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The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW–02.07.94

The SmarK Legacy Rant for Monday Night RAW - February 7 1994

- Taped from Bushkill, PA.

- Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Bastion Booger. Mike Shaw is a funny guy, but I don't see this turning out well.

The Smoking Gunns v. Barry Horowitz & Reno Riggins

This may literally be the greatest tag team match, no, the greatest ANYTHING in the history of the universe. The jobber dream team immediately double-teams Billy in the corner with double Nash chokes, but Bart comes in (illegally) with a high cross on both jobbers. Horowitz accidentally backdrops Riggins and they get into an argument on the floor. Come on, the breakup of the Rockers was hard enough on me, not these two as well! Bart works on Reno with a suplex while Vince notes that the Steiners were unable to defeat the Quebecers in a 10 minute challenge this past week on Superstars, which has essentially put them out of the tag title picture. That's kind of a burial, no wonder the Steiners left. Gunns finish Riggins with the move that would later be called The Sidewinder at 3:38. Well, Barry and Reno let me down as usual. Someday Barry will win, I'm sure of it.

Meanwhile, on All-American, Owen Hart and Bret Hart cut promos explaining their reasoning behind their upcoming match. Bret's Stu Hart shirt is quite awesome.

Owen Hart v. John Paul

A great bit of heeldom from Owen, as he finds a kid to ringside who wants the glasses, and then tears them up in front of him. Owen works the arm and gets a backbreaker for two, then cuts off Paul's comeback with a leg lariat for two. Enzuigiri and Sharpshooter finishes at 3:38.

IRS v. Marty Jannetty

We'll see if Marty is able to perform better than he did against Polo last week. He gets a pair of sloppy dropkicks and a back elbow that barely gets any hangtime, and IRS bails. Back in, Marty works on a headlock, but IRS takes him down with a drop toehold. They fight to the floor, and Marty takes a nice bump into the post, doing a 180 sell in a way that would make Sir Isaac Newton go "What the FUUUUCK?" Back in, Marty with a sunset flip for two, and the Quebecers join us at ringside as we take a break. They beat the crap out of Marty during the break, which had to be an attempt to set up Quebecers v. Kid & Marty for Wrestlemania. So how did we arrive at Quebecers v. MOM? Back to "live" "action", as IRS comes off the top and hits Marty's foot, and Marty gets a small package for two. IRS goes to the ABDOMINAL STRETCH OF INTENSE DISCOMFORT, but Marty hiptosses out. Irwin with the chinlock as Vince notes that Marty seems to have superhuman stamina. Yeah, almost as if he's, I dunno, on a shitload of drugs or something. Marty comes back with a powerslam and a superkick, but now Johnny Polo joins us with his trusty pool cue. As does Razor Ramon, albeit without a weapon. Marty clotheslines IRS for two. And now the Quebecers are back as this is just all kinds of overbooked. Marty ends up on the apron, where Polo trips him up, and IRS gets the pin at 8:56. Razor cleans house, but the Quebecers proceed with the beatdown until Marty saves. So out of all this it's, I'm guessing, Ramon & Jannetty v. Quebecers for the tag titles next week. Marty was looking really lethargic and shitty at this point and disappeared again soon after. **

- Vince confirms that in two weeks (due to the dog show next week) it'll be the tag title match.

Thurman Plugg (His Friends Call Him Sparky) v. Duane Gill

Plugg controls with armdrags and a high kick, then slugs Gill off the apron. Back in, dropkick and slam follows as Vince notes that Sparky is an "electric performer". Someone should send that joke to the Democrats in Connecticut and use it against Linda. Powerslam gets two, and a suplex sets up a flying kneedrop (the "Overhead Cam", you see) at 3:00. You'd almost have to feel bad for Bob Holly if he didn't go on to be a huge asshole.

Crush v. A Jobber Named Thornberg

I think that's what Vince called him. Crush takes him down with an armbar and pounds away as Vine announces Crush v. Savage at Wrestlemania in a falls count anywhere match. Crush with his martial arts kicks and he follows with a military press and legdrop for the pin at 2:34.

In two weeks: The Quebecers v. Marty Jannetty & Razor Ramon for the tag titles! Plus Bret Hart v. A Heavenly Body! We don't know which one, but you've got a 50/50 shot at guessing!

Comments

  1. It's so funny what a shitty show this was until the Monday Night Wars became a thing. If for no other reason, we should all be thankful to Uncle Eric for making Monday a solid wrestling night.

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  2. I can't recall when TSN first started airing Raw up here in the hinterland but it sure seems like i didn't miss much.


    Superstars & The Action Zone seem like the superior show until 1995.

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  3. I used to love when they made two shitty jobbers be a tag team on raw or superstars. I fondly remember this show because of Barry and Reno getting into an argument.

    Another great one was years ago in the mid 80's shows bayless is reviewing the brooklyn brawler and mike Sharpe get into it in the ring and even got to do promos the next week. Nothing better than seeing two stupid jobbers fighting each other (expect maybe seeing two stupid jobbers try and team up)

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  4. Bastion Booger of all people. (talking within the confines of his gimmick and how actually came across as intelligent. Sometimes).. I wonder how that choice was made. Still better than Crush, though.

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  5. I will be impressed if Scott does this until the show stopped using jobbers around 1996 or so.

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  6. 1995 is going to be a LONG year.

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  7. Superstars was not much of an improvement. That show actually had more squash matches than RAW plus this was around the time Superstars started having kids do ring announcing for a couple of matches. Most of the kids botched the intros so badly it would make you long for the horrible voice of Justin Roberts.

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  8. Thurman Plugg.
    His enemies call him "Butt."

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  9. Shows like Superstars and Action Zone were heavy on the in-ring action, whereas Raw had more promos and stuff that advanced angles.

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  10. Bound for Glory 2014! Coming to you live from Bushkill, PA!!!

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  11. I get that Bobby Heenan was irreplaceable, but was there a reason that Raw kept rotating in horrible color man after horrible color man?

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  12. I remember on one episode of Superstars in 1995 the color commentator (maybe Lawler or Hendrix) joked about a kid not being able to read because they read the introductions so poorly. Funny, yet so wrong at the same time.

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  13. I guess they were mostly auditioning guys to become the new color man as it seemed they were pretty desperate to find a good one during that time.

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  14. 1995 really isn't THAT bad for RAW. You get a few good angles and there are some fun matches mixed in like the Gunns-Holly/1-2-3 Kid, a six man tag where the British Bulldog, Mabel, and Dean Douglas just annihilate Diesel, HBK, and the Undertaker, a decent Bigelow-Diesel title defense, etc. Recapping a squash show like Superstars is much worse.


    1996 is death (and I recapped that one for the blog) so since I made it through that I think I could personally make it through anything. I know some people have recommended me do it for "What the World Was Watching" after I finish 1998, but I always leave it up for a vote in terms of what I do next.

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  15. They did the same thing in 1998 with Cole and Lawler. I'm amazed it took them so long to pull the trigger on putting Lawler with Ross full time because Cole/Ross sucked. The difference between hour 1 and hour 2 of RAW back then was like night and day.

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  16. Yeah, I hate how the New Generation era gets a bad rap due to revisionist history. It wasn't that bad, plus some pretty awesome things happened during that period too.

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  17. Vince didn't know what to do after Heenan left...he didn't know what to do when Heenan was there, remember Rob Bartlett? But yeah this was a particularly dark time for Raw in terms of color commentators. However, watching today, the unintentional comedy is off the charts.

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  18. Yeah. Business was poor, but they had some good and memorable characters. What makes watching the product a tad frustrating is that they built a lot of angles for house shows, so you see a feud develop and then never see the blowoff unless said feud revolved around a big pay-per-view (this is more a criticism of 1993 and 1994 than 1995 when they moved to monthly pay-per-views).


    I'm always a mark for 1995 because that's when I started watching the product, so looking at shows from that era I kind of escape to what it felt like watching a lot of stuff for the first time and thinking it was all real.

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  19. That is true but also Jerry Lawler was away due to some "legal troubles" But still don't get the random rotating of heel wrestlers to use while he was away. Just put in Ted Dibiase. He was there at the Rumble!!

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  20. Cole always got the nod cause he was a pet project of KEvin Dunn, explaining his entire career.

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  21. That tag match was actually kid and Ramon v the Quebecers. No reason was given for the change.

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  22. Barry Horowitz and Steve Lombardi actually WON a tag match on Prime Time Wrestling in 1987.

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  23. Superstars was probably at least as important was Raw until their syndication package died in 1995 (Diesel beat Ramon for the IC belt on Superstars, not Raw).

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  24. I loved 1995 too, just because my 3 favorite wrestlers (Nash, HBK, Owen) were all champions at the same time.

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  25. I wish I could upvote this more times.

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  26. Too big. The Fernwood Resort Arena holds 1600 people.

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  27. When it came to squash matches, it got bad. You might get a decent feature, but even as a kid watching, I had a hard time sitting through it. I'd rather watch Mania which spliced the good stuff from Raw and Superstars and cut out all the filler garbage.

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  28. So is Rotanda not as good as I remember or just...not trying harder than Vince did with coming up with a gimmick for him?

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  29. I'm pretty sure if I saw Bob Holly I'd say "hi Thurman"

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  30. These shows sound like shit

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  31. That Fernwood Resort is pretty cool actually. I was at the match when Bret defended the title against The Kid. Nice golf course too. Cool mix of deep in the woods and playing through condos.

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  32. Did he ask Ashley Massaro to help him design this mess?

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  33. Your_Favourite_LoserApril 28, 2014 at 3:30 PM

    hey, are you gonna post a...

    oh

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  34. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryApril 28, 2014 at 3:30 PM

    "I'll never eat ice cream again!"


    I'm actually in one of the reaction videos on YouTube. No, I'm not posting a link.

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  35. Surely. I think a lot of folks fail to pick up on the fact I thoroughly enjoy doing Andy Kaufman kinda stuff like this pretty occasionally just to see what happens.

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  36. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryApril 28, 2014 at 3:32 PM

    I'm not sifting through the couple thousand videos like that find it even if I did want to post it.


    Think that's the only video where you can see my face. I've uploaded a few, but I'm always behind the camera.

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  37. Really, you wanna talk about shit Meekin. That's the best you can do.

    it's a good thing for you I heard there is an opening in the BoD custodial department.

    Maybe you can clean up your SHIT PERFORMANCE.

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  38. No Meekin. They know why you do it.

    That's why they think it's stupid attention whoring and npt ignorance.

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  39. This thread sucks.

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  40. Sorry guys I disagree this is an epic trolling belt.. kudos the Matt he knows exactly how much this will piss people off! Heck I'm intrigued I may even watch Roth for the first time in 4 years.

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  41. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryApril 28, 2014 at 3:40 PM

    When did Edge get fired?

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  42. Mike Rotunda/Rotundo = excellent wrestler. IRS = not (largely because he's wrestling in formal attire).

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  43. Too much trying to get over the boring taxman gimmick. Varsity Club Rotunda was in a groove.

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  44. The first one I ever remember was in the fall of 1994, it involved a Bulldog vs Anvil match, and a Blayze/Morgan vs Luna/Bull Nakano tag match.

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  45. Charlie Minn!!". Ugh

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  46. MY EYES! THE GOGGLES DO NOTHING!

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  47. Mister_E_Studd_Got100ProblemsApril 28, 2014 at 3:46 PM

    That's a pretty dumb looking belt even without that human pile of Meekin's face in the middle of it.

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  48. He doesn't get credit for it, but Matt has a lot of self-awareness and knows not to take himself very seriously. Stuff like this and Matt Hardy V1 prove that.

    Also, I don't get all the Hardyz hate. Yeah it's easy to mock their antics, but in addition to being a kickass tag team with a lot of great matches, they could really go as singles guys too. Matt used to have fantastic TV matches on a nearly regular basis, and Jeff became a really good worker towards the end of his WWE run ( see his matches with Umaga, HHH and Punk) and was much more than a "spot monkey". Not to mention they were practically always over.

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  49. Jobber123 qotd:
    If you have Steve Austin, Bobby Eaton and Terry Taylor as 3/4 of a tag team match is there anyway you can fuck it up?

    Answer: Yes, Great American Bash 91

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  50. I told you it wouldn't move that much.

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  51. Hey, at least he cracked faster than we thought.

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  52. Who the fuck did the job to those two guys and what did they do to Vince to deserve that rib?

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  53. The biggest one in the history of our sport!

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  54. The Ghost of Faffner HallApril 28, 2014 at 3:53 PM

    Sounds about right. The first one I remember had Bob Backlund vs. Doink, which I believe was even later in 94, like December maybe.

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  55. TJ: how do you get posting privileges?

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  56. I like my wrestling cards like I like my restaurant menus. I only want a couple matches. The fact that Jr just told me there's 10 more matches after the scaffolding one isn't a good sign for the rest of this show.

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  57. Wait the main event is paul e and arn vs Missy and rick Steiner???????? Oh my god

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  58. Mister_E_Studd_Got100ProblemsApril 28, 2014 at 3:56 PM

    It's not easy, you have to be a really polished writer, with a lot of great ideas for articles.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Do I send my work, or just the tryout?

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  60. Can't wait for Meekin's new book, "Controversy Creates Crap".

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  61. Stranger in the AlpsApril 28, 2014 at 3:59 PM

    Type up a review of something, email it to Scott, and he'll give you a tryout. If enough peoplem say they like it, you'll gte posting privileges. Althought, after today, Scott might want to reconsider.

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  62. The good news: Missy never makes it to the ring.


    The bad news: Rick Steiner does.

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  63. Thanks, I was thinking of doing a few retro pieces on the now gone PWO/Prime wrestling, though the use of review and videos.

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  64. Mister_E_Studd_Got100ProblemsApril 28, 2014 at 4:03 PM

    Just make sure to play it really cool and act like you're doing Scott a favour by posting on s blog.
    That'll do the trick.

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  65. Two best moments of the kid ring announcers deal:
    One kid seeing "lbs." on the card and saying "lebs" rather than "pounds".
    Another kid introducing the Bushwhackers at a combined weight of 49 lbs. (rather than 499). The heel commentator (Lawler, I think) immediately responds by saying that is the amount of sardines Luke and Butch ate before the match.

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  66. Uh, this is a terrible topic of discussion.

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  67. You know he's making a Caliber joke, right? I'm never sure with you

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  68. I thought it was for a second, sometimes it can be a hit and miss with me.

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  69. And if Dougie messes with me, I'll go cry to Scott about it.

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  70. Mister_E_Studd_Got100ProblemsApril 28, 2014 at 4:07 PM

    You are the straightest of straight men.

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  71. I will take that as a complement.
    :Satan enters the post:
    Satan:"He's straight?!"

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  72. I'm gonna need an Abeyance flame war or drunk appearance before I retire from the blog

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  73. Please have a friend with a cell nearby to film the beating. For lawsuit purposes, of course...

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  74. And a Your _ Favorite _ Loser wild sex story

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  75. If he is..stupid!

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  76. Kevin Dunn would have to crack the Top Ten of "People I'd kill if I had a time machine".


    At least in the "Pro Wrestling" category.

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  77. Misread. Edge/Lita caused Hardy's breakdown/firing

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  78. Jokes on you, I don't drink.

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  79. We no longer can be cordial

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  80. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryApril 28, 2014 at 4:24 PM

    No, Adam Cole is the champ, and Hardy is his manager.

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  81. Magoonie NOT Teddy BelmontApril 28, 2014 at 4:25 PM

    Why Meekin? Why? Can I just ask why? What did we do to deserve this? You take three weeks to even think about posting my WRESTLING related question meanwhile the second somebody brings up poop, Welp that's what the next QOTD is about. You're better than this. Cut it out with baiting the trollsnd the NPP people and just give us QOTD about a topic we can all discuss man.

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  82. Magoonie NOT Teddy BelmontApril 28, 2014 at 4:29 PM

    Also Paul, at least for a couple of weeks try keeping the QOTD simple, yesterday was perfect. Favorite/notable comics and comic movies. Yeah it's a topic covered here before but it's an easy, simple topic to jump into and generate discussion.

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  83. Magoonie NOT Teddy BelmontApril 28, 2014 at 4:32 PM

    Sorry, last point. In the subreddit AskReddit, where you ask a question, they ask whoever posted the question to put their answer to it in the comments section with everybody else. I think that could work well for you. I like reading your answers most of the time but it comes off better if you just post the question then answer it with us all in the comments section.

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  84. Magoonie NOT Teddy BelmontApril 28, 2014 at 4:39 PM

    You don't drink YET, give it time kid.

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  85. Magoonie NOT Teddy BelmontApril 28, 2014 at 4:40 PM

    I swear if he ever comes anywhere near Tampa, we are taking him out and getting that little basterd laid!

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  86. I'd offer condolences on his cousin's passing.

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  87. yea I was thinking that too. I wonder if he has enough money left to make it worth while.

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  88. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryApril 28, 2014 at 4:55 PM

    And the entrances last longer than the match.

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  89. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryApril 28, 2014 at 4:57 PM

    Get to Morton/Gibson yet? Forget about Red Bull, you're going to need a couple grams of ice to stay awake for that horseshit.

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  90. Amsterdam_Adam_CurryApril 28, 2014 at 5:05 PM

    Could it be... DRUGS?


    Pretty bad when a guy is so fucked up that a Clique member is a more reliable option.

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  91. It's even funnier when you consider his girlfriend is the first reply lol.

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  92. Can we get someone new asking the QOTD?

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  93. Saw a Crosby, Stills, and Nash concert at an amphitheater in Bushkill once. The venue was nice, but boy, is it HELL to get to that town from New York. You have to go through something called the Delaware Water Gap, and the only way to do that from where we came from was on a two-lane road with a 30 MPH speed limit for what seemed like forever. That said, it's a cool little town once you get there.

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  94. Who needs a Time Machine? GET TO WORK.

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  95. Anything that further obscures the confederate flags is a-ok in my book. That ROH, as prominent as it is, still has good ol boys as faces is beyond my comprehension.

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  96. how many chair shots are we talking here? Unbelievable that given all we know now someone would be foolish enough to allow that shit anymore

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  97. A year ago, Jay Briscoe was ROH Champion. He was forced to forfeit the title due to injury. Adam Cole won the vacant title.

    Jay never considered Cole's reign legitimate since he never beat Jay. So Jay made a custom world title.

    Adam Cole won the ladder war to "unify" the titles, and gave Jay's custom belt to his mentor Matt Hardy, who turned it into...this.

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  98. Next QOTD: how do you feel about enemas?

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  99. Cole won it, gave it to Matt.

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  100. http://www.rspwfaq.net/2014/01/qotd-me-you-and-everyone-we-knowfuckin.html

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  101. You're just desperate for attention and the BoD has given you a forum to seek it.

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  102. Yeah I know all about the Delaware Water Gap. I went to college in that area.

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  103. On a related note, how the fuck does Roberts keep that job? Does ANYONE think he's good? I mean, clearly someone in the company thinks he is, but I don't understand how or why.

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  104. True to my word, here's my story:

    I pooped on a cat.

    It was a long drive home, and it was going to be a photo finish. As my pants dropped and waste was being expelled in mid-air, my cat decided to jump on my toilet seat. She freaked out, I got mad, and much cleaning was to be had.

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  105. You kids are too spoilt these days.

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  106. I read Foley's first two books while shitting over a summer...

    Is this QOTD serious

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  107. Was Nigel blowing up and losing his mind like every time someone does it?

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  108. I was trying to not give a legit response in this thread, but I did the same with Simmons hoops book. Downloaded it in my e reader on my phone and it was strictly shit reading

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  109. Whenever I picture IRS I picture him doing the abdominal stretch. Like there should be a picture of him doing it on his headstone.

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  110. I guess it would be a good way to give some heels some exposure and let them talk, if only they were all good at it.

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  111. It must be Mr. Buckytooth Kevin Dunn. After all, he also thought that one of Peter Gabriel's all time worst songs would make a great theme for Wrestlemania 22 so he's clearly the kind of producer who would think a guy who looks like a human Ken doll would be a great ring announcer.

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  112. People can blame the death of the WWF syndication package on FOX expanding their schedule all they want but I'm convinced this is the real reason so many TV stations dumped them for WCW Worldwide:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYBLsPo9lDA

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  113. Yeah, he should be strangled just for making that terrible Peter Gabriel song "Big Time" the theme for Wrestlemania 22.
    And of all the Peter Gabriel songs to choose from, why would you pick "Big Time" when "Sledgehammer" is a trillion times better and a far more appropriate song considering who was in the main event?

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  114. There is something better: Seeing two stupid jobbers try and team up only to discover they're wrestling the Steiner Brothers.

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  115. Yeah, that show is way more likely to be held at the vacant strip mall that houses the TNA office in Nashville than Bushkill, PA.
    Plus, The Fernwood Resort seems like a nice place. Why should they punished with a TNA PPV?

    ReplyDelete
  116. Not so fast! Tyco, Kentucky may still be in the running.

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  117. The Immortal Hoke OganApril 29, 2014 at 11:09 AM

    IRS vs. Jannetty sounds like it would be a good match, in their prime. Not so much here, I'm guessing.

    ReplyDelete

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