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Monday Nitro - September 27, 1999

Monday Nitro #207
Date: September 27, 1999
Location: Phillips Arena, Atlanta, Georgia
Attendance: 11,919
Commentators: Tony Schiavone, Bobby Heenan

Reviewed by Tommy Hall


It's time to continue into this downward spiral that Nitro has become. Tonight they have a major six man tag with Hogan/Hart/Flair teaming up to face Luger/Sting/Page. Keep that in mind. This is one of the few times that the show has set up a major match a week in advance and actually hyped it up. I'll come back to that later. Let's get to it.


We open with Hogan arriving in a limo to sign autographs for fans. Sting sneaks up on him and speaks in a kid's voice for a distraction. Hogan, ever the genius, falls for it and gets hit in the knee with the ball bat. They're changing the main event aren't they?

Quick recap of last week's major events.

The announcers preview the show and oh man Heenan does not sound good. This could be a long night.

Tenay tries to talk to Hogan but Hulk gets inside anyway.

Sting says he isn't done with Hogan tonight.

Before the first match, Heenan goes on a RANT, ripping into WCW for being a mess and telling him how to talk. From now on the Brain is back and he isn't putting up with this nonsense. That's quite out of nowhere.

TV Title: Ernest Miller vs. Chris Benoit

The ring looks WAY bigger tonight for some reason. Like bigger than a modern WWE ring. Cat is challenging after asking for a title shot and doing his usual schtick. Benoit chops away to start and Miller immediately bails to the floor. Back in and Chris misses a charge into the corner and things slow down. Miller has “Godfather” on his tights. I would make a joke about that being a lawsuit but it probably was at this point. More kicking and choking ensues as Miller is rapidly running out of offense to go through. A sunset flip gets two for the champ but he walks into another superkick.

For a change of pace, Sonny gets in some kicks on the floor. The lack of Revolution backup tells you all you need to know about Miller and Onoo's standings. Back in and Benoit ducks the Feliner and scores with a clothesline, only to have Sonny try a choke. Even the referee doesn't think enough of Miller to make it a DQ. Miller's loaded shoe kicks Onoo by mistake and it's the German suplex followed by the Swan Dive and Crossface to retain the title.

Rating: D+. It's nice to see Benoit get a win and for the TV Title to be defended as it was intended to be for years. Miller losing is always a fun thing to see, which really does make him decent as a heel. Yeah he's annoying and limited in the ring, but the point of a heel is to see them get what's coming to them, and that's what you saw here. Nothing great but an acceptable match that the fans could get into.

Sid has chokeslammed and powerbombed a lot of people.

Vampiro vs. Buff Bagwell

Thank goodness the Clowns are gone. Buff, now minus the mustache, takes a kick to the face early on and Vampiro stomps away a lot. In the vein of Ernest Miller, Vampiro goes up top for a kick this time to really vary up his offense. Bagwell finally starts going with a monkey flip before nailing him with a clothesline. Vampiro's hurricanrana is countered with a powerbomb and they head outside with Vampiro sending him into the steps.

A chinlock goes nowhere as Heenan rips into Bagwell for the new facial hair. Buff fights up but walks into the Nail in the Coffin, which is just a regular move now. Vampiro misses a guillotine legdrop and Buff starts his comeback, only to walk into an enziguri. They head to the corner for a superplex but Buff shoves him off and hits the Blockbuster for the pin. So NOW Buff's face push starts and will take him up the card right?

Rating: D. These lower midcard matches are death for Nitro. There's no reason for them to be taking place, they don't go anywhere, and the best part about them are Heenan's rants about how stupid so much of this stuff is. That being said, I'll take this a hundred times in a row over the Clowns in the ring again.

The announcers talk about Goldberg for a bit and we hear a voice (which sounds quite a bit like Dustin Rhodes) call out to Tony. There's a window shown and the voice says the darkness is coming. Well if the best it can do is go after Tony Schiavone, it won't be lasting long.

And now, to a funeral parlor for the funeral of Lex Luger. As in the guy in the main event tonight. He's laying in a casket but his ghost appears to describe himself as a great man and a great champion. We cut to a cemetery and a woman in black, presumably Elizabeth, throws flowers into a grave. It's off to the arena with the woman in black being revealed as Elizabeth of course. She comes to the ring to reveal Lex Luger, who is officially renamed as the Total Package. Same guy and the same gear, but now he doesn't have wrist tape. Literally, identical other than the tape.

Hogan is having his knee looked at when Sting comes in and nails him with the bat again.

Dean Malenko vs. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Douglas tells Dean to take care of this guy but Dean doesn't want “his kind of help”. Saturn and Benoit are cool with this decision and leave but Shane gives a look that says “well screw you then.” Mysterio sends the Animals to the back and we get a one on one match. They start fast as you would expect by trading shoulders and armdrags into a standoff for one of the best exchanges WCW has had in months.

Malenko is sent to the apron and they head up top for a crash out to the floor. Back in and Rey escapes a reverse suplex into a rollup for two but his springboard hurricanrana attempt is countered in a big sitout powerbomb. A tilt-a-whirl backbreaker gets two and the Cloverleaf goes on, but we need to watch Rick Steiner and Sid arrive. Mysterio gets to the ropes and grabs a crucifix for the fast pin before Sid can come out and ruin another good match.

Rating: B-. Of course this match doesn't get any time because we need to see Hogan getting hit in the knee again because once wasn't enough. Again, when you just have the talented wrestlers wrestling, the show gets so much easier to sit through. I could have watched another ten minutes of this but that's simply not allowed in WCW.

Malenko shakes his hand post match and leaves as a good sport.

Goldberg vs. Hugh Morrus

Time for an anniversary match. After the full on entrance, Goldberg busts out a very good looking dropkick and a superkick to send Morrus out to the floor. A hard whip sends Morrus into the steps and Goldberg takes him back inside for a powerslam. Heenan continues to be a huge Goldberg fan, even now that the filter is off. Jimmy tries to offer a distraction and Hugh sends Goldberg outside, allowing Sid to sneak in for a chair shot to the back.

A top rope elbow gets two for Morrus but he's a bit shaken up from the impact. Stomping and choking ensues as Goldberg's leg is bleeding. Morrus slams Goldberg to quickly stop a comeback bid and loads up No Laughing Matter. In a repeat of Goldberg's first match, he kicks out at two and hits the usual for the pin.

Rating: C. This was far better than I was expecting, even though it wasn't all that great of a match. The Sid stuff is already old but at least they're pointing at something instead of just having him beat up random luchadors. Morrus was good for a decent match when he needed to pull one off, which is why he wound up with his upcoming punny name.

Goldberg wants Sid.

An ambulance leaves the arena, presumably with Hogan inside.

More Nitro Girls Search stuff with good looking women who still aren't Stacy Keibler.

Evan Karagias vs. Berlyn

Penzer reminds us that the fans are not to make any noise during Berlyn's match. You can tell Bischoff isn't in Tony's ear as he points out that demanding something means Berlyn doesn't get what he wants. Berlyn hammers away in the corner but Evan comes back with some generic cruiserweight style offense.

The evil German hides away but pokes Evan in the eye and slugs him down even more. A running knee and nice overhead belly to belly have Karagias in trouble but he's still able to crotch Berlyn on the top. Evan hits a high cross body for two as the announcers keep focusing on the bodyguard. Said bodyguard nails Evan in the back, allowing his boss to get the win with a neckbreaker.

Rating: D. Berlyn is going absolutely nowhere and it's pretty clear that they're shifting the focus over to the bodyguard instead. I can't say I blame them as he at least has an intimidating look and could cause some damage. Other than that though, there isn't much to get fired up about for either guy as Berlyn is just horribly boring in the ring.

Berlyn goes after Evan again post match but Brad Armstrong makes the save, only to get beaten down as well. I like Armstrong, but he's the clearest sign possible that Berlyn is done.

Goldberg breaks into Sid's locker room and steals his keys from an attendant.

David Flair can't find Torrie.

Tag Team Titles; Harlem Heat vs. Kendall Windham/Barry Windham

The Windhams are challenging for Heaven knows what reason. Tony continues to screw up continuity by saying Booker was a multi sport athlete in high school. This goes against Tenay's often repeated line about Booker only being in the marching band. Somehow I have a feeling I'm the only person to pick up on that. Booker superkicks Kendall to start and hammers him down with ease. It's almost like one guy is a Hall of Famer and the other guy is there because he has a famous brother.

Off to Barry vs. Stevie with the latter in control as we take an early break. Back with Hennig working over Booker on the floor before throwing him in for a beating from Kendall. A DDT drops Booker and everything quickly breaks down. In the melee, Stevie hits Kendall in the knee with a title belt behind Booker's back, giving T. the pin.

Rating: D+. These teams have fought so many times that there's nothing left for them to do. As I've said before, there are so many teams around WCW but this is the only combination we ever get. A simple change of pace on the booking staff could do wonders for this company, which we're inching towards every single day. Whether that's a good thing or not is yet to be determined.

Goldberg calls a towing company. Your top star of the future ladies and gentlemen.

Rick Steiner vs. Van Hammer

This was supposed to be Hammer getting a US Title shot but Sid must be afraid of vengeance from Slamboree 1993. Rick Steinerlines him to the floor and Rick laughs as he beats the tar out of Hammer. Back in and Hammer keeps getting beaten up before grabbing a quick Flashback for his first offense. Charles Robinson breaks up the cobra clutch slam because Heaven forbid Rick Steiner have to look bad for more than ten seconds. Steiner tells Robinson to look the other way so he can kick Hammer low, setting up the Bulldog for the pin.

Rating: F. So in other words, WCW built up a match (kind of) for the US Title but instead of giving us something that might involve a new guy getting into the title picture, we got ANOTHER Rick Steiner squash that no one wants to see. What in the world does anyone see in this guy that makes them want to push him down our throats as more and more people change the channel?

Here's Bret for a chat. He got hit by a ball bat a few weeks ago but he's just a little banged up. He's back in the ring and thinks Hulk Hogan is the Elvis of wrestling. Seriously? I don't really disagree with the statement but it's not something Bret would ever say. Cue Flair, who Bret immediately praises as well. That's not quite as much of a stretch but still doesn't fit. Flair says they need to take care of Sting/Luger/Page tonight and takes off the jacket to pose. He'll ride Liz too if she gets involved. I can't say I blame him after how she looked earlier.

Heenan talks about the mask vs. hair match tonight and says no one cares if Kidman is bald.

Torrie is in the Filthy Animals' locker room when David calls her. He doesn't like the other male voices and hangs up. Dude, you had her for like six months. Go out on that high note because you knew it wasn't going to last forever.

Sid is told Goldberg stole his car keys.

Perry Saturn vs. Konnan

Konnan hiptosses him down but gets caught in an armbar for his efforts. A superkick staggers Konnan but he blocks a suplex attempt. That's some of the hardest work I've seen Konnan do in years. The rolling clothesline is countered into a Tazzplex and it's back to the armbar, sending Konnan into the ropes. Who would think a match between two bald guys could be this watchable? Back up and a double clothesline puts both guys down as we take a break.

We come back with Saturn cranking on the arm again, sending Konnan right back to the ropes. A top rope elbow gets two for Saturn but Konnan grabs a powerbomb out of nowhere for the same. They head back to the corner with Konnan hitting something like a reverse Razor's Edge, setting up his usual finishing sequence. Cue a bunch of luchadors and the Filthy Animals for a big brawl to throw the match out.

Rating: C+. The match was far better than I was expecting but the run-in finish hurt things as usual. Who would have thought Konnan could keep up with someone like Saturn though? That's quite the surprise and a flashback to when Konnan actually could work a decent match. I'd assume this ties into the mask vs. hair match later but given that it's WCW I doubt they've thought it that far through.

Sid goes to his car but doesn't find the keys. He heads back inside as the tow truck arrives.

Post break, the tow truck pulls the car away.

Here's Page for a chat. Page says he's married to the most beautiful woman in the world and that's why the people hate him. He mentions Luger being gone and the Total Package taking his place, only to call him Luger a few seconds later.

Various celebrities are here, including one of the members of ZZ Top.

Quick recap of Psychosis vs. Kidman in the mask vs. hair match which was thrown together by Chavo Guerrero.

Kidman vs. Psychosis

Hair vs. mask and Psychosis has Juventud and Chavo in his corner. Psychosis hammers away on him to start and they're quickly on the floor. The outside stuff goes nowhere so they head back inside where Kidman scores with dropkicks. Psychosis sends him right back outside for a slingshot moonsault but Kidman goes for his mask. That's not the nicest thing in the world to do and pretty out of character for Kidman.

The referee yells at him, allowing Psychosis to get two off a DDT. A dropkick to the side of the head has Kidman in even more trouble and a top rope hurricanrana gets two. The other luchadors get in some cheap shots on Kidman on the floor, setting up a top rope spinwheel kick for another two count. Kidman misses a dropkick but grabs a quick sunset flip. They head to the corner with Psychosis hitting a sitout gordbuster to drop Kidman again but we still don't have a bald guy yet.

Kidman comes back with a powerslam and loads up the Shooting Star, only to have Juventud pulls Psychosis to the floor. Chavo plants Kidman with a tornado DDT for two and Juvy sneaks in with a Juvy Driver for an even closer two. Psychosis is so stunned that he thinks he can powerbomb Kidman. The Filthy Animals come out to take care of the luchadors, allowing the Shooting Star to get rid of the mask and blow the roof off the place. That's kind of a surprising reaction.

Rating: B+. Again, give two talented guys ten minutes to work and let them fly all over the ring before soaking in a great reaction from the crowd. This will of course be followed by the fans not caring about the main event because of whatever reason you care to pick for this show. This was a really fun and fast paced match though with some great near falls.

Kidman quickly rips the mask off and there's a huge brawl.

Sting, Luger and Page are coming to the ring. Luger stops dead and starts chuckling until Page says the red light is still on and Luger keeps walking. Just......yeah.

Bret Hart/Ric Flair vs. Sting/Total Package/Diamond Dallas Page

Because this show clearly has enough power to pull a bait and switch. Sting shoulders Flair down to start before hitting a gorilla press. Just like last week, if you watched this match as a stand alone, you would never know Sting had recently turned. Flair avoids a Stinger Splash so it's off to Luger vs. Hart. The Canadian takes over as Heenan makes more jokes that don't make sense.

Bret starts up the Five Moves but Page breaks up the Sharpshooter before it can do much. Everything breaks down for a bit with Sting nailing a running clothesline. Tony brings up Liz sending an official memo to the announcers, forbidding them from calling her man Luger. It's a shame he doesn't bring up Bret injuring all three guys last year because that might make things more interesting.

Luger chokes Bret in the corner before Sting draws in Flair, allowing Hart to get double teamed. A double clothesline puts Sting and Hart down and it's a hot tag to bring in Flair. It quickly settles down to Flair suplexing Sting and going for the leg. Hart takes out Page and Luger but Kimberly sneaks Luger the ball bat which nails Flair for the DQ.

Rating: D. Totally standard tag match which wasn't even advertised because WCW is so much better than WWF about giving what they advertise. Remember when that was Tony's big talking point every week? Nothing to see here as this was more running around in circles before the “money” matches at the pay per view. Just more dull stuff here that didn't advance anything.

David Flair runs in and gets beaten down. We cut to the back where we see an empty ambulance and Hogan limps out as his partners and David are destroyed. Hogan cleans house, gets the bat, and sends the villains running. Screw off WCW. Seriously, it's 1999 and Hogan is still destroying everyone while Flair and Hart look like mere mortals. Was there ANY reason to not have Hogan in this match?

Sid goes to his car.....and it's been completely crushed. He shouts for Goldberg as we go off the air and I shout about why Sid was actually in the arena despite having nothing to do tonight.

Overall Rating: C. There are some very good moments on this show but the bad ones drag it back down to reality. The same problems continue to plague this show: a main event with no heat and Goldberg being wasted on a feud people don't really want to see while Rick Steiner suddenly has match making power and gets to pick who he beats up in the ring without ever selling for more than five seconds. Two of the three big matches being changed didn't help either, which brings me back to something I brought up at the beginning.

So with the big main event match announced in advance, here are the final ratings for the shows this week. Monday Night Raw: 6.8. Monday Nitro: 3.0. To put this in perspective, back on Christmas night 1995, Raw only beat Nitro by 2.5. On that night, Nitro wasn't on television. From what I can tell, this is the second largest margin when both shows were on in their regular time slots in the entirety of the Wars so far. Of note, the only time that beat it was built around the return of Hulk Hogan. Somehow, neither week taught WCW a thing and that's a big reason why you don't see Nitro every Monday night.


Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with wrestling books for under $4 at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Comments

  1. 1999 Heel Rick Steiner was pretty tough to sit through.

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  2. In Ryder's case, WWE knows he has a big social media following and should he go elsewhere -- either another wrestling company or any other pursuit -- he can use that to that company's advantage the way WWE never has.

    Had WWE released Ryder circa 2012, he could've helped TNA quite a bit. I'm not saying he would've made them competitive with WWE, but he could've helped the company grow. Now I'd say it's too late because Ryder is damaged goods in a way that he wasn't three or four years ago.

    As for a guy like JTG... beats the hell out of me. Rumor has it that a lot of guys were kept on during Linda's Senate runs simply because WWE didn't want bad publicity for firing anybody. Why that lasted until 2014 for some guys doesn't make much sense though.

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  3. Debbie Downer! Wah waaaahhh

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  4. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:13 AM

    Including 6 title changes in a row from 94-99.

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  5. WWE could have Samoa Joe "invade" RAW as the last great NWA warrior. First night, Triple H would knock him out with a sledgehammer.

    The next day TNA doubles their offer and re-signs him.

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  6. A week later Joe loses to Zack Ryder and TNA triples their offer.

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  7. I read that and think they might have been referencing something on Reddit but I'm not sure.

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  8. and he wrestled guys like Kurt Angle, Sting, Jeff Jarrett, MVP, Kevin Nash, Lashley and other former WWE/WCW guys. It's not like he spent his career wrestling Alex Shelly, AJ Styles, and Chris Hero his entire careeer.

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  9. If the WWE steals my idea of a hillbilly team called Skeeter & Slop Muldoon, I am all for it!

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  10. What are these "bad indie habits," anyway? Have they ever really explained that?
    And yeah, I think the time for Joe in WWE has passed, especially with Owens there in the same role Joe would've had. They'd do better throwing money at Morrison, since they could use the star power (but then again, this is the company that seems to be keeping Orton and Sheamus off TV on purpose before Mania, so there you go).

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  11. Both Owens and Zayn are 30, five years younger than Joe. That's a huge difference. NXT has plenty of time to work out their "bad indie habits."

    Owens and Zayn have been in NXT for quite a while. That's far more experience working in front of WWE-style cameras than working in TNA.

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  12. Yeah, it was sheer coincidence because it was taped two days before the bombings and then aired later that day. UPN put a disclaimer and then Hassan was taken off TV and essentially killed off by the Undertaker on PPV.

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  13. I always liked Ross and Bob Caudle as a team. They made every match seem like an actual athletic contest. Personally I don't need a heel announcer. Just give me a color guy and a play by play guy and that's it.

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  14. ESPN has already begun the fellating of Duke/UNC.

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  15. NXT is one of the centerpieces of the Network. He's basically demeaning his own Network subscribers by referring to them as hardcores that need a bone thrown to. It'd be like coming right out and publicly saying babyfaces win at house shows to keep the marks happy.

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  16. Dixie: "He's an ex-WWE guy? Why didn't you say so? Double whatever we offered him!"

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  17. Aren't they still grasping at straws over "Deflategate"

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  18. Cheaters gonna cheat.

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  19. Awesome night of Flash, Agent Carter, and Parks last night, tonight Duke/UNC, NXT, Arrow, and Sunny. This looks to be a really nice week

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  20. Only if you read it like a Negative Nancy. Look at it as a Positive Peter. Vince is saying:

    "I know this is a small, but devoted group of fans who like old-school wrestling. Since these are the type of fans that typically order the Network, we've decided to give them original content that caters to what they like."

    If he was such an asshole he wouldn't put NXT on the Network to begin with or let Triple H run it like an old territory.

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  21. Hey guys! Sorry I'm late, but I was trapped under one of Samoa Joe's tits.


    So sticky. So, so sticky.

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  22. And people like ve it because it's a well booked entertaining show full of talent. Vince basically said its not the kind of entertainment he wants on RAW, that's just for us smark folk. Give all those people shelling $100 for RAW more KANE and Big Show

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  23. Except when no cheating took place.

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  24. To sum up this Daily Thread for people just joining us, there are about 37 unlikely scenarios presented below that involve Samoa Joe being signed by WWE, including ones that involve an immediate main event feud with John Cena.

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  25. Now they're onto FellateGate

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  26. South Park doing something like this with Al-Qaeda was awesome.

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  27. Exactly, and Titu O'Neil was 35 when he debuted on the Main Roster, Joe is 36 and a way better worker (and Samoan, and friend with Cena)

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  28. And one post about being stuck under his tits.

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  29. Disappointed in the smarky New Yorkers not chanting rooster when Taylor is out there doing jobs.

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  30. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:26 AM

    Your summation left out my SummerSlam 1991 viewing. I take offense.

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  31. Here is scenario #38:
    WWE signs Joe as part of the ring crew and he does that for the rest of his career.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Sid Justice was a better name than Sycho Sid too.

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  33. Mine is when Okada was renamed Okato and used as his sidekick http://i.imgur.com/2MX63es.jpg

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  34. Edited to reflect your contribution, sir.

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  35. Thanks for the recap. My two cents: I give zero shits about Samoa Joe and certainly not begging to see him in the E

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  36. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:28 AM

    RIP Mayor Gunderson.

    "We're here under direct orders from Mayor Gunderson's dog"

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  37. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:28 AM

    YA ha!

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  38. Ivan Koloff?!!!??!!! Alright!

    http://vignette3.wikia.nocookie.net/spinpasta/images/5/50/Nobody-cares-spongebob.jpg

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  39. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:29 AM

    You added Raw into your chronological viewing?

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  40. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:30 AM

    He ended Bruno's reign!

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  41. Lol I was laughing so much in the first ep I totally missed Ben saying "winter is coming" when he was knighted.

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  42. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:30 AM

    Hahaha is that what I said? I couldn't hear I had to turn up the tube. Such an amazing hour of TV.

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  43. That's PRO WRASSLIN'! Nobody cares about PRO WRASSLIN', PAL!

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  44. I would guess Joe makes his way around ROH, PWG, a Japanese promotion or two. I'd be surprised if New Japan used him and his WWE shot came and went almost ten years ago.

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  45. If you want some good rabbit-hole reading, I recommend the Money Dear Boy and Awesome Dear Boy pages at TV Tropes, lots of good quotes from actors who love their jobs or love money. I enjoy Paul Bettany saying he almost felt guilty getting a truck load of money for his two pages of dialogue in the Iron Man movies

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  46. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:32 AM

    SummerSlam 1991 is in the books. Great show. Good 6-Man opener, Bret/Perfect is only really good imo but everything from Perfect's pre match interview through the entrances and Bret hugging his parents is tremendous and extremely memorable.

    Dibiase/Virgil is well done too and is a good match, the Mountie skits are funny, LOD wins the tag titles, and Macho gets married.

    Onto Survivor Series 1991!

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  47. I loved Megadeth, but holy shit Mustain was better on heroin.

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  48. Joe's potential future according to this thread: NXT wrestler, debuting at Fast Lane and costing Bryan the match setting up a Mania match between the two, Air Conditioner repairman, ring crew for WWE, Bullet Club member, returning to ROH, touring the independents.....

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  49. That's what drives me insane about it. They don't see any real value in a guy, but it's obvious they see someone else having value in a guy.

    So let's keep him, for no reason, until we think he has no value to anyone.

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  50. Unrelated to the news items, but I'm actually hoping HHH goes over Sting at Mania. The Authority isn't going away anyway, Sting's win would mean nothing (other than a Mania match at 32 against Taker? gross), Sting is washed up as it gets, and HHH might as well be used to put over you get guys if he's gonna lose once a year.


    So yeah, Let's Go Trips! Bury another WCW loser.

    ReplyDelete
  51. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:34 AM

    http://i.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2014/08/10/article-2721258-206AEDFE00000578-58_634x462.jpg

    ReplyDelete
  52. I hope this week’s Sunny is better that
    last week’s. Last week’s was the worst I’ve ever seen. I was so upset.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:34 AM

    That I cannot abide. Way better than Frank's Brother.

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  54. Joe's prime was a long time ago. It's really a shame, he'll go down as one of the biggest missed potentials in TNA.

    He still has something to over the indys but I'll be shocked if he ends up in NXT

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  55. Fine, I'll do a realistic one.

    "Samoa Joe signs with WWE in partnership with The Girl Scout's of the USA"

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  56. The promos cut by Jake, Savage and Flair on SSeries 91 are *legendary*

    ReplyDelete
  57. Stranger in the AlpsFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:36 AM

    http://www.dailymotion.com/strangerinthealps



    If you're patient, and wait about 30 minutes or so, the episode of Wrestling Challenge from the weekend of 11/8/86 is currently being uploaded. George Steele & The Junkyard Dog in tag action; revisiting the footage of Slick selling the contract of Hercules to Bobby Heenan (which is one of the greatets all-time heel interactions EVER), then Hercules takes to the ring with Heenan; Hillbilly Jim & Billy Jack Haynes in tag action; Butch Reed gets in the ring as do The Islanders; a replay of the Roddy Piper/Mr. Fuji match from the 11/1/86 Superstars, and Paul Orndorff and Bobby Heenan vists the Snake Pit as guests.


    Up next will be the 11/11/86 episode of Prime Time, followed by Capt. Lou Albano's farewell on Superstars and Wrestling Challenge

    ReplyDelete
  58. I can't even remember that... We're working our way through a rewatch and are up to Season 4. I rarely watch stuff more than once.

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  59. RoH is the most feasible, followed by WWE ring crew member

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  60. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:37 AM

    Frank's Brother is Season 7. It's gahbage.

    ReplyDelete
  61. I still stand by my non-wrestler AC repairman fantasy booking.

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  62. On a side note: Congrats on the win for Kill Hal Gill this week. There won't be any Sunday drama this time around...

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  63. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:42 AM

    It's been an age since I've seen it.

    ReplyDelete
  64. This was a desperate time for WCW and you are going to see even worse shows than this in the not too distant future - especially once Jarrett and the Harris Boys arrive.

    You will get the one off - "anything can happen" - April 2000 New Blood Show which was massively exciting at the time but in hindsight all the wrong people got over.

    Loving the reviews though and hope you go until the end.

    ReplyDelete
  65. That was the funniest thing ive read here in ages.

    ReplyDelete
  66. ....having people stuck under his tits.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Of course. I include everything. When ECW Hardcore TV and Nitro start, I'll watch them too.

    ReplyDelete
  68. Stranger in the AlpsFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:43 AM

    Here's my take on the Samoa Joe news:


    He ends up as the third Uso, Jimmy JoJo Junior Shabadoo Uso. He says "Ohh" when he should say "Oooos".

    ReplyDelete
  69. That's the stupidest name I ever heard.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Honestly, TNA is better off without Joe. If the money that would have went to him went to Drew Galloway instead, then TNA made the right decision.

    ReplyDelete
  71. Stranger in the AlpsFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:45 AM

    *Samoa Joe runs off crying*


    "Hey, Jimmy JoJo!"

    ReplyDelete
  72. I remember that promo. I guess he answered each person's question 10 times for absolute clarification.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Him and Steen could dress in cut-off tees and cargo pants and be called the Moving Crew Express.

    ReplyDelete
  74. NXT is a whole different deal than WWE now and it is run as a separate promotion. I think it is very likely that could see Joe pop into NXT.

    ReplyDelete
  75. Drew doesn't have the luscious tits that Joe has.


    NO BUYS.

    ReplyDelete
  76. They have Taryn Terrell for that

    ReplyDelete
  77. Upvote for Summerslam 91

    ReplyDelete
  78. Charismatic eNegro Jef VinsonFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:48 AM

    This is the PERFECT scenario for Joe.

    1.) Team him with Stevie Richards.
    2.) Put them in black suits, sunglasses and hats.
    3.) Let them drive to the ring in an old police car.
    4.) Use a WWE-styled variation of this as their theme: http://youtu.be/VnG0JjzF7HY
    5.) Hilarity will ensue

    ReplyDelete
  79. Watching Joe in TNA recently, he is just a shell of his former self.

    ReplyDelete
  80. "Tears.... in their eyes!"

    ReplyDelete
  81. Joe's been "useless" for a couple years now. I'd love to see him hit the indies for a few months/a year, get himself into "better" shape, and have a 2015 to rival AJ Styles' 2014. And much like Styles, it's more because I like the guy over my negative opinion on TNA.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Or

    Check this out

    He comes in as 2maga

    ReplyDelete
  83. "TWOMANGA!"

    ReplyDelete
  84. Agreed. Of course years and years of inept TNA booking and management absolutely wasted Joe's entire career, but he is what he is now, and yes a guy like Drew Galloway is a much better option for them.

    ReplyDelete
  85. Charismatic eNegro Jef VinsonFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:50 AM

    Kevin Owens is how Joe should have been booked. No gimmicks, or hooks.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Joe looks broken down and is just a blob now. AJ just lacked motivation. I don't think Joe has much left.

    ReplyDelete
  87. 6) Bra Model
    7) ????
    8) Profit.

    ReplyDelete
  88. True, they fucked him all up at the beginning.

    ReplyDelete
  89. Best use of enter sandman: tom leykis theme

    ReplyDelete
  90. When he's sad, someone can be like "Why so blue, maga?"

    ReplyDelete
  91. You know me. Im not a troll. But my god, are they overrated.

    ReplyDelete
  92. And in the middle, and at the end, and every other time they could.

    ReplyDelete
  93. I caught up with TNA last night and they have strung together a nice run of shows in a row. Honestly, after the first show on DA was a bit of a DUD, they have rebounded quite nicely

    ReplyDelete
  94. The past year didn't matter as he was not someone who should have been at the top of the card.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Both in the ring AND on the TV.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Wrestling isn't wrestling without fat guys. We need more fat guys.

    ReplyDelete
  97. Joe trying to do that Uso dive over the top ropes would kill him.

    ReplyDelete
  98. Charismatic eNegro Jef VinsonFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:53 AM

    Joe was fine in the beginning. He was just kicking peoples asses. It wasn't until they kept trying to saddle him with a gimmick that they fucked him up.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Kevin Owens is fat.


    /Farva

    ReplyDelete
  100. Yeah, but they're also 100% not gonna bring anyone into NXT if they think that person is gonna rub off in a negative way on their trainees. As much as NXT might seem like a separate promotion, it's #1 directive is still to feed new guys to WWE. If WWE views Joe as someone with bad habits, or a bad training regime, or a bad attitude who feels entitled because he's spent years on national TV already--- well, that's all gonna far out weigh popping 200 people at Full Sail.


    And it's reasonable to assume those are all negatives that Joe either has or WWE views Joe as having.

    ReplyDelete
  101. RIP Farva

    ReplyDelete
  102. The only good thing about Leykis is that they use his laugh on Carolla.

    ReplyDelete
  103. Is that Scott Steiner looking on in the background?

    Nonetheless, if he's still doing the Val Venis gimmick, I don't want to know what type of "move" he's doing while sitting on that guy's crotch...

    ReplyDelete
  104. YEAH!!!! Fuck those hugely popular and successful songs right in their earholes!


    Hi, Hoss!

    ReplyDelete
  105. I'm halfway through last week's show and it's perfectly acceptable stuff. Aries and Roode was nice classic wrestling. The EC3 stuff is throwaway fluff and anything involving Lashley and Angle is alright. Gauntlet match next week too, and I'm a mark for those.

    ReplyDelete
  106. TNA will most likely use the money the saved from Joe and the catering and use it to sign Mason Ryan.

    ReplyDelete
  107. Stranger in the AlpsFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:58 AM

    *puts towel over head, points to the sky*

    ReplyDelete
  108. Charismatic eNegro Jef VinsonFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:58 AM

    Imagine Joe going to a restaurant and ordering 4 fried chickens and a coke.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Stranger in the AlpsFebruary 18, 2015 at 9:59 AM

    ...aaaaand the epsiode is uploaded. Watch for more uploads within the next 48 hours.

    http://www.dailymotion.com/strangerinthealps

    ReplyDelete
  110. Started listening to the new Shawn Michaels Chris Jericho podcast. I had to turn it off after 5 minutes. It seriously bums me out to hear what a massive Jesus freak weirdo he turned into. I was always such a fan but once he brought up home schooling his poor kids I tapped out. How sad to hear. Still love the guy but yikes. It makes me sad to see him so dumb and broken.

    ReplyDelete
  111. Just cause they're popular don't mean they're good.


    The Macarena was HUGE, along with plenty of other garbage. I'm not saying those two songs are in that category; they're not.

    But, fuck 'em.

    also, Matt.

    lastly, fuck you.

    Love,


    Hoss

    ReplyDelete
  112. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 10:00 AM

    I think Joe splitting is best for both parties. TNA has done all they can with Joe and Joe has done all he can in TNA and has been spinning his wheels.

    This gives TNA a chance with someone new who is motivated and gives Joe a chance at revitalization with a change of scenery.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Stranger in the AlpsFebruary 18, 2015 at 10:00 AM

    But yet, still alive and well, which is the opposite of where he was headed.

    ReplyDelete
  114. New soft boiled egg recipe up for your amusement at

    www.danimalcrossing.com

    Enjoy!

    ReplyDelete
  115. One of my favorite scenes. Aretha tears that shit UP when she sings.

    ReplyDelete
  116. Stranger in the AlpsFebruary 18, 2015 at 10:00 AM

    DAN-EEEEE-MAL!!!!

    ReplyDelete
  117. I didn't say they were good either. I was just stating facts. They were both hugely popular and successful.


    :( So mean.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Damn shame you guys banned him nyuk nyuk

    ReplyDelete
  119. Right there with ya.

    ReplyDelete
  120. I'm picturing Dick Vitale calling 911:


    "I've had an erection for more than four hours, baby!"
    "Did you take Viagra?"
    "The only blue pill I took was a Blue Devil Pill! Maximum dose of the legend Coach K, baby!"


    Dick then keels over and dies.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Fucking gross. Gotta love how he got to live his life abusing every drug, fucking everything within dick's reach, and being a mega asshole--- and now his kids gotta take the punishment of being homeschooled by a psycho and probably not getting vaccinated and shit.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Exchanged one addiction for another.

    ReplyDelete
  123. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 10:01 AM

    Im not religious but honestly some of the absolute nicest people I've ever known were religious and there are worse ways to live your life than following religious teachings so good for him.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Popularity hardly ever equates to quality. Especially in music.

    Ah, it was a stupid concept for a tournament anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Stranger in the AlpsFebruary 18, 2015 at 10:02 AM

    "You guys" as in "someone other than Stranger".


    #DanimalBro

    ReplyDelete
  126. Yeah, but home schooling is fucking terrible. I was home schooled until college. It stunts real learning.

    ReplyDelete
  127. Again, I never said anything about the quality or the songs being good.

    ReplyDelete
  128. If you force your kids into some weird home school Jesus cult your a bad person IMO. These weird Jesus things do more damage than good to society IMO.

    ReplyDelete
  129. http://deadspin.com/1960s-astros-programs-were-weird-1686501644



    TJ: I found Jobber's new favorite baseball team.

    ReplyDelete
  130. Charismatic eNegro Jef VinsonFebruary 18, 2015 at 10:05 AM

    Joe interfering with the DBry/Reigns match and getting DBry/Joe at Wrestlemania would not upset me one bit.

    ReplyDelete
  131. The last thing we need is more weird Jesus freak types though so I have mixed feelings on that.

    ReplyDelete
  132. I imagine the conversation would go something like:

    "Sure, we'll hire you for NXT."
    "NXT? I don't need training I've been wrestling for 15 years."
    "Right. In a promotion that is more B League than our training facility."
    "Oh."

    ReplyDelete
  133. *Worst name

    ReplyDelete
  134. Charismatic eNegro Jef VinsonFebruary 18, 2015 at 10:06 AM

    True but Joe ordering 4 fried chickens and a coke is not out of the realm of impossibility.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 10:06 AM

    It depends on the extent people go. Like I said I've known plenty of deeply religious people who were disgustingly nice and good people.

    Of course there are others who take it too far but I think religion can be a good thing and teach some good lessons.

    Hell I'm not even religious and I went to Catholic high school and my favorite classes were ones centered around religious study.

    ReplyDelete
  136. Yeah, they shouldn't call it "home schooling," they should call it "religious indoctrination because the schools don't think Jesus rode dinosaurs."

    ReplyDelete
  137. Agent Carter: Chief go boom :(

    ReplyDelete
  138. A stuffed shell

    ReplyDelete
  139. Those were the days.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 10:07 AM

    I'm talking his religious beliefs not the home schooling aspect.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Fans pop more for fat guys doing athletic stuff. I reckon if Adrian Neville put on 75lbs of blubber and retained the same moveset he'd be a sensation.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Flair's gloating promo after costing Hogan the title is one of his best EVER. Lays into Hogan, the Little Hulksters, Piper, Jack Tunney for distorting the belt...Flair was always at his best immediately after either a horrible defeat or a great triumph.

    ReplyDelete
  143. He's much better in the new Austin podcast, and actually mentions he was trying to avoid being too preachy. He also gives a somewhat more understandable reason for home schooling his kids. The podcast isn't particularly interesting, but you'd probably find it easier to get through.


    I was actually more concerned about his physical well being on Jericho's podcast. He stammers and verbally falls all over himself so much I thought he developed a neurological problem.

    ReplyDelete
  144. Just send there kids to a real school and I'll be happy. My uncle is an Episcopal priest (who marries gays!) and is way cool and super smart do I do agree they can be cool. Shawn sounds like the worst kind though.

    ReplyDelete
  145. "Even Load and Reload weren't that bad."

    And even there, I'm proud to say I'm the rare cat who actually thinks Reload is the better of the two.

    ReplyDelete
  146. But what we need more of is dead and/or asshole wrestlers?


    Maybe his lifestyle has changed him, but at least he's clean, alive, and actually being a father to his kids now.

    ReplyDelete
  147. You really love fat guys apparently.


    Chubby chaser, AMIRITE?

    ReplyDelete
  148. Isn't that why fans cheer for Owens?

    ReplyDelete
  149. See also: The Mountie and the IC Tournament we had

    ReplyDelete
  150. I'd love to have you on as a correspondent. I'm very open to any ideas you may have. Let's talk it out. You can contact me at:

    bro.danimal.crossing.bro@gmail.com

    ReplyDelete
  151. "- According to WrestleZone, a source within WWE has stated that Triple H is interested in giving Samoa Joe a shot in NXT. While Triple H is interested, word is that Vince McMahon has little interest in Joe and that if he got the shot, his chances of moving past developmental could be difficult. There has been talk of giving Joe a tryout at the Performance Center in the near future."

    ReplyDelete
  152. Living in a world for a moment where Joe does go to WWE, the one thing that comes to my mind is if they let him keep that name. Outside of Punk, he'd be the biggest indie name they'd ever have. Generico, Steen, Devitt, KENTA, PAC didn't have nearly the same name recognition as Joe does. Joe is essentially a WWE-level guy who never worked there, IMO.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Grats to Joe, Vince McMahon being aware of him is the biggest accomplishment he's had in his whole career.

    ReplyDelete
  154. So he'd be in NXT for a few thousand a year but will never sniff the main roster. He'd make a lot more in Japan and on the indies.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Vince's eyes are widening at the thought that he could have the next Rikishi.

    ReplyDelete
  156. McMahon is confused and actually think it's Broadway Joe (Namath)

    ReplyDelete
  157. Well, it's a business thing. Keep a resource away from a competitor who could use that resource better than you can.

    ReplyDelete
  158. They'd only let him keep it if they owned the rights, so if he left he'd have to then use a different name in the indies. As far as I know, Punk is the only exception to the naming rights thing in a long time.

    ReplyDelete
  159. They better spend double on catering whatever day his tryout is.

    ReplyDelete
  160. You know they say all men are created equal, but you look at me and you look at S'more Joe, you see that statement just not true!

    ReplyDelete
  161. Yeah, that part I get.

    It's still stupid.

    ReplyDelete
  162. Russo is about to step in as Head booker/writer... These reviews are going to be fun to read, surely!

    ReplyDelete
  163. Best episode, but sad fucking episode

    ReplyDelete
  164. While we're on the topic of catering, I'm amazed there hasn't been a story out there over someone being in the doghouse for a buffet-related offense yet.

    ReplyDelete
  165. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 10:22 AM

    Del Rio.

    ReplyDelete
  166. Vince: "There's no chance I'll give that piece of crap a shot"
    HHH: "He said he would dance"
    Vince: "..."

    ReplyDelete
  167. So Triple H is really trying to build the ultimate indy promotion

    ReplyDelete
  168. Someone took a shit on Sunny's lunch tray once. X-Pac told that story. I don't think anyone got in trouble for it, though.

    ReplyDelete
  169. It's pretty awesome, if you think about it. Look at NXT's roster, then look at TNA. Even without Joe, I would take NXT's roster any day of the week over TNAs.

    ReplyDelete
  170. KENTA got introduced as KENTA and gave a speech on why he was retiring the name.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Chubbies aren't hard to chase, in any sense of the word "chase"

    ReplyDelete
  172. You're right. He should have died ten years ago. The homeschooling I thought was weird, but even if I wasn't Catholic, I'd be okay with a guy finding his solace through faith.

    ReplyDelete
  173. More spandex is required to accentuate the fatness.

    ReplyDelete
  174. HHH: "He's samoan, Vince."
    Vince: "Well, why didn't ya say so, pal?! That's a horse of a different color!"

    ReplyDelete
  175. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 10:27 AM

    Even then it's iffy. I can't remember who it was(maybe Chris Hero?) who said he was willing to sign away the rights to his name but they still wanted to change it.

    ReplyDelete
  176. And the only interesting people in TNA are ex NxT guys like Bram & EC3. TNA totally miss the train on the best indy crop in favor of ex-WWE midcarder

    ReplyDelete
  177. That's a good point. Why bring Samoa Joe in when Steiner is 141 2/3 percents better than he is? More bang for your buck!

    ReplyDelete
  178. A WrestleZone exclusive?

    ReplyDelete
  179. Can we have a greatest ever fat guy tournament? I'm voting Tugboat.

    TOOOOOOT TOOOOOOT

    ReplyDelete
  180. Same for Finn Balor, I actually thinks its the best compromise, they acknowledge their past while creating a new persona they can own

    ReplyDelete
  181. "I think Joe's kind of cute"
    "You must be one of those women that likes romance! I'm gonna speak to all my freaks out there!"

    ReplyDelete
  182. Too bad the NXT pay is shit, though that makes sense for what it is.

    If NXT does become a legit touring brand they will need to give the talent raises for traveling expenses.

    ReplyDelete
  183. Sitting here at 9:30 a.m. barely out of the shower, trying to figure why I can't skip today

    ReplyDelete
  184. I'm picturing Xavier Woods taking an extra baked potato, then seeing John Cena standing in the corner, staring at him and silently shaking his head.

    ReplyDelete
  185. Exactly. Make new stars by enhancing indy guys to make them more popular. The last person I care about seeing is boring Drew McIntyre.

    ReplyDelete
  186. I thought those were tasteful and that WWE gave them non retarded replacement names.

    Kassius Ohno - however - no wonder that didn't work.

    Also, with Cesaro - why did they drop the first name and not the last name. Just "Antonio" would have been awesome. I don't really like "Cesaro". His real name is more interesting but I am guessing 70% of the WWE's audience couldn't spell it.

    ReplyDelete
  187. Um...hello.....LOCHNESS!

    ReplyDelete
  188. Art "AllAmericanBoy" VandelayFebruary 18, 2015 at 10:30 AM

    Because they already brought Steiner in and got plenty of bang when that blew up in their face.

    ReplyDelete
  189. Ooooor he's saying that there are two demographics and he's catering to one of them with NXT. =)


    Whether you or I believe that to be true is one thing, but I'd lay money that he believes that.

    ReplyDelete
  190. "A Wrestlezone exclusive" - LOL

    ReplyDelete

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