by Logan Scisco
-Jim Ross and Jerry “The King” Lawler are doing commentary and they are taped from Lowell, Massachusetts, which is one of my favorite venues. It’s sort of amazing how the WWF was able to do a ton of pyro by the constricted entrance without engulfing the building.
-Opening Contest: Edge beats “Double J” Jeff Jarrett (w/Southern Justice) via disqualification when Jarrett hits Edge with a guitar at 5:14:
It is funny to hear Lawler ask the same questions about Edge that people asked about the Shield: Where do they hang out before shows? Why do they feel the need to enter through the crowd and not the traditional way? Jarrett debuts the Stroke here, but it is only used as a transitional move. Edge busts out an impressive spot where he hits two consecutive suplexes and transitions a third into a facebuster. This is a decent, competitive match with Jarrett giving Edge a few hope spots before getting desperate and hitting the newcomer with a guitar. Rating: **¼ (1 for 1)
-Bradshaw defeats Darren Drozdov with the Flair pin at 4:01:
No one would call this a technical exhibition, but it is a tolerable brawl that plays to the strengths of both men. Bradshaw uses the old heel tactic of putting his feet on the ropes to pin the rookie and then gives him a lariat to put the finishing touch on this match. The crowd’s silence brought this down a notch, but both guys were trying. Rating: *¾ (2 for 2)
-A video package hypes the triple threat main event for Breakdown, where WWF Champion Steve Austin will defend his title against the Undertaker and Kane. The announcement for that match took place on Sunday Night Heat.
-“Marvelous” Marc Mero (w/Jacqueline) pins Miguel Perez with the TKO at 3:38:
The anti-Sable element in the crowd tries to work up a “Jackie” chant but that goes nowhere. You can tell that Perez (who has shaved his back) is motivated to make this work, but Mero’s heel offense slows the pace down so much that it takes something away from the match. Mero hits a TKO out of nowhere to win. Rating: *½ (3 for 3)
-Michael Cole interviews The Oddities and Insane Clown Posse. The ICP cut pretty good promo against the DOA and dare I say, it is better than at least half of the WWF roster at this point.
-Cole interviews DOA and Paul Ellering, who says that the DOA will drop the Oddities like the DOW Jones Industrial Average.
-DOA (w/Paul Ellering) beats Golga & Kurrgan (w/Giant Silva, Luna Vachon & The Insane Clown Posse) via disqualification when the Insane Clown Possee interfere at 1:54:
Within the first minute of the match Golga hits the top rope with so much force that it breaks. Everything goes downhill from there, which is probably why the ICP runs in and gets beaten down by the DOA. No word on whether the outcome of this match was later annulled because of the broken top rope.
-The Undertaker and Kane destroying the Rock on last week’s show is the Penzoil Rewind segment.
-The Rock walks out and reiterates how he is still the People’s Champion despite losing to Triple H at SummerSlam. He promises to get revenge on Kane for chokeslamming him on last week’s show. By calling out a main eventer, the Rock symbolized that he was rising up the card here. 4 for 4
-The Lion’s Den match from SummerSlam is shown in its entirety.
-Southern Justice defeats Too Much when Mark Canterbury pins Scott Taylor after the Problem Solver at 4:06:
Southern Justice are getting a small push to appear as a threat to the New Age Outlaws, who are really devoid of significant challengers in the tag team division. Too Much are positioned as the faces in this bout, which makes no sense at all, but Southern Justice can’t really play that role either. Southern Justice wins this abbreviated match to keep on rolling along. Rating: * (4 for 5)
-Vader pins Dustin Runnels after a Vader Bomb at 3:25:
They might as well bill this match as “two WCW guys who are struggling to establish their position in the Attitude Era.” During the match, Val Venis mocks Runnels Christian advocacy by parading around with a sign that reads “I Have Come.” Runnels starts praying when he sees Venis’s sign and Vader takes advantage to win his first RAW match via pinfall in what seems like forever. Rating: ½* (4 for 6)
-A video package highlights Sable’s in-ring performances.
-Al Snow comes out of the crowd and says that he will not leave the ring until he sees a WWF official. Commissioner Slaughter, Pat Patterson, and Gerald Brisco come out and order Snow to leave the ring. Since they do not book Snow in a match, Snow gives Patterson a low blow with Head and flees through the crowd. This was wasn’t very good until Patterson got hit below the belt. 4 for 7
-Call 815-734-1161 to get your “Down Where? Down Here!” DX shirt for $25 (plus $6 shipping & handling)! I’m sure that lots of kids were forced to take that shirt off when they came to school wearing it.
-Cole interviews the Headbangers, who are confused about why they are wrestling on RAW since they rarely appear. They make some nonsensical comments about their opponents before heading to the ring.
-D-Lo Brown & Mark Henry beat The Headbangers via disqualification when Chyna interferes at 5:23:
I was always a fan of the D-Lo Brown & Mark Henry tag team and wish they had been given a run with the tag team titles around this time. This is your paint by the numbers tag match that ends when Chyna runs in and tackles Henry for the second consecutive week. WWF officials get decked by Chyna and D-Generation X has to run in to restrain her. Rating: *¾ (4 for 8)
-Get a big poster of Triple H when you buy Stridex pads!
-D-Generation X (w/Chyna) defeat Kaientai (w/Yamaguchi-San) when X-Pac pins Taka Michinoku with an assisted X-Factor at 4:33:
These two teams have contrasting gimmicks: one side tells you to suck it and the other side wants to chop it off. This is a fun squash, with Kaientai mounting very little offense (and what they do get comes at the expense of the Road Dogg – surprise, surprise), but I do not like how Michinoku, who is the light heavyweight champion, ate the pin. Then again, since when does that title mean anything? After the bout, Chyna nails Yamaguchi-San with a forearm. Rating: *½ (5 for 9)
-After the bell, DX gets a female fan to moon the audience.
The Final Report Card: Well, this RAW was better than last week’s in terms of in-ring action and I was entertained enough to give it a thumbs up. If you want to see your usual main event players, though, then this will not be your kind of show. Next week’s RAW will be back in its regularly scheduled time slot, so we are thankfully done with these “Shotgun RAW” shows. Who knows, we might even get an appearance from Steve Austin!
Show Evaluation: Thumbs Up