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Matt's Monday Night RAW Recap - 3/23/2015

After this show, WWE departs for my neck of the woods as Santa Clara/San Jose is the final stop on The Road to WrestleMania.

Despite all my carrying on, I'm actually stoked to be going to this event, to WrestleMania -- if Dougie hasn't shown up yet to clue you all in that "I'm paying for WrestleMania" yet.

There. You can stop trolling the threads now, Dougie. Lol bro. Or whatever.

Anyhow, I love wrestling and WWE despite what everyone may or may not think. I love covering it. And, judging by the multitude of readers who read and comment across three blogs, you love clicking on the recap and seeing what the hell I care about watching some dude pretending to be Russian and representing Rusev.

I am excited about WrestleMania because I believe this stuff can be GREAT again. 

THIS is the "going home" show before WrestleMania...let's see if WWE can get some last-second buys...

We are LIVE(!!!) from Los Angeles, California for WWE RAW!!!

Cole, JBL and Booker are the guys on the mics.

TONIGHT:
  • Brock and Roman go face to face.
  • Bill Simmons and Snoop Dogg are here.

Sting starts us out. At least I think this is him. Michael Cole hasn't freaked out about the arena suddenly going dark yet. Crowd loves him. He yells outloud for them. He says that, when he was with WCW, he watched Triple H rise and bury WCW. He's not here to fight for WCW as that would be pointless. He's here to take Triple H down.

Out comes Steph. She calls him "WCW's last holdout". Finally, he knows what it's like to be in the "big time". Sting calls her a spoiled little brat who thinks she earns what she's gotten. Then he condescends to her: "But it's nice to finally meet ya', Steph." She says that Sting was a minnow in a tiny pond when he was in WCW. She says he's loyal...like a dog. Dogs are stupid. She doesn't wanna call him a dog. She says that Sting lost everything. His integrity and pride are gone. And the rest of him will be gone when he loses to Triple H at WrestleMania. She calls him a "face-painted freak".

Sting whoops at the audience. Steph tries to slap him. He blocks it. Triple H comes out to the ring, loosening his tie and tossing it away. He approaches the ring, asks Steph if she's ok, then takes off his jacket and rolls his sleeves up. Crowd chants "THIS IS AWESOME" as Steph goes for a sledge from under the ring -- but Sting has his baseball bat -- and he invites Triple H into the ring. Sting, off-mic: "You got a sledgehammer. I've got a bat. C'mon, make a move!"

Instead, Triple H chickens out and walks back to the aisle. Sting removes his coat and drops the bat. He tells Triple H to get in the ring. Triple H starts to...but Steph eventually holds him back and the two heels back off and retreat.

PLEASE live up to what you guys just kicked the show off with.

TONIGHT: We get to choose Randy Orton's opponent. Will it be Big Show, Kane or Seth Rollins & his Security Goofs?

Backstage, Paige and AJ yack.

MATCH #1: Dean Ambrose & R-Truth vs. Luke Harper & Stardust
Holy shit, a spot where Truth wrestles and doesn't steal anything? I'm not used to this. Truth starts with Star as Barrett is on commentary. Star gets tossed from the ring, then yells at Barrett that the belt is "his". Cole just can't leave well enough alone and calls Star "Gollum-like". Tag to Ambrose and a tag to Harper and the Battle of the Wife Beaters commences as Ambrose puts him in a wristlock. Harper breaks it but Ambrose hits a nice flying lariat off an Irish Whip. Ambrose hits a sitting dropkick and Crucifix Pin for two. He hits a bulldog and Star gets into the ring. Truth and Ambrose dump him, then toss Harper. We go to break.

When we come back, Star has Ambrose locked in a cross armlock. Ambrose fights out but Star counters with an Alabama Slam for two. Tag to Harper and he works Ambrose's eyes with a gouge. He slings Ambrose's neck into the middle ring ropes and gets two. Ambrose tries a rush but Harper hits a Spinning Sidewalk Slam for two. Tag to Star. He tries a Superplex. Ambrose tosses him to the mat. Star quickly gets up and tags Harper. Harper nails Ambrose, then goes outside to taunt Ambrose. When he comes back, he runs into Ambrose who rolls him back in the ring.

Ambrose hits a Tornado DDT, then hits a hot tag to R-Truth. Truth takes out both men and hits a Sitting Suplex Bomb. Ambrose gets into the ring and hits a Comeback Clothesline on Harper who bails. Flying Psycho by Ambrose. Star freaks out and watches. He turns around and runs right into What's Up? Truth gets the pin at 10:39.
WINNERS: Truth & Ambrose
RATING: **1/4. Not bad. As excited one can be for a match featuring three of the four weakest stars on the roster. At least Cole didn't end every sentence in "izzle".

Renee Young has this year's Special Olympics candidates.

We get a response from Roman Reigns via TV interview backstage. Aren't we supposed to have a Face-to-Face meet?

Apparently, JBL and Bill Simmons "don't like each other" because of passive aggressive tweets.

Also, The Miz and Damien Miz-dow interviewed Kevin Hart and Will Ferrell where Miz acts like an arrogant jackass and Ferrell and Hart like Miz-dow better. They show a minute of it which is about a minute too long. Then they offer the rest "on the WWE App".

MATCH #2: The Miz, Damien Miz-dow, The Ascension (Konnor & Viktor), & Adam Rose vs. Titus O'Neil, Darren Young, Ryback, Erick Rowan and Zack Ryder in a Ten-Man Tag Team Match
Bill Simmons joins the commentary team. Miz and Titus start off, Crowd doesn't care and chants for Miz-dow. Titus hits backbreakers and tosses Miz backward. Tag to Young. Titus suplexes him on top of Miz. Miz hits a chinbreaker to gain momentum. He teases a Miz-dow tag but Rose gets it instead. Young hits an inverted Atomic Drop and swinging neckbreaker. Tag to Harper who beats Rose up in the corner. Harper puts Rose in the corner and tags Ryder. Rose hits a clothesline and it's a tag to The Ascension soo they can get their licks in. Young saves a pin. Miz-dow gets a tag. Miz tells him to stop it and tag him back in. Miz-dow does. Ryder drops Miz's head on the mat. Ryder hits the hot tag to Ryback. Press to Miz and a Spinebuster. He goes for the Meathook. Rose comes in to interfere. Ryback drops him. Ascension in. They get dumped by Ryback. Miz boots Ryback and kicks at him bur Ryback hits a clothesline and Shell Shock and we're done at 5:48.
WINNERS: The Faces
RATING: *. This was just a bunch of guys waiting for Ryback to outshine them. It's weird to see a bunch of vets in singles matches -- and the rest of the card relegated to "piles of bodies" matches. 

LAST MONDAY: Orton was gonna be attacked except Sting showed up.

Randy Orton comes to the ring. Booker says that Orton's opponent is...

Seth Rollins with 77 percent of the vote. At this point, the remaining 23% who voted for Show and Kane have got to be trolling.

MATCH #3: Randy Orton vs. Seth Rollins, Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury in a Handicap Match
Mercury starts this thing out. Orton drops him to the mat, face-first, then demands Rollins get in the ring. Mercury tags Noble instead. Orton just shoves him to the mat and stomps at his shins. He throws Noble out of the ring like a bag of meat and goes after Rollins. There's a brief scuffle and Rollins kicks Orton in the head. Noble stomps at Orton and drops elbows. Orton retaliates with a clothesline, then takes out Mercury. He tosses Noble out and powerslams Mercury in stride. He hits a Double Rope Drop DDT on both men as Rollins just glares. He calls for an RKO. Rollins runs into the ring for a Curb Stomp but he misses. Orton nearly hits an RKO but Rollins counters and shoves him into Mercury, who gets clotheslined outside. He turns back to Rollins, who bails. Noble tries to sneak up on Orton who just RKO's him into next week and gets the pin at 3:19.
WINNER: Randy Orton via RKO
RATING: *1/2. Other than that, build-up was nice. I just expected more from a handicap match.

John Cena was interviewed in the Barbara Walters Room of Doom.

TONIGHT: Swagger takes on Rusev.

AJ approaches Paige about the Divas Title match tonight. They argue over who should fight against Nikki -- only they offer each other the title shot. Paige calls her "crazy" for passing up on the opportunity. This doesn't sit well with AJ.

We go to break.

MATCH #4: Paige (challenger) (w/ AJ Lee) vs. Nikki Bella (champion) (w/ Brie Bella) for the WWE Divas Championship
Initial lock-up goes nowhere. Paige charges Nikki, then headbutts her. She knees Nikki in the chin/neck/boobs/not sure because of the editing, then says this is her house. Nikki gets back in the ring tosses Paige to the mat and does push-ups. Paige attacks her and Nikki rolls out of the ring. Paige isn't through with her and flies at her with a knee. She rolls Nikki back into the ring but Nikki comes back, smashing Paige's face with her knee. When we come back from a break, Nikki has Paige in a headlock. Paige breaks but Nikki puts Paige down with a Spinebuster. Two count. She taunts Paige with slaps to the head, so Paige kicks her and the two women rush at each other. They both eat a clothesline and hit the mat. Paige hits clotheslines and a dropkick. Two count. Paige rushes Nikki who elbows her and dropkicks her. Two count. Nikki sets up the Forearm but misses. Paige hits a Crescent Kick for two. Paige gets up and goes for the Ram-Paige but Nikki counters with a Small Package cradle for two. A series of counters and Nikki hits an Alabama Slam for a CLOSE fall. Nikki goes for the Rack Attack but Paige fights out and hits the Ram-Paige. TWO COUNT. Paige can't believe it. Crowd is big-time into this. Paige tries to pull Nikki to the center of the ring. Paige flies out of the ring with her. Brie tries to get involved, so AJ takes her out. Paige goes to thank her and eats an AJ elbow for her troubles. Nikki rolls Paige into the ring. Rack Attack and Nikki retains at 10:41.
WINNER: NIKKIWINSLOL via Rack Attack
RATING: **1/2. At this point, I'm convinced Nikki's not just sucking Cena off.

Post-match, Paige attacks AJ. And we're going back down this route, I guess.

ON SMACKDOWN: Bryan jobbed to Dolph Ziggler. Tune in next week, when he jobs to Zack Ryder.

TONIGHT: You get to help overbook tonight's match choose the special guest referee in the match between Ziggler and Bryan by voting on the WWE App.

NEXT: Snoop Dogg.

Lilian Garcia introduces Snoop Dogg. This oughta give me time to scope out the Best of Monday Night Open Mic. Oh wait. Curtis Axel has a problem with Snoop Dogg. He says that he doesn't like "SnoopMania." Snoop doesn't care. The only important "Mania" is this one:

Hulk Hogan appears for, like, the sixth time in a year, which is like five more times than The Undertaker. He doesn't know about AxelMania. He asks what Axel's been smoking. Axel tears off his shirt and attacks Hogan. Hogan hits him and Snoop tosses him out of the ring. They pose for about 80 minutes.

We get the Brock Lesnar video interview from last week.

ON THE WRESTLEMANIA KICK-OFF SHOW: The Fatal Four-Way Tag Team Championship between The Usos, Tyson & Cesaro, The New Day and Los Matadores.

MATCH #5: WWE Tag Team Champions Tyson Kidd & Cesaro & Natalya vs. Los Matadores (Fernando & Diego) & El Torito in a Six-Being Interspecies Tag Team Match
Fucking hell. I skip this shit on Smackdown, so WHY am I seeing it on RAW? Cesaro shoulderblocks Matador I Don't Care About #1. Matador #1 comes back with a body splash for a one-count. Torito is in with Nattie who smiles because I'm convince that the Botox has reduced her to that and "pissed off". Tyson tags himself in and evades Matador #2 or #1. Cesaro comes in for a short cover. Meanwhile, the Usos and Naomi's boobs join the commentary team. Cesaro hits the Swing Kick. Tyson locks in a headlock. Matador breaks and Tyson goes top rope, only to eat a dropkick. Hot tags on both sides. Matador beats up Cesaro and tags in Torito who nearl pins Cesaro. Matador dumps Cesaro from the ring. This leaves Torito, who pins Nattie with a Sunset Flip. JBL just highlights how far Nattie's fallen in WWE by asking, "Has Bret Hart ever been pinned by a bull?"
WINNER: Matadors and El Torito
RATING: DUD.

Barrett is backstage. Kane approaches him and says that he needs to collect Barrett's IC Title, so he can "dangle it above the ring". Barrett is reluctant, but gives him the belt.

NEXT: Rusev vs. Swagger

ON SMACKDOWN: 8-MAN TAG MATCH featuring Roman Reigns, John Cena, Mark Henry & Daniel Bryan vs. Bray Wyatt, Seth Rollins, Kane and Big Show

MATCH #6: WWE United States Champion Rusev vs. Jack Swagger (non-title)
JBL reminds us that Rusev's the reason we haven't seen Zeb Colter. Continuity! Rusev kicks at Swagger in the corner, then beats on him. Swagger fights back but Rusev clotheslines him. He kicks Swagger repeatedly, then puts on a clutch. Swagger finally fights out and hits a Big Boot. He hits a huge clothesline, which knocks Rusev down. He rushes Rusev but Rusev goes for a kick. Swagger catches him and tries the Patriot Lock. Rusev kicks out. Rusev beats Swagger in the corner again, then clotheslines him. Rusev hits a HUGE Superkick and the Accolade for the win at 4:36.
WINNER: Rusev via Accolade
RATING: More of the same from Rusev.

Rusev won't break The Accolade, so here comes Cena to break his face. They battle in the ring, then fight outside. Rusev gets the upper hand and tosses Cena into the crowd barrier. He picks Cena up and shoves him into the ringpost. He picks Cena up again and tosses him into the announce table. Rusev picks up the Russian flag and waves it. A ref tends to Cena who looks hurt. Rusev sees this and puts the flag down. He takes Cena out with a Flying Superkick, then starts stripping the announce table. He picks Cena up and slams him, face-first, into the table. He climbs the table and locks in The Accolade until Cena passes out, while six refs tug lightly at Rusev's arms, saying "Stop it."

MOMENTS AGO: Rusev kicks the shit out of John Cena.

Cole, JBL and Booker assess what just happened. Cole surmises that Cena "is no longer 100 percent".

Bray Time. He comes to the ring and says that everyone hates. That's all they do. They care only about money and hate who they are in life. They lie to themselves. He'll give them all the truth: The Undertaker is a liar. He's just like everyone else. He's hiding the fact that he lost. He says that angel wings are here to take him back to the other side.

We hear rumbling and see lights flashing as the arena lights up like the Tiki Room at Disneyland. He says that The Undertaker's spirits are all in Bray Wyatt's control now, not The Undertaker's. He says there will be no redemption or shield. Sister Abigail's Kiss will end him. Then, he will take his rightful place amongst the gods as the new face of fear. He says that once WrestleMania is over, The Undertaker will finally rest in peace. Aaaaaand, still no 'Taker. Even on the Raw before 'Mania. Sigh...

Diesel/Kevin Nash is the final inductee into the 2015 WWE Hall of Fame.

Nattie is backstage, doing her make-up. Tyson is eating Burger King. He talks to his food like he talks to her. Nattie smile-frowns through it, then pretends to like what she's eating.

Oh, look. Daniel Bryan's out here and he's more over than Reigns. Funny that. So's Ziggler. Booker gives us our Special Guest Referee and it's...

Dean Ambrose. Wonder how many people tried voting for Kane and Big Show.

MATCH #7: Daniel Bryam vs. Dolph Ziggler w/ Special Guest Referee Dean Ambrose
Initial lock-ups and quick back and forth to start. Then an actual Test of Strength. Ziggler puts Bryan in a corner and beats on him. Big elbow by Ziggler. One count. Ziggler puts Bryan in the corner and it's a slap and punch fight. Bryan flips over Ziggler in the corner, then ends up outside. Ziggler chases and Bryan uses his legs to pull Ziggler outside as well. Bryan misses a flying knee outside. Ziggler runs at Bryan and takes him out. When we get back from break, Ziggler has a Sleeper on Bryan. Bryan breaks it and goes for a Fame-Asser but Bryan rolls Ziggler up fro two. Ziggler attacks and Bryan hits a German Suplex for two. Bryan goes top rope but Ziggler knocks him off. He goes for a Superplex but Bryan blocks it and punches at Ziggler. Ziggler falls to the mat, then leaps up, grabbing Bryan by the head, and pulls him down into the mat for a close fall. Ziggler goes for a Zigg Zagg but Bryan fights him off and tries a Backslide pin. Ziggler reverses for two. Bryan kicks Ziggler in the corner and then hits a rushing dropkick. Ziggler hits a Superkick when Bryan comes rushing in and hits the Superkick for the win at 10:54. Boy, that "special guest referee" gimmick really added to the match, didn't it?
WINNER: Dolph Ziggler via Zigg Zagg
RATING: **3/4. Got going late and never really got to the level of the match on Smackdown.

Post-match, Dean predictably hits Ziggler with Dirty Deeds, goes under the mat for a ladder and goes for the IC Title which is hanging above the ring CUZ REMEMBER KANE PUT IT UP THERE HIMSELF. Barrett stops him and the rest of the IC Title fighters come out to join the fight. Bodies fly everywhere. Barrett hits a Bullhammer on Bryan because he hasn't been buried enough in two shows. Ziggler hits a Superkick on Barrett. More fighting and the ladder gets knocked over. Everyone's down and...that's that. Everyone's down and not getting up.

Backstage, Heyman knocks on the dressing room door of Brock Lesnar and tells him that "it's time".

Finally, at 11 PM PST / 2 AM EST, out comes Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman. Heyman plugs Lesnar vs. Reigns. He says that either Lesnar is great like he's been saying -- or he isn't. The same goes for Reigns. He says that Lesnar makes failures out of everyone who has stepped in front of him. He says that everyone doubted Lesnar's ability to beat The Undertaker and John Cena. Both men were beaten. He says that people call Lesnar a "mercenary". The problem is that Lesnar actually enjoys beating people up. He says Lesnar's the type who will fuck wives and eat kid's food. Sheesh. Paul Heyman says that Reigns keeps saying "he will" beat Lesnar. But Lesnar says he CAN'T...and he WON'T.

Out comes Reigns. The two men face off, as promised. Lesnar holds the belt in Reigns' face. Reigns grabs it. Lesnar grabs back...and we go off the air?! Ok.

OVERALL: **1/2. Not a bad "going home" show...it's gonna be an interesting WrestleMania. It's time for WWE to reap what they've sewn. 

That's it for me for this week.

I will probably be posting the WrestleMania Trip Report starting on Thursday with Axxess. If you're going to WrestleMania, feel free to find me and talk me up. I'm not that much of an asshole in real life. :)

And, of course...the best of Monday Night Open Mic:











Er...that's it.

Comments

  1. So...what match goes on last at Mania?

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  2. I'll be there too!

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  3. Burt Macklin, FBIMarch 24, 2015 at 4:34 AM

    Title match. It's extremely rare for a Championship Match not to close the show. Only 4 times has the World Title not closed the show(excluding WM 1)

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  4. Will you be writing terribly smarky reviews full of venom and bile towards the show you "love" too?

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  5. TheOriginalDonaldMarch 24, 2015 at 4:40 AM

    MY MATCH ENDS THE SHOW...............................BROTHER!-Terry

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  6. Deadman Walking.......Just 5 Days Only

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  7. Did you chicken out from using the Pat Paterson comment then? :p

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  8. Stephanie promo.

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  9. C'mon John. Let's comment on the product instead of the posters. That's what good forum members do. You want to be a good forum member dont you?

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  10. Matt wasnt harsh enough. He was mellow this week. Bummer.

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  11. More wondering what well open the show, guessing Orton/Rollins as it's the only hot singles match they have.

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  12. I asked poster a question. Resemblance of any person real or imagined to the content of my post is unintentional.

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  13. It's your overall cadence silly head. You actually come across more venom filled than most the posters here. You are becoming what you hate. You are the new york Yankees!

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  14. Yup just like attacking a reader who sends Scott mail, or making fun of a reviewer for a house show.

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  15. And he cheated on his cancer-stricken wife with a tranny.

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  16. Wasn't Axel a face? We finally wanted a tweener and they give it to Curtis Axel.

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  17. Needs to be made to watch more Total Divas, I think.

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  18. Could we please get a weekly Raw recap that doesn't deteriorate into a meltdown or a passive aggressive feud specific posters?

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  19. Anyone want to play Guess Scott's Ratings for the show?

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  20. His dad is doing enough coke to rise from the grave, then drop dead again and roll over in it.

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  21. What fun would that be?

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  22. Sure, but I like having a weekly Raw recap so I don't want this to end with another meltdown and Matt quitting.

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  23. Kevin Nash: Nearly drive one company to bankruptcy as champion. Help destroy another company as champion and booker. Hall of Fame inductee.

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  24. I have a strong feeling that Wyatt/'Taker is going to be a glorified squash. Build-ups with one wrestler not appearing and the other just trashing him are usually intended for returns.

    I think this won't go long and that Wyatt will lose to bounce 'Taker back from last year and to get him ready for a maych with Sting at WM 32.

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  25. Understandable, but I think the big difference is that people seem to actually like Matt.

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  26. I think Wyatt does the honors, but still looks good doing so. Otherwise him squashing everyone else (Kane and Big Show notwithstanding) has just been a waste.

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  27. I'm going to guess there are heated pokers and anal cavities involved.

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  28. and how fitting that he get to be inducting the year where Roman Reigns is main eventing

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  29. Is Surge! still on the market?

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  30. OT: Oh shit, OOTP Baseball 16. Yes!

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  31. that go home segment: http://abload.de/img/11012683_1056744811001npvg.png

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  32. Gimme that belt! NO ROMAN, this is MAH belt!

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  33. They have like 20 writers and that's the best they come up with ... Why not have Reigns superman-punch Lesnar in the face and then the all locker room comes out to keep the apart, it's really basic stuff

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  34. Reigns is smarter than we think. He superman punches Brock now.... Brock adapts and puts up a Borg-Shield at WM. Then what will he do?

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  35. Same here, it's a much better overall tone and report than Andy. Don't get me wrong, if people want to get into it in the thread then whatever, I just hope he keeps it out of the recap itself, because that usually ends poorly.

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  36. Worst_in_the_WorldMarch 24, 2015 at 6:02 AM

    A tug of war. A fucking tug of war.

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  37. Audience of one.

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  38. Worst_in_the_WorldMarch 24, 2015 at 6:02 AM

    Oh, taker is squashing Bray right into a comedy hillbilly gimmick.

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  39. If that means we get a Godwinns reunion, I'm all for it. Maybe even bring back Hillbilly Jim.

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  40. Is it wrong that I'm looking forward to the Night-After-WM RAW crowd more than the actual show?

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  41. I'd open with the Ladder match to get the crowd hot. Then to the Andre match. Then what have you. Taker third to last. Sting HHH second to last and the championship match as the final to see if Reigns can actually do this thing.

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  42. I had someone tell me the undercard was actually very well-built.

    Sure.

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  43. Sounds like a great show, I'm sorry I missed it live. I've got a inkling that after Sunday we'll see a big spike in Raw viewership. Roman Reigns is all my friends have been talking about for weeks, and they don't usually like wrestling.

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  44. Worst_in_the_WorldMarch 24, 2015 at 6:05 AM

    Maybe Hillbilly Bray and Yakoff Rusev as a comedy tag team after they lose to taker and Cena?

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  45. Who taught Vince how to hack Disqus?

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  46. Worst_in_the_WorldMarch 24, 2015 at 6:06 AM

    The fucking divas match is the best built match on the card

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  47. I liked the idea someone had of giving Bray the win here, then having Taker come back next year for a retirement match, which he wins, but then retires anyway.

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  48. Punch Brock in the mouth?

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  49. Worst_in_the_WorldMarch 24, 2015 at 6:07 AM

    I like the idea of undertaker not showing up Sunday and also never again. That'd be cool

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  50. The IC title match has been changed from a Ladder Match to a game of Red Rover.

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  51. Fucking PG shit. The belt should have exploded at the end like when Sting and Vader did their tug of war in the White Castle of Fear.

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  52. Pretending that I've been through an intensive mental reconditioning is the best way to enjoy WWE.

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  53. Sting's a good, exciting promo! Who knew! Do a proper build next year you muppets!

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  54. Ah yes, re-Neducation.

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  55. Battle Kat LitterMarch 24, 2015 at 6:10 AM

    Aww, little Roman saw all the jobber wrestlers snatching title belts that weren't theirs and copied them. Naughty Roman! Don't snatch! That's not yours!

    And you IC title jobbers - do not snatch title belts! Your little brother Roman is copying you! You're old enough to know better! Onto the naughty step!

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  56. I'd rather see that match than Roman Reigns winning. That was actually a very good match.

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  57. "Castrol GTX presents WWE: Hide and Seek. Thirty men, one championship title hidden deep inside Mr. McMahon's colon. Who will claim the gold?"

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  58. Punching him in the stomach would be more effective.

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  59. VENOM AND BILE

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  60. Do they like movies about gladiators?

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  61. Haha I know Pal ! This Reigns kid is gonna bring out a new golden age of sport entertainement or my name isn't Vince Mc...err Pentagon

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  62. Bryan is a turd so he got home advantage

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  63. Yeah, and they're all looking forward to Terminator Genyisuiis too.

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  64. Hunter's been up there since 2000 so he knows the route.

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  65. That remind me of South Park Stick of Truth

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  66. Yeah he better protect his only move before the big fight

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  67. I haven't watched RAW in near 2 months. Will not be watching Mania. I will watch the after Mania RAW.
    So no, and I'm with ya

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  68. You are not in the business! How dare you tell them things that make sense and will make money. You have some nerve...

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  69. I miss the Shield : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TsRIPn5rdx4 and somehow they knew how make Reigns strong and interesting at the time

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  70. I really can't stand moves like the 619 and the Reigns drop kick that require so much setup from the opponent.

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  71. I wouldn't mind if most of the time Rey placed the guy there, and then every now and again someone would end up in that spot and THEN it'd be all "Oh shit!". But yeah, too much fakery.

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  72. Reings' dropkick was kind of cool during the Shield matches because the opponent was put in the position by Ambrose or Rollins so Reigns seems to came out of nowhere when he hit it. But in a single match it's enven worst than the 619

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  73. "How come I don't get any credit? I invented the damn tug of war over the belt, but Vince and Hogan screwed me! This is bullshit!" -- Bret Hart

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  74. Randy Orton's rope-DDT falls into this category for me, too.

    But the worst, by far, is Sheamus' 10 Beats thing.

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  75. Screw all this wrestlemania talk. The big news is AJ un-fonllowed Punks twitter feed. But then re-followed about 12 hours later.

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  76. I've only seen Orton's DDT setup look good once. Years back he had a match against Ziggler and he actually trapped Ziggler in that position while Ziggler tried to avoid the ring apron. It was the only time the spot didn't feel contrived.

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  77. So. What's supposed to be a brutal match is set up by a tug of war. What's supposed to be a career launching, stratosphere-achieveing crowning is tipped off by a tug of war.

    I remember all the great champions that saw their moment begin by that. Sting against Flair, Hogan against Sheik, Austin against HBK, Rock against whomever, Cena and JBL, all career-defining moments started by a tug of war.....oh wait, they didn't all do that because it would've been f'n stupid. Shoot, didn't HHH beat on Brock right before their WM match?

    This is gonna be dumb. Sofa King Dumb.

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  78. What a heel.

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  79. "Despite all my carrying on, I'm actually stoked to be going to this event, to WrestleMania"

    See this is the biggest problem with the wwe. We can all agree the product is not good, but we still line up to pay for it. It's amazing when you think about it,

    This isn't ment to be a call out either, because I'll probably be in Dallas, next year, and I can't even finish a raw recap at this point. Just something to think about.

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  80. That's easy to do accidentally if you're on your smartphone. I've accidentally added friends on FB by touching the wrong part of the screen.

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  81. SOme news site were already speculating about a divorce

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  82. Sting vs HHH and 3.5 hours of ice cold trash.

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  83. I do that all the time. I have like 30 ans im too lazy to delete them.

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  84. No, it's pretty well known (The "I'm not watching this again! See you guys next week") foolishness Stroud posted a while back. If fans were really upset, they'd stop watching, but they don't want to do that, because they hope they'll watch a DB ***** match, or think that by not watching, they're punishing the real stars they cheer for.

    It's really a mess because Vince knows no matter what, you'll keep watching. And this is unlike when WCW was around, because at least that was a real threat.

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  85. I always think im just one person and one person doesnt make a difference.

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  86. Which is worse that or hot garbage?

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  87. Hot garbage. Think of the smell

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  88. Not true. Look at the ratings on a slow, but steady decline. I gave up Raw and the Network earlier this year and only watch NXT on Hulu. The crowd willing to pay no matter what is shrinking

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  89. She just no sold the Go To Sleep too many times.

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  90. The body count would add up fast.

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  91. Bull. One person ALWAYS makes a difference.

    ReplyDelete
  92. Sting vs. HHH in an "Ice Pack on a Pole" match.

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  93. All the congrats in the world to WWE for actually making me eat my words about Sting/HHH I want to say last night was a great opening..but was it or was it just good and the kind of thing that they used to be able to do alot but now it seems special?

    Either way Sting killed it and it's a shame they didn't take advantage of what Sting can do sooner.

    The Cena Rusev thing was also solid and that bump Cena took was nice other than some usual Cena stuff I can't fault the build up of the match too much.

    The wacky everyone trying to climb that ladder and grab the belt was dumb to me.

    Then there is the end of the show.......Holy mother of Stephanie McMahon Helmsely...
    First it's beyond embarassing how the crowd shat in the face grabbing the belt from the heel.
    Second..the ruined Brock in one moment. Reigns grabbing the belt should have resulted in his head going into the crowd on one side of the ring and his body on the other side.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Buffalo HopscotchMarch 24, 2015 at 6:55 AM

    The Lesnar and Reigns tug 'o war for the title was the exact way me and my brother would decide who got to bat first when we played backyard cricket.

    ...except we'd actually get into a fight about it. So yea, my 8 year old struggles for a cricket bat with my older brother were more hardcore than a former UFC Heavyweight Champion and The Rock's Cousin struggle for the WWE Title.

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  95. I once voted for Ross Perot (yeah... I know). That did nothing.

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  96. I guess we should make "GiveWrestlingAChance" trending next

    ReplyDelete
  97. It won the election for Clinton! That's not nothing!

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  98. But... but... we're always tole that the IWC doesnt matter. That would make the people that say that... liars!

    ReplyDelete
  99. Bah, don't let yourself get limited. One person making a stand is always important. Especially when it comes to the tomfoolerish moves of the E.

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  100. Haha if the IWC didn't matter, Vince wouldn't be trying to troll them with this new "reality" era.

    ReplyDelete
  101. “From now on I'm thinking only of me."
    Major Danby replied indulgently with a superior smile: "But, Yossarian, suppose everyone felt that way."
    "Then," said Yossarian, "I'd certainly be a damned fool to feel any other way, wouldn't I?”

    ReplyDelete
  102. I get you. We get the Viking Space Lord, who has crushed everyone in his path, suplexed Cena to oblivion, and survived the Phoenix Splash......and his answer to Roman Reigns is to pull his title back from him?

    I still say Brock should've showed up in a "You can't. You won't" t-shirt. So Many Buys.

    ReplyDelete
  103. I once played cricket on the X box and no matter what I did it said "no ball". A Thousand different combinations , a thousand times it said I had no balls. Fuck that sport!

    ReplyDelete
  104. Does anyone know who won the tug of war after the show went off the air?

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  105. Maybe you didn't understand the rules of cricket... Were you trying to throw the ball out of the ground?

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  106. From live reports they both awkwardly left the ring after that

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  107. That does sound awkward.

    ReplyDelete
  108. This guy have a crush on X-Man.

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  109. Maybe I missed something but there was not any warning from the authority to not get physical in the ring was there? I mean it still would have been dumb but that is all it would have taken to at least have a reason for the Pee Wee and Francis show down

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  110. All I was doing was trying to do was swing the damn bat.

    ReplyDelete
  111. His millions of international fans all over the world still believe in him.

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  112. Not that I'm aware of. I'm almost certain the reason they haven't hit each other yet is because they want to make it special.

    That, or Roman's offense blows against someone like Brock. I'll go with that.

    ReplyDelete
  113. I'll be at Raw in 3 weeks and I haven't watched an episode since the Rumble.

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  114. I'm not arguing for more Big Show and Kane but how dumb is it to spend what seemed like months of wasting Main Event time on Big Show and or Kane and not have any real plan for them on your biggest show of the year other than being the big guys in the battle royal

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  115. The Love-Matic Grampa!March 24, 2015 at 7:13 AM

    Of course.

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  116. This isn't the first time Undertaker hasn't shown up to hype Mania. He did the same thing he's doing now, before WM20 vs Kane.

    ReplyDelete
  117. I look at it like this is the culmination of what they've been doing all year - bogging down what would otherwise be exciting performances from better wrestlers.

    ReplyDelete
  118. The Love-Matic Grampa!March 24, 2015 at 7:15 AM

    Superman Punch and a Spear to beat the biggest monster in WWE history.

    Yup.

    ReplyDelete
  119. Of all the bullshit leading up to this WM, that's the bit I have the least problem with. At this point, Taker SHOULDN'T be a main concern - he should be a cool addition to a good card. Unfortunately, the main feuds are garbage, and the one wrestler everyone wants to see is stuck in midcard hell, so Taker's importance is magnified.

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  120. They should have had Lesnar smiling and laughing at Reigns only to have Reigns deck him in the face. Lesnar gets up and they tussle for a bit before being separated by refs and wrestlers from the locker room.

    ReplyDelete
  121. what you mean Viking Space Lord should not have just gone...noooo that's mine GIVE IT BACK!? The only thing missing was him turning to Paul and screaming "MAKE HIM GIVE IT BACK"

    ReplyDelete
  122. Simple and gets the point across. Jesus, that ain't hard.

    ReplyDelete
  123. I liked almost all of Raw outside of the ending.

    ReplyDelete
  124. The Love-Matic Grampa!March 24, 2015 at 7:18 AM

    Brock should have laughed, let him have the belt, and then destroyed him. Yeah, that kills Roman even more, but he's already dead. Plus, if he's winning Sunday that would be consistent with how WWE normally handles these things anyway.

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  125. Yes, but at least that was storyline driven, he made an appearance not FOUR MONTHS prior, and it was in a revenge setting.

    Here? Squish squash he hasn't been seen since getting crushed by Lesnar. Big diff.

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  126. That would've been nice - underdog to the biggest monster they've had since Andre - but then Roman looks "weak". It's like they're trying to put him at Brock's level, but the fans haven't accepted him as anywhere near. He's just kinda there.

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  127. They're earned it.

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  128. I still can't believe they're still trying to get HHH over as the guy who killed WCW. I mean, I can believe it, but Jesus the balls on that guy.

    ReplyDelete
  129. Worst_in_the_WorldMarch 24, 2015 at 7:24 AM

    Hahaha oh jeez, so the highlight is gonna be... a shitty match between two old guys where the result doesn't matter at all?

    ReplyDelete
  130. Well, I never thought it was possible, but Curtis Axel is getting crazy over with this gimmick. Of course, he isn't *supposed* to get over, so I can only assume he will be buried and humiliated week in week out to punish both Axel and the fans.
    Also, is anybody else uncomfortable with the term "interspecies" being used for diva vs. little people matches? That's pretty crass even by Vince's low standards.

    ReplyDelete
  131. Worst_in_the_WorldMarch 24, 2015 at 7:25 AM

    The only things that get over anymore are comedy gimmicks that parody how shitty the show is. (Axel, Mizdow etc) It's all WWE knows how to do anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  132. You forgot about Ambrose and his hot dog cart.

    ReplyDelete
  133. Worst_in_the_WorldMarch 24, 2015 at 7:28 AM

    And his slime and holograms and exploding TV and dancin'!

    ReplyDelete
  134. Chicken fries are back at Burger King!

    ReplyDelete
  135. Or his wrestling matches.

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  136. I remember that turning point night when Mankind won the title while WCW did the Fingerpoke of Doom. Don't forget, HHH was also there that night.

    ReplyDelete
  137. All this tug of war has given me an idea. Time to make the title match a Yappapi strap match. It's not exactly wrestling, but it will appeal to our fanbase (are we still doing this?).

    ReplyDelete
  138. Burt Macklin, FBIMarch 24, 2015 at 7:36 AM

    What I saw was fine. I liked the Sting/HHH segment and the Wyatt promo. The Heyman promo at the end was great.

    ReplyDelete
  139. I don't think the rope DDT is so bad anymore in terms of set-up. Randy does that kinda cool thing where it looks like he throws the guy through the ropes and out of the ring and holds on to them to DDT'em.

    Not bad but it looks better when the guy he's performing the move on is an athlete.

    ReplyDelete
  140. Yeah Wyatt was fantastic. And if last night was any indication the IC match is going to be crazy.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Worse than guys still trying to punch Cena after the two shoulderblocks?
    You know what would get the biggest pop ever? Cena hits the two shoulderblocks, then both guys just sort of awkwardly pause, Cena obviously waiting for the other guy to throw a punch. The opponent says "I'm not a moron, John" then kicks him in the balls.

    ReplyDelete
  142. Burt Macklin, FBIMarch 24, 2015 at 7:38 AM

    If their performance in the Royal Rumble is any indication this year's Andre Battle Royal will be one to skip.

    ReplyDelete
  143. The way I look at it, if you show pictures of wrestlers to people who don't watch wrestling, the guys they recognize are the biggest stars. Stone Cold? Hell yes, many will recognize him. The Rock? Probably a lot of people will recognize him, especially after doing movies. Vince McMahon? A lot of people may recognize him, or at least know him as the WWF owner. HHH? No fucking way will people know who he is.

    ReplyDelete
  144. Oh, that kid who was on Tosh.0 will be happy!

    ReplyDelete
  145. The Love-Matic Grampa!March 24, 2015 at 7:40 AM

    ...think that by not watching, they're punishing the real stars they cheer for.

    There's some validity to that line of thinking. Cena, Orton, HHH and their ilk never seem to suffer for low ratings or bad buyrates the way some others do.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Burt Macklin, FBIMarch 24, 2015 at 7:40 AM

    I really don't mind Taker not showing up either because it's allowed Bray to carry the feud and also seemingly separate himself momentarily from the midcard labyrinth where he exchanges jobs with the same few guys for a month. He feels up a level and above all that.

    ReplyDelete
  147. Knuckleberry PinnMarch 24, 2015 at 7:40 AM

    If Triple H loses at Wrestlemania, he will fall to (I believe) 8-11 at Wrestlemania. One, there are a couple of ultra-clean losses there (two in main events). Two, god damn, he's been in a lot of Wrestlemanias.

    ReplyDelete
  148. I looked it up a while ago, and I think Shawn Michaels has the worst record at WM for number of losses.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Burt Macklin, FBIMarch 24, 2015 at 7:44 AM

    If you extend to worst winning percentage then Tito Santana has gotta be king. 1-7 or something around there? A more devoted scholar can work out his winning percentage. I know for sure it's around shitty%

    ReplyDelete
  150. Winning percentage throws the whole thing off without a minimum number of appearances - there are a lot of guys with zero wins and only a couple of appearances.

    ReplyDelete
  151. The Love-Matic Grampa!March 24, 2015 at 7:45 AM

    WWE: We Hate Ourselves And It Shows!

    ReplyDelete
  152. Burt Macklin, FBIMarch 24, 2015 at 7:46 AM

    More than 7 appearances(picked because it keeps Tito in the mix)

    ReplyDelete
  153. That sounds like something CM Punk should have done.

    ReplyDelete
  154. AverageJoeEverymanMarch 24, 2015 at 8:01 AM

    No. It's BACK on the market!!

    ReplyDelete
  155. I'lll get excited when they bring back cheesy tots.

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  156. Nope. I'll be drinking beer and having a blast.

    ReplyDelete
  157. It's because he's a "bull"....

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  158. Wow, this was the best promo i ever heard from Wyatt, crazy and full of fire

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  159. and immediatly after Cole no sold it by chilling the wwe app

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  160. Hot take: I thought Bill Simmons was pretty good and wouldn't mind having him back.

    ReplyDelete
  161. "8:01 PM EST/11:01 PM PST" That is NOT how timezones work.

    ReplyDelete

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