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Matt's Monday Night RAW Recap - 1/12/2015

Changes, changes, changes.


Scott Stanford, Corey Graves and Alex Riley are now the RAW Pre-show hosts. Jerry Lawler is leaving RAW to do Thursday Night Smackdown and Booker T is his replacement for the foreseeable future.

And something I didn't expect (and claimed would never happen in my Daily DDT days on Fansided): the "Macho Man" Randy Savage is the first inductee into the WWE Hall of Fame for 2015. I've never been so happy to be wrong.

Let's get going.

We start with clips of last week's RAW when Survivor Series was ret-conned and Triple H fired the entire upper half of the WWE roster.

We are LIVE(!!!) from New Orleans, Louisiana!!!

JBL, Cole and Booker T are the guys manning the talking desk of doom.

Cena comes out to the ring and welcomes the crowd to RAW, then shifts to The Authority and recaps us on what happened. He asks the crowd if they liked Ziggler and the crowd pops. He asks if the three guys that got fired deserved it because nobody's gonna pop for "Do you like Erick Rowan???" He asks the crowd if they wanna see the fired guys tonight. Crowd likes that. He says he wants to talk to the Authority about this since they "listen to the fans". He has a Plan B: he's gonna win at the Royal Rumble and, when it's over, he's gonna leave WWE with the title and not come back. As if that's a new idea.

That brings out The Authority. Cole takes time to give us the Sad Exposition: the Fired Three didn't get a severance package because nothing gets a fan fired up like a millionaire not getting his final paycheck. Steph says John has gone off the deep end and Triple H agrees. Triple H says Cena supported a "mutiny" all of the sudden. Also, Steph calls Cena selfish for "saving Edge" which doesn't even make sense on Shrooms. Triple H says he hated firing the three guys. He says that he still wants to make Cena a hero again: he asks Cena what he's going to do to bring them back. All he has to do to get their jobs back is to win his match tonight.

Cena is already expecting a screwjob and asks how many men Triple H will make him face. Triple H says it's gonna be one on one -- against Seth Rollins. Also, it's a lumberjack match, with an all-heel cast, so the Overbooking Paella has officially been served. Enjoy!

We go to break.

MATCH #1: John Cena vs. Seth Rollins (w/ J&J Security - Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury)
Rollins tries to toss Cena from the ring but that doesn't work. JBL: "I can't imagine anyone saying The Authority sucks! Who would do that?" That's followed by a giant moment of awkward silence as Booker T and Cole pretend that Daniel Bryan never existed for some reason. After some back and forth, Cena gets ejected and the lumberjacks beat up on him. Cena comes back and clotheslines Rollins from the ring but J&J Security make sure to "keep the lumberjacks away" and, of course, they obey. We go to break as Cena winces as though he just saw the script for 12 Rounds 3.

After break, Cena's at the mercy of Rollins because Bad News Barrett tripped Cena. He immediately comes back with Moves 1 through 3. Rollins counters the 5KS and Cena hits #3 again plus the 5KS and AA. Security comes into the ring and the lumberjacks pull Rollins from the ring. So Cena dives at Rollins and the entire crowd of heels. Back in the ring, it's a close fall. Rollins comes back with a Small Package for two, then hits an Alberto Del Superkick and gets another two count. Rollins goes top rope but Cena interrupts, culminating in a Turnbuckle Powerbomb by Rollins. Two count.

Rollins gets pissed at the ref, then rushes Cena who gets up and hits a quick Spinebuster for two. It's an Exchange of Punches by the two guys and Cena ducks a shot. He tries the AA but Rollins lands on his feet. Rollins hits a Reverse Suplex DDT for two. Rollins misses a Stinger Splash and Cena hits an AA. But the lumberjacks immediately pull Cena out of the ring and beat him. Cole: THIS IS A MUGGING!!! A MUGGING!!! Booker: What would you call this, JBL? JBL: A MUGGING!!! Back in the ring, Rollins attacks Cena only to fall victim to the STF. Kane drags Rollins to the ropes. Cena gets pulled out of the ring and Show hits a TKO on Cena. Rollins gets the win at 13:51.
WINNER: Seth Rollins
RATING: **. Creative will never learn. Ever.

TONIGHT: A Contract Signing which totally go smooth with no incident.

ALSO: Daniel Bryan is here!

The Usos and Ambrose are backstage. So is Steph. She tells them not to harbor a grudge against The Authority because of what happened last week. The Usos can't believe they're not being punished for anything -- so Steph books Naomi in a match where she ties her hand behind her back. Ambrose is now subject to a psych evaluation because he left the hospital when he wasn't supposed to.

The Miz and Miz-dow are backstage. The Miz congratulates George Clooney for his accomplishments at the Golden Globes. Forgive me. I'm struggling to come up with a Stacy Keibler joke.

Oh, and that psych dude is evaluating Dean Ambrose because this is what Ambrose's character has come to.

MATCH #2: The New Day (Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods) (w/ Big E) vs. Cesaro & Tyson Kidd (w/ Natalya & Adam Rose)
Kofi and Cesaro start. Cesaro won't get in the ring, so Kofi kicks him out of the ring, then hits a Baseball Slider. Back in the ring, Cesaro sends Kofi into Tyson's boot. Tyson tags in and he puts Kofi in a headlock. Kofi escapes but Cesaro and Tyson stomp him in the corner. Cesaro attacks Woods, then hits the Spin on Kofi. Tyson pins for two as Woods breaks it. The heels continue to tag in and out, stomping at Kofi. Kofi manages to dump Cesaro from the ring and it's a hot tag to Xavier "Zack Ryder" Woods who kicks at Tyson and hits an Enzuguri on Cesaro. Adam Rose gets up on the mat. Woods swings at him and misses. Tyson tries a roll-up but Woods kicks out, tags Kofi, and they hit the Demolition Decapitation 11th Hour or whatever to win at 5:03.
WINNERS: The New Day
RATING: *1/2. Picture a world where the better tag team jobs to three never-will-bes. Seriously. 

Smackdown is gonna move to Thursday. So here's a commercial starring that epic tag team, New Day.

DANIELLE: Who's the guy on the left?
MATT: Xavier Woods.
DANIELLE: Oh. Ok.

The Indianapolis Colts apparently do a homage to Ric Flair after their games. Somewhere Flair's like, "Yeah, no..."

Big Show is out to talk. He says that things come easy to him. He says he beat Hulk Hogan for the World Heavyweight Championship on his first day with WCW. Because it was easy. He yacks about how awesome he is. And Roman Reigns sucks. Like the Knicks. Who don't play in Louisiana. But, whatever. He will beat Roman Reigns. Because he's a loser. And so is everyone who likes him.

That brings out Roman Reigns. Big Show bails from the ring. Reigns asks where Show is going. He says he thought he wasn't "a threat". Reigns says he was all of 12 years old when that happened. He says he heard a story when he was a kid: Roman says he was little and had magic beans. He planted those beans and it grew a giant beanstalk. Reigns climbed up and found a goose that laid golden eggs. And then he found a Giant. He beat up the Giant. He says that the Giant run away, probing that he was a coward and a loser. Show's not happy with this at all.

Out comes Luke Harper. Show heads down to the ring with him.

MATCH #3: Roman Reigns vs. Luke Harper (w/ Big Show)
Harper and Reigns battle in the corner and Reigns hits the Samoan Drop. Reigns goes for a Superman Punch but, fuck that, this match is worth at least seven minutes or so, so let's do a commercial break. When we come back, Harper's using mild gouges and stomps to torment Reigns. Reigns, however, counters a suplex with a Powerslam. Two count. He rushes Harper but Harper knocks him down, sends him outside and tosses him into the stairs. Back in the ring, Harper hits a Reverse Senton for two. Harper puts in a side headlock which Reigns breaks. Harper nails him in the throat, but Reigns comes roaring back with lariats and clothesline. He hits two corner clothelines and a neckbreaker and gets a two-count. Reigns tries a Samoan Drop but Harper escapes and counters with a Big Boot for two. Reigns comes back with a side slam for two. Reigns goes for a Superman Punch but Show distracts im. Harper hits a Spinning Sidewalk Slam for two. We continue on as Reigns manages to get up and hits a Superman Punch and a Sitting Dropkick from outside. Reigns gets back inside but gets distracted again by Show. Superkick by Harper. He sets up for a big move but Reigns hits a Spear for the win at 10:42.
WINNER: Roman Reigns
RATING: **. Roman Reigns isn't doing a thing for me. Not one damn thing.

Post-match -- SURPRISE! Big Show comes in and destroys Reigns, nailing him with a KO Punch.

TONIGHT: Daniel Bryan is here.

We see Jimmy talking to Naomi backstage as we go to break.

The Miz and Miz-dow are backstage. Miz talks Richard Linklater's "Boyhood". Miz mentions that Miz-dow has been making a movie just like it. Miz-dow confirms it's the same kinda film and it's called "Manhood". It's debuting soon. Miz is incredulous as Miz-dow Spock Eyebrows the fuck out of him. I wonder if Vince lives on the souls of exhausted writers.


MATCH #4: Alicia Fox vs. Naomi in a Handicap Match (Naomi has her arm tied behind her back)
Fox taunts Naomi until Naomi kicks the shit out of her with one arm. The Usos watch from backstage because this that important. Apparently, they're not allowed at ringside. Fox comes back with a spinning backbreaker for two.  Fox puts her in the corner and tries to rush her but Naomi boots her and hits clotheslines. Fox ends up outside the ropes and Naomi hits a beautiful high kick, then runs Fox's head into the mat. Back in the ring, Naomi tries to follow up but Fox kicks her in the face and hits a Scissor Kick for the win at 3:33.
WINNER: Alicia Fox
RATING: 1/4 of a *. 

Post-match, Miz saves Naomi from a beat-down. Just kidding. None of that happened because WWE totally forgot that storyline even happened.

The Psych Dude is with Ambrose and says that they're gonna do a visual game where he shows Ambrose pics and he tells the psych what he thinks. AMBROSE: THURSDAY!!! For some reason, Hacksaw Jim Duggan is in the pile of pics. Ambrose does the "hooooooo" catchphrase, then repeats it when he sees Steph's pic.

We get a nice shot of Bourbon Street as we continue.

Paul Heyman and Brock Lesnar head to the ring to speak. Heyman says that it's nice to return to the scene of the crime when, 282 days ago, Lesnar ended the Undertaker's streak. Heyman says Lesnar doesn't brag because he's achieved so much that no other man has achieved. Heyman reminds everyone that Lesnar was the man who ended the Undertaker's streak. He loves that it still bothers the fans. It just makes him want to brag about it more. He says the idea that the Undertaker's streak is "immortal" is just a fantasy, just like Cena's motto and the idea that Seth Rollins is "the future of WWE". Heyman says that tonight is the contract signing for the Triple Threat match at the Royal Rumble and Lesnar will remind everyone what reality is.

TONIGHT: Randy Savage is to be anounced as the next WWE HOF Inductee. 

In another bit, The Usos and Miz's imitate the "OH YEEEEAH" bit. Nikki does a sexy version of it and then argues with her sister because that's what I wanna see. Cena does his version and Kane won't even try. MORAL: SAYING, "OH YEEEEAH!" like the Macho Man is really really really hard to do!

MATCH #5: The Miz (w/ Damien Miz-dow) vs. Jey (w/ Jimmy)
Jey slams Miz and hits a cross body and Samoan Drop. Rikishi Splash gets two. Miz fights back and tries the Figure Four. Jey counters with a roll-up for two. Miz-dow gets into the ring to pull on Miz for some reason. Jimmy stops him. Jey gets the SCF from Miz for the win at 2:10.
WINNER: The Miz
RATING: DUD. The match was shorter and worse than the Divas match that preceded it. That should tell you something.

Cole tells us that the UK is getting the WWE Network.

NEXT: Daniel Bryan is here.

Daniel Bryan is out for his spot. He says that there's something familiar about this. Something happened last time he was in New Orleans. He became the World Heavyweight Champion. He says that history will repeat itself.

But enough of that: here's Steph. She somehow fits in a plug for her FIT Series. It's only $9.9--oh, no. That's that other thing. Steph says that Daniel Bryan is right: he beat Triple H and then he went on to win the big title...but, then, reality came crashing down. We see clips of Kane kicking the snot out of Bryan for a whole month.

Steph says that winners and champions get to the top and stay there. Bryan didn't do that. Steph says that Bryan's fans still believe in him. Brie believes in him and so does his "unborn Boxtroll children" believe in him. Steph asks if he truly believes he can do this again. Guess what the answer is. He tells Steph that doing the "YES" chant is better than her workout DVD, then does the Hacksaw "Hoooooo" chant. He says he will never stop fighting and neither will the fans. He says that Steph and The Authority will be proven wrong. Again.

Steph says that he's not listening to reason and, so, his first match will be on Smackdown and it will be against Kane as Cole pretends that Kane is still dangerous as hell. Kane walks to the ring and Bryan attacks him. He gets his licks in before Kane deposits him into the stairs and stomps at him. Kane sets up the bottom half of the stairs and removes his jacket and tie. He tries a Tombstone but Bryan fights back and punches away at Kane. Refs show up and stop Bryan but Bryan hits a Flying Knee and keeps attacking. Bryan gets back into the ring. Kane tries to get in but Bryan hits the Flying Goat as the refs, once again, peel him off of Kane. Bryan celebrates as we go backstage...

Rollins is bragging about his win earlier -- then bumps into Brock Lesnar. Lesnar says he's just a weasel. Lesnar says Rollins' "future" starts when he says it starts. Heyman shows up separate them. Heyman says that what Rollins did tonight was impressive. But he's talking to Brock Lesnar. Perhaps Rollins can work with them in the future. The two just stare each other down.

TONIGHT: The contract signing.

MATCH #6: Paige (w/ Natalya & Tyson Kidd) vs. Brie Bella (w/ Nikki)
Paige hits Brie with a forearm but Brie fights back and his a dropkick. Two count. Chinlock by Brie. Toss. Chinlock #2 by Brie. Paige comes back with headbutts and a Superkick. Two count. Tyson gets into the ring to distract...somebody. I guess. Brie rolls Paige up for the win at 2:09.
WINNER: Brie Bella
RATINGS: DUD. So, Nattie and Paige are friends because of Total Divas and are heels going against Nikki who is also a heel. Tyson, a heel, distracts nobody at all during a match Paige was winning and Paige loses even though Tyson was on Paige's side. You know what? I'm apparently the only one that cares here.

Post-match, Paige slaps Tyson. Nattie just smirks.

Holy shit, we're recapping the Ambulance Match from last week.

Bray spot: he says whatever he does next will shock everybody. Some goofy talk. Run.

Cole finally announces that the Macho Man is the first inductee into the 2015 WWE Hall of Fame. This is the best part of the show. It's almost undone by the fact that Hulk Hogan will be inducting him. This is against the law...right? RIGHT???

MATCH #7: The Ascension (Konnor & Viktor) vs. Two random dudes
A bunch of bullshit and then The Fall of Man. Done.
WINNERS: The Ascension
RATING: DUD. You know you've failed as a tag team when the most intimidating line in your promo is, "We're better than the Road Warriors!"

Backstage, Ambrose is the shrink and the shrink is Ambrose. The shrink is crying as Ambrose tricks him into signing his release to WWE.

Cena lost tonight. Ambrose is wrapped up in Santino-ville. Roman Reigns is stuck with Big Show. This is really, really ugly.

NEXT WEEK: An arbitrary "RAW Reunion" with Hulk Hogan, Shawn Michaels, Ric Flair and Scott Hall.

Lana says Ryback should have faced Rusev tonight. Then insults Ryback. And Cena. Because nothing gets a crowd going like reminding them that Creative's booking sucks. Rusev has the mic and he goes on and on.

That brings out Ambrose. He enters the ring and clubs at Rusev, then dropkicks him from the ring. We go to break because nobody wants to see THAT! AMIRITE?

MATCH #8: Dean Ambrose vs. WWE United States Champion Rusev (w/ Lana) (non-title)
It's a match now. Rusev in control. He hits a Bulldog. He tries to leap at Rusev but Rusev rushes him in the corner and Ambrose ends up landing badly and clutching his knee. Rusev beats on the knee, then puts Ambrose in the corner, working on the knee there. He tries to run at Ambrose's knee but Ambrose moves and tries a Tornado DDT. Rusev just tosses him aside and goes after him but Ambrose rolls him up and NEARLY gets a three-count. Rusev tries a Fallaway Slam but Ambrose lands on his feet, then does a Rebound Clothesline. Clothesline off the top rope and it's a near pinfall by Ambrose. Booker calls that "Shades of Randy Savage" even though Savage never really did that ever, but who cares? Savage is in the Hall of Fame. Rusev works on Ambrose's leg and the ref calls the fucking match?! Are we fucking serious???
WINNER: Rusev
RATING: DUD. Why? WHY??? Somebody explain why we just jobbed Ambrose to Rusev. Seriously. Ambrose has looked weak for nearly three months. IT'S OK FOR RUSEV TO TAKE A LOSS.

NEXT: The contract signing.

ON SMACKDOWN: Daniel Bryan vs. Kane

Triple H and Steph are in the ring with the contract. Steph brings out Seth Rollins who comes out with J&J Security. Triple H welcomes John Cena. Last, but not least, Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman. Heyman has a mic and he says that Rollins is an architect. He brought back The Authority. He had a plan. That plan was endorsed by Paul Heyman. It was needed by The Authority because it was bad for John Cena. That's good for Brock Lesnar. And that's Best for Business.

Rollins thanks Heyman -- but Heyman says he wasn't done. He says that Lesnar has run over everyone in his path. Rollins laughs and asks Heyman if he's upset that this is a Triple Threat Match. Heyman says he IS upset. Lesnar doesn't have to lose the match. Rollins asks the question again and Heyman tries to answer. Rollins: "I am not FINISHED YET." He says he built The Shield and killed it. He brought The Authority back and, because of him, three men are fired. It doesn't matter if it's Plan A or Plan B, he's watlking out as WWE Champion.

Rollins signs the contract. Lesnar has the mic and says he conquered the Undertaker and Cena and Triple H. He will conquer Rollins. Cena interrupts and says Lesnar doesn't have to lose the match. Cena says he also owes Rollins a beatdown. Him and Lesnar will kick Rollins' ass, then he will kick Lesnar's ass. Cena signs the contract. Rollins scoffs at this and mocks Cena's "plan". He says that Cena's plans suck. He couldn't even save his friends. Tonight was Strike 2. The Royal Rumble will be Strike 3.

Cena rushes him. Lesnar hits a German on Cena. Rollins attacks Lesnar. Cena hits an AA on Lesnar through the table. Rollins comes into the ring and attacks Cena, then hits a Curb Stomp. He does the same to Lesnar and stands tall.

But enough of that. Let's see a trailer for the Macho Man documentary on WWE Network.

When we come back, Lesnar looks at Rollins who is standing on the entrance ramp.

With that, we're done.

OVERALL: **. Another so-so show. A slight improvement over last week but, after last week's abortion of a show, I was expecting a lot more than this.

Er...that's it.

I am the new RAW guy, it seems. I will be back next week. Andy PG is doing Main Event tomorrow. We've got retro stuff from Bayless and Scott. NXT and Smackdown will be brought to you by Tommy Hall.

Thank you to all the BoD'ers and, hey, if you wanna read more of our stuff, visit WE HATE YOUR GIMMICK at http://wehateyourgimmick.blogspot.com and, of course, visit us on Facebook at https://www.facebook.com/groups/wehateyourgimmick/.

Comments

  1. Bless you son, for watching Raw so others don't have to.

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  2. I take it Reigns will be doing a Samoan drop on Big Show some time in the near future, because the only way a guy can get over is by picking up the biggest guy on the roster and slamming him.

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  3. I really hate that Ziggler and friends are entirely dependant on Cena to get their jobs back. I'd much rather the three of them just jumped the barrier in street clothes at the Rumble and caused mayhem, rather than sitting at home looking at their online banking and searching for jobs, planning for the future just in case daddy Cena can't get them rehired.

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  4. Is there a good reason why Rollins wouldn't cash in right after Brock took an AA through the table and a Curbstomp?

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  5. Probably doesn't want to have to defend against Cena and Brock in two weeks.

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  6. "Overlooking Paella" is the one of the best phrases ever stated.

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  7. Worst_in_the_WorldJanuary 13, 2015 at 5:32 AM

    So dean Ambrose spent all night doing bad comedy segments and then jobbed, huh? Because he's a goddamn COMEDY JOBBER. Can we just all agree he's the new Santino?

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  8. No. We haven't lost the original Santino yet.

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  9. Why? The show was much better than his recap suggests.

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  10. No, we can't all agree with your warped, fictitious world view.

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  11. I didn't really see much of the show last night, but what I did see was underwhelming to say the least. Cena/Rollins should be one of the biggest matches that they have but it had zero sense of excitement. And Rollins needs new music. And to not talk much at all.

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  12. "Somebody explain why we just jobbed Ambrose to Rusev. Seriously.
    Ambrose has looked weak for nearly three months. IT'S OK FOR RUSEV TO
    TAKE A LOSS."



    So you take your undefeated US Champion and job him out in a nothing match on a Raw that will get terrible ratings because of the National Championship game? Holy balls are you that freaking dense? Just stop recapping.

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  13. But if they caused mayhem then Cena might get a vote of no confidence!

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  14. He got a great reaction when he came out and interrupted Rusev, and fought hard even though he was obviously injured. He wasn't going to stay down even if it cost him permanent damage, so the ref stopped it even though Ambrose was telling him to back off, he was fine to keep going. And then Rusev lays out an injured man, because he's a dirty heel. This is a classic wrestling story, and I don't think what Ambrose did was close to "jobbing".

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  15. Make of it what you will, but Ambrose's last televised singles pinfall victory was back on November 3rd against Antonio Cesaro.

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  16. Didn't he beat Bray at Tribute to the Troops?

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  17. Minus 4 smark cred.

    Plus 20 everywhere else

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  18. Son of bitch. That'll teach me to only look at Raw, Smackdowns and PPVs.

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  19. "MATCH #8: WWE United States Champion Dean Ambrose vs. Rusev (w/ Lana) (non-title)"

    ...when did Ambrose with the U.S. championship?

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  20. Don't feel bad, I only remembered because I was surprised to read the result as an Ambrose victory.

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  21. TIMEANDTHERANI IS A BASTARD MAN!!

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  22. I was sure people had been saying he'd jobbed in every match to Wyatt too. Oh well. Good for Dean!

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  23. im glad for him too. I feel like he really needed that win. His confidence had to be shaken.

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  24. Damn when the sax kicks in during The Gunners Dream it's enough to bring tears to my eyes! Highlight of Final Cut.

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  25. This post may as well be written in a foreign language for as much of it as I understand.

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  26. Sweet I know three languages now!

    Artist: Pink Floyd
    Album: Final Cut
    Song: Gunners Dream
    Emotion: Happy
    Me: Sleepy and nonsensical.

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  27. I could never sit through three hours of Raw. I don't know how anyone does it. Just way too long.

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  28. I was just thinking that you must sleep as little as I do because you check out around the same time I dod and are right back here in the morning... or course you are on the wrong coast aren't you?

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  29. Did you like the new album? I haven't heard it.

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  30. I'm on the right coast if that's what you mean. Best of the West Daddy-o!

    Yeah I didn't sleep much tonight. I watched the College Football National Championship, then the post game shenanigans, then the replay of the game, then fell asleep for a couple hours before a text message woke me up. Now I'm plotting the demise of the texter.

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  31. I haven't listened to it yet either actually. I've liked the Gilmour led stuff so I don't know why I haven't listened to it yet.

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  32. I love that commercial for the mobile game Clash of Clans where the little guy takes an arrow to the face and a cannonball to the gut and flies slow mo through the air. Mainly for the Dylan song in the background. It's nice.

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  33. I don't understand why Rusev would lose to Anbrose aftercAnbriae looking like shit for 3 months, but I love what you do with Raw. Didn't like the forced joke with Danielle and New Day. Those interactions really detract from your all around review, but I still thought it was better than AndyPG. Keep up the work. I'm proud of you. Moving on up kid!

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  34. The difference between Bryan & Reigns could be more drastic.


    And it's really simple: Bryan's himself. He's (mostly - I mean it is scripted) an organic character. He's comfortable which helps him be more charismatic. His motivation is he's trying to achieve something. He actually has a heel (Stephanie) who is working 100% as a heel who is trying to foil him. Oh, and he's a pretty damn good in-ring performer.


    Reigns couldn't be more contrived at this point and he couldn't look more uncomfortable. He has to loathe this Cena-lite character they're pushing him towards. I guess you could say Big Show is a legit heel, but Big Show has flipped heel/face so many times he just doesn't get heat, period, so you have a face who's losing steam and a heel who couldn't have less heat. And, Reigns is still far too green in the ring for the push he's about to get and the people watching know it on some level.


    They are literally insane if stick with Reigns over Bryan, or they're so delusional about their belief that they know what people want that they're willing to sabotage their biggest event of the year to not prove the point, but to prevent themselves from being proven wrong.


    As for Reigns, you want to get him over? The only other person with as much heel heat as Stephanie in the company is Rusev. Run Reigns/Rusev at Wrestlemania. Have Reigns stop cutting these promos and go back to basics. He'll get over fine.

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  35. It's a classic wrestling story that ends with Ambrise losing in a comedic fashion like he's been doing for months. Because he is a comedy jobber.

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  36. It's a mostly instrumental album and a pretty tranquil affair; a nice coda for the band.

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  37. Raw is so bad right now I don't even feel like arguinibg with people who try to say it's good. They are just obviously trolling. This is not a good form of entertainment right now. I will not be reupping for Rumble and hell, I may not even get Mania. I DONT HAVE TO WATCH! They can't make me.

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  38. I guess opinions may differ. It didn't feel particularly comedic to me...the announcers, to my recollection, weren't doing a giggling "look at that wacky Dean Ambrose" schtick....they were doing the serious tone "the ref has to stop this for his own good." Jobber he may be, but I personally didn't see a comedy aspect.

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  39. The comedy part was when they stopped it, "for his own good." They never do that and it was unwarranted here. Another example of how can we make Dean look lke this week.

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  40. Just wait until you see him pick up Big Show at some point. That will get him say over with the fans.

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  41. watched for about an hour last night. It was terrible. Went to bed. Even the DB/Steph segment seemed more about shilling her workout DVD then pushing the story along.

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  42. Positivelydanimal?

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  43. Matt_INDEED!! (Back from the DJanuary 13, 2015 at 7:17 AM

    I have nothing to say about the show because I watched my Buckeyes beat the poop out of Oregon last night and could give less than 1/2 of a turd about Raw right now.

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  44. "Raw is so bad right now I don't even feel like arguing with people who try to say it's good. They are just obviously trolling."

    Disagree with me = troll. Got it.

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  45. Beat the poop out of them? Like they literally defecated do to the beating they received?

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  46. Matt_INDEED!! (Back from the DJanuary 13, 2015 at 7:20 AM

    Yes. The Ducks had poo pants.


    I feel like John Cena without the handtowels.

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  47. Well you could be more like him one day if you... NEVER GIVE UP

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  48. This is bigger than when Hogan slammed Andre at Wrestlemania III MAGGLE!

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  49. I actually kind of liked that. That was some quality trolling by her and he fired off a decent line mocking it.

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  50. And to that point, she's a much better/more effective heel by herself when she's just kind of meddling.


    The tandem Triple H/Authority promos just drain the life out of everything.

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  51. I really don't find trolling entertaining, not when I know there's no real comeuppance on it's way.

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  52. Well, yeah, that's true.

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  53. I found myself wondering if she deliberately picked her highest heels so she'd be taller than Bryan.

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  54. HowmuchdoesthisguyweighJanuary 13, 2015 at 7:42 AM

    Good review but have to disagree.... It would not be ok for Rusev to lose. Not yet.

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  55. C'mon art, thats not cannon.

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  56. See, I thought it got Rusev good heel heat, and made him look like a vicious bully. If you're telling a PG story, that's an easy character for fans to boo. And despite his recent losses Ambrose got a good reaction when he came out, plus he had vignettes throughout the show. I don't think the live crowds think he's being buried the way a lot of folks here do.

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  57. Ah ok, I have missed a few weeks thought maybe I didn't know about it or something.

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  58. So Raw is objectively good these days?

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  59. As I've said before: Big Show changes alignment so whover they want over can lift him up, he is kept around to BE dead-weight.

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  60. He just likes to troll me. If you pay attention to his posts he just bullies everyone. his whole gimmick is that he's better than everyone else here. He's a monster.

    ReplyDelete
  61. What is WITH Roman Reigns and these shitty anecdotal promos? They get worse and worse. Not blaming him but the silly writers scripting this crap.

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  62. The best chance for getting Reigns over is to turn him heel and give him Heyman for a mouthpiece. Assuming that Lesnar is gone after WM, Reigns would be the perfect fit for the next "Heyman guy." Plus, it keeps Reigns away from the mic, which is increasingly key to getting him over.

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  63. Those live crowds still watch at home. It's easy to pop for something when you're there. Then you watch him make a fool of himself and you care a little less each time. The pops for AMBROSE are nowhere near where they were when he was feuding with ROLLINS.

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  64. I read the blog almost every day, but I don't pay a lot of attention to the personalities of individual posters. There are a few with distinct personalities, obviously, but the product is so fucking bad these days that it even makes the comments section homogeneous. Hell, even VJ can't bring himself to play Devil's Advocate for this garbage.

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  65. We're the Mounties!

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  66. Blech. It's sad that the state of wrestling is so bad, that the blog has to entertain itself with shitty memes. Sign of the times, I guess.

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  67. Harsh. But I'll forgive you because you have O&A in your avatar.

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  68. Cena wins belt at the Rumble. Authority gets mad. Says the only way they can get the belt off Cena is to bring back Randy Orton to the authority.

    WRESTLEMANIA 31:
    -Orton (c) vs Cena - The FINAL ENCOUNTER. If Cena wins title, Authority must disband forever. If Orton retains, Cena must retire.
    -Two on one handicap match, Steph's hair vs Bryan's beard: HHH and Stephanie vs Daniel Bryan.
    -Roman Reigns and Dolph Ziggler vs Seth Rollins and Big Show
    -Undertaker vs Bray Wyatt
    -BATTLE ROYALE!!!!
    -U.S. Title, Rusev vs High Flying Kofi Kingston
    -10 Divas tag match

    DREAM F'N CARD. SMELL THE BUYRATE.

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  69. Not really directed at you. I guess I'm still bitter that the goddamn 2-day champ Mountie beat 2-year champ Pedro Morales in the IC tourney.


    Again, an obvious sign of the times: WWE is so unwatchable that I have to waste my wrestling passion on the "booking" of fictitious fan-vote tournament.

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  70. Steph is actually the bigger beard in that match. Gotta like her chances.

    I also feel that WM31 will feature at least a 25 minute infomercial for the Steph HHH work out tape.

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  71. Sign of the times.

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  72. It happens all the time. Hell, it happened like 2 weeks ago when they stopped the Piper-Rick McGraw match.

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  73. Worst_in_the_WorldJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:18 AM

    Raw is completely terrible right now. No?

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  74. Frankly the pops for everyone are getting kind of anemic these days. Bryan is pretty much the only one to escape it by virtue of having been gone, but the 50/50 booking has neutered everybody. It's funny...a lot of people have pushed for them to bring back jobbers for squash matches, but right now it's a whole company of jobbers. Rollins has jobbed out to Cena a bunch of times, Luke Harper loses a match for every one he wis, Barret won the IC title then jobbed to Sin Cara. Guys are eating pins left and right. Every match is a loser versus a loser, so when someone wins, who cares? It's so backwards from the way they used to book. No one is protected anymore. Ambrose is just a symptom of a much larger and more pervasive problem.

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  75. Exactly. Costing a guy his heat with a burial doesn't happen overnight. It takes a couple of months of consistently horrendous booking. Which is the only thing WWE does consistently well these days.

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  76. Worst_in_the_WorldJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:22 AM

    No you're right ol' Dino has looked awesome these last few months doing Nickelodean pranks, getting foiled by ghosts and TV sets, and losing every match he's in. Yup, obviously he's a big star and not a comedy jobber.

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  77. Worst_in_the_WorldJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:23 AM

    He did comedy segments all night, got his ass kicked cleanly by the heel and was declared the loser. He loses every match he's in.


    Short of having him get beat by Divas and midgets what else are they supposed to do to this guy to prove he's a fucking comedy jobber?

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  78. The material absolutely stinks, but his "methodical," halting style of speech just accentuates how fucking bad it is. He's like a less charismatic John Kerry, if such a beast exists.

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  79. Worst_in_the_WorldJanuary 13, 2015 at 8:25 AM

    Well like they're building Roman as the next cena even while Cena is around, they're also building Ambrose as the next Santino before Santino is totally gone. WWE building for the future!

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  80. LOYALTY - HUSTLE - RESPECT - MAKE POOP JOKES

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  81. I love that Bryan match. Not even trying to be funny.

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  82. I didn't say that. I just said your views are warped and fictitious due to a possible undiagnosed mental illness. You need help dude. stop dealing in hyperbole and absolutes, reality isn't at all like you imagine.

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  83. Well that's as honest of an answer as I've ever heard. Appreciated.

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  84. It just occurred to me...Ambrose is Zack Ryder. How dare he get over on his own.

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  85. Reigns is like a guy who took a few acting classes and is trying to work what he learned in. Which would be fine if this was ROH and he had an audience that knew he was working the kinks out, but this is the big time, major TV show. He's in a terrible position.

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  86. That commercial is great. I wish the game was half that fun.

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  87. We need to move these workout DVDs. Let's have Steph shill it as a heel. Then let's have our top babyface make a joke about how useless the DVD is. Sam Goody will have to go back into business just to help us with the sales volume!

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  88. "I bought the DVD just to watch Stephanie looking HOT"

    -Vince

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  89. Randal Graves and Vince Russo: Evil video store clerks to guest host Raw and dissuade everyone from renting/owning the workout DVD. SMELL THE RATINGS!

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  90. Yeah, I've been exhausted so I'll miss something here and there. Will fix.

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  91. It's basically "Pink Floyd Makes a Meditation Album".

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  92. If it's a "nothing match", then Rusev won't suffer, will he?

    I will stop recapping because you told me to. Thanks for that.

    ReplyDelete
  93. No. No, it wasn't. It was the same dull dreck we've been watching. But, it was a slight improvement over last week, so...

    ReplyDelete
  94. Uh, Rollins was killing it on the mic. What are you talking about?

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  95. Hopefully Hall has a chaperone of some kind next week (MAYBE TRIPLE H), because I wouldn't leave him alone with Ric Flair.

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  96. Okay, fantasy booking the main event:


    Rollins and Cena double team Lesnar at the Rumble like they did last night, only this time it backfires. Either Rollins or Cena gets pinned after Rollins either double crosses Cena or Cena makes a mistake that leaves Rollins alone with Lesnar.


    Boom, Lesnar goes to Mania, Bryan as his opponent.

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  97. >IT'S OK FOR RUSEV TO TAKE A LOSS.


    No, it's not. Especially not on a match with zero buildup. Since they've built up Rusev for almost a year, his first loss has to be a big deal.

    ReplyDelete
  98. Rusev absolutely would suffer since part of is aura is that he's never lost despite the buildup of people who have vowed to take him down

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  99. I didnt think this show was that bad. The first hour was slow but it got better after that.

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  100. It can be sudden. It can be shocking. Everyone drops one some time.

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  101. No, I tend to agree. It was an improvement over last week's show. The ending was a little better and set up the big match at the RR well. I just think this show's stuck in a rut.

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  102. No, it really can't be. If you've built up an undefeated streak, the ending has to mean something. Jobbing him on a RAW match put together at the last minute is not the way to do it.

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  103. I get what you're getting at...but Bo Dallas had a "streak" which ended suddenly. WWE just had no idea what to do with him once that happened.

    Rusev could have dropped it to Ambrose -- especially after Ambrose has been semi-buried twice.in his feuds with Rollins and Wyatt. Rusev still would have been the champion and the loss would have made him more dangerous. Have him show up in matches and destroy random Superstars. Make him more ruthless.

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  104. I like being called "kid". Makes me feel young. You get a cookie. :)

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  105. If he's going to lose, it needs to be a huge deal. Assuming he's not winning the RR....that has to be a big deal. You can't just job him on a nothing RAW match.


    They shouldn't have booked the match to begin with obviously

    ReplyDelete
  106. I agree with you there. The match was kinduva throwaway.

    I feel like the argument starting with "You can't just job him on..." is going to be utilized a lot. I could say that of the RR and even WM 31. That's probably just me, though.

    ReplyDelete
  107. I didn't see the ending, so I can't comment, but in general he doesn't come across well when he talks.

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  108. Daniel Bryan vs Kane for real? At this point there isn't any reason for me to keep bitching about this. I feel myself caring less and less by the day.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Fat, Ugly Inner-City SweathogJanuary 13, 2015 at 10:59 AM

    So. Bad.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Well they better act soon. I'm super bored with the character, the "story" whatever it is, and his matches.

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  111. Suffer how. Is he a draw even a little bit?

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  112. No, no it wasn't. It just wasn't what you wanted it to be.

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  113. I'm not too mad at them for that, if you want a guy to be working with after coming off a major injury, a safe worker like Kane would be near the top of the list.....not for aesthetic purposes mind you, but I don't mind them building him up a little bit.

    ReplyDelete
  114. Well, I'm glad you're here to tell me about reality, Morpheus.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Plus it's just Smackdown. A big Smackdown, but Smackdown. Even Punk said that Kane is super easy to work with. So it's a good way to get some ring rust off and maybe. MAYBE. actually resolve a story, since Kane was the one who kayfabe injured Bryan.

    ReplyDelete

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