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The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW–05.13.96

The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 05.13.96

Kudos to the people behind the Network who have finally cleared up all the issues with buffering and crashing as far as I can see. I guess whatever upgrades they did for Wrestlemania have been left in place and I can now use the Roku without wanting to hurl my remote through the screen in anger. I mean, aside from the shitty booking on these shows, but that’s a totally different issue.

Taped from Sioux City, IA

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler

Ahmed Johnson v. Zip the Bodydonna

Hey, using the tag champions as TV jobbers, why not? Actually, the Observer at this point notes that the WWF hired Sal Sincere, Freddy Joe Floyd, TL Hopper and Alex Porteau to fill exactly this sort of position, so at least they were aware of the problem. This match provided me with the perfect opportunity to relate the infamous story about Candido and Ahmed and the hotel room and the bag of coke to my wife. And indeed, Sunny interrupts an Ahmed “promo” before the match and tries to rub baby oil on him. I think he’s already at maximum saturation per square inch of skin. Ahmed quickly overpowers Zip and Sunny distracts the ref, which allows Skip to switch off and take over. Ahmed escapes a chinlock with an electric chair, but the Donnas switch off again, and this time the ref won’t allow it. Ahmed finishes Skip with the powerbomb at 2:28, just like he finished Sunny…well, let’s just move on. *

Meanwhile, The Ultimate Warrior wants YOU to come learn the principles of Destrucity at Warrior University! Kind of like Scientology, but slightly less insane.

The Man They Call Vader v. Duke Droese

Droese valiantly uses his lame offense to go after Vader and they tumble to the floor as we take a break. Back with Vader destroying him with a splash before going to a lengthy chinlock, but Duke fights back with a spinebuster and goes up with a flying splash, which misses. Vaderbomb finishes at 7:42. Why in the blue hell was Vader selling ANYTHING for this goof? Droese was little above a TV jobber by then. Apparently they had Vader doing jobs to Warrior all week at house shows as well at this point. And then they wondered why he didn’t draw on top against Shawn. **

Undertaker and Paul Bearer join us with their gold casket for Goldust. What a lazy feud this was. You’d think they’d at least have Goldust steal the urn and melt it down into an Oscar statue or something. Goldust tries to seduce him and Taker throttles him, but Mankind pops in and lays out Taker again with the Mandible Claw, which kind of foreshadowed the finish of the casket match on the PPV. And then Goldust goes way over the top by straddling Undertaker and licking him, which results in a massive jump cut to Undertaker sitting up and chasing him off. Vince was getting massive heat from the network and sponsors over the Goldust stuff, and rightly so.

Justin Hawk Bradshaw v. Aldo Montoya

Apparently there’s a big house show at MSG on the upcoming weekend, featuring the last appearances of Diesel and Razor Ramon. Wonder if anything significant will happen there which will get buried for 15 years and then overexposed to death in documentaries for years after that? I mean, I doubt it, but you never know. Bradshaw tosses the jellyfish around the ring like a piece of garbage while we get a funny bit with Uncle Zeb introducing himself to Jerry Lawler at the commentary table. See, they already know each other very well after years of feuding and teaming. That’s the joke. Aldo dodges a blind charge and comes back with the Portuguese martial arts, but the CLOTHESLINE FROM HELL finishes him at 3:42. Total squash.

Meanwhile, in Kuwait, Vince is still trying to sell the story of the peace-loving innocent Kuwaitis who yearn for freedom, five years after the Gulf War. Anyway, Bulldog attacks Shawn Michaels on the beach and Ahmed wins a tournament.

Shawn Michaels v. Hunter Hearst Helmsley

OH MY GOD I’M SO SICK OF THIS FUCKING MATCH…oh wait, I guess this is the first one. Never mind. This of course marks the last time HHH would get anywhere NEAR the main event for a long time afterwards. Hunter uses some scientific wrestling to frustrate Shawn, and we take a break. Back with Shawn taking him to the floor with a Cactus clothesline, and Shawn stops to hit on Hunter’s arm candy. Now, keeping in mind that the main storyline is that Shawn is supposed to be falsely accused of going after Bulldog’s wife, how does that possibly help his cause? Clearly he’s a womanizing sleazebag. Those kind of details drive me crazy. Back in the ring, Shawn hits Hunter in the nose a few times and showboats, but Hunter dumps him as Mr. Perfect joins us at ringside and we take a break. How many fucking angles that consist of “Some guy comes down to ringside to scout some other guy” can they run at the same time? COME UP WITH NEW IDEAS! Back with Hunter getting two and he slugs away in the corner before going to a chinlock. Shawn fights out and Hunter punts him in the ribs to put him down again. Shawn makes the comeback, but Hunter hammers him into the corner. Gee, Shawn is sure happy to sell for HHH for some reason…is the headline of the Obvious News Weekly. We take a THIRD commercial break and return with another chinlock for Shawn to fight up from. HHH tries the Pedigree, but Shawn catapults him into the corner and makes the comeback for real. Flying elbow gets two. Hunter actually tries a powerbomb, which Shawn reverses into a rana, and Hunter turns that into a sunset flip for two. Vince trying to call that sequence was the most brain-meltingly stupid thing I’ll see this week, I’m sure. Shawn backdrops out of another Pedigree and finishes with the superkick at 19:01. This was pretty great, and I feel like they might even have something better in them if they, say, wrestle sixty million more times over the period of a decade to work out the bugs. ***3/4

The Pulse

Definitely check out the Shawn v. HHH match, but you can probably skip the rest without feeling too bad about it.

Comments

  1. You have to give HBK-HHH points for actually using nose work as a psychological basis for a chunk of the match. Not something you see every day.

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  2. >Wonder if anything significant will happen there which will get buried for 15 years


    They acknowledged it a year later. And in 1999 as well

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  3. I didn't know Shawn and Hunter faced off before being friends. I didn't see that in Wrestling isn't Wrestling. Oh hey did you know the Blog of Doom was shown on that video? OMG U GUYZ!

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  4. I never quite understood how 1996 was supposed to be that different for Triple H if they didn't do the curtain call. Obviously KOTR was supposed to be his and you have the whole Austin ramifications, but for Triple H he was still IC Champ by the fall and in a fairly prominent feud and being positioned to face an incredibly trusted veteran in his come back in Mr. Perfect. What else could they have planned for him that was so great, you still had Vader, Sid, Bret, Shawn, Taker, and Foley ahead of him regardless in main events not to mention Owen, Bulldog, Faarooq, Ahmed, Mero, Goldust, Savio and Austin all who were more over than Triple H was at this point or not long after.

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  5. Right after the curtain call he did a bunch of clean jobs to Jake Roberts as part of his punishment. One of the reasons he got back into a good position was that he took his fall-guy punishment (since Shawn was the champ, Hall and Nash were gone, and Kid wasn't there) without complaint.

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  6. I guess part of my point that I realized I missed is that they didn't even do anything with Austin, the actual KOTR winner until the fall anyway and that was only because Bret wanted to work with him. I just don't understand where this big push other than the one KOTR win was there for him besides what he got.

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  7. I actually like when they use halves of teams in singles matches, you get a guy who actually knows what he's doing but doesn't have a "spot" as a single to lose.

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  8. Didn't seem like they had anything special for him after he won KOR 97 either. He lost a feud to Mick Foley before he became Shawn's sidekick in DX. Thats when he dropped the blue blood gimmick and got over. Winning KOR didn't really mean anything for him though.

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  9. Yeah WWE portrays it as Austin won KOTR, cut his Austin 3:16 promo and then it was off to the races. Not exactly. Two months later, he wrestled on the Summerslam PRESHOW against Yokozuna (still using his lame Ringmaster music). It was the introducing of Pillman and then of course the feud against Bret that got him over. So even without the KOTR win, Austin takes off. And even with the KOTR win, HHH is a lame mid-carder until he latches onto Shawn's coattails.

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  10. See I look at that Foley feud as essential in his development though, it made him look much tougher for the first time and it also helped to establish and get over of "dangerous" the tandem of Triple H and Chyna could be. That is the feud that elevated him up the card where he could even be seen as somewhat of a worthy backup to Shawn.

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  11. So... What WAS Warrior University?

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  12. That's where your wrong ... it was there that Triple H ushered in the Attitude Era.

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  13. Theberzerker, #1 HUSS CHOMPIONApril 11, 2015 at 9:09 PM

    It's those kinds of questions that get your application to Warrior University DENIED.

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  14. It's what Harvard wishes it was.

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  15. Just don't put Shawn and Helmsley into a special steel cage structure that is larger than the ring and has a roof. Nothing good would come of that.

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  16. Especially without a pre-established nose injury to explain it, ala the Flair-Morton cage match on the Four Horsemen DVD. That takes some commitment.

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  17. I thought it was a wrestling school? Gosh I'm not really sure. Warrior was nuts.

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  18. Terry Garvin School of Self Defense

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  19. Would have been some awesome shit if Brock had welcomed Show to Suplex City.

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  20. Arrow and Flash aren't allowed to use Suicide Squad villians anymore? Huh, that explains Deadshots death. That's stupid but I still really enjoy Arrow and Flash, good shows. Hopefully Supergirl and the other spinoff will be good.

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  21. Hmm.... some of those Convergence titles don't look terrible, and the WB shows are fun.

    Wrestlemania was good.

    I feel like I would have had an answer a few weeks ago.

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  22. There was an article by one of the giant Superman fans who was just angry beyond belief that Superman killed someone at the end, and he specifically pointed out those teasers and the dueling dialogue from the fathers, and him ending with "how could you get the idea of Superman so fucking right THEN and miss it so hugely NOW?"

    I was like, "Fuck, dude, I REALLY would've liked a scene afterwards of Clark specifically saying to Lois or whoever that he now knew that Superman can't kill, but calm down a little!" lol He DID cry when he did it, y'know.

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  23. GOOFY GARVIN FACE!

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  24. I will freely admit that Batman Brave and the Bold was one of my favorite action cartoons. If they gave the show another season I'd be all over it.

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  25. If you saw his match against Foley at KOTR you'd know why. Yuck!

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  26. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:28 PM

    They showed enough fun and levity in Daredevil for me to know they'll definitely have lots of fun with those other shows and characters. It's a shame Spider-Man is too big a deal for the Defenders Series because I would kill to see my favorite comic panel ever be recreated in live action:

    http://goodcomics.comicbookresources.com/wp-content/uploads/2009/12/yakuza4.jpg

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  27. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:29 PM

    I watched some of that with my Nephew on Netflix. It was good light-hearted fun that he enjoyed. There's always room for that especially in cartoon form.

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  28. That's pretty great. What is that from? I know Spider and Cage were in an Avengers team not long ago.

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  29. "You weigh about 134 pounds soaking wet, Tony." He really looks it.

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  30. An encouraging amount of titties in this Game of Thrones premiere. An unsettling amount of man ass.

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  31. But hey, at least it's shapely.

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  32. WWE. This is the only answer.

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  33. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:31 PM

    It takes a real man to admit that.

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  34. Yeah...I totally didn't convince my kids to watch it and then gleefully watched it with them. *ahem*

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  35. "Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome WWE champion Randy Orton."

    Crowd goes indifferent.

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  36. Schiavone trying to insult Jimmy Hart just pales in comparison with the sheer bile Gorilla Monsoon always had for him.

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  37. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:33 PM

    From Brian Michael Bendis' Daredevil run. As great as it is just seeing it, reading the whole run up to that point made it doubly amazing and cathartic. When I first read the issue that appeared in and I saw it I had to put it down for a minute and pump my fist in the air haha.

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  38. ThebrazilianpsychoApril 11, 2015 at 10:33 PM

    Brock doing the Taker sit up and no selling the AA is one of the biggest dick moves ever.

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  39. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:33 PM

    He's a maaaaaaaaan

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  40. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:33 PM

    Brock doing the Taker sit up as he was beating the shit out of Undertaker WAS the biggest dick move ever.

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  41. Brock bless him.

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  42. Cena vs. Orton - this the start of the crowd stealing the show.

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  43. Here's what really pulps my orange about Batman v Superman, and why I think it's going to suck a fat, unrubbered nut: if Marvel had made the second Iron Man movie its big superhero team-up, and then spunoff the characters into standalones, it wouldn't have worked. At least not to the billion-dollar extent that the Avengers did. They did standalones to test the market, built demand, and then finally brought all our favorite heroes together in a massive, badass team-up. And it worked because we spent several movies learning who these people are, and growing to care about them as individuals outside the context of the team.


    But what the fuck is the hook with Batman v Superman? No one is going to have time to be developed, because goddamn EVERYONE is in it. And we hardly even care about this Superman as it is. But DC is just so anxious to blow its Justice League load everywhere that...well, they're probably going to actually blow it.

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  44. Such a maaaaaaan

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  45. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:35 PM

    Reading an interview with the Daredevil showrunner. Asked if there are any other heroes he would want to adapt. He said Spider-Man and Batman. Interviewer says he's sure the people over at Gotham could use a script. Showrunner says he's sure the folks at Gotham got it covered.


    No seriously dude, they could use your help.

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  46. Sweet. Might have to look that up.

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  47. He did... back in '02. It was amazing.

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  48. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:36 PM

    Much as I've liked many of their matches they need to never wrestle again. I think both guys feel similar. At least on TV/PPV.

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  49. Once I start a series, it's REALLY hard to make me stop watching due to my anal, completist nature...I quit "Gotham" after the first 3 episodes.

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  50. Probably because they've literally wrestled 200+ times.

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  51. "I can't stop cumming! I'm sorry!"

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  52. Watching this horrendous submission match, another one of the myriad factors why Austin/Bret was so good - neither one went for pin attempts. That shit only serves to make the wrestler look like a moron, fuck "establishing the stipulation."

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  53. Too bad Cesaro brought that up...

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  54. King Kong Bundy as a litigious jerk is pretty great. I've always had a soft spot for Bundy but his run in WCCW is pretty fun.

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  55. "REVERSE FIGURE FOUR!" wins it for Garvin...it's a Sharpshooter.

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  56. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:38 PM

    I highly recommend Bendis' run if you haven't read it. It stretches from 26-81.


    The panel itself came from Issue #59.

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  57. Cena is enraged at what Randy did to his daddy, so naturally this match will start with armbars and chinlocks.

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  58. Bundy with hair is weird though.

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  59. Christ why has Ron Garvin been brought up multiple times tonight?

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  60. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:39 PM

    I can't give up on it because it's Batman and Donal Logue is awesome as Bullock. But.....I can't call it objectively a good show.

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  61. God, matches that don't naturally flow into the storylines that established them, SO annoying. Listening to Austin continually go off on it and how it chaps his ass too is always hilarious.

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  62. This is a true thing.

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  63. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:41 PM

    Made Valentine and Garvin look like amateurs when they kept going for pins. I can understand a pin attempt once at the beginning. Or possibly near the end when they've had the hell beaten out of them and instincts take over for thinking. But they tried like 10 pinfall attempts to the point where I felt like yelling "We get it pinfalls don't count!"

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  64. Yep, exactly.

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  65. I can't have been the only one who enjoyed Brother Love.

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  66. Cena's music hits and now I can't unhear "John Cena sucks!"

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  67. "I'm just so...I'm JUST SO FUCKING MAD!!!"


    *Grabs a headlock*

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  68. Oh man! Devestation Incorporated is on their way! Bundy, Kabuki! Whom could possibly be next?!

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  69. Bell hasn't even rung and the crowd is already chanting for Bryan.

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  70. I love Donal Logue, it REALLY sucked to have to call it quits with him on the show.

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  71. "A WHOA-man with NO beau-TEE, semi-colon UG-LEEEEE....Sapphire!"

    Again, how can people hate Brother Love, haha.

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  72. I just like rambling.


    If they manage to fuck up Balor though...I will be tremendously surprised.


    Like Owens, I expect. Zayn, Hideo and Neville? If they get past the IC level I'll be pleasantly surprised. The women? Don't expect anything. Same with Corbin and Breeze.


    But Balor? I don't see how Vince can miss the boat on him.

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  73. Who's your favorite wrestler that sucks?

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  74. Sid, not close.

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  75. He wasn't great as a pro, but Dan Severn. Mostly for his badass theme music.

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  76. ThebrazilianpsychoApril 11, 2015 at 10:49 PM

    Big Sexy Poochie, Kevin Nash.

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  77. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:50 PM

    Taz.

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  78. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:50 PM

    Agree! Severn's music was AWESOME. Need to recycle that. They recycled Somebody Call My Momma they can recycle Severn's.

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  79. ThebrazilianpsychoApril 11, 2015 at 10:51 PM

    He wasn't bad in ECW.

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  80. On to ep 4 of Daredevil, the end of Ep 3 was some straight Game of Thrones gore shit.

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  81. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:51 PM

    His matches in ECW usually weren't objectively great but I'm a huge fan of that character.

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  82. If they had kept him as a silent ass kicker, give it to Reigns. It'd fit Ryback too.

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  83. I agree with Sid...If he came back to rule the world, I would approve.

    For some reason, I liked Buff Bagwell.

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  84. That's why Brock fucking rules, he comes for a fight.

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  85. All these jokes about how fat Dusty and Sapphire are with Ventura in the background, it just makes me want to hear Jesse's classic comments tearing apart the announced team weight at WrestleMania VI.

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  86. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:52 PM

    Go on my child. Proceed. Episode 3 was a great look at the lawyer side of Murdock. Even just in those first 3 episodes they really expertly juggle all the aspects of Matt's life past and present. It's impressive.

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  87. Ditto. Great casting choice but the show couldn't hold up

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  88. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:53 PM

    Also, am I crazy or is Jack Murdock a total Frank Mir look-a-like?

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  89. ThebrazilianpsychoApril 11, 2015 at 10:53 PM

    What Roman should be, give him the Tazzmission.

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  90. He'd get on Gorilla about his weight too. Like at Survivor Series '89.

    "You look like you ate a WHOLE pumpkin pie, Monsoon!"

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  91. Okay, even as a non-comics person, I'm convinced from all these comments, I'll have to check out "Daredevil" - the first episode at least.

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  92. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:54 PM

    THE TAZMISSION! THE KATAHAJIME!

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  93. You're not excited for the whole DC Universe to be crammed into one movie for no rhyme or reason? SHOWS WHAT YOU KNOW ABOUT THIS BUSINESS PAL!

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  94. ThebrazilianpsychoApril 11, 2015 at 10:54 PM

    Triple Powerbomb, deadlift style.

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  95. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:54 PM

    Wasn't it WrestleMania 6 where he kept ripping on Monsoon for eating a bunch of Hot Dogs? Haha. Every segment, "put down the Hot Dog Gorilla"

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  96. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:55 PM

    We converted one!

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  97. Taz "I don't need weapons, my fists are my weapons" was a favorite of mine.

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  98. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:55 PM

    I'm impressed Jericho was able to ever do that, granted it was usually to Cruiserweights like Rey.

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  99. Was Sapphire's dancing another example of Vince's multicultural mindset, or is it copacetic with Dusty doing it next to her?

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  100. ThebrazilianpsychoApril 11, 2015 at 10:55 PM

    Making Douglas tap out in less then 3 minutes.

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  101. Speaking of Honky, I met him my senior year of high school.

    Ken Patera had some independent outfit we brought in to raise some money for athletics and Honky was scheduled to be there.

    Long story short, he showed up 45 minutes late, reeked of booze and kept telling us that Hogan was queer with Beefcake.

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  102. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:56 PM

    Perfect type of character for ECW. Everyone is running around using chairs and tables. This motherfucker will just dump you on your head and choke you out.

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  103. Loved the way the morality played out in that one.

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  104. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:56 PM

    Copacetic is a great word. Rarely hear anyone else use it.

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  105. Bad News Brown was pissed at it according to his shoot.

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  106. ThebrazilianpsychoApril 11, 2015 at 10:56 PM

    Build Roman as a monster, but at the same time someone who can do crazy shit for his size, like the suicide dive. He should start watching Mike Awesome's work in ECW. Power guy but can fly.

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  107. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:57 PM

    Yeah the whole show does a great job focusing on both the morality of the violence and consequences of violence just as much as violence itself.

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  108. Oh, I love it.

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  109. ...speaking of Vince's mindset, here's the Big Boss Man coming to the ring with "Jive Soul Bro" playing, Slick dancing down to ringside with him.

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  110. Dusty wanted a jive talking black hooker to be his sidekick... so Vince gave him Saphire, who was a huge fan that liked to help the boys out when they were in town.

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  111. Countdown to Slick dancing with New Day at Wrestlemania Star.

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  112. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 10:58 PM

    I know the first time I heard it was in wrestling but I'm totally blanking on who said it. Maybe the Rock in his WM 14 interview with Gennifer Flowers? I'm drawing a blank.

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  113. The music video for Jive Soul Bro is still one of the five most racist things WWE has ever done. At least as far as one-offs go.

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  114. And then she TOOK DA MON-AYYYYY from DiBiase, inspiring a great Dusty promo in all his heartbreak and the hilarious backstage segment of Hacksaw updating Dusty on the search for Sapphire backstage at the PPV. Detective Hacksaw should've had ongoing segments at that show.

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  115. Kingpin is a fucking ladies man lol

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  116. Part of Lance Rusell's classic call of the Tupelo Concession Stand Brawl Punk Rock Wayne Ferris was part of.

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  117. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 11:00 PM

    Vanessa is gorgeous. I can't even objectify her. She's a beautiful woman.

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  118. When it comes to the most racist things WWE has done, I have to think it's the music video for "Jive Soul Bro" squaring off against the segment showing the birth of Akeem, the African Dream for the grand prize of most racist thing WWE ever did.

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  119. "When ya gonna get mad Big Dust? When ya gonna get even Big Dust?"

    Duggan as a gumshoe makes me laugh. Or, with a pipe and hat like classic Sherlock.

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  120. That frustrating week in fantasy baseball where your guys have a good day and your opponent's team has an even better one.

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  121. Gotcha...I'm half in the bag

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  122. Uh oh! All of a sudden, "HHH pins Booker T at WM19" joins the fray!

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  123. Oh God, the "you people" feud...won by the racist.

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  124. Vince calling Cena "my nigga" rank!

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  125. Just got a notification that Melissa Joan Hart is now following me on Twitter. I have no idea why.

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  126. I still can't believe the white CEO of a publicly-traded company got away with saying the N-word on live television with absolutely no repercussions.

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  127. 4-1! Unfortunately, the dream of perfection died this afternoon. The bigger "wtf" story is how in the hell the Braves are 5-0!

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  128. I got one about Chuck D the other day and Shyla Stylez. Odd pairing to say the least.

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  129. Did you explain it all?

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  130. SABAAAAAAA... SIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIMBAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!

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  131. I love me some Shyla Stylez. If the boobs weren't fake, she'd be ideal. Or close enough.

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  132. Well, he said it with the "a" on the end, not the "er" so it's cool homie.

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  133. List of chants in order for Cena/Orton:

    "Daniel Bryan!"
    "Let's go Cena! Cena sucks!"
    "Daniel Bryan! *clap clap clapclapclap*"
    "Yes! Yes! Yes!"
    "We want Daniel!"
    "Randy Savage! clap clap clapclapclap*"
    "Y2J! Y2J! Y2J!"
    "Undertaker! clap clap clapclapclap*"
    "Boring! Boring! Boring!"
    "Daniel Bryan! clap clap clapclapclap*"
    "You both suck! You both suck!"
    "We want divas! We want divas!"

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  134. Give it time, they'll blow

    That series pissed me off, the Pirates made numerous stupid mistakes. Keep giving Frazier fastballs because why not? Let Hamilton on base every fucking time, go right ahead.

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  135. I did not. Was redirected to the law offices of Ferguson Darling.

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  136. THATS TONY ATLAS!

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  137. It's amazing what the wrestling label will let the business get away with, whether it's that, the independent contractors shit, or Benoit not leading to Congress going nuts.

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  138. Did everybody do their taxes? I'm still trying to get my shit done.

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  139. I would actually be cool with that if they hype said cage match as the final encounter between the two, maybe built up with segments where they fight in a press box but look like they're hugging. But if they have another match three months later...

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  140. Bad News Allen must have been cremated, or he'd have dug himself up.

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  141. Saba Simba, good grief.

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  142. Oh and another Daniel Bryan chant during the Wyatt beatdown.

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  143. I got some advice from Wesley Snipes I should be good.

    Odd thing about Snipes, I drove right by the prison he was in.

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  144. I also got a follow from Zac Stacy and Coby Fleener out of the blue a few months ago, for who knows why.

    Shyla is Canadian which his nice. She's like Teagan Presley. Liked her way more before the boob job.

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  145. ONE OF US
    ONE OF US
    ONE OF US

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  146. Ghetto Blaster for that beer bellied share cropper.

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  147. I was really shocked at the sweep, but winning the game that went until 1:45 a.m. was great because I stayed up all night (paid for it the next day at work, though). McCutchen didn't pound the Reds as hard as he usually does, but I'm sure the Pirates will recover. Baseball is a marathon.

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  148. Topic: What's the farthest anybody in the wrestling business has ever ridden one achievement? I think the Honky Tonk Man is STILL getting mileage on the indys out of his intercontinental title run, but I can't think of any other examples.

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  149. It's been easy to crack wise about Vincent D'Onofrio's weight over the last few years, but it perfectly suits him as Kingpin

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  150. Sheik being the guy to launch Hulkamania in the WWF? This was 1999, so maybe it's toned down, but Mick's first book mentions Sheik trying to get free drinks by giving out 8x10s.

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  151. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 11:10 PM

    He's a great size to play Kingpin, for sure.

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  152. Adam "Colorado" CurryApril 11, 2015 at 11:11 PM

    He is a TERRIBLE actor.

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  153. I made it until just about 1....they usually start slow anyway.

    The fuck are you guys doing employing Kevin Gregg and Jason Marquis?

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  154. HTM is a great salesman. He also worked some good gigs on the shoot interview circuit, which is fine with me because I love to hear him tell stories.

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  155. No idea, especially on Gregg. Makes no sense to have him on the roster while Sam LeCure is in Triple A. Most Reds fans are puzzled.

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  156. Somehow I think Vince would throw the world at Snipes to set up Snipes vs IRS at mania.

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  157. Adam "Colorado" CurryApril 11, 2015 at 11:13 PM

    So the NHL scoring leader finished with only 87 points. What the fuck? And who the fuck is Jamie Benn?

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  158. ThebrazilianpsychoApril 11, 2015 at 11:14 PM

    Does anyone ever played a game called Painkiller?

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  159. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 11:14 PM

    Hulk Hogan is STILL coasting on that whole Hulkamania fad.

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  160. Clearly wants the cawk. Go ahead and send pics.

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  161. Yeah, you go around to doctors claiming fibromyalgia and they give you scripts to go away.

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  162. You guys should be able to hit, but your pitching is thin everywhere.

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  163. Batista: "............................................................... Exactly....................................."

    LOL

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  164. Yeah, lots of uncertainty in the starting rotation and the bullpen has 3 guys that are highly questionable (Gregg, Parra, and Hoover). Hoover has surprisingly started well, but you can't hide that many guys that are just supposed to fill innings in games that aren't close.


    Sucks how Cueto pitched well today and still didn't get a win because of the lack of offense. The bottom of the order is still giving the Reds problems.

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  165. Adam "Colorado" CurryApril 11, 2015 at 11:18 PM

    It amazes me that no promoter has never had a guy called Payne with the Paynekiller as his finisher. That shit writes itself.

    Oh, and fuck Jay Briscoe. Sorry, I was working earlier and it got busy. Like, really busy, I got my ass kicked tonight.

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  166. Why haven't you found a SS that sucks less than Cozart?

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  167. Adam "Colorado" CurryApril 11, 2015 at 11:19 PM

    She's butt ugly without the make-up.

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  168. Maxx Payne in WCW used a Fujiwara armbar as a finisher and called it the Paynekiller.

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  169. "I'm staying with my pick.... BATISTA!"

    Crowd emphatically boos

    "Learn to love it! Learn to live it!"


    They didn't, Ric. They never learned to love it.

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  170. Because there was no hard R. That's why.

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  171. CM Punk's last WWE appearance and he has to sell for Torito.

    *sadface*

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  172. Adam "Colorado" CurryApril 11, 2015 at 11:20 PM

    SS like Ron Harris's shirt on that TNA PPV?

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  173. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 11:21 PM

    To a white man no less while a black man who also once said the word to a white man on TV looked on.

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  174. Adam "Colorado" CurryApril 11, 2015 at 11:21 PM

    I ain't getting shit back, so I'm just going to file this year's return next year.

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  175. I wonder what Scott Steiner would think of Kingpin, specifically about his girth.

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  176. HE'S FAT!

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  177. "We want you to take a hurricanrana from Torito."
    "How can a delicious tortilla-based snack food give me a hurricanrana?"

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  178. I already did those a few years ago.

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  179. Adam "Colorado" CurryApril 11, 2015 at 11:23 PM

    No shit? He was Man Mountain Rock, right? I never got into WCW until the nWo angle started.

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  180. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 11:23 PM

    Kingpin would knock his block off pal.

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  181. Sherri clowning Booker in the background always makes me laugh.

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  182. Adam "Colorado" CurryApril 11, 2015 at 11:23 PM

    No wonder he quit...

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  183. I legit lol'd when they had pictures of him up saying do no let him enter

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  184. All the old timers talk shit about Hogan

    https://duckduckgrayduck.files.wordpress.com/2012/11/andre-the-giant-quote.png

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  185. Yup, and when he was renamed Man Mountain Rock by Vince, it was called the Whammy Bar. Because, of course it was.

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  186. Watched the 2nd ep of Hornhead

    Why was little Matt wearing his glasses at home?

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  187. "Yo, don't be dissin' my niggas, dog. Look, my gang...which i can't talk about because it's super secret...is the most important thing to me now. And if you two don't like it, you can just pass the blunt to the nigga on your left."

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  188. Punk, Rollins and Sandow. Quite a trio of internet darlings we've got here.

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  189. THAT FAT PIECE OF WHITE TRASH THINK HE CAN TAKE ON THE BIG BAD BOOTY DADDY?! THERES ONLY ONE PIECE OF FAT ON FREAKZILLA, AND THATS MY DICK, AND IMA SHOVE IT RIGHT UP HIS ASS!

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  190. Burt Macklin, Man Without FearApril 11, 2015 at 11:25 PM

    Sheesh Andre let Heenan stick to the insults.

    ReplyDelete

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