Monday, April 8, 2013

WRESTLEMANIA 29

The SmarK Rant for WWE Wrestlemania 29

Live from the New York market.

Your hosts are Michael Cole, Jerry Lawler and JBL

Pre-Show match: Wade Barrett v. The Miz

Barrett pounds on him to start, but Miz gets a sunset flip for two. Barrett boots him down and pounds away in the corner, for two. Miz suddenly comes back with the double neckbreaker for two, and they trade finisher attempts before Barrett hits the bossman slam for two. The big elbow misses and Miz gets the figure-four, but Wade gets the ropes. Wasteland gets two. Miz goes back to the figure-four and wins the title at 4:05. Oh goodie. * Poor Barrett, his legacy as champion is losing every match and then dropping the title to the Miz on the Wrestlemania pre-show.

The Shield v. Big Show, Sheamus & Randy Orton

Sheamus slugs it out with Reigns and puts him down with a clothesline for two. Over to Orton, as Cole notes that Orton had a “Wrestlemania moment” when he won the WWE title at Wrestlemania 24. Given that Orton was already the champion and was defending it on that show, that was quite the moment. Like, c’mon, I can barely remember who the champions are these days and even I knew that one off the top of my head. Ambrose comes in and gets beat up by Show, but the Shield turns the tide and Reigns spears Show for two. We get some dull kicky-punchy offense in the heel corner, but Show is CREATING WRESTLEMANIA SEPARATION. Who’s gonna be building Wrestlemania momentum? Hot tag to Sheamus and he pounds on Rollins and Ambrose in turn with the forearms and goes up, only to get foiled by Reigns. Show breaks up the triple powerbomb with a spear, but Orton tags himself in, snubbing Show. Draping DDT for Ambrose and RKO for Rollins, but he walks into a spear and Ambrose pins him at 10:44. Way to go, hotshot. Show lays out his partners afterwards, which I’m not sure counts as another official turn on his lengthy list. Not much to this match, especially given the high standards set by the Shield in their other PPV outings, although they definitely looked like stars here. **1/4

Mark Henry v. Ryback

Slugfest to start and Ryback goes down first. Henry with a powerslam for two, but Ryback tries a suplex and that works out about as well as you’d expect. Henry puts him on the floor and does nothing with that, and then works on the back. Slowly. Back to the floor for Ryback, and again Henry doesn’t even follow. Back in, it’s another bearhug. Ryback as the plucky underdog babyface is the worst idea ever. Ryback fights back as the crowd starts booing the match, and puts Henry down with the clothesline. Shellshock looks to finish, but Henry falls on top of him and pins him at 8:00. That was weird, unless Henry is next in line for ADR or Cena or something. I mean, I’m as big of a Henry booster as the next guy these days, but Henry could have taken the loss here. ½* And then Ryback gives him the Shellshock afterwards anyway! Weird.

WWE tag titles: Kane & Daniel Bryan v. Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston

Quick Big Brother Canada update: On Sunday’s show, super-smark Peter was leading the house in a Bryan-themed “Yes” chant, complete with hand gestures. I wonder if he’s bummed at missing the show this year? He would have gone into the house just after Elimination Chamber so he would barely even know what was going on with the card anyway. Cute spot to start with Ziggler getting a kiss from AJ, and Bryan hitting a high kick in an attempt to repeat the 18 second spot. Sadly, it only gets two. Bryan fires away with kicks, but Big E comes in and slugs it out with Kane. Dolph with a dropkick for two. Langston pounds away, but Kane DDTs him and makes his own comeback on Ziggler. Sideslam gets two. Dolph comes back with a fameasser for two and goes up, but Kane slugs him on the way down and gets two. Bryan fights with Big E on the floor and Ziggler hits the Zig Zag on Kane for two, but walks into a chokeslam and Bryan finishes with the flying headbutt at 6:18. So I’m not even really sure what the point of this feud was, unless the heels win the belts on RAW tonight. **

Fandango v. Chris Jericho

Jericho attacks during Fandango’s opening dance number, and they do some scufflin’ on the mat. Jericho suplexes him onto the top rope, and a codebreaker puts Fandango onto the floor. Jericho follows with a nice bodypress to the floor. Back in, Jericho tosses him again, but walks into a high kick on the apron. Back in, Fandango gets two and goes to the chinlock, but Jericho comes back with a double axehandle and enzuigiri for two. Flying bodypress gets two. Fandango sends him into the post an follows with a flatliner, setting up the flying legdrop for two. If that’s gonna be his finish I kind of wish they didn’t have Jericho kick out of it already. Jericho goes for the Walls, but Fandango clotheslines him to escape and goes up again. This time it misses, of course, and they fight to the top, where Fandango misses it again. Jericho with the Lionsault and he goes for the Walls again, but Fandango reverses into a cradle for the pin at 9:18. Best match of the show thus far. ***

P. Diddy, meet F. Forward.

World title: Alberto Del Rio v. Jack Swagger

It must be a big night because Uncle Zeb has a tie underneath his hunting jacket. Swagger attacks and they immediately fight to the floor, and back in where Swagger gets a cheapshot to take over. He sends Del Rio into the post. Short arm clothesline gets two. Del Rio escapes a chinlock and gets a crucifix for two, but Swagger boots him down again. Swagger Bomb gets two. He starts working the leg to set up his finisher, which at least puts him one up on the Miz, but Del Rio comes back with a backbreaker and low kick for two. Swagger reverses the armbar attempt into a powerslam for two and hooks the anklelock, but Del Rio escapes and makes the comeback. After 5 minutes? Backstabber gets two. This match has NO heat. Like, people are literally seen on camera getting up to take a shit and stuff. Surprised no one has Touted that yet. “Oh man, I’m here in the official Wrestlemania bathroom taking a huge greasy dump! Go John Cena!” So yeah, Swagger gets the anklelock and Del Rio gets the armbar and Swagger gets the anklelock again, but Del Rio escapes. Enzuigiri gets two and Del Rio goes after poor old Uncle Zeb (which is echoed by JBL), and that allows Swagger to attack from behind. Back in, Del Rio gets another armbar and Swagger taps at 10:31. And hopefully that’s the end of that chapter. **1/2

CM Punk v. The Undertaker

Living Colour plays Punk down, although without Corey Glover’s dreads it’s not quite the same. Punk attacks and slugs away in the corner as the crowd FINALLY wakes up and finishes taking their collective shits and buying nachos or whatever. Taker fires back and they head to the floor, where Punk gets his ass whupped. Taker immediately preps the table and runs Punk into the post, and the crowd actually starts a dueling chant for Punk and Taker. Back in, Taker goes old school, but Punk counters him and stomps away in the corner. Punk also goes old school, which REALLY pisses off the crowd for some reason. I mean, this dude dumped a guy’s ASHES on someone and the people barely blinked, but Punk does a ropewalk and suddenly THAT’S what the fans boo? Punk stays on the arm, but Taker launches him into the corner and then misses a blind charge. Taker bails and Punk follows with a flying axehandle to the floor, and back in for two. Punk hits the chinlock, but Taker suplexes out of it, so Punk decides o go old school again. I don’t like his chances here. And indeed, Taker drops him on his nuts and tries the dive, but Heyman runs interference and Punk gets a flying clothesline for two. Macho Elbow gets two. GTS is countered into the chokeslam for two. They slug it out and Taker gets the corner clothesline and Snake Eyes, but Punk throws the high kick out of nowhere and gets two. Back to the floor and Taker tries a powerbomb through the table, but Punk escapes and kicks him down again. This leaves Taker on the table, and Punk being himself goes to the top and hits another Macho Elbow onto the table…which doesn’t break. THAT TABLE WILL NEVER WORK IN THIS TOWN AGAIN. That thing is gonna be jobbing to Zack Ryder on Monday, and maybe Antonio Cesaro on Main Event. Punk gets a 9 count out of the spot, but Taker makes it back into the ring. Punk goes for the pin, but Taker wraps him up in the choke, which Punk turns into the Anaconda Vice. Taker does the zombie situp to escape and Punk nearly craps his pants, which is an AWESOME visual. The situp and reaction, not the pants. Punk gets the GTS, but Taker no-sells it and the Tombstone gets two. Thy slug it out again in dramatic fashion and the ref gets bumped, but Punk’s running knee is caught and turned into the Last Ride. Punk gets the urn, however, and puts Taker down for two. Punk wants a GTS, but Taker fights out, into the tombstone, and that’s 21-0 at 22:00. Undertaker pulls another great match out of his ass. **** Clean win, but Punk got tons of offense and you thought he might pull it off a few times, and that’s all you need. Plus now Punk can milk this for another year and never shut up.

HHH v. Brock Lesnar

I kind of which Brock wore his toque for the whole match. Fight on the floor to start, where the crowd is just deathly silent. DON’T THESE FANS KNOW HOW IMPORTANT THIS MATCH IS?!? HHH tells us how important it is EVERY WEEK and we get multiple video packages explaining in great detail how important it is. Brock gets a belly to belly suplex out there and then finally the stupid table breaks via a Brock suplex. Brock is so happy that he howls like a gorilla (thus having the loudest crowd reaction of the match on his own) and then sends HHH into the wreckage again. Back in, Brock clotheslines him for two. Another suplex gets two. German suplex gets two. Another one gets two. Back to the floor we go and HHH is BUILDING WRESTLEMANIA MOMENTUM. I knew Michael Cole wouldn’t let me down. HHH takes over, but back in Brock gets yet another german suplex for two. Anyone else thinking “Royal Rumble 2003” here? He stops to beat on Shawn Michaels, the multiple time World champion who is reduced to HHH’s damsal in distress, and gives him an F5. HHH completely botches a Pedigree and goes for the trusty sledgehammer, but Brock gives him the F5 for two. Back to the floor again and Brock throws the stairs into the ring and runs them into HHH for two. This match could have used some editing down, to say the least. HHH valiantly comes back, but Brock catches him with the kimura, forcing HHH to go low to break. I just noticed that poor Shawn has to lay on the floor selling an F5 from five minutes ago like he’s a recovering heart transplant patient or something. HHH tries his own kimura and Shawn finally revives and gets superkick Paul Heyman. IT’s no holds barred, why don’t Shawn and HHH just beat the shit out of Brock? Brock finally fights him off and gently drops him on the stairs to break, but HHH applies it again, because of course HHH would book himself to be the world’s awesomest submission specialist when facing a UFC champion. Sledgehammer and a gentle Pedigree on the stairs finishes at 23:49. Pretty anticlimactic finish. But at least HHH’s career isn’t over! I think we all breathed a sigh of relief at that one. So yeah, this was…long. ** It somehow managed to be even more boring than their Summerslam match. The Cena match worked because Brock is a different animal than all the other WWE guys, and Cena went out there and let himself get destroyed in something that looked like a legit fight to play to Brock’s strength. HHH, on the other hand, seems to see Brock as a monster of the week for him to play underdog against, even though no one in the free world sees HHH as an underdog at anything.

WWE title: The Rock v. John Cena

Slow feeling out process to start as they exchange shoulderblocks and Cena goes to the headlock. Belly to belly suplex gets two. Cena goes to the chinlock as I start to get the third-hour-of-RAW doldrums and ponder whether to shut it off and play God of War for a while to clear my head. Meh, there’s only 20 minutes left, I’ll tough it out. Rock with a sleeper and I have to grab caffeine and a snack. Cena suplexes out for two and I go back and add some more random thoughts to previous matches while he stomps away. Rock fights back, but Cena takes him down and tries the STF, then hits the shoulderblocks instead. Rock with the Sharpshooter, but Cena quickly escapes that and gets the five knuckle shuffle. Rock manages to dodge that devastating maneuver and kips up into a Rock Bottom, but Cena counters into the STF. Did I miss the part of the match building up to the big finisher sequence or something? It was just like, nothing, for 10 minutes and all of a sudden they’re hitting all their big moves in succession and selling nothing. So Cena gets the shuffle on a second try, but Rock gets the spinebuster, and Cena’s back to the STF as they try to create all this artificial drama. Rock powers out and gets the Rock Bottom for two. Cena with the FU for two. People’s Elbow gets two as this continues devolving into a video game demo. They slug it out and it’s another Rock Bottom for two. FU gets two. They slug it out and Cena gets a rollup for two, then hits his own Rock Bottom for two. I’m pretty sure they have other moves besides the Rock Bottom and FU. Cena once again tries the People’s Elbow, but suckers him in this time, and then Rock hits the Rock Bottom again anyway and gets two. They’re trying SOOOO hard t be cutesy-poo with this thing instead of trying to have a good match. So they keep trying to hit their finishers for the 20th time and Rock finally DDTs him, but takes too long setting up for the finish and Cena hits the FU to win the title back at 24:00. OK, you’ve been redeemed, now fuck off. I kind of resented this match most of the way, because they were doing big spots that they hadn’t earned by setting them up with smaller spots earlier in the match. It was fine for a big stadium main event, but nothing I’d ever want to watch again. ***

The Pulse

Wasn’t a bad Wrestlemania (certainly much better than 27 was) but between the meaningless midcard filler and ENDLESS commercials for WWE’s socially relevant importance and how wonderful they are to sponsor Special Olympics and soldiers and bullying and K-Mart and video games and semi-retired 80s rock bands and movies, it got a bit tiresome to say the least. By Brock-HHH I was ready to throw in the towel, but I mostly enjoyed the show before that, so we’ll go thumbs in the middle this year. Really could’ve used a wacky Ron Simmons skit or something to break up the monotony and dour self-importance, though.

72 comments:

  1. You gave the HHH match two more stars than I would have. That match was atrocious. I didn't love the Cena-Rock match but that wasn't their fault, the match felt weirdly constructed.

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  2. Woof! Indeed, especially with Brock Vs. ZZZ

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  3. I hated this show. I hated the lack of majesty, I hated the over-long matches that were "Deliberately Paced" I hated the fact it cost 70 dollars, I hate Triple H won, I hate the Main Event was more or less an exact copy of Rock / Hogan in terms of actual wrestling Prowess, I liked PDiddy's performance, and the taker match, and that was it.

    Wrestling seems to be a game of diminishing returns, as nostalgia for the good ole' days grows and the current product can't help to keep up.

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  4. Woof! Indeed, especially at Brock Vs. ZZZ

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  5. Here is the problem with WM29, and it's the same problem WWE has as a whole. You could have still had a blow away show with a great Punk/Taker match and meh/decent HHH/Brock Rock/Cena matches if the rest of the card is good. But literally everything that wasn't a main event was 10 minutes and under and had zero consequences.

    Where was TLC from 18? Christian/Jericho from 20? Hart/Piper from 8(and btw, Piper then was the closest equivalent to what Rock/Brock are today and what did he do? Put over an up and coming wrestler who ended up world champ later that year and went on to become one of the greatest ever. Funny how that works out.)? By completely ignoring the mid-card, you need those 3 matches to deliver big time and if they don't, it's a bust.

    Look at what happened to Fandango. His big coming out moment was getting treated like a jobber nearly the entire match, Jericho kicking out of his big finish, and then getting a fluke roll up. What is the fucking point of that? What was the point of Ryback/Henry? The Shield match was basically a SD main event. What was Dolph Ziggler(a guy who is going to win the World title in a few months) doing last night? You think maybe it might be a good idea to use an audience that large to showcase a guy who will be main eventing this summer?

    But hey, your World champ got boo'd out of the building even when one of the most beloved people on the planet raised his hand! All is well!

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  6. The Brock-HHH match just left a terrible taste in my mouth. Like old eggs. Eggs that should've been thrown out three years ago, but were served anyway.

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  7. AmericanWolves02April 8, 2013 at 2:43 PM

    Everything before Punk-Taker was Raw quality **1/2 range. Undertaker-Punk was AWESOME! Like I said below Undertaker-Shawn but on par with Edge, Batista, and Triple H III. ****1/2 and easy match of the night. Brock and Triple H died a thousand deaths. Not even Brock's entrance got a good pop. Punk got a better pop than Brock or Tripe H combined. And Rock-Cena was decent.


    Undertaker and Punk really went out there and busted their asses. Undertaker worked hard but was probably smart enough to let Punk handle the heavy lifting. I liked teasing the tope. One thing since Punk was stealing Taker's spots to get in his head, why not go full on with it. Have Punk hit a tope instead of Taker. Have Punk hit snake eyes. Small gripes. Loved the match. Taker can still go. Punk's the man.

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  8. I might try to YouTube Punk-Taker some time down the road, but literally nothing else catches my attention.

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  9. I think they learned that Rock didn't have the lungs to do that actual wrestling part of a long match, so they went from feeling out to finishers and selling so he didn't have to be so obviously blown up again. I think Brock has beefed up quite a bit since the Cena match and has lost some agility because of it. Once again, Daniel Bryan gets one the biggest reactions of the night. Seemed like the entire stadium was chanting "YES!" and he was obviously loving it.

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  10. Isn't it safe to assume Cena and Rock "constructed" their own match though?

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  11. I can't believe that's all they could think of for Cena / Rock. Just no creativity whatsoever in the match planning. They've totally forgotten how to lay out Rock matches.

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  12. This show may have cost me $0 to watch, but it cost me four hours of being outside and enjoying life/stimulating my mind. WM was truly a snoozer and every "big" match felt the same. Finisher. Kick out. Finisher. Kick out. Punk v UT was the best of the big matches, but that's probably cause it was the first of the Finisher parades.

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  13. "Third-hour-of-RAW doldrums"

    That, is a terrific trademark.

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  14. I was gonna wait until the RAW thread to catch up, but broke down and checked here instead.


    So...did I really miss out on anything huge?

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  15. So....


    Stairs > Brock Lesnar
    Table > CM Punk

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  16. Fair review from Scott! The show was solid but pretty underwhelming. Some of the midcard matches would have been great if they just had a little more time to play with.
    Brock vs HHH was pretty dull, very slow and heatless. Brock should not be losing to HHH. Hope he was paid well...which I'm sure it was!
    Rock vs Cena was boring for most of the way, but pulled it back around into the stretch. But like Scott says...what was the obsession with the FU and Rock Bottom? Interesting how much hate the bonding session got post-match. Even Rock can't make people like Cena!

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  17. I assumed an agent was involved and a portion of it was chopped off so that THIS BUSINESS could go long.

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  18. AmericanWolves02April 8, 2013 at 2:47 PM

    Punk and Taker had a match that the general consensus considers ***3/4-****1/2 That's about it.

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  19. If they had flipped Brock-HHH and Punk-Taker I think we have a better response.

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  20. Punk/Taker is really worth going out of your way to see. It was awesome.

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  21. Two matches where the aim seemed to be to script a classic/epic STORY from the start with lots of wow moments, and they fell flat.

    Meanwhile, the ones (Punk/Taker, Fandango/Jericho) that were actual wrestling matches ended up - whodathought? - saving the show. Without that I wonder if we'd have seen a SMURF or HPUTA return.

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  22. Brock going to UFC and becoming an even bigger no-joke legitimate *real* athlete really kills some of the fun with his matches. I watched the show with casual/non-fans and none of us for a second believed that HHH could survive in the ring with Brock and certainly not for a second in the kimura etc. It was laughable to think we could suspend our disbelief THAT much. Classic HHH.

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  23. TheRealCitizenSnipsApril 8, 2013 at 2:49 PM

    I was kind of distracted, but did the ending to the Jericho match look a little botched? Like, Jericho goes for the Lionsault but Fandago is obviously way too close to the ropes, and he was going to block but Jericho overshot him badly and then just decided to go to the next spot. Maybe not 'botched', but it looked super awkward.

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  24. *** For Rock and Cena BULLSHIT I Tell you, ** for that HHH-Lenar abortion seems generous as well

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  25. AmericanWolves02April 8, 2013 at 2:49 PM

    Finisher parades? Punk hit ONE GTS. Taker hit TWO tombstones. That's a parade?

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  26. See, I would be inclined to agree with you in regards to Rock... But if he was still in it for the finishers sequence he clearly had the motor. He also had more lift for his spinebusters and Rock Bottoms than any other point prior.


    The real guy who needs lungs is HHH. Just a heinous match of him needing to suck wind every couple of minutes.

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  27. Yeah, don't bother with anything else. Punk v Taker was good stuff.

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  28. No, You missed a great Undertaker match that ended exactly like you'd expect and absolutely nothing else of note happened on this show

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  29. AmericanWolves02April 8, 2013 at 2:51 PM

    Been saying that last part forever. Sure have the part timers main event but why not give Ziggler and Bryan a 15 minute match to make stars of themselves?

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  30. AmericanWolves02April 8, 2013 at 2:52 PM

    Yeah it was. He was really close. Jericho played it off though and it worked. Especially since he was close so Jericho had to land weird which played into the finish.

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  31. I'm a little higher on the Shield match, and maybe a little lower on HHH/Brock, but otherwise pretty much right in line with this.
    I thought that the Main was ok. Definitely not great, but not really that bad either. Entirely watchable, once, is a good way of looking at it.
    The HHH match was just horrible though.
    Waayy too much self fellating on the special olympics/army/bullying crap.

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  32. Not sure why you got a downvote for this.

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  33. I'm with Scott - Rock and Cena's constant attempts at the same two damn moves got annoying FAST. If ever there was a time to pull out seldom used moves, this was it, to convey the message that they could not beat each other. As I said in the other thread, this was a golden opportunity for The Rock to use the Stunner as a HOLY SHIT move to try to beat Cena once and for all. Hell, have Cena steal someone's finisher as well, just to show that they'll try anything to win. Whoever booked this match did a terrible job of building drama.

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  34. I can't wait to send a Tout to the table! #furtniture

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  35. Well ok. Fair enough. Reversal of near finishers? Don't those count?

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  36. WWE has spent a few million dollars to remind Brock Lesnar that at the end of the day, this is HHH's business. It's a really absurd use of money.

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  37. AmericanWolves02April 8, 2013 at 3:00 PM

    I usually don't count finisher reversals unless they get crazy like Rock-Cena.


    In Punk-Taker they went for finishers and got countered but that wasn't all they had. Rock-Cena had the last 8 minutes finisher kickouts or going for finishers only to be countered back into them using the same sequence.

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  38. Didn't scott give the first HHH/Brock match 4 stars?

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  39. Imagine how good it might have been had Fandango been participating in it along with Jericho!

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  40. That's some funky HTML you got going on there!

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  41. I think everybody watching at Hooters with me last night feared that Triple H was actually going to put himself over by making Lesnar tap.

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  42. I'll go ahead and double-post. Seems more relevant in this article, anyway.

    ***

    I simply do not understand how 4 hours is not enough time to showcase one of the most legitimately talented people under your umbrella (Lilian Garcia) for 3 minutes to sing "America the Beautiful."

    or how is it not long enough for 10 matches? instead we get the IC bout pushed to the pre-show & the fun, filler match (needed for fans to take a break) cut altogether. Oh, I understand, we need an hour for video packages & recaps & Diddy performaces that no one will remember tomorrow.

    we didn't need a 5 minute video of rock fans. we get it. he's famous. he's one of the most important personalities in the history of the sport. we don't need you to tell us.

    we didn't need a 5 minute video telling us how dedicated John Cena is. we get it. he's the hardest working man in the industry right now. i don't even think it's a contest. but we KNOW THIS ALREADY. we didn't pay $70 for hype videos & irrelevant performances. i know it's wrestlemania, and they want it to be more mainstream, but it's mainstream enough with the ROCK wrestling in a match against another pseudo-mainstream guy.

    give us our damn wrestling, already. i feel like there was a 20-minute gap (if not more) in between pairs of matches, at least once. it's ridiculous. there was, literally, less than 2 hours of professional wrestling on a 4 hour broadcast of professional wrestling's biggest show. i did the math.

    positively, that Cena / Taker match was far beyond what I thought they could do. I was bouncing around like a child multiple times. **THAT** is what WrestleMania is all about.

    ***

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  43. MadDogJoeDeCursoApril 8, 2013 at 3:08 PM

    Not to be a marketty mark, but there was nothing on this show, Taker included, that felt as rewarding as watching Jay Brisco finally win the big one..

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  44. HHH-Brock was slow and plodding, but I agree with the ** rating. It wasn't that bad, and was hurt by the crowd. And now that's three main or semi-main events where HHH has had a plodding, heatless match that would have been served by earlier placement in the card, along with his matches against Jericho and Orton at 18 and 25.

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  45. people are literally seen on camera getting up to take a shit and stuff


    Yeah, I was fascinated by all those people literally defecating in the seats!

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  46. AmericanWolves02April 8, 2013 at 3:10 PM

    Don't remember but I think it was in the *** range

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  47. Too bad the people at home couldn't see it...

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  48. Yeah, I thought the same exact thing about the stunner. It would have been an awesome spot for Rock to use the finisher of his greatest rival. Alas . . .

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  49. I'm a month+ behind on ROH, so I had no idea he was even getting a title shot. How random for a life-long tag guy (moreso than JBL) to suddenly be the top singles guy.

    I can see it, though. Of the pair, I think Jay is more marketable.

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  50. cabspaintedyellowApril 8, 2013 at 3:22 PM

    Some men just like to watch the world burn.

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  51. If he still has the title after Border Wars I'll be pretty shocked.

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  52. I agree with all of this except for the Fandango thing. I think his match will be more memorable and have something more to build off with this "upset over a legend/Jericho" storyline than if it was just a good match. I actually thought it was the most credible in-match storyline that you could have thought up for both guys.

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  53. Why does HHH end up with soiled clothes every time he meets Brock?

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  54. literally getting up and figuratively taking a shit.

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  55. That's what I'm thinking too. Seems like it has transition champ written all over it. I'm happy for Jay though. I haven't seen the show yet, but I bet the pop when he won was amazing.

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  56. it was worse than that. I look at ** as a match with nothing really wrong with it, but nothing spectacular (HHH/Batista at WM 21). This match had a lot wrong with it, and was underwhelming.

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  57. in fairness, if I had to fight Brock Lesnar, I'd also probably soil myself.

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  58. Even booking that spot just mad me sit and frown.

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  59. I saw a fancam video of it and yeah, they went nuts.

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  60. Note... when it's Rock/Cena, they can only try the Attitude Adjustment or the Rock Bottom... repeatedly. But when it's Punk/Cena... Cena's busting out powerbombs, hurricanranas... oh and PUNK HIT A MOTHERFUCKING PILEDRIVER!

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  61. Total pro, turn a botch into something that works directly into the finish.

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  62. I AM THE TABLE!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jwaV_YZMIqY

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  63. Well that finish counter sequence was straight parody... it's like they had NOTHING else.

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  64. I don't know if it was that good... more surprising, because Punk didn't seem to have his heart into the buildup and you most likely thought he's going to go through the motions... and he went out and stole the show with a legend.


    Contradict that Punk/Undertaker match to the first couple times they met when Punk was the World Heavyweight Champion, and they're like night and day.


    In kayfabe, Punk is always bitching about respect... Punk got his respect from the Undertaker, and was allowed a different type of match.

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  65. Fangago/Jericho was enjoyable. Anyone catch Jericho's promo on the post show? I look forward to a program with them. Everything else was pretty crappy outside of Punk/UT.

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  66. Thing is; I get what wrestlemania is supposed to be, it's never (well not nowadays) meant to be a top to bottom outstanding wrestling card, the performances, the fireworks, the promos, the skits its all part of the point of wrestlemania. X7 was a fantastic anomaly because it had great wrestling and had the skits as well, and nothing on this card really offended me, Heck i even slightly enjoyed Rock and Cena, if not for the match...then the awesome visual in the end, and im sure plenty of cena fans loved that moment.

    The thing that really took me out of this show was the HHH/Brock match, if it was going to be that slow, they should have cut out 10 minutes and still had the same match easily....or cut out 5 from the cena match and 5 from the brock match and give that 10 minutes to the tag match or the shield match or even the fandango match and boom you'd have your second 4 star match of the night. Swtich the placement of the taker match and the brock match and honestly you would have had a much MUCH better show.

    So im just wondering, why exactly are they giving so much time to matches that dont need it, because they clearly pad out that time with restholds and lying about doing nothing. I liked this wrestlemania...it was certainly better than 25 and 27, and in some regards better than 26, but that HHH/Brock match honestly deflated everything. Seriously I know he's a good boss...but fuck HHH.

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  67. Can't say I'd fair any better myself.

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  68. TheRealCitizenSnipsApril 8, 2013 at 4:26 PM

    Wildly agree. And really, if building around the whole Wrestlemania brand is a key concept to their business model, then "And make sure to tune in to see what crazy shit Kofi Kingston pulls this year" is a pretty viable selling point. Yeah, like Shelton Benjamin before him, it will probably mean the gradual death of his career, but I doubt the WWE cares too much about THAT.

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  69. I pretty much agree with you, though I'd prefer a big ladder-match for the Tag Titles.

    I realize that Justin Gabriel, Tyson Kidd, The Usos, Primo & Epico, Hunico, and JTG aren't exactly the most over guys on the roster, but put six or eight of them in there with a bunch of ladders, and the company could have some new stars on their hands.

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  70. I used to watch Saturday Night Main Events that took their build up more seriously. You can put on the best match in the world but if it has no story or rivalry it is just going to be an exhibition of well executed moves.

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  71. VINTAGE KATRINA!

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