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Impact Wrestling - April 24, 2014

Impact Wrestling
Date: April 24, 2014
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Taz, Mike Tenay

Reviewed by Tommy Hall

It's the go home show for Sacrifice and we have most of the card set up if you can remember some of the matches we've heard discussed here or there. Things are being set up for the TV show week to week, which defeats the purpose of having monthly PPVs but it's TNA so you know they have to screw up something every now and then. Let's get to it.


Angle is warming up in the back and says if Spud backs out of their match tonight, he's coming for EC3.

We recap the World Title change from a few weeks ago and last week's Monster's Ball match.

Here's Magnus with what looks like a grappling hook. He calls out Abyss because it's the Monster's fault that Magnus lost the title. Magnus calls Abyss a blithering idiot. The weapon in his hand is part of a turnbuckle and Magnus yells at Abyss for not coming down to ringside. Abyss says he'd be fired if he came down so Magnus fires him anyway. The monster says that it was never about the money but wanting to belong to someone. Abyss says he's still a monster and looks to want a fight but here's MVP to interrupt.

MVP says calm down and that Abyss isn't his favorite person after Abyss hit him with a chair a few weeks ago. However, MVP is all about second chances so maybe Abyss should be offered a full time spot on the roster if he can win his match tonight. That match is of course against Magnus and MVP literally skips away. Abyss is thrilled and promises to take care of Magnus tonight.

Spud tells EC3 to save the speech this week but EC3 cuts him off and says last week he saw a ghost. It was actually real though and there's only one man that can beat Angle: Carter himself. Tonight Spud needs to be a gazelle for Carter. Ethan adjusts Spud's tie and the picture is starting to make sense to the Rockster.

Rockstar Spud vs. Kurt Angle

Spud goes for a leg dive and is literally thrown across the ring. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker puts Spud down and Angle no sells everything until Carter trips him up to give Spud quick control. Angle runs the ropes for the suplex and the ankle lock gets the win at 2:04.

Ethan clips Angle post match but Willow makes the save.

The Beautiful People promise to give Madison a makeover.

Kenny King is in MVP's office when the boss comes in. King thinks he should be the top name on this program so MVP gives him a match right now.

Here's Madison Rayne for even more talking. She calls out the Beautiful People so here's Angelina to yell at her for trying to be a role model. Madison apologizes and the fight is on until the numbers catch up with her. They load up the bag but Brittany comes in to try for a save. That goes as well as you would expect and Velvet hits In Yo Face to Madison. Now Rayne gets the bag.

Mr. Anderson has something special planned for Samuel Shaw tonight.

Gail Kim wants to team up with Madison to help fight the Beautiful People. Madison accepts and Brittany promises to be there again.

Kenny King vs. Bobby Lashley

Lashley easily throws King down a few times to start and runs him over before throwing King off a headlock. King bails to the floor and tries to sneak up on Bobby, only to have Lashley pull a reverse leapfrog into a powerslam. Lashley moves the referee out of the corner and blocks a pike in the eye but gets caught by the other hand. King snaps Bobby's throat across the top rope and scores with a springboard missile dropkick.

Bobby fights back with pure power and hits a hard shoulder in the corner. Lashley grabs King's boot to the ribs but gets kicked in the head. King tries a Blockbuster but gets caught in mid air for a suplex. That looked awesome. King dives away to avoid the spear and takes the countout at 5:37.

Rating: D+. The Blockbuster counter was awesome but this was a VERY dull match otherwise. It was basically a squash until King walked out at the end. I'm not sure how seeing Kenny getting beaten up for four minutes and then leaving makes me want to see him fight even more but there are a lot of things I don't get in TNA.

Mr. Anderson goes to see Samuel Shaw's family and the mom's name is Christy. Anderson's face is rather amusing. More on this later.

Beer Money has a talk in the back and after ranting about history a bit, Storm wants credit for making Gunner what he is today.

Austin Aries vs. MVP

This is a result of Aries turning his back on MVP at Lockdown and then losing the match. Aries grabs a cravate to start but MVP takes over with a wristlock. A nice flip gets Aries out of a headlock and he nails MVP with a low dropkick. MVP comes right back with a facebuster and the Ballin Elbow but Aries bails outside. The boss dives onto Aries as the announcers are in their own little world. Aries dropkicks him back to the floor and hits a top rope ax handle so let's talk about Abyss.

Back in and the slingshot hilo sets up a running elbow drop for two on MVP and a middle rope elbow to the back gets the same. Aries misses the running dropkick but bites his way out of a standing choke. MVP comes right back with a discus lariat for two but walks into a facebuster to put both guys down. Aries misses a 450 and the Drive By is good for the pin at 6:38.

Rating: C. It's the best match and segment of the night but I'm still not interested in what they're doing here. That's the story of the entire show so far: it's just not all that interesting and things aren't getting much better. MVP beating Aries changes nothing and it ends a storyline that didn't have a lot of interest in the first place. How does seeing this make me want to buy Sacrifice?

Video on Sanada.

Back at the Shaw house with the mom straight out of Leave it to Beaver talking about how talented her son is. She's baking homemade apple pie for Samuel who still lives in the basement. So what was the apartment he took Christy to a few months ago?

James Storm/Bobby Roode vs. Bully Ray/Gunner

Storm grabs a headlock on Ray after a break but both members of Beer Money are taken down with backdrops. Gunner comes in to work on Storm's arm as we hear about their latest gimmick match on Sunday, this one being an I Quit match. Ray fights out of the corner but Roode distracts the referee so Storm can crotch him against the post. Storm: “IT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE FAT!”

Back in and Roode cranks on a front facelock until Ray fights up, only to be slammed back down. Ray comes back with a suplex and makes the hot tag to Gunner for some house cleaning. Gunner plays D-Von for What's Up on Storm and it's table time. Ray misses an elbow from the apron to drive himself through the table. Back inside Gunner hits an F5 on Roode but walks into the Last Call for the pin at 7:05.

Rating: C-. Nothing wrong with mixing up two feuds, but at the end of the day I've seen Gunner vs. Storm so many times now that I'm not interested in it anymore. Roode vs. Ray is fine but I've pretty much forgotten why they're fighting (and no I'm not asking people to tell me). The match was fine though.

Magnus says it's his time.

Anderson goes downstairs with the mom giving a creepy wave as the door shuts. Mr. sees something and says oh my god as we go to a break.

Anderson looks at the room and it's designed like an 8 year old's. Shaw comes in and does something as the cameraman leaves. The mom is still the same kind of Stepford Wife that she was before and hugs her son as he comes up from the basement. Creepy, creepy segment.

Beautiful People vs. Gail Kim/Madison Rayne

Madison cleans house to start and the Beautiful People are knocked to the floor for a double dropkick through the ropes. Velvet and Madison are back in the ring now for Madison's crotch slam to the mat before it's back to Gail for some right hands and a clothesline. Kim misses a charge into the corner and it's off to Angelina for some shots to the face. She gets caught in the corner for Gail's running cross body to the ribs though and everything breaks down.

Back in for a leg choke from Gail to make Angelina look annoyed. Sky's distraction breaks up the hold and Angelina grabs a sleeper, only to have Gail come out with a backbreaker. Rayne comes back in for a bad looking enziguri as the crowd goes SILENT. Not for a botch or anything but because they just don't seem interested. Thankfully Angelina gets the hint and rolls up Madison with a handful of tights for the pin at 5:00.

Rating: D. The crowd told the whole story here. There was just nothing interesting going on out there and the people didn't care. It's the same story we've seen about 8,000 times now in this division and nothing has changed at all. The Beautiful People aren't interesting as there's no one to fight them because TNA can't make new stars for this division. Where was Brittany either?

Knux is back at the carnival with I think his ex-girlfriend. He says he has to go back to Impact because it's what he does best. She'll be supportive of him for the first time, but says she's going with him.

Abyss says he lost sight of the one person who cares about him and tonight is for him.

The Wolves want the Tag Team Titles. It's a handicap match with Zema Ion joining the Bro Mans.

We run down the PPV card.

Magnus vs. Abyss

Eric Young comes out for commentary and if Abyss wins he gets a full time job. Abyss takes him into the corner to start and nails some clotheslines before launching the Brit to the floor. Back with Magnus working on the leg as Abyss is supposed to be a face after being all violent for so many weeks. The leg is wrapped around the post but Abyss grabs him by the throat.....and Magnus kicks him low for the DQ at 7:40.

Rating: D. Well that....happened. It's angle advancement but much like the rest of this show, the angles aren't all that interesting. This was supposed to be a big face turn for Abyss I think, but it really doesn't work when he spent the last few weeks trying to torture the new top face.

Post match Magnus beats on him with a chair until Young comes down and gets beaten down as well.

An ad for the fallout show from Sacrifice eats up the last minute. Not an ad FOR THE PAY PER VIEW mind you, but an ad for the TV show you just watched.

Overall Rating: D. This was a really boring show. That's the best word to describe it as almost nothing on here made me want to watch another show going forward. It's a bunch of ideas we've seen before with a lot of the same characters and nothing that has been made better by changing around the faces. Sacrifices just does not need to be a PPV as TNA currently feels like a bunch of old ideas thrown into a blender and put on mix to see if it works better if you twist everything around. Shockingly enough, it's not working.

Results
Kurt Angle b. Rockstar – Ankle lock
Bobby Lashley b. Kenny King via countout
MVP b. Austin Aries – Drive By
Bobby Roode/James Storm b. Gunner/Bully Ray – Last Call to Gunner
Beautiful People b. Madison Rayne/Gail Kim – Rollup to Rayne
Abyss b. Magnus via DQ when Magnus kicked Abyss low


Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Comments

  1. TJ: Warrior makes a confession before his death:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N3CDDu4AYSg

    (I'm sure most of us have seen this)

    ReplyDelete
  2. Man this just looks horrible. Samuel Shaw seems like the least credible man ever and this was before I even read about the segments in his mothers basement. Even as a mark, what the fuck makes people care about any of this? These guys just seem like a bunch of lower midcarders pretending to be awesome. Even Derrick Bateman, a guy I regularly defend, really shouldn't have had a better role career-wise than funny midcard tag guy, and hes the fucking kayfabe son of someone who completely missed the boat on being a heat magnet by about a year? WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK?

    ReplyDelete
  3. You know...I wonder if the Wolves regret making the jump given just how awful things have been lately.

    And what about Kenny King. His career fucking DIED when he jumped ship.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Yeah, but he's making....um, well at least he's in a stable compa....hey, is that Jeff Jarrett's business card?

    ReplyDelete
  5. Well, Davey napalmed almost every bridge he had. If he didn't go to TNA, it seemed like literally the only other option he had in the world was DGUSA/Evolve because Dave apparently forgives everyone eventually.

    Eddie should have cut loose from Davey and either stayed with ROH or tried again with the WWE. He's too good for this.

    And yeah, Kenny King probably cries himself to sleep at night. It could not have worked out worse for him. Even TJP gets more checks in that stupid Suicide suit...although TJP is going to be screwed one the company finally dies.

    ReplyDelete
  6. Davey was a big enough star for them that ROH might still play ball. Might, and only in a reduced role I'd wager

    Eddie should cut ties. He surpassed Davey years ago.

    TJP didn't burn bridges did he, is there a reason he can't return to the indys.

    Kenny King proved himself untrustworthy and is pretty much fucked no matter what.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Yeah, I just want this Shaw Anderson feud to die already.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Gee, I wonder if they're setting up a shocking swerve of Abyss helping Magnus on Sunday....

    ReplyDelete
  9. No chance ROH takes Davey back. The man has burned so many bridges he's wanted for arson in 4 states. Eddie would probably be welcomed back with open arms (I wouldn't mind seeing him in the Decade instead of Whitmer) but Davey is through.


    As for Kenny.....if I'm him, I at least reach out to ROH and see if the bridge is completely burned. Yeah, he fucked them the way he bailed, but an ANX reunion (or feud, depending) might draw.


    And there's always Jarrett's new enterprise, assuming of course the first thing Jeff doesn't do is put his world title on himself.

    ReplyDelete
  10. If Bret Hart can make nice with the WWE, then I wouldn't GURUNTEE. Davey and ROH will never make nice

    ReplyDelete

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