So, I have
to say, before we begin: I really like the new RAW Pre-Show hosts.
Mainly, I love the way they play off one another and I love David
Otunga. Which is something I never thought I'd say.
He had some really goofy lines tonight that were quick-witted and pretty funny:
- "Right now, Sting is trolling Triple H like a 14-year-old on the Internet."
- "[The Cena/Rusev feud] is much like The Lion King. If you remember, Simba had to conquer [Scar] in order to take over the kingdom."
- "My bold prediction is that John Cena's doctor is gonna tell us...that John Cena has learned to exercise his eyeballs and is gonna strengthen his eyes to overcome his scratched cornea."
Of course, you may feel free expound and tell me I'm full of shit in the comments. As you all know, I look forward to that and I hope we have some good conversation.
Let's move...
We start with the titles.
And we are LIVE(!!!) from Orlando, Florida!!!
Michael Cole, JBL and Booker T are the guys manning that one desk with the mics.
We start with John Cena who, I swear, has the booing built into the his music at this point. He says that we're only a week away from Fastlane. He says the crowd will be rockin', but he likes what he sees tonight as ORLANDO IS RAW. But he has something to show us from last week. We get clips of the Rusev beatdown from last week.
Cena says NO MORE. He's been told that Rusev is unstoppable. He doesn't agree. This Sunday, he's gonna beat Rusev. He says that he'll save everyone the trouble of thinking about it and he'll tell everyone how to do it. He says he's been doing this for years and he loves it when the fans boo (they boo) and cheer (they cheer) and that's what RAW is all about. (DANIELLE: Because I get paid either way, assholes!) He says that there won't be any high fives, just five fingers balled in a fist. He will be the first WWE Superstar to beat Rusev. This Sunday, he will win the United States Championship. The more he pounds the Championship angle, the more he's convincing everyone he's gonna lose.
That brings out Rusev and Lana. Lana says Cena just delivers the same tired rhetoric. She says that Cena's cup is half-full. Her and Rusev live in reality. He's the greatest United States Champion. Rusev is even better than Cena: the man who never gives up. This time, however, there isn't any coming back from what Rusev is going to do. Rusev grabs the mic and he's gonna destroy Cena's body, spirit and his "little will to live will be crushed".
Cena tells Rusev that Rusev has never had his ass kicked. So, stay there. He's coming down to kick Rusev's ass. Cena runs down the ramp and tackles Rusev, punching away, then clotheslines him. Referees come out to stop Cena, but there's only two of them as the rest are in the middle of a good round of Texas Hold 'Em. Cena tells them to back off and they do. Cena just belts Rusev in the face. Rusev is laid out and Cena yells, "EVERY MAN CAN BE BEAT" into his face.
MOMENTS AGO: Cena beat up Rusev.
Cole praises SNL's 40th Anniversary...and, apparently, Dean Ambrose tried out for Weekend Update. Ha. Cole shows us a clip of Ambrose in a suit, announcing that he's taking on Bad News Barrett at Fastlane in a sketch that aims to be "funny" and fails.
MATCH #1: Luke Harper vs. Dean Ambrose
Initial back-and-forth sees a Harper shoulderblock and Ambrose headlock followed by a wristlock. Harper breaks it and puts Ambrose in the corner, slapping at him. A whip sees Ambrose hitting a cross body and flurry of punches. Ambrose follows up, beating Harper in three of the first four corners, then hits a nice Reverse Flying Elbow off the second buckle, followed by a Flying Ambrose through the ropes to the outside. Harper somehow no-sells that and boots Ambrose in the head. When we come back from break, Harper has Ambrose in a headlock. During the break, Cole tells us that were saps for not having the WWE App. If we had it, we would have seen Harper slapping Ambrose in the mouth. Ambrose finally breaks the hold and dumps Harper outside. Harper leaps back into the ring but ends up in a Tornado DDT from the turnbuckle. Harper gets to his feet but Ambrose bolts to his feet as well and punches away at Harper, hitting a nice running sitting dropkick. Ambrose hits a nice Flying Clothesline which JBL calls the "Air Psycho". He gets two, then goes top rope again. He leaps and flies over Harper, who hits a Superkick for a close fall. Harper tries a powerbomb but Ambrose breaks it only to fly right into a Twirling Side Slam by Harper for another close fall. Harper tries the Clothesline from Smell but misses. Harper ducks a move and boots Ambrose into the ropes for the Rebound Clothesline from Ambrose, then Dirty Deeds for the win at 11:04.
WINNER: Dean Ambrose via Dirty Deeds
RATING: **3/4. Really decent match to start off.
Cole talks about the Rhodes brothers having issues. Dusty is here, tonight, to help settle things.
TONIGHT: Triple H will respond to the time he called Sting out and got punked.
ALSO OMG WE'RE SWITCHING WRESTLERS IN THE FEUDS THAT WON'T DIE:
- Big Show vs. Daniel Bryan
- Roman Reigns takes on Kane
Bray Wyatt time. He has a nail for a coffin. He says that he's not afraid of who he used to fear...in fact, it's coming...
Star and Golddust are backstage. Dusty interrupts and he's not impressed with Cody's Stardust thing. He says that the three of them share common blood. No matter what goes down, he loves them both. He says that they are gonna take care of business tonight. Gold asks Star if he's ready to go tonight. The two shake hands and hug.
MATCH #2: The New Day (Kofi Kingston & Xavier Woods) (w/ Big E) vs. Gold & Stardust
Big E drums the mat which doesn't work. At all. Woods knees Star in the stomach but Star manages to get a tag to Gold who gets hip tossed to the mat. Gold manages to put Woods in the corner and the Rhodes brothers tag in and out. Woods hits an Enzuguri to Gold and gets a tag to Kofi who attacks Star and kicks Gold. He hits a clothesline and legdrop. He sets up for a move and ends up hitting a crossbody. Some miscommunication, however, leads to Gold getting kicked in the face by Kofi, who pins Gold for the win at 3:00.
WINNERS: New Day
RATING: DUD.
Post-match, Star helps Gold up -- then hits Cross Rhodes and leaves. Hooray. Good job, Dusty, you fixed it.
Byron interviews Roman Reigns backstage. He's focused on WrestleMania. He says that Seth Rollins tried to find a way to worm his way into their match. He says that he's going to WrestleMania. Believe. Dat.
Meanwhile, at ringside, Daniel Bryan comes out to do commentary as Reigns is due to take on Kane.
After a break, Dusty confronts Cody backstage. Cody says a bunch of bullshit, then denounces his father, telling him that, like Cody, Dusty his also dead to him.
And, like 9 minutes later, people are still yelling YES at Daniel Bryan.
MATCH #3: Roman Reigns vs. Kane
Daniel Bryan: "I have one less title defense than Brock Lesnar." Nice. Reigns suplexes Kane as Reigns looks on. Kane puts Reigns into the turnbuckle on the distraction and it's a headlock as Daniel Bryan suddenly starts sounding like a fucking heel. Reigns fights out but runs into a Kane elbow. Reigns tries a top rope attack but Kane uppercuts him. Kane hits a Sitting Dropkick. Two count. Reigns comes back with clotheslines and a Samoan Drop. Bryan starts another YES chant and Reigns is distracted -- then runs into a Kane big boot. Kane goes outside and tears the announce table apart. Kane grabs Reigns and tries a Chokeslam but Reigns hits a Spear. Kane is counted out at 6:20.
WINNER: Roman Reigns
RATING: 1/4*. PLEASE. STOP. THIS. FEUD.
Post-match, Bryan taunts Reigns with the YES chant.
TONIGHT: Daniel Bryan faces the Big Show.
ALSO: Triple H calls out Sting because he didn't like the way Sting reacted to being called out the first time he was called out.
Backstage, Renee Young wants to know what Bryan's thinking about Sunday. Bryan says that Reigns is gonna need to get used to the YES chant.
Bray Wyatt. Again. He has a hammer this time. He says that his opponent is in limbo...and he's waiting.
Byron is waiting outside the Diva's locker room and actually gives us a reason why he's there. The Bellas come out and they have Paige's gear. They say that Paige will have to wrestle naked tonight. You know, because wrestlers don't have more than one costume. Paige flies out of the dressing room and says her gear's been stolen. She asks Cameron if she can borrow her gear. Cameron says she can but it won't look good. Girl, bye. Then Adam Rose's Special Bus People shows up. Paige yanks the candy plum fairy one into the dressing room and we go to break. Way too much thought is going into this...
MATCH #4: Summer Rae vs. Paige
Paige looks hotter than hell in a skirt and stockings and boots. Summer mocks her and Paige just clotheslines her with the top rope. She knees Summer in the face and screams. Summer comes back with a Leg Scissors Surfboard. Nice move. Paige counters with a pin that gets two. Summer breaks and hits a legdrop but Paige moves out of the way of the follow-up. Clotheslines to Summer and the PTO for the win at 2:45.
WINNER: Paige via PTO
RATING: 1/4*.
Post-match, Nikki has the mic and insults Paige's outfit. Paige says she doesn't care. All she needs to do is win. And she will at Fastlane. Nikki storms off.
NEXT: Seth Rollins faces Dolph Ziggler
Sheamus is returning...
Seth Rollins and J&J Security hit the ring. Rollins says that today is President's Day where they honor the great leaders of the past. But that's a waste of time since the future is standing in front of everyone. He says he can do what he wants when ever he wants. He can even be the new host of The Daily Show. The crowd, who isn't smart enough to watch the show, doesn't know whether to boo or cheer. H=Rollins says that he has to deal with with people who are far beneath him like Ryback, Erick Rowan and Dolph Ziggler.
Ziggler comes out to interrupt. He asks Rollins if he had a bad Valentine's Day. Maybe his Security team got him the wrong chocolates? Maybe Triple H failed to explain the birds and bees. Rollins interrupts and calls him and his career pathetic. Ziggler agrees and says that Rollins is right. He's nothing compared to Rollins. He's not a whiny douche like Rollins. He tells "the Hobbits" to leave the ring so he can kick Rollins' ass. Cole: "Yeah, Frodo and Bilbo! Leave!" Sigh...
MATCH #5: Seth Rollins (w/ Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury) vs. Dolph Ziggler
Ziggler is tossed from the ring. Rollins distracts the ref so Security can attack Ziggler but the ref is hip to this and tosses Security out of the matc. Rollins is furious and goes after Ziggler, pushing him back into the ring. Ziggler quickly rolls him up for two. Rollins kicks at Ziggler and puts him in the corner but misses an attack. Ziggler hits a corner splash. Big Elbow Drop gets two. Ziggler tries a Buckle Bomb but Ziggler rolls him up for two. DDT by Ziggler gets two as well. Ziggler tries a Zigg Zagg but Rollins breaks and hits a dropkick for two. Rollins kicks at Ziggler, then goes top rope but Ziggler leaps up to grab Rollins. Rollins shoves him and it's a series of counters. Ziggler hits the Superkick and Zigg Zagg but Security's here to fuck up another match at around 6:30.
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler via DQ
RATING: **1/4. Why bar Security from the ring if you're gonna have them do the run-in DQ spot anyway?!
Post-match, it's Yet Another Mudhole Stomp until Rowan and Ryback come in to even the odds. They miss Mercury and Rollins but they do get a piece of Noble as Ryback hits a Spinebuster.
FASTLANE KICKOFF: MizTV will have special guest Paul Heyman
Out comes Triple H to "react" to Sting as we get clips of Sting trolling him last week. The crowd chants "WE WANT STING". Triple H has heard a rumor saying that he's afraid of Sting. He says that it takes more than mind games to get under his skin. At Fastlane, WCW will stand there and face WWE--.
Then Ric Flair just shows up because why the hell not? Triple H holds the ring ropes for him as he gets in the ring. Flair says he's out here because he loves and respects Triple H, so he doesn't wanna be cussed out "like you guys do to all the other guys each week". Triple H interrupts him and says that if Flair's here to sing the praises of Sting, he says Flair should save his breath. Flair says not to take Sting lightly. He tells Triple H not to put himself in a position to fail. Triple H says he knows how good Sting is. He says that he watched Sting get in the ring for 60 minutes at Clash of the Champions. He's seen him win titles and stand tall. He was an icon and one of the greatest. He was WCW.
Triple H says he admires all of that -- but then Sting disappeared. That was the right thing to do. He says that if Sting showed up after all that, Triple H would have run him out of WWE. He says that Sting built his reputation on Flair's reputation. Flair tries to interject but Triple H stops him and says that he is WWE. Flair says that he's right: Sting is already getting to him. He says people have stopped him and asked "Ric, who is the greatest?" Flair says Triple H is always the greatest. Flair says that he doesn't want Sting to sneak up on Triple H.
Triple H says that he's not Ric Flair...but...when it comes to kicking Sting's ass, Flair's no Triple H. Flair looks hurt and says, "Do me a favor: when I tune in Fastlane, don't let me catch you sittin' on your ass like you did last time. Fair enough?" Triple H isn't please and shoves Flair to the mat. He says that if Flair thinks he's gonna let Sting take WWE from him, he's mistaken. He will make sure that Sting never shows his face here again. He leaves the ring. Flair's music hits even though he was humiliated. But, it's cool.
EARLIER TONIGHT: Cena attacked Rusev.
AT FASTLANE: Cena will face Rusev for the U.S. Championship
TONIGHT: Daniel Bryan faces Big Show
MATCH #6: Darren Young & Some Guy vs. The Ascension (Konnor & Viktor)
The announcers can't even be bothered to name Young's partner but it doesn't matter. It's a mudhole stomp -- until Titus O'Neil interrupts. The two men clean house...and we're not having a match, I guess.
NO CONTEST. Why not just have The Ascension take on Young and O'Neil?!
Post-match, Titus celebrates with Darren Young
Backstage, Miz tells BNB to knock Miz-dow down a few pegs in the ring. If BNB does that, he'll take care of Ambrose. BNB says that he wants Miz's people to call HIS people.
MATCH #7: Damien Miz-dow (w/ The Miz) vs. WWE Intercontinental Champion Bad News Barrett (non-title)
Miz-dow puts Barrett in a side headlock but Barrett puts Miz-dow in the corner, clubbing away at him. Miz-dow gets the upper hand again but Miz rings a bell and tells Miz-dow it's time to stop. He wants Miz-dow to clean his shoes, then tells Miz-dow to watch himself after Barrett knees him in the gut when he's distracted. Barrett rolls Miz-dow into the ring and gets two. Headlock by Barrett but Miz-dow breaks and hits the Miz-breaker Combo. He goes for the SCF but Miz tells Miz-dow to stop again so Miz-dow can clean his sunglasses. Barrett hits the Bullhammer on Miz-dow on the distraction for the win at 2:31.
WINNER: Bad News Barrett via Bullhammer
RATING: DUD. PLEASE. TURN. MIZ-DOW.
Post-match, Ambrose attacks Barrett, then zip-ties him to the ringpost. Ambrose holds the contract in Barrett's face and tells him that the contract will be signed. Ambrose gets a pen, grabs Barrett's hand and makes him sign. He taunts Barrett, yelling in his face, telling him he'll see him at Fastlane.
Bray again. He's putting a nail in a coffin. You know, just in case you haven't guessed that Bray's opponent is gonna be The Undertaker. He says that his opponent has nowhere left to go. He wants this guy to find him...or Bray will find him.
We get a mixed tag match with Jimmy and Naomi taking on Nattie and Tyson because of ruined date 2 weeks ago during Smackdown. It's darkly ironic that Jimmy calls Tyson "ignorant" while pronouncing the word as "ig-nint".
MATCH #8: Jimmy Uso & Naomi (w/ Jey Uso) vs. Tyson Kidd & Natalya (w/ Cesaro) in a Mixed Tag Team Match
Jimmy and Tyson start. Tyson's so scared, he tags in Nattie. Naomi gets in and she arm drags Nattie and applies a side headlock. Nattie counters into head scissor. There's a series of counters and a tag to Jimmy. Tyson's not happy about this but gets into the ring, applying a headlock to Jimmy. Tyson kicks Jimmy, then turns tail and runs, tagging Nattie. JBL: "That's a great strategy! You slap your opponent, then tag your wife! I've done that for years!" Nattie tosses Naomi to the mat and wants to tag Tyson who's too scared to get back in the ring. Naomi rolls Nattie up after a series of roll-ups and gets the arbitrary win at 2:56.
WINNERS: Uso and Naomi
RATING: DUD.
Post-match, Tyson berates Nattie for losing the match. Cesaro tells Tyson to calm down and separates the two.
Cole reminds us that February is FREE on WWE Network.
EARLIER TONIGHT: Reigns beat Kane.
Bryan walks to the ring from the backstage area. At ringside, Reigns comes down to the ring to hang out.
THIS THURSDAY ON SMACKDOWN: Ziggler faces Rollins with J&J banned from ringside. That worked wonders the last time.
MATCH #9: Daniel Bryan vs. Big Show
Show tries to corner Bryan but Bryan doesn't fall for it and kicks at Show's legs. JBL: "This is like Jack and the Beanstalk...except the beanstalk fights back." Show finally manages to grab Bryan and slaps his chest. Headbutt and chest slap to Bryan. Bryan comes back with kicks and works on Show's left knee. Show shoves him to the mat again, grabs him and headbutts him. Show slams Bryan, then kicks at him, taunting him. He misses a huge clubbing blow and Bryan slaps and kicks Show. Show moves and chest slaps Bryan. Show picks Bryan up and goes for a press slam but Bryan counters and puts a Sleepr on Big Show. Reigns gets up out of his seat, then goes to a fan. He asks the fan for his sign, gets a Sharpie and starts signing autographs. Show breaks the hold but Bryan kicks Show. He misses the big Yes Kick. We go to commercial.
Reigns is sitting back down after signing a bunch of autographs. Show has complete control of Bryan in the ring and stomps at Bryan. Show slaps Bryan's chest, then headbutts him. Show stands there, I swear, for a full minute, not doing anything, while the fans give him shit and the match unnecessarily passes the ten minute mark. Finally, Bryan gets up and kicks him. He leaps at Show but Show catches him in a Bear Hug. Bryan counters and manages to toss Show from the ring. Reigns, though, is up and tossing t-shirts into the crowd. This means something to Bryan for some reason. Bryan tries a Flying Goat. Show catches him and tosses Bryan into Roman Reigns. The two men shove one another. Show hits a Spear on Reigns by accident, then kicks Bryan and rolls him back into the ring.
Bryan hits the trio of dropkicks but Show grabs him on the third one and goes for the Chokeslam. Bryan counters into the YES Lock but Show gets to the ropes, breaking the hold. Bryan hits YES Kicks, hitting the roundhouse this time. He gets a close fall and then goes top rope but Reigns runs in and hits the Superman Punch to end this at 14:39.
WINNER: Big Show via DQ
RATING: *. The match picked up at the end but this feud is so beyond stale.
Post-match, Bryan hits a sitting dropkick on Reigns from the top rope. Reigns comes back, punching and it's a brawl culminating in Reigns tossing Bryan from the ring. Bryan's not happy and flies back into the ring. It's a brawl that goes back and forth. Both men roll out of the ring and it continues. Reigns tosses Bryan into the ring barrier. They get back into the ring but referees show up and break them up as the crowd chants LET THEM FIGHT. The two calm down, shake hands, turn their backs on one another...then charge each other and it's another brawl that spills out of the ring. It goes into the crowd and Bryan gets a hold of a chair. He whacks Reigns with it but Reigns comes back with a HUGE forearm shot. The brawl continues and spills behind the announce desk with Reigns hammering away on Bryan. Everyone and their mother comes out to hold the two men back and we finally go off the air.
OVERALL: **1/2. That final bit pushed the show back up -- though I really hope that WWE is not turning Bryan heel. If they are, I don't think the crowd realizes it.
Er, that's it.
Calling it: Sheamus costs Bryan the shot and we get that match at Mania just like they planned.
ReplyDeleteGood review as always. But I'm not gonna check out a single thing on this show apart from Paige's outfit.
ReplyDeleteThe crowd is gonna shit all over it as well as the main event at WM.
ReplyDeleteAnd it will be glorious.
ReplyDeleteAnd WWE care? First time for anything I guess
ReplyDeleteDefinitely. I can't wait for this shitty company to get a hearty dose of worldwide embarrassment.
ReplyDeleteBryan beats Reigns at Fast Lane to set up Bryan vs. Brock at WM31. Rusev beats Cena at Fast Lane, starts talking about he should be getting a world title shot because he rightfully should've won the Royal Rumble, and that sets up Reigns vs. Rusev at WM31, where Reigns can end Rusev's reign of terror and regain his goodwill with the fans via a dominant U.S. title run.
ReplyDeleteI wish they'd find some way to get Rollins and Ambrose back together for a WrestleMania feud. If not, Rollins vs. Cena and Ambrose (IC champ) vs. Sheamus wouldn't be bad.
At least Barrett managed to win a match before he loses the belt to Ambrose. Would it have hurt so much just to let him beat a load of midcarders clean for a couple of months?
ReplyDeleteAs reigns of terror go, Rusev's has been pretty shitty. He beat Sin Cara fifteen thousand times, took six months to shake off Jack Swagger, and eventually beat the Big Show who's a heel now and nobody likes anyway. Plus The Rock bitched him out, and Cena left him laying. He's such a loooooooooser.
ReplyDeleteYeah, but he did all that while insulting America, so it must be STOPPED.
ReplyDeleteTo be fair, Goldberg beat Jerry Flynn 80,000 times before he challenged Hogan for the world title.
ReplyDeleteHe also beat Saturn and Raven. They at least are at Swaggers level.
ReplyDeleteAnd MONGO.
Reigns was acting a lot more heelish I thought, esp while on commentary.
ReplyDeleteI find it hard to see anything other than a three way for wrestlemania now. They do seen to be treating Bryan like a big deal.
So is Brock to end up being the face
ReplyDeleteagainst heel Reigns and heel Bryan?
What would it accomplish to have Wade bury a bunch of guys before Wade himself gets buried?
ReplyDeleteYou obviously can't see Rusev http://giant.gfycat.com/ThoroughImpureAsiaticwildass.gif
ReplyDeleteSure, why the hell not. Its not like there is one right answer for WM at this point.
ReplyDeletehttp://www.imagebam.com/image/d1d276390813361
ReplyDeletehttp://www.imagebam.com/image/f71d30390813379
http://www.imagebam.com/image/d0f2ff390813447
http://www.imagebam.com/image/960c6d390813453
Image 3 wins this round.
ReplyDeleteDusty's looking old :( http://www.imagebam.com/image/55f59b390810194
ReplyDeleteI think it's better to be thin when you're young and fat when you're old, looks wise.
ReplyDeleteSince when did losing to Ambrose in a competitive match equate to being buried?
ReplyDeleteAnd since when did the IC Champion beating midcarders equate to anyone being buried?
Does losing a competitive match these days equate to "burial"?
Goldust's face paint really has come on in leaps and bounds over the years
ReplyDeletePeople throw the word burial around so much these days that I don't think anyone knows what it means.
ReplyDeleteEveryone's buried so far underground you have to bury yourself to see them. Even us, the WWE Universe is buried deep underground, deeper than the fiery pits of hell within the centre of the earth.
ReplyDeleteThe more I watch these late 1990 shows the more hilarious it is that they put the title on Slaughter and main evented WrestleMania 7 with him. Ironically he and Hogan did have a really good match at Mania though. Just shouldn't have been in the main event for the title.
ReplyDeleteI didn't watch Raw so my comment may be way off base, but why would I think Reigns has a chance against Lesnar if he can't convincingly beat Kane?
ReplyDeleteYou became the best poster on the Blog OUTTA NOWHERE.
ReplyDeleteBecause Kane > Brock. Has Brock ever beaten Kane? Exactly.
ReplyDeleteEliminated him from the 2003 Rumble didn't he?
ReplyDeleteI must say, I had not considered this. Consider me won over.
ReplyDeleteNope Taker eliminated him. Carry on.
ReplyDeleteTotally different Kane. This guy has slacks.
ReplyDeleteIf he did, I'm sure a lot of cheating and nefarious activity went on.
ReplyDeleteTransitive property. Taker Owns Kane, Brock Owns Taker ipso facto Brock Owns Kane.
ReplyDeleteRight there with ya.
ReplyDeleteJob Mob 4 life.
ReplyDeleteI wonder if at one point they thought about Macho/Warrior on top but because Warrior was having trouble drawing, and Savage wanted time off, they felt they couldn't.
ReplyDeleteTag title match at Fast Lane?
ReplyDeleteI respect you, bookerman.
If I had my druthers I'd do Hogan/Slaughter with the same build because when you have the chance to turn Slaughter into an Iraqi Sympathizer DO IT!! Hogan avenges America and then do Savage vs. Warrior Career vs. Title in the main event and have Warrior go over.
ReplyDeleteThen immediately start building to Hogan/Warrior II at Summerslam 1991.
Oh, Art! *blushes*
ReplyDeleteI'm starting to feel things I've never felt before! I feel like the Grinch when his heart grows and he begins to understand Christmas.
ReplyDeleteHaha Gobbledy Gooker hatches and crowd immediately starts booing.
ReplyDeleteThe Rumble was panned worldwide, and they didn't bat an eyelash. If anything, they probably feel like, "Would we have got this much attention if we did the right thing? Let's keep doing what they don't want!"
ReplyDeleteThat works.
ReplyDeleteThe whole Bryan thing is just weird. Why is the WWE trying so hard to not make money off the guy? Why is he not getting a lengthy face title run and selling BOTH right and left foam fingers that say "YES!" on them?
ReplyDeleteHogan vs. Warrior with Sid Justice as Enforcer and a freshly debuted Ric Flair at MSG has a lot of interest and moving pieces.
ReplyDeleteIndeed makes man shits that look like Rani.
ReplyDeleteI like Rani, I'm just jealous.
Who wouldn't be? IT'S TIME, IT'S TIME, IT'S RANI TIME!
ReplyDeleteDoes it make Vince hard? If not then go back to the drawing board again.
ReplyDeleteDaniel Bryan's thighs aren't meaty enough.
ReplyDeleteThis is literally the only explanation.
Trolling an audience like that is a dangerous, because although it may get eyes on the product in the short term, once fans realise much of the booking is apparently an effort to spite them, they'll disappear.
ReplyDeleteWatching Survivor Series 1990 and reading Scott's review. He was pretty hard on this show and I thought the opener with Warrior/Perfect, the Million Dollar/Dream and Hogan matches were much better than he did. I do agree with much of his rant about Andre. Vince rode Andre's frame until nearly the very end.
ReplyDeleteWarrior is the Wild Card though! Do you trust him with the title for this long?
ReplyDeleteThey've been doing some good amounts of trolling for near 3 years now. People keep watching. The only way you get them to quit is to leave.
ReplyDeleteThat's true I was thinking about that. Doesn't he disappear for a little while before Summerslam and then split immediately after that show?
ReplyDeleteI'm guessing if he walks into summerslam 1991 to drop the title to Hogan he holds Vince up for a lot more money..
I've watched about 5 minutes of Raw since last August. Life seems better. Join me.
ReplyDeleteThese are all great comments.
ReplyDeleteI'm right there with you man. I've watched every PPV this year but as far as Raw goes I watched from January-May and then just a random segment or match on YouTube from then on. I'm happy with my choices.
ReplyDelete"an increasingly intoxicated Average Joe Everyman"
ReplyDeleteWooooHooooooo!! I HAVE A CHARACTER TRAIT!!!
I love the Hogan / Dibiase team match. Ted and Jake are just in the zone all match.
ReplyDeleteI too have watched most of the PPVs on the network, but next to nothing on Raw. The less I watch of Raw, the more interesting the PPVs are because I'm not burned out by the product.
ReplyDeleteI'm not sure how anyone can watch a full 3 hour Raw.
ReplyDeleteNot just a full 3 hour Raw but 3 hour Raws every week! I can't comprehend the strength it must take to do that.
ReplyDeleteYou're a great comment.
ReplyDeleteThat was supposed to be insulting, but didn't work.
Matt Perri apparently does it every week.
ReplyDeleteI like his reviews, but the dude must have either lost a bet and has some sick fetish.
I'll ask again later but what's the consensus on when the original WWF boom ended? Consensus for end of the Attitude Era boom is WrestleMania 17. What's considered the end of the first boom?
ReplyDeleteWatching these shows it feels like Mania 6 or Summerslam 1990 are the end of the party.
Perri seems like a guy with some sick fetishes.
ReplyDeleteWarrior's title reign flopped badly, however they never really gave him a strong feud or opponent.
ReplyDeleteI think Vince saw the writing on the wall and wanted that belt off Warrior pronto.
ReplyDeleteHis first SNME after winning the title he went on at the 45 minute slot which is usually where the time filling squashes go and he defended against Haku.
ReplyDeleteWarrior and Diesel are the two biggest examples of title reigns booked to fail.
Then Warrior's first big PPV defense is against Rick Rude who he not only faced two previous times on PPV(seems like a lot now but back then that was tons) but Warrior also faced him a month previous at SNME and WON by Countout!
I'll take it as a compliment!
ReplyDeleteShit man stop using logic and business sense to ruin my fantasy!
ReplyDeleteRude was awesome, but just not a threat at all. Warrior should have gotten the Earthquake feud.
ReplyDeleteFor sure. Rude's matches with Warrior were good but at that point it had been done enough. Warrior needed a big threat for his first PPV feud.
ReplyDeleteDamn right you'll take it.
ReplyDeleteBecause he doesn't move the needle or merchandise.
ReplyDeleteYeah, like being married, AMIRITE?!
ReplyDeleteURRITE!
ReplyDeleteThere's a sexual tension here that's mildly disturbing.
ReplyDeleteSeems to me the audience is gradually eroding. It certainly isn't growing. Anyhow, you're right, which is why I haven't watched more than a few minutes of Raw in nearly a year.
ReplyDeleteI'm also married.
ReplyDelete.......... :/
FETISH FREAK!
ReplyDeleteThe match with Kane is just backdrop, he's focused on his match against Bryan. The Kane match is literally filler used to continue the story of Bryan vs reigns. Hell, Bryan can't beat big show convincingly so by your logic he doesn't have a chance against lesnar.
ReplyDeleteNo Heel Brock will face Heel Reigns and Heel Bryan...things get trick once the true faces of the company HHH/Kane/Show do a run in.
ReplyDeleteI think it's called sexual harrassment actually.
ReplyDeleteNovember '90 Saturday Night's Main Event and then it's on to 1991 daddy!
ReplyDeleteThis blog needs a sexual punchup.
ReplyDeleteThat's 89. And the booking in that match is horrible.
ReplyDeleteI think it's even before that. Once the MegaPowers story was completely done is when I would consider the 80's boom pretty over. Everything else from Warrior, to the Quake/Hogan feud, is just residual.
ReplyDeleteIf we worked this all though, I'm sure it would turn out that logically only HHH can beat anyone.
ReplyDeleteI'd also go along with post WM6. I mean at 6 they advertised 7 being at LA Colosseum..they had to move it to the barely over 16,000 sports memorial
ReplyDeleteSo you'd say WrestleMania 5 was the peak of the wave and the next year and a half was more them riding that wave until it died?
ReplyDelete:(
ReplyDeleteIn brighter news, the wife is now 32 weeks along.
It was the first PPV I ever watched so I have a soft spot for it.
ReplyDeleteHey! Didn't know that. That's good news. Congratulations!
ReplyDeleteThat baby's basically ready to go!
ReplyDeletePretty close. PAPOOSE TO GO!
ReplyDeleteWait. No. That's troubling.
Which is reasonable logic. If Bryan can't beat the Big Show, whom Brock just destroyed, why do I think Bryan has a chance to beat Brock? And great, the Kane match is filler...if Roman is the guy, he should crush Kane.
ReplyDeleteRegarding the second boom, I always felt that ended at Wm19. To me Wm17 is the peak of Attitude, the absolute height they would reach. After that they still had a lot of the same stars, stacked roster and style, the real changes didn't show up until after Wm19 when all the vestiges of Attitude finally dimmed out.
ReplyDeleteYou could be onto something. 1989 they started to make some dumb booking choices like Zeus in the main event and Hogan didn't really have as many strong angles until Warrior at Mania.
ReplyDeleteThanks. I was thinking of flying my wife to Ohio to have the baby and flying her back because I'd rather be eaten by rabid monkeys then have my baby be born in South Carolina, but I don't think that's safe....so shit.
ReplyDeleteTo use MattIndeeds analysis I think Mania 17 was the peak of the wave and they rode that for the next year or so.
ReplyDeleteThey're turning Bryan heel? I thought it was obvious that Reigns has been turning?I was at the show, Bryan is crazy over, reigns gets about 60% boos and 40% cheers.
ReplyDeleteThen Show turns heel, just for old times sake.
ReplyDeleteYep. And yeah, Hogan/Warrior did huge business, but it was a one-time deal.
ReplyDeleteI guess Cena was able to r'eyes above hate.
ReplyDeleteYup, agreed. Those next two years were still very much Attitude feel. It wasn't until early 03 that the crowds started to thin out too. The ratings went down in 2001, but the shows were still packed and crowds fired up.
ReplyDeleteReminds me of the episode of 30 Rock where Jack is in Canada when his GF goes into labor and they both desperately want to make it back to America in time for the birth so their child isn't born in Canada.
ReplyDeleteHoss.
ReplyDeleteAnd if you don't watch 30 Rock you have no idea what I just said so ignore my mania.
ReplyDeleteI've seen every episode, and I feel exactly like Jack.
ReplyDeleteYeah they still did some solid numbers on PPV in 2001/2002 too. InVasion, Summerslam 01, Survivor Series 01, Rumble 02, and Mania 18 in particular did well if I'm remembering my numbers right.
ReplyDeleteTimely reference then! I've been thinking about going through 30 Rock again because I binged all the episodes a few years ago but have never seen them more than once. Feels like it's time.
ReplyDeleteYup for sure. I see Attitude as a mountain that started in late 96, peaked in spring 2001 and hit the bottom again in spring 2003.
ReplyDeleteFirst boom, of course, was when Hogan returned. It really took off with the the Rock n Wrestling tie in and peaked at WM3 and ended at WM6. Then things treaded water thru Hart's reigns, the New Generation and the beginning of the Attitude Era, which I date it as the fall of 1996 and took off at WM14. Attitude Era peaked at WM17 when WCW & ECW were deceased. And the Attitude Era ended with WM19, which HHH, Cena, Orton, Batista and Lesnar were your Top 5.
ReplyDeleteYeah, I want to do that too. That and Parks & Rec. I'm definitely re-watching it since it's the last season and all.
ReplyDeleteI've watched Park & Rec a disgusting amount of times all the way through lol. My default mode is putting Parks & Rec or Sunny on Netflix.
ReplyDeleteThis season of Parks has been amazing. Sad it's going away.
Agreed. I've loved this season. They're wrapping up every side character really well. Seems like something important or good happens to someone in every episode.
ReplyDeleteOh this isn't a SNME but rather "The Main Event" so it's a bit shorter. I'll be onto 91 faster than I realized!
ReplyDeleteRusev needs to beat Cena much more than Cena needs to be Rusev.
ReplyDeleteShame KANE wasn't around back then!
ReplyDeleteSting has had all those years in the rafters to learn Final Cut Pro.
ReplyDeleteI hope they make the Sting vs HHH WM match "Spin the Wheel, Make the Deal".
ReplyDeleteHaku was that generation's Kane.
ReplyDeleteLike an Emo in his mom's basement.
ReplyDeleteCoal Miner's Glove match, FTW.
ReplyDeleteBusiness did apparently tank so badly with Warrior on top that Vince made the decision almost immediately to move back to Hogan via Slaughter. So it's possible the boom would have lasted longer had Hogan won at Mania 6. The boom was all about Hogan, I guess, just like Attitude ended when Austin became goofy heel Austin.
ReplyDeleteRock left and Triple H got injured so they rushed Benoit and Jericho to the top to plug the hold until the Invasion began. Didn't do amazing business but it made for amazing TV and the crowds were hot so I'll take it.
ReplyDeleteAnother thing! Rock's leaving, Austin goes heel and people are dying to cheer Hunter so they align him with Austin. I understand the long game was eventually turning HHH face through the partnership with Austin but they'd already done the long term feud with those two, people were ready to cheer Hunter NOW and Rock was leaving and they needed a new top guy.
Shouldn't have aligned the two. Again, those are my favorite three months of TV but they made a mistake aligning Hunter with Austin. Should have feuded them right away.
It could be suggested that I'm your supplier as well.
ReplyDelete*a cloud of mist appears on the road to BoD Wrestlemania. It sees a sign marked "Bod Fast Lane, Exit 320. The mist hits the off ramp*
ReplyDeleteand its apt. APT!!!!
ReplyDeleteHarry Fact: He's apparently retired...
ReplyDeletethat said, still a fun read Brian.
ReplyDeleteHarry has not retired. Harry is in line for a push!
ReplyDeletejust busting stones, Brian. I still really enjoy the reads. And when he does become more active, I'd be happy to supply some RP material for him if you wish...
ReplyDeleteGo for it. You will be featured in next week's BoD Fastlane in a backstage role.
ReplyDelete