Saturday, December 6, 2014

Bad Ring Gear

Hey Scott:

Just finished watching the latest episode of Lucha Underground, which continues to be entertaining (although the commentary could definitely use some work. Anyway, the main event between Big Ryck and Prince Puma was a fine wrestling match, which was marred for me by Ryck's awful middle aged dad gym shorts. He's worn them in two matches now, so apparently that is his look? It's neither threatening or cool looking. 

Anyway, thoughts on bad ring gear? Who had the worst? Any guilty pleasures? Am I the only one who gets annoyed by this when watching a match?

Probably not.  I remember that dude Sam Shaw in TNA wearing basically gym shorts and sneakers as his gear, which looked low rent even by TNA standards.  That was pretty bad.  I always hated IRS and his dress shirts, which immediately got drenched in sweat, not to mention that opponents should just choke him out with his tie.  That's probably the worst ever.  Big Bossman 2.0 and his riot gear seemed like it would be horribly uncomfortable to work in.  And of course we can't talk about bad gear without bringing up Naked Mideon.

As far as guilty pleasures, I always liked Shane and his custom made shirts, which gave the aura of a regular guy being a wrestler for fun.  


96 comments:

  1. Shane's baseball jerseys were awesome. Loved how they were personalized for each event.

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  2. Since you're a big fan of Owen, I'm suprised you omitted him from the list as his blue gear was awful. Thank God he changed it by 1994 because he was never getting over otherwise no matter how many ***** matches with Bret he had.

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  3. And I remember Foley talking about how a wrestler's name was important and how choosing a bad name could be a career killer for you and argued if Austin became Chilly McFreeze that he wouldn't have gotten over in the first place. And I think the same argument can be made for wrestler's tights and wearing something that looks hideous is a one way ticket to jobbersville no matter how talented you are.

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  4. It was (thankfully) one time only but Shawn's Survivor Series 2002 ensemble HAS to be mentioned. Wretched.

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  5. Has a wrester ever gotten over wearing brown?

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  6. I think he said the airline lost his luggage or something so he had to improvise.

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  7. It's not a recipe for success. The color brown is without a doubt the worst color for ring gear. Just wear black if you're gonna wear brown.

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  8. He should have improvised his ass out of the match instead of wearing that gear. If the choice is win a World Title wearing those shitstain tights or telling Vince to stick it because an airline lost my tights, I'd be sitting on my couch unemployed watching the show from home.

    Shawn loses points on the GOAT-a-meter for that.

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  9. "​As far as guilty pleasures, I always liked Shane and his custom made shirts, which gave the aura of a regular guy being a wrestler for fun."


    Funny, that's precisely why I generally hate Shane McMahon.​

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  11. The conversation below mentioned brown as a hard color to overcome. It made me think about a shoot I watched years ago, can't remember who, that said the old school belief was that if you get baby blue as your gear you're on your way out.

    And reading that paragraph back, it totally sounds like I'm making stuff up. Seriously guys! I read this one thing, this time, once!

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  12. Jake the Snake said that, didn't he?

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  13. Charlie Haas's post split tights that said HAAS on the back of them. It looked like he made them himself.

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  14. Tazz's orange garbage man outfit.

    Why did he go from the black singlet to that shite?

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  15. Hideo Itami's garb is really bothering me - they're boxer shorts.


    http://www.wwe.com/superstars/hideoitami

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  16. Yeah, never understood that. Button-down shirt tucked into track pants? WTF?

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  17. The New Foundation's were utterly ghastly, especially because the Hart Foundation's was the coolest.

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  18. Reigns's current gear is awful. Adding those coloured lines to the Shield gear looks so cheap.

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  19. MikeyMike, WitnessDecember 6, 2014 at 7:28 AM

    Fuck off

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  20. Dean Douglas with the Metal Gear Solid exclamation point on his back. Val Venis when he became Chief Morley and had underwear tights with CHIEF written on his ass. Meat with literal underwear tights. The usual rogues gallery of wrestlecrap...Max Moon, Shockmaster, Aldo Montoya, Farooq with that shitty fake Roman helmet....

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  21. I would imagine wearing jeans wouldn't be great to wrestle in, especially dean ambrose who is quite agile and peforms high flying moves

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  22. Bastian Booger. That is all.

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  23. Macho Man's cowboy era was tres disappointing compared to the sequined robes and three-star tights outfits.

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  24. Salvatore Bellomo. Those singlets were something else.

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  25. Maybe it's my OCD speaking but I absolutely could not stand Zack Ryder's long tights / short tights combo.

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  26. I HATE when guys wrestle in normal clothes as their gimmick.

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  27. Mabel's attire where he revealed his 6 boobies seemed like a sick joke on someone's part.

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  28. Kofi's switch to long tights is a perfect example. That stuff was awful.

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  29. I don't mind it on Ambrose since he's supposed to be out there but it sucked on British Bulldog, especially since everyone wanted the old British Bulldog back, but the Attitude Era sadly wasn't right for nostalgia.

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  30. I hate it on Cena too. It's just hard to take him seriously with Jean or khaki shorts.

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  31. There is nothing normal about how white Bray's pants are.

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  32. Goldust's original dick-nub unitard. As a viewer, that felt like sexual assault.

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  33. Foley has even turned this into a joke in his new stage act. Going from being a respected hardcore badass to a guy in a mask wearing brown did not exactly feel like a step up at the time.

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  34. What? Even redneck sociopaths use Tide.

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  35. Tide? Please. That's voodoo.

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  36. I hated it when Shawn switched attires to the baggier pants, but I'll give him a pass because of his knees and his earlier work and current ability giving him massive leeway. Mankind's first attire sucked too, I got into wrestling in 1998 when he was wearing the tie already. Undertaker's weird 1999 attire, I'm drawing blanks otherwise, atm.

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  37. I hate Jericho and Miz' current look. Neither one of them look right in tights. Why did Jericho switch to those at the age of 55 anyway?

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  38. It was that his seamstress didn't have his gear finished by time time of the event because he didn't know he would be in the match until a few weeks before. So she didn't have time to finish the outfits leg printing.

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  39. I really miss the outfits of flair and Ramon and savage where they would mix up the colors of their basic outfit. Punk also did this recently. I believe we have triple h to thank for this with his only main eventers wear black crap

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  40. Vince liked his legs.

    Fucking seriously.

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  41. I'd suspect he'll have a revised look when he returns.

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  42. Poor Koko B. Ware was stuck wearing those awful pants after Owen turned heel.

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  43. I'm gonna go with "Vince thought it would make him look taller."

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  44. In their defense, all his tattoos screamed "BADASS MOTHERFUCKER".


    Sure, the manboobs screamed "LARDASS MOTHERFUCKER", and they were clearly screaming louder, but still.

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  45. The best outfits are black trunks. HHH said so.

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  46. The Steiner Brothers had some awful singlets in the early 90s... but oddly, as an 8 year old, I still that they were cool as fuck. Looking back, they seem to fit the RVD type character much better.



    Men on a Mission's gear when they turned heal could have been more NWA and less Salt 'n Pepa.

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  47. You... you know it's just a bot, right?

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  48. Hurricane's baggy shorts look in 2010 looked bad.

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  49. I don't mind if they wear regular stuff like they did partly in ECW (Dreamer, Sandman, Raven...), but I hate it if they were special ring gear and THEN it looks like crap. For example Bastian Booger, New Foundation, Man on a Mission... or the Scott Hall gear in WCW. The Razor Ramon gear looked great in WWF but his nWo stuff looked just cheap.

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  50. I always wondered how Mysterio wrestled in the full body suits and mask without dying in the ring from heat stroke.

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  51. Has anyone mentioned Jeff Jarrett's NWA North American title-era outfit? Yikes.

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  52. Yeah I always wondered how those masked luchadores can do all their high flying stuff when the mask should hinder their peripheral vision.

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  53. Surely if it was voodoo they'd be covered in mysterious black gunk? ;)

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  54. I still think the Steiners singlets were cool.

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  55. Oh no, is this what inspired that guy on the Kayfabe Memories board, the one who believes that Lex Luger had better matches depending on what color tights he wore?

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  56. He was too busy blowing out his knee.

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  57. What about those pants Undertaker wore at Survivor Series 2000??????

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  58. I didn't like how a lot of the older guys didn't buy the newer-style tights that actually stayed up, sticking with the saggy 70s-80s tights. Looking at you, Ric Flair.


    I do miss the sateen windbreakers with the wrestler's name on the back in script. They look like those jackets middle-aged guys wear that have the name of their local bar on it.

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  59. This isn't just a wrestling thing, but Shawn Michaels always did it: why do some guys wear jeans and cowboy boots--only tuck the cuff in on one side of the boot? Either tuck them completely in, or pull them all the way down. I always think "shit-kicker" when I see that, and not in a flattering way.

    Reminds me of when people used to wear sweats or track pants with one cuff rolled up. I think that started with bicyclists--to avoid getting caught in the chain--but then it somehow became a fashion thing.

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  60. A WINNER IS YOU

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  61. Depends on who is doing the voodoo. Voodoo is cuckoo.

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  62. MVP. He looked like a Power Ranger.

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  63. Charismatic eNegro Jef VinsonDecember 6, 2014 at 10:26 AM

    His newer stuff was nice looking.

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  64. Charismatic eNegro Jef VinsonDecember 6, 2014 at 10:27 AM

    Owen Hart's "New Foundation/High" Energy Hammer pants look was terrible.

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  65. Those singlets were full of early 90's style.

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  66. I hate it on Ambrose, too. I honestly don't know if I'll be able to buy him as a main-eventer with that shitty gear.

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  67. Buddy Roberts was the original "horrible gear" guy. He had those trunks that seemed like they went from his knees to his neck. Then he finally got rid of them and went to those horrible spandex pants, which only accentuated his complete lack of muscle tone. He's one of the few guys I can think of that probably should've wrestled in jeans.

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  68. Guilty pleasure - early Beefcake, circa '85 or so. Especially the alternate black/yellow lightning trunks. Those struck 10-year old me as badass. I hated his face gear, with the holes filled with fishnet patches. They looked just...gay. (Obligatory "not that there's anything wrong with that.")

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  69. Phi Delta Slam had some pretty awful ring attire in TNA. Their look just screamed "we're a rinky dink tag team". And of course Women's Extreme Wrestling had a treasure chest of awful ring gear throughout their short history.

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  70. As bad those singlets were, his ECW caveman attire was even worse.

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  71. I thought Gain was the rednecks' choice of detergent.
    Wouldn't Tide be too pricey and too liberal for rednecks?

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  72. Harlan Leverage IIIDecember 6, 2014 at 11:31 AM

    Guilty pleasure: Lanny Poffo's suit of armor that he wore in the hardcore battle royal back in the day.

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  73. Guilty Pleasure: Max Moon ring gear, I really did think as a kid he was from 'outer space'.

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  74. That was the Honky Tonk Man/Raven Face Off Shoot, where Honky mentions Greg Valentine's face turn, which resulted him getting baby blue trunks.

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  75. I didn't mind the cowboy look... I started watching wrestling later, so I was already used to him pitching me Slim Jims dressed like that. And it was certainly better than whatever the Hell THIS is.

    http://images3.wikia.nocookie.net/__cb20090914184639/ewrestling/images/0/03/Randy_Savage_WCW.jpg

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  76. I've worn a variety of lucha masks in my time (after some getting ruined by nieces and nephews & giving some to friends or just plain losing them, I think I still have 4 or 5?) and they're not all as obstructive to vision as you would expect. Guys like Sin Cara, I have no idea how that works (not well it seems like).

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  77. He looked alright in them when he first switched, but every time he leaves and comes back his face looks a little more weathered & his pecs get a little bit further apart. Last time I caught a glimpse of Raw, I think I remember seeing an almost Kevin Smith-ian bald spot growing up there, too.

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  78. I don't like his current makeup design. Too much black, looks like he painted a shitty beard on himself while on LSD and went too far.

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  79. Jimmy Jacobs did that in early Ring of Honor, too, it's one of the stupidest looking things I've ever seen. And that's not even just in wrestling, it's stupid enough to be compared to other stupid things like birthday singers at restaurants or Spice World.

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  80. William Regal's singlets that look like a old timey woman's bathing suit.

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  81. Any 80s jobber that wore long pants where the underwear portion were a different color. Don't get any more jobberific than that

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  82. HAMMER PANTS W/SUSPENDERS ARE AMAZING SHUT YOUR MOUTH I'M WEARING MINE RIGHT NOW.

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  83. They should package a guy as a jobber with no music and he gets introduced next to the ref in the ring with a satin jacket. But then have him win matches. No clue if this would draw but I would think it's cool

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  84. Yeah, and way too close to blackface for my liking. Every time he's out there, I get bad flashbacks to Piper at Wrestlemania VI.

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  85. Scott Hall's nWo hollywood white blood ring gear.

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  86. Demolition's cheap bedazzled straps and trunks.

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  87. Big bubba's husky mens business wear.

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  88. I've been watching early 90s WCW and the Taylor Made Man outfit is one of the worst things I've ever seen. It looks like he bought a Ted DiBiase costume from the Dollar Store.

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  89. I think this might be it.

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  90. Does Ahmed Johnson's wedgie constitute bad ring gear? It always bothered me... and then he'd keep coming back more padded up than before.

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