Something I need confirmed or debunked; is CM Punk PURPOSELY isolating himself from the main Bryan/HHH storyline, through some sort of veto power he has in his contract, where CM Punk can opt out of any storyline creative might have going on these days?
It's been total and complete bullshit that Punk hasn't been front and center in the current Bryan/HHH storyline, especially since the only reason people gave a flying fuck about him and Heyman was the Lesner factor and Lesner's being a lazy fuck who won't work full-time. So why fucking continue the storyline and make us endure God-awful D-Listers like Curtis Axel and Ryback as the poor man's replacement for Brock?
And hell, it's not like they are even trying to give us a reason for Punk being off HHH's radar to explain this ma
And hell, speaking of Brock, having Punk be side by side with Bryan fighting HHH and Orton (and remember, Orton/Punk is a bloodfeud that is FAR more personal than Punk being pissy that Heyman dumped him) would provide the perfect eventual set-up for what a lot of people have been speculating in terms of explaining WHY Brock and HHH might eventually hook up as allies: Punk proves to be such a threat to HHH/Orton, they have to buy Brock Lesner's contract from Heyman so they can sick him onto Punk, in order to keep him from backing up Bryan.
don't even NEED to tell you who wrote me this e-mail.
It's Lesnar.
ReplyDeleteIt has the fingerprints of the Fuj and the DNA of Elvy.
ReplyDeleteDoes it rhyme with Messy Faker?
ReplyDeleteMr. Baker - why would Punk/Orton be so much more personal than Punk/Heyman?
ReplyDeleteHere are your choices:
ReplyDeleteA. Jesse
B. Baker
C. JB (not the guy from TNA)
D. Jesse Baker
In all seriousness, I have no doubt that at some point, they will merge Punk into the Bryan storyline. It's still too soon.
I think this is punks best face work, much better than. "I'LL TAKE A BREATHALYZER ANY TIME JERICHO"
ReplyDeleteYeah, that Punk face run was the typical goofy laughing face. Now, he's basically heel Punk without the cheating and disrespect. He has an edge to him.
ReplyDeleteRight. If anything the McMahons are so focused on the "Best for Business" angle, that they are basically letting Heyman and Punk run loose with their own program.
ReplyDeleteHaha. What an idiot.
ReplyDeleteOkay, I'll admit it. It was me who sent this.
ReplyDeleteThey Heyman feud is just begging for Brock to return.
ReplyDeleteJus wait until they reveal Punk as the Higher Power
ReplyDeleteThe "CM Drunk" storyline was the drizzling shits.
ReplyDeletehttps://www.youtube.com/watch?v=p7w64fbqYQY&feature=youtube_gdata_player
ReplyDeleteMr. Baker, they will eventually merge Heymans and his crew into the heel stable. This will be what incorporates Punk into the storyline.
ReplyDeleteI feel that Scott just posted this for our amusement. Loved how he didnt even attempt to answer it. This is why we come back here.
ReplyDeleteI wonder how many e-mails he gets from Jesse and to troll him, he posted this one. I'm guessing they're in the double digits per week.
ReplyDeleteIt was you... it was you all along?
ReplyDeleteAnd Hell indeed
ReplyDeleteIf ANYTHING in this world needs SERIOUS overthinking, it's a WWE plotline. I'm a fan, that's why I'm here. But I don't waste brain cells trying to rebook and overthink. That's why I supplement it with some real sports, where that sort of thing makes more sense.
ReplyDeleteI dunno man, the 49ers and The Rams played to a tie, then a near tie, within weeks of eachother.
ReplyDeleteYou're still kind of new around these parts, you don't know Jesse Baker. I've never seen anyone take wrestling storylines more serious than him. I'm surprised there wasn't man-on-man rape in his diatribe.
ReplyDeleteHe also forgot to mention Cena.
ReplyDeleteIt would have been funnier if Scott actually said: "And hell, I don't even NEED to tell you who wrote this e-mail."
ReplyDeleteI can't even imagine if Cena was active right now, what the hell he'd come up with, especially if Cena was fighting on Bryan's side instead of Punk.
ReplyDeleteE-mails like this make me glad I'm back to being a casual fan.
ReplyDeleteOr stopped doing coke and meth simultaneously for 6 straight hours.
ReplyDeleteAnd any time CM Punk is offscreen, all the other characters should be asking "Where's Punky?"
ReplyDeleteOrton stiffed Punk at Cracker Barrel, told him was was going to take a piss and just got in his bus and left. It wasn't even that, Punk wanted to go to Bob Evans.
ReplyDeleteDo you know where he lives? I would like to send him a Fleshlight in the mail. It might help a little.
ReplyDeleteI like to imagine he has a gmail filter that dumps them all into a separate folder and he posts one at random when he's bored.
ReplyDeleteNot sure that posting on rspwfaq qualifies you as a casual fan.
ReplyDeleteI would actually love for Punk to come back and get some revenge on Orton after their last shitty, one-sided feud.
ReplyDeletePatton Oswalt's character from Parks and Rec is e-mailing Scott Keith now?
ReplyDeleteHmmm...what was the spread for those games?
ReplyDeleteHmm good point, I guess my definition of casual is different based on how much I used to watch, which was reaching unhealthy proportions. I haven't even bothered watching the show in months now, I just read the recaps and watch the most intriguing sounding matches/segments (which isn't very many).
ReplyDeleteJesse Baker, how come you never answered Dougie's question last week?
ReplyDeleteThat was a really awful angle, one I couldn't even suspend my Golden Gate Bridge of Disbelief that you need as a WWE watcher. If Punk has been straight edge his whole life, then I'm pretty sure he's conditioned to shrug off any negative shit about it, not to mention his persona is pretty thick-skinned as it is; for him to suddenly be in fear of Jericho's proclamation of Punk falling off the edge was...I never got it. They should've just ran with a "Best In The World (At What I Do)" angle and let those two tear down the house.
ReplyDeleteIT'S ME AUSTIN! IT'S ME AUSTIN, IT WAS ME ALL ALONG AUSTIN!
ReplyDelete...I'm just kidding, no way I could ever be coked out to turn in something like that. Im convinced Jesse Baker does more drugs than Jesse Pinkman is cooking them.
Jesse, you've been asked this numerous times as well-
ReplyDeleteWhat makes Brock a "lazy fuck"?
Jesse's emails have slowed down lately, actually. Usually about one a week.
ReplyDeleteI'm pretty sure Punk/Bryan for the title is the big program that bridges the gap between Survivor Series and Royal Rumble.
ReplyDeleteAnd who would start a fight over whether or not Jericho had footage of him in a bar? And why would pouring alcohol on punk even matter, he's not an alcoholic. He can have a drink if he wants. It was so stupid. Y2j stepped it up with trashing his family but the other shit was such garbage
ReplyDeleteI think what they should do is have CM Punk take over Daniel Bryan's brain.
ReplyDeleteLesnar gets paid a crapload of money to work 3 matches a year. I'd gladly be a lazy fuck for that deal.
ReplyDeleteTo be as insane as Jesse Baker, it's gotta be a cocktail of coke, meth, molly, OxyContin, bath salts and playing "Permanent Midnight" and "Fear And Loathing In Las Vegas" on a neverending loop.
ReplyDeletePlease don't give Jesse any ideas.
ReplyDeleteThe reasons they are keeping CM Punk out of the corporate storyline is real simple. To keep people guessing and make it a surprise when it does happen. My guess is at some point later this year, Heyman and Triple H ally, and then Brock Lesnar becomes the new corporate approved champ. Then punk will battle Lesnar and then later other members of the corporation, after lesnar goes on his bi annual 6 month break. There is no conspiracy behind this. Its just smart booking to keep the corporation angle interesting for longer. They also want to save Lesnar being the corporate champ for a PPV that matters, Royal Rumble and/or Wrestlemania.
ReplyDeleteJesse Baker really does need help. I feel uncomfortable with mocking him.
ReplyDeleteI do love Jesse's obsession with how "lazy" Lesnar is, like not going on the road with the WWE is a strike against your character. To my mind, with the brutal schedule and bullshit working conditions the WWE push on their workers, anyone who has the clout and the balls to stand up to them in negotiations and sign a contract on their own terms is worthy of the utmost respect. I wish more people did it.
ReplyDeleteYeah, let's be honest, if some horrible incident hit the news and Jesse Baker was reported as the lone man responsible, how many of us would say "... Ah. That is not surprising."
ReplyDeleteI really hope he's joking, or this he's happily married and this is just his way of blowing off steam.
ReplyDeleteIf Jesse is 100% serious about this...then I don't know, I just don't know anymore.
They often have two different storylines with little divergence. Why would CM Punk care about Corporation 2.0 when Bryan has made it clear he expects and wants no help? He's too busy with Heyman at the moment. If anything, HHH helped Punk by making heyman wrestle him at Payback. If they want to include Punk in it, they can retcon it as corporation 2.0 paying Heyman to keep Punk busy.
ReplyDeleteI Ike how they are making the Usos look like bad asses.
ReplyDeleteI hope Ryback accuses Bryan of being a bully.
ReplyDeleteThey're right on the cusp of being a super hot team.
ReplyDeleteMy main problem with this show is that WWE is booking a lot of their heels like faces.
ReplyDeleteAJ...is not a heel, the sooner they realize she's the female Punk and just CAN'T be a heel, the happier everybody will be.
Oh, and Brie's now a face? How the fuck are they going to book the Bellas as faces? HOW?
And lastly and most importantly (because they have the most screentime). The Shield are on the edge of being turned face, and Bryan did not come across as especially sympathetic tonight. Next show needs to end with Orton and the Shield tearing their way through the rabble and killing Bryan dead. I feel incredibly uncomfortable with Zack Ryder's team winning the main-event of Raw. The fodder needs to fod.
The Rhodes too.
ReplyDeleteRegardless of respect, I wish more people did it. Going away for a month, maybe two can let you heal up and really does keep your character fresh. I was genuinely excited to see Cody Rhodes last night. Cody! and together with Goldust?
ReplyDeleteI've never once in my life been excited to see Cody Rhodes. Distance makes the heart grow fonder and all that.
So where's Bryan in all of this? Does he win at Battleground and keep the belt for a few months and lose to Lesnar?
ReplyDeleteThanos has the reality gem. This is finally the way we can have him enter the WWE Universe.
ReplyDeleteHe's a totally outrageous paradigm, that Punk.
ReplyDeleteI don't mind Punk not being involved but I will say this - the WWE babyface roster is so jobberific it hurts. Who was standing on the stage at the start of Raw? RVD, Ziggler, and a bunch of super jobbers. LOL! HHH should have given The Shield the day off, I'm sure him and Steph could have handled them themselves
ReplyDeleteThe Heyman/Punk storyline is great, I'm going to give Ryback a chance but Axel I have given up on and they should have known he'd flop in this role just like we all knew it.
ReplyDeleteLike I say give Ryback a chance in this role but the Heyman/Punk interactions are gold, you believe Punk genuinely hates his guts and the only thing that could make it better is to get a real Heyman guy in there to fight Punk, maybe bring back some ECW stalwarts for a short time?
Yeah, he's no longer the pandering "Indy John Cena" that he was towards the end of his previous face run. He still has a heelish edge.
ReplyDeleteThey can book the Bellas as faces just like they've booked the Primetime Players, with the good ol' no-explanation turn.
ReplyDeleteWhere is Mark Henry? Last time I saw him he was teaming with Big Show and they were gonna be this dominant Twin Towers tag team, but then Show got involved in the HHH-Bryan angle and Henry just disappeared. Is he injured? When he comes back he could join the main-event feud and let some of the fodder (Ryder, Gabriel) go back to being fodder.
Good review. I like your stuff. Keep up the good work
ReplyDeleteI kinda feel bad for the dudes involved, that tattoo story had a lot more potential, such as Jericho smacking the everloving shit out of a fresh tat.
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing he gets a shot at corporate champ Lesnar as well. Lesnar will beat one of the two at Royal Rumble, and the other one will beat Lesnar at Wrestlemania. I honestly don't know which one gets which role. However, this seems to be the direction WWE is headed in, at least on my prediction.
ReplyDeleteJesse reminds me more of Patton Oswalt's character from Big Fan.
ReplyDeleteNot to pick nits, but the main event was not the same as Smackdown's. Vicki booked a gauntlet match, where each dissenter was sent to face to Thr Shield in a 3-on-1 handicap match. RAW had an 11-on-3 handicap elimination match.
ReplyDeleteAlso, Bryan's teammates didn't disappear at the end. The Usos were fighting Reigns and Ziggler was fighting Ambrose.
I'd actually be surprised if Jesse DIDN'T have a suit made of human skin.
ReplyDelete"Mom can we go to bed without dinner?"
ReplyDelete"Yes"
Give Jesse Baker mod privileges ASAP!
ReplyDeleteBaker and Cucch book review threads are the main event on the BoD. Everything else is just jobber fodder
ReplyDeleteHa. Around a month ago people were complaining about Bryan being laid out all the time. Now people are complaining he is being too dominant...:0
ReplyDeleteI do think they need more Heels in Corporation 2.0 though.
I imagine him being sort of like tom green's character in freddy got fingered for some reason.
ReplyDeleteI imagine his mom did alot of drugs during pregnancy.
ReplyDelete"You gotta wonder why Punk fell for this. He KNEW it was going to happen, and he went and did it anyway"
ReplyDeleteThere's a fine line between stupid and confidence. Punk made it pretty clear in his promo that he would trade 2 punches at Heyman for the 2-on-1 attack. The 2-on-1 brawl with Punk getting hope spots in front of a rabid crowd was expertly done. The only thing missing was Ryback like blowing his nose with the Blackhawks jersey.
I knew it was Jesse Baker by the second "fuck."
ReplyDeleteI feel bad for Jesse. He has a lot of sincerity and passion that's just misplaced. I feel like if he took his enthusiasm and put it towards something that makes him happy, he'd achieve some really great things.
ReplyDeleteFor all the complaints about the babyfaces looking terrible, working with the Shield is getting the Usos really over. I don't think they're viewed as jobbers anymore.
ReplyDelete"We're through the looking glass here, people."
ReplyDeleteOh, it's absolutely in the best interests of the athletes AND the WWE to let them have rotating months off. Say each guy gets a month off every six months. Now, obviously, they don't want to do that because guys fear they'll lose their push and the WWE want all hands on deck but in the long-run it'd be far better in terms of keeping the talent fresher both physically as well as in a television sense.
ReplyDeleteYeah that's true - this has given them a good rub. It just didn't look like a particular strong group standing there last night and made me realise how thin the babyface roster is without Punk & Bryan.
ReplyDeleteYeah, that's not being lazy, it's being smart.
ReplyDeleteName-dropping The Fuj won't get get you up the card ol' bean
ReplyDeleteWhat's the over/under on him being a toilet baby?
ReplyDeleteJesse Baker was main event 2 years ago.
ReplyDeleteJesse Baker has entered Fuj territory nowadays.
Special Attraction
Ha. Ill take what I can get.
ReplyDeleteLulz
ReplyDeleteIt's called the slow burn. Watch more wrestling.
ReplyDeleteChrist. Is he this whiny and entitled with everything in his life?
ReplyDeleteSoak it in Baker, probably the only time youll be compared to Brock or the UT.
ReplyDeleteAll this. Hes being paid to work in a simulated, scripted fight after hes legitimately proven himself in UFC. Hes probably sitting on his ranch, laughing at all of us, while Sable rides him.
ReplyDeleteHe reminds me more of Patton Oswalt's character from The Heart, She Holler.
ReplyDeleteHas there ever been a time where she's never looked bangable? o_O
ReplyDeleteI love that Lesnar is "lazy", if you can get paid well to do a job infrequently that's called "good".
ReplyDeleteIs Jesse Elvy?
ReplyDelete"So you're telling me you're offering me more money than I could ever spend to work fifty days a year."
ReplyDelete"Yes."
"FUCK YOU! GIVE ME MORE DAYS!"
I think he's a kid, like a teenager. I was really passionate about this kind of stuff at that age.
ReplyDeleteAll I can picture is "Tweak" from that old South Park episode. The dude that sees underwear gnomes after drinking coffee all night.
ReplyDeleteAnd hell,
ReplyDeleteIts so fanboy to demand Punk be in the main event and rage on HHH and Steph. 1999 fanboy at that.
ReplyDeleteWho in the bloody blue hell is Jesse Baker?
ReplyDeleteWho is Jesse Baker?
ReplyDeleteI never know if Rashida Jones and Amy Poehler are hot. I cant decide
ReplyDeleteHes the BoD mascot.
ReplyDeleteOr maybe from Young Adult.
ReplyDeleteI'm not too far removed from those years, but maybe it's because I'm just an unemotional guy, but this is not normal behavior. I hope this is just internet business, but...even my cracked-out fantasy booking isn't this...personal?
ReplyDeleteI've gotten pissed off at art, hell, if we're talking recently, the Avengers angered me way more than it should have. But I don't go around calling Joss Whedon a rapist for what he did to Loki's character, or imply that Scarlet Johannsson is some war criminal for turning in a terrible performance as Black Widow.
ReplyDeleteGetting emotional and worked up about art is...while maybe not sane, it's normal. Art is all about emotions. But it's the crossover to personal attacks that just baffle me.
I think Randy Orton sucks, and maybe he's an actual shit-head, but I don't see Orton cutting heels offense off whenever they get a heat segment going and think he's the fucking devil.
I think it will head that direction. Heyman and company will eventually align with HHH and the Corporation out of self-preservation. Punk & Bryan are a natural alliance due to their similar "not supposed to be the guy" backgrounds and their history raging against the WWE machine. I think Punk & Bryan vs. HHH & Orton could headline a PPV if they played it up right. Why not have them be the "last men standing" at Survivor Series, ala Hogan & Warrior at Survivor Series '90?
ReplyDeleteThe "reluctant allies" thing has been a WWE calling card for YEARS. It would actually be appropriate in this angle too
ReplyDeleteI wouldn't mind seeing Bryan win the World Title after getting screwed out of the WWE title again. Bryan can try to bring some meaning back to the WHC, with the sidebar story that he's carrying around "HHH's trophy belt" against all Corporate challengers. Punk can take the WWE title from Orton, Brock can win the Rumble for his big return. Then do Punk-Brock II (WWE), Taker-Cena, and Bryan-HHH (WHC) at Wrestlemania.
ReplyDeleteIt kind of fits his character too: the dude SO dominant that he only fights when he sees worthwhile competition on the major PPVs
ReplyDeleteRashida Jones, Yes.
ReplyDeleteIt really was. So disappointing too, because those guys could probably have a killer old-school style feud.
ReplyDeleteI took shit personally. But it wasn't...wrestling or comic books. Maybe it's just a huge culture gap, but to me...entertainment is what we do to escape. Why bring in all this insanity and animosity over escapism?
ReplyDelete