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The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro–12.04.95

The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 12.04.95

Live from Phoenix, AZ

Your hosts are Eric Bischoff, Bobby Heenan and Mongo.

WCW World tag title: Harlem Heat v. The American Males

Stevie beats the ugly off of Riggs in the corner to start, but a pair of dropkicks get two. Stevie puts him down with a sideslam, but Riggs hits Booker with a forearm and the Males clean house. Bagwell with a sunset flip on Booker for two and the Males trap him in the corner while Col. Parker stops by to woo Sherri. We deal with that silliness while Booker gets a sidekick on Riggs for two, and Sherri decides to leave with Parker. The Heat don’t seem to notice the loss of their manager and continue beating on Riggs for a silent crowd. Booker with a nice spinning Black Dynamite style kung fu kick for two, and the Heat get a double gourdbuster while Booker yells at someone who is presumably a famous football person. Yay sports! Hot tag Bagwell and he’s the whorehouse of fire! Pervertplex on Stevie, but Riggs occupies the ref and the Harlem Hangover finishes Bagwell at 7:48. Dull but inoffensive. **

Sting and Lex Luger are out to reinforce their bonds of friendship, and although Sting doesn’t support Luger’s lifestyle choice (Jimmy Hart) he still supports him as a friend. But he’s not gonna cut him a break in the title match at Starrcade. Lex is cool with that. This was a really cool dynamic that you just didn’t see in wrestling before, with Luger acting as a heel but still being friends with the #1 babyface because they were actually separating the business and personal relationships.

Sting v. Kurasawa

Sting puts him on the floor and they have a quick brawl, but Kurasawa starts working on the arm in the ring. Sting fights back with the Stinger splash and finishes with the Scorpion at 2:35. Pretty much a squash. *

Scott Norton v. The Giant

Giant unleashes the clubbing forearms and slams Norton, but falls prey to an atomic drop. That was pretty impressive. Norton slugs away as Giant’s selling problems are exposed here. Norton goes up for something, but lands in a chokeslam at 2:40. *1/2

Ric Flair, joined by Charles Barkley, is out for an interview. Nothing much here.

WCW World title: Randy Savage v. Lex Luger

Savage goes on the offensive and chokes away in the corner to start, but Luger takes over with a cheapshot until Savage elbows him down for two. Savage goes to work on the arm and we take a break and return with Savage working on the arm after running it into the railing outside, and back in for a keylock. Luger makes the ropes and Savage gets a small package for two and goes to a hammerlock. To the floor and he sends Luger into the post, but misses a dive and hits the railing. I feel like we were ripped off from seeing a Savage-Pillman match in WCW where they take turns diving into the railing face-first. Back in, Savage is blinded and swinging wildly, allowing Luger to put him down with a clothesline for two. Luger drops elbows for two and follows with a kneelift as Bischoff clarifies that we’re watching wrestling and not “people talking about wrestling”. Ironically that’s what would beat WCW. The WWF couldn’t beat them at the wrestling, but they sure as shit did the gaga better. Back to the floor and Savage comes back in the ring with a clothesline for two. Luger gets rammed into an exposed turnbuckle, taking out the ref in the process, and the big elbow follows. This brings Flair in for a KO shot with brass knucks, but Hogan makes the save and keeps the ref from counting. So that’s a DQ at 18:32. Hogan goes to beat up Luger with no provocation, but Sting runs in to help his friend and gets belted by Hulk. Mind your own damn business, Hulk. ***

Back with everyone talking about wrestling in the ring, and Sting points out that Hogan’s hetero life partner Savage isn’t exactly a trustworthy fellow, either. HOW THE FUCK DID THEY NOT BOOK MEGAPOWERS V. STING & LUGER?!?

Next week: Sting & Hulk Hogan v Ric Flair & Arn Anderson!

Comments

  1. Virgil's Gimmick TableOctober 1, 2014 at 10:37 PM

    I'm terrified of this exact scenario. GFW is gonna be another Double J vanity project until Jarrett himself convinces me otherwise.

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  2. Virgil's Gimmick TableOctober 1, 2014 at 10:37 PM

    HEY LOOK AT THIS GUY OVER HERE. HE'S NOT REALLY TAKING A BREAK FROM THE BLOG. HE'S A BIG FAT PHONY.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Nah. Don't remember this Tim McCarver gem on Fox from 2007?

    "You would think that a leadoff walk would lead to more big innings than
    a leadoff home run. But we've done the research and it turns out that
    more big innings have come from leadoff home runs than leadoff walks."

    http://deadspin.com/311939/tim-mccarver-is-bucking-conventional-wisdom

    ReplyDelete
  4. "This was a really cool dynamic that you just didn’t see in wrestling before, with Luger acting as a heel but still being friends with the #1 babyface because they were actually separating the business and personal relationships."


    Oddly enough, wouldn't the WWF start going in this direction with Diesel and Shawn a few months later, with Diesel becoming the big bad heel, but deciding to stay friends with Shawn until it was time to cut him loose? It wasn't done nearly as effectively, but it was still pretty neat.

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  5. that also pretty much explains how Flair and Arn ended up together again after feuding for a bit

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  6. Lisa Marie has somehow gotten even better. When she got less toned and got an ass, Jesus.

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  7. How do you know it's for certain, though?

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  8. Somewhat. Diesel was mostly a face during that point, just with an attitude. Once he started messing with Undertaker they turned him on Shawn soon afterwards.

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  9. As a mark I didn't get why Savage loved Luger in the WWF and had a problem right away with him in WCW.

    ReplyDelete
  10. davidbonzaisaldanamontgomeryOctober 1, 2014 at 11:20 PM

    Yeah, rent is due, which will knock my account into double-digits for the next week and a half. Weekly is better, because I always liked my account getting replenished every Friday. I rather get paid X amount every week than 2X amount every fortnight.

    ReplyDelete
  11. Ha, if you knew me, that wouldn't exactly be the insult of choice.


    But weight-bigots are pretty much the modern 50's racists, and 80's homophobes.. So congrats on being outdated and considered neanderthalish in a decade or two..

    ReplyDelete
  12. How am I a bigot for pointing out you're fat? I'm not judging I'm not discriminating against you. I'd suggest that possibly you're projecting your own apparent bigotry onto others in a quest to make yourself feel better for being a self loathing fatty wrestling hipster.

    Fatty

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  13. This got weird. Like calling Joan Rivers the N-word kind of weird.

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  14. Someone totally needs to start calling their finisher The Pervertplex.

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  15. I never made that connection! Good point.

    ReplyDelete
  16. Val Venis was even using the move at one point! That's just a sad missed opportunity.

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  17. "HOW THE FUCK DID THEY NOT BOOK MEGAPOWERS V. STING & LUGER?!?"

    Cause Hogan doesn't work in December, brother. Rewatching these it is obvious that should have been the main event of Starrcade. Have the horseman help Flair win world war 3 and then pick up 1996 as it did. I really don't think they were thinking that far ahead.

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  18. CruelConnectionNumber2October 2, 2014 at 12:38 AM

    Harper actually did a Jason Lee gimmick on the indies before becoming a crazy trucker (which he basically kept into his current state). Vince just saw Mallrats and will have him do stinkpalms to ONeil and Slater on upcoming Raws. It'll be as edgy as SLIME from Nickelodeon 1990.

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  19. Maybe Luger had lust in his eyes.

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  20. Stacy Keibler.. just perfect

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  21. Maybe he didn't trust Luger because of the way Luger left WWF and showed up in WCW immediately challenging Hogan.

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  22. He showed him up on the USS Intrepid. Randy was just waiting for the right time to send his receipt.

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  23. "HOW THE FUCK DID THEY NOT BOOK MEGAPOWERS V. STING & LUGER?!?"


    Say it with me kids..... Because WCW.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Not, like, that soon. I think Diesel and Taker started beefing around the Rumble, and he turned on Shawn juuuuuust before Mania (it was a Shawn/Diesel vs. Bret/Taker tag match at a house show that's on YouTube somewhere, IIRC). So they did the frenemies thing for about two or three months, which is eons in wrestling time.

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  25. How is a porn star a pervert?

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  26. Has anyone heard about WHY they're splitting them up?

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  27. Randy could detect lust years in advance.

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  28. Eh, if it's the article I just read, author's Defcon Meltzer on "This might happen if it happens but if not..." type stuff. Plus, again, if what I read, twas speculated for awhile now in fairly non-spoilery places. I think I should stop reading about production though until there's a trailer because I haven't really seen much story-wise that makes me think JJ's going to do a good job. Though I'm liking he seems to want to keep it as practical/prop driven as possible

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  29. Everything I've read so far tells me he is going to knock it out of the park, especially all the little details about the story so far.

    As for the spoiler, from the way other people who cover this stuff were acting, makes me think it is legit.

    ReplyDelete
  30. I hope so, like I said, digging how he's going about the aesthetic of things, hoping in action, my ocd plot so far gripes disappear. The only thing that bugs me about the spoiler is the idea it leaves off a cliffhanger. So that puts us back another 4-5 years to find out why

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  31. Heh. Icon Matt Hardy. Right.

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  32. I'm going to kick his 7 foot tall ass.

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  33. They'd rather booked it on nitro than on PPV... same with Hogan & Hart vs Sting & Warrior or Lex Luger vs Bret Hart or Hogan vs Goldberg or so.

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  34. Poor Scotty Riggs ... AMERICAN MALES~!

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  35. Is it possible they took the negative reaction to Bryan joining and concluded that the idea of any established stars joining was a bad idea?

    ReplyDelete
  36. "Yep Mode" ABeyAnce1©October 2, 2014 at 5:36 AM

    One bit of logic I will never understand.

    ReplyDelete
  37. AMERICAN MALES~!

    AMERICAN MALES~!

    AMERICAN MALES~!

    AMERICAN MALES~!

    AMERICAN MALES~!

    AMERICAN MALES~!

    AMERICAN MALES~!



    I'll tell ya.....that's some catchy shit.

    ReplyDelete
  38. I like to believe that if Megapowers v. Sting/Luger had occurred, Armageddon would begin and the universe would explode. So really....they saved us all.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Luger was indirectly responsible for getting Savage fired from the WWF because he saved him from the postmatch beatdown. Maybe Luger didn't return Savage's phonecall to say thanks and Savage got pissed.

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  40. Yeah, I would think when DDP was stalking Undertaker's fugly wife....HE should've used the pervertplex. Makes more sense.

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  41. I heard Jack Tunney bought Savage a lust detector for his birthday one year. My sources are anonymous.

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  42. I remember a similar scenario, where Piper and Flair were suddenly best friends in 1997 WCW, while they were sworn enemies back in 1991-1992. I was like "Did something happen in between their WWF and WCW stints??"

    ReplyDelete
  43. Like Kurasawa, I get squashed.
    K, I don't get squashed,
    but if I did I'd be a samurai?

    ReplyDelete
  44. They're not, but it still woulda worked. Then again i imagine anyone who gets to have sex all day on command with beautiful women until it starts to feel like work probably needs to do some really freaky shit to get off in their private life.

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  45. They see big money in Bray Wyatt as a face. Bray Wyatt's hootenanny round up will get over his the kids HUGE. The most promising face development since the 1-800-FELLA vignettes Sheamus had. Every kid in the audience is going to need their own foam brown jug. GETTIN' JUGGY WITH IT!!!

    ReplyDelete
  46. My first thought as I saw the picture was, "Cafe Press really needs to hire someone to block purchases from time to time."

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  47. Sounds like something you'd read in Vic Venom's The Insider column in the WWF magazine.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Needs more "....." and grammatical errors.

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  49. I'm glad they didn't win the tag titles. I was getting tired of every single team having their small run as tag champs. I enjoy long, dominant title reigns, and the Wyatts not winning them just made the Usos seem like a huge deal.

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  50. savage and luger was the never ending feud in wcw...

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  51. Joshi is awesome!

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  52. I can't speak for everyone, but it was EXACTLY the wrestling in the WWF and the lack of wrestling in WCW that made me stop watching WCW. Angle, Foley, Benoit, Austin, Rock, HHH, and Jericho were all killing it in the ring, and WCW would either bait-and-switch, start their main event with 5 minutes left in the show, do run-ins for every match, ugh. You NEVER got a match payoff to anything in WCW.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Extant1979 - Ghetto SuperstarOctober 2, 2014 at 6:33 AM

    Dream 1996 four-corners match: Megapowers vs. Sting/Luger vs. Steiners vs. Road Warriors

    It should have happened.

    ReplyDelete
  54. MikeyMike, WitnessOctober 2, 2014 at 6:43 AM

    Were the Steiners and the Road Warriors around at the same time? I seem to recall maybe like a month in the spring of 96 but that's it.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Lots of generalizations there. Only a Sith deals in absolutes, you know. I seem to remember Goldberg vs. Hogan had a good payoff.

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  56. Will the winners get to face Randy Orton and Corporate Kane or Randy Orton and Demon Kane?

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  57. I find the whole thing ridiculous. An over the top champagne celebration because you finished 2nd in your division and advanced to a one game playoff to maybe advance to an actual playoff series? Pop the champagne when you actually win something.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Breakfast soda is never that good of an idea.

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  59. Just to add more to the "Vic Venom" comment:
    How did Russo ever get hired in the first place? If you've ever actually read his stuff, it reads as though this person probably never graduated high school. I mean, it's pretty terrible. Entertaining? Yes (which probably answers why he actually got the job). The grammar and the prose? Fucking awful.

    ReplyDelete
  60. I’d watch Buffy all day in bed with AJ. That doesn’t sound
    like being whipped at all. That sounds like being fucking awesome. I’d never,
    ever, ever go back on the road if that was my life.

    ReplyDelete
  61. "I'm not anti WWE at all ... Knowing the WWE I would expect them to push him as a fun loving hill billy. Cue the brown jug and ho downs."

    apparently johntcole knows you better than you know you

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  62. Yeah well when all of said names were in the WWF, the Russo reign of terror was beginning in WCW. So you have a point.

    ReplyDelete
  63. TATANKA! BUFFALO!

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  64. I seem to vaguely recall WWF hiring him just to shut him up because he had a radio show where he kept bashing WWF during the steriod trials.

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  65. Was he a grandstander and a hotdogger too?

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  66. Which explains how he knew the slut that 13 year old St....never mind...

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  67. I thought this gimmick was worth saving if they added more members to it. Cults aresupposed to be good at recruiting ppl.

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  68. It was a payoff with NO buildup. Literally none. I think it was JJ Dillon who just came out and announced they were fighting. And it was a shit match. AWESOME atmosphere and crowd response, but nothing special from a wrestling standpoint.

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  69. how do you make Bray a face then? He's a cult leader for the fans? I'm just saying, change to a face. He's gonna be a fun loving hill billy instead of an evil crazy hill billy. I don't understand what about that makes me anti wwe.

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  70. One could make an entire alternate universe of WCW matches that SHOULD'VE happened, but never did.

    Back when I used to play EWR I would use 1996/1997/1998 WCW scenarios and book all the potentially great matches that WCW never took advantage of -- including having world champion Goldberg face actual main eventers (As opposed to guys like Scott Norton and 27 matches against The Giant).

    It's insane to think about how many potential money matches WCW pissed away from 1994 to the bitter end.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Kane, Big Show, Mark Henry, Khali are all old. They need to keep Rowen and Harper around just to have big guys to squash to get get squashed.

    ReplyDelete
  72. Scott Norton was so underutilized. Definitely could've been booked better as a monster heel.

    ReplyDelete
  73. The Love-Matic Grampa!October 2, 2014 at 8:54 AM

    That's why I don't think Rowan and Harper should be split, because both guys can definitely fill much-needed roles, and if they do go singles I suspect that one of them is doomed (and it might not be the one we think). They would be a perfectly acceptable JTTS team to put over the babyface duo of the month and maybe get a brief title run here and there.

    WWE really has to stop throwing out the baby with the bathwater.

    ReplyDelete
  74. The Love-Matic Grampa!October 2, 2014 at 8:56 AM

    At least the matches were good.

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  75. My first thought was "Not another fucking picture of Meekin"

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  76. The Love-Matic Grampa!October 2, 2014 at 9:09 AM

    I suspect Windham Rotunda will absolutely get another shot at success. Bray Wyatt, though? Time will tell, but WWE isn't always known for its patience or foresight when it comes to gimmicks that are perceived to have "failed".

    ReplyDelete
  77. They should have ditched the Dungeon of Doom nonsense and had the Horsemen reformation lead to Flair and company playing the Hogan/Savage/Luger/Sting contingent off each other. Sullivan's cartoon act didn't help anything. Hell, they could have even done it at Halloween Havoc. Once Flair/Arn/Pillman unite to kill Sting, have them return in the main event and cost Hogan the title. Giant ditches the Dungeon and joins the Horsemen. Benoit doesn't get added, but he would have been just fine as a lone wolf. Flair wants Giant because he's the biggest most dominant monster around. Flair as the manipulative dickhead was always a favorite of mine and having him play Luger/Sting/Hogan/Savage off each other would have been great.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Yeah, that dude looked legit scary. Might have made a decent Horseman if they had interest in building him up.

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  79. Matt Hardy certainly has come a long way in the eyes of PTB since repeatedly being named Asshole of the Week a few years ago.

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  80. At the beginning of the year they had this stable main event over, super heated, and ready to move to the next level. Now they're Rybaxel.

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  81. "Winning a match" would have been a good step to keeping their heat. Instead they were cannon fodder for the worthless Usos.

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  82. That's the gimmick. His act in ROH was the washed up ex-WWE guy who thinks he's still a big shot because he made it to the WWE and all the ROH guys are just indie geeks.

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  83. Oh yeah totally... once I read and heard that he cleaned up and atoned and got himself straight I was back on his side. So glad he got past those issues because it was ugly for a while.

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  84. The concept of Hakushi teaching Barry how to be Japanese woulda worked a lot better than the other way around.

    ReplyDelete
  85. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lhAVdKYAl-E

    ReplyDelete

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