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The SmarK Rant for Royal Rumble 2015

The SmarK Rant for WWE Royal Rumble 2015

Live from Philadelphia, PA, home of ECW and King of the Ring 95.

Your hosts are Michael Cole, JBL & Jerry Lawler

The New Age Outlaws v. The Ascension

The circle of life continues, as the Outlaws originally got themselves over by busting on the LOD, and now they’re the old fogies defending the honor of the previous fogies. On the bright side, the Ascension can always say they lasted longer than the Public Enemy. Apparently we’re supposed to use “#tagteamtitles” for this match, which probably earned Cole a stern yelling. The crowd lets the NAO know that they’ve still got it, which is a very generous assessment of their talents. The Outlaws work Konor over and Dogg drops the knee while JBL tells the tale of Bob Armstrong v. Buddy Colt. Bradshaw is so fucking old now. Dogg gets caught in the corner and pounded as we’re already well over the point of exposure for these clowns. Speaking of exposure, closeups of Billy Gunn’s face in HD in 2015 is a BAD IDEA. We get some chinlocks on Dogg until he fights them off and gets the hot tag to Billy, but the fameasser misses and the Fall of Man finishes at 5:22. Shit match to start the show and really the supposed world-beating monsters should have obliterated the old geezers. ½*

Meanwhile, after two commercials and a RAW recap, HHH and Stephanie ponder the whereabouts of Sting. Apparently the crap he got away with in WCW won’t fly here. I bet he used to rappel in and just use ice packs WHENEVER HE WANTED. Fucker. Paul Heyman interrupts and offers Brock as the solution to their problems.

WWE tag titles: The Usos v. The Miz & Mizdow

Finally, a fresh matchup! Mizdow is of course over huge as a babyface. The Usos double-team Miz to start and we get the wacky Mizdow stuff, which Cole makes sure to explain in detail to kill the joke. Miz necks Jimmy on the middle rope to take over and goes to the chinlock while teasing a tag with Mizdow. Backbreaker gets two. It's really weird that they’ve actually corrupted the original joke so much, in that Miz was originally trying to avoid doing any work and has now shifted to doing ALL the work himself, which is a point they’ve never made for some reason. Miz showboats and allows Jimmy to tag out to Jey, but Miz rolls him up for two. Short DDT gets two. Jey comes back with an enzuigiri to put Miz on the floor, but Miz sacrifices Mizdow to block a dive. Back in, Jey misses the flying splash and Miz gets two. Jey superkicks him and hits another splash, but Mizdow saves. Skull Crushing Finale gets two, although Mizdow hit the move so it might not have had all the impact it should. Miz and Jey fight on the top, which results in a top rope powerbomb and splash to retain at 9:23. Finish was really flat, as the match built weird with the Miz-Mizdow stuff screwing up the tag formula. Good action otherwise. **3/4

Meanwhile, J&J Security play video games in the back like a couple of lazy millennials, annoying Seth Rollins.

The Bella Twins v. Paige & Natalya

Apparently this is stemming from something on Total Divas. I’m guessing Paige turned babyface at some point? Because reasons? Frankly I’m still not even clear on why the Bellas are back together in the first place. The Bellas work Nat over as the commentary is already getting derailed into stupidity, before the match even has a chance to die. Paige and Natalya with a double suplex on Brie for two and then the crowd gets bored and starts chanting for Sami Zayn. Nattie gets worked over in the corner while Cole recaps the thrilling storyline on Total Divas. Because I’m sure all the 40 year old housewives watching that show decided to order Royal Rumble. Not to mention they basically ignore 90% of the show anyway. We get a whole bunch of chinlocks on Nattie and a sad spot with Brie yelling “Brie mode!” before hitting a running knee for two, as no one cares about what Brie Mode is. More chinlocks and Nikki misses a blind charge, but Brie trips Paige off the apron and Nikki pins Nattie off a forearm at 8:18. THAT was the finish? *

Yay, more commercials.

WWE World title: Brock Lesnar v. John Cena v. Seth Rollins

The crowd gloriously resurrects singing “John Cena sucks” in time with his music and then gives Brock a hero’s welcome by contrast. Brock immediately suplexes Cena and then takes out J&J to get at Rollins. So everyone gets suplexed multiple times and Brock tries the kimura on Cena, but Cena powers out. FU on Brock and Rollins gets one off that, but Brock just dumps both guys and we head to the floor. Back in, Cena comes back on Rollins, but sadly Lesnar is in fact able to see John and kills him with another suplex. Rollins dumps Brock and Cena slams Rollins for two, but Seth comes back with a Blockbuster for two. Rollins gets rid of Cena, but dives at Brock and gets caught in an F5 for two. Well that was ill-advised. Brock preps the table, but walks into three straight FUs, which gets two for Cena. Rollins with the curbstomp for two on Lesnar. Brock takes a breather and Cena tackles him through the barricade and then sends him into the stairs. Come on, you have to freeze him and then dump him in molten metal to really finish him off. So Rollins puts him on the announce table and drops an elbow from the top rope onto him as this match turns into a complete video game. In the best way, of course. Back in, Rollins cradles Cena for two and superkicks him for two. Cena comes back with a powerbomb for two while Heyman screams for a doctor. Cena and Rollins fight on the top, and Seth brings him down with a powerbomb into the opposite turnbuckles, for two. Cena reverses the curbstomp into the STF, but J&J make the save. Triple powerbomb on Cena gets two. Cena gets rid of Rollins and does his customary beating on J&J while Brock gets put on a stretcher, and the FU gets two on Rollins. Slugfest and Rollins gets an enzuigiri and curbstomp for two. And then Brock makes a miracle comeback, destroys both guys with suplexes, and F5s Rollins to retain at 22:40. So yeah, I guess we’re getting Brock v. Reigns. Thankfully the match delivered what the crowd wanted and showed Seth could hang on the main event stage. ****1/2

Royal Rumble:

Miz is #1 and R-Truth is #2. Oh man, the final explosion of Awesome Truth! They fight on the apron early and Truth gets a leg lariat, but goes up and gets crotched…and Bubba Ray Dudley is #3. He’s looking a bit fatter than his TNA run. Bubba and Truth debut the What’s Up Drop and Bubba sends Truth to get the tables. And then they hit Miz with 3D and toss him at 4:00. Luke Harper is #4 as Bubba tosses Truth at 4:15. Bray Wyatt is #5 and thankfully cuts his entrance short, and the Wyatt Family reunites to beat up Bubba. The crowd wants D-Von, but Bubba is thrown out at 6:57. Well so much for that. Bray and Luke decide to team up as Curtis Axel is #6. And Rowan emerges to destroy him and take his place, and we get a three-way Wyatt fight. You have to be pretty low on the totem pole to get punked out by Rowan. Bray tosses both Wyatt geeks at 8:50 anyway to clear the ring. Boogeyman is #7. Really? This is the bottom of the barrel we’re scraping for surprise appearances now? So Bray quickly tosses this loser at 11:05. Sin Cara is #8 as the parade of jobbers continues. Cara gets some offense but walks into Sister Abigail and gets tossed at 12:18. Bray stops to preach to us and Zack Ryder is #9. Apparently Zack has been out with surgery for months. How would we ever know the difference? Zack gets his sad offensive flurry and then gets tossed at 14:01. Daniel Bryan is #10 as we finally get star power here. Bryan immediately runs wild on Bray with dropkicks in the corner and goes up with a rana as Fandango is #11. The New and Improved Fandango! Or is that a thing still? Bryan headkicks him into an airplane spin, but can’t get him out. Tyson Kidd is #12 and gets to run wild on everyone, but collides with Bryan and everyone is out. Stardust is #13 and they’re acting like it’s Cody’s Rumble debut. What? Bryan suplexes Tyson out at 21:06 and then dumps Bray through the ropes before following with a dive. DDP returns to the WWE at #14 and Stardust immediately punks him out. And that results in a Diamond Cutter. Fandango goes up and gets crotched and DDP hits a Diamond Cutter from the top on him. Bray also takes one and Rusev is #15. Rusev casually blocks the Cutter and tosses DDP at 24:31. Fandango at 24:38. Bryan hits both heels with a missile dropkick and throws kicks, but Rusev puts him down and Bray tosses him at 25:35. Uh oh. This is gonna get ugly. Goldust is #16 and you can tell they’ve deflated the crowd like Tom Brady’s football. Stardust tries to toss his brother and the crowd just ignores the match and chants for Daniel Bryan, booing EVERYONE. Kofi Kingston is #17 and they boo him too. This is some awesome sour grapes. YOU’RE GONNA GET ROMAN REIGNS AND LIKE IT, PHILLY! Adam Rose is #18 and the Rosebuds catch a flying Kofi and save him. And then they ignore Rose flying out at 30:33. And then Rusev eliminates Kofi at 30:49 anyway. I’m glad they at least did the crowd surf spot before killing the Rose character off. Roman Reigns is #19 and the crowd is PISSED. They are NOT buying in on this one. This man is being sent out there to die. Reigns cleans house and dumps Goldust at 32:37 and Stardust at 32:38. It’s Bootista time as the crowd turns on the match. Big E is #20 and the crowd can’t even be bothered to boo him. No, wait, they can. Everyone stands around punching each other and Mizdow is #21 and he’s the one guy who at least the crowd spares. And then Miz sends him back and takes his spot, so Roman shoves him out and Mizdow goes in after all. And then Rusev tosses him right away at 36:03. So the crowd turns on the match again. Jack Swagger is #22 and no one cares about that either. Swaggerbomb on Reigns and then it’s back to standing around and kicking. Ryback is #23 and goes after Rusev, but can’t put him out. Now the crowd wants CM Punk. Kane is #24 as the ring piles up with stiffs with nothing going on. Dean Ambrose is #25 and we’ll see what stupid way he eliminates himself. Philly is willing to back him in his quest to make this match not suck. Titus O’Neil is #26. Well that won’t help. The Shield reunites to dump him at 43:38. Bad News Barrett is lucky #27. So that leaves Big Show, Dolph Ziggler and someone else. More nothing going on with dead weight piled up. The match basically died off with Reigns. Cesaro is #28 and he gets some offense on Ambrose and Big gets Rusev’d at 48:23. Big Show is #29 and he dumps Ryback at 49:33. Swagger at 49:40. And Dolph Ziggler is #30, so we’re getting Reigns winning this dog. Dolph tosses Barrett at 51:01, but walks into the Giant Swing. Cesaro can’t put him out, however. They slug it out on the apron and Ziggler supkerkicks him out at 52:01. And then Show just punches him out and tosses him at 52:47. Kane and Show dump Bray at 53:17, leaving a Final Four of Show, Kane, Ambrose and Reigns. We do the big slugfest and the crowd shits all over it. Superman Punch for Show, but Reigns runs into a big boot from Kane. Dean gets dumped at 55:13 like a geek, leaving Reigns alone. And the crowd just SAVAGELY turns on the match, booing Reigns’ comeback. Kane and Big Show turn on each other and the crowd is just booing this whole mess with a wall of white noise, and Reigns dumps both to win at 57:15. And the crowd BOOS HIM OUT OF THE BUILDING! Holy fuck. There was literally zero reaction to him winning. Kane and Show beat on him afterwards, but The Rock makes the save, momentarily redeeming this mess, before the crowd goes back to booing Reigns again. And then Rusev returns, having never been eliminated, and Reigns tosses him out to win for real at 59:48. And the crowd still boos him. WORST RUMBLE EVER. At least 1999 had trainwreck appeal. This was just boring. **

The Pulse

This show is gonna be legendary for all the wrong reasons. Thumbs way down.

Comments

  1. This should be good, diving in.

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  2. Holy shit that was AWESOME! Man, sorry you didn't like it, but you're being ridiculous and upset that "your" guy didn't win. That's cool - its part of the intended result, for you to be emotionally involved in someone. But man, great title match, great rumble, good tags...what do you objectively have to complain about?

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  3. Come on Roman ... is that you?

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  4. Bryan's gotta be retiring, right?

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  5. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©January 25, 2015 at 9:30 PM

    I belee it is.

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  6. ThebrazilianpsychoJanuary 25, 2015 at 9:30 PM

    http://www.mtviggy.com/wp-content/gallery/trainwreck/featured.jpg



    Royal Rumble 2015 in one image.

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  7. They need to reboot the company.

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  8. He's like "can I be the face of NXT?"

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  9. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©January 25, 2015 at 9:30 PM

    Uh oh. This is gonna get ugly.
    Wiser words have never been spoken Scott.

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  10. Notables who weren't in the Rumble: Mark Henry, Sami Zayn...

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  11. Hi I'm here for the gangbang

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  12. As we've mentioned before, this isn't just about Bryan. This was a dull match where the fan favorites got tossed out quickly, Big Show and Kane were the last ones standing, there was a distinct lack of storytelling and fun spots, and their golden boy winner did jack shit the whole. CM Punk was more active in last year's rumble and he had a staph infection you could see from space.


    Seriously, if you think this was a great Rumble match, I got a big floppy weiner to dangle in your face.

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  13. What was good about the Rumble? You are the literally the only person who thought it was a good match?

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  14. The triple threat match was absolutely magnificent. The Rumble match itself will go down in history as one of the worst of all time, both for quality and the result.

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  15. privately, they couldn't be happier

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  16. Nothing for the Phoenix Splash!?

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  17. This show was like going home with a chick, going through some boring and obligatory foreplay, her giving you the most awesome blowjob ever, but then fucks you in such a painful way it cuts your penis skin and nearly breaks it in two.


    At the end of the day, you really have to question if the blowjob was worth it, but you know for sure you still left miserable.

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  18. I think you're speaking in hyperbole there. Unless you've polled everyone in the world. No offense

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  19. VERY generous to the Tag Title match.

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  20. Take out emotional investment, put yourself in the shoes of the biggest roman reigns fan ever, wouldn't you see anything wrong in that rumble? Even the one guy they savagely made everyone look bad for...looked horrible. Reigns came off as a punk, a lucky loser who lies around and dumps people when they are vulnerable or have their backs turned. The reigns of LAST YEAR was booked to win, not this fool.

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  21. Okay, how was the Rumble match a good match, if you thought so yourself?

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  22. That or you finally get with the hottest girl ever and then when you pull her pants down you reveal a penis larger than your own.

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  23. The show deflated faster than a Patriots game ball.

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  24. I pay $9.99 a month for MIZDOW AND NOTHING ELSE.

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  25. My only gripe with the title match was there were too many finishers. It's WWE's fault for making it so people only win on finishers and roll-ups, so you can't have a believable near-fall with a non-finisher high-impact move, but some of those spots you didn't need to have Cena hitting another AA or Rollins hitting another Curb Stomp.

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  26. Right? How does he get 12 eliminations last year and then looks like a geek in this one when he's supposed to headline the big time?

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  27. "he had a staph infection you could see from space"


    can the WWE doctors borrow your eyes?

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  28. I actually really dug the Boogeyman/Wyatt showdown.


    Oh and RIP the Bully Ray character. We all know Bubba will never get to look that good in WWE.

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  29. New Age Outlaws, Kane, Big Show, heel Triple H and Stephanie, The Rock ... they were all main eventers in 2000. The new stars get thrown you like trash.

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  30. I feel like you stole my bit from the earlier thread.

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  31. Meanwhile, somebody texted these events to Batista while he counts the
    0s on a Guardians of the Galaxy check and he laughed, laughed, and
    laughed.

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  32. Couldn't they have just had Daniel Bryan not be in the rumble to avoid the chance of this happening? Why not have him come back Monday or get screwed out of the spot by the Authority? Why take the risk?

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  33. So you did, missed that but obvious line.

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  34. GOOD FUCKING POINT.


    Bryan did NOT need to be in this mess.

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  35. Cannot believe we're living in a time where Poochie is going over Brock Lesnar on the biggest wrestling stage of them all... and Daniel Bryan will be buried in the middle somewhere after just a year ago having the greatest wrestling highlights of the past 10 years... Unreal. This shit does not sell network subscriptions.

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  36. Did you go that route too? Great minds think alike. Or perverted minds. Whatever.

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  37. It's sad that the commentary team saying this was Stardust's "Royal Rumble Debut" doesn't even come close to the most intelligence-insulting moment in the match.

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  38. This night is already legendary.

    So many people cancelled their subscription after the rumble that the website crashed.
    The fans blocked the wrestlers cars in the parking lot.
    The Rock got booed out of the building.

    Raw is going to be train wreck comedy tomorrow. If they start the show with HHH "awww you didn't get what you want?" again, it's going to be epic.

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  39. There were guys in there the fans were ready to get behind - even someone like Ryback.

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  40. You forgot to add the negative before the two stars.

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  41. Where is Raw tomorrow?

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  42. Wait are you serious about the cars?

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  43. They better hope the blizzard keeps everyone home tomorrow night in Hartford.

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  44. Man, you know they fucked up when Scott's making American football references.

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  45. Mizdow and Ziggler too. And they were promptly eliminated. Bullshit.

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  46. Yeah that really happened.

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  47. Worst than 1995 ????? Ok Scott Keith I cant roll with you on this one. This was not the worst one.

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  48. A Rumble match of two halves, split almost exactly at the point DBry was eliminated; it started off well I thought with a few of the comebacks, with Bray's domination, but then as soon as DBry got eliminated, the energy was totally sucked out of it. Not sure whose idea it was to have Kane, Show and Reigns as the final three, but in trying to keep him away from Ziggler, Ambrose, Bryan etc., they may have actually compounded things.

    When even the Rock showing up can't save you, you know it hasn't gone down well.

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  49. MikeyMike, JuggernautJanuary 25, 2015 at 9:37 PM

    ** is very generous for the Rumble

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  50. Wow they fucked up bad.

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  51. Again, had they put the Triple Threat on AFTER the Rumble, at least not the near-riot ending.

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  52. Reigns winning ... https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dCkq5X8-L_c

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  53. The Rocks backstage waffling promo was gold, "hey guys my bro Roman is cool too" and continually having to tell people off camera to stop laughing

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  54. This was the event where Vince McMahon completed his transformation into Howard Hughes.

    I mean, I don't see him growing his fingernails and hair out, and while I wouldn't put it past him to have jars of his urine somewhere being used for.....something, this was the moment where the man truly lost touch with every facet of reality.

    We can argue the booking all day long, we can point out the mistakes. It doesn't matter.

    This whole event was a testament to the destruction of a man in front of us. This was the reckoning of Vince's failure to even UNDERSTAND his audience. He may not have understood Steve Austin back in the day when the rise of Austin 3:16 happened, but he understood the audience. He understood what they wanted.

    This isn't something to be made fun of, guys. This was a tragedy. This was the final coda to the greatest wrestling promoter of all time, and his fall from grace.

    What reasons can there be for the madness? I know not, just that the bell has finally tolled for Vincent Kennedy McMahon. While his son-in-law is putting on a clinic in wrestling booking down in NXT, the business has passed him by, and at some point tonight, he will look in a mirror and realize that it has left him in the rearview mirror.

    It's a true Shakespearean reckoning at it's finest. It's King Lear.

    And it's a shame.

    I'm not even angry, I'm just sad.

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  55. Pretty much everyone that had any interest at all got dumped quickly, and unceremoniously.

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  56. I always think of Scott as Ralphie from A Christmas Story: "Football?! What's a football?!"

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  57. Hartford, CT.
    By the way, there's a "worst of all time" blizzard coming tomorrow.
    Vince might decide just to not do a show tomorrow for everyone's sake.

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  58. When was the last time they had this many bad shows in a row? SHIT. Was Summerslam the last good show?

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  59. well the crowd might have shit on it because Philadelphia.

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  60. The worst part about the show is that we all knew it was coming. It's like when everyone in your family gets the stomach flu and you're the last one to get it. You know your time is coming.

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  61. ... they tried that route last year.

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  62. ** for the Rumble is very generous.

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  63. Because Ferguson taught us that everything on Twitter is accurate.

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  64. kbwrestlingreviewsJanuary 25, 2015 at 9:38 PM

    I don't hate Reigns winning, but he's simply not ready. This was very similar to 1993. As soon as Undertaker (or Bryan here) went out, you knew Yokozuna (Reigns) was winning no matter what. Just with a FAR more rabid crowd.

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  65. MikeyMike, JuggernautJanuary 25, 2015 at 9:38 PM

    No way

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  66. Some good eliminations, a couple good surprises, and the person who's been penciled in to win like forever ago won. I'm not much of a BRYAN fan feel like he's just coming off injury and have no clue if he can go and be reliable. Plus this means Rollins will be champion before summer and I'm happy with that.

    Hate it all you want, but to say everyone hates it isn't right.

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  67. Can't wait for some people here to claim it was the plan all along when Bryan gets added to the main event in March.

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  68. I was thinking that you just won the lottery but then you saw the tax bill. You still have a shit load of money though (the wwe title match).

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  69. That's it! OK, Roman's gonna win, fine, but jesus, at least tease the crowd that some of the guys they're rooting for have a chance. Imagine HBK in 2010 going out halfway through.

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  70. Way, way too generous. It deserved negative stars.

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  71. Agreed. I seemed to be going into good-very good areas, with the dominat Wyatt storyline. Then the Bryan eilimination screwed everything up and it was downhill from there. Worst rumble ever I think pretty much sums the up. Wrestlemania is going to be hard to watch!

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  72. Summerslam wasn't good.


    Survivor Series was... OKish? I liked the Main Event?


    Seriously I don't think they've done anything good since WrestleMania 30.

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  73. Give him the title shot against Lesnar at this show.

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  74. Big difference this time: Daniel Bryan was not expected to be in it. Just hold him out of action and have him return tomorrow night rather than 3 weeks ago.

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  75. The only upvotes are probably virgins...what kind of pussy do you fuck that it cuts your dick?

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  76. LMAO if that happens. And pick the shoot interview you want me to review next week so I can start on that.

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  77. And here's the Reigns/Brock title match:

    https://encrypted-tbn0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:ANd9GcROiohYHc9QW7AQhX6PRmBmoqjdIy9tdaShjDf7SwCskRUHMvVEww

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  78. i was thinking kotr 1995. Once taker and hbk was out, the crowd didn't care anymore

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  79. I honestly don't think there's been a good show top to bottom since I've had the network.

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  80. Did you send me the list yet?

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  81. If they put it on after the rumble, the crowd would be dead, and the match wouldnt be as awesome.

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  82. Sur Series was a awful show with a great main event

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  83. IT'S HIM AUSTIN!

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  84. I said the Triple threat was like a blowjob, and the Rumble was like finding out the girl giving you the blowjob had a mouth full of AIDS.

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  85. This was like John Cena winning in 04 instead of Benoit. It may be time eventually but not now.

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  86. The kind that sends Philly home unhappy

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  87. UGH "give them a chance lets see where this goes"

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  88. Fandango fought valiantly for me, but alas, it was not to be. I call dibs on the shoot interview if whoever won flakes out.

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  89. Yeah that's the closest one. I really hated the main event, I think more than the general consensus. I was just completely checked out on that. But the rest was OK to good I guess.

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  90. Reigns didnt look impressive in winning thought. Everyone knew that was the plan but even The Rock endorsing him largely backfired with the live crowd. And the match itself was mostly dead weight.

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  91. I tapped out on that thread ages ago. It was crashing on me like the WWE cancel sub site.

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  92. MikeyMike, JuggernautJanuary 25, 2015 at 9:40 PM

    Outside of some Bryan offense and the Bubba Dudley stuff there was nothing good about the Rumble. I'd go DUD

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  93. Payback was a good show. I think it was anyway, I remember enjoying it, but I couldn't tell you what the card was now without looking it up.

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  94. How exactly were we supposed to get emotionally invested in a guy lying around the ring like a fucking pussy?

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  95. AND he's probably boning the shit out of the extras (and stars) in the new 007 movie

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  96. Well at least we have the advertised Reigns vs. Big Show Last Man Standing match at Fast Lane to look forward to.

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  97. More importantly, while the 1999 Rumble had trainwreck appeal, it nonetheless occurred during a very promising and popular time for the company. One bad PPV (even the Rumble) was easily corrected. This monumental, heaping pile of shit PPV monstrosity will have lasting and irreversible consequences. Worst Rumble ever easy. Even with the good title match, this may be the worst PPV of the past 10 years.

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  98. I wouldn't give it negative stars. The RESULT gets negative stars, but the match itself was about *1/2. It was great before Bryan got dumped, but it just totally fell to pieces when the crowd turned on the match.

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  99. Its actually on my other computer but I have just about every shoot there is

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  100. when Bubba Ray Dudley is in your top 3 moments your putting on a shitty rumble lol.

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  101. OKay that sounds right. For 9.99 I can get behind that as a "good show."

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  102. "you can tell they’ve deflated the crowd like Tom Brady’s football."

    BURN!

    Again I mention, Remember the reaction Daniel Bryan got from the crowd when he said he was returning & entering the Royal Rumble? Now compare THAT reaction to the reaction Roman Reigns got when he said he was entering the Royal Rumble?



    I mean we're talking about the SAME GUY that kept the Wrestlemania 30 crowd ALIVE right after booking the biggest downer in "the history of our sport". They think Roman Reigns is a better choice then THAT GUY!?

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  103. Yeah really what the heck are the two stars for? Come on Keith, you gave ROCK/HOGAN two stars!

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  104. It sure sounds like him.

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  105. He's in the right movie, there's aBond Girl who's actually older than he is.

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  106. The fuck is Fast Lane?

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  107. Reigns was dead the second he spiked that coffee. The Rumble was his funeral. I would suggest a heel turn but WWE doesn't have the balls to do it, and doesn't know how to book heels anymore anyway.

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  108. So, WWE knew the crowd was going to shit all over Reigns winning, and instead of just, I dunno, giving the paying customers what they want or something crazy like that, they spent MILLIONS OF DOLLARS to get The Rock to do a cameo JUST to keep the crowd from booing the winner. And after all of that THEY STILL BOOED ANYWAY!

    And the *really* funny think is I have no doubt that the people running this shit show legitimately have no idea why they can't increase Network subscriptions/Raw ratings.

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  109. The look on Rock's face as the crowd shat all over his endorsement tells me it might be a while before he makes another appearance.

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  110. CruelConnectionNumber2January 25, 2015 at 9:42 PM

    No, it isn't. New Haven CT is a super mark babyface McMahon loving town.

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  111. Here's the thing: Vince knows there's nothing else. TNA is still mostly a joke despite improvement, ROH isn't a factor, he knows so many will still stick through even with the "let's all cancel network subscriptions" thing. He's the only major game in town so he'll keep doing what he's doing no matter what. I accepted it years ago, hate it but it's there and sadly, tonight shows it's not going to change.

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  112. Bryan and Kidd had a nice little exchange

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  113. Man, I got a lot of No-More Nails on my hands today, and it's really not interested in coming off.

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  114. He did a bizarre post show interview too.

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  115. I just wanted to point out the funny moment when you realize he gave the Rumble more stars than the first time he watched the Taker/Foley HIAC

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  116. MikeyMike, JuggernautJanuary 25, 2015 at 9:42 PM

    99 was terrible and may have been Mr.Russos Opus but at least you knew Austin was still winning at Mania somehow. This is setting us up for an awful Awful mania main event

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  117. CruelConnectionNumber2January 25, 2015 at 9:42 PM

    He said it was Stardust's debut. He then mentioned Cody and Dustin fought the prior year in the Rumble. Everyone calm down.

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  118. After Elim Chamber or before?

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  119. Terrible comp. Cena was ready in 04.

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  120. Yes worse than 1999. The audience didn't spend the entire match booing everyone.

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  121. Wasn't it that show with Kelly Kapowski?

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  122. This is one of Scott's worst ratings since Triple H / HBK at Summerslam.

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  123. If they book Bryan/Brock for "Fast Lane" and put Bryan over there, does that save WrestleMania XXXI?

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  124. This company still has its finger on the pulse of its fanbase. They're going to turn Bryan heel and then have him feud with a freshly turned Big Show at Mania. It's the only logical conclusion.

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  125. MikeyMike, JuggernautJanuary 25, 2015 at 9:43 PM

    What did he say?

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  126. and the product was still hot.

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  127. Bryan beating Brock on a free PPV?

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  128. Beyond Bryan, there were so many missed opportunities in the Rumble match. They could've reunited the Wyatt Family, had a spotlight Rusev-Ryback segment, started a new feud for Ambrose, unmasked the Bunny, given Sandow more of a moment, established Big E (and New Day) as a force, brought Orton back, made Ziggler look strong ....

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  129. What haven't you reviewed yet?

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  130. Sheamus ... round 3 because the fans demand it!

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  131. He's Damien Keith-dow.

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  132. CruelConnectionNumber2January 25, 2015 at 9:43 PM

    Mania 30 delivered.

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  133. You fucking with me? Tell me u are

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  134. Costs the same as WM.

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  135. He was trying to endorse Roman but he was too busy cracking up everyone around offscreen watching. So it didn't help.

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  136. Cena vs Orton,one more timeJanuary 25, 2015 at 9:44 PM

    I think I need to take a break from WWE for a while.Possibly years.I just don't care anymore.
    And before anyone says see you next week-I stopped watching TNA completely after Victory Road 2011.I don't know how much more of this I can take.

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  137. Shit I was waiting for the Undertaker to come out when Wyatt was rolling through people.

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  138. February is a free month on the Network.

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  139. The Rumble has jumped the shark, it has been complete shit since Patterson left.

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  140. The booking alone deserves negative stars. The worst thing about it is it was clearly exactly what Vince wanted.

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  141. I can forgive 99 because the February PPV was fun and they got the right main event at the biggest damn show they.

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  142. i will laugh so hard if the audience doesn't show up tomorrow because of a historically bad blizzard

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  143. Is having Big Show and Kane the most uninspired booking of all? Its one thing having a predictable winner, its another to have these guys involved in the finishing sequence.

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  144. I have a lot of shoots from the newer releases. For timelines I havent reviewed any ECW ones or the Bruno one. What type of shoot you interested in.

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  145. This is like taking the smiling babyface Rocky Maivia and putting him in the main event at WrestleMania.

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  146. Today's Wrestling fans: WWE sucks and doesn't care what the fans think ..... but I'm still gonna watch.

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  147. I'm going to Raw tomorrow, so this'll be an interesting as hell show.

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  148. Build a time machine and get D-Bryan's 2020 shoot. I'd love to hear what he's REALLY thinking.

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  149. Bryan did look heelish after he got eliminated. All the lulz if they turn him.

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  150. Oh wow. There's your out, right there. They should highly consider doing something to that effect. I think we're looking at Lesnar-Goldberg II in terms of reaction, otherwise. They'll have to put Sting on last (because they won't turn on him) just to avoid the garbage being thrown into the ring.

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  151. An empty arena match where the crowd can't shit on it might be Vince's dream these days.

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  152. MikeyMike, JuggernautJanuary 25, 2015 at 9:45 PM

    Yeah I'm sure hes not reading dirt sheets regularly and is probably mad that they put him in that position.

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  153. You mean like everyone thought it would(backfire)? Also the crowd acted how everyone (but Keith for some reason) expected it to. I was actually shocked that they didn't chant for bryan more than they did. The match wasn't the best but it wasn't the worst either. I enjoyed myself, sorry you couldn't do the same.

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  154. Im done. I can't do this company anymore tonight I'm going to bed

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  155. See, I'm tempted to axe subscription but those archives....

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  156. So did anyone else catch that HHH is doing Austin's live podcast after Raw?

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  157. Roman sure is a blue chipper.

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  158. If Ziggler won I would have been okay. If they hadn't ruined Reigns the last couples months I'd be okay. That was terrible.

    At least they had some different returning stars. And no RVD and Jericho!

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  159. Not really.


    And I made this comparison last week. EVERYONE IS STEALING MY SHIT.

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  160. ARRRRGH THE BARBARIANJanuary 25, 2015 at 9:46 PM

    It got so bad that if Cena came in at 29/30 and dumped Reigns, he would have gotten a megapop.

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  161. MikeyMike, JuggernautJanuary 25, 2015 at 9:46 PM

    Thanks pal

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  162. Anyone listening to LAW right now?

    The guy voicing the Trash Palace commercial sounds eerily like John Candy.

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  163. I'm loving sad Mark Brunell

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  164. You have to appreciate Vince just giving his fan base the Katie Vick treatment no matter what. I mean getting the crowd to boo the Rick is impressive, but getting them to cheer for Rusev at the end is a masterwork of bad booking.

    The whole thing just felt like a massive middle finger to the "Universe"

    The Pittsburgh crowd was better last year though

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  165. Cena was pretty over with the fans in 2004, a lot more than Reigns is now.

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  166. BOO THE FUCK OUT OF EVERYTHING.

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  167. From r/squaredcircle:

    The Rock looks thrilled, doesn't he?

    https://pbs.twimg.com/media/B8PyxiUIgAAsre4.png

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  168. Ziggler, Wyatt, Rusev, even Ryback ... I think the fans would have been *okay* with it.

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  169. Yeah man. When I watch a shitty movie, I never watch movies again.

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  170. I watched a lot of old Rumbles leading up to tonight's show. Even though there were years where the guy you wanted to win didn't, or moments that pissed you off because your favorite guy (SES Punk doing his shtick in 2010) is killing it only to be cut off at the legs by an older wrestler...at least those years made sense from a booking standpoint.


    The Rumble is the hardest match to screw up, yet it feels like they just wanted to troll the crowd/viewer and dare them to get behind someone in this match. Every babyface was cutoff before they could do anything to get the crowd going. No one stayed in there for long periods of time teasing eliminations to get the crowd behind them. There were no memorable will he/won't he spots. Goddamn this is one of the worst Rumbles the more I think about it.

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  171. Today's John Kreese: The BoD sucks and complain too much... but I'm still gonna read what they have to say and talk to them

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  172. Superstorm. It's not hurricane season.

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  173. If they'd been the last four and it came down to Ambrose/Ziggler and Reigns after they get dumped it would have been way better.

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  174. My least favorite Keith rating is two stars for Hogan/Rock at WM18. My thought at the time was "Man, learn to have some fun." But I think I read in one of his later rants that he came around on that match....because it's fun.

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  175. Theberzerker Von HUSSingtonJanuary 25, 2015 at 9:47 PM

    That's an "I'm going to have a talk with Vince when I get back there." look.

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  176. Hope he asks him about why the hell they are choosing Reigns over Bryan, although HHH is more likely to answer in character.

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  177. Where is Raw tomorrow?

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  178. This was my first non-NXT WWE show since...Summerslam, I think. Killer three-way match, but the Rumble was seriously deflating. I might be watching Mania if the card's good, but I guess I'm back to NXT and Shimmer again.

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  179. they should have rollins cash in against lesnar and have him fight against reigns at wrestlemania

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  180. New Haven, CT...during a blizzard.

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  181. What did he do for a year on a shitty B show that made him more ready than he was in 2004?

    ReplyDelete

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