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MeekinOnMovies On....DDP Yoga (Impressions).

I think everyone has one or two people on their Facebook friends list that use the social media platform as a scheme to push some product they believe in to the annoyance of others and the benefit of whatever affiliate marketing program they're a part of.

These folks so believe in this product - Plexus Slim, Shakeology, All Day Energy Greens, whatever -  that they lay into you with a golden shower of enthusiasm and quasi-subconscious  "WHY ARENT YOU DOING THIS!?" talking points. When someone is so blatantly enthusiastic about a product, my 'BS' meter goes off. Especially if that product claims to kill the pounds, lose the weight, kick-start my sagging metabolism, or give me rock hard pubic hair.

So it was weird that I was eager to try DDP Yoga. It's weirder still that I really like it. Before I get started I want to let you know that  I'm not trying to sell you anything and my technical mastery of various work out terms is suspect as best. I am to exercise was David Arquette is to WCW World Champions.



 The Setup

The DDP Yoga package is interesting. The deluxe edition I ended up with has 6 DVDs, a heart rate monitor, a booklet (see above), a poster of all the moves, and enough positive energy to jump a dead car battery. It's all contained in a paper / plastic bag kind of thing, and I've taken to carrying my DVDs in a re-purposed "The Sims 2" case for a little more security.

The booklet is pretty wonderfully written and got me to drink the DDP Kool-Aid to a point. He explains his story, how he discovered and invented DDP Yoga, why it works, how it works, what's contained on the DVDs, and it's reassuring as all get out. If you cheat on your diet a day? Just work out a little harder the next. Skip a workout? get back on the wagon. DDP has done a kind of wonderful thing here, positioning himself as a surrogate "Cool" uncle. I have half expecting a "Go get em' champ!" by the end of the booklet.

The actual end of the booklet, when he gets into the nutrition side of things and starts talking about starches, complex carbohydrates, and breaking food down into serving sizes and cup sizes, caused me to go a little cross-eyed, but there is a bevy of quality information in the booklet for those looking to get their diet mostly on track AND get in shape.

Still, considering how approachable the workout has been (so far) it's a bit of a bummer the diet portion is more technical and complicated that I'd like. 



The Workout

Stick your arms out to your sides and flap them up and down 10 times. Now do the same thing again, but while making a clenched fist and flexing where your muscles should be as you can. The second one is a bit harder, right?

I don't want to give away the farm, but it seems the 'secret' to DDP Yoga is the idea of dynamic resistance training, and if how sore I am is any indication, it works like a charm.When DDP refers to it as "Yoga for Regular Guys", he's not kidding. There's several references to making the work out 'your own'. There's a few ways to modify some of the trickier yoga maneuvers if you're lacking in upper or lower body strength - which is good. If you can't bend all the way down, or do a complete push up, he presents a variety of move modifications that still benefit your workout without completely sapping your stamina. In fact that's what I like so much about this particular program.

There's an element of shame to working out for the first time - for me at least. After 27 years of being a somewhat sloth-like human being, taking first steps toward fitness can be a little embarrassing if your weight has made you a self conscious individual. You go jogging and immediately feel intimidated by those who are running faster and with more ease than you are. You try to eat right and naturally someone says something about how the thing you're eating that you thought was good for you, is loaded with sodium or carbs or gluten or some other thing that kind of discourages you from the whole shebang.

But with DDP Yoga, the only person who knows you're making an idiot of yourself is you....and your Xbox One camera if you're a conspiracy theorist. Even better, so far, I haven't felt left behind, or out of shape, or like a fat load with no hope in sight. For whatever it reason it hits a very specific sweet spot that is satisfying and cardio intensive, but not exhausting or overwhelmingly demanding of your chicken-nugget-shaped body.
By the end of the first workout I was sweating, tired, but elated. Filled with so much piss and vinegar I wanted to build a science-fair volcano.
 
I'm three 'official' workouts into DDP Yoga, doing two yesterday and one this morning before work and am about to tackle another after posting this and before checking comments. I've also tackled his 'office' workout which explains the whole concept behind dynamic resistance better than I can. It's pretty freakin' wonderful.


Overall
Right now I'm pretty sore, but it's a satisfying kind of sore. My armpit muscles hurt, my upper arms, my ass hurts, my legs hurt, but at the moment I can't get enough. I can't say with 100 percent certainty that I'm going to stick with it for the rest of my life, nor can I say, yet, if it will change my life.

But thus far, in the proverbial glow of a new thing that promises to make my life a little healthier, while ALSO appealing to me as a pro-wrestling fan (One of the moves is a "Hulk Up" kind of thing, its fun!), I can't get enough.

There's also a wonderful community over at teamddpyoga.com happy to offer advice. I'm not sure how many of them are going to try and sell you the system and get commission, but it never hurts to sign up and have a peek around.

Anyway, this is the most confident I've felt about this kind of thing, ever. I'll come back in a month or so and provide a status update and maybe some kind of before and after and some updated impressions. Until then, I'm down to answer any questions or whatnot as it pertains to a totally out of shape guy bending himself in ways he's only seen in the kinky porno.  

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He's a real Doctor
Hopefully Farva is around to answer any like, medical based questions, and perhaps can speak to the benefits of yoga in general! I've included a picture to the right in case you see him.

Comments

  1. If Farva told me Stevie Wonder was blind, I'd be skeptical.

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  2. Stranger in the AlpsMarch 18, 2014 at 7:35 PM

    Kudos for working in "golden shower" in the second paragraph. Exercise is for suckers.

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  3. "my ass hurts", "I'm pretty sore, but it's a satisfying kind of sore"


    I'm sure.

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  4. A lot hall of famers from this era

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  5. Actually if you do anal play right, go nice and easy and don't go past your limit it shouldn't "hurt". There might be a little soreness but it's nothing bad. And that concludes the TMI section.

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  6. Jesus Christ, "anal play" sounds so much worse than anal sex.

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  7. Would it were so. You mention this at every opportunity.

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  8. Can I ask Paul, I know you have no real way of knowing how DDP Yoga would affect me but is it a program that would be ok for somebody with a bad back? Like how much strain on the back, neck and spine in general is there? I do some very light yoga I learned in physical therapy now. I think I'll check out the site and forums and see what they say and see about maybe getting it.

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  9. Well, at least this something you legitimately are interested in and you aren't just letting NPP work you like a hand puppet

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  10. Stranger in the AlpsMarch 18, 2014 at 7:48 PM

    High five!

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  11. "Hopefully Farva is around to answer any like, medical based questions, and perhaps can speak to the benefits of yoga in general!"

    Or maybe we could ask a real Doctor! #sobrietyorshitfaced

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  12. I think I've mentioned it twice, once when somebody was talking about anal sex with his girlfriend hurting her. And one other time I believe three weeks ago. That's hardly every opportunity.

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  13. Serious note, if this helps you lose weight and improve your heatlh go for it. Human improvement is always a good thing.

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  14. "work you like a hand puppet"



    Also another form of anal play.

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  15. Why? "play" seems like a much softer and fun word and term.

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  16. I know. I just wanted an excuse to type anal play again.

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  17. Black and BluelandMarch 18, 2014 at 7:53 PM

    FEEL. THE. BANG!

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  18. That's what she said. Or he said. Wait, did I do the joke right? Fuck you, figure out the joke yourself!

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  19. All jokes about your well pounded ass aside, I think that it's great that you're taking an interest in getting fit, and I'm marginally interested in the next installment.

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  20. It feels like more than that.

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  21. That's how it all starts.

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  22. Man that was a ringing endorsement

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  23. Wait, weren't we all just making fun of Caliber for doing shit like this?

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  24. I'm a tough crowd.

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  25. What would a shitfaced Parallax sound like? Would he be all nice and talk about his deep underlying respect for women everywhere? Would he go off on a soliloquy about how married women need our help? Go on an angry rant about his disdain for tall people? Or would he slur his typing like a Drunk Murph (I still don't know how that's possible)?

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  26. Stranger in the AlpsMarch 18, 2014 at 7:56 PM

    I think it's really Caliber via Meekin.

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  27. Eh, I guess even at only a couple of times a straight guy talking about anal play on a wrestling blog sticks out and sticks with you a bit more. Sorry if I offended.

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  28. I get that this is a joke...but drunk Parallax was a legit terrible person.

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  29. Ummm, no. What are you talking about? We're above making fun out of Caliber.

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  30. Sober Parallax isn't anything to brag about either.

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  31. Wow I did not see that sort of comment coming

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  32. Stranger in the AlpsMarch 18, 2014 at 7:58 PM

    More than once I've seen you take that "drunk Parallax" joke seriously. You're amping up the respect on this side. You better be careful. I may have to turn face on you.

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  33. Really? I'm just fucking around.


    Come on, I'll buy you a beer.

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  34. There is literally no table small enough for me to be above making fun of Caliber.

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  35. It is definitely a subject I have a hard time taking lightly

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  36. I'm not offended.

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  37. Gotta liquor him up for the anal play.

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  38. Shit. I did not know that. I thought you were always the clean living type. It sounds like it's no longer a temptation, though, and you seem pretty damn sure of your direction and current lifestyle (which is a good thing).

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  39. It wouldn't hurt to try a few moves to see how it feels. Yoga is very therapeutic.

    I was paralyzed 10 years ago due to..well...a long story. I can walk now, but it was after a LOT of therapy. My left leg still has a lot of problems. My balance is awful. I've been doing DDP yoga for a while and it has been a godsend.

    I think the introductory course is free on the website. Also you could try going to a class at a gym, if you belong, and seeing what it's like. Yoga teachers are usually pretty nice and friendly, so they'll understand.

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  40. That's how you do it.

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  41. Eh, Caliber was talking about doing a weekly or more fitness/workout article a week that somehow would incorporate wrestlers workouts. It was going to be an ongoing thing and nobody really seemed interested. Meanwhile this is probably going to be two articles a month a part about a specific workout connected with a wrestler. Also when Paul asked about this more than a few people chimed in saying this could be interesting.

    The big thing though is Paul is pretty up front about not being in shape and being a novice to working out. He's not trying to fake being a big workout expert who works at a gym and gets asked if he's a wrestler every day. I can relate and respect this article more than anything Caliber would have written on the subject.

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  42. Petuka's not above it, either. He took his brother's inactive account and renamed it last week to make a joke, and then he realized it was almost as much fun as someone creating a JeffHardysInnerMonologue account.

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  43. Scott's leaving money on the Petuka.

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  44. No. I never did drugs or smoked (literally never) but I drank a LOT. I quit nearly 8 years ago and haven't looked back.

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  45. I'm sorry to hear that but it's good that you cleaned up and staying on the right path. I had a couple of drunk relatives who were good people sober but complete shitheads when drunk. I don't drink much at all myself. Not some grand choice and I don't abstain but I kinda outgrew it. Weed as well, use to smoke every other weekend, now I haven't smoked in over a year.

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  46. Thanks Mr Simpson, because of you we're all taking golden showers!

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  47. I said the same thing earlier today. Don't know why I just always assumed Para was always straight edge or whatever and had never done anything before.

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  48. I think you will find that the most devoted people to something, whether it be religion, or sXe or whatever are people that used to do the thing they are now against. Just an observation.

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  49. That's good. I try to avoid the subject on here... not because it is a sore spot or anything like that, but I just turn into a giant cock wad when I know I am right about something and it is something I am passionate about.

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  50. And I'm leaving bees on the table.

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  51. I'm so confused. Petuka has a brother? And whoever would make a Jeff Hardy parody account sounds like an awesome person. Assuming it has nothing to do with laughing of course.

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  52. I left something on the future Mrs. Petuka

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  53. I was hoping someone would like that.

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  54. Getting in shape really isn't hard. Calorie deficits, Harris benediction formula. This advice is free

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  55. JeffHardysInnerDialogueMarch 18, 2014 at 8:12 PM

    And I'm snorting them.

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  56. I'd go with what Kenny says, but of ALL the things that hurt on me today, my back is not one of them. So take that for what it's worth.

    Anything involving your neck or shoulders seems to be focused on stretching / loosening them versus putting any actual pressure. I have no idea if there's eventually like, hand stands involved in the "hardcore" workouts, but the most back intensive move is probably a pushup, and even then he says if you feel winded, all you have to do is tuck your legs under your tummy and lay down flat with your arms outstretched and breath.

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  57. C'mere. I'll tickle ya, big guy!

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  58. I think you and I have discussed it before... but it is amazing that common sense like "Calorie deficit" could bring the sham of a billion dollar industry that is the dieting industry to its knees if people would just understand it.

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  59. I still want to refund it.

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  60. Is drinking "wrong" for everyone? Even those who are not legitimately terrible people when consuming?

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  61. Petuka didn't feel like creating an account (and didn't know if the Chan verification process was still in effect), so he took an old one. Petuka actually has four brothers. One of them reads the site regularly and is a lurker, and another one posted here briefly.

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  62. It's literally the only way to lose weight outside of surgery. It's amazing weight loss is such a mystery. No shortcuts but it's so straight forward.

    If you're overweight and don't care, that's one thing but people that act like it's impossible or its a mystery on how to lose weight are so annoying

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  63. Best. Gimmick. Ever.

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  64. "No carbs after 2"

    "If you run to much you actually burn less calories"

    It is all such nonsense that can be solved by like 6th grade biology... people just don't want to hear it.

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  65. Wait, why are you referring to yourself in the 3rd person? I'm still confused. Did I miss something?

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  66. See my above comment about what an asshole I turn into when talking about this. I'll start off innocently enough, but when people end up disagreeing I just become a complete dick hole, so if you don't mind I'd rather not go any further.

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  67. I think it's simple in theory but tough in practice. I mean so many people grow up with food being like this great indulegence. We win at baseball we go out for pizza. I get an A+ I get Taco Bell, shit like that. You grow up and those grow into real habits. Toss in videogames overtaking like, actual outside playing and concerns of sports being physically harmful, it's easy to see how people like me can grow up and be so out of shape and kind of intimidated by starting. Toss in cravings for what you used to enjoy eating, oral fixations, and shit it's a nightmare.

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  68. "Did I miss something?"

    The 1990's?

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  69. No, you're good. I just saw way too many Petuka name drops below and decided to get in on it.

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  70. You are a fascinating character Mr Parallax.

    I'm happy that you have found peace in sobriety. For some, that is most definitely the way.

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  71. I think myself, you and The Table need to form a gimmick stable.

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  72. Wow man, good on you. Didn't know there was somebody else here with history of major spinal problems. Whenever you have time I would like to hear your story no matter how long. I broke L5 in a car accident when a truck t boned us on my (passenger) side. This also led to multiple herniated, bulging discs as well as degenerative disc disease. It didn't happen right away but I wound up in a wheelchair for eight months or so. I wasn't paralyzed but my legs weren't working well anymore, I couldn't hold weight on them and they constantly went out on me.

    After two surgeries and like you a shit load of PT I'm able to walk. Funny enough my left leg is the one that gives me the most trouble as well sometimes going out on me. I also deal with pain everyday but I've gotten kinda used to it.

    I've wanted to delve deeper into yoga but I was never sure if it would hurt and aggregate my back more than it helped. The small amount I do (as well as the other light excercises I learned in PT) don't feel bad and do help. I think I'll pick up DDP Yoga and see how it goes. I don't belong to a gym but I've thought about joining. Right now I walk everyday around the block twice. I wonder if a gym could help me expand my "work out". Thanks for the advice man.

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  73. A cheat day does wonders for cravings. It's just a life style adjustment. At this point if I eat unhealthy or don't work out for a few days, I feel worse and guilty.

    What you eat is just as important as exercising. I swear by the Harris benedict formula. You'll get there, just make the commitment and you'll lose weight. It's really pretty straightforward if you commit

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  74. Yeah but what is with the brother thing?

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  75. Thank you sir

    Man there is way too much niceness going on here... I need to go fuck someone's wife/girlfriend... Petuka don't you need to like leave the house for a while?

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  76. I like this article. It fills me with...hope?

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  77. So I should cut back on my roll of Oreo cookies a night with large glass if milk while I watch the Network, if I want to eventually get back into High School/College in shale version of me?

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  78. I really hope you when you say drinking is wrong for everyone, your talking about health reasons.

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  79. But if this was a Saturday, you'd hate it.

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  80. The one who used to post here briefly--I hijacked his account to make the gimmicked account. I didn't feel like creating a new one because I thought there might still be a Chan verification process and I was impatient. I made it much more complicated than it needed to be, but that's okay.

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  81. HunterHorseHelmsleyMarch 18, 2014 at 8:27 PM

    Can I get in on that?

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  82. We aren't allowed to talk to him about that as we post too much and he can't possibly keep up... or something.

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  83. Single or double stuffed?

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  84. If we dont get a NIPPLE H or BRET THE SHITMAN FART gimmick, we are failing as a blog

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  85. JeffHardysInnerDialogueMarch 18, 2014 at 8:29 PM

    I think a drug ring is a better idea.

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  86. Thanks for posting this. I've been thinking about doing it. I need to do something.

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  87. Stranger in the AlpsMarch 18, 2014 at 8:30 PM

    Who is this guy? I'm here quite a bit, but I'm not familiar with him.

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  88. JeffHardysInnerDialogueMarch 18, 2014 at 8:30 PM

    If you were a drug mule instead of a horse, then yes.

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  89. He said we are all a bunch of fucking losers for getting together on her on Saturday nights and watching a PPV on the network... fortunately his criticisms didn't lead to any unplanned relationships, unlike someone else I know.

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  90. Really, you don't recognize the dude with a random name, random number and no avatar?

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  91. Stranger in the AlpsMarch 18, 2014 at 8:31 PM

    Surprisingly, no

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  92. HunterHorseHelmsleyMarch 18, 2014 at 8:32 PM

    These guys may like you, but I think you're a bit of a ..HORSES ASS!

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  93. I'll keep you posted. I'm probably the laziest human being on the planet so it's entirely possible the shine will wear off of this, but thus far I don't think it will. If it doesn't I'll post again and update you. It's expensive but it seems worth it.

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  94. Stranger in the AlpsMarch 18, 2014 at 8:32 PM

    At least I haven't led to any unplanned pregnancies.

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  95. Night used to post a lot more a year or two ago. As far as I can remember, he wrote very well even if he was disagreeable. I guess you could say that about most of us, though.

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  96. Well that's ironic considering that is how Night81 happened.

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  97. Is, I don't have a cheat day but if I really want something unhealthy every once in a while I indulge. I also don't go overboard with it, I satisfy the craving and then move on. Don't throw out the entire "diet" (not a fan of diets for real, sustaining weight loss, more of an entire eating habit change) because you ate something unhealthy.

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  98. LOL! You know, it's the drug references that make your gimmick work.

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  99. The thing that gets me is ice cream. Cant keep it in the house.

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  100. See I prefer junk "food" for my cheat days... burgers, pizza etc...

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  101. HunterHorseHelmsleyMarch 18, 2014 at 8:37 PM

    Don't be such a neigh-sayer!
    As a gimmick, I really think you're pasture prime!

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  102. Ever tried Rice Cream?

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  103. I sure hope he has gimmick insurance. (and it's the "I sure hope he has random object/body part insurance" that puts your gimmick over the top).

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  104. LOL! I laughed so hard, you left me.....horse!! LOL! Ouch!

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  105. Yeah this, I don't get why it's that hard to figure out. Don't go for the easy way out with a pill or shake. I also don't understand why others can't follow this especially with the web sites out there to guide you.

    I know I still look a bit big but I used to be much bigger and have really lost a shit ton of weight (I went from 315 to now about 225). I recently gained a bit back (about 15 pounds) but that really had to do with having to be off my thyroid meds which seriously fucks with my metabolism. I'm working on getting back down and going even further.

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  106. I never done it but i dont see any real benefits of regular yoga. It isnt weigh training so it wont continually burn calories during resting periods and doesnt improve strength. Its not cardio work so it doesnt strengthed your cardiovascular system. Its primarily for flexiblity and balance, right?

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  107. What do you think of DDP's protege Arthur (I think that was his name...the youtube dude)? Do you think the workout could genuinely help someone so injured?

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  108. HunterHorseHelmsleyMarch 18, 2014 at 8:42 PM

    LOL! You'd better hope you have trampled-by-a-horse insurance if you don't leave the horse puns to me pal!

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  109. Me too, much rather have a burger from Five Guys or a slice of NY Style pizza than a "snack". It's funny how I used to drink a lot of soda but after not drinking it for an extended period of time when I try some now I don't like it. It tastes way too sugary and syrupy.

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  110. Clearly, this gimmick stable is already at odds with each other.

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  111. Monster makes a zero calorie energy drink that I use to fill that particular void.

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  112. I'm wondering that myself. There is no "fix" for me but it would be great to find something that could improve on my injuries. Maybe reduce the pain as well as more flexibility and strength.

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  113. Welcome to the BoD new gimmick poster.

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