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WCW Worldwide: December 15, 1996

Just days away from Christmas, will WCW load their biggest syndicated show with loads of top stars just to please me? Why yes – no less than the likes of Madusa, Hugh Morrus, Big Bubba, and Hacksaw Duggan!

TONY SCHIAVONE and “SOBER” BOBBY HEENAN host from the Disney MGM studios.


JOE GOMEZ and THE RENEGADE vs. HIGH VOLTAGE

Hey, I don’t remember having been promised Joe Gomez or The Renegade; this show is the gift that keeps on giving. We saw this match just last night on WCW Saturday Night, where the Renegade scored his first pinfall in ages. With momentum, don’t be surprised if it continues here tonight. We start with many hiptosses, because that’s roughly all they have. Renegade, now without facepaint, but armed with nuclear nipples, comes off the top with a … punch. Kaos fires back with a double underhook powerbomb on Gomez, and a slingshot splash from Rage gives the heels the advantage. Kaos unfortunately misses a shoulderblock, hitting his buddy instead, and Renegade comes in a house of fire, hitting them with … punches. A handspring back elbow drops Rage, but Kaos saves at 2. Gomez clears the ring, and hits a sidewalk slam on Rage for the win at 3:42. 1/2*

ELECTRONIC KARATE FIGHTERS!

HUGH MORRUS vs. LEROY HOWARD

Good to see old Leroy giving the can another kick. This is the rubber match between these two, having previous fought on the September 2 Prime, and the September 8 Worldwide. Of course, this is the equivalent of playing for pride, as Morrus swept the first two matches. A spinning heel kick takes the head of Howard right off, and he is now deceased. Morrus refuses to cover a corpse. Because it’s morbid? No, because he can stop and laugh in his previously functional face. Morrus punches him some more which seems like overkill, and starts going full Weekend at Bernies by picking him up at 2. He hits the No Laughing Matter, pins the torso at 2:57, and laughs hysterically, screaming “NOW THAT’S FUNNY!” The Howard family requests that you send money instead of flowers. *

31-minute Roddy Piper video package.

KAORU (with Sonny Onoo) vs. MADUSA

Were you aware the women’s title tournament is still happening? Well, you would if you read my Main Event recaps. You don’t? It’s a SECRET EASTER EGG hidden on my personal blog, and I’m implore you to read it to find out the latest in Lee Marshall news. Madusa beat Zero last night. It begs the question: How many wrestlers does Sonny Onoo manage in this tournament, exactly? Kaoru gives Madusa the face sitter, because she’s Japanese and they’re all sex workers you know. Madusa hits 3 swinging neckbreakers for 2, which frustrates her. Thankfully for her she’s white, so she isn’t losing. A couple of muff-presses are delivered from Kaoru. Does she know any moves that don’t use her vag, exactly? Yes – just one – the moonsault that misses by 80 feet, and the German suplex wins for America at 2:45. 1/2*

JIMMY GRAFFITI vs. CHRIS JERICHO

We’re about 3 or 4 months in to the Chris Jericho era, and I think we’ve firmly established that’s a bland crowd-kissing wiener. I would be delighted if we explored other aspects of his personality, such as his relationship with Dave Penzer. But first, he’s got to survive the wrath of Jimmy Graffiti, who hits him with a backdrop suplex. A superkick flattens the Paragon of Virtue, and a short powerbomb gets 2. Jericho fires back with Sweet Chin Music, and asks us the question that’s been on his mind since the start of the match: “ARE YOU READ-EH?” Graffiti is, and gives Jericho a jawbreaker. Chris rolls to the floor, and Jimbob misses his senton off the apron, crashing into the spinning stage. Jericho quickly finishes with a missile dropkick at 3:27. *1/2

EDDIE GUERRERO vs. PUNISHER

Ooh WCW, you know I’m a sucker for really stupid gimmicks, and this is the finest new one you’ve trotted out in months. Observe:



I’m fairly sure he’s a “punisher” in the BDSM sense. The safe word is “cabbage”, Eddie. Punisher shows off his tight bulge, and Eddie promptly grabs it to slam him. Punisher has no time for these games, he is the alpha male, and pounds away on Eddie. A standing senton gets 2, as well as an uncontrollable erection (I won’t spoil from who). A standing vertical suplex has everyone standing at attention, as Punisher gets 2. Punisher chokes Eddie out like he’s Jian Gomeshi, but he sadly forgets to turn his teddy bear’s head around first. Eddie escapes, and slams Punisher’s face to the buckle for an even 10. A European uppercut loosens some teeth, just the way Punisher likes it. In fact, this gives him a second wind, and he slams Eddie before heading to the top (rope – let’s not be gross). He chooses to assert his sexual dominance with a primal roar, releasing so much testosterone the front row is forced to change their clothing at intermission.



The momentum of his manhood propels him forward into Eddie’s awaiting arms, but it’s a trick, and Eddie rolls away. He scoots up top, hitting the Frog Splash, and scoring the pin as they lie together, out of breath, but mutually satisfied with the result at 4:14. 69 stars. Tune in next week when Punisher continues to plow through the family, taking on “Gory” Guerrero.

BIG BUBBER (with Jimmy Hart) vs. “HACKSAW” JIM DUGGAN

This is your main event. Without checking my archives, I have to guess that this is roughly the 98th match between these two in 1996. Heenan wastes no time in laying into Duggan, so Tony stands his ground and tells Heenan if he says one more word, he’s going to invite Duggan over the announce booth with the 2x4 and tell him what he said. Heenan: “That’s fine, the next time the Faces of Fear come out, I’ll tell them what YOU said about where they come from.” Tony: “I didn’t say that!” Heenan: “I don’t care, I’ll make it up. Besides, I never said anything bad about Duggan, I just tell the truth.” Tony: “Forget it.” Bubba works a headlock, so Duggan goes to the kidney punches to scoot loose. A hair toss has Bubba clutching his scalp, and Hart stops to point out the giant bald spot on the side of his head to the referee. The referee doesn’t believe a word of it. Duggan delivers an atomic drop, and slam Bubba, setting up the 3 Point Stance. Hart gets involved, and Bubba jabs the megaphone to Duggan’s midsection drawing a DQ at 2:32. The heels celebrate while Duggan’s doubled over, but I’ve played this game before. Sure enough, he grabs his 2x4, and chases the heels off. Bubba forgets his hat and glasses, so Duggan puts them on and marches around the ring until Bubba comes back to claim them. Duggan smacks him in the face with the board, and calls out his hoes. *




Next week: Konnan, Big Bubba, Mr. Wallstreet, Galaxy, and Ciclope! Okay, I’m a little jazzed for the last two. Tony signs off with the obligatory 470 word soliloquy to Roddy Piper, and we’re out.

Comments

  1. Jax was a dreadful attempt at a flawed hero. He started off with so much promise too.

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  2. Scott's been pretty liberal about giving Yoko *** matches lately. He gave Yoko/Duggan *** and also Yoko/Luger from Summerslam *** too.

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  3. Really? It wasn't quite "Is a lumberjack", but how you could watch that finale and not be shaking your head the whole time, I'll never know. Especially that climatic sequence. A huge LOL moment.

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  4. I completely agree. Announcing can make or break the TV product, and it's a nuclear wasteland for the WWE right now. All comes down to passion and having the announcers that are emotionally invested in the characters. Ross was genius at this, as were Heenan and Ventura for the heels. The match and commentary are secondary now; all Cole worries about is how to get the obligatory 30 sponsor plugs in during the hour. "Dean Ambrose with a suplex there....and don't forget RAW is brought to you live tonight by Diet Mountain Dew!!!"

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  5. That actually WAS a move a lot of fat kids used back in Elementary School. They'd threaten you with it, and would absolutely do it if they got a good hold on you. Hurt like fuck. Because they were so fat.

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  6. Lol @ choked him out like Jian Ghomeshi.

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  7. for some reason I hear Phil Hartman's Frankenstin voice saying "Bret BAD!!! Shawn GOOD!!!"


    Sheesh, make a few more excuses. The guy was awesome in the ring, but he was a dick who wouldn't job. It's common knowledge at this point that even when he had a career ending injury at WM14 he had to be threatened by UT and cajoled by HHH to even get him to go put ove Austin, much less his fake "smile" injury.

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  8. You don't have to get me anything for christmas I don't even fucking know you anyways

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  9. Scott, make sure you have a box of tissues after the first couple of episodes of season 5. Just a friendly warning

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  10. Tweet. Creep. Hydrate. Repeat.

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  11. I started reading this and thought, "well that's something intelligent for a change - put on some Best Of shows to attract new viewers unfamiliar with TNA".

    And then the very first episode... "Best of Sting".

    *facepalm*

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  12. The Big Show imitation of Heyman on the Blu Ray extras is incredibly funny.

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  13. Crying time? Or sexytime?

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  14. Why is it facepalming doing a show to get people interested in tna

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  15. Crowd: "This is awesome!"
    JBL: "The WWE Universe thinks this IS awesome!"

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  16. I prefer my sofas dry.

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  17. This is why the state of announcing in most sports has gone downhill. Most of the MLB and NFL announcers are so bland and lacking of any emotion that it's downright terrible, at least there are some good announcers on the radio left like Vin Scully, Marty Brennamen, and Bob Eucker.
    If Cole weren't so micromanaged by Vince, he'd be at least on par with most of the bland tv guys in the MLB and NFL. Not saying that's a good thing, but would be a bit of an improvement.

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  18. I'm 25 and have already passed two... sometimes age isn't a factor

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  19. JBL was so good on his first run as an announcer on Smackdown ... honestly its one of the more disappointing things in the last few years. I thought he was going to bring a real heel to the announce table.

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  20. Maaaaan, fuck '96 Shawn Michaels...

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  21. The last one I passed was almost two years ago, and I went to one of those ER rooms built inside of a renovated Blockbuster Video. They charged me $6000 for essentially an x-ray and some painkillers. Luckily I was still on my parents' insurance at the time, and I think the insurance company called them out on their BS.

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  22. Punisher looks like Buff Bagwell's older, lazier, out of shape brother... so THAT'S who got Buff into the male gigolo business.

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  23. Fun Fact: According to Scott Keith, Billy Gunn has never had a singles match over the *** mark. Yoko has had three *** matches.

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  24. the crowd at Survivor Series 96 response to Sid pretty much sums that up

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  25. The rule of thumb I give to people about SOA is don't get attached to anyone - everyone dies lol.

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  26. Make no mistake, Lawler was awful in the Attitude era too

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  27. the show was at its best early when it more revolved around the club and its love/hate relationship with the town they were in. They were criminals but also the only thing protecting this town from developers and things like that. It lost that nuance when they went to Ireland.

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  28. Definitely agreed, I thought the same. Mick nailed it though. And it definitely helped that he debuted getting the better of Taker. Instant credibility even with the goofy gimmick.

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  29. I really want to live in the alternate universe where "Bret agrees to drop the belt to anyone from the Undertaker down to the Brooklyn Brawler" and have Vince go along with it and book the Survivor Series 97 main event to be Bret dropping the belt to the Brooklyn Brawler

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  30. It's facepalming to feature someone who is not with the company any longer and who, in fact, is now under contract with their competition. It may as we'll be an infomercial for WWE at this point.

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  31. I thought the announcers were going to get a reprieve after Cole used the phrase "Michinoku Driver" last night. Tough crowd.

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  32. While season 3 wasn't very good, the finale was great. It's definitely all downhill from there, even if the final season had a couple of decent episodes.

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  33. I vote for a SOA thread so we
    1. Don't spoil it for the people who havent seen it and
    2. Can bitch about the last couple of seasons.

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  34. Scott jobs to kidney stones! Hope recovery goes well for you, brother. Thoughts and prayers sent your way.

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  35. Yeah SOA Season 3 was pretty bad but the finale makes up for it.

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  36. Yokozuna and a Toyota Prius weigh about the same, and Prius are sneaky.

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  37. It does, actually, when Vince signs a contract that gives Bret creative control over his character in the last 30 days of his contract. It does when Bret offers multiple creative solutions to this problem and Vince refuses. It does if Vince is the one who breached Bret's contract in the first place, sending him off to WCW.

    You're on the "right" side of history only because it's all bullshit spun by con artists. Bret had every right to say he didn't want to lose to Shawn because Vince gave him that fucking right in Bret's contract.

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  38. Last five minutes of the S3 finale though? So fucking great.

    "This is what she felt."
    BLAMBLAMBLAMBLAM
    *1.2 Muta*

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  39. I always thought Tom Pritchard as a Bodydonna was a sort of "wink wink" to his Heavenly Bodies gimmick in SMW, where he played up the same situational irony.

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  40. I don't remember thinking Mankind was a bad gimmick. I thought the demented former piano prodigy forced to live in the sewers with rats was a cool backstory, very comic book-like. He was the first wrestler to have separate entrance/exit music too, which was awesome. Agree to disagree here. Granted I was also 10 years old in 1996 and had no idea who Cactus Jack was.

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  41. His debut RAW where he attacked Undertaker was great, too. I was watching that at my buddy's house and I remember the two of us cracking up because Mankind just would not leave Taker alone and had to be pulled off of him like 5 or 6 times. Lol. Wrestling was more fun as a kid.

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  42. It's common knowledge on the internet, never proven elsewhere. And at the end of the day nobody had to ring the bell to get a title off Shawn Michaels.

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  43. Or it could be a "hey Sting has some buzz right now, let's get some eyeballs off that buzz" thing.

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  44. The Best of Mr. Anderson. I'd watch, if that were a Beavis and Butthead compilation.

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  45. Same here, really my first year or so of TNA impressions was pretty sweet and a lot of fun (went to a good number of shows in the Nashville era). Raven was the shit in TNA.

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  46. So it's okay to use creative control for personal reasons? There's no reason Bret the character can't lose to Shawn the character. If Hogan uses his creative control to refuse jobbing to someone because he doesn't like them it's a different story.

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  47. They agreed to end the contract.

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  48. That's not exactly how the story went. Vince basically came to him and said he was breaching his contract and could not afford to pay him and told Bret to go to WCW

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  49. No one had to ring the bell to get the belt off Bret Hart, given that he agreed to job the title over and over at show after show. And Taker himself acknowledged the HBK thing.

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  50. Where have I said that's wrong? That's the entire point of having creative control, so you can veto ideas you don't like.

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  51. Yes actually. That's what creative control is.

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  52. While I agree JR is the best ever, I refuse to believe NO ONE else can do the job well. As others have correctly stated, most of this comes down to how they're managed/produced. Michael Cole was just fine when he was left alone with Tazz on Smackdown. The guy's a professional broadcaster, after all...

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  53. You know that Vince didn't have to ring the bell and could've just went with the plan he supposedly agreed on with Bret. It's not Bret's fault that Vince was paranoid.

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  54. I can't even think of a three star Billy Gunn singles match!

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  55. You can still get me something for Christmas.


    I don't agree with you, but I do like the free shit.

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  56. Actually, Sting I kind of get. I don't like it, but I get it.


    He hasn't been with WWE long enough to be "associated" with them, and his name is super-buzz-worthy right now.


    If they're going to do a feature on Sting, now would be the best time to do it. (Why wait 6 months, when he's further engrained in WWE and not nearly as "hot" to do it?)


    Angle I get as well. Still a name. And his matches have been awesome.


    After that is when things start falling apart.


    RonRob Van Dam?
    Mr Anderson?


    Really?


    They should put Bully right after Sting and Angle. A name who has made their own thing in TNA and has been awesome enough to become in many ways BETTER than he was in WWE.

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  57. The only good one I can remember is the match Billy had with Rock in a cage on Raw, which I believe Scott never rated.

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  58. But his dropkick! According to JR, Billy Gunn was one of the best natural athletes in the business!

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  59. Or ut could be that they felt to put his best matches on there seriously though sting only made one appearence on wwe and his Buzz you're talking about is fucking gone

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  60. Dude that's only one person you're getting upset over featuring someone who was in fact with them longer than he was with wwe

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  61. Ah like they've thought of that.

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  62. They did think of that why come here if you're just going to shit on tna its fucking stupid

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  63. 1) That's not all I do here.
    2) This is like the best place to do that.
    3) They haven't proven themselves to be some smart, observant company in the past so I'm going with track record here.

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  64. So being being in 130 countries isn't smart and getting secondary shows on destination america isn't smart than you need help don't come if you don't like tna its fucking stupid to be commenting on a company you don't like onone of their sites

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  65. He admits to coke and painkillers pretty freely, even these days, why would steroids be what he lies about?

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  66. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©December 23, 2014 at 5:18 PM

    They were originally on a Viacom channel, they should have done a special episode with that,

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  67. Somewhat, Undertaker implies he would have hurt Shawn if he didn't do business. The story Shawn tells, as told to him by Undertaker, is that Undertaker told Vince if there was a problem he would take care of it but Shawn was going to do the job so there was no threatening him into it. If he didn't want to lose the title he could have used that crippling back injury he had to get out of it.

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  68. Yes, he would lose to anyone but who he was asked to lose to anywhere but where he was asked to, and he couldn't lose before Montreal because the show was build around him being Champion so really the only logical thing to do was him just pass over the title and be on his way.

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  69. Bret could have just lost the belt like everyone else has done on the way out. Hulk Hogan can lose the title but Bret Hart doesn't have to?

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  70. THat's how fans have felt toward John Cena's pandering character for about 5 years now, and nothing has changed. Smart of Shawn/Vince to turn him tweener the next day.

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  71. that's probably because Cena sells a shitload of merch and is 100% reliable, does whatever is asked of him, and makes the company money. Shawn in 96, on the other hand ...

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  72. actually in the Monday Night Wars Kliq episode which was available briefly and then disappeared, HHH openly acknowledges he had to constantly cajole HBK to show up and be ready that night. As for UT, I've heard the story enough from enough different wrestlers and backstage folks to buy it. Plus, it's shawn, not like he doesn't have a history.

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  73. Yes, he was willing to lose to anyone and everyone at various dates.

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  74. Undertaker was taping his fists and basically reminded Shawn he was gonna get it if he didn't do the job. At the time, everyone was beyond sick of his bullshit

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  75. Just look at him.

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  76. Bret Hart was more than willing to lose the belt on his way out.

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  77. He's out of shape and bloated, which he attributed to when he started travelling with Nash matching him meal for meal and drinking. The guy admits to be a drug addict and sack of shit but steroids he's going to lie about to this day? Why?

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  78. If he was more than willing it wouldn't have taken a screw job to make it happen. He refused to lose the title to the point where they had to double cross him in the ring to get it from him.

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  79. The distracted acting, eyes darting, unfocused non-acting gremlin that is toddler and small child Abel is coming though. The twins that play him (two of them and they still can't make one fucking scene that isn't terrible!) are bad enough, but the fact that 80% of their lines were added in post production and it's painfully obvious that they were will irk you to no end. Cute, blue beanie wearing Abel and what you're about to witness are two very different beasts. Be afraid. Be very afraid.

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  80. That's not remotely true

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  81. At that point, Vince was in a bad position because he’d given Hart a scenario he’d agreed to, and then Michaels nixed it. Hart knew that, which only made him more adamant about not losing to Michaels. The compromise, and this was the scenario the night before that McMahon presented in the production meeting, and that Hart had agreed to, was that there would be a non-finish in Montreal, and on the next PPV, there would be a four-way with Michaels, Hart, Undertaker and Ken Shamrock. It would be an elimination match, so Hart would lose cleanly in his last night in, to either Undertaker or Shamrock. Hart had great respect for Undertaker, and Hart personally recruited Shamrock to WWF. The point being is that Hart considered Shamrock almost a protégé, since Shamrock even trained in Calgary for his WWF debut in Hart’s camp under Leo Burke and he’d have had no problems losing to either one on the way out. Given who the two were, that should have been obvious, but tensions were high and I don’t know that anybody was truly thinking straight. Whoever beat Hart for the fall would have then lost the final fall clean to Michaels. Vince gets Michaels as champion, which was important because Michaels was absolutely the best guy to hold the belt to drop it to Austin at Mania the next year, since Austin was surpassing both Hart and Michaels as the top guy by that time.

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  82. Vince wanted Hart to lose the title in Montreal to Michaels. Hart wanted to lose to Austin in the U.S. Neither would agree. Lawyers were involved. They came up with one scenario after another to get Hart to lose to Michaels in Montreal, and he said that with the nature of the feud with Michaels, he was not going to go into Montreal without the belt and would lose the belt outside of Canada. He even agreed to lose to Steve Lombardi in Madison Square Garden, which was a week later. The part that Vince Russo in his talking head piece didn’t mention, and Paul Levesque of course didn’t mention, was that Vince came up with a solution, or at least he thought, where Hart would beat Michaels clean in Montreal and then Hart would drop it clean to Michaels at the following PPV. It was only after Michaels refused that scenario

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  83. If HBK admits he's a sack of shit then why do you keep blindly defending him? Or when at a loss for words just try to something bad Bret Hart did to deflect the issue

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  84. Because steroids are the current ultimate taboo in the sportz entertainment biz due to Benoit.

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