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Saturday Night’s Main Event Countdown: #36

The SmarK Rant for Saturday Night's Main Event - August 2 2008

(And so we wrap up the series with a pathetic one hour show thrown together to fulfil their NBC deal and feature Jenny McCarthy for some reason.  This show DIED in the ratings, but by this point no one cared at all.)

- Taped from Washington, DC.

- Your hosts are Jim Ross & Jerry Lawler.

JBL, Ted Dibiase, Cody Rhodes & Kane v. John Cena, Cryme Tyme & Batista.

Kane hammers Batista down to start, but Dave comes back with a corner clothesline and boots him down for two. He gets caught in the heel corner and Cody Rhodes comes in and slugs away, but Batista powers him into the face corner, where JTG beats on him. Shad alley-oops JTG into Cody (that move needs a cool name in the worst way) and a press slam gets two. Snake Eyes follows, but a weak cheapshot from JBL slows him down and Shad is YOUR thug-in-peril. And thus we take a break. Back with JBL tossing him for some punishment on the floor from Kane, which gives JBL two. Dibiase comes in with a suplex and clothesline for two (complete with canned "oooohs" from the crowd and overdubbed NBC shilling from JR that sounds like it was bolted on with a rivet gun). Into the corner for more dull heel offense. Cody pounds away in the corner and follows with a weak dropkick to cut off the tag, and it's over to JBL for some elbows that get two. Over to Kane for a seated dropkick that gets two, and he goes to a bodyscissors of all things. C'mon, this is prime time! This crap is supposed to hook viewers? Dibiase tries a suplex, but Shad reverses it and it's hot tag Cena. Backdrop suplex for JBL and the five knuckle shuffle follows, but Kane breaks up the F-U. Batista dumps Kane and hits Dibiase with a spinebuster, which allows JTG to go up and get launched onto Dibiase. He's not legal, so the ref won't count, but when JBL hits him with the Clothesline from New York, he will count that and the heels win at 12:13. What happened to more realism in the reffing? (Vince went to sleep and woke up the next morning with a new obsession.)  Dull match that got hot for about 10 seconds at the end but was all kicking and punching before that. And really, if you're a new fan tuning in and watching Dibiase & Rhodes, you'd think they were a couple of jobbers instead of the World tag champs and the hot new act of the promotion that the WWE is pushing them as. ** (Well, you’d be half right.) 

Jeff Foxworthy wants us to know that autism is reversible and he'll be watching later when Jenny McCarthy talks about it. I thought they were trying to convince advertisers that rednecks WEREN'T watching their shows?

Carmen Electra also dislikes autism. Really bringing out the A-list celebrities here, aren't they?

The Great Khali v. Jimmy Wang Yang

Yang doesn't even get an entrance, not that there was any doubt about the finish anyway. Khali clotheslines him and tosses him around, then swats Yang out of the air and finishes with the tree slam and pins him with one foot at 1:24. Lemme just say, had they taken the time to book Big Show this strong in 1999 he might have ended up as a major star instead of the minor one he is now. Khali, however, is a lost cause, no matter how much crowd noise they pipe in. DUD

Ben Stiller reads his sincere greetings off a cue card. Autism, it sucks, man. Anyone else waiting for him to endorse the Derek Zoolander Center For Kids Who Can't Read Good And Wanna Learn To Do Other Stuff Good Too?

And now, it's Jenny McCarthy. Who really gives a crap about Jenny McCarthy in 2008 anyway? Anyway, autism is bad, we get it. (Oh man, we didn’t even know the depths of her insanity at this point.  Even WWE wasn’t crazy enough to give her prime time TV and tell us how we shouldn’t vaccinate our children because of all the EVIL MERCURY and instead just let her talk vaguely about autism. Sadly, this is still a thing that idiots propagate in Facebook groups to this day, no matter how many times the science is discredited.)  I'd rather not be preached to in a one-hour wrestling show, especially when they go from something where we're supposed to see the "good side" of the WWE and then they cut right to...

Edge's trashy (but awesome!) wedding soap opera with Vickie and the wedding planner, which immediately makes them look completely low-class and silly again. Lemme say, HD close-ups of Vickie = EPIC FAIL. Edge needs Lita back in his life as a stabilizing force again. Lita v. Vickie in a battle of trailer trash would be so amazing that they'd have to go super-duper HD to contain it.

Edge v. Jeff Hardy

Hardy takes him down to start and they exchange baseball slide attempts, which allows Jeff to hit a pescado. Edge rests on the railing and Jeff tries to follow with a somersault off the stairs, but he splats into the barricade with a nasty bump and we take a break. Back with Edge working the leg, and he counters away from the mule kick and takes Hardy down again. Edge wraps the leg around the post, but Hardy comes back with a clothesline and puts Edge in the Tree of Woe. Baseball slide misses, but Jeff recovers and mule kicks him for two instead. Twist of Fate is reversed into the Impaler by Edge, and that gets a very close two. Edge tries the spear, but Jeff moves and hits the Whisper in the Wind for two. Jeff hits him with a front suplex and goes up for the swanton, but Edge rolls away and Jeff can't limp over and continue the advantage. Edge tries another spear, but misses again and lands on the floor. With the ref counting Edge, MVP pops out of the crowd and hits Jeff with the high kick out of nowhere, making him even goofier, and that darn spear finally finishes at 13:26. Good stuff, with Jeff selling the knee consistently and Edge looking like a star as usual. ***

The Pulse

Pretty pointless show from my end of things, as they had a timeslot on NBC and just kind of did a half-hearted Summerslam build because they knew no one would be watching anyway. But that autism, it's the real heel!  (More like the “doctor” who came up with that fucking anti-vaccine bullshit.) 

Comments

  1. Oh God. WWE aligning themselves with anti vaxx whackos.

    This is how the pink rings will look in a couple years when Susan G Komen goes down for felony fraud charges.

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  2. It was already well known Jenny McCarthy was insane, which is why her charity was willing to do business with WWE in the first place.

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  3. Best part: Her son wasn't even autistic

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  4. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomerySeptember 17, 2014 at 10:35 PM

    Jenny McCarthy just seems like a terrible, terrible human being.

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  5. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomerySeptember 17, 2014 at 10:36 PM

    Hopefully it will go better than the NFL's pink campaign next month.

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  6. I'm really excited to see how this plays out. Someone suggested they do purple washing for domestic violence but that could also not end well.

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  7. Watching this show gave me autism.

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  8. YankeesHoganTripleHFanSeptember 17, 2014 at 10:49 PM

    At this point can we even be surprised at the behavior of NFL players anymore? Don't forget, there is an all pro tight end sitting in jail on MULTIPLE murder charges. I mean seriously if we found out tomorrow that one of the Manning's was part of an international crime ring would we even raise our eyebrows?

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  9. I'd be more surprised if one of the Mannings wasn't 'part of an international crime ring. They are some crafty guys.

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  10. The best part is she now claims she never said vaccines cause Autism.

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  11. Someone on the Cardinals got arrested for domestic violence today. At one point does Goodell just sprint from this job as fast as he can?

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  12. I think her new claim is to do research on vaccines, don't get them all at once, some vaccines are bad? The backlash over her being hired to do The View was great.

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  13. Whenever I see someone with autism, I feel safe knowing they can't give me measles.

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  14. Apparently the NFL is going to tone it down.

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  15. Well it sure as hell ain't Peyton; since his team OBVIOUSLY didn't bribe the referees into helping them win the super bowl.

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  16. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomerySeptember 17, 2014 at 11:04 PM

    At least they didn't wait until the sponsors pulled money. Granted, he's a backup RB and their third-string Taylor is probably better anyway, so no skin off their back, but still.


    Which reminds me, I need to get Dwyer off my fantasy team.

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  17. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomerySeptember 17, 2014 at 11:05 PM

    It's definitely Eli. His bad play just reeks of a man who no longer can live with a dirty conscience.

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  18. I've met Eli. He's too bland to be part of an international crime ring. Unless that's what he wants us to think....

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  19. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomerySeptember 17, 2014 at 11:07 PM

    And I hate giving kudos to the Patriots, but at least they fucking Benoit'd him immediately. And there's Greg Hardy, convicted by a judge for a months, and Riverboat Ron is all ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ until the backlash got to be too much. What an embarrassing press conference he put on today.

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  20. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomerySeptember 17, 2014 at 11:07 PM

    It's the Bruce Wayne ploy, it's always the last guy you'd expect!

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  21. HHH in some sort of "control of the company" angle?

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  22. Forget Piper blacking up, Trish barking like a dog or any of the other countless offensive things the WWE has put out - this association with Jenny McCarthy is by far the most offensive thing they've ever done.

    This show went out 2 months after my own son, then 3, was diagnosed with autism. Being told your child has a profound and life long disability is a difficult time for any parent. You spend every waking hour reading up about the condition, trying to understand it & work out the best course of action.

    That situation is palpably not helped by the mainstream coverage of Autism focusing on research that has not just been discredited, but has proven to be outright lies. Vaccines cause autism? Lie. Autism can be reversed? Lie.

    The impact of promoting this BS (and it was known to be BS years before this show) is that families struggling with an autism diagnosis waste time, money and energy on interventions which are not what their children need.

    The impact on the wider population is that vaccination rates drop, we lose herd immunity and people, normally children, lose their lives to easily preventable diseases.

    Any group that has associated themselves with Jenny McCarthy and her loonies should be ashamed.

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  23. If you don't mind me asking, where is your kid on the spectrum?

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  24. Virgil's Gimmick TableSeptember 18, 2014 at 1:00 AM

    Reminder that no one cares.

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  25. Ppv buy rates mean nothing unless they support the wrestler who they like. For example when dbry was main eventing ppvs the buyrates "proved he was a star"

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  26. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomerySeptember 18, 2014 at 1:48 AM

    Not even the Tyson/DX double cross was that vicious

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  27. I always felt like Heyman's pre-Wrestlemania speech about Brock was really about Punk's career in WWE.


    “See that’s how they get you in WWE, Brock. That’s how HHH
    and Stephanie get people. What they do is, in WWE you can have anything you want except thing you want the most.”


    -Punk had the hottest angle in years and they let HHH squash him on the mic verbally and then in a match.

    -They give Punk a face character but he drops the edgy character that made people so interested in him

    -He holds the belt for a year while Cena still is clearly the focus and main event of almost every show

    -For WM 30 they set him up for another feud with HHH to basically rehash the original 2011 feud...and by the way, it'll be taking a backseat to whatever Batista ends up doing at WM

    I think Punk really wanted to be the top guy or at least the second guy like when they had Rock/Austin. The problem was the WWE was never going to truly let him shine on that level.

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  28. He hasn't been called Robert Roode in years.

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  29. Unless Punk's raking it in on the stock market or property game, he'll be back

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  30. Extant1979 - Ghetto SuperstarSeptember 18, 2014 at 5:19 AM

    He apparently has a bunch of property in Chicago.

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  31. Who in the world can POSSIBLY stop Lashley??? *Cue random newly signed WWE cast-off"

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  32. Extant1979 - Ghetto SuperstarSeptember 18, 2014 at 5:23 AM

    I hope nobody calls their mama any time soon...

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  33. I'm don't consider myself "Anti-vaccine", but since I have a crippling fear of needles, let's say that they probably like my stance. :)

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  34. Extant1979 - Ghetto SuperstarSeptember 18, 2014 at 5:30 AM

    But was he vaccinated?


    Also, it's not at all surprising that Chris Hardwick is the more stable/less annoying of the MTV's Singled Out pairing...

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  35. Anyone ever seen that website that lists all the children who've died of preventable diseases called Jenny McCarthy Death Toll? It's since changed its name to Anti-Vaccine Body Count sadly.

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  36. but the vaccination issue isn't that much of a clear cut either/or thing as well. for example two different doctors told my sister that while they would definitely advise them to let them vaccinate their kids they would also advise them not to do that too early in their lives.

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  37. Paging Dr Meltzer!!

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  38. "Yep Mode" ABeyAnce1©September 18, 2014 at 5:38 AM

    If Brodus becomes his BFG challenger, that would just be stupid on their part.

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  39. That doesn't mean "don't do it", which is the argument.....not "don't do it too early."


    These nuts are saying you shouldn't vaccinate. The problem is NO ONE saying this is a doctor and/or a chemist.


    If you don't vaccinate, you are endangering the lives of those around you. If this quackiness continues, it will spread like wildfire and we'll all be dead just like the morons want so we can go to Imaginationland to live with the bearded sky daddy.

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  40. am I the only one who imagined both "reminder" comments in Pat Pattersons voice?

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  41. And the wrinkled rat vagina.

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  42. the story about him tearing up a scripted promo in front of the ones who gave it to him is amazing as well (and also fits this description).

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  43. I don't know Punk, but it seems to me he's perfectly content doing what he's doing.


    Just a guess, but I'm betting it would take a whole lot of money to get him to come back...even for one appearance. I don't think he's hurting for it, and from what I understand he sure as hell isn't coming back for his "fans".

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  44. Heh, whoops. I was pretty tired when I wrote that.

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  45. Of course there's different outcomes for different patients. But just because not every kid can have "autism" reversed doesn't take away the fact that some kids can, which is all I was trying to say.

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  46. He'll need to call her collect. No way TNA can afford a long distance plan.

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  47. Chris Hardwick is definitely annoying but I'll co sign the "less" part.

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  48. So Ravens colors?

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  49. It already has spread like wildfire along with nonsense about mercury in the vaccines. Measles and mumps are back with a force and nobody had those when I was growing up.

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  50. Which is why it will happen.

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  51. As mattindeed said, that's a case of "Don't do it too early", which is one thing. The anti vaccine stuff is saying "This stuff causes autism!!! Don't do it at all!!!" based on one widely discredited "scientist" and a bunch of conspiracy nuts screaming loudly about it with no evidence.

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  52. I got buried by the blog when I suggested that a 35 year old man might burn through his money fairly quickly and need to return to work. If he has kids forget about it, he'll be back lickity fuckin split.

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  53. He's in total midlife crisis mode where he's just trying so hard to be cool.

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  54. "Dis is uh reminduh!"

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  55. THOSE TATTOOS!!

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  56. Oh good, I had this dream he headlined against Ryback...

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  57. Jenny McCarthy and most all her followers aren't even believers. They are all followers of a fake religion or Satan. Satan does this so he can keep people from the real heaven. But Satan is a defeated for because Jesus died on a cross -- so one can have eternal life. So, forget about avoiding vaccines or not avoiding them - stop playing god because remember John 9 -- this man was not born blind because of the sin of him or his parents -- but so the miracle of God could be shown at work. I chose not to listen to the media, because most hold to the lies of Satan and to the inventions of Nebraska Man and Lucy - which were discredited as fiction.

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  58. Where is the commercial where she clearly said that they did? Then again I think I read an article where she claimed it -- but you know if the National Enquirer can lie maybe the media lied on her or in truth maybe the lied together because it is a last ditch effort for Satan to take as many with him to hell when Christ finally comes back and ascends on the throne.

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  59. Yeah they went back to Bobby when Beer Money was still tag team champions.

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  60. Meet halfway and call him Bobbert

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  61. "Really bringing out the A-list celebrities here, aren't they?"
    With Jenny and Carmen they were bringing out the A-List breasts though.

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  62. Damn that Goodell for forcing these men to commit violence.

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  63. I think the danger is with extremists. Certain vaccines are evil, but some are worth the risk. Rabies vaccine - worth the risk. Yellow fever, etc.. In fact, get all of your shots -- but remember Jonathan Edwards - the preacher - did get an noculation for small pox and caught it and died. But it is still a worthwhile gamble when one is saved.

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  64. Probably owns a gym as well (that seems to be a wrestler thing).

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  65. I was at this taping!

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  66. Oh completely. Sorry if it looked like I jumped down your throat.

    I was referring back to those who claim that all autism can be reversed. Those eople are quacks - we just don't understand it well enough to make a claim remotely close to that.

    But yes, some people have achieved amazing results by a variety of methods and that is clearly very good news. Next step is to understand why that doesn't happen for everyone

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  67. I too have an autistic son (diagnosed 2 years ago) who is moderate on the spectrum (7 years old cognitive about 4)...heavy scripting, little awareness and elopes a lot...he's also the greatest thing to ever happen to me. It's hard and exhausting but so rewarding.

    Go stagger...stay strong sir.

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  68. I linked to it below

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  69. I'm sorry about your son. That said, I really found that New York Times story to be fascinating. It must be hard knowing there's a million different treatments out there and some get results and some don't and it all seems to be a case by case basis. Must make you dizzy

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  70. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomerySeptember 18, 2014 at 10:44 AM

    That doc was the tits. I could easily see him doing that because CM Punk. I even love the admittance that he knew was being an asshole about it, but that was the only way they were gonna get the message.

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  71. Eh, I like Hardwick.

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  72. Isn't Davey's leg broken? Was this all shot before?

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  73. Yep. Almost impossible to plot a way through it with any certainty.

    We tend to just focus on doing things that make him happy. Progress in anything else is happy

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  74. Good luck with yours mate.

    It's a tough hand to be dealt to be sure.

    As I said in a reply above we focus on what makes him & the family happy above everything else. Spent a lot of time & money chasing different therapies and it got us nowhere.

    Enjoy what you can, even if that's tough work some days

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  75. Check out the episode of Penn & Teller: Bullshit! that debunks all of Jenny's whackjob theories about autism and vaccines.

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  76. I like how he says 'twitter' because it's funny. And I like how you typed it out like that...you captured his pronunciation perfectly. I stopped listening to his podcast because I found the rest of it boring.

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  77. Yeah this is about two months old.

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  78. I watched an episode of Impact that I had on demand, the one from a couple weeks ago with the Hardys/Dudleys match. The Dudleys wore their "old school" WWE camo gear, and I thought it was particularly funny seeing most references to their old name covered up on the shirts (even though D-Von left "Boyz" and Bubba had a reference to "Dudleyville" on the back that they *almost* managed to avoid showing in detail. Almost). The Manhattan Center added a much-needed change in atmosphere from the Impact Zone, and while it wasn't great or anything (Crazzy Steve?) it was actually more tolerable than Raw. If only because without commercials it was 90 minutes.

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  79. Even when he was at his peak, Homicide always needed the right opponent or tag team partner to do anything even remotely special. He always seemed like he'd be better suited to just stick with being a tag guy.

    He's from my general area, so right after he first got out of training some of his first matches ever were in one of my local indie feds. He was BRUTAL.

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  80. That's why I love Punk. I strongly believe that wrestling is art, but so rarely do you get to see a wrestler act like an artist. I strongly believe that Punk wasn't just upset with his position on the card or how many matches he was winning, but that the material he was given was shit.


    Of course, I also love Mike Patton and he's also a HUGE asshole.

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  81. So Autism is kinda like Schizophrenia? A bunch of disorders that are lumped together out of convenience and a lack of understanding?

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  82. I feel like good luck would be insulting, so instead say congratulations on being an awesome dad.

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  83. Sort of

    It's a spectrum of disorders. At one end you have your Asperger's syndrome people who are very smart but socially very awkward. Whilst at the other you have low functioning autism in which their cognitive ability is impaired in most every regard (this is where my boy is).

    A person can be at any point on the spectrum and no two cases present or respond to treatment in the same way. You've also got rarer outliers like the savants which are the rain man types that are the popular image of autism when in fact they make up a tiny % of cases.

    A few years back they actually did away with all the seperate conditions a few years back as they realised they had no clear way to say where one ended and another began. All you'll get now is a diagnosis of Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD)

    But give it 50 years and progress in genetics and brain scans will probably see it all split out again.

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  84. In 50 years I'll have a robot body.


    What are you feelings on the internet romanticizing ASD and people self-diagnosing themselves with Asperger's to justify them being assholes? Or Hollywood making ASD folk wizards who do not understand hu-man emotions? Does it bother you that when people hear Autism they think Criminal Minds or The Big Bang Theory?

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  85. Bothers me massively.

    The reality of our lives is dealing with unimaginable challenges that dominate every aspect of our lives (as an example my wife hasn't worked for 5 years as she's been a full time carer, I walked away from a very well paid job to retrain as a teacher because I needed to be available in the school holidays. Obviously the impact of this on family finances and our other kids is significant).

    And yet, when I tell people that my son has autism a typical response is "what's his talent?"

    I may want to punch them in the face at that point but its not their fault. Hollywood is in love with the idea of the 'magic retard', the socially awkward kid that can do complex maths / draw incredibly detailed pictures / play virtuoso piano etc. And it's not just TV/Film that does this. The magic retard is a trope in a numberr of Stephen King books for example. Hell, even Eugene falls under this umbrella.

    It's not to say these representations of autism aren't entertaining (or accurate to some cases) but when they're pretty much the sole representation of a very complex condiition you end up with many people misunderstanding a disorder that ruins lives as some kind of gift.

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  86. Yeah, life isn't a video game, just because you got shafted by fate doesn't mean that you get psychic powers to make up for it. Life isn't fair, and as shitty as that is, pretending it is fair is even more shitty. Some people have problems because that the hand life dealt them, not because they're morally deficient.

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