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The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW–04.10.95

The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 04.10.95

Let’s see how well the Network feed cooperates tonight. It’s weird, too, because I watch these things at about 11:00PM Central time every night, or roughly “the middle of the fucking night” if you’re in a time zone that matters, so it’s not like the Network should be super-congested with people all trying to watch shitty 1995 RAW episodes all at once.

Also, positive thoughts and best wishes to Karl Stern. No-sell that shit like John Cena, buddy.

Taped from Poughkeepsie, NY.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler and our good friend the green screen.

Tatanka v. Adam Bomb

Interesting how WCW hasn’t even debuted Nitro, but already the shows are already swinging away from all squashes and becoming more star v. star focused as of late. Tatanka throws chops but gets overpowered and dropkicked, and a nice one too for a lunkhead like Bryan Clarke. Thankfully he’s switched back to his heel red and black gear instead of the retina-raping day-glo neon blue and yellow abomination. Tatanka throws more chops, but Bomb hits him with a jumping clothesline and we take a break. Back with Tatanka doing his weak stomps to take over and we hit the chinlock. When fucking BRYAN CLARKE is carrying the pace of the match you know you suck. So Bomb makes the comeback and throws clotheslines like he’s an NXT babyface, but Tatanka bails to escape and they brawl on the floor for the double countout at 8:50. LAME. **

The Headshrinkers v. Mike Bell & Tony Devito

Apparently they’re flying Afa and Albano around again, so business must be picking up a bit. We’re getting perilously close to MAKIN’ A DIFFERENCE Fatu but I don’t recall the exact repackage time. Fatu superkicks Bell, but gets distracted by Devito and Bell gets his shots in. Sionne hits Bell with a cheapshot while Vince shills DUCKMAN following the show. I actually really loved that show and used to watch it after RAW every week, one of the few shitty USA shows I would stick around for. Fatu finishes with a flying splash at 3:00.

Meanwhile, Jean Pierre Lafitte is a pirate or some shit.

Last week, Shawn Michaels says the wrong thing to Sid and gets powerbombed three times, and this time we get to see them all. The first two were some spectacularly ugly powerbombs, with Shawn nearly flying over Sid’s head and landing on his shoulder. No wonder he sold an injury angle for a couple of months.

Kama v. Scott Taylor

Kama now his melted down urn chain and Ted Dibiase with him. Taylor gets a hiptoss in, but Kama proceeds to his boring “MMA” offense before finishing with a pump splash at 2:45. You know, like all UFC fighters use.

Bret Hart, Bob Holly & 1-2-3 Kid v. Hakushi, Owen Hart & Yokozuna

Vince notes that RAW did its highest rating ever last week, which was a 3.5 according to the Observer. So yes, even these horrible shows are doing better than today’s product. And what happened with the Kid’s injury angle from a few weeks back? It was never even mentioned again on RAW. Yoko gets triple-teamed by the babyfaces and we take a break, returning with Kid getting levelled by an Owen leg lariat for two. Yoko comes in for the nervehold, which drives me nuts because it’s a SIX-MAN. If Yoko can’t do anything at this point, fine, but let the guys who can move carry the match instead of doing restholds for minutes at a time. The gag with the team is supposed to be that Owen does the whole match and can’t win, then Yoko comes in and destroys the guy, and Owen steals the pin and takes all the credit. It’s a pretty easy formula. Kid continues to take a beating and we take another break. Back with Kid coming back with a springboard bodypress for two, but Owen cuts off the tag and Yoko drops a leg on him. Hakushi comes in with a nice dropkick and a backbreaker, but Kid catches him with a powerbomb and it’s hot tag Bret Hart. Three clotheslines drop Yoko and he follows with the flying bulldog for two. The other heels come in and Bret tees off on Hakushi in the corner, allowing Yoko to catch him from behind. Owenzuigiri and kneedrop follow, but Bret makes a blind tag to Holly on the rebound and Bob rolls up Owen out of nowhere for the surprise pin at 15:00. Kid getting the shit kicked out of him is always entertaining. ***1/4

Vince and Jerry wrap things up in front of the green screen. They’re totally at ringside, you guys! Also, you should buy Wrestlemania if you like football players, because there’s quite a few of them, plus Salt N Pepa. Also, I wanna say…wrestling?

Next week: Bob Holly & the Kid challenge for the tag titles!

Another good show this week.

Comments

  1. Bryan Clarke deserved so much better. He was an impressively agile big man with crisp power-moves who was stuck with a midcard gimmick and never given any PPV programs. If they'd stayed behind him like they did Glen Jacobs, he probably would have gotten over at some point. Actually, he wouldn't have been a bad alternative to play the Kane role.

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  2. Say what you want about Nash and Sid, but their powerbombs always looked nasty, in a good way.

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  3. Adam Bomb was a great gimmick. BOMB SQUAD REPRESENT!

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  4. Stranger in the AlpsAugust 28, 2014 at 12:23 AM

    Since you didn't mention it, the stream worked out smoothly?

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  5. I remember Duckman as being really good, but I was 12 when I watched it and haven't seen it since then so it might just be my memory playing tricks on me.

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  6. Yup, all good tonight. I'm thinking the problem might have been with my internet service.

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  7. CruelConnectionNumber2August 28, 2014 at 12:33 AM

    Tatanka seems like the perfect washed up bum that would've jumped to WCW in 1996 or so and slogged away on WCW Saturday Night after joining the nWo b-team. I actually have no idea of his whereabouts from 1997-2004 or so except that he worked a random CZW (really!) show using the gimmick during the company's big years.

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  8. The world missed out on Adam Bomb vs. Giant Gonzales. Yes, it was teased after Gonzales' "face" turn at SummerSam '93.

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  9. No, stream sucked for me yesterday too.

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  10. Bryan Clark was never that bad in this era- he's one of those guys who you can kind of look at and go "how did Vince NOT love this guy?" He's huge as fuck, built like a bodybuilder, and he's ALSO light on his feet and can hit some awesome moves. It should have been a slam-dunk. Instead he got de-pushed and jobbed out, ended up in the WCW midcard, got super-over... then got squashed by Nash and de-pushed again.

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  11. Yeah, I looked up his career in fascination a year or so ago, and was shocked. It was basically him debuting, heading to the WWF within a year (explains why he was so shitty), getting a big push right away (long undefeated streak, but very few legit wins over credible opponents), then the heel turn and he goes into the shitter. By the time he`s gone, he`s basically done with wrestling until his bizarre comeback years later, where he`d surprisingly improved by a ways.

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  12. Shawn seems to be hurt all the time and it didn't affect his push one bit. From 93 til WM14 I swear the guy hardly wrestled but got pushed harder every time he came back.

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  13. MikeyMike, WitnessAugust 28, 2014 at 4:28 AM

    So Diesel Ppwer gets better gas mileage than Cena Power?

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  14. MikeyMike, WitnessAugust 28, 2014 at 4:30 AM

    Good for him. He's someone who could have very easily bounced around forever.

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  15. MikeyMike, WitnessAugust 28, 2014 at 4:31 AM

    I agree they both looked like they legit injured the guy.

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  16. "Adam Bomb is total destruction!" ;-) His gimmick was maybe a little bit too cheesy for a bigger push. But in a team with maybe Crush, for example, they could have been like a new kind of Demolition or LOD. ;-)

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  17. Yeah, not sure why Scott was ragging on Clarke in his review. Clarke was a pretty good worker at this point and he improved more once he went to WCW.


    But yeah, always hated how WWF treated Bomb, like Tatanka was totally dead as a character once the Luger feud finished so there was no incentive to protect the guy anymore and you have Bomb who's improving more and more and they won't let him get a win over Tatanka? Just infuriating booking.

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  18. Yeah, I always wondered why Tatanka never headed to WCW since WCW picked up all the WWF rejects. Mabel is another guy that WCW surprisingly never signed.

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  19. Tatanka did improve as a worker in 93. I have a theory that Tatanka took his character very seriously and believed he was a positive role-model for Native Americans, so when they turned him heel it basically destroyed the person he was, which was why he workrate turned to shit soon after.

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  20. "and he's ALSO light on his feet and can hit some awesome moves."

    You basically answered your own question. Vince doesn't like guys who leave their feet :)

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  21. The only episode I remember clearly, despite not having watched it in zonks was the America episode.

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  22. Shawn normally took time off WM. Shawn did an interview, where he said that he wished a lot of the other wrestlers took time off too instead of working a full time schedule, but feels that wrestlers generally don't ask for time off incase it affects their push, but never affected Shawn's standing with the company.

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  23. They only signed cool wrestlers. ;)

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  24. I actually think that it's even BETTER for a wrestler to take time off, because they don't get stale as fast as the guys which you can see every week in every show. The best things in wrestling is when someone "returns".

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  25. Yet most people here hate part timers with a passion. (I would not be one of them, as you said, makes them more fresh when they take time off)

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  26. He had 2 toy rockets that he threw into the crowd. Once, he threw one that went maybe into the 3rd row. Most girlish throw ever. Even the crowd kind of gasped in disappointment... So it felt like his career was literally on the line on his 2nd toss... Which he indeed threw far. CAREER SAVED.

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  27. Those green screens always looked so awful.

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  28. This is 1995, if you're close to getting over you get squashed by the Kliq. Waylon Mercy, Hakushi, Adam Bomb, JPL, etc.

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  29. Ummm... Mercy lost to Bret and Savio, Hakushi lost to Bret and Horowitz, Bomb lost to Henry Godwinn and Mabel, and Lafitte lost to Bret. Does the Kliq just get blamed for everything, just like HHH gets blamed for everything from 2002 to 2013?

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  30. I think Bischoff or Tatanka himself have stated he had a big money offer from WCW in '96, but he wanted to take a break.

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  31. Extant1979 - Ghetto SuperstarAugust 28, 2014 at 6:14 AM

    DUCKMAN!!!!

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  32. The treatment of Tatanka in the early 90's was the death low to Native American culture. It had a chance to really come on strong, but that broke a once proud psyche to the point of no return.

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  33. It's not just about if they feuded with them. For instance Shawn could have a match with Adam Bomb and then Shawn could go running to Vince complaining that Bomb is injury prone or too stiiff and that's all Vince would need to bury the guy or fire him.

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  34. On the other hand, Mabel legit injured Diesel, and Vince was about to fire him, until Diesel talked him into giving him a 2nd chance. For some reason, I don't think the Kliq was as bad as they were made out to be.

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  35. I think Kliq were mostly concerned with guys that had talent and could take their spot, so that's why they were probably cool with Mabel.

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  36. I youtubed an episode to see for myself, and I thought it looked just fine...


    Then I realized i picked one of their live shows... looked up a taped one, and OH MY GOD.

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  37. Slight threadjack ... everyone should go listen to JR's podcast with Tony Schiavone. Its awesome ... those of us who go back that far used to dog WCW and Tony for their announcing but man, going back and re-watching those WCW shows on the Network its so much better after spending the last three years listening to the Cole/JBL/Lawler trainwreck.

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  38. There's a big difference between a guy that works 7-8 months and a guy that comes in for 2 matches like the Rock.

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  39. Damn that guy for being the main cause of three consecutive WM buyrates of over 1 million!!

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  40. Yes, but that's only because Diesel Power is being towed by Shawn.

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  41. Have you not SEEN Nightstalker v. Sid? I still haven't forgiven him for that one.

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  42. I loved Duckman. I'm a sucker for lightning fast, razor wit dialogue no matter what they hell they were talking about.

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  43. I admit that was awful and Clarke was no great shakes in the ring in his early days, but he IMPROVED like 200% since the infamous Sid match. Of course he'd go back to sucking again when he formed Kronik, but at this point in time he was good.

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  44. Hey there's a youtube channel with what seems like nearly all the Duckman episodes on it.

    http://www.youtube.com/channel/UCtDEiSIVXaUqjydyCak4HKg/videos

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  45. Typical Shawn... wouldn't sell the first two powerbombs for 2 seconds... sells the third for 2 months.

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  46. Diesel squashed Mercy, Bomb and JPL on Raw or on highly publicized house shows. Hakushi was given the thumbs down by Kid after their SummerSlam match. It's pretty common knowledge.

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  47. So the babyface WWF champ went over mid card heels? Oh the audacity!! That has never happened in any era in wrestling!

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  48. JR jumps all over the place too much for my taste. It's annoying. When talking to Sting he was like...


    "Now you and Vader, I want to talk about that... there's a finish I want to bring up... because a finish... well, in ROH, and I like Ring of Honor, I do... in ROH they'll have an escalating series of high spots that pop the crowd and get a chant going... this is awesome clap clap clapclapclap... but sometimes the crowds are just getting themselves over... something stupid clap clap clapclapclap...


    ... BBQ sauce..."

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  49. He was a teacher... only worked 9 months of the year and plenty of vacation time.

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  50. I think you will enjoy an upcoming episode Scott, which features Vince and Jerry conducting an interview with Cornfed, Duckman's unflappable pig sidekick. It takes place during a Henry Goddwinn squash (of course) and features the surreal scene of Jerry Lawler, in full heel mode, telling a cartoon pig/Joe Friday hybrid that he is stealing the spotlight away from Duckman.

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  51. Yeah ... its funny that Austin is becoming a really good interviewer. He's able to get these guys back on track when they go off on tangets but also lets them tell their stories.

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  52. Austin being one of the best podcasts PERIOD, let alone about wrestling is welcome surprise. He's so natural at it. He's also a spectacular guest on other podcasts.


    His public service announcements on Adam Carolla are legendary.

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  53. Notice how the Chucky/Steiner thing gets brought up all the time... but this NEVER gets brought up.

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  54. If you're debating whether the Kliq held down midcard talent in 1995 or not, you're on the wrong side of the discussion.

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  55. I don't know about months off... but guys should really be working a 20 date/month max... and that includes appearances and such. That's about what a normal 9-5 person would be working with holidays and vacations worked out.

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  56. Mercy's knees were shot... couldn't take the road anymore. He was also a buddy of Nash's so he had that going for him.

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  57. Never heard the Kid/Hakushi thing.

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  58. The Nightstalker was AWFUL... Adam Bomb wasn't that good... but Wrath...


    ... Wrath was awesome.

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  59. Clarke got tons of chances really and never connected with the audience. Probably the lack of any talent to speak of held him back

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  60. I wouldn't say he had tons of chances. WCW were the first to give him his first serious push in 98 and he got over before being buried again.

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  61. I think I recall watching a RF Shoot with Tatanka where he talked about how he lucky he was to have made a fortune in WWF, or at least was one of the guys smart enough to save his money, turned around and made some smart investments and was able to live off that and take some time off. His run also guaranteed him some decent indy paydays when he did decide to come back for spot shows.


    Funny side story, a friend of mine who's a promoter hired Tatanka once and for years afterwards would periodically receive emails from Tatanka's booking agent that said something like "This month only, book Tatanka at a reduced rate of 50% off!" or something like that.

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  62. I think I missed the part of this exchange where Logan said that Rock wasn't bankable. Or maybe you just completely ignored his point, because it didn't fit your preferred narrative. Maybe if he phrased it in the form of a question...in the three Wrestlemanias that Rock came back for, which full-timer came out of them a bigger star?

    PLEASE answer Miz so we can collectively laugh at you.

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  63. I think he came along too soon, actually. If he'd gotten into wrestling five years ago and gone through the WWE developmental system, they would've been able to mold him into exactly what they want, which would probably resemble Roman Reigns.

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  64. Although Corny would tell you he's more of a cartoon pig/Jack Lord hybrid.

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  65. They also brought him back for that WM in 2001 right? Really my main point was he got more chances than his talent level warranted. If they were ever going to seriously push him, doing so as Bomb during the lull of 94-95 was the time to take a chance.

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  66. Duckman was years ahead of its time. If it were on today it'd be a mega hit.

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  67. I wouldn't say mega hit just because smart shows don't tend to be universally accepted, but it was a show before it's time.

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  68. ugh, I thought Adam Bomb as a babyface was horrible (which is funny because he was one of the very first heels that I liked as a kid).

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  69. I'd assume that he wouldn't have been able to do an Indian gimmick, so they didn't see any point.

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  70. He was a substitute teacher then cause he didn't work 9 months too often.

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