but he's hasn't been around in a while.

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  82. Not if you work nights.

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  83. Finally....something The Fuj and I agree 100% on!

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  84. I remember Charlie Reneke and Kyle Fitta... but that could just be because they have weird last names.

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  85. Thanks man. March 1982 was a great month. It's crazy to be born during the height of the backlund era

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  86. somebody please shoot this horse. beating it obviously isn't enough.

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  87. It's funny that you should say that, I can remember way back when I first got online, one of the very first things that I ever looked up from the endless catalogue of knowledge that is the internet, was who all of the WWF champions were on the day that I was born.

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  88. Every website had something regarding gay rights on it. If only women and blacks had the internet during their civil rights movements. I will not comment or give an opinion of the marriage issue, I will say the media trying to make up an imaginary gay NFL player is just ridiculous. The news/sports media wants that story so bad they are literally ready to make up a gay player so they can have the damn story. NFL's shameless self promotion and self serving / self rightous media pimping is turning me off from the sport big time. Almost as bad as WWE's awful Wrestlemania season. Kanyon ruled too BTW.

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  89. Everyone pretty much liked me from the start. Except that shitty TNA live show recap I did, but that was sort of a different thing.

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  90. Manti Te'o will come out the day he signs with an NFL team, I all but guarantee it.

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  91. Was this a book review or the whole book? Seriously though, Jim Mitchell can go fuck himself.

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  92. I wouldn't be so sure about that.

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  93. ESPN is reporting that a gay NFL is about to come out, but they didn't say who it was.

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  94. I call bullshit on that, a name would have leaked.

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  95. he's so gay but he isnt comin out that soon. im sure he will though

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  96. pfft 1981 is where its at.

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  97. I'm not motivated by pointless nostalgia? Yeah...it does explain a lot.

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  98. Before his first. I think Hulk was out of the WWF before I was born.

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  99. Yeah...don't exactly have much to show for my generation as wrestling fans.

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  100. What's funny is that I grew up in the 80s, but still realized that a shit ton of movies, music and art was great before I was born. Nostalgia something has nothing to do with it.

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  101. Hey, I love Flair, it's a tribute to his skill that I can enjoy his promos and find them relevant even though he was in his prime when my parents were kids.


    But I also realize that wrestling can't go back to the days of the 80s or even 90s. Greatness never comes from regression, you always have to go forward.

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  102. When it comes to art, going forward does not necessarily mean better. Michelangelo's sistine chapel is a great example. People still love it (forget the religious aspect of it) because it's unbelievable art that a dude drew on his back over years. It's not nostalgia, it's simply one of the greatest works of arts humankind has ever produced. I grew up, like I said, in the 80s. That doesn't mean that a song today (or band) or even a wrestling match can't be considered one of the all-time bests. I thought 1997 was a landmark year for wrestling as both WCW and WWF were putting on great TV and I was in my mid 20s. I didn't sit there and say 1989 is the best. By the same token, I can still say 1997 is better than 2012 and it's not nostalgia based because if that was the case, I would argue for 1985 or 1989.



    You seem to chalk it up to nostalgia when some of us older guys reference these years. I know this is cliche or whatever and I heard it when I was your age, but with years comes more wisdom by the simple fact that you have experienced more. You can still tell the difference between what you love in the nostalgic sense and what you love because it's better. This apply to all forms of art. You'll see.

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  103. Scream09 wakes up every morning with a big Bret boner. He can't help it.

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  104. Woooooooooooooo!

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  105. Shocked Flair didn't hit him up for a c note.

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  106. Whew! It's not me. I turn 40 at the end of the year. Damn, I've been reading Scott since before I turned 30...holy fuck.

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  107. Awww, 1982, one of the greatest years in geek cinema history. Vintage 1982! Happy birthday buddy.

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  108. Before I get into the main-body of art and its need to evolve, let me tell you that people don't always know the difference between nostalgia and true quality. There are people who think the 50s were the best decade ever because they loved Leave It To Beaver.


    Anyway, onto the high art discussion.

    Have you heard of Mannerism?


    Basically, after Michaelangelo died, people realized that they couldn't match the sheer splendor of what he could do...so instead of trying to draw more realistic things then Michaelangelo, they decided to draw things that were deliberately imperfect. Instead of poorly aping the greatest artist of all time, they moved on in a different direction, now maybe you don't like Mannerist stuff as much as you like High Renaissance but if those artists didn't decide that they were going to be incredibly daring and make art that broke the golden rules of perspective? We never would've gotten Dali or Picasso or Basquiat.


    I'm not saying that old things can't be great art. Casablanca is the best made movie of all time, it's pacing, characterization, mix of comedy and drama. It's the best film ever. It was a masterpiece in film-making. But just because it is the greatest movie of all time, it doesn't mean every movie should try to be Casablanca. People shouldn't be remaking the movie year after year after year.


    I oftentimes feel this site, and many other like it, use their love of legitimately great wrestling to denigrate any attempts to push wrestling in a different direction. Never having War Games doesn't make any of the War Games matches any less special or good. You can't changed history, the good or the bad, but you also can't live in it.


    I'm not a religious person, but I do have principles (not many). I believe in personal freedom, a strong infrastructure, questioning everything and everybody (including yourself), utilitarianism and the simple fact that tomorrow will always be better than today.


    Evolve or die.

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  109. Same age, although I've always got the "you're such an old soul" tag. My taste in a whole lot of areas, at least interest and entertainment wise are pretty rooted in the 70s/80s. I always have seemed to have a lot of older friends too. I think it's mostly due to growing up with a brother who was 7 years older than I was and trying to keep up with him.

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  110. That's incredible, Around that point many of us were already online having pretty much the same arguments as now, just with a different cast of characters.

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  111. Kahn, thunder lips, spicolli and jobber123. Solid year!

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  112. Shit like that is why I'm not really clamoring for the return of TV-14.

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  113. Y'know...it's those sort of revelations that make me think that wrestling fans don't really want change. They just want the latest crop of things to complain about.

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  114. 70's had the best movies, 90's had the best wrestling, 2010's have the best weed

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  115. I am also born in '82. Turned 31 in January

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  116. who was the Ravens player who wrote a letter in support of gay marriage that sparked that whole Chris Kluwe thing? Maybe him. I could see Kluwe coming out even if he isn't gay just to piss off gay bashers though.

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  117. Happy bday. I turn (God help me) 33 this August.

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  118. I often wonder what the median age is here. You can sometimes take a stab at it given tone and context, especially lately. I'm 36, myself.

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  119. This jerk off didn't read the review and is as insensitive as one will find. What happened? Did your father fist you?

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  120. hulk left in 93 kotr

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  121. Ah. The cheap heat of my life. Cucchie jokes. Think I have not been hearing them my entire life?

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  122. Kanyon was also manic depressive. So some of his shit came off as incredibly petty. I cannot blame the man, but, at times, his homosexuality was the least of his problems. The guy just needed to come clean. Pat Patterson had no issues with his overwhelming gayness. Kanyon's issue, and I hoped I had made it the central theme of the rant, was his insistence to keep it secret. THAT more than anything was an underlying theme the book provided.

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  123. 'Twas but an (admittedly bad taste) joke. Probably not wise to label one as insensitive and then imply they were raped by a parent, by the way.

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  124. Actually, if you read through the comment, a lot of us have made it a point to say that him being gay ISN'T the 1st thing we thought of.


    I think the book reviewer was sort of out of line for making that statement. Well, I'm not sure out of line is correct, but I definitely was like "Um, what?" when I read it.

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  125. Oh man, they were some of the best stuff from WCW in 2000. He'd Cut people in the distance when they'd be doing a an exterior shot, and then face the camera and yell BANG!!! from far away.


    I haven't watched the video, but I think one time he Cut the camera guy, so the camera goes down with him and then Kanyon sticks his face in the shot to yell BANG.

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  126. Agreed. It's information that's known about him but if we were doing word association and you said Kanyon, I'd probably respond: Mortis, who bettah than, US Title/Invasion, Kutters, Cage drop, etc.

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  127. but i love that you took the opportunity to be a pretentious COCK about it by CAPITALIZING...


    Feel good champ?
    You a big man now?
    lol

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  128. In the video he does one while the ring crew is setting up the ring. The entire time you see it from the hard cam. He hits it and runs out of the ring and about 10 seconds later he's right in front of the hard camera "BANG!"

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  129. Yeah, that's another good one. I had thought there was one where he dropped out of sight only to pop up right in the camera a moment later, so that's the ones.


    I want to say that with the exterior shot one, WCW actually did a slow-mo of it in review and highlighted where in the shot it was happening.

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  130. I have such a stupid sense of humor that this is one of the greatest things I've ever seen in wrestling. It's so stupid but it's AWESOME.

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  131. For all the crap that WCW rightfully gets for 2000, there definitely were some gems in there, random Kanyon Cutters being among them.

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  132. Man, I'm sorry, I was so drunk when I wrote that. I love your reviews man, I've read 'em all, even though I've read like half these books already. You've inspired me to find and read Regal's book.


    So you can call me Air-dick, like the kids at school did... once.

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  133. I'm honoring Bret by obsessively harping on the same thing well beyond the point anyone but myself cares. It's a fitting tribute to Bret.

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  134. Unlike you here, Bret is still over in the WWE. So there's that.

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  135. Kluwe is married with kids.

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  136. I love the fact that WWE acknowledges Montreal every 6 weeks has become Bret's fault.

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  137. I'm thirty - born in September of '82.

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