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The real WWE problem


Scott, 

With all the hullabaloo over the Q3 earnings and the delay of the WWE network in the UK, I think people are missing an even bigger issue.

The WWE has yet to respond to the critics with a petulant wrestling gimmick.

From Irwin R. Schyster to Billionaire Ted to Right To Censor, the WWE has a long, storied history of mocking anyone who gave them shit. Where is that fire now? Where is the Financial Analyst wrestler decrying the WWE Network? The disgruntled investor? Why hasn't Bo Dallas been repackaged as a smarmy "Wolf of Wolf Street" type stockbroker who is working to lower the price of WWE stock so he can sell high later? He's VK Wallstreet Jr for crissakes! 

The Vince McMahon of old would deal with this criticism by wrapping it around a midcarder and having John Cena put him through a table every night until it went away.

Don't believe the hype. The real news is the WWE has grown up and grown soft. That is the real tragedy.

Mike

And they have BOTH MEMBERS of Money Inc under contract and working as agents!  

Clearly Vince went soft the moment he allowed himself to be talked out of beating up a guy in a panda suit in 2002.  It was all downhill from there.  

Comments

  1. "Clearly Vince went soft the moment he allowed himself to be talked out of beating up a guy in a panda suit in 2002. It was all downhill from there"



    Please tell me this is a thing that almost happened.

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  2. THE GENETIC JACKHAMMER NEVER GOES SOFT, GODDAMMIT

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  3. Yup. First show after the lawsuit was in England and they had that segment booked for it until Vince was talked out of it at the last minute.

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  4. The difference is that now Vince actually cares what other rich Americans/media think of him and the wrestling business. It's true - Vince (and with him the entire wrestling industry) has gone soft

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  5. I love hearing new Vince stories.

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  6. This makes me a sad panda.

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  7. Whoever talked him out of it should have been immediately future endeavored.

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  8. There's a simple formula.


    1) Take a slightly daft idea.


    2) CRANK IT UP TO ELEVEN, GODDAMIT!


    2.5) Add midgets.


    3) Ratings.

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  9. Ah, the vindictive wrestling gimmick. One of my favorite sub-categories.


    Virgil is probably still the best one.

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  10. A Jordan Belfort gimmick would be awesome. Wrestling always has had fancy elitist rich guys, i bet a loud obnoxious rich degenerate stumbling around drunkenly would get over well. And for that matter, why hasn't therr been a Patrick Bateman style rich psycho?

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  11. I know that Vince loves money, but I imagine that it irked him to no end that Dusty Rhodes took that bullshit polka dot gimmick and got way over with it.

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  12. TOTALLY agree. Granted, American Psycho is my favorite movie. But Patrick Bateman is a character archetype I can't remember them ever using, and it would be awesome. My coworker and I were *just* talking about this exact topic last week, and neither of us could think of a wrestler like that. It doesn't even need to be gimmicky or specific.

    Damien Sandow would, I think, be tremendous with this gimmick.

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  13. It's been a long, long time since we had a topical "comedy" segment on the level of Trump vs. Rosie or Hillary vs. Obama.

    Let's keep it that way.

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  14. I think there's room for that kind of silliness. The problem is whenever they do those segments, they usually are way too goddamn long.

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  15. It takes a lot for an entire WWE audience to chant TNA. Hopefully he learned a valuable lesson that day.

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  16. They should create a character who's a wrestling fan that hasn't subscribed to the network. They can call him an idiot and make fun of him for paying for PPVs. $$$$

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  17. TNA was going for that with Sam Shaw at first but LOLTNA.

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  18. They should've given it to Derrick Bateman

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  19. i would love it if Bradshaw revealed himself as a large stockholder and tried to take the company back back to the top managing a stable. Problem is there is no chance in hell they would ever admit their shortcomings/failures on tv.

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  20. maybe the ecw zombie could do it

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  21. I disagree because that's the beauty of a thing like this: if it doesn't get over and the worker is embarassed > "haha, jokes on him". if he manages to make it worker and get it over > Vince makes a lot of money because of it. so he "wins" either way.

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  22. That was Heenan's idea for a name

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  23. JBL would also be the face in this scenario, and no thank you to face JBL.

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  24. How did he not know Dusty can get over? He's always done it.

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  25. 'Billy Dialup': But GUYS, I'm one of the tens of millions of Americans still not served by broadband internet providers!


    Cena: HA!! LOSER!

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  26. Thing is, he booked Dusty to win his first feud against Bossman, then go at the very least 50/50 with Savage. So it was clear Vince wanted to push him.

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  27. Wasn't there someone who posted here like a year or two ago who confirmed that? Supposedly he worked for the WWE up until Survivor Series '11and dished on some backstage stuff

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  28. Why not book a hostile takeover where someone is trying to overtake the company?

    The man behind it is of course................

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  29. Fandango would make a great American Psycho

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  30. I'm confused. I vaguely remember such a guy but I'm not sure what specifically you're talking about him confirming.

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  31. Yeah, he definitely has the look for it.
    You know what else would get him over? Just coming out and saying, "I'm done with dancing for all of you" and just kicking someone in the head.

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  32. We'll get there soon enough with Cena saving us from Mother Russia.

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  33. I really think WWE needs Vince to be booked like Gollum on tv. There's a whole Vince/Mr. McMahon Split Personality thing going on.

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  34. His calling Stephanie 'Precious' might put off some viewers.

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  35. 'This is for the natural gas embargo on Ukraine! *fireman's carry Attitude Adjustment!*

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  36. Pimp Drop. It's a Pimp Drop

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  37. I'd say the coffee which was tainted and caused vomiting is in the same ball park.

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  38. I don't buy that Vince wanted to bury Dusty. He wasn't going to be taken seriously in 90s WWF as the old fat man he was. May as well make him stand out with the costume and have a fun character with Sapphire.

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  39. He'd have to eviscerate a few Divas wouldn't he? Not that I'm necessarily opposed to the idea.

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  40. Dusty's original conception of Saphhire was supposed to be a prostitute.

    Man, Dusty's year in the WWF was a really interesting one, when you think about it.

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  41. If they want to go all the way with this Rusev thing, Lana managing to wrest control of the company away and instituting a Communist paradise would be awesome. Wrestlers would have to wear generic trunks and use public domain theme music, as anything else is bourgeois. An atmosphere of paranoia is fostered backstage, as Lana creates a secret police to ensure the rules are followed while providing exceptions for wrestlers who support the state. And they could have Cesaro wait in bread lines!

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  42. also, there is huge difference between "poking fun at someone" and "burying him".

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  43. This is the new Russia, not the Soviet Union! Crony championshipism would be the mantra of the day: only certain preferred entities and wrestlers would have title shots while the rest rotted away on the mica- wait a minute...

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  44. "Wrestlers would have to wear generic trunks and use public domain theme music, as anything else is bourgeois..."

    Are you calling Dixie Carter a commie?

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  45. It wouldn't be the first time.

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  46. Of course, which makes it all the more hilarious when they mock WCW now while currently doing the same things they mock WCW for.

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  47. Justice League season 1 had quite a few bad episodes. Fury was definitely one of them.


    Season 2 was much much better.


    Most of JLU was good as well.

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  48. Apparently he's killing it in TNA right now as Ethan Carter III. One of the few bright spots in the company.

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  49. Thus qualified to do the job, yes.

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  50. Ten bucks and a pizza says it was Johnny Ace.

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  51. Truer words were never spoken.

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  52. I remember he talked about how they wanted to (or were going to) evolve Cody's "Dashing" character to more along the lines of the Patrick Bateman character but the higher ups didn't want to

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  53. Gunther the Nasty LoserNovember 4, 2014 at 1:44 PM

    "They are STILL trying to get Rey back?"

    But they already have Ryback

    /You :)

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  54. Watching the Jericho Monday Night War on the live stream now. It's a pretty good show. Someone was bizzarely arguing here recently that WWE no longer acts like Benoit doesn't exist, but they just had a segment on the shocking jump of Saturn, Malenko and Eddy Guerrero (with lots of EXTREME ZOOMS to focus solely on these three people), and it was a little obvious what was missing.

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  55. Sean O'Hare?

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  56. There's also a leaked photo of him being the other fourth member of Evolution when Batista was injured, but Jindrak looked like a total goober in a suit.

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  57. How many GOOD topical gimmicks/segments/storylines have there been anyway? Only two that come to mind are LAX and the HBK/JBL feud in 09.

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  58. Harlan Leverage IIINovember 4, 2014 at 1:52 PM

    You're sure about point 3?

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  59. How hard is it to arrange a Rey program starting at Rumble and him retiring at WM, then doing HOF the year after? Assuming he somehow doesnt get injured in that process...

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  60. We could get something similar, there's a chance that Vince might see Wall Street soon.

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  61. Has Vince pulled this sort of stunt since the Kroenke BS five years ago?

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  62. And don't forget "Akeem the African Dream" was a poke at Dusty too.

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  63. Better not watch their intergender "match"

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  64. The worst part about burning through old tv shows is the damn theme. I'm only finishing season 3 of Roseanne and already I'm sick of the theme song.

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  65. I think you're confusing American Psycho with Actual Psycho.

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  66. It changes slightly at the end when they add words. Same tune though.

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  67. I think it varies throughout as well. I seem to remember some laid back, slow and lazy version at one point.

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  68. BILLY DIALUP.



    You win everything. I am mailing you $16 and all my leftover Halloween candy.

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  69. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANNovember 4, 2014 at 2:06 PM

    Can't be creepier than the first one. And he WON the feud and never got any comeuppance, due to Kane's magical front loader skills.

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  70. They mess with it a bit as the seasons go on, Season 1 is super basic, season 2 and 3 they add drums, and yeah like PTB said they eventually go with lyrics for the last season or two.


    It's still unfuckingbearable.

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  71. It really is amazing that they hired him less than a year later.


    Oh, and don't forget Reo Rodgers. Man, Big Dust must hold the record for Most Gimmicks Designed to Mock a Particular Person.

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  72. The immediate dropping of Muhammad Hassan was my first sign that Vince was losing his grapefruits. I just never knew how far downhill it would go.

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  73. WHAT DOESN'T KILL US IS MAKING US STRONGER

    WE'RE GONNA LAST LONGER


    I forget the rest.

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  74. He had no choice.

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  75. FUCK FUCK MOTHERFUCKING FUCKING FUCK people are so fucking stupid.

    #LifeInACallCenter

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  76. Ha. I *just* said this yesterday, that I was surprised they didn't have a heel called "The Investor".

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  77. It's pretty easy to do it when the network says drop it or we drop you.

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  78. Still more appropriate than Hogan/Brooke

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  79. I fully support this idea. But, I think it's already moot since Rusev is siding with the Authority. Hrmph.

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  80. ...the Twins shortstop?

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  81. Not on my shitty stolen stream, they have the same playback capability as some paid subscription services.

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  82. Isn't simply a case of the McMahon's are the only people with any real stock? Their millionaire standing is pretty much dictated by how much their stock is perceived as being worth so obviously they don't want to draw attention to that particular area of business. Also It's one thing to (bluntly) act like detractors, who are trying to drive away business, are dicks, but you can't do the same if it's about people who have an investment in your company.

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  83. I'm shocked they pulled the plug on the Xavier Woods/Kofi Kingston/Big E stable. I was convinced they were going to do it after the Atlantic article about WWE's race problem.

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  84. That was my short thought sequence as well, but Vince getting pushed around by UPN was something new to me. They have run angles much worse for years past, and no one ever wrote the re-wrote script for him.


    Granted...the London Bombings and all. But it just seems like it was a turning point towards this kiddy crap that we have gotten for the last 10 years.

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  85. So, Scott realized my banning was a mistake and has unbanned me. Just wanted to let people know, as it was not me who posted the picture.

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  86. This is almost as good as Kane almost having a 2 foot cock in See No Evil.

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  87. There's something about a great wall in China....

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  88. Suck it Bayless?

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  89. I was pretty happy with the episode, as I thought there'd be a lot more WCW bashing than there was. Interesting that they mentioned and showed Benoit in a previous episode, but not here.

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  90. Where is Fandango these days?

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  91. YankeesHoganTripleHFanNovember 4, 2014 at 2:38 PM

    Ah so THAT'S the explaination for the Gobbledy Gooker. Vince had an issue with a turkey farm.

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  92. They aired the Hassan thing the same day as the London bombings even though everyone knew it was a horrible idea. They got so much backlash that it was just a no-win situation

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  93. Right, IP's always lie.

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  94. We need you on the case Detective Cresto

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  95. Well considering they're still doing things together on the house show circuit Id suggest your shock is premature.

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  96. Vince is still a millionaire even without the stock. Billionaire status though? Yeah that hinges on the wwe stock.

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  97. I hope they bring Rey back as #30 in the Royal Rumble this year!

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  98. Something about rain and how WE MIGHT JUST GET SOME SUUU-UUUUN.

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  99. Yup! He and Kent Hrbek have bided their time for a hostile takeover.

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  100. Honestly I'm surprised no one has suggested the original photo poster was me just based on my coincidentally doing this dumb bit at the same time.

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  101. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©November 4, 2014 at 2:45 PM

    Jobbing at house shows. Probably.

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  102. Ah. That's too bad. He would have been terrific in that role.

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  103. This all reminds me of:

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VBtHXC-JOX8

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  104. Yeah, that was way more Tyler Durden than Patrick Bateman. Could've worked, but whether it was the writing or O'Hare's performance, the execution wasn't quite there.

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  105. That's who that is? Yeah, I guess I can see why people say WWE missed the boat on that dude in the very little I've seen of him.

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  106. Sweet.

    Now I can rest easy when I go to bed tonight.

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  107. Why did I think Kent Hrbek was dead? I'm not confusing him with Kirby Puckett. I thought Hrbek was dead too, and I don't know why.
    Anyway, I think Hrbek belongs in the ring. Just ask Ron Gant. He got suplexed right the fuck off of 1st base in the '91 World Series.

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  108. Souns pretty random. Who would you choose for the #40 spot?

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  109. No. They are just messing with you.

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  110. Dear BoD:

    What's the REAL problem with WWE?

    YOU know what I mean.

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  111. But whose side are you on?

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  112. So someone went out of there way to not only find a picture of Abeyance, but to also somehow figure out your IP address, create another account with the same name as another poster on the board, create the name with your same IP address, and then post said picture?

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  113. But whose side are they on?

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  114. The real problem with the WWE is that it's Mr. Burn's assistant. It's in its early 40s, unmarried, and currently resides in the high 2.0s of the TV ratings.

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  115. This is what I don't understand. If this person was trying to pretend to be John Edwards, and somehow has access to everyone's IP's to impersonate Kyle....why wouldn't he have impersonated John Edwards.


    Kyle did it. Or the person that did is a fucking retard. Those are the only options.

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  116. He might even be in!

    @Hrbie14 Nothin better than WWF NASCAR racing.

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  117. I think Sting gets stupider every year.

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  118. Be nice. People who actually have mental retardation don't deserve to be lumped in with this pointlessly banal internet creepiness.

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  119. Oh come on, you know Vince's real side project would be in it's early 20s at least.


    Wait, we're not talking about women are we?

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  120. You know, looking back, Hassan can tell his kids, "I was killed off by the Undertaker".


    That's pretty cool in hindsight.

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  121. You have a problem with pointlessly banal internet creepiness? Because I am pointlessly banal internet creepiness.

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  122. No you're not.

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  123. I'm enjoying this episode of Raw on Hulu.

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  124. Exactly, "commie" is way above her reading level.


    She probably thinks a "commie" is something that indicates a pause between parts of a sentence.

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  125. The breadth of my knowledge of Minnesotans extends to Kent Hrbek (actually from Minneapolis, didn't just play there), Jesse Ventura, the Gagnes, the Hennigs, and Bork Laser. So I'm just inclined to believe that every person from that state can suplex folks.

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  126. Is Jindrak still around?

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  127. also a notable omission of Chyna, since that was the program that got Jericho off of Heat and back into the IC picture Interesting they all sold Jericho's debut as the greatest thing ever since in his book he is unsatisfied with it and notes Vince wasn't happy with it either because, god forbid" he wasn't a bad ass like all the other heels in WWF at the time.

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  128. He be great in the remake of the Wizard of OZ.

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  129. There was no way the WWE could have predicted the London bombings. But once it happened the day before Smackdown aired, They were left with no option but kill off the character.

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  130. That's the worst part of watching shows on DVD, no matter how great the theme tune is normally. Once you sit through it 4-5 times a night for several nights you mute the tv as soon as the theme tune starts.

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  131. He's a teacher in upstate NY. He can tell his students

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  132. Cole ain't that bad, but i don't watch that much - so my witness isn't that credible. I did like JBL joking on Kevin Nash -- Kevin Nash is bigger than ever!!!!!

    They need to hire that Howard Cosell impersonator.

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  133. Watching The Wrestling Classic on the Network and I 've realised that despite the constant documentaries and coverage all the other early Rock n' Wrestling landmarks get, this show never gets mentioned despite being the first ever PPV they put out.
    There's got to be enough ammo for a hour long doc, or we could just get a Austin/Vince doc because we've never seen that yet

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  134. Watching the Cinema Sins "Everything Wrong with Training Day" and uh...


    Damn I really need to see Training Day again that movie rules.

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  135. Guy pulls out a knife - screams I could bleep kill you -- and the announcers scramble like eggs. Uh, it was a pair of scissors and I think he was going to cut off Big Al's Beard and I think that might have happened during the 2000 Sullivan regime.

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  136. The Terry Funk & Moondog Spot match is either the most creatively booked or the worst match I've ever seen.

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  137. KING KONG BUNDY AINT GOT NOTHIN ON ME!!!

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  138. It seems weird they never have interest in doing any of those 80's type docs, I guess because mostly everyone is dead?


    I'd love a doc on the first SNME and all the madness that must have gone on to get that thing produced.

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  139. Watching Raw on Hulu -- Big Show and Mark Henry are locked in a blood feud! THE TIME MACHINE TO 2011 WORKED.


    Actually I've been mostly enjoying this.

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  140. It was a really, really good Raw.

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  141. "...That's not a question, Professor!"

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  142. There is so much material they can draw on looking back on the Rock n Wrestling era rather than keep going back to the Attitude era well.
    Although they probably have more people buying Austin shirts than Hillbilly Jim shirts.

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  143. Does free for news subscribers mean that they have to commit to a month anyway? Or can they cancel?


    AND WHAT THE FUCK DOES A FAITFUL DAY ONE SUBSCRIBER LIKE ME GET?

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  144. Eventually we'll get some day one issues resolved I bet.

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  145. Like seriously...whose side are they on?

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  146. Abeyance's picture.

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  147. Lots of shows need gangbangers.


    He could have been a Mayan on the Sons of Anarchy.

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  148. Also, why isn't HHH on Team Authority? I mean, Stephanie is all "we need the best team ever" and HHH isn't taking that an invitation to suit up?

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  149. Adds for Hulu on Hulu + are as stupid as adds for WWE Network on the WWE Network.

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  150. Other option, and I imagine this has already been looked into.


    Whoever it was is some sort of forum admin and got the IP's that way, and maybe he only could get Kyle's IP because John doesn't have an account, and maybe he then figured if he made it a double bluff no one would catch him because they'd either blame John or Kyle and never suspect him, and maybe this person is definitely Cult.

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  151. AJ Lee is gonna have to carry Nikki to some kind of match? Ugh poor girl.

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  152. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©November 4, 2014 at 3:53 PM

    That's the ultimate threat.

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  153. Austin and who?

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  154. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©November 4, 2014 at 3:54 PM

    They have a nice big man chemistry going with each other.

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  155. Here's another thing: So, Survivor Series is free this month, right? And you can put together a whole card of Survivor Series matches without one signle match, then have those matches build to the next month ppv with the TLC and stipulation matches. I mean wouldn't that make sense? Give away the Survivor Series as all tag team matches, then set up the singles matches for the next month. Obviously they're doing Team Cena v. Team Authority to save Cena v. Rollins for next month. Do that with Team Bray v. Team Ambrose (and do the old DCOR with the captains to set up next month in some kind of no-dq stipulation match).


    Instead, I bet we get the one five-on-five match and then a bundch of singles matches, then a bunch of singles rematches the next month.

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  156. Or...it's one of the mods! Or Scott!

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  157. I think he'll definitely end up being on it.


    What's the status on Batista? Also, maybe Jericho as well on the face side.

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  158. Amazingly enough they've actually pixelated Bob Orton's ass crack when his trunks get pulled down for leverage. UNCUT & UNCENSORED!

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  159. I thought DiBiase stopped being an agent?

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  160. I wonder if WCW had stayed in business through 2001 if The Cat would have gotten the title? He was really fucking awesome. (Except for the in ring, but I even love the loaded red shoe gimmick)

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  161. Adam "Colorado" CurryNovember 4, 2014 at 4:13 PM

    Fuck that, I'm not working for Vince.

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  162. Adam "Colorado" CurryNovember 4, 2014 at 4:14 PM

    Yeah, he works for CMLL.

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  163. Wrestling is like the mafia. No one really leaves unless they die.

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  164. Didn't it happen the morning of the airings, and as a result there was no way to even pull the segment, because every station would have needed to do that?

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  165. No. They are actually that fucking stupid.


    Occam's Razor.

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  166. The whole Dirvivor Series thing will spill into another HHH vs Orton feud. I have no credible sources on that. It isn't fact. It is my guess.

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  167. Does anyone know what Bam Bam doing a stretcher job from some kind of heart attack or something after he beat the wall was all about? Did that angle ever lead anywhere or is just some wcw swerve effect thing?

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  168. so...many...swerves

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  169. Are the Harris Brothers still alive? Seems like they'd be great to be repackaged as The Cable Company, the team set to destroy the WWE Network and force people back to the PPV model

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  170. Gordon Bombay and the Mighty Ducks, you're welcome.

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  171. Ordered some pasta for delivery and a cool refreshing Mountain Dew.

    Got a Mellow Yellow instead.

    RAGE!

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  172. Biff Kensington IIINovember 4, 2014 at 4:45 PM

    I can remember several years ago when the reverse was true: people kept coming back from the late '80s and early '90s, and people were clammoring for Attitude Era stars.

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  173. Biff Kensington IIINovember 4, 2014 at 4:46 PM

    "Cool refreshing Mountain Dew"? Who the Hell you trying to impress? LEL

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  174. http://news.yahoo.com/video/man-eats-95-meals-olive-170047766.html

    Should have been me. Regrets...

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  175. He had his run, they made money off him, now let the guy go. How many years has it been now that Rey's wanted out of his contract? I've never understood WWE's position on this one.

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  176. I know! Mr. Fancy-pants with the Mountain Dew...

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  177. I would have bought one if I had an Olive Garden near me. Spaghetti is about the only thing I know how to make so I eat it every other day anyway. I would be in Olive Garden almost as much as that guy. $100 for 7 weeks of meals is a bargain.

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  178. Not a huge fan of them, but $100 for 7 weeks? No problem.

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  179. You haven't paid much attention to the WWE's history of booking black guys have you?

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  180. The moon landing was faked.

    Occam's Razor.

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  181. It would be classic WWE for them to create a chust-thumping Wolf of Wall Street type character a good year after the the movie faded from pop culture relevence. In fact, judging by WWE's always off pop-culture clock, we should expect a Looper or Great Gatsby inspired character very soon.

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  182. Oh man I forgot about that. Fantastically lame.

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  183. But that was easily one of the shittiest matches in recent memory on Raw, just too long and terrible.

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  184. I'll take a crab juice.

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