Tuesday, April 21, 2015

Matt's Monday Night RAW Recap - 4/20/2015

Warriors and Pelicans are on...and it's a good game. Shame I can't flip back and forth seeing as how all my DVR spots are taken.

On the RAW side of things, we already have the pre-show guys saying idiotic things like, "Sting is gonna answer Cena's challenge tonight!"
I'm not saying RAW and WWE have been anemic...but I didn't even know Extreme Rules was this Sunday.

Let's get moving.

We start with clips of last Monday when Orton and Rollins both won their "stipulation" matches and then picked stipulations that aren't useful in the slightest.

We are LIVE(!!!) from Albany, New York for Monday Night RAW!!!

Orton starts us off with the steel cage surrounding the ring. He calls Rollins a "dumb bastard" and says that Rollins thinks that he took away Orton's greatest weapon, the RKO. He says that he doesn't need the RKO to win. That would be too quick and easy. He'll break Rollins' jaw so nobody has to hear him talk. He talks about the severe, brutal, gory beating Rollins will take at his hands -- and he will have the championship.

Rollins' music cuts him off. He says that Randy's got an anger issue. Orton says he doesn't have an anger problem. He says he has an issue with Rollins and, at Extreme Rules, that problem will go away. Rollins says that Orton just rants and he missed a lot of it. So, he recaps what Orton says, making fun of it along the way. He says that he's the greatest champ of all-time. He can outmaneuver anyone, both inside and outside the ring. He says that he's not taking anything away from Orton, calling him "one of the greatest of all-time"...but Rollins is THAT much better.

Orton says, after commercial break, he's gonna get all his anger out of his system: he's gonna RKO everybody he sees -- and he'll finish with Rollins by the end of the night.

TONIGHT: Triple H is coming out to make an announcement about Tough Enough's return...by, presumably, announcing Tough Enough's return.

Ambrose is out for a match as we go to commercial.

When we come back, Harper talks and says that, after tonight, Ambrose will "be afraid" of him.

MATCH #1: Dean Ambrose vs. Luke Harper
Brawl to start. Press by Ambrose off a run. Ambrose all over Harper in the corner with a running forearm. He tries for Dirty Deeds but Harper evades and hits a kick to Ambrose's stomach. He punches Ambrose but Ambrose fights him off and shoves him outside. He follows with the Flying Psycho and goes after Harper with punches. Harper gets up and tosses Ambrose outside into the crowd. Ambrose tosses Harper back into the ringside area and hits the Rebound Clothesline when Harper tries to toss Ambrose back into the ring. Apparently, this match is over, according to Cole, even though there wasn't a bell but, ok.
WINNERS: No contest.
RATING: 1/2 a *. I didn't even know these two were on the card for Extreme Rules. Apparently, they are. If only I had paid attention to the brilliant build-up to this classic post-WM PPV. I really hope Ambrose goes higher in WWE.

Post-match, Harper and Ambrose fight to the entrance ramp. Harper dings Ambrose's head off the giant LED board and then tries to toss Ambrose off the stage. Ambrose counters with Dirty Deeds but Harper just grabs Ambrose and tosses him to the ground. Ambrose lands and rolls like Samus in Metroid, then looks up to see that Harper's fully retreated to the back.

Backstage, Rollins is freaking out. J&J is tailing him. The Primetime Players scare the holy shit out of him and mock him. J&J tell Young and Titus to back off. They do. Rollins bumps into a stagehand and bullies him for laughing. Triple H bumps into Rollins, scaring him as well. Triple H asks him Rollins is afraid of Orton and the RKO. Rollins says he isn't. He just wants extra protection from Orton and the likes of Kane.

MATCH #2: Lucha Dragons (Sin Cara & Kalisto) vs. The New Day (Big E & Kofi Kingston) w/ Xavier Woods for the #1 Contender's Spot for the WWE Tag Team Championship
Crowd gives New Day the usual hell and it's Kalisto and Big E to start. Big E whips Kalisto into the ropes and eventually eats an Enzuguri and a highly improbable Hurricarana, but E goes down. Kofi and Cara in. Cara hits a beautiful Springboard Arm Drag Takedown and chops Kofi in the corner which the crowd can't even bring themselves to "WOO" at. Cara hits a quick Tornado DDT and gets two. Cara tries a dropkick but Kofi moves and Cara flies out of the ring. Woods distracts Cara and Kofi hits a nice dropkick. Cara is rolled back into the ring and the New Day are all over him with quick tags. Cara tries a tag. E stops him and then hits a monster clothesline. We go to break.

We're back. Kofi dropkicks Cara and punches at him. Tag to E who drops a forearm and claps to mock Cara who kicks at E and tags Kalisto. Tag to Kofi from E. Kalisto hits a bad-ass spinning moonsault. Kalisto kicks Kofi in the head. Both of the New Day end up outside, so Kalisto and Cara do incredible flipping moonsaults off the top buckles -- which culminates in a goofy ending where Woods is hiding under the ring (because that's what Woods does) and holds Cara's leg so he can't re-enter the ring. New Day wins at 9:30. (DANIELLE: They can flip and twist out of every single move but they have no counter for a dude holding onto a leg?)
WINNERS AND #1 CONTENDERS: The New Day
RATING: **1/2. Not a bad match, really. I guess Vince is still delaying the Lucha push. Still, it makes no sense that New Day, who has no identity whatsoever, is getting a title shot due to seniority or something.

Post-match, the Luchas aren't happy. And, suddenly, ITSORTONOUTOFNOWHEREWITHRKOSOUTOFNOWHERE!!! He takes out Kofi and Xavier with ease. Big E tries to get involved, but ditches his teammates. Orton celebrates. We've probably got 7 more matches ending this way tonight.
TONIGHT: Another Cena mid-card job.

ALSO: We recall the time when Big Show beat up Roman Reigns on top of a car.

When we get back, we get the video montage of Reigns and Show that will probably run before their DOA match at Extreme Rules.
MATCH #3: Curtis Axel vs. Fandango
Axel dances to Fandango's music before the match starts. Axel hits a dropkick after an initial mix-up, then rips his Axelmania t-shirt. Fandango nearly wins with a Distraction Roll-Up, but Axel thankfully kicks out. Fandango hits the Sitting Suplex and his Flying Legdrop for the win at 1:17.
WINNER: Fandango via Flying Legdrop
RATING: N/A - squash - Welcome back, Fandango. Hopefully, they find something to do with him after his first go-round.

TONIGHT: Who ever wins Miz vs. Miz-dow gets the "Miz Brand". Between that and "Bella Brand", I can hardly handle the suspense.

Triple H is out to do his Tough Enough "announcement", where he, presumably, calls out Maven for WrestleMania 32.

He says that the Authority had to make a decision in the face of chaos: the Authority was at a crossroads -- so, they chose Seth Rollins to lead them. He says it's time to find the next guy like Rollins, the guy who becomes Champion, then has his move banned.. That starts June 23 on USA. Tough Enough returns. Crowd puts down nachos and mildly applauds, kinda. He asks the crowd if they've ever dreamed of being a WWE Superstar. Nearly nobody responds. He asks them to imagine what it's like to be a champ in WWE. DEAD. SILENCE. He says that dreams become reality tonight. He tells fans that they can apply for the show via video and tells the crowd to show that they're truly...tough...enough.

Kane's music hits and he gets about the same response as the Tough Enough return announcement. Triple H mocks him saying that he's "too seasoned to be in Tough Enough". Kane says that he's done nothing but send Triple H angry messages all week about Seth Rollins' complete lack of respect. He says he helped Rollins win and he's not dealing with Rollins anymore. Kane is giving his two week's notice. Triple H doesn't want that and wants to talk backstage.

Rollins interrupts and we finally get the 20-minute talk-a-palooza WWE had deprived us of an hour ago. He says that Kane should quit. They bicker. Triple H tells the two of them to back off. Kane says that Rollins has been GIVEN everything, including the MITB case AND the belt. He says they could have made El Torito champion. Triple H gets between them and tells them both to shut up. He says that Kane has been nothing but loyal -- so, at Extreme Rules, Kane is gonna be "The Guardian of the Gate". Kane will stop anyone from entering or leaving the ring who isn't supposed to enter or leave, making me wonder if Orton meant to pick Hell in a Cell instead.

Rollins doesn't like this at all and says that Kane isn't gonna play fair. Triple H: "That's why you need to get on the same page as HIM." Kane puts his hand out. Rollins shakes it and storms off. 

(Good segment here. Ironically, it worked when Kane went on his rant, getting in Rollins' face about the silver spoon treatment of Rollins.)

We get clips of last week's classic "Divas Battle Royal" where Naomi "turned heel" after losing.

NEXT: Naomi's in a match...but, 'member: she's evil now!!!

Rollins is backstage, arguing with Kane. Triple H interrupts them and tells them to shut up. Triple H tells Kane that he's Korporate Kane now, not the Devil's Favorite Demon. He tells Triple H that he IS the Demon...and he will prove it. He storms off. Triple H tells Rollins that he's only champ because of people like Kane. That doesn't make him champion. Proving that he's champion means fighting night after night. Tonight, Rollins faces Dolph Ziggler. Rollins isn't happy. Triple H tells him to show the world what he already knows. Rollins says he's gonna destroy Dolph.
Naomi doesn't dance down to the ring. She walks. The heel turn's in full swing. On the plus side, that means a possible moratorium on the Funkydactyl music.
MATCH #4: Naomi vs. Brie Bella (w/ Nikki Bella)
Oh, look. The Bellas are faces by default. Cole awkwardly hits on Nikki as Brie and Naomi fight in the corner. Naomi hits an uppercut and a snap mare. Side headlock by Naomi. Brie breaks and hits a clothesline, but eats a Nikki-style forearm from Naomi. Naomi knees Brie in the head and Brie sends her out of the ring. When we come back from break, Naomi's beating on Brie in the ring with her "aggressive new attitude", which is pretty much the same exact Naomi. Nikki: "This is the same Naomi you saw last week." Naomi stomps at Brie and tosses her to the mat, beating on the back of her neck. Headlock by Naomi. Brie breaks and the two rush at each other as Nikki yells "C'MON BRIE" over and over and over. After a mutual clothesline, Brie hits the running knee and Brie Mode Drunken Dropkick of Doom. Two count. Naomi hits a Buckle Bulldog, but misses a crossbody. Brie knocks her down and gets two. Naomi hits THEREARVIEWOUTOFNOWHERE and gets the win at 9:09.
WINNER: Naomi via Rear View
RATING: *1/2. A match that went on far too long. On top of that, the reverse turns don't work. It's hard to hate or love either of these women. Both the Bellas were calling Paige "Casper" a couple weeks ago and, now, we're supposed to buy Nikki "feeling bad" for Paige? And we're supposed to believe Naomi's a heel -- even though Creative has her coming out to her fun disco music?

Heath Slater and Erick Rowan are eating salads backstage. Rowan leaves. Orton RKO's Slater, eats a tortilla chip, then says, "That's three."

Roman Reigns is out to talk. Or not. He just wants Big Show NOW.

And that brings out Bo Dallas for a massive bump. He quotes Yoda in "the greatest Star Wars movie ever made: Episode I", then says that Reigns is "a bust" and the "Tim Tebow of WWE" as this segment is now as painfully ironic as it gets. He does the Bo-lieve shtick, then takes a Superman Punch and Spear. He will beat Big Show -- and he can BO-lieve that.

STILL TO COME: Rollins vs. Ziggler

AT EXTREME RULES: A "Kiss Me Arse" Match. Oh...no...

MATCH #5: Sheamus vs. Zack Ryder
The bell rings. Sheamus has a mic. He hits a Brogue and tells the audience he could pin Zack Ryder for three. He asks where the fun is in that. But, where's the fun in that? Instead, he continues the beating and puts Ryder on the buckle, then knees him in the chest. He tells Ryder that he doesn't belong in the ring with him. So he dumps Ryder outside, which WWE's video crew just has to show again in slow-motion. Another kick for Ryder, then he rolls Ryder into the ring and mocks the New York crowd, asking where their city's spirite is. He puts Ryder in the corner for another Brogue -- but Ziggler shows up to save the day. Sheamus misses the Brogue on Ziggler and takes a Zigg Zagg, rolling out of the ring. DQ at 3:32.
WINNER: Sheamus via DQ
RATING: DUD. Sheamus doesn't care what people think of his hair. He's all-in on this gimmick. 

WWE Network is free all month. Again. Does this thing EVER bring in money?
NEXT: Cena Open Challenge

Out comes Cena for his match and asks Albany why they seem to be fading. He wants them cheering. They do. This Sunday, they go EXTREME. He says that Rusev seems to have fans where ever they go, which is funny, since Cena beat him at WrestleMania. Crowd is suddenly caught between their alliance to king and country and their hatred of Cena. Cena outlines Rusev's "plan", which consists of "using the chain a lot". But Cena's got life and he breathes, so, whatevs. He calls out a challenger...and this week it's...
Kane.

MATCH #6: John Cena (champion) vs. Kane (challenger) for the WWE United States Championship
Kane knocks Cena down, then beats him up in the corner. He whips Cena, hard, into the opposite corner, then kicks Cena out of the ring. Rollins and J&J watch the whole thing backstage. Kane goes outside with Cena, beating on him, then rolls him into the ring. Cena goes for his usual moves but Kane catches him and hits the Sidewalk Slam. Cena leaves the ring again. Kane goes after him, but Cena fights back, punching away. Kane tosses Cena into the crowd barrier and Cena just happens back into the ring at seven, which Kane just allows, which tells you how serious Kane is about that coveted title! Kane covers him for two. Kane works on Cena's arm, pulling at it. Cena falls. Kane pins for two. Cena fights back, hitting Move #1, but Kane immediately hits a big uppercut. Cena goes down. Cena comes back and hits Move #3. He goes for the 5KS but Kane reaches up, grabs his throat and hits a Chokeslam for two. Kane signals for a Tombstone but Cena kicks out and hits the AA for the win at 6:21.
WINNER: Cena via AA
RATING: **. Meh. Again, I don't believe any of these guys are gonna beat Cena. On top of that, these matches are just two guys going through the motions. 

STILL TO COME: Ziggler vs. Rollins

HOLY CRAP: Rock n' Wrestling is after RAW on WWE Network! :D

When we come back from break, Kane is limping backstage. Triple H bumps into him. Kane winces and walks off.

Renee Young has Miz. He says he's the A-List Superstar and he's also the reason Miz-dow has a job anymore. Renee Young cuts him off like it's the Oscars and we go to John Cena.

Cena's with Byron Saxton. Cena brags. Rusev hits him with a chain and locks in the Accolade with the chain across Cena's face. Would have been even better if Rusev had made the Russian flag appear from the backstage ceiling.

MATCH #7: Damien Miz-dow (w/ Summer Rae) vs. The Miz for the "Miz Brand"
Miz-dow tries to roll up Miz but Miz kicks out. Miz tries the back/neckbreaker but Miz-dow stops him and hits a Backslide for two. Miz rolls out of the ring. Miz-dow chases. They both get back into the ring. Miz takes over, kicking at him in the corner. Miz kicks Sandow in the head and gets two. Miz goes for the Miz-line but misses. Miz-dow hits the Miz-back/neckbreakaer and gets two. Lots of countering and SCF attempts by both men but, wouldn't you know it? Summer turns heel and gouges Miz-dow in the eyes. Miz hits the SCF and we're done at 2:45.
WINNER: Miz via Skull Crushing Finale
RATING: *. THAT is how you blow this whole thing off? Poor, poor Miz-dow.

Post-match, Miz eats an RKO like he's trying to hit a quota before Extreme Rules.

Bray gives another dumb promo that means nothing, goes nowhere, and will probably screw somebody over at Extreme Rules.

MATCH #8: Ryback vs. Adam Rose (w/ Rosebuds)
Ryback CA-DUSH!!! Beating, Meathook, Shell Shock, done at 1:31.
WINNER: Ryback via Shell Shock
RATING: N/A - squash

Post-match, two of Rose's Rosebuds -- a hot dog and banana -- attack Ryback and get a Shell Shock. Then Ryback tells a joke: "What did the banana say to the hot dog? Nothing. Their asses got Shell Shocked!" Then, Rosa Mendes appears out of Bumfuck, Nowhere, to align herself with Rose in the most surreal segment on this show.
Renee Young stops Kane and says that Rollins and J&J Tweeted about him. They said they wanna give Kane a gift in denture cream and Depends. Kane busts into the CFO Suite of Doom and forces Rollins to apologize -- and, surprisingly, he does. He says he's "on edge" due to Orton lurking around, RKO'ing everyone (if, by "everyone", you mean 1/500th of the dressing room) and he doesn't wanna burn bridges. In fact, he's dedicating tonight's match to Kane. Yes, pour it on. Sigh...they shake hands and Rollins heads to the ring.

Orton watches Rollins in the hallway and we go to break.

MATCH #9: Dolph Ziggler vs. WWE World Heavyweight Champion Seth Rollins (w/ Jamie Noble & Joey Mercury) (non-title)
Rollins beats on Ziggler in the corner. Ziggler fights back and beats Rollins the same corner, hitting a neckbreaker and elbow drop. Ziggler clotheslines him from the ring. Ziggler follows and punches away. Rollins kicks Ziggler in the stomach as he re-enters but Ziggler hits a dropkick for a one-count. Ziggler hits a suplex but Rollins kicks out at one. Ziggler goes for a dropkick but Rollins grabs his legs and slings him into the buckle. When we come back from break, Ziggler tries to fight out of a headlock but Rollins puts him to the mat as Cole continues to plug the "Kiss Me Arse" match just so he can say the word, "arse". Rollins hits a Side Suplex, getting two. Another headlock by Rollins. Ziggler hits a chinbreaker to get out of it. Rollins tries to hit a splash in the corner but eats the buckle instead. Ziggler counters a Side Suplex and hits a quick lariat and corner splash. He rushes Rollins again, only to get kicked in the stomach, but comes back with a DDT, getting two. Rollins tries a schoolboy, but Ziggler kicks out. Enzuguri by Rollins. Two count. Rollins goes for a Buckle Bomb. Ziggler counters and rolls him up for two. Ziggler hits a Superkick and NEARLY gets a fall. Ziggler gets up -- and here comes Sheamus to interfere. Rollins grabs Ziggler for a Buckle Bomb and his new move to avoid a head injury to superstars, a DDT...HUH?!
WINNER: Seth Rollins via DDT at 11:32
RATING: **. Eh. This was another Rollins/Ziggler match with an OK finish. Nothing special. The Curb Stomp needs to be put back into play if a DDT is "OK".

Post-match, Rollins celebrates and tells the crowd that he's gonna beat Orton to retain the championship.
Triple H interrupts and congratulates him -- but Rollins interrupts, ripping the mic out of his hands. He wants to "finish his thoughts". He mentions Kane -- who shows up. J&J try to get in his way, then Triple H gets in his way as well. Seth calls for the cage to be lowered -- and it is -- except Orton is in the ring with Rollins. Rollins tries to escape but Orton RKO's him ON HIS HEAD (OH NOES!!!) and stands tall as we go off the air -- oh, but wait -- Cole has to plug Hulk Hogan's Rock n' Wrestling, that great, groundbreaking moment in animation! Jesus...

OVERALL: **. Decent show with your usual two hours of filler.

And I present the return of The Best of Monday Night Open Mic:
























Er...that's it.

330 comments:

  1. BRRAAAAAIIIINNNNSSSSS.....

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  2. A 9 minute Diva match and they give it to a Bella and the woman who hits people in the face with her area?

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  4. I actually lost two stone by getting a severe chest infection and breaking a rib from coughing. The lack of sleep, loss of appetite and general strain of being on my feet all day showed tremendous results.

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  5. Summer Rae turned heel.

    Does the WWE have ANY active women who are faces?

    (Are the Bellas now face by default)?

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  6. Does Renee Young count?

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  7. It does seem that the network is free all the time even though it's probably like every 2 or 3 months. I wish Netflix was like that.

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  8. Rollins new finisher looks suspiciously like Dirty Deeds.

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  9. This show sounds like a hot mess.

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  10. YankeesHoganTripleHFanApril 21, 2015 at 5:13 AM

    Matt's fat. His argument is invalid.

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  11. Rollins' new move isn't exactly a DDT. In a DDT Rollins would fall backward, but here he drops forward. The point is, the opponent is dropped more on his face than on his head, which is why it's "okay" by WWE standards.

    Also, I knew they'd fuck up Miz/Mizdow's feud. It didn't even last until a PPV.

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  12. F'N Body Slams - Dan SelbyApril 21, 2015 at 5:50 AM

    The Bellas will never be faces. Ever. Just something so irritatingly unattractive about them (i'd smash both of them, but you get me).


    I just can't stand the women's roster right now, utter embarrassment. Surely call a couple of NXT names up?!

    ReplyDelete
  13. F'N Body Slams - Dan SelbyApril 21, 2015 at 5:51 AM

    Boy, a FREE report, just for me?!


    Crackers! (I bet you can eat them on this fake robo-diet)

    ReplyDelete
  14. F'N Body Slams - Dan SelbyApril 21, 2015 at 5:56 AM

    It's essentially a DDT with a front bump instead of a back bump. I'm sure Christian used to use it.

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  15. seems like an off day for both raw and the blog. I only got a chuckle from one of the top comments, and kane in the overrun was just sad.

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  16. Hey, maybe Kane will become disillusioned with what he's become and transition back to more of a ......I don't know..... a demon character. That'd be a new direction for him....

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  17. I will say that I fully support merciless Ryder beatings.

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  18. Maybe he'll renew his dental license?

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  19. Using the chain a lot sounds like a reasonably solid plan to me.

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  20. Danielle is cute though. So there's that.

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  21. Kane had a 2 star match? isn't this show of the year by default?

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  22. Christian's was from behind, but yeah, that's the nearest comparison.

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  23. ROCK-em SOCK-em Robot!!!!April 21, 2015 at 7:01 AM

    Fuck yeah! The Ryback gets a program!!!

    ReplyDelete
  24. If anyone can, Seth can.

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  25. Or it's be a way to let Rollins get himself disqualified.

    ReplyDelete
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  29. ROCK-em SOCK-em Robot!!!!April 21, 2015 at 7:10 AM

    I know! I'm excited The Ryback's getting a program too!!!!

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  30. Morishima was booked a lot like Lesnar during his ROH title run. Underrated champion and a forgotten part of the company's history. Plus, the right guy beat him.

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  31. Rollins' DDT looked like shit

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  32. Not banned eh? That's a relief! Expect Cena to debut a shitty curb stomp next week.

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  33. So is the Curb Stomp a MDK move now?

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  34. At least it wasn't The Playmaker/Play of the Day/Overdrive/shitty leg behind the head spinning neckbreaker thing that does no damage.

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  35. I'm not sure if Wyatt is ready to tangle with a mind as elaborate as Rybacks. The mind games are gonna go through the roof!

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  36. ROCK-em SOCK-em Robot!!!!April 21, 2015 at 7:17 AM

    Mind Games don't work on Da Big Guy!

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  37. It would be kind of funny if they played it that all of Bray's mind games and cryptic quotes don't unnerve Ryback b/c he's too dumb.

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  38. ROCK-em SOCK-em Robot!!!!April 21, 2015 at 7:22 AM

    He doesn't know the definition of all the words Bray used so they don't intimidate him!

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  39. Bray Wyatt vs. Ryback? Jesus, this would be the point where you jumped promotions if there were still anywhere else to go.

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  40. Has Bray been bullying anybody? Because that might give the Ryback a reason to get angry.

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  41. so it's not banned....but he won't use it? I am assuming it will be like Orton's punt and while the RKO is the main finisher he will pull the Curb Stomp out when nothing else works?

    I still can't believe they let he use the move this long..get it over as one of the big moves in WWE and put the belt on him at the biggest show of the year ......THEN decide oh hey...this thing might be dangerous.

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  42. Watching the highlights of that Ziggler/Rollins match from last night on Youtube. A minute in before Cole says "creates separation".

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  43. Stupid people are notoriously hard to truly win an argument with as they tend not to understand when they've lost.

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  44. It would be like the futurama episode of the brains vs fry

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  45. As Austin said last week, Ziggler's elevated DDT is so much better than the Zig Zag. As is the super kick.

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  46. Very observant. You get a gold star.

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  47. Someone died in the UK this week because they took some online diet pill that ended up basically burning her alive inside. Awful story.

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  48. I decided to watch the NBA playoffs instead of Raw. Did I miss anything good?

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  49. Bray: "do you know you've lost your soul and bla bla Bray talk bla blah" Ryback: "......I don't lose I'm the big guy"

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  50. He'll pump up his sneakers before he does it, too.

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  51. I always liked the idea of 2 finishers: the regular finisher and the super duper no one kicks out of this one. Maybe the curb stomp will be that for rollins

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  52. Seth's DDT reminded me a bit of Barry Windham's old implant DDT.

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  53. Springboard Curb Stomp.

    ReplyDelete
  54. They should have Ryback desperately flip through a Rosetta Stone book during one of Bray's promos.

    ReplyDelete
  55. So it's not banned Vince just wants to........Curb your enthusiasm for the move...drops mic

    ReplyDelete
  56. You need to put on the sunglasses before you say that

    ReplyDelete
  57. 2-0 on the pelicans... They should just cancel wrestling during real sports. Was there anything on raw worth watching or should I just wait and see it in June since they'll be doing the same matches until then anyway?

    ReplyDelete
  58. I would have but I saw someone already did that in the night thread last night.

    ReplyDelete
  59. http://www.picgifs.com/reaction-gifs/reaction-gifs/laughing/picgifs-laughing-35443.gif

    ReplyDelete
  60. "Was there anything on raw worth watching"

    http://www.picgifs.com/reaction-gifs/reaction-gifs/laughing/picgifs-laughing-35443.gif

    ReplyDelete
  61. ahhhh I now have two of these playing at the same time...room spinning ...can't breath....

    ReplyDelete
  62. *tempted to post a third one....*

    ReplyDelete
  63. To really piss off austin, seth should start using the stun gun

    ReplyDelete
  64. Rollins was beaten at Wrestlemania by the RKO. He's not stupid.

    ReplyDelete
  65. Wyatt/Ryback.

    Holy shit.

    Did Bray not shake Taker's hand or something?

    ReplyDelete
  66. They should flip the script and give Bray's promos to Ryback and have Bray out their just spouting catch phrases

    ReplyDelete
  67. The curb stomp seemed relatively safe.

    ReplyDelete
  68. The wording in yesterday's report seemed like they are trying to save the Curb Stomp for special matches or situations and not ban it 100%.

    ReplyDelete
  69. ROCK-em SOCK-em Robot!!!!April 21, 2015 at 7:36 AM

    I am fucking shocked, SHOCKED I tell you, that Wrestlezone got something wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Why not? It's a pointless midcard feud anyway, let them just get completely absurd with it. It won't help either guy long-term anyway.

    ReplyDelete
  71. This is exactly what I was getting at.

    ReplyDelete
  72. They really need to put the wyatts back together...go the extra mile and add Bo too as the Toadie to Bray's Scutt Farkus

    ReplyDelete
  73. If they run an angle where someone pummels Bray, Bo screams "I'm getting my dad!" and comes running out with IRS, I will personally send the WWE an extra $9.99 a month.

    ReplyDelete
  74. I don't think it has anything to do with the move being dangerous. The WWE's been on this thing for a while now where they don't want to do anything on TV that kids could try to mimick and end up killing someone. It takes more than most kids have to try to do an F5, but anyone can curb stomp somebody and you can easily break someone's neck doing it.

    Now, this mission doesn't make sense, seeing as a non-worked punch can kill someone, but since when has not making sense stopped the modern day WWE?

    Also, they're being sued over concussions. Probably not a good look to have your world champion curb stomping people.

    ReplyDelete
  75. I just realized the whole Ralphie Scutt angle was how they could/should have turned Cena heel

    ReplyDelete
  76. C'mon man, no need to bring the BOD into this.

    ReplyDelete
  77. I was being vague with dangerous but everything you say in that (minus the concussion suing) isn't anything new and still goes along with my...it took them this long to decide to walk it back?

    ReplyDelete
  78. They just don't have any direction for Bray. Please get him and Bo together and reform a stable.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Jericho interviews Steph on his next network podcast.

    That should be interesting.

    The guy who won't step outside the company's guidelines interviewing the person who can't speak except in business-oriented buzzwords.

    ReplyDelete
  80. The ultimate cure for insomnia.

    ReplyDelete
  81. This doesn't sound interesting at all.

    ReplyDelete
  82. Everyone kicks out of finishers no le anyways.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Or let him go somewhere else. His character is dead in the water.

    ReplyDelete
  84. They started it!

    ReplyDelete
  85. These daily update threads, even the ones the day after Raw, seem to be limping along lately. I guess that's a reflection of the current state of wrestling.

    ReplyDelete
  86. Rollins should do a bit that he busts out new finishers all the time so his opponents don't know what's coming.

    ReplyDelete
  87. An F5 is a fireman's carry. It really isn't hard to do to someone, even if you're not particularly strong. You gotta get some air to do the curb stomp.

    ReplyDelete
  88. and when she does..she says things like the Charity PR thing or comparing 9/11 to the Feds going after her dad.

    ReplyDelete
  89. "So Stephanie, please tell us MORE about how hard it is to be the greatest philanthropist on the face of the planet. Is your heart made of 24 karat gold or are you truly mortal like the rest of us? And how does it feel to be one of the greatest writers of our generation... I remember our feud with Triple H where you wrote me out of Raw by having me buy hand lotion and walk your dog... it was so GREAT to be involved with that level of genius and I'm truly thankful I got to pick your brain during that brief amount of time."

    ReplyDelete
  90. Who's next for Jericho on his WWE Shill Podcast Tour, the Miz?

    ReplyDelete
  91. I don't think I start paying attention to WWE until roughly SummerSlam.

    ReplyDelete
  92. An F5 is more than that. The fireman's carry is the first part. Now you gotta get the guy up and over your head with nothing but your core muscles, one arm and momentum. Much harder than it seems.

    ReplyDelete
  93. Maybe Bray will just give up talking and shit in Ryback's sandwich after he asks to be fed more

    ReplyDelete
  94. that would be kind of awesome. Kaynon was doing that for a bit and it was cool but you know...wcw

    ReplyDelete
  95. Yes. That was the joke.

    ReplyDelete
  96. Buffalo HopscotchApril 21, 2015 at 7:58 AM

    He needs some followers back. What good is a cult leader without anyone to lead? Just watch some old stuff Raven did with his Flock and copy that.

    ReplyDelete
  97. He could steal Eugene's bit and start doing old finishers from the past.

    ReplyDelete
  98. Buffalo HopscotchApril 21, 2015 at 7:58 AM

    Not the worst idea, but he kinda had that already with the Phoenix Splash.

    ReplyDelete
  99. Oh, I completely glossed over the part where you wrote 'That should be interesting'. Sorry, wasn't trying to make a bad joke.

    ReplyDelete
  100. That reminds me of an episode of Justified where Daryl Crow, this big redneck dude played by Michael Rappaport, gets into a fight with one of Wynn Duffy's bodyguards who attempts to use MMA techniques on him. Crow just picked him up and slammed him through a table and goes, "that kung-fu shit don't work on me."

    ReplyDelete
  101. God. That Q+A she did on Twitter a while back. "Do you like being a mom?" Jesus.

    ReplyDelete
  102. They won't seem to fully commit to the "cult leader" gimmick, like they're afraid of offending someone or going too far. Similar to when they clearly crucified Steve Austin but kept referring to him being "tied to the Undertaker's Symbol".

    ReplyDelete
  103. My favorite part of raw was when Draymond Green locked up Anthony Davis. But yeah the old ass 6 seed spurs are the favorites for sure!

    ReplyDelete
  104. I do know WCW. It was awesome.

    ReplyDelete
  105. "So Steph how is lucy the dog?"

    ReplyDelete
  106. So be it austin or jericho who is there to interview? Another Vince? Rock, Taker, ...anyone else?

    ReplyDelete
  107. They're probably scared that children would copy Bray and start their own cults.

    ReplyDelete
  108. Eva Marie! Gotta sell the next season of Total Divas!

    Jericho: "So tell me about the next season."

    Eva Marie: "It's gonna be really cool. Like, really interesting, you know?"

    Jericho: *nods*

    Eva Marie: *smiles for no reason*

    *59:25 of silence*

    ReplyDelete
  109. Not banned but just told please don't do the move any more.

    ReplyDelete
  110. They would compliment each other's scarves at some point

    ReplyDelete
  111. There's no one interesting to interview because the WWE Tractor Beam will ultimately pull them back in if they start to be too frank or veer too far from the company line.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Why are you being a fucking hater for? Act like you've been here before.

    ReplyDelete
  113. ROCK-em SOCK-em Robot!!!!April 21, 2015 at 8:10 AM

    It's what happens when a perpetually cursed team becomes good.

    See also: Red Sox fans

    ReplyDelete
  114. Worst_in_the_WorldApril 21, 2015 at 8:10 AM

    It doesn't seem like that got it wrong.


    They reported that WWE wouldn't let Rollins do the move anymore.

    And in reality, he won't ever be doing the move anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  115. If this is The Cubs year... I will be horrendous!

    ReplyDelete
  116. If anything even remotely interesting happens during that Jericho interview, I guarantee one of next weeks daily updates will have a line about WWE being very unhappy with Chris Jericho.

    ReplyDelete
  117. Shit, the Mets are 10-3 and I don't know how to act.

    ReplyDelete
  118. NEW ON THE WWE NETWORK The Taz Pdocast

    ReplyDelete
  119. Worst_in_the_WorldApril 21, 2015 at 8:12 AM

    It's unreal how fucking boring everything in WWE is and how unover pretty much the whole roster is.

    Based strictly on overness, this is one of the shittiest fucking rosters I've ever seen in WWE.

    ReplyDelete
  120. I actually won't be that way as I will assume I'll jinx it...and even if they were to win..I would be holding my breath that someone gets busted for roids and some games get taken away.

    ReplyDelete
  121. You'd be better off watching a soccer team play basketball in sneakers on an ice hockey rink than watch Raw.

    ReplyDelete
  122. This has to be one of the worst creative runs ever. I mean when you take the ammount of talent they have and then look at how ever people are.

    ReplyDelete
  123. ROCK-em SOCK-em Robot!!!!April 21, 2015 at 8:15 AM

    Overness isn't a roster problem. Overness is a booking problem.

    ReplyDelete
  124. It really sucks that the young guys like Rollins will get blamed for it when they've never been given an opportunity to go over the big stars. You know things are dire when Randy Orton is main eventing PPVs.

    ReplyDelete
  125. Kane and Big Show are being used as top heels in 2015. There's a roster problem.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Worst_in_the_WorldApril 21, 2015 at 8:16 AM

    Also it's amazing what a totally nothing act HHH has become. That dude couldn't buy a reaction last night. They really need to just take him off TV for 10 months or else by the time they try and do his Mania feud against The Rock he'll be less over than fucking Kane.

    ReplyDelete
  127. There are hosses you can plug in their roles and not miss a beat. That's a booking problem.

    ReplyDelete
  128. If they do that ..maybe they could...not have every major feud filtered through the authority..I know it's sounds crazy...but

    ReplyDelete
  129. Would it be THAT much harder to use like, Luke Harper in the Kane position and a very large rock or something in Big Show's?

    ReplyDelete
  130. Hey according to the blog Orton is extremely over. Don't let his dull matches and zero fan reaction fool you

    ReplyDelete
  131. Worst_in_the_WorldApril 21, 2015 at 8:18 AM

    We've been over this before. yes, I agree the roster is full of talented guys who can do cool movez and be great wrestlers if given the chance. Yes, it's 100% a booking problem.

    But the terrible booking has created a roster full of unover guys who aren't worth a damn anymore.

    Bray Wyatt is someone who had all the talent and potential in the world. But it doesn't matter when he's now basically worth jackshit to audiences.

    ReplyDelete
  132. "So Hunta, that was a good piece of business we did when I was ECW champ and you pinned me on Smackdown, bro!"

    ReplyDelete
  133. Even when Orton's storylines and matches get over, like, ugh, the Christian feud (another wrestler I can't stand) it's midcard stuff. I haven't seen Randall get a top guy reaction since 2009/2010.

    ReplyDelete
  134. Just rest easy in the fact that not only do the Cubs have a good core of young talent, they have ownership that wants to win and management that is on the cutting edge of scouting, drafting, and development.


    We're at a point now where individual players don't matter as much because the system will keep producing talent.

    ReplyDelete
  135. ROCK-em SOCK-em Robot!!!!April 21, 2015 at 8:19 AM

    That's more a booking problem. And really there's no one else to fill the "giant" role, so I give Big Show a pass.

    Kane needs to go, however.

    ReplyDelete
  136. Worst_in_the_WorldApril 21, 2015 at 8:19 AM

    They're just actively killing guys off left and right now, it's nuts.

    ReplyDelete
  137. It's a problem they're on the roster at all.

    Is a "giant" something we need? And speaking of- they're bringing Khali back, because reasons.

    ReplyDelete
  138. Hmm...this is true. And it ain't easy to rebuild someone when you've conditioned the audience to see them as a chump.

    ReplyDelete
  139. Worst_in_the_WorldApril 21, 2015 at 8:20 AM

    Orton's a nice little midcarder, but as a main eventer he's been a massive dud everytime.

    ReplyDelete
  140. If they freshened his look and trunks and music and stuff he MIGHT be tolerable toward the top. I mean, he is fully capable of delivering a ***1/2 to ***3/4 match but the guy has a talent ceiling and the character is as stagnant as Cena who is a better worker.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Worst_in_the_WorldApril 21, 2015 at 8:21 AM

    And the problem is they've pretty much conditioned the audience to see everyone on the roster as a chump. Short of HHH, Steph, and the part-timers this whole roster is presented week after week as a gaggle of losers.

    ReplyDelete
  142. which would make sense from a Vince point of view if they had an Austin, Rock, HHH, Foley, Taker and Angle. If they had a hand full of guys super over you could at least understand their not wanting to clog up the top of the card and hold guys back but...on the face said you have Cena and Orton (for the last 10 years) on the heel side you have Rollins (the one guy they have done right) and some where out there the most over guy in the company sits at home on his farm..hunting deer with his bare hands

    ReplyDelete
  143. Back in the day they would have given Cesaro the "European guy who wants to be American and always talks about loving American things" gimmick. He'd be way over by showing a basic appreciation for simple things we take for granted, and he'd get a run against Rusev or partnering with Cena.


    But apparently he's not connecting with the fans, so whatever.

    ReplyDelete
  144. ROCK-em SOCK-em Robot!!!!April 21, 2015 at 8:22 AM

    One giant is useful as a storytelling trope.

    A seemingly insurmountable opponent is a great tool for getting a face over with casuals and kids. The problem with Big Show is he's used up and there is no one to take his place.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Stone Cold Randy Orton has been such a breath of fresh air after years of Jorts McHogan, and then the past few months of Reigns being shoved down our throats.

    ReplyDelete
  146. I know Kane was around stinking up the joint still, but I
    enjoyed Raw much more when there was no Authority around. Rollins did a
    perfectly fine job of building up himself and his angles without people talking
    for him. Shame the ratings were way down from the post-Mania Raw (mainly I'd
    presume because half the people Mania was built around are no longer on the
    show).

    ReplyDelete
  147. Wasn't that shot down?

    ReplyDelete
  148. If the Curb Stomp is a problem, I'm fine with not using it. I didn't really like the look of his new move though. Maybe it'll grow on me.

    ReplyDelete
  149. Worst_in_the_WorldApril 21, 2015 at 8:24 AM

    So HHH making the big Tough Enough announcement probably put the TV ratings through the roof, right?

    ReplyDelete
  150. HHH's whole gimmick was being an asskicker who was always looking for a fight. You take that aspect away from him, and what's left? No one gives a fuck about corporate executive HHH.

    ReplyDelete
  151. So what you're saying is, if they completely overhaul his look and character he can get over. Yikes. Your 2 type guys and one of them seemingly needs a heel turn to because he's stagnant and the other needs to completely change everything about him. I think Orton should go away and come back with long hair and a goatee, just because I think that would look ridiculous and humorous.

    ReplyDelete
  152. I wonder how many non-wrestling things have to die an awful death for WWE to scale back on them and start re-focusing on the actual wrestling shows.

    ReplyDelete
  153. Meh, people act like the Spurs are this invincible force even when they're a sixth seed. They looked mediocre for most of the year, heated up towards the end, and now everyone immediately acts like they're gonna go '01 Lakers on everyone so I'm sure fans of the team that's been the clear best for most of the season that's been overlooked for no reason other than they're not the team most people are used to being good will develop a chip on their shoulder.

    ReplyDelete
  154. Cena vs Orton,one more timeApril 21, 2015 at 8:25 AM

    WWE is about as interesting as the upcoming British general elections.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Worst_in_the_WorldApril 21, 2015 at 8:26 AM

    You also gotta love John Cena basically having to beg the crowd to wake the fuck up. Always a sign that your show is doing gangbusters is when you have to send your main hero out there to grovel for any kind of reaction.

    ReplyDelete
  156. 1. Vince still might not even know what "a Netflix" is.
    2. I have no trouble this being a "of course we are able to do this and succeed, too!"-situation (I mean, correct me if I am wrong but I don't recall the WWF poaching important executives from Hard Rock Cafe when they opened their New York restaurant. afair they were convinced they could do it "themselves").

    ReplyDelete
  157. Are you not entertained?

    ReplyDelete
  158. They need to bring in Shawn Bradley, Diekembe Mutumbo, and Gheorge Muresean. They can fill those giant roles. Or in a more serious fashion, get guys like former football players, MMA heavyweights, or sumo wrestlers to do that. Send them to theperformance center and see who sticks, move them to NXT and there ya go. You got yourself a big fattie.

    ReplyDelete
  159. I didn't say "get him over" - I said it would freshen him. His character hasn't made any major changes in ten years since he turned back heel before Wrestlemania 21. It's time for an overhaul.

    Is anybody denying there's a staleness to the top guys at this point? And Orton is the #2? I'd say of the full timers Bryan is far more popular at this point.

    ReplyDelete
  160. :: Sees 10 posts from Worst In The World before hitting Load More Comments ::


    Is it Tuesday already? Man times FLIES!

    ReplyDelete
  161. I have severely burned out on our election with a good few weeks to go. If I see any one of those 6 leaders again I think my exploding head will explode.

    ReplyDelete
  162. Woah woah, don't be too loud. We don't want the baseball gods to hear us being happy and positive.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Kane is absolutely atrocious in his director of operations role. A total lack of charisma

    ReplyDelete
  164. But they had the Big Show there for WrestleMania! If seeing him in person to realize how big he is wasn't enough to make the restaurant a success, then nothing would have worked! He could have cooked your dinner in his frying pan hands if he wanted to!

    ReplyDelete
  165. He is making some solid points.

    ReplyDelete
  166. Hey as long as Dusty Bake rand Alex Gonzalez aren't around you should be good.

    ReplyDelete
  167. Worst_in_the_WorldApril 21, 2015 at 8:32 AM

    By WWE or your posts?

    ReplyDelete
  168. Luke in the Kane position is actually kind of brilliant. J&J security is running its course.


    HHH got to surround himself with an actual stable. Rollins should do the same thing. Luke as an enforcer and then a tag team that can get the crowd pumped. Screw it bring up Enzo and Cass. They've got a NAO thing going on anyway. And then use each other to get EVERYONE over.


    As always, Big Show goes away and does house shows.

    ReplyDelete
  169. Undertaker would be interesting

    ReplyDelete
  170. No I'm agreeing with you. I'm saying it's insane that they have to do that to their top 2. Shows how much they were resting their company on those 2 for too long. I'd say Bryan is the fans number 1-2 but Orton is the WWE's #2. Cena Orton Rollins Reigns Bryan.

    ReplyDelete
  171. I'm as excited as everyone else about the return of Sheamus! In that I'm not in the least bit excited.

    ReplyDelete
  172. The curb stomp is like Orton's punt then. He'll bust it out in big matches.

    ReplyDelete
  173. You're making the assumption that "Giant" is a role that needs to be filled.

    ReplyDelete
  174. Sadly there's more chance of Jericho playing 5 minutes of cowbell than there is of him asking an interesting question.

    ReplyDelete
  175. WitW usually tends to be right

    ReplyDelete
  176. For a blog full of smart fans, how do yall not figure out that maybe.... just maybe they might be trying to protect the move as an ender... like the punt to the head from orton?

    People kick out of the curb stomp, but they shouldnt, so stop using it so it can be kicked out and save it for the big matches and angles.




    ReplyDelete
  177. HowmuchdoesthisguyweighApril 21, 2015 at 8:41 AM

    When bray released Harper and Rowan from the family they should of showed up in suits the next week as part of the authority. They could develop from that role

    ReplyDelete
  178. When was the last time Orton actually hit the punt?

    ReplyDelete
  179. "Ween" Dean AndrewsApril 21, 2015 at 8:43 AM

    Jericho would hit on her and Eva would be all, "I'm not into lesbians and anyway aren't you with Portia De Rossi?"

    ReplyDelete
  180. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©April 21, 2015 at 8:43 AM

    That's the risk they're gonna have to take.

    ReplyDelete
  181. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©April 21, 2015 at 8:44 AM

    He didn't shake it hard enough.

    ReplyDelete
  182. Darth Dr. Facts VaderApril 21, 2015 at 8:45 AM

    Summer Rae turning on Damien Sandow last night was so shocking I had to turn off Raw and not watch it again for 6 months.

    ReplyDelete
  183. Ryder needs to go to TNA like Drew Mcintyre did.

    ReplyDelete
  184. This might sound stupid, but I always thought that post-Mania 30, it would have been neat if HHH got so desperate with beating Bryan or the Shield that eventually he had to make a deal with Bray. Thought that could lead to some interesting future stories with Bray being uncontrollable and going beyond whatever HHH was willing to do.

    ReplyDelete
  185. "Ween" Dean AndrewsApril 21, 2015 at 8:46 AM

    Curb Stomp is being pulled to stop imitators curb stomping anyone in prayer to Allah. Either hatefully or as idiot play gone wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  186. Cena vs Orton,one more timeApril 21, 2015 at 8:46 AM

    What's the point of being a wrestling company if you can't do something even mildly controversial.

    ReplyDelete
  187. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©April 21, 2015 at 8:47 AM

    I feel like it was in 2011.

    ReplyDelete
  188. Them just not bothering to push Sandow right now is ridiculous. Really shows there's no point getting behind anyone who isn't Cena or Orton.

    ReplyDelete
  189. You're the perfect guy in a storm. Or rather, the day after a storm to point out everything that went wrong.

    ReplyDelete
  190. "Ween" Dean AndrewsApril 21, 2015 at 8:48 AM

    What's the best way to make it even more exciting when it does come? Deny it.

    It's working wonders for Hideo and the GTS.

    ReplyDelete
  191. *watches Orton kick out of 3 Curb Stomps Sunday*

    ReplyDelete
  192. "given the racist history of the actual curb stomp"

    what racist history?

    ReplyDelete
  193. Do you still watch WWE?

    ReplyDelete
  194. Rowan, Big E, Cesaro, Rusev, Ryback, Sheamus. 6 guys off the top of my head who could easily fill the "hired muscle" role besides Show and Kane. The roster is not the problem.


    Hell, in 1997 they needed to pull 5 dudes from Mexico and make the mid-carders work double duty just to have enough guys to fill a Rumble. THAT is a roster problem and they still made it work better than it does now.

    ReplyDelete
  195. "Ween" Dean AndrewsApril 21, 2015 at 8:49 AM

    I don't believe Orton has ever hit his wife!!!!???

    ReplyDelete
  196. "Ween" Dean AndrewsApril 21, 2015 at 8:50 AM

    Oh, 'punt'. My mistake. Sorry, everyone

    ReplyDelete
  197. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©April 21, 2015 at 8:50 AM

    A Ryback vs Wyatt feud could be interesting. Not great, but interesting.

    ReplyDelete
  198. ROCK-em SOCK-em Robot!!!!April 21, 2015 at 8:50 AM

    Re: Kane and Big Show going away

    How hard can it be to find new seven footers? There's got to be washed up power forwards and d-linemen out there somewhere.

    ReplyDelete