by Logan Scisco
-A video package recaps Steve Austin crashing
Vince McMahon’s championship ceremony last week and Kane and the Undertaker’s
subsequent attack on McMahon.
-Jim Ross and Jerry
“The King” Lawler are doing commentary and they are taped from East Lansing,
Michigan.
-Opening Contest
for the European Championship: D-Lo
Brown (w/Mark Henry) beats X-Pac (Champion w/Chyna) with a Lo Down to win the
title at 5:18:
D-Lo earned this title shot by winning the six man, four
corner elimination match on last week’s show.
A minute into the match, Chyna is served another legal summons and Henry
laughs at her. This match has a unique
formula, as D-Lo dominates in the early going and X-Pac stages his comeback,
not getting a shine at the beginning.
D-Lo fakes a knee injury and that enables Henry to catch X-Pac’s pescado
attempt, ram him into the post, and roll him into the ring where D-Lo captures
the European title for the second time. Rating:
** (1 for 1)
-Vince McMahon is
shown yelling at a nurse at an undisclosed medical facility.
-The Oddities are
shown playing touch football with the Insane Clown Posse for some reason.
-Please buy Stridex
and get these Triple H posters! They
have been shilling this since June.
-In the new feud no
one cares about, the Headbangers call out the Insane Clown Posse and beat them
down with a chair until the Oddities literally walk out to make the save. 1 for
2
-Footage of Steve
Austin cutting off Vince McMahon’s satellite feed on Sunday Night Heat is shown.
-Call 815-734-1161
to get your Steve Austin 3:16 baseball jersey for $39 (plus $9 shipping &
handling)!
-Ross and Lawler
fill time talking about the outcome of the Breakdown main event and the events
that took place between the main players on last week’s show.
-McMahon grows
irate at the medical facility when Mankind barges in. He does not care for the balloons or candy that
Mankind brings him or Yurple the Clown.
The segment is notable because Mankind debuts Mr. Socko here. McMahon’s disgusted “Mr. Socko” at the end
still cracks me up. 2 for
3
-Check out Pacific
Blue this week as Sable goes to a female prison facility!
-Sable comes out to
do commentary for the next match and Tori, her yet to be named obsessed fan, stands
behind her in the crowd.
-“Marvelous” Marc
Mero (w/Jacqueline) beats Vader with Marvelocity at 4:12:
Sable lets us know that she wants the women’s title
because she now wants to be a serious wrestler “in this business!” This is a match that I would have enjoyed in
1996, 1998 not so much. Vader dominates
the action, but Jacqueline tries to interfere and that distraction leads to a
low blow and a Mero win. Rating:
¾* (2 for 4)
-Jacqueline calls
out Sable after the match and cheap shots her after Mero causes a
distraction. Jacqueline cuts a chunk out
of Sable’s hair and carries it off like a trophy.
-Steven Regal, a “Real
Man’s Man” is shown making orange juice with his bare hands.
-Owen Hart is
scheduled to face Edge, but he walks out in street clothes and apologizes for
hurting Dan Severn last week. Fighting
off tears, he leaves, so Edge wins by forfeit.
-Steve Austin’s
Zamboni attack last week is the 10-0-321 Rewind segment.
-Michael Cole catches
up with Owen Hart who is leaving the arena.
Owen says “It’s over” and keeps walking.
I wish it had been.
-Ken Shamrock
beats Kane with a super powerslam off the top rope at 7:10:
Shamrock starts with some smart offense by targeting Kane’s
leg, but his hurricanrana is countered into a powerbomb and Kane slows this
down to a crawl. The Undertaker comes
out for no reason and his interference causes Kane to get crotched when trying
a flying clothesline and Shamrock scores the win. These two had very little chemistry. Rating: ½* (2 for 5)
-Val Venis and
Terri Runnels are shown having fun backstage.
-Val Venis
(w/Terri Runnels) defeats Gangrel (w/Christian) by count out at 2:38:
Ross is all over the place calling this match, confusing
Gangrel and Edge and calling Christian “Christopher.” Two minutes in, Edge confronts Christian at
ringside, but Gangrel attacks him from behind and gives him a DDT. Gangrel and Christian do a beatdown, but that
causes Gangrel to get counted out.
-Venis and Terri
celebrate in the ring when Goldust’s old usher from 1995 shows up and gives
Venis a gold envelope. Venis is shocked
at the contents and Goldust invites him to his premiere next week on RAW.
-Steve Austin
interrogating Shane McMahon on Heat and then having a staredown with the Rock
is shown.
-McMahon demands a
new nurse and a painkiller.
-Al Snow (w/Head)
beats “Double J” Jeff Jarrett by disqualification when Commissioner Slaughter
interferes at 4:15:
Jarrett appears to be the latest hired gun of
Commissioner Slaughter to go after Snow.
They put together a decent match, but Slaughter shakes the ropes when
Snow goes to the top rope and the referee calls for the bell. How can Slaughter not overrule that as
commissioner? Rating: *½ (2 for 6)
-The Road Dogg
(w/X-Pac) defeats Mark Henry (w/D-Lo Brown) after X-Pac gives Henry an X-Factor
at 3:36:
The Road Dogg takes a
swipe at Billy Gunn by bringing out a blow up doll dressed as him. Lawler reveals that Henry is suing Chyna for
sexual harassment, which is why she has been receiving legal summons. Chyna makes a predictable appearance late in
the match and that distraction allows X-Pac to get revenge for earlier in the
evening. Rating: * (2 for 7)
-We get yet another
recap of last week’s events.
-Steve Austin,
dressed as a nurse, attacks McMahon at the medical facility. He beats on his leg, hits him over the head
with a bedpan, shocks him with a defibrillator, and then shoves an enema up his
rectum as the camera fades to black.
McMahon’s screaming and facial expressions made this segment. 3 for
8
-The Undertaker
pins the Rock after a Tombstone on a chair at 13:10:
The Rock hopes that D-Lo Brown and Mark Henry can watch
his back for this match, but they are too intimidated by Kane, who walks out a
few minutes into the bout, and head to the locker room. The Rock probably gets head with Kevin Dunn
by not doing the People’s Elbow facing the hard camera and Earl Hebner gets
bumped in the corner moments later. Kane
blasts the Undertaker with a chair, but Hebner isn’t there to count the fall
and the Undertaker does the zombie situp and wins. This had some slow parts in the beginning,
but it got hot at the end. Rating:
**½ (4 for 9)
The Final Report Card: This was one of those RAW’s that felt like it
took four hours to sit through. The McMahon
hospital segments were the highlight of the show and the main event was one of
the better Rock-Undertaker matches on record.
Still, a thumbs down effort this week because it was such a chore to get
to the good stuff.
Monday Night War Rating: 4.55 (vs. 4.5 for Nitro)
Show Evaluation: Thumbs Down
"Check out Pacific Blue this week as Sable goes to a female prison facility!"
ReplyDeleteFuck, that show was terrible.
This show led to one of the funniest Vince quotes of all time..."You violated me Austin! You violated my rectal area!"
ReplyDelete"The Rock probably gets head with Kevin Dunn". Amazing how one typo can totally change a sentence. Good stuff as usual Logan, had to roll my eyes at Taker getting his win back though.
ReplyDeleteI think Vince felt violated in Liverpool today.
ReplyDeleteBike-riding cops!
ReplyDeleteI haven't been paying attention but is this the first time in a while that Raw won the ratings?
ReplyDeleteWhat happened there?
ReplyDeleteThe Raw two weeks earlier also won the ratings (4.0 to 3.9).
ReplyDelete*Facepalm*
ReplyDeleteLogan, I love these recaps but:
ReplyDelete"Steve Austin, dressed as a nurse, attacks McMahon at the medical facility. He beats on his leg, hits him over the head with a bedpan, shocks him with a defibrillator, and then shoves an enema up his rectum as the camera fades to black. McMahon’s screaming and facial expressions made this segment. 3 for 8"
Undersells the shit out of this segment.
True. It was sort of hard to put into words. However, the show was REALLY dragging up to that point, so I was probably getting bored.
ReplyDeleteIt really is one of the greatest segments in the history of the show.
ReplyDelete"Oh, I'll take it from here, nurse."
The bedpan shot is what makes the segment. I agree, you definitely undersold it.
ReplyDeleteThe EKG going wild when Austin did the attack on Vince was the true genius of the segment.
ReplyDeleteIt's bizarre because they're only BARELY beating Nitro with RAWs that are ultra-famous and feature classic segments. Goes to show you how hot WCW and the nWo were for a long time.
ReplyDeleteI thought that was CHiPS?
ReplyDeleteThat was a fun surprise. For some reason, I didn't think the Austin/McMahon hospital stuff was until November. What a classic!
ReplyDeleteTotally true, and it actually makes complete sense. Segments like the hospital stuff are what helped put Raw over the top in the ratings battle. It takes a while to get people out of established viewing habits, but Raw was well on its way to being must-see at this point.
ReplyDeleteThe best stuff isn't always what gets the ratings as it airs, but it does greatly influence future ratings.
Kane and Undertaker are against each other again? I must have missed a recap.
ReplyDeleteYeah, and it's funny how long that turnaround really takes. It's like months and months of people going "holy shit RAW is awesome now" and then FINALLY people start listening. But the idea that the prime of the Attitude Era, with Austin coming into his own as a huge star, is barely drawing even with Nitro, is odd.
ReplyDeleteBut that's because again, it's easy to forget how hot WCW was at the time. We can look back NOW and realize that shit didn't go anywhere, but at the time it could be pretty compelling. And the WWF was a ways away from getting Rock & Foley their mainstream credibility, which is when things REALLY took off on another level.
Those are motorcycles
ReplyDelete