Skip to main content

The PG Era Rant: Raw, 12.15.14

The PG Era Rant for Raw, December 15, 2014: or, my eternal quest to enjoy wrestling when booking gets in the way.

Live from Detroit Rock City.

Your hosts are the usual suspects.

Pre-Show News:

  • Chris Jericho is in charge tonight.
  • And as such, he will have a Highlight Reel with Rusev.
  • Dolph Ziggler and Erick Rowan will face Luke Harper and Big Show.


And let's not waste any time; here comes Y2J himself! And his chyron makes a deal out of his Slammy win. There's a joke in here somewhere. Oh, and we show Fandango taking the trophy for him. After the usual glad-handling to start, he reminds us that he's in charge of the show, and he wants to make the show all about the Jerichoholics. He thanks us for awarding him a Slammy. He acknowledges Fandango accepting the award, but he hates that “some hurdy-gurdy horse's ass” has his award. So he's asking Fan-something to come out and hand it over. (Did he say Fandildo? Among other things. Either way, the A's definitely did not breathe.)

But ladies and gentlemen, this other man's name is Paul Heyman. And he's a Jerichoholic, too. He's used to being in power, but not tonight. But, wait, if you want a guest GM for Raw, why not get someone with a track record in charge – like Heyman? No offense, Chris. Sure, Chris accepted the offer and didn't make it, fine, but Heyman still has an issue. How could diving off a cage be the Extreme Moment of the Year? We all know that if it involves “extreme” (Crowd: ECW!), it has to involve the Godfather of Extreme himself. (Heyman imitating Jericho is kinda funny.)

Jericho cuts off Heyman's self promotion to call him a Walrus. Jericho says, yeah, Paul gave him a break in ECW, but he wouldn't pay up. Jericho wants his back pay. Heyman is nervous because he's not a fighter, and tonight he (for once) isn't out to talk about Brock Lesnar; he's out for himself – because he wants time to talk about Seth Rollins failing in his chance to eliminate John Cena from the title match. He wants to talk about Seth Rollins' failure...

...and why waste time? Here's Rollins himself. If Heyman can't wait to see Rollins, well, here he is. He gets in Heyman's face and asks what Heyman had to say. He gets all up in Heyman's personal space, but Heyman backs up to avoid a fight. (Crowd chants for Jamie Noble for some reason.) Rollins says Heyman saw the whole thing – Cena went through a table and Rollins's hand was raised, right? But that victory was taken from him, just like at Survivor Series (before Sting got involved). So that's two big shows in a row where Rollins had it until outside interference – this time, from Roman Reigns. Everyone knows Cena can't beat Rollins alone; he needed help because Rollins is just better. Rollins is sick of Cena talking about his own virtues; Cena's a coward! He knows he can't win without help, and if Cena's a real man, he'll accept this challenge: a rematch.

No, not tonight. He went through hell last night! He's not ready!

Well, it may not be his decision: here comes John Cena to crowd the ring. He goes straight for a mic and storms into the ring. “You shut your mouth, kid... the grown men are in the ring right now.” Cena makes it clear: just because you can talk doesn't mean you have balls. Last night, Cena won. Period. And yet here's Rollins making excuses, which means he's not a real man. A man doesn't whine, he simply keeps fighting. Even if he's in over his head (looking at Heyman). We know at the Rumble it's Cena/Lesnar one last time in a hell of a fight. But he's here for a fight tonight, too. And Seth says he wants a rematch... which is great, because so does Cena. But Seth's right about one thing: Cena needs help. He can't make the match without help. Someone with power has to do it. (Chris Jericho's facial expressions are epic.) Like, say, Chris Jericho? Hey, welcome back!

Jericho makes it clear he does have the power to make matches, and he makes that match. Yes, people are beat up and so on, but too bad. Oh, and it's a cage match. Cena walks off satisfied, but Rollins is furious and takes it out on Jericho, calling him the worst GM ever. Yes, worse than the Anonymous GM. But that's just because Jericho is jealous of Seth Rollins. “You are nothing compared to me.” Jericho's forgotten what it's like to go through hell with his rockstar lifestyle... Jericho is so out of shape he can't beat the janitor or popcorn salesman, or even Paul Heyman!

Jericho: “You're right; the popcorn guy's a ninja.” But Chris does get a terrible, awful idea: he COULD beat Paul Heyman. Rollins tries to reverse course, since Heyman's not a wrestler, but it's a little late for that; Jericho asks the fans for their opinion. Even Paul Heyman thinks Jericho can beat Paul Heyman. But too late: Jericho makes the match. And by the way, the Jericho/Heyman match is a WWE App Match.

That took 23 minutes to get to the point. For the record, 20 minute promos were the BAD part of the Attitude Era. And by the way: is Jericho ever getting his Slammy back? That said, BoD Raw needs to have a “ninja popcorn guy” gimmick.

So, the choices are: Extreme Rules; No Holds Barred; or Street Fight. Wait, those are CHOICES?

Luke Harper & Big Show v. Erick Rowan & Dolph Ziggler. Dolph and Show start. Dolph sticks and moves on Show, but gets caught and thrown into the corner. Blind charge eats boot, and Dolph comes back with a dropkick. Sky High DDT is caught into a flapjack. Show saunters to Dolph and looks at him, then picks him up and slaps him around on the chest. He then steps on Dolph. Crowd is FIERCELY behind Dolph, but a brief flurry is cut off by a tackle. On the outside, Dolph is sent into the barricade. They tease a countout, but Dolph's in at 9 as we go to break.

I mentioned this in the TLC post-game thread, but: I am officially demanding Paul Wight's retirement. He's just so much worse than the people he's up against – even Rowan – that it's jarring. And this match shows it too: Dolph's essentially wrestling himself, while Big Show hasn't moved at a speed faster than “mosey”.

Harper/Show v. Rowan/Dolph, continued. Harper has a chinlock on Dolph, who fights out only to get uppercutted for two. Show in, and the inverted DDT elbowdrop gets two. We get stills of Harper and Dolph from last night while Show toys with Dolph, getting the Colossal Clutch. He drops Dolph and tags Harper in, who gets a bottom-rope guillotine for two. Harper and Dolph get mis-communication, but recover in time for a Harper blind charge to eat post. Hot tag Rowan, who gets an avalanche on Harper and a full nelson slam. A shot for Big Show follows, but Harper with an uppercut and Show's in. Rowan catches him with a spinning leg lariat, but Harper gets a superkick. Dolph tosses Harper and follows into the announce area, leaving Show and Rowan. KO Punch, and BIGSHOWWINSLOL at 10:00. DEATH TO PAUL WIGHT! *1/4 Everyone's headsets were taken out by Harper and Dolph for a minute or two.

Meanwhile, Fandango and Rosa are being seductive backstage when Jericho shows up and asks for his Slammy. And he'll dance all over Fandango to get it.

Lost in all this is Erick Rowan, who is growing on me. I like the idea of a complex character, he's a decent big man, and by limiting his lines to one at a time, you add to his gimmick rather than detract from it. I hope he gets a chance as a solo star instead of being Show's jobber boy.

Fifteen million people have the WWE App! Be one of them!

We now look back at the Ambrose/Wyatt main event and proof that Ambrose should consider becoming Amish. Both men will be on SmackDown Live tomorrow night! (Hey, Tommy, I got this.)

Renee Young is with the New Day. Tonight, they rematch with the Dust Brothers, who seem to be about negativity. Xavier Woods says that negativity is gone and the darkness will be exposed to the light. Tonight, they'll mix it up and unleash the PhD. Kofi calms him down and says the does some slam poetry about how they aren't afraid of the dark. Big E can sense it and taste it, but SOON, they will feel it! Feel the power! Kofi asks Big E to towel off a bit – his sweat got on them.

Another rematch? Why, Vince? I hope the live SmackDown is better than this.

Total Divas ad makes me lose brain cells.

Brie & Nikki Bella v. Natalya & Alicia Fox. This is the Total Divas synergy portion of the show. Alicia and Nikki start, and Nikki with a spinebuster for two. Brie in, and it's a double back elbow for two. To the chinlock, and Nikki switches to a diving clothesline for two. More chinlockery. Fox with a split-legged jawbreaker to escape, hot tag Natalya. She snapmares Nikki and gets a dropkick, then throws the Bellas together. Brie slaps Natalya, but Natalya reverses to the Sharpshooter for the tapout at 2:10. Tyson is looking over at Nikki before jumping into the ring. This concludes the Total Divas synergy portion of the show. 1/4*

As long as this leads to Natalya being the next challenger, I'm fine. But 2 chinlocks in 90 seconds is inexcusable, and a 2-minute tag match is a joke.

Side note: I'm being told that more than a few people on the Internet believe the New Day not being the Nation of Domination is racist. There's also people who are calling the claimants of racism racist. My opinion: they are all being who they were to begin with, just with matching tights.

SmackDown Live will feature Roman Reigns' first match since his injury.

Highlight Reel time. Jericho brags about calling the Authority's loss, then mocks Lana's pantsuit. Here come Lana and Rusev as guests. (Jericho was right, though; Lana was wearing a red outfit.) Lana asks to speak first, bragging about Rusev remaining undefeated. So if Jericho has intelligent questions – which “you're probably not capable of” – they'll answer. Jericho riffs on Lana's outfit before asking: why so angry? Is it the hairstyle? Lana: “Shut up.” Jericho asks Rusev: why are YOU so angry? You need stress relief. Maybe show Lana your Sputnik. Jericho may have hit too close to home – he teases them for possibly being a couple with the sittin' in the tree song. Yep, this happened. He then directly asks: are you really a couple? Does Rusev have a crush on Lana? Several insults later, he encourages Rusev to let his freak flag fly – and he and Lana exchange SHU TUPs.

Rusev finally puts an end to the fun – and to be fair, the crowd was digging it – and says Jericho talks too much and needs a crushing. Jericho admits he gets on people's nerves and people always want to beat him up... but people want to beat Rusev up, too. In fact, someone wants to do that right now!

RYBACK.

Crowd is totally into the staredown with loud Feed Me More chants. The two talk trash, and Rusev even smiles as he slowly backs away. He taunts Ryback from the apron with the belt before walking away.

We review the clusterbombery that was Cena/Rollins, with cameos by Big Show and Roman Reigns. They're rematching tonight inside that steel cage hanging from the rafters!

You know, there's always a place for two bad-asses who are on a collision course ready to beat the heck out of each other. The match won't be aesthetically pleasing, but it sounds like it'll be hot. And really – we all want our guys up top, and we all want the fans' wishes to coinicide with ours, but hey, if the crowd loves an idea, run with it.

Ascension teaser. If it wasn't for that “we're open all night long” line, it would be just fine as a vignette.

New Day v. Brothers Dust. New Day's pyro fails to go off. Dean Ambrose curses that he can't have that luck. Goldust and Woods start as Kofi goes to commentary. Woods with a dropkick and leg sweep for one. Langston in, and the two double-team Goldust out of the ring. Goldust stalls on the outside. Kofi to JBL: “You live in Bermuda! Why are you negative?” Stardust in, and he slugs away with Langston. Crossbody attempt is caught, and Langston gets a double backbreaker and tandem kick with Woods for two. Kofi and JBL focus on Big E's oversweating as Woods gets a running kick for one. Crowd chants for the announcers as Langston gets a slam, and Woods gets a tandem wheelbarrow splash for two. Stardust fights out of the corner, but runs into a Woods hiptoss and right hand. Goldust charges and gets dumped, and the heels regroup as we go to break.

Way too much stalling in the opening half of that match. No need for that. It's why the crowd chanted for the announcers; the match was going nowhere.

New Day/Dusts, continued. Langston is pounding away on Stardust, getting a shoulder charge. Goldust tags himself in and drops Langston on the top rope, then chops the heck out of him. Goldust works the leg, then kicks Langston in the face. The Dusts do a wishbone, then Stardust gets a leaping stomp. Stardust with the Macho Man over-the-top hotshot, and Goldust in with a chinlock. Langston fights out, but Goldust sends him in the corner. Blind charge hits elbow, but Langston walks into a spinebuster for two. Goldust drops the fist, and Stardust kicks away. Stardust gets two as the crowd is so tired of this they chant for CM Punk. Stardust pounds on Langston's chest and stands over him before hooking the front chancery. Goldust drops a series of elbows as the crowd chants for NXT. Goldust with a kneelift, and Stardust kicks him and goes back to the front facelock. Langston shoves him off, but Stardust comes back with a sliding kick. Langston bowls Stardust over for a double KO. Hot tag Woods, and the crowd BOOS his house of fire segment. They do chant New Day with him for the Honor Roll, though. It gets two. Goldust with a powerslam for two. Woods with an enzuigiri to send Goldust out of the ring, and Stardust is low bridged out. Langston and Woods do an alley-oop senton over the ropes, and back in, Woods tags himself in for the Midnight Hour to end it (finally) at 13:32. DUD

What in heaven's name was wrong with Dustin and Cody tonight? I've seen a ton of their matches and I know they know how to be better than that! That was a hot mess, and they didn't even try to get the crowd involved – which is Dustin's strength! I hope they get chewed out for that match. Also, Big E Langston as the face in peril when Xavier Woods is RIGHT THERE is so backwards I can't comprehend. The crowd turning on the match was not too surprising.

Renee Young is with Miz and Sandow. Miz and Jimmy Uso have a match tonight, as Miz sets the scene: The Usos used to be tag champions until Jimmy felt inadequate and jealous. Now, Miz is the champ, and the only way Jimmy will be a Hollywood guy is if he accompanies Naomi – but Jimmy's getting in the way of that. Tonight, the credits roll on Jimmy Uso.

Meanwhile, Adam Rose promises a huge afterparty when his match is over. But Kane is there to break the party up (Exotic Express: sarcastic yay). Kane does not like Rose, but the Bunny tries to stop the trouble. Rose will face Kane in that match. “Party over.”

Of note from my friends: Jimmy Jacobs was spotted as a member of the Express.

Also of note: in two weeks, they're doing Raw in DC, my homeland. They're promising Edge and Christian in charge, and Randy Orton is advertised. Make of that what you will.

Adam Rose v. Kane. The Express is deathly afraid of Kane. Rose fires away to start, but a whip fails and Rose is disposed over the top. Rose runs away outside the ring, attacking Kane as the latter returns, but Kane shoves him off. Rose escapes a Tombstone and stops a blind charge, getting a running lariat... that Kane no-sells, leading to a big boot. Chokeslam try, but the Bunny hops in... and is caught. Double chokeslam ends it at 1:28. Crowd kind of likes that. Kane gives the Bunny a Tombstone for good measure, which gets a shockingly good pop. JBL is giddy.

Earlier Tonight of the opening segment.

Well, this Bunny thing was a severe backfire. Here's the thing: Adam Rose's ceiling and rightful spot was as an opening match crowd-lifter. He comes out, gets the crowd dancing, does a quick match, and leaves. There's nothing wrong with that. Teasing the heel turn and making THE BUNNY his foil ruined all that. They're trying to undo the damage, but it may be too late.

WWE's Main Event will start at 7 to compensate for the live SmackDown. Your Main Event main event is Kane v. Erick Rowan.

WWE App Match: Slammy Award Winner Chris Jericho v. Paul Heyman. Before the match, Heyman says he's out of tricks. He jokes about being “the Jew in Jewjitsu”, but to be honest, this isn't funny or entertaining. Heyman knows Jericho is a crowd-pleaser, and this segment won't be PG. Heyman doesn't want to think about how he gave Jericho his break and now Jericho is a podcast guy, a rock star, etc. He doesn't want a piece of it, but he's wondering why Jericho is still mad over a missed paycheck from 1995! Okay, it's the principle of the thing, fine. But Heyman has the money, and he's willing to give it if Jericho calls it off. Heyman goes to write a check (Cole: “Oh, you know that's just gonna bounce!”), but Jericho knocks the checkbook away and prefers the match...

Street Fight (43%). Heyman accepts his fate, but says he doesn't understand why this fight has to happen... WITH BROCK LESNAR!

Here Comes The Pain. Brock circles the ring with Jericho in it like a shark circling the prey. Crowd says the confrontation is Awesome. Jericho takes the fight to Brock, but Brock blocks the Codebreaker and delivers the F-5. Crowd wants Cena to come out, and Brock even looks to the entrance to see if it happens. It doesn't, so Heyman raises Brock's hand and the two leave. Needless to say, no match.

The announcers talk about Cena/Lesnar and discuss the “rest vs rust” factor that will be a part of the story, with Cole saying Lesnar has the advantage due to rest, but JBL saying Cena is battle-hardened.

Here's the thing: if they can do the main event this well, why can't they do the rest that well? The only midcard story since Daniel Bryan's exit that has had my interest is the Swagger/Rusev story, and I'm certain Dutch Mantell wrote that. Dean Ambrose seems to be getting over in spite of WWE's efforts.

Fandango and Rosa are out with the Slammy. Perfect timing. Fandango says Raw WAS Jericho...

...and this brings out Roman Reigns! He promptly uppercuts and spears Fandango to shut him up. He then takes the mic and milks a chant...

...but before HE can talk, Big Show is back. Roman tells him that if Show gets any closer he's getting hit in the mouth. Show says he'd like to see him try. Reigns made a mistake last night by attacking Big Show... and now Show will put Reigns back on the IR. He climbs onto the apron... and just as promised, Reigns Superpunches Show! Show throws stairs around in frustration. The kids in the crowd do a This Is Awesome chant as the two jaw at each other.

Now, that's how you do Roman Reigns right! One threat, two guys beaten up, and he stands tall. Now, let's hope he beats Show in five minutes to complete it, because right now, the crowd wants him to look strong.

Moments Ago.

The Miz v. Jimmy Uso. Miz immediately bails as the crowd wants Mizdow. He jumps in and races back out again. And again. This time, Jimmy gives chase and gets a slam as Naomi looks on backstage. Jimmy chops away on Miz, then slams him again (which Sandow mimics). Jimmy chops away on Miz in the corner (with Sandow mimicking), then punches him in the gut. Crowd declares Mizdow Awesome. Jimmy tackles Miz down and slugs away as Sandow mimics, but Miz gets to the apron and Hotshots Jimmy. To the top, but Jimmy uppercuts Miz. More chops from Jimmy, but Miz bails out, catching a sliding Jimmy and getting a big boot. Sandow overacts and Miz tells him to stop, then tosses Jimmy into the apron. Inside, it gets two, and we go to the front facelock into a Muta bridge. And yes, Sandow imitates that, too. Jimmy fights out, but Miz with the Million Dollar Combo, which Jimmy interrupts before getting hit with it on the second try for two. Miz with left hands to Jimmy, but Jimmy reverses a whip only to get kicked. Jimmy fires back into the comeback and sends Miz out over the top, then dives onto Miz. And needless to say, Sandow imitates getting hit by a flying Uso. Back in, flying crossbody gets two. Superkick is caught, and Miz tries the figure-four, but Jimmy reverses to a Samoan Drop. And Sandow now ENTERS THE RING to imitate it. Ref disposes of Sandow, Skull Crushing Finale is escaped, Jey jabs a Slammy into Miz's chest, and Jimmy goes up for the Superfly Splash to end it at 6:14. Reasonable match overshadowed by Sandow's antics, which is more a compliment to Sandow than an insult to the match. *1/2

So as it seems only the main event's left: this show is not what the WWE needed, and it appears the crowd's catching on to the problem. From the Jericho/Heyman match onward has been fine, though; so to mix it up, the second hour was a nightmare rather than the third. Still, as with all three-hour Raws, this would be a much better two-hour Raw. I blame USA Network – reports are even Vince doesn't like doing three hours live. But even so... dogging it is not going to help!

Backstage, Naomi is heading over to meet Jimmy, but Miz cuts her off. He claims Naomi was torn in that match, but hey – thing with Jimmy aside, Miz will keep his word. He's still champ, so he'll keep helping Naomi. Miz knows she'd rather be Divas' Champion, so tomorrow night on Main Event, Naomi will be on MizTV. It's a big opportunity for her – no one's ever done that for her, right? And he's doing it because he knows Naomi deserves a Divas' Title shot. And hey, it's MizTV – what would Jimmy object to? Oh, and one more thing: don't tell Jimmy. Just saying.

Fun bit as we cut to the announcers: Cole is talking to JBL about the situation, and Lawler does Sandow's “shadow mimicry” act of Cole.

As a reminder: both Dean Ambrose and Bray Wyatt will return for tomorrow's live SmackDown.

Renee Young interviews Seth Rollins... but Rollins won't let her talk, saying that things are out of hand. Just 24 hours after a tables match, he's supposed to be in a cage match? And with Cena, who keeps costing him big matches? This is because there's no Authority here and nobody is safe. Heck, not even those in power are safe – you saw what happened to Jericho (even though he had it coming)! This place needs someone in charge – it needs the Authority back. Seth Rollins should not be performing... he should be in a hospital bed! But Rollins will suck it up, finish what he started, and teach John Cena a lesson.

MAYDAY! MAYDAY! THE CAGE IS LOWERING!

Sorry this report is long even by my standards, but holy hell there was a lot of non-wrestling story stuff tossed out tonight. Way too much talking in my opinion.

It's Christmas Raw next week, starring Ho Ho Hogan. Don't look at me like that; they said it.

Main event, cage match: Seth Rollins v. John Cena. Pins, submissions, and escape all count. Rollins immediately goes over the top, but gets caught and brought back in for a beating. Rollins with a back kick and he sends Cena into the cage, but Cena blocks. Rollins with a kick to stop a backdrop as the crowd is loudly on Cena. Rollins throws Cena into the cage for two. He adjusts his back before punching Cena in the mouth. Cross-ring forearm knocks Cena down, and Rollins taunts Cena. Another try, but Cena catches Rollins and catapults him to the cage... and Rollins climbs! Cena stops him and pulls him to the top rope, where they fight until Cena gets a facejam off the top rope for two. Cena now climbs, but Joey Mercury climbs on the other end while Rollins crawls for the door. Cena sees this and dives to stop him, then tries to head out the door. Rollins stops him and tries to get out, getting so close as to be hanging over the floor, but Cena drags him back in and sends him across the ring. Charge hits elbow, and Rollins gets the Overcast for two. Rollins looks to climb, but Cena catches him. Rollins slides down Cena and gets the bucklebomb for two as we go to break.

All of the above took only four minutes. If they can keep up this pace, it'll be a great match. Not “save the show” great, but great.

Main event, continued. Both men are down when we return. Rollins is up first, arrogant, as the crowd is 100% behind Cena. He rallies, beginning the comeback sequence into the Five Knuckle Shuffle, but Rollins with a kick during the taunt. Cena with the Protobomb, and this time the Shuffle connects. He tosses Rollins into Mercury and delivers the AA. It's 10:53, so that gets two. Cena asks to exit through the door, but Noble holds it shut. Cena launches the door open and sends Noble flying, but that allows Rollins time to recover and catch Cena. It's a fight on the top rope, with Cena knocking Rollins off the top and following with the diving legdrop for two. Cena looks to climb over the top, but now Rollins catches him and yanks him down, climbing instead. Cena stops him and tries a second AA, but Rollins escapes to the cage and knocks Cena down, following into him with the flying knee smash for two. Rollins taunts Cena some more (“This is what you asked for! I told you to wait!”), then tosses Cena into the cage. He keeps monologuing like a typical villain before tossing Cena into the cage again. Crowd chants for both men, which Rollins uses to taunt Cena some more. (“Do you hear that? That's the sound of the future!”) A third cage visit, though, is reversed and Rollins goes into the steel for a double KO. Cena is first to move and asks for the door, but Mercury slams the door into his face. Rollins gets two off of it. Mercury is (somehow) busted open from it. Rollins is ready for the Curbstomp, but Cena intercepts him in mid-air into the STF. Rollins drags Cena to the door. Cena breaks, so Rollins tries to leave. Noble and Mercury look to help, and a tug-of-war breaks out, which Cena wins to bring Rollins in. Noble tosses in the briefcase, though, as Rollins gets an enzuigiri for two. Noble informs Rollins of the briefcase's presence, and Seth pounces on it. Greco-Roman briefcase shot misses, and Cena with a lariat that twists Rollins in mid-air. Slugfest breaks out, with the crowd still divided, and Cena tries another AA. Rollins lands on his feet, and a shot with the case gets two. Security says it was three. Cena's still out, and Rollins decides it's his chance to escape. He goes to the top, with Security cheering him on and looking to help, but Cena meets him at the top and tries to yank him back in. Rollins dangles inches away from victory, but Cena drags Rollins in... and it's an AA off the top rope! But Cena can't capitalize. (NOTE: we love to rag on commentary, but Cole is doing a GREAT job right now.) Door's open if anyone wants it.... AND HERE COMES THE PAIN! (Cole: “Oh, hell! Not now!!”) Brock Lesnar, title in hand, has both men down and out where he wants them. He enters the cage and German suplexes Cena three times (with Cena ragdolling it all the way). F-5 to Cena pretty much ends Cena's chances, and Lesnar looks at Rollins, who needs new pants. Heyman, though, calls off Lesnar and shakes hands with Rollins... Seth Rollins is a Paul Heyman Guy! Heyman and Lesnar leave, and Rollins just looks at a dead Cena from the middle rope. Curbstomp is academic, and Rollins wins by walking out the door, briefcase in hand, at 23:29 – milking it for about a minute. What an epic finish to the show. ****

STATS:

MATCH TIME: 56:53 over six matches
BEST MATCH: Cena/Rollins (by a mile)
WORST MATCH: New Day/Dust Brothers
NIGHT MVP: Brock Lesnar

MY RATING: Meh, 4/10. Most of the show was somewhere from forgettable to bad, but I can't give a thumbs down when I get a huge main event like THAT, can I?

Matt Perri has Main Event. I'll do the live SmackDown on Tommy's behalf. Scott Keith looks back at 1996 and answers emails. Tommy still has NXT to post, so it's not a lost week for him. And we'll see what other jokes we can make on the product.

Comments

  1. Bayless, I wanna suggest a match. I think it'll move the needle. A little Survivor Series re-run, but not entirely: HartKiller, BonsaiDBSM, and Matt Perri against myself, Kaptain Kiwi, and a mystery partner. Please approve of it.

    ReplyDelete
  2. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 15, 2014 at 9:22 PM

    Well finally Mr Satan and The Kid get an official feud.

    ReplyDelete
  3. Seems like they should have done that finish at the ppv.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Sure. It will kick off the BoD RAW Minneapolis Super Show

    ReplyDelete
  5. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 15, 2014 at 9:23 PM

    Yeah, I'm glad I missed the first 90 minutes of the show,

    ReplyDelete
  6. LIVE! from BoD headquarters, it's the BoD We Kinda-Sorta Care Holiday Function! Proceeds from this tax-deductible fun(draiser) go to the Human Fund! Biscuit! has graciously donated one of his ring-worn jackets bought at Bobby Eaton's yard sale.



    Biscuit: Seriously, my dad has an arrangement with the hospital, baby. My doctor will get you any Oxys you... oh, hello.



    It's important during this holiday season to give back. Next week I'm going to be giving once again to the great people of my native Minnesota with excellent professional wrestling. It's going to be a great night; I just ask that the Biscuitcases give back to their hometown hero by purchasing Biscuit memorabilia including bumper stickers, magnets and my all-new, vinyl-only release of my theme song.


    Fresh off my resounding victory at BoD Survivor Series, it's also only right that the sport give back to me with a well-deserved title shot at that punk DBSM. It's only fair. Real small-timers like Grant Hart of Husker Du are ready to party!

    ReplyDelete
  7. Agree. Instead we had some fucking idiot job when he forgot a TV was still plugged in as he tried to use it as a weapon.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Damn it.


    I was hoping we were going to see Zap Shocker, evil electrician.

    ReplyDelete
  9. Didn't hear this sentiment too much in the live blog thread, but that main event was (as your star rating indicates) quite a good match.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Biscuit! is getting a "Day in the Life of" right before his big hometown match!

    ReplyDelete
  11. Mr Satan and the Kid? That should have been on BoD Mania

    ReplyDelete
  12. Due to time constraints, he was cut

    ReplyDelete
  13. BoD Mania..........................................................................................................BOOK IT

    ReplyDelete
  14. I agree with the rating. Rollins was incredible

    ReplyDelete
  15. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 15, 2014 at 9:26 PM

    You know, if the Kid has his own feud, might be a good time to set up my title match.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I'm very happy that the great people of Minneapolis as well as the rest of the world will learn more about such a great man.

    ReplyDelete
  17. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 15, 2014 at 9:27 PM

    Yep, time for that title match.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Its a lights out gimmick too

    ReplyDelete
  19. You must have read my mind

    ReplyDelete
  20. The MVP OF THE NIGHT that I award is fully a kayfabe award, but when it comes to performance, Seth was first star tonight, with Cena second star. And Stardust is 453rd.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Joining such luminaries as Hardcore Holly and the 2010 version of Dolph Ziggler!

    ReplyDelete
  22. Yeah, that tag match was one big pile of shit.

    ReplyDelete
  23. I need to get booked soon.

    ReplyDelete
  24. He's unpredictable, though; a real livewire.

    ReplyDelete
  25. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 15, 2014 at 9:29 PM

    The token Royal Rumble show challenger.

    ReplyDelete
  26. Rollins was great and should have been rewarded with a win with only two other people's help

    ReplyDelete
  27. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 15, 2014 at 9:30 PM

    Could actually be a decent little feud as well.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Sneak preview:


    "getting up at 5am, he starts his 1987 Oldsmobile Cutlass Supreme to go train at the local gym. As a treat to himself last night, he turned the heat in his house all the way up to 57 degrees. After drinking a glass of whole milk and six eggs, he starts lifting and hitting the heavybag"

    ReplyDelete
  29. Let's be fair: I'll trade a clean win for the big story advancement. Now, Paul Heyman holds all the cards and has a reason to be at every Raw. I accept it.

    ReplyDelete
  30. Crikey Mate Down Under AussieDecember 15, 2014 at 9:32 PM

    MY RATING: Meh, 4/10. Most of the show was somewhere from forgettable to bad, but I can't give a thumbs down when I get a huge main event like THAT, can I?

    Is 4/10 not a thumbs down? If I got 40% on a test, a thumbs down would be the best response I could hope for from my teacher...

    ReplyDelete
  31. guesses for WM card? i'm thinking something like
    Brock VS Reigns(Rollins cashes in)
    HHH VS Sting
    Cena VS Rusev
    Rollins VS Ambrose
    Cody Rhodes VS Goldust
    Daniel Bryan VS Sheamus
    ATG Battle Royal
    multi tag match

    can't think of anything else right now. Orton VS ???

    ReplyDelete
  32. 4 is the mean score for this show, in honor of Bret Hart. Factoring in SmackDowns and PPVs, I'd say that's fair, right? I mean, getting a C would be an 8/10, but that's way too generous to an average show.

    ReplyDelete
  33. Clearly you havent been in a public school for a while.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Last year, we had Batista, Bryan, Punk, and Reigns with legit shots to win the Rumble.


    This year, we have Reigns with legit shots to win the Rumble.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Also, am I misremembering, or did Rollins kick out of two AAs?

    ReplyDelete
  36. Bryan will be #30

    ReplyDelete
  37. Multiple shots for one guy? He really is being pushed to the moon!

    ReplyDelete
  38. I think Rollins will cash in on raw the next night.


    Orton v Rollins


    Ambrose will win the battle royal

    ReplyDelete
  39. Didnt Brock run in after the Super AA

    ReplyDelete
  40. he will be like foley that one year

    ReplyDelete
  41. unless Reigns bombs, I don't think Bryan will win it.

    ReplyDelete
  42. (Bill Ray is sitting at the poker table, wearing a Santa hat, and holding the bottle of whiskey.)

    "Well, well, well. Hello, BoD. It's been a bit. Sorry I couldn't make it to Raw in my hometown, but Bayless insisted I work the charity poker game tonight, which went off without a hitch. Anyway, I just wanted to check in and-"

    (Bill is interrupted by three men in letter men's jackets.)

    Bill: "Oh boy. Well, as you are not the usual goon squad, I can only assume your boss told you what comes next, hmmm?"

    (The men surround him, as he stands up; he pauses to take a swig of whiskey, and then spits it in the first man's face, followed by a kick to the nuts. The second man charges and Bill sidesteps him, and then smashes the whiskey bottle on his head. The third man jumps on Bill's back with a sleeper hold; Bill escapes with a judo throw, and then superkicks him over the poker table.)

    Bill: "(singing) Silent night, holy night. All is calm, all is bright....." (Bill walks out of the shot holding the Santa hat, as the camera cuts out.)

    ReplyDelete
  43. It's like wrestlemania 13; show was shit except for one match

    ReplyDelete
  44. i agree there but i think him showing up makes it a little more unpredictable. more than last years anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  45. Crikey Mate Down Under AussieDecember 15, 2014 at 9:41 PM

    I am so totally lost by whatever you just tried to tell me xD

    ReplyDelete
  46. Just that because 4/10 became a Bret Hart meme, I use a 4 as shorthand or "average". Bear in mind, I've given scores below 0 and above 10 before. The rating's just my opinion; don't take it seriously.

    ReplyDelete
  47. You mean do the better finish on a show that people pay for? Obviously you're not a businessman!

    ReplyDelete
  48. Ryback wins the battle royal. Ziggler VS Miz VS Mizdown IC title?

    ReplyDelete
  49. Uh.....I usually do the live Smackdowns Andy.

    ReplyDelete
  50. Thank you, Tommy

    ReplyDelete
  51. You do? For some reason I thought you couldn't get them. Sorry about that. DIdn't mean to jump the gun.

    ReplyDelete
  52. I had better be booked on the Cheese documentary...

    ReplyDelete
  53. Where's Bayless to start an impromptu Writer's Division match?

    ReplyDelete
  54. / taunts Tommy with his e-check

    ReplyDelete
  55. "My opinion: they are all being who they were to begin with, just with matching tights."



    They will NEVER be F.I.S.T.!!!! (Friends in Similar Tights)

    ReplyDelete
  56. You vs. Andy PG in a Smackdown review write off. The loser leaves the blog.


    Either way, everyone else is a winner. Jay kay.

    ReplyDelete
  57. You're right. It was just the one AA kickout.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Only if the winner leaves the blog too...

    ReplyDelete
  59. Oh no you didn't!

    ReplyDelete
  60. No worries chum. I've left your Christmas card in the writers' lounge.

    ReplyDelete
  61. That Cena is grabbing the hell out of that brass ring!!! (Actually, sounds like a great match. Will likely catch it when it hits youtube and I hit home)

    My question -- how is this show (besides the main) people "trying to top NXT"? I swear, if McMahon gets wind of PWG or NJPW, the next episode of RAW will be him sitting in the middle of the ring, taking a dump in a bucket for 3 hours.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Somebody needs to be a locker room leader here at the BOD. I can't help but think someone is dogging their performance silenty because they aren't getting the push they want.

    ReplyDelete
  63. I basically just came here to say New Day is horrible and everyone who had any input should be slaughtered.

    ReplyDelete
  64. I think part of the problem is that the people on the main roster are handcuffed by bad booking. You could see it last night, too: Dolph and Harper did their part, but were forgotten by the end; Rusev and Swagger did their part, but only had five minutes; and Ambrose and Bray did their part, but had the weight of a shitty finish to overcome.

    ReplyDelete
  65. wouldn't scott be the locker room leader?

    ReplyDelete
  66. Scott's our Vince McMahon. He only shows up when shit goes down.

    ReplyDelete
  67. I know it isn't the performers' fault -- I've seen many of these guys in many matches, and know they can go when they aren't shackled. I meant the show as a whole


    It's like the performers said "let's amp this shit up!" And the writers said "we've got other plans!"

    ReplyDelete
  68. Yes, you are featured in hours 1, 2, 3, 5, 7, 8, 9, and 14

    ReplyDelete
  69. CruelConnectionNumber2December 15, 2014 at 9:54 PM

    ** 1/2 for the main event due to someone easily walking into a STEEL CAGE MATCH. **** match prior to the finish.

    ReplyDelete
  70. BTW, Tyson Kidd was a stand out for me tonight. Dude made me crack up at the end of Nattie's match. Dude is a total shit.

    ReplyDelete
  71. That said, I was encouraged by the positive reaction to a Rusev/Ryback showdown. I think that match could be a fun power match.

    ReplyDelete
  72. main event was just kickass.

    ReplyDelete
  73. CruelConnectionNumber2December 15, 2014 at 9:55 PM

    They're doing a Rocky Maivia "Rocky Sucks" gimmick so you're marking out for them, technically.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Hey that 6 man tag with the LOD was pretty fun.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Charismatic eNegro Jef VinsonDecember 15, 2014 at 9:56 PM

    *As Bayless makes his way back into his office he is met with a low blow which drops him to the floor. He gets dragged into the room and has one of his wrists handcuffed to the radiator.*


    Vinson: "Well, well, well, well, well, welly, welly, WELL."


    *Sits in your office chair and puts my feet up on your desk.*


    Bayless: "What the fu*BEEP* is this sh*BEEP*?!?!?!"


    Vinson: "You know what the fu*BEEP* this is about. Did you think this was a fu*BEEP* comic book? We ain't rebooting sh*BEEP* yet. There is a receipt due here, playboy."


    Bayless: " WAITAMINUTE!, We can work this out!"


    Vinson: "Nah, Nah.. I don't wanna hear that Keith Sweat begging bullsh*BEEP*. Besides, you have to make HER understand, and she doesn't speak English too well."


    *Bayless looks up and sees my valet approaching him with a bat.*


    Vinson: "My team won at Survivor Series, so you owe her five minutes with one of your hands handcuffed..."


    Bayless: "But we were supposed to WRESTLE. She can't hit me with a bat!!!"


    Vinson: "Oh, she wasn't gonna JUST hit you with it."


    *Bayless looks on in horror as she pulls out tub of Vaseline while I pull out egg timer and set it on the desk.*


    Vinson: "And your time starts...............NOW."


    *Valet closes door and locks it, Loud screams are heard soon after.*


    Vinson: "Be glad she lubed it first.*

    ReplyDelete
  76. Then wouldn't that make him your Brock Lesnar?

    ReplyDelete
  77. He's even funnier when you notice all the cats on his ring gear which shockingly has not been driven into the ground by the commentators.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Most underrated WM match ever.

    ReplyDelete
  79. So I'm to believe that on Total Divas, Tyson Kidd is basically "every rumor about Teddy Hart ever personified"?

    ReplyDelete
  80. Hey, now they're telling people to not even pay $9.99 for their PPVs. What could be wrong... with.... that...


    Ohhhhhhhh,

    ReplyDelete
  81. Two honest questions: has anyone ever read Andy PG's entire review (word for word) and how long did it take?

    ReplyDelete
  82. Pre-finish, yeah. But overall it's one of those matches we'll mostly forget by next week. We'll just remember Lesnar attacking Cena to kick off the build to their final match at the Rumble.

    ReplyDelete
  83. I do. It takes about 10 minutes.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Are you a super speed reader?

    ReplyDelete
  85. Holy shit! I never noticed the cats. This thing is layered.

    ReplyDelete
  86. I can get through it in three minutes on average.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Andy doesn't even read them when he writes them. He's prepping for a job in WWE creative.

    ReplyDelete
  88. I heard on a podcast that a few months ago the New Day was on either Superstars or Main Event and had a match with Slater Gator, where after beating the holy hell out of Titus, they refused to pin him and wanted to pin Slater instead.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Hopefully Seth Rollins as a Paul Heyman guy works a lot better than Cesaro as a Paul Heyman guy.

    ReplyDelete
  90. or ryback or curtis axel

    ReplyDelete
  91. What's the point of a 0-10 system if you go higher or lower than the range?

    "I give this show a 47!!!"

    ReplyDelete
  92. If I'm on the fence about something, I like to hear his take. He's nice enough to include the commentary in italics, though, so I mostly skip to those parts.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Of note: I've only done it once each way. The night after WM30 got an 11 because it was such a home run. The show where Daniel Bryan went Wyatt got a -3 because it was such a horrific idea.

    ReplyDelete
  94. If that TV is there for the Undertaker, per my understanding, how long as that fucking thing been plugged in unused? A year and a half? Two years?

    ReplyDelete
  95. Didn't see it, but the finish sounds like it was cool on paper.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Here's a question I had though: numerous times Rollins could have won by walking out, but he'd go for the pin instead. That's fine--he wanted to *beat* Cena, not just win the match. So why then did he just walk out after Lesnar killed Cena dead? He could have covered for an easy pin. Was he afraid the referee's hand slapping the mat would revive Cena? He stole the pin in the Cell match after Wyatt took out Ambrose. Why not this time? He chose the easier win, but the one that earned him less heat.

    I'm closer to ***1/2 myself. Maybe ***3/4. But really no matter how Rollins won it was all a backdrop to the Lesnar angle.

    ReplyDelete
  97. I really hope somebody passes Axel in the hall in a backstage vignette and says "You still work here?" A la Shelton in 2010.

    ReplyDelete
  98. The Lesnar part of the finish, or Seth walking out the cage? Cuz the Lesnar stuff was good.

    ReplyDelete
  99. I'll have to go watch cena vs Rollins asap.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Yeah the Lesnar stuff. And I'm fine with Rollins winning away, or at least don't care anymore I should say.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Why in THE FUCK did Brock have to come back to F5 Jericho? If he came back as a shock in the main event only, I would give that match a ****. Since he blew his load by beating up a 45 year old I'm only going to give it a ***

    ReplyDelete
  102. Because they had a cute idea with the Heyman bait-and-switch. I might have been mildly surprised if Meltzer hadn't been noting for weeks that Brock was going to be back tonight.

    ReplyDelete
  103. A couple of thoughts from tonight, while I pretend to procrastinate on finishing my Accounting homework for the evening: to be considered the crown jewel of the WWE's depleted managerial corps, Paul Heyman only has a 40% success rate with 'Paul Heyman Guys'. Punk and Lesnar both accomplished much, but Cesaro, Ryback and Curtis Axel were all somewhere between dismal failure and lost causes. If I'm Seth Rollins, I'm lining up a pipe bomb for insurance if he becomes a part of the Heyman Hustle.

    Secondly, poor Dean Ambrose has reached the point of no return I think. Before last night, he was the victim of poor booking and listless direction, but he still had enough residual support to sustain something serious should the WWE have wanted to go that way. Reading the Ambrose jokes today, it's become obvious that the guy is now just a punchline, and has almost no chance of ever really being taken seriously again. It's an absolute fucking shame, but I guess at least Roman Reigns wont have any serious competition to challenge his new Alpha-Face status, sans Cena.

    ReplyDelete
  104. It's ok. I'm still trying out at the Performance Center

    ReplyDelete
  105. Well it was all good overall, worth watching anyways.

    ReplyDelete
  106. And MNF was at halftime

    ReplyDelete
  107. Next week, Hoss is inexplicably Biff's 'Lil Red Rooster' Why? Because fuck yes, that's why!

    ReplyDelete
  108. Hey, did Dean do something dumb again? I asked in the other thread, but I don't know where motherfuckers are hanging out now.

    ReplyDelete
  109. He and Bray Wyatt had the night off.

    ReplyDelete
  110. (We are at the local mall, where the children meet Santa. Pan up to see Santa Claus tied to his chair and gagged with a string of Christmas lights, surrounded by the Riverdale Covenant. Archie speaks.)

    "Hello, my friends at the BOD! Next week, it's a Riverdale Christmas.

    I have so many gifts to give.

    Especially to you, Bill Ray.

    As for what I hope to receive, well, I'm just a simple soul. All I want is to bring Uncle Caliber home something special."

    (He holds up a toy replica of the BOD heavyweight championship belt.)

    "Probably not this year, but make no mistake... "

    (Archie RIPS the toy belt in half.)

    "....I'm coming.

    For Uncle Caliber.

    Now then, St Nick....."

    (Archie produces Jughead, and Santa's eyes go wide. Archie grins.)

    "....Welcome to Hell. Welcome....to Riverdale."

    (Smash to black)

    ReplyDelete
  111. With your new name............................Tomas Guerra Jr.

    ReplyDelete
  112. He's a punchline here but we're a small and creative cross-section of Internet fandom. The jokes were made because the structure is hilarious. Ambrose will be fine.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Main event sounds fun, I'll check that out. Otherwise holy crap everything else sounds pretty unwatchable. This roster is the pits.


    So Ambrose didn't job to any ghosts or equipment or old ladies or anything tonight? Did he get locked in his car or something?

    ReplyDelete
  114. Okay, I've been MIA for a while. I fucking loved every part of that C-List entourage segment.

    And I'm proud to help out the We Kinda-Sorta Care charity...somewhat. My works with the Human Fund should be noted as well.

    ReplyDelete
  115. I hope so; I'm not as high on him as I was in October when he was starting to gain traction, because Creative pretty much obliterated anything that made him special. To be fair, they did that to almost everyone not named John Cena, so it's not endemic to Ambrose specifically, like they went out of their way to bury the guy.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Pathetic. The fact that any of us give a shit says we all have mental problems and should be evaluated. AndyPG is a shit head. He shouldn't write for the site. Pathetic.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Unless I missed it, Ambrose didn't even show up. Apparently he jobbed to the car.

    ReplyDelete
  118. I mean, he'll be fine the way Santino and Hornswaggle are fine.

    ReplyDelete
  119. What did I say about going full Reddit?

    ReplyDelete
  120. Gotta sell that TV exploding in your face.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Shots fired! Shots fired!

    ReplyDelete
  122. Nice! This might be Ambrose's best Raw performance since he came back from the movie shoot. Guess he's getting a push after all!

    ReplyDelete
  123. He'll have a good showing in the Rumble. Probably a decent feud for WM. He won't be anywhere near the title but he will be in the upper midcard somewhere.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Tommy Hall vs. Andy PG, loser leaves town, now with Danimal Crossing as the guest special referee!

    ReplyDelete
  125. Next week is the big Minneapolis BoD RAW supershow

    ReplyDelete
  126. See, this is what I mean. Hilarious and creative!

    ReplyDelete
  127. This Ambrose business is funny to joke about but a few people are waaaay overreacting to his standing with the company. I can only imagine their reaction when Mankind pulled out a sock from his undies.

    ReplyDelete
  128. No. They had Kofi grab his dick and rap.

    ReplyDelete
  129. Wow, a little ragey.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Shit, this company man. You have such star potential in guys like Ambrose, Wyatt, Rollins and Ziggler and they just tiptoe on eggshells with everybody because they just are so worried about guys becoming bigger than the logo.

    ReplyDelete
  131. I have to admit, when you originally were ranting about "clumsy Dean" several weeks back I thought you were overreacting, but they really have turned him into a bit of a clown.

    ReplyDelete
  132. You forgot to call him a cocksucker!

    ReplyDelete
  133. DOUBLE DQ. FUCK EM BOTH!

    ReplyDelete
  134. Or those trolls last night that called everyone "faget"

    ReplyDelete
  135. Everyone knows that the product is ice cold, like Antarctic-level cold right now; we debate this ad nauseum. You why it's so infuriating, beyond the expected 'we want to see good wrestling!' response? Their creative funk is in no way indicative of the talent that they have on the roster. With John Cena, Seth Rollins, Dean Ambrose, Cesaro, Dolph Ziggler, Luke Harper, Mizdow, the Rhodes Brothers, the Usos, Kofi Kingston, Big E, Rusev, Swagger, Tyson Kidd, AJ Lee, Natalya, Paige, plus a wealth of talent in NXT that's ready to come up like the Ascension and Adrian Neville, there's no reason why the product should be this fucking bad. Two monkeys fucking a football could shit out a better show each week than the brainless, dickless turds writing Raw produce weekly.

    ReplyDelete
  136. I still think they should have him and Rollins one last time at Mania, unless Orton/Rollins is in the cards. Part of me still thinks that Orton will involve himself in the Cena/Lesnar title match, costing Brock the belt to set up Orton/Lesnar at Mania.

    ReplyDelete
  137. Were they WWE apologist? Usually, hardcore WWE fans have sub-par vocabulary.

    ReplyDelete
  138. A bit? He had a fucking plugged in TV explode in his face!!!

    ReplyDelete
  139. WOW. Nothing brings the posters of this blog together quite like a goofball blowing himself up with a fucking TV set. Thank you Dean!

    ReplyDelete
  140. I don't know. The Anchor Cheese documentary might still be going on. If I got up and decided to quit my job tomorrow, I would totally write up a script or review of it. It'd be write up my alley. I'm an expert at stupid-cute-funny comedy.

    ReplyDelete
  141. That's all that I ask for, really. There seems to be this implicit rule that if so-and-so isn't wrestling for the World Title, he's getting buried. Wrestling needs tiers of stars; Ambrose could wrestle in the opening match for all I care, or Kofi Kingston, or Cesaro. All that I ask is that what they do matters, whether it's in the main event or in the undercard.

    ReplyDelete
  142. I'm no speed reader and it's around 10 min for me too.

    ReplyDelete
  143. IF Big Show jobs to Roman at Royal Rumble and officially retires I'm willing to accept him being on the show. If not he can just fuck right off.

    ReplyDelete
  144. They were trolls from some other site...just copied and pasted the same bullshit repeatedly.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Should've gone to Radio Shack, then that wouldn't have happened.

    I know, Weird Al told me so. Weird Al would never lie to me.

    ReplyDelete
  146. TVS DONT EXPLODE! FUCK! IM STILL PISSED OFF ABOUT IT!!!

    ReplyDelete
  147. Face turn for Rose? I thought that was a face turn for Kane.

    He's well past his Turn-By date.

    ReplyDelete
  148. TVS DONT EXPLODE LIKE THAT!!!

    ReplyDelete
  149. This is precisely why I hope they give Ziggler a meaningful reign with the IC belt. It sets a structure for the midcard and the longer he has the belt, the more people will care about it.

    ReplyDelete
  150. According to some guy on Reddit who apparently works for the company, lots of the talent want HHH running the company (or at least the on-air product) instead of Vince, and purposely mailed it in their performances on TLC. Wonder if that'll get them anywhere.

    ReplyDelete
  151. Someone else said this earlier, but his shtick should be burying shitty gimmicks that no one likes.

    ReplyDelete
  152. Chill out man, and just enjoy Dino the Menace's goofball antics and/or shenanigans.

    ReplyDelete
  153. I fully expect Dean to have his identity stolen in a Nigerian Prince scam next week on Raw.

    ReplyDelete
  154. It'll get them future endeavored

    ReplyDelete
  155. I feel bad because Show has always been so willing to show ass to get new guys over. It's like he is the one guy who was constantly fucked with coming up that wants to make it easier for new generations. But he just can't do it anymore. It's time for him to go.

    ReplyDelete
  156. So he basically chokeslams the entire roster off the stage and then blows himself up?

    ReplyDelete
  157. Like he did to CM Punk and Daniel Bryan!

    ReplyDelete
  158. There is no reason why Ziggler can't fulfill the Sami Zayn role in the midcard on the main roster right now: incredibly athletic face who overcame adversity to claim something that means the world to him (in this case, the Intercontinental Title), and now have to walk through Hell in order to keep it. It keeps Ziggler relevant and builds him up as a rising face, and it makes the Intercontinental Championship mean something. In the last five years, it's almost been like people forgot they were even wrestling for a damn title.

    ReplyDelete
  159. The words no one likes...lol

    ReplyDelete
  160. Cody had a good run with it. But that's it.

    ReplyDelete
  161. No. He blows himself up, THEN chokeslams the entire roster off the stage.

    ReplyDelete
  162. I'd touched on that in the daily thread: I don't inherently like the idea of wrestlers mailing it in, because they're catching the fans in the crossfire with management. But it would certainly explain in part why TLC(S) sucked so much cock.

    ReplyDelete
  163. I very nearly pissed myself laughing so hard. +1

    ReplyDelete
  164. I think right after WM26 right before he got released. I want to say it was The Miz, but I'm not sure.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Whoever it was that suggested Adam Rose's posse attach itself to Kane in the Raw thread was a fucking genius. How the monkeys in Creative couldn't figure that out astounds me.

    ReplyDelete
  166. I agree 100% he should've been booked like Khali was way back in 99/2000. But that was many years ago its time to hang it up. That said he seems like a pretty articulate guy and I think would be a great addition to commentary somewhere.

    ReplyDelete
  167. Pshaw. He stil has years before he starts limping around like Andre

    ReplyDelete
  168. Anchor Chesse Doc is riveting. Its the finest processed cheese made in New Zealand

    http://waytofamous.com/images/tony-garea-07.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  169. Dean Ambrose is so dumb, someone told him drinks are on the house and went to Home Depot to buy a ladder.

    ReplyDelete
  170. I think it's dumb too. What'd be nice (or interesting anyway) would be if Vince had some sort of illness for a while, and HHH ran the shows for a month. Would give us a taste of what the future will be like.


    Then again, I doubt Vince would stay away unless he was comatose.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Ambrose almost definitely is in that battle royal at Mania. No way that goofy comedy guy gets a singles match. Against who?


    Roman/Lesnar, Cena/Rusev, Sting/HHH, Rollins/Orton, Divas match, tag match, battle royal,maybe Bray/Taker and if not I'd bet its Bray vs Ziggler or Harper or TBD. Not gonna go back to this awful Bray/Ambrose feud for Mania.


    Where would Ambrose fit in?

    ReplyDelete
  172. Vince will never admit to being sick. He thinks sneezing is a moral failure.

    ReplyDelete
  173. I don't get the deal with people constantly [/italics] ragging on the length of these. Just skip the bits you don't wanna read? Nobody is holding a gun to your head, expecting every sentence read and a literacy test at the end. Since I don't bother watching any WWE these days, they're actually great recaps and I get em done in about a casual 10mins.

    ReplyDelete
  174. I wouldn't be opposed to seeing him get a Hall of Fame nod and a proper send off this year, but he and Kane are just becoming a drag on anything they're associated with. It's mind-numbing crap on a weekly basis.

    ReplyDelete
  175. Then when he climbed the ladder, his foot got stuck in the gutter, he trips and falls off and hits the ground.

    Bray shows up, Sister Abigail...1, 2, 3.

    ReplyDelete
  176. COCK SUCKNAR! #amirite #howboutit

    ReplyDelete
  177. Oh its definitely gonna be Orton/Rollins at Mania, not Ambrose/Rollins. Rollins won that feud and its dead and buried and cold as ice.

    ReplyDelete
  178. That shows you how mind-numbing the show has been the last few years, when I barely even remember that run. It's thanks to Cody that the classic IC title even came back.

    ReplyDelete
  179. If they really want to keep Show around, pair him up with a smaller heel a la JeriShow or Showmiz. I can't think of a use for Kane.

    ReplyDelete
  180. And now I'm imagining the Raw a few weeks out, when the Nigerian Prince reveals his identity... and Sister Abigail... 1,2,3

    ReplyDelete
  181. The plans always change (except WM29). There's plenty of time for a shuffle or two. They were setting up Nexus vs Taker at this point one year and that didn't happen.

    ReplyDelete
  182. My comment? No. Their booking? Yes.

    ReplyDelete
  183. Probably a good heel character for one of the New Day guys to play once they scrap the faction. Kofi can go from Jamaican to Ghanaian to Nigerian.

    ReplyDelete
  184. "He's well past his Turn-By hour."



    FTFY

    ReplyDelete
  185. The roster is the strongest on the continent.

    There is no reason they shouldn't be able to put out compelling tv with the wrestling talent they have.

    And yet...they can't.

    ReplyDelete
  186. Well it WAS on Smackdown so I don't blame you.

    ReplyDelete
  187. Kane could be a comedy guy; his best work in the last decade was playing the straight man to Daniel Bryan.

    ReplyDelete
  188. Kane is ok in his stooge role. For some reason he still competes in matches. I'd be fine with Show and Kane as bodyguard types who just come in interfere and do a few power spots and get out.

    ReplyDelete
  189. Sure anything can happen, but Ambrose isn't Daniel Bryan. Fans aren't gonna hijack shows for him, not even close. Christ, the crowd for his TLC match was pretty dead BEFORE that awful ending even happened.


    So yes plans can change, but Ambrose is wayyyyyy down the depth chart in terms of baby faces getting a singles match/feud for Mania. His best case is having a feud with Sheamus or Harper or some mid carder heading into the Andre battle royal.

    ReplyDelete
  190. I cannot WAIT for my match. Loudmouth midcard heels do great in these scenarios.

    ReplyDelete
  191. $95 an hour! Seriously I don't know why more people haven't tried this, I work two shifts, 2 hours in the day and 2 in the evening…And what's awesome is I'm working from home so I get more time with my kids. Heres where I went, ,,,..,,

    ▬▬▬w­w­w­.­r­e­v­i­e­w­s­­­-2­4­7­.­c­o­m

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment