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Matt's Recap: TLC (and Stairs and things) 2014

Here we are, at a Pay Per View that should be exciting...but has to be one of the most boring cards I've ever seen. It stinks of uninteresting feuds, both new and old with no real velocity or energy behind them.

Obviously, WWE can't wheel out Sting again and Brock Lesnar isn't gonna be around until the Royal Rumble next year...so what are we gonna see tonight that's of any interest?

Let's find out...

We begin with gritty footage of WWE superstars inter-cut with footage from a Demolition Derby.

We are LIVE(!!!) from Cleveland, Ohio!!!

JBL, Cole, and King are the guys at the desk. Marcelo Rodriguez and Carlos Cabrera are manning the Spanish Desk of Eventual Destruction.

MATCH #1: Dolph Ziggler (challenger) vs. Luke Harper (champion) in a Ladder Match for the WWE Intercontinental Championship
Dolph gets a NICE ovation from his hometown crowd. Dolph misses a couple of Superkicks to start, then both men bolt outside and put some ladders into the ring. Harper walks around the ring and just tosses Ziggler into one of the standing ladders outside, then into the Timekeeper's area. Harper sets up a tall ladder and begins to climb but Ziggler manages to run in and knock the ladder over. Harper lands on his feet and boots Ziggler's head off his shoulders. Ziggler rolls out and Harper follows him, attempting a powerbomb into a ladder outside. Ziggler evades this and rushes at Harper who just slams him into the cement. Harper rolls back into the ring and sets up another ladder but Ziggler pulls him off again. Harper just tosses him across the ring and drops a ladder on his face. He picks Ziggler up and puts him in the corner, then just slams him with a ladder. Ziggler manages to get up to the top turnbuckle with a ladder on a comeback but Harper just uses the ladder to knock him ouside. Then he press slams a ladder at Ziggler's face. Harper tries a Suicide Dive but collides with a ladder that Ziggler has set up. Ziggler rushes inside and sets up a tall ladder. He gets his hands on the belt but Harper grabs him, Ziggler kicks him away and NEARLY grabs the belt but Harper gets up and knocks the ladder over, sending Ziggler into the buckle.

Ziggler gets to his feet. Harper goes for a Powerbomb but Ziggler counters it, only to get Powerbombed into a ladder anyhow. Harper slingshots Ziggler into a rope, smashing his body against a ladder and the abuse continues. Ziggler is busted open as he rolls outside and doctors check on him. Inside the ring, Harper sets up another ladder and climbs. Ziggler suddenly gets up and rushes to Harper, managing to knock the ladder off. The two men fall but Ziggler gets the worst of it. Harper gets another ladder. Ziggler grabs it so Harper goes for a Powerbomb. Ziggler counters with a Facebuster and climbs. Harper pulls him off and Ziggler falls, hitting a DDT on the way down. Harper gets to his feet and grabs a ladder and clocks Ziggler in the face. He swings at Ziggler again but Dolph ducks and hits a Superkick, then knocks Harper off the mat to the outside area. Ziggler gets to his feet and climbs the ladder. Harper gets up and shoves the ladder. Ziggler takes a NASTY fall, landing on his shoulder. The fans chant "THIS IS AWESOME" as Harper sets up the ladder again. Ziggler gets to his feet and swings across the ring with a ladder, knocking Harper down and grabbing the ladder. He climbs...but Harper grabs him. He kicks Harper away. Harper sets up a ladder next to Ziggler -- but Ziggler Superkicks Harper off his ladder! He grabs the belt! Ziggler's the new champ!
WINNER AND NEW CHAMPION: Dolph Ziggler
RATING: ***1/4. This was pretty good stuff.

We get an ad for Florida Georgia Line at WWE Salute to the Troops, both of which we must all enjoy or the terrorists win.

MATCH #2: The Usos (Jimmy & Jey) (challengers) vs. The Miz & Damien Miz-dow (champions) for the WWE Tag Team Championship
Jey starts with Miz and there's about 72 counter spots until Jey hits an armdrag. Jimmy tags in but Miz escapes. After re-entering the ring, Jimmy is all over Miz, punching at him after a press and chopping at him. Tag to Jey. They hit a Double Suplex and Miz-dow imitates that. Then he imitates getting tosses from the ring like The Miz. Naomi watches from the back as the action goes back into the ring. Miz hits a DDT as the crowd chants for Miz-dow. Jey pulls Miz into a roll-up pin as Miz and Miz-dow argue about who should be in the ring. Two count. Miz puts Jey into a headlock but Jey escapes and hits an Enzuguri. Hot tag to Jimmy who clotheslines Miz, hits a kick and Samoan Drop. Miz-dow continues to imitate Miz. Jimmy hits a Rikishi on Miz and goes for one on Miz-dow who escapes. Miz comes out of the corner and boots Jimmy to the mat. Jimmy counters and nearly gets a pin but Miz-dow finally interferes. All hell breaks loose with Jimmy going for a Superfly Splash which doesn't happen because Miz escapes the ring, grabs his titles and starts to leave. Jimmy hits Uso Crazy on Miz-dow, but Miz clocks Jimmy after that. 
WINNERS: The Usos via DQ.
STILL CHAMPIONS: The Miz's
RATING: DUD. Shit from top to bottom. A played-out gimmick, sloppy wrestling, clunky coreography...this was bad. Miz-dow doesn't even wrestle anymore. This is really pathetic.

Byron has Rollins backstage with Joey Mercury and Jamie Noble. He says that the Authority isn't around because of "The Vigilante Known as Sting" which is his name now, I guess. He says that, tonight, he's gonna end all of Cena's dreams.

Cole gives us an "Anatomy of the Stairs" analysis which includes interesting facts like, "The steps are 275 pounds" and "they can withstand 2200 lbs of pressure" which totally matters in a match like this.

MATCH #3: Big Show vs. Erick Rowan in a Stairs Match
Rowan is all over Show, splashing him in the corner and hitting a nice high spinning kick. Show exits the ring. Rowan follows and gets kneed in the stomach and slammed. He whips Rowan in the stairs and, yay. Stairs. He rolls Rowan back into the ring, grabs some steel stairs and climbs to the mat. Rowan dropkicks the stairs into Show's face and clocks him after exiting the ring. Rowan starts throwing stairs everywhere and kicks Show in the ribs. He picks up some stairs and stacks them vertically, aligning them like a wall. Show grabs him and tosses him into the ringpost. He puts Rowan on the mat and slaps his chest, then tosses him into the timekeeper's pit. Show picks up some steel steps and tosses it on the announce desk much to Cole's surprise. Rowan gets up and starts slugging away but Show knocks him down and uses some stairs to nail him in the stomach. Show puts more stairs in the ring and then rolls Rowan in.

Once in the ring, Show just nails Rowan in the back with some steps and sets up the steps underneath the top buckle, throwing Rowan into them. He does it even harder the second time, then clotheslines Rowan for good measure. He goes for a Chokeslam but Rowan fights out. Rowan lifts Show up and slams him on the stairs. Rowan goes for the top portion of the stairs and goes to the second buckle and just misses Show. Rowan rolls out of the ring. Show follows and knocks him through the wall of stairs Rowan set up earlier. Back in the ring, Show lifts up some stairs but Rowan boots them into Show's face. Rowan rushes at Show who counters and Chokeslams him into the stairs, then hits the KO Punch and pins Rowan under the curve of the stairs.
WINNER: Big Show
RATING: **. Big and clunky with a pointless weapon. And why can't Big Show job to put the new guy over?

We get a commercial for the return of Total Divas.

We get the build-up for Cena/Rollins.

Paul Heyman comes down to the ring so you know this finish isn't gonna be clean.

MATCH #4: Seth Rollins (w/ Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury) vs. John Cena in a Tables Match (If John Cena loses, he is no longer the #1 Contender for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship)
Brawl to start, culminating in a bulldog by Cena. Security distracts Cena and Rollins takes over, stomping at Cena in the corner. Cena comes back with a clothesline. He goes under the mat for a table as Rollins' security force looks on. Mercury and Noble pull the table away from Cena once he gets back into the ring. Rollins beats up on Cena and goes for a table under the ring but Cena nails him. The table ends up in the ring. Security goes to get it but Cena pushes them into the crowd wall using the table. Rollins attacks Cena and sets the table on the top buckle. Noble and Mercury come in and pull the table off which makes no sense, but we move on. Rollins attacks Cena and hits a DDT. Rollins goes for a table under the ring and it doesn't get stolen, so I guess that's progress. Rollins stomps Cena in the corner. He sets the table up in the corner and tries to whip Cena into it. Cena baseball slides and hits Moves 1 through 4. He goes for the AA but Security comes in and it's a 3-on-1 mudhole stomp. Ref does nothing. They set Cena up for a Table Bomb but Cena kicks Rollins and fights off Security, then just beats the hell out of Noble. He grabs a crowd gate and knocks down all three men near the entrance ramp.

Cena suplexes Noble on the crowd gate and Rollins immediately attacks. Mercury takes over, punching at Cena, tossing his head into some chairs, then tossing him into the ringpost. They go to smash Cena with a table but Cena moves. Cena grabs Mercury and tosses him into the Timekeeper's Pit with an AA. Rollins goes after Cena and whips him into the crowd barrier. He puts a table up outside and then grabs another table, propping it next to the one he just set up. Cena is inside the ring. Rollins goes for a Suplex to the outside but Cena reverses it. The two exchange shots and both exchange counters until Rollins hits a Reverse Inverted Suplex. Rollins tries to toss Cena into the corner table but Cena whips Rollins up and over the top rope to the outside. He slides a table into the ring and goes after Rollins who clocks Cena with the briefcase. Cena rolls into the ring and Rollins just clocks him again and again.

Rollins raises the case in victory, then tosses it aside. Rollins sets up another table and he tells Cena "Your time is up, my time is now." Cena gets up and grabs him for an AA. Rollins blocks it and the ref takes a bump. Rollins ends up clocking Cena, who falls, face-first on the table. Rollins sets up for the Curb Stomp but Cena gets up and AA's Rollins through the table...but the ref is still out. Suddenly, Noble and Mercury miraculously wake up and the same time and run into the ring, attack Cena, get rid of the broken table for some reason, and then try to help Rollins win the match with another Table Bomb. Cena fights out, knocks Rollins out of the ring and AA's the Security through the table. Rollins comes in and attacks and both men end up going through the tables outside. The bell rings and two other refs who were absent during the first ref bump fly into the ring to confer. One of the refs calls Cena the winner while the other ref somehow calls Rollins the winner, which should make no sense to anybody, sober, crazy, drunk or high. Chiota restarts the match and Cena AA's Rollins into the Announce Table. It doesn't break. Cena gets into the ring and here comes Big Show who nails Cena and calls for a Chokeslam...but Roman Reigns' music hits and he comes out of the crowd, hits the Superman Punch on Show, Spears him through the table, Superman Punches Rollins and Cena finishes it by AA'ing Rollins through a table.
WINNER: John Cena
RATING: ***3/4. Overbooking killed a lot of it. Big Show really has nothing to do with any of this anymore and Reigns should have been the only one making an appearance.

We get an ad for the Royal Rumble on January 25th.

AT THE ROYAL RUMBLE: Cena faces Brock Lesnar for the WWE World Heavyweight Championship.

ON THE KICK-OFF SHOW: New Day beat The Dusts.

Renee and her lisp is back at the WWE News Desk.
Byron has the Bella Bewbz backstage. Nikki's sick of talking about AJ. Brie says that they've had their problems...but blood is thicker than water. Here comes the face turn...

MATCH #5: AJ Lee (challenger) vs. Nikki Bella (champion) (w/ Brie Bella) for the WWE Divas Championship
AJ hits a Hurricarana, whipping Nikki out of the ring. AJ attacks. Brie tries to help but AJ ducks and attacks Nikki, sending her into the ring. AJ corners Nikki who comes back, slamming AJ to the mat and hitting a backbreaker. Two count. Nikki hits a quick suplex and then chokes AJ against the ringpost. She puts a Surfboard on AJ, who fights out. Nikki just whips her to the mat. She locks AJ's chin but AJ gets to her feet again. Nikki tries a whip but AJ counters into an Octopus and attempts the Widow. Nikki rams her into the corner buckle to break it. Both Divas rush at one another and clothesline each other. AJ gets to her feet and splashes Nikki in the corner. She hits a Tornado DDT off the buckle as Brie yells "C'MON NIKKI" until she's blue in the face. Nikki hits a dropkick off the buckle and gets two. Nikki sets up for a falling facebreaker but AJ counters with a standing bulldog for two. AJ hits the Shining Wizard and gets two because Brie puts Nikki's foot on the rope. The ref ejects Brie from ringside. On the distraction, Nikki sprays something in AJ's eyes and hits the Rack Attack and we're done.
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: Nikki Bella via Rack Attack
RATING: **. What was the point of tossing Brie?

Todd Phillips has Roman Reigns backstage. He says he'd be back and he'd make an impact. He took out Big Show and punched Seth Rollins in the mouth. At the Royal Rumble: he'll do damage this year.

MATCH #6: Kane vs. Ryback in a Chairs Match
Kane and Ryback grab a chair each and smack them together. Both chairs fall and it's a quick brawl. Kane grabs a chair and whacks Ryback with it. He props a chair between the buckles but ends up taking the hit on a reversal on the whip. Ryback hits a forearm and press, then hits a Splash. He hits a Bulldog Powerslam and goes to the second buckle, hitting three consecutive body splashes. He grabs a chair and just destroys Kane with it. He puts a chair on top of Kane and goes for another splash but Kane lifts the chair up and Ryback hits that instead. Kane whacks Ryback with the chair and sets it on the top buckle, then nails him with Snake Eyes. Kane picks up another chair and just whacks Ryback with it again. Kane goes for a suplex. Ryback reverses but Kane blocks it. Kane hits a running DDT into the chair for two. Kane goes to nail Ryback with a chair but Ryback kicks the chair into Kane's face. He goes for an axehandle off the buckle but Kane uppercuts him. Two count. Kane sets up a chair but Ryback fights back. Kane uppercuts him and then boots Ryback into the chair, which falls over. Kane splashes Ryback in the corner, then tries again but Ryback hits a belly to belly. Ryback grabs a chair but Kane just kicks the chair into Ryback's face. He takes the chair and hits a half dozen chair shots, then goes outside and tosses six chairs into the ring. He sets the chairs up the way he wants and goes for a Chokeslam. Ryback counters and hits a Spinebuster into the chairs which just doesn't look as painful as it was intended because Ryback botched the landing. Ryback hits about 6 or 7 chair shots and goes for the Meat Hook Clothesline but Kane just throws a 97 MPH fastball of a chair into Ryback's face. He hits a Chokeslam from Hell and NEARLY gets a fall. He calls for a Tombstone but Ryback counters with a Meathook. He goes for Shellshock and hits it for the win.
WINNER: Ryback via Shellshock
RATING: **. Just by-the-numbers. The use of chairs and stairs is really superfluous.

WWE Week starts tomorrow on USA.

JBL's excited about WWE Week and says that Y2J will be the host of RAW tomorrow, calling him "Y2-Jizzle". (DANIELLE: "Oh...are you sure you wanna use that now or ever again?")

MATCH #7: Rusev (challenger) (w/ Lana) vs. Jack Swagger (champion) for the WWE United States Championship 
Quick brawl and Swagger barely slams Rusev. Rusev's ankle is bad and he won't let Swagger near it. Swagger chases him into the ring, splashes him, boots him, then celebrates. He goes for the Swagger Bomb but misses. Rusev goes for a Superkick but Swagger grabs it and hits the Patriot Lock. Rusev counters it and hits an Accolade. Swagger breaks it the first time but Rusev locks it again and we're do--...wait. Swagger gets to his knees and fights out of it. He gets to his feet, then counters into the Patriot Lock. Rusev screams, then kicks Swagger in the face. He rolls out of the ring, to the floor. Swagger chases and Rusev hits a Superkick. Rusev gets into the ring. Swagger beats the count at nine, then enters the ring and gets a Superkick and another Accolade. 
WINNER AND STILL CHAMPION: #RUSEVWINSLOL
RATING: DUD. Really? A month of build-up for a second Swagger run and another glorified squash is all we get? How many more matches is Rusev the Overrated gonna win?

We get the Rollins/Wyatt build-up...this match is going to be about 25 minutes if the 7:45 stop time holds.

MATCH #8: Dean Ambrose vs. Bray Wyatt in a Tables, Ladders, and Chairs Match
The lights come back on, Wyatt sets his lantern down -- and Ambrose just throws a ladder at him, knocking him down. It's a brawl to the entrance ramp. Ambrose throws his head into the table and then chases him to the announce table, hitting a Suicide Dive from the ring mat. Wyatt ends up in the time keeper's pit. Ambrose runs across the table and hits a forearm. They fight into the crowd all the way to Lisp Central where Alex Riley is sitting. They brawl to the ring again and Ambrose grabs a chair, whacking Wyatt in the back. He tosses more chairs into the ring and starts headbutting Wyatt. He sets up a table outside, then grabs some Kendo Sticks. Wyatt is on his hands and knees, staring at Ambrose. He tells Ambrose to hit him -- then goes for a chair but Ambrose just nails him in the head and back. He picks up a chair and hits a Flying Chair Splash on Wyatt. He sets up another chair, then grabs Wyatt, choking him with the Kendo Stick, then grinds it into his neck. Ambrose goes top rope but Wyatt gets up and knocks him off the top, into the table outside.

Wyatt tosses him into the ring and hits him with a Kendo Stick, then tosses him, face first, into another Kendo Stick. He beats on Ambrose some more, then goes outside and gets a ladder. He comes back into the ring, nails Ambrose with a chair, hits an uppercut and Ambrose lands on the ladder. Wyatt hits the Reverse Senton and starts trying to choke Ambrose with the Kendo again. Ambrose gets up so Wyatt clocks him and sends him flying into the ladder. He tells Ambrose that he asked for this. He tries another ladder splash but Ambrose moves out of the way. The two trade punches and Ambrose sends Wyatt into the ladder and splashes him, then hits a Bulldog. Ambrose props a ladder on the top rope and goes up top, nailing Wyatt from above and getting two.

Wyatt leaves the ring but Ambrose grabs a chair, hits him in the stomach and dropkicks him. Wyatt is left hanging on the second rope and hits a legdrop, putting Wyatt's head into the chair for two. Both men get to their feet. Wyatt tries Sister Abigail but Ambrose counters and runs into the ropes. Wyatt hits a HUGE clothesline and NEARLY gets a fall. Wyatt rolls out of the ring. Ambrose follows. Wyatt tosses Ambrose back in. Ambrose rolls right back out and hits the Comeback Clothesline. It's another brawl as Ambrose grabs a couple of chairs, tossing them to the floor. He sets up a table as the two men brawl. Ambrose places Wyatt on the table and climbs a ladder, dropping an elbow on Wyatt, breaking the table. The crowd nearest to them chants "HOLY SHIT". The rest of crowd is kinda apathetic. Ambrose grabs Bray again and grabs another table, setting it up and placing Bray on it. He climbs another ladder, hitting another elbow smash through the table.

The crowd chants, "ONE MORE TIME" as Ambrose gets to his feet. He lifts Bray up and drags him to the ring. Ambrose grabs a rib and goes into the ring...and runs right into a #SisterAbigailOutofNowhere. Bray nearly gets a fall. Bray does the Hanging Spider and goes for Sister Abigail which Ambrose counters with a roll-up. Bray kicks out and rushes Ambrose who side-steps, sending Bray, head-first, into a chair. Ambrose hits Dirty Deeds but Wyatt kicks out! Wyatt rolls outside and Ambrose follows, laughing crazily and grabbing more chairs. Then he pulls out an LED monitor that is fully functioning. Ambrose laughs his ass off and goes to the aisle to grab an extra tall ladder. Bray is still unconscious as Ambrose lugs the ladder and sets it up near the announce table. He tells Marcelo and Carlos to leave the table so they don't get heard and starts taking their table apart.

Ambrose goes for Bray who gets up and whacks Ambrose with a chair. He headbutts Ambrose and sets the chair up under his chin but Ambrose blocks and reverses and sends Wyatt into the chair with the stairs instead. He puts Wyatt on the table, climbs the tall ladder and hits a HUGE Flying Elbow into the announce table. Crowd chants "THIS IS AWESOME". He pushes Bray back into the ring after getting to his feet. He picks up the monitor but the TV won't reach across the ring due to the power cable being too short. He pulls on the TV even harder and it sparks and explodes in his face like a product from the ACME Company. Ambrose is blinded, can't see and walks right into Sister Abigail. Wyatt wins.
WINNER: Bray Wyatt via Sister Abigail
RATING: **1/2. Needlessly long and mostly dull, save for the big elbow shot near the end. The TV exploding was completely silly. I can't decide which one is worse: the exploding TV or the Wyatt Hologram.

Bray celebrates as we go off the air.

OVERALL: **. This was a mixture of pointless weapons matches. The only one that worked had the benefit of good storytelling and surprises.

Er, that's it.

--

Andy PG will rant on RAW tomorrow, I'm back Tuesday with Main Event, Bayless and Scott have the retro programming as well as NXT and Tommy Hall will bring you WCW Thunder and Smackdown on Friday.

We are at We Hate Your Gimmick (http://wehateyourgimmick.blogspot.com) so be sure to visit us!

Comments

  1. I think that's a tad low for Ambrose/Wyatt, but understandable because after two plus hours of weapon shots, it looses it's oomph. Cena/Rollins was a disaster worthy of a TNA "P"PV with needless interference from bell to bell, false finishes, a teased non-finish, and just dragging the shit out of a gimmick match that doesn't need 25-minutes devoted to it.

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  2. Think you went WAY too high on the stairs match.

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  3. Looks like I made the right decision in watching SNF instead of this silliness.

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  4. How I saw the show:


    Ziggler vs. Harper: ***1/2
    Usos vs. Miz & Mizdow:*1/2
    Rowan vs. Show: -*
    Cena vs. Rollins: ***1/4
    AJ vs. Nikki: 3/4*
    Kane vs. Ryback: *
    Rusev vs. Swagger: *1/2
    Ambrose vs. Wyatt: ***3/4

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  5. You're being too nice on the Kane/Ryback match.

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  6. All the young guys lost. It's like Vince & company watched Starrcade '98 for booking ideas.

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  7. Looks close to mine...
    Ziggler/HArper: ***1/2
    Tag TitleS: **1/2
    Stairs Match: DUD
    Tables MAtch: **
    Diva's: *1/4
    Chairs Match: *
    Rusev/Swagger: **
    TLC: ***1/2

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  8. It's my big heart and the fact my feed froze about 30 times throughout the show.

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  9. Sting is younger than Hulk, technically. :P

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  10. Hogan did pin Sting cleanly

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  11. Its time for the Hell in a Cell and TLC matches to go away for a long time.

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  12. Ryback, Reigns and Cena as the top faces is brutal.

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  13. HAHAHAHAHAHA, so Ambrose jobbed to an exploding TV tonight? Oh my God, fuck that's amazing. This guy would be lucky to end up in the Mania battle royal at this point.


    And Rollins went through multiple tables and still lost? Amazing this fucking company.


    Well, I'm sure another Cena/Lesnar match is exactly what will get the fan base buzzing again!

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  14. I think the problem tonight was too many matches with gimmicks and legal weapons. Cena/Rollins should've gone last, as it featured minimal weapon spots. KAne/Ryback wasn't good, but the chair shots were still getting slight pops. By the Main, the crowd was done.

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  15. Don't worry bud, Randy Orton will be back soon enough to be one of the top faces too.


    So at this point is Dean Ambrose basically right behind Santino on the depth chart?

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  16. I'll go:
    IC: *** 1/2
    Tag: *
    Stairs: DUD
    Tables: ***
    Divas: *
    Chairs: DUD
    US: * 1/4
    TLC: *** 1/4

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  17. That's depressing that arguably the most over face is probably #5 on WWE's babyface format sheet.

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  18. Isn't Orton returning to feud with Kane?

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  19. This time, it's the final battle!!!

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  20. That Ambrose/Wyatt match sounds like absolute trash. I'll track it down and watch to make sure, but holy shit how bad was that ending?

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  21. It was stupid. Not as stupid as the hologram in a cell, but stupid.

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  22. The ending was embarrassing. But the work before that was really damn good. The finished ruined what could have been a great match to put over two guys.

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  23. I've stayed out of the Ambrose arguments for a while. I thought people writing him off were premature or overreacting. I now think I'm wrong on this one.

    The lesson learned from this feud and "story" they were telling is that Ambrose is an idiot. I feel like it's something Hacksaw Jim Duggan would have done. First, the g-, g-, g-g-g-ghost, and now jobbing to Sam Sung.

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  24. After this booking I'd argue how over Dean Ambrose even is anymore. Dude comes off like a total goof.

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  25. Vince listens to the people, he told us so.

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  26. Tonight's crowd is an unfair scale (it's the only WWE program I've watched since Series, where he was still hot), as they were done popping for plunder by the time the Main event started. We'll see how things are moving forward.

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  27. The storytelling in this company is putrid. I dont get how people are defending it as good.

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  28. MikeyMike, JuggernautDecember 14, 2014 at 9:55 PM

    The wrestlers are good but the lack of creativity really hurts them. I liked Roman retuning but it became too messy. And then they had him cut another Jeff Farmer promo.

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  29. Absolutely there's too many gimmick matches on the card

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  30. Exactly. I know it's hard to accept, but Dean Ambrose is completely a comedy goofball character. He does crazy wacka-wacka-wacka facial expressions, does goofy pranks, and then loses every single match he's in. (Except for the Cesaro match, has he won a singles TV match since the Shield split?)


    He's Santino, nothing more.

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  31. Come on, it's completely acceptable!

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  32. I'm still baffled by having A STAIRS Match. It's like Someone booked tonight's PPV based on all the random gimmick matches from an old WWF Smackdown game on PlayStation.

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  33. The verbiage was terrible, especially the eclair line. And the weird facials he made when the camera zoomed in was obviously something they told him to do because it was not natural at all and it looked weird.

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  34. How can u rate Cena Rollins higher than Ziggler Harper? Ziggler was match of the night by far,

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  35. Oh man. You've no idea.

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  36. Everything is filler!

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  37. Okay, fine, I'll throw this out there: Rollins/Cena is potentially the single worst-booked match I've seen all year. I cannot understand how anyone can rate it above * at best. Let's take a gander at how badly Seth Rollins' knees were cut off tonight:


    --He can't win 3v1 for the entire match
    --He takes a visual loss after a ref bump
    --He takes another loss ostensibly going through the table at the same time as Cena
    --He takes ANOTHER potential loss when he gets AA'd on the announce table, but it doesn't break
    --He can't win after yet MORE interference from the Big Show
    --He finally loses clean after said interference is stopped


    Look, I have no problem with Seth being a chickenshit heel, but COME ON.

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  38. WWE logic is that he has the briefcase so it doesnt matter how he loses.

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  39. Agreed 100%. Makes TNA booking styles look good.

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  40. I am calm though.

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  41. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 14, 2014 at 9:58 PM

    Should have just renamed the show
    Tables, Ladders, Chairs, and Who Cares.

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  42. The announcing usually sucks, but it was annoyingly sucky tonight. Michael Cole laughing showed what a joke this company has become.

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  43. I don't even get what the point of doing that ending is. Both guys come out of it looking terrible. Dean's an absolute goof loser, and Bray is a guy who was just there. He didn't even cheat! He just fell on top of a dummy, basically.


    I said this before, but if this was gonna be the booking then they should have just had Bray absolutely dominate Ambrose and win like a fucking monster. At least SOMEBODY would get over, and it's not like doing it this way protected Ambrose at all.

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  44. He is behind an iPad I think

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  45. We got off to a good start when the kickoff match played background to arguing who the Great Gazoo was.

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  46. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 14, 2014 at 9:58 PM

    As I've said, they are like people who hate wrestling who watch it with you.

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  47. Way to grab that brass ring, Vince!

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  48. CruelConnectionNumber2December 14, 2014 at 9:59 PM

    Chioda not Kiota

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  49. Oh... uh... was it over when the Germans bombed Pearl harbor?

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  50. Harvey Korman, that's who.

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  51. Jihad on Paul Wight. Who's with me?

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  52. Even an ending when they cant get up after a 10 count following a crazy spot would have been fine. The exploding monitor was so, so bad.

    ReplyDelete
  53. TV is supposed to not be good, duh!
    And also certain PPVs are supposed to be filler too!

    ReplyDelete
  54. It still shocks me whenever you say something bad about ANYTHING.

    ReplyDelete
  55. CruelConnectionNumber2December 14, 2014 at 9:59 PM

    Ziggler/Harper was **** 1/4. Brutal and intense.

    ReplyDelete
  56. Neidermeyer.....................DEAD

    ReplyDelete
  57. You wouldn't even use that many gimmick matches on EWR!

    ReplyDelete
  58. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 14, 2014 at 10:00 PM

    I try to find the good in things, but this company....

    ReplyDelete
  59. Yeh I'll download the Ambrose match so I'll have a good laugh before work in the morning.

    ReplyDelete
  60. It all reeks of someone (coughDunncough) wanting to cut the NXT alumni off at the knees. Ambrose is insanely over in spite of his troubles and has been handed the main event two of the past three months, only to look like an idiot both times.

    ReplyDelete
  61. MikeyMike, JuggernautDecember 14, 2014 at 10:01 PM

    I have a bad feeling that the Philly fans are going to shit on him. It could have been avoided if the WWE had people that knew how to make him a megastar.

    ReplyDelete
  62. I wish Big Slow would have turned on Rollins just because

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  63. Let's face it though, if your buddy was moving apartments and he pulled the TV off the wall and it exploded and caused extended blindness, you'd totally laugh and fall on the floor and stuff.

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  64. Why would it be better moving forward? He's been presented as a complete goof. If he's not popping the crowds before tonight's loss, I doubt tonight is gonna help get him more over.

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  65. I completely agree with this review. A little higher than I would have rated things, but pretty much dead on.

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  66. I get the feeling Philadelphia's going to see Reigns and Big Show as the last two in the Rumble... and a huge Dean Ambrose chant will ring out.

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  67. Well obviously the TV monitor is getting a bigger push than Dino.

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  68. It's legit Shockmaster levels, and I usually remain positive but it was baaaaaad

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  69. He's already filled his quota for turns in a given year. Not until Elimination Chamber.

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  70. EXACTLY. Ambrose is being presented like a fucking Kramer knockoff.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Hijacking the Rumble Match: A new smark tradition. Hope Rey isn't #30 again. Poor guy.

    ReplyDelete
  72. He's turning at the Runble.

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  73. Wow, now that I think of it, this was a little bit like Fully Loaded 2000 minus the good matches. All we were missing was a Kane victory to re-establish all of the old guard.

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  74. All they had to do was make him look intense and cut very, very brief promos while looking like a killer. You know, how he did in the Shield.




    They now want him to cut long promos like everyone else when that is not his strength.


    They have a talented roster and deliver good matches but the direction of the product is heading down the shitter, due to awful creative decisions.

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  75. I'm holding out hope because I'm an Ambrose fan-boy, but my hope almost gone.

    ReplyDelete
  76. Your buddy's all stumbling around, kicking his shin on his own coffee table and dropping his own tv while you cry laughing in the corner. I can see it all. These writers are great for sit-com's.

    ReplyDelete
  77. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 14, 2014 at 10:04 PM

    Right now, Kane is like 0-3 at this PPV.

    ReplyDelete
  78. I dont think that will happen. There is no one hot enough for the crowd to get behind that warrants a hijacking.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Nice to see the Crusher, Bruiser, Jerry Blackwell and the Baron all win tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  80. Ambrose must lose his next match by tripping over an ottoman.

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  81. Sorry, by the way. I know you paid to see this show live and had reason to be cautiously optimistic. You had a good Ziggler match but that was about it.

    ReplyDelete
  82. THE LUNATIC FRINGE!

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  83. Getting blinded by a laser pointer

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  84. That'd be a good bit actually. And then like Austin escaping the Dream rollover, FINALLY someday Ambrose would dodge it.

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  85. MAybe he'll find the Piper's Pit set in a dumpster and make his own talk show.

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  86. I think that's pretty fair. The only match I really disagree with you on is Ambrose/Wyatt (which I gave ***). The fighting was fine, but not as inventive or hard-hitting as Ziggler/Harper from earlier. The crowd and the announcing are also hard to overlook, but the ending of the match really brings it down. More important to nail the finish than any other part of the match.

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  87. Ziggler winning is something that would be really cool to see live.

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  88. CM PUNK! CM PUNK! CM PUNK!

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  89. I really liked the main event but that finish is something I cannot defend. I thought both guys worked a fantastic match in front of a crowd that was dead. A livelier crowd could have really made it come across better.

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  90. Question for long-time fans: when was the last time you saw this much of a disparity between "wrestler talent" and "booking talent"? Does this require going back to WCW in 1998-99?

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  91. I don't know, but that is a very valid point behind that question.

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  92. I'd think that would be the time, yeah. The roster is much better than it seems, it's just everyone seems like a loser compared to a couple of guys at the top.

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  93. It was terrible.

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  94. They aren't going back to the Attitude Era!
    Not every show is going to be like WM 17!

    ReplyDelete
  95. From 1st to 5th because of a blue shell/red hell combo on the last lap. Fucking goddamn game.

    ReplyDelete
  96. He'll share a coconut water with Roman Reigns.

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  97. And hopefully grab that eclair

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  98. But enough about Dean Ambrose's Mario Kart experience.

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  99. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 14, 2014 at 10:10 PM

    We still have 6 weeks.

    ReplyDelete
  100. I'm just waiting for Ambrose to blast through a door and fall on his face

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  101. This roster is stacked as far as in-ring talent. Its sad creative is so fucking bad right now.

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  102. Ambrose then slipped on a banana peel and fell to 11th.

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  103. I really hope that Philly turns on Reigns. I think we'll have a better picture over the next few weeks. We've only gotten scattered boos and online hate for Reigns right now--we'll see if that turns into something more.

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  104. He needs to lose by a pie to the face.

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  105. Cena = Jerry
    Ambrose = Kramer
    Nikki = Elaine

    Who is George?

    ReplyDelete
  106. Big Show/Rowan was more like -** to me. God awful match and Rowan selling that top rope stairs spot had me howling.

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  107. You and I both know that's bullshit.

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  108. Do you think they know it was bad? Like....Ziggler and Luke are getting their ass kissed for stealing the show and everyone else must know this was bad right?

    Like someone said in the live thread, at least there was a good pop for Roman. That was promising.

    ReplyDelete
  109. There's something like 26 writers on salary right now, plus Vince, Hunter, Steph, Dunn, and the agents. Couldn't: a. one of them have a good idea. b. the others realize when a good idea came up?

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  110. Here's the question: if Philly DOES turn on Reigns, could that be a bad sign too? It's pretty clear there's a subsection of the fanbase that will not accept a WWE homegrown BECAUSE he's a WWE homegrown. At what point does the message mutate into "we won't rest until Ring of Honor is the #1 promotion"?

    ReplyDelete
  111. But Vince doesn't. Because Vince makes Al Davis look coherent, and Kevin Dunn is his #1 toady who wants to sabotage anyone with HHH's mark on him.

    ReplyDelete
  112. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 14, 2014 at 10:14 PM

    I'd probably watch a Seinfeld show like that for the unintentional comedy.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Austin said on his last podcast that he thought it was closer to 40.

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  114. They overwrite everything and the scripted dialogue is so bad. When the wrestlers speak you know they are just reading lines that do not sound like how they would actually speak.

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  115. Most likely this has happened several times. But Vince and Dunn love nothing more than to veto any idea that isn't theirs.

    ReplyDelete
  116. TLC was so mundane and counterproductive, Foley doesn't even have to kill a monitor in a fit of rage. Ambrose did it for him

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  117. Somehow, I bet a lot of the higher-ups are all congratulating each other on a great show tonight. They sure showed those NXT guys how it's done! If they realized things were bad, then surely they'd have done something about it by this point.

    ReplyDelete
  118. It is but that is how Vince and the WWE looks at it.

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  119. The really unfortunate thing is that the wrestlers are working their asses off - none of this is their fault. I think Vince was horribly off-base to blame the company's problems on the uninspired "millennials" who allegedly don't wanna work for it. I think, for the most part, these guys are very talented and hard-working. It's the writing and booking that's dragging everything down.

    ReplyDelete
  120. That's fucking insane, considering NXT has about three writers at most.

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  121. Vince and his butt buddy need to retire and hand over the reigns (no pun intended) to someone with a functioning brain.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Like the four steps up to my front door, I had no idea my bedroom TV was capable of randomly attacking me.

    ReplyDelete
  123. Well played, Justin.

    ReplyDelete
  124. On the plus side, only eight days until BoD RAW hits Minneapolis next Monday! Fire up the Cows records!

    ReplyDelete
  125. I feel bad for Reigns. The WWE has booked him like this since the Shield split and its so forced and phony that no one is really buying it all that much. It's not his fault.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Yeah, that's madness. Fucking Marvel used to have 108 titles and I bet they never had a full time crew of 40 writers.

    ReplyDelete
  127. I pointed out the Reigns pop (or at least, was one of those who did). That was the last time the crowd seemed to really cheer or express joy during the show.



    Still, I'm not sure if the eclair promo helped his cause in the long run.

    ReplyDelete
  128. The Midwest Mauler!

    ReplyDelete
  129. We're doing a massive reorganization of my job, and it's amazing what garbage management and processes do to work ethic.

    ReplyDelete
  130. That day had two HUGE slaps in the face. You focus on one, but the other was worse because it was on Raw: Paul Heyman saying (or being written to say) that Brock Lesnar doesn't do Mondays because he's too special for the ordinary show. What does that say about Vince's opinion of everyone who shows up and busts hump 7 days a week?

    ReplyDelete
  131. Assholes like us won't forget, I bet everyone else does

    ReplyDelete
  132. He can grow a spine and stand up and say this isn't who he is. Vince loves people that stand up to him, especially his chosen ones.

    ReplyDelete
  133. The eclair promo will be a longer running bit on this blog than anything Roman ever does for the rest of his career.

    ReplyDelete
  134. Ambrose reached for the brass ring and the bookers had it slip through his hands and he landed face first on the ground attempting to retrieve it.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Rey should ALWAYS be 30. It's a WWE tradition.

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  136. I work for the feds...I see it every day.

    ReplyDelete
  137. Vince openly pining for constant fights with violent, semiliterate drug addicts over quiet, hard-working athletes is just special.

    ReplyDelete
  138. He does not have enough clout to do that.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Who would you send a fruit basket to?

    ReplyDelete
  140. Same here. VA. You want to talk crazy...

    ReplyDelete
  141. I missed this story. What do you mean "fruit basket"?

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  142. I agree that it is the booking. Reigns would be fine if he weren't getting this really forced push. But here he is getting the push and it's not like he's helping his case any with his awkward promo delivery. Yeah, we can blame the writers--but part of it is on Reigns too.

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  143. You work for the VA? I work for OPM.

    ReplyDelete
  144. It's a cream pie!

    ReplyDelete
  145. Ah, the agency the rest of us have to fight over new PDs!

    ReplyDelete
  146. If the PPV went dark when Ambrose pulled the TV off the cord would that have made it a better finish or the best finish?

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  147. Screw that. It only requires going back to TNA in 2007. Given the in-ring talent they had at that time, they should have been taking over the world. Instead, stupid angle after stupid angle destroyed any hope. (Of course, at least TNA was allowing their wrestlers to WRESTLE -- the booking just made no damn sense).

    ReplyDelete
  148. It should be noted that Ambrose hasn't won at a PPV since Payback on June 1. Meanwhile, WWE's struggling to figure out why the new generation of fans aren't rushing to sign up for the Network with $10 PPVs.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Wishful thinking. Everyone is so complacent with things nobody is willing to take a stand, so we get the same boring crap churned out every week.

    ReplyDelete
  150. R/SquaredCircke sent a fruit basket to WWE headquarters to HHH for the great NXT show. Then they sent a fruit basket to someone else. The WWE social media army is awful over there.

    ReplyDelete
  151. Here's the part I really hate looking back: the false start. I don't know if that was intentional or not, but if it was, it makes Ambrose look REALLY dumb. He knew the cords were still in the TV, and yet he kept charging forward anyway.

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  152. This really grates my fucking cheese. It's been what, 10 months, and they still can't live stream properly without the feed freezing 800 times in 3 hours? I signed up for the Network in February like a good little sycophant, and have been a dumbass subscriber ever since. Gave them a pass for WM because it was the first Network PPV (sorry, SPECIAL), but it kept getting progressively worse every month even though practically nobody watches these shitty B shows live. I haven't even bothered watching a PPSpecial at all since SummerFest, even the damn replay, because the freezing issue makes me so angry. The lesson: I'm an idiot who likes giving away $9.99 monthly.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Homey got beat up by a Samsung. For shame.

    ReplyDelete
  154. You went full Reddit, Danimal. NEVER GO FULL REDDIT.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Stranger in the AlpsDecember 14, 2014 at 10:22 PM

    Soooo many jokes about the Dean Ambrose vs. Technology feud.


    He's like Brendan Fraser in Encino Man. He is the Gazunga Master.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Don't feel bad, they made Rollins look like a loser and a total pussy.

    ReplyDelete
  157. He is weezing the juice

    ReplyDelete
  158. Being a pussy is his gimmick, right?

    ReplyDelete
  159. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 14, 2014 at 10:23 PM

    I could see some redeeming qualities in a finish like that. Yes it would have been stupid, but it's a much better idea than electrocution.

    ReplyDelete
  160. I think there's a small segment of fans that will turn on whoever the company is pushing (we even saw it start to happen a little with Bryan and Ambrose this year). But most of the folks who would boo Reigns probably don't have that mindset.

    ReplyDelete
  161. He actually only hit his MINIMUM quota for the year. Show doesn't have a maximum.

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  162. I mean there's chickenshit heel which I'm fine with, but this was above and beyond chickenshit heel

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  163. I don't know about that but I will say I feel Roman Reigns has charisma, a special quality that inspires leadership and devotion.

    ReplyDelete
  164. Position Descriptions. I'm sure your agency calls them something else. VA is so terrible at writing up jobs. I'd like to leave the Agency but with overtime I'm making too much money to go.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Has he won a solo PPV match since beating Kofi for the US Title?

    ReplyDelete
  166. Ambrose's next feud should be him trying to program his DVR

    ReplyDelete
  167. Samsungs are at least respectable.

    That was probably a Westinghouse.

    ReplyDelete
  168. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 14, 2014 at 10:24 PM

    Against Ziggler at NOC 13?

    ReplyDelete
  169. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 14, 2014 at 10:25 PM

    I don't even remember what the promo was or when it happened.

    ReplyDelete
  170. I'd like to get out too, but the pay vs. the cost of living for the area is too good. It's so far backed up there it's not even funny either.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Last year was unique because everyone genuinely felt like Daniel Bryan was being screwed over and that Batista was coming in and taking a spot that others had earned. I think there will be some boos for Reigns, but yeah--I don't think it will be like last year at all.

    ReplyDelete
  172. That's TNA's brand of choice... Big Lots stock.

    ReplyDelete
  173. Inferno Match: Dean begins pulling full tanks of propane out from under the ring, goes to hit Kane with one, get's booted to the face, falls on back, tank explodes and blows Dean Ambrose into LEO. Fade to black.

    ReplyDelete
  174. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 14, 2014 at 10:27 PM

    That, that would actually look kind of cool.

    ReplyDelete
  175. JBL: "He's set himself on fire! What a loon!"
    Cole: "What will the lunatic fringe think of next?"
    And awkward laughter.

    ReplyDelete
  176. Well, with the budget cuts, maybe they could only afford shoddy TV's that blow up at random.

    ReplyDelete
  177. The reason I have the Network is their archive. After tonight, I need a palette-cleanser. Which way to 1990 WWF?

    ReplyDelete
  178. Followed IMMEDIATELY by a promo advertising a Bray/Kane anti-gravity match at the next filler.

    ReplyDelete
  179. Dean Ambrose should become the new Wile E. Coyote going by the ideas presented for match finishes in this thread.

    ReplyDelete
  180. Dean steps on a rake in next month's Landscaper's match then falls backwards into a woodchipper. Bray thinks he won but turned out that was just a hologram Dean then the real dean runs out but Bray started the lawnmower and hit a rock that shot up and knocked Dean out cold then Bray hits the Sister Abigail for the win.


    HIRE ME VINCE!

    ReplyDelete
  181. This is what happens when Vince only gets Taiwanese products. You need to go Made in America.

    ReplyDelete

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