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The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW–06.17.96

The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 06.17.96

I actually watched the new Jerry Springer “Too Hot for TV” show on the Network this morning because it was only 30 minutes anyway. The Waaaaaaaaah-ditude Era crowd will probably dig it to a certain degree because it’s absolutely raunchy and shows how tame the shows are now by comparison. Basically the first one is called “Love Hurts” and it’s a bunch of 8 minute segments covering topics like Sable & Mero, Hunter & Steph, Lita being a whore, and the Billy & Chuck wedding. Honestly, it would have been better off split into shorter “episodes” and stuck on YouTube because I got tired of it about 20 minutes in and completely lost interest by the time they were at Al Wilson & Dawn Marie. Also, almost none of the “great” moments highlighted there are available to watch on the Network, so there’s that. And even the title is contradictory, as all the “Too Hot For TV” moments already aired on TV! And then they EDITED many of them here anyway! Springer sounds vaguely bored most of the time while doing the narration, which didn’t really help either. I was kind of hoping for a new take on “Are You Serious?” with wacky hosts and Puppet H and stuff, and Springer just doesn’t come off as someone who knows or cares anything about wrestling. I don’t think they’re gonna be able to milk this concept much past 2 or 3 shows, but it’s something different, so fine.

Taped from Fayetteville, NC. Yay for fourth week taping shows.

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler

King of the Ring Quarterfinal: Steve Austin v. Savio Vega

Vega chops away in the corner and gets a leg lariat for two, and Austin flails to the outside to escape. Back in, Austin works on the leg after a cheapshot, which draws Vince’s highest compliment as a worker: He’s mixing it up in rough-house fashion! Savio returns fire on the leg while Vince tells us to “expect the unexpected” tonight and then gives away all the big developments via on-screen graphic. Wouldn’t you maybe want to keep Brian Pillman’s debut a surprise? This episode did a horrid rating anyway, and in fact saved Kevin Sullivan’s job as booker because Nitro won by such a big margin. Savio continues working on the leg and gets a kneecrusher for two. Big splash misses, however, and Austin comes back, but they collide and we take a break. Back with FISTICUFFS erupting and Savio hits the leg lariat for two. Vince is confident in Savio’s chances here, but Austin suddenly debuts the STONE COLD STUNNER out of nowhere and gets the pin at 10:00. Vince, obviously not knowing that the business had just changed forever on this shitty TV show, doesn’t even give the move a name and immediately moves onto a recap of Undertaker v. Mankind. **

King of the Ring Quarterfinal: Marc Mero v. Owen Hart

Steve Austin joins us on commentary, finally showing some personality on his own now. They trade hammerlocks on the mat and Owen complains about damage to his broken wrist. So that cheating Mero goes right after the cast and takes him down for an armbar. He goes up and misses a bodypress, and Owen goes to a chinlock. This poor crowd is SO burned out and tired. We take a break and return with Owen in control with a Boston crab while Mero makes WILDMAN faces to the camera. Oh god, someone shoot this taping and put it out of its misery. Owen with a Perfectplex for two, but a flying splash misses and Mero makes the comeback and finishes with a rollup at 11:35. So dull. *1/2

Meanwhile, Vince cuts to Bulldog doing an interview at a live event, which is supposedly going on at the same time as this show. Bulldog talks some smack and Shawn runs out for a brawl.

Meanwhile, on the Superstar line, who are the 5 new superstars coming to the WWF? The answer is TL Hopper, Freddie Joe Floyd, Alex Porteau, The Goon and Sal Sincere.

Jerry Lawler attacks Aldo Montoya, thus robbing us of a match against HHH. And then after he already piledrives and beats him up, Jake Roberts comes out to save.

Brian Pillman makes his WWF debut, signing his contract at WWF HQ just days after nearly dying in a car accident that basically ended his career as we knew it. He actually had to be pulled out of the hospital with a high fever in order to film it. Pillman gives a tearful thank you for the opportunity.

Jake Roberts v. Goldust

Harvey Wippleman is now suddenly a referee in the payoff of that storyline where he was taking notes at ringside. That one got forgotten almost as fast. Goldust runs away literally for the first 2:30 of the match while Jake does an inset promo promising to help the new generation not to make the same mistakes he did. Well, THAT sure didn’t turn out the way he intended. In fact he ended up doing even more drugs over the next 20 years. Goldust tries to fondle him and then continues his regimen of running away and stalling. Finally he suckers Jake into the post while we get a bizarre bit on commentary with Jerry Lawler spoiling the plot of Mission Impossible. What was THAT about? Jake comes back and slugs away and finally we cut away to Mr. Perfect, who has the SCOOP on the guest referee for Shawn v. Bulldog. But first he wants to watch the end of this match. Not me. And then we take a break. Back with Goldust slowly working Jake’s knee over, giving us some exciting laying around on the mat. Jake comes back with the short clothesline, but Marlena gives Goldust a handful of glitter and he blinds poor Jake with it and pins him at 13:35. Ah, the old Rip Taylor finish. However, justice prevails, as Harvey sees the sparkles on Jake’s face and reverses the decision. Even better! -**

Meanwhile, Jim Cornette announces that the special referee is…Mr. Perfect.

The Pulse

Probably one of the worst episodes of the show I’ve ever seen, although I feel like I say that a lot.

Comments

  1. Puppet H is another one of those things that reeks of someone having fun and creating something funny and worth watching until management finds out about it.

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  2. Am I the only person who didn't find that to be all that funny? I mean, I get the bit and all, it just didn't do anything for me.

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  3. Good call, you win the no-prize today.

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  4. it's funnier than most of WWE's attempts at "Comedy", which usually focus on bowel issues and vomiting. I'll take Puppet H 100 times out of 100 over those options.

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  5. Yeah, I got the joke. I just thought it was a little too on-the-nose.

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  6. Got to love WWE's answer to filling out the roster. Throwing a bunch of Jim Cornette's friends into awful gimmicks to be an upscale version of Barry Horowitz or Steve Lombardi.

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  7. Well they were actually intended to be jobbers. Idea being that the roster was so thin that they couldn't do competitive TV shows with Nitro without jobbing out guys like Candido and HHH all the time, so they hired those geeks to have a named gimmick and then lose on TV.

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  8. Pun intended?

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  9. I'd love to see The Network do a special focused solely on jobbers throughout the years. It'd be a fun nostalgia trip and would even give WWE a chance to get in cheap shots at someone they don't like.

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  10. Adam "Colorado" CurryApril 28, 2015 at 12:06 PM

    Me and Kyle Warne seemed to escape it, for whatever reason.

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  11. That's because you're a big HHH fan.

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  12. Adam "Colorado" CurryApril 28, 2015 at 12:08 PM

    Acero or whatever? He's terrible.

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  13. Adam "Colorado" CurryApril 28, 2015 at 12:09 PM

    Don't insult backyard wrestling by comparing it to XPW.

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  14. "Taped from Fayetteville, NC. Yay for fourth week taping shows."
    Didn't they film in order only at west coast tapings? For east coast tapings, I think they started at 7:00 or so and taped matches that would air over the next few weeks, had the live show from 9:00-10:00, then taped more material from 10:00-11:00. It would make more sense than to tap in order to midnight or later.
    WCW did the same thing with Nitro once in November 1995, taping the next week's show before the live show went on the air.

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  15. Huh. I seem to remember a VERY DIFFERENT introductory press conference for Pillman.

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  16. More of it was shown later.

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  17. I only up voted you for the pun

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  18. Adam "Colorado" CurryApril 28, 2015 at 12:18 PM

    I despise ad breaks during matches. It's one thing if a match is going 20 minutes, but they seem to have one for every match these days, if not during the match at least during the entrances. That and the commentary alone makes Raw unwatchable, never mind the fact that the product blows.

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  19. When did it suddenly become NOT ok to talk with your own readers? Since...what, today? Last night? Last week? Did you make up that rule? Seriously, get over yourself. I
    respect you, but the notion that you're untouchable because of some
    perceived, self-invented "professional poster/reader" dynamic on a personal wrestling
    blog is laughable.

    This is Scott's BoD. Everyone talks and argues with the readers.
    I know you know this. When I was brought on, I wasn't given any guidelines except, "Produce
    shit" and "you might get haters, so just deal with the best you can."

    If you want to verbally smack people around professional writers who won't fight back, I suggest you go visit the New York Times or the Wall Street Journal, not somebody's personal wrestling blog.

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  20. I think the Flair-Savage mid-90s WCW feud gets overlooked a bit. They really did some good stuff throughout 95-96. Of course, it pales in comparison to the original WWF 1992 angle, but still very solid indeed.

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  21. It really continued the WWF angle which was cool.

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  22. That whole thing where someone gets taken to the outside 30 seconds in and then Cole says the same exact thing heading to break really does take you out of things. If they have to do it they shouldn't stick to such a formula

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  23. My curiosity got the best of me and I watched the Springer show this morning too. My thought was similar to Scott's. It's already been seen on TV and most of the stuff could be put on prime time TV right now and no one would blink an eye.

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  24. Rip Taylor maybe?

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  25. But remember, I am the angry one.

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  26. I liked the promos for they had for the network the past few days, like "HEY LOOK WE HAVE ORIGINAL PROGRAMMING ALL WEEK."

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  27. I MUST RESPOND TO EVERYTHING

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  28. "We're back LIVE at the Super Bowl and the Seahawks are in complete control here! During the commercial break, Russell Wilson tossed Tom Brady into the coach's bench and it's been ALL Hawks since then!"

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  29. Is this a good place to put "u mad bro"? Or would you and I hit Fake Dougie levels?

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  30. You make fake dougie look like Shakespeare.

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  31. It was a good feud but didn't lead to as many great matches between the two as you would think...especially in comparison to the Savage-DDP feud a year later. Those were gold.

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  32. Its pretty odd in retrospect that Austin got a complete makeover and was booked to win the KotR, yet they barely do anything to push the guy before OR after the event. I know the WWF ret-conned the story to say they started pushing him to the moon but the guy won the KotR, gave the best promo ever, came up with the best slogan ever and ends up on the SummerSlam pre-game show vs. Yokozuna. Unreal.


    Vince McMahon is the luckiest SOB who has ever walked this planet. He fell ass-backwards into the biggest money maker in pro wrestling history.

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  33. Thanks for the "constructive criticism". :D

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  34. BTW - we might see a Shakespeare account now, thanks to your suggestion.

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  35. you don't deserve that any longer, so going forward the only acknowledgment you will get is mockery.

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  36. Man this Joe Gomez meme.

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  37. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Hs5S5HniGlo
    Dammit. Sorry about that.

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  38. Nothing says "I don't give a fuck" like reigniting a conversation I considered to be settled like 3 hours ago.

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  39. You considered it settled and you came back anyhow? Dude...you're such a hypocrite.

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  40. I guess we can add hypocrite to the words you don't understand.

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  41. YOU: "I have always admired the way Scott ignores things"
    YOU: "You should also either learn to ignore criticism or make changes based upon it."

    YOU: Hypocrite.

    Stick to your ideals, dude. Or don't.

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  42. New Day won by cheating, so it's not like Kidd got squashed. I think the point was to make Cesaro/Kidd even more mad about New Day's dirty tactics and give New Day another reason to gloat.

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  43. This is getting worse each week. You seem like a nice enough person, but I don't think this is your forte.

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  44. No they aren't.

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  45. I'd like a parenthetical citation credit please.

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  46. The guys who do the Network can leave stuff in at their discretion if its "fun".

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  47. You aren't pissing me off. You have your right to an opinion and to voice it. It's just the opinion I don't agree with. Also the excess verbosity. This isn't war and pace

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  48. On the nose and under the nose at the same time.

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  49. I guess we can add hypocrite to the words you don't understand.

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  50. Nothing I can do about "excess verbosity" with a three hour program with about 4 talking segments and 10 matches. Sorry you don't agree.

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  51. Exodus was Mr. Perfect's theme.

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  52. Jake helped the younger guys by DOING ALL THE DRUGS. There just wasn't much left to go around for everyone else when he was finished in each town.

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  53. People wonder why Scott Steiner stayed over for so long- between giving Scott Norton the frankensteiner a couple of weeks ago, and the backdrop suplex on Giant here, the dude was the most fun heavyweight wrestler to watch in the company for quite a while.

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  54. After having virtually no original programming at all for the past few months. And I noticed NXT got royally snubbed in those promos.

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  55. You could find way more risque stuff on any given episode of The Americans and that's on basic cable so yeah "Too Hot For TV" is a major contradiction.

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  56. Adam "Colorado" CurryApril 28, 2015 at 12:58 PM

    I believe him and Vince buried the hatchet when Jeff's first wife died. Pretty sure HHH hates him though, and I wouldn't expect someone trying to start a rival promotion get mentioned on TV at all.

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  57. Question is what is worse: A jobber who is just a jobber or a jobber with a bad gimmick?

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  58. Do I really have to dumb it down for you?

    Ok. You're telling me (and others, by proxy) not to argue with you in the comments and that we should just rise above you and "ignore you" because what you're dishing out is "constructive criticism".

    But the moment anyone calls out your bullshit and tells you that "being a sub-par writer" isn't constructive criticism, you lash out. When somebody comments, hours later, on a conversation you consider "settled", you come back and fight with them instead of walking away and "ignoring it".

    You invent rules and morals for others, supposedly "full of admiration" for those who rise above ugly commentary -- but don't live by the same ideals. You just keep coming back instead of WALKING AWAY.

    You're a hypocrite.

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  59. Didn't he once get arrested for trying to break into a bank because he thought it was his house?

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  60. I guess we can add hypocrite to the words you don't understand.

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  61. You have no idea what your talking about here. First no one said Marley was God.

    He was baptized in 1980 into the Ethiopian orthodox religion.

    Marley was a deeply spiritual person who believed in God and Jesus, even using bible quotes in songs and album notes. He always said he was just a man, and everything he had was a gift from God.

    Second you get judged at the Gate of Heaven, before you enter Heaven where the throne room would be, I assume.

    Also was wondering what "false religion" your referring to. If it's Rastafarian, you are moron

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  62. Ah, spam trolling now. You're just more and more pathetic. I'm done.

    Thanks for proving my point that you're just here to act like an ass.

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  63. I guess we can add hypocrite to the words you don't understand..

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  64. RoH. Other than the jackasses who couldn't resist the usual "VANILLA MIDGET FLIPPY FLOP MINOR LEAGUE!" bullshit, those reviews didn't get much commenting.

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  65. They should ditch Springer, and have Maria Menounos do a redone "Are you serious."

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  66. Something something Hot Pokers something something Porn Peddling Scum something something ECW Wannabe something something Never Missed.

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  67. It's amazing he stills got over. They didn't even job him 13 weeks straight

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  68. STOP WATCHING THESE THINGS. Thats why they think we want then. Play wccw, anf just let it run in the background, for Crist sakes.

    Not just you everyone.

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  69. You wanna see "losing your mind"? Look up and watch him spam troll because he's pissed that I'm not rattled at his threat to "mock me" from now on. Some of these guys are just babies, Mears.

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  70. Yeah, I get it. I almost didnt watch it for that reason. If it makes me a better person, I have been watching one Clash or late 90s/early 80s PPV everyday.

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  71. I find these reviews to be a pressure relief valve for those angry at how generic, boring, nonsensical, and tone-deaf WWE's product is these days. His negativity perfectly fits the hostility WWE obviously has for its fans.

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  72. The ironic thing was that I was pretty complimentary. I gave the show a good passing grade and praised the second half for lifting it up near the end.

    I don't get the hostility toward me here.

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  73. Vince rarely got anything right with his own creations. Hogan sucked a dick in his first WWF run, Gagne tapped into his awesome potential, and Vince bought it. Ringmaster sucked a dick, and Stone Cold took matters into his own hands creatively. Smilin' Rocky Maivia sucked a dick, so The Rock could tell everyone how much he hated them. Bret Hart was going to be Cowboy Bret Hart, and guys like Roddy Piper, Randy Savage, Sid, Lex Luger, and Ric Flair were already pretty much finished products by the time they got to the WWF. Undertaker was probably an idea borrowed (IIRC) from Memphis, and Kane was a fucking dentist first.

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  74. Or they could ditch Springer and upload the full episodes of the shows containing the various moments, then tell us to check them out for ourselves

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  75. I think there are a lot of people trying to convince themselves they like the product so they don't have to acknowledge how much of their lives they are wasting watching something that sucks right now. And in all fairness, wrestling is pretty awesome when it's hot and the product is good.

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  76. Seems like every time Vince backs away and lets the talent behave more or less like themselves (the difference between "gimmick" and "character"), they end up getting over. So of course, the WWE meticulously scripts every promo these days.

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  77. "And in all fairness, wrestling is pretty awesome when it's hot and the product is good."

    ^This sums up my current attitude.

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  78. It's a total homogenized effect. The bottom-barrel talkers who just aren't creative on the mic have something better to work with, but it seriously holds back guys who could be more.


    Oh and I forgot John Cena - they were ready to cut that guy because they had nothing for him until he showed off his own talent and became himself. Then, he's magically a huge star. And as much as we give Cena shit for not changing for the last several years, where the hell would WWE be without him?

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  79. AverageJoeEverymanApril 28, 2015 at 1:44 PM

    you mentioned Sid in there, they even tried to mess that up by bringing him in as smiling babyface Sid Justice. What a fucking awful name.

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  80. Yeah he is a legendary drunk

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  81. Good point. Vader was going to become Mastadon until Corny talked some sense into Vince, and Jericho, Benoit, Guererro, Booker T, and Rey already also had their characters established before coming to WWE.


    There was a repeated talking point around 2000/2001 on various WWE releases where Vince was regarded as this great creative genius who could take a guy and give him a character and make him a star. I don't buy it.

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  82. MaffewOfBotchamaniaApril 28, 2015 at 1:48 PM

    '' Finally he suckers Jake into the post while we get a bizarre bit on commentary with Jerry Lawler spoiling the plot of Mission Impossible. What was THAT about? ''

    I'd have been pissed if I'd had '96 Raw spoiled M:I for me.

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  83. I wonder if they were trying to drive a point home about WCW giving away the WWF results, and how shitty it is to spoil things for fans.


    Or Lawler is just a dick like that.

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  84. I can only assume that the M:I jab on RAW was something mandated by the USA Network since Paramount did sell their stake in the channel that same year.

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  85. I thought Sid Justice was awesome and he was mega over so not sure if that was a failure. The sudden friction with Hogan and heel turn, maybe so. Also he left way too soon to know if Sid Justice was really good or not.

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  86. haha yeah I know, and half the original content they put is are basically clip shows.

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  87. He also had great entrance music that was miles better than the usual corny generic themes of that era.

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  88. I think it mostly came from the company's ability to make chicken salad from chicken shit at the beginning of the Attitude era: none of the biggest names (Foley, Rock, Austin, HHH, Kane, Angle) was remotely a proven draw before then. (Minus Undertaker, of course.)


    At the time, nobody made the point that most of those guys got over once they'd shed their original cornball gimmicks in favor of something closer to their real selves.

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  89. Psycho Sid was miles better than Sid Justice, IMO.

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  90. That's my point: Vince is hands down the greatest PROMOTER who ever lived. He's not the best creative mind, though. Probably not even top 100.

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  91. AverageJoeEverymanApril 28, 2015 at 2:07 PM

    I said they tried to mess it up, I realize Sid was over. Sid is ALWAYS over, he just has IT. But that name and palling with Hogan was so odd. Hell the turn and if he had stayed around turning into Sycho Sid then would have been fun.

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  92. Makes you appreciate the Clique a little bit huh?

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  93. I'm surprised it didn't take Vince until 2001 to find out the ending.

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  94. But but maria

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  95. Scott didn't seem to enjoy the shows that featured Nash, Razor, and Kid either. Doesn't matter who's on the roster--bad writing and wrestling always leads to a bad show

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  96. Mason the Mutilator, Scott Hall as GI Joe, the Clique pushing for more realistic stories and characters years before he did it..

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  97. I remember having a taped copy of a random weekend show (the Canadian version of Superstars) from 1994 as a kid, in which Jerry Lawler spoils the ending to Maverick during - I think it was - a Jeff Jarrett squash match. Lawler was just a jerk.

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  98. Lawler should reprise this gimmick and spoil GoT plot developments

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  99. I love CFB, but that's kind of an apples-to-oranges comparison. His reviews don't draw this many comments. But more importantly, he's generally reviewing old content - where he and the readership already know where the storylines are leading - so there's a lot more of a established consensus as to the quality of what he's reviewing. My guess is that, 10 years from now, reviews of the current product will be just as negative as these are...just maybe with a more humorous approach, since the initial frustration of having watched this crap will have subsided.

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  100. Imagine having PAID MONEY to call the 900 number to get that list of nothings.

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  101. Someone has probably covered this on here before, but what happens if Pillman doesn't crash his Hummer?

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  102. Stonecold is awesome on commentary here.

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  103. Is there any pun/reference in the name TL Hopper? I get that he's a plumber, but am I missing something here?

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  104. 6/11/94 WWF Superstars. He ruins the movie right at the end of the Jarrett squash... What a jerk. He ruined that movie 5 years before I even saw it. I still hate him for it. In a good way.

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  105. But, why won't you tell us how you really feel?

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  106. Three times. Hogan made himself overseas and in the AWA. Austin did all the legwork himself and got over through sheer force of presence and determination. And Rock nearly didn't happen because Vince wanted him to be Roman 1.0.

    Cena might legitimately be the one Vince creation that worked... sort of.

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  107. I seem to recall reading somewhere that the TL stood for Toilet Lid

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  108. Hopper is urinal.

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  109. I feel like the whole Blood Runs Cold, Glacier, Mortis, Wrath, and The Cat angle should have been bigger than it was, but I'm not exactly sure why. I'm someone will say "because WCW" though.

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  110. Well, he's not wrong. You can't write. Your writing is so far up its own ass when it comes to criticizing the show that most of the time you can't notice when the show is good or average or bad or even on at all. You use your writing as a soapbox to preach to a choir that sings the same song everyday. Critics are at their best when they criticize, not when they masturbate the reader's ego.

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  111. "Well, he's not wrong. You can't write. Your writing is so far up its own
    ass when it comes to criticizing the show that most of the time you
    can't notice when the show is good or average or bad or even on at all."

    No, I do notice. You just don't agree.

    "You use your writing as a soapbox to preach to a choir that sings the same song everyday."

    I'm writing about wrestling, with snark, on a blog about wrestling founded by a guy who wrote about -- and criticized WITH SNARK -- the many inconsistent facets of wrestling. I'm pretty sure being on a soapbox, covering a subject people wanna read about is what I'm supposed to be doing...

    "Critics are at their best when they criticize, not when they masturbate the reader's ego."


    Who's ego am I stroking again?

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  112. I don't think you need any help with that.


    But seriously, it was a rough time outside Shawn's matches.

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  113. I'm fine with that, I just wish there were also an even-handed review that came out at the same time and just calls average average, not "this is average and I'm super pissed that it's not great."

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  114. The editing was rather disappointing. Either make TV-MA stuff or don't, but don't market something as MA and stick a 14 on it.

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  115. It's not that I'm pissed that it isn't great. It's just stale.

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  116. And I don't want my tone to be misconstrued. I am trying to simply respond here.

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  117. Benjamin LeathermanApril 28, 2015 at 3:10 PM

    The Dennis Stamp/Beyond the Mat reference in one episode was also awesome

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  118. Since they already have Road Dogg and Billy Gunn on the payroll, and X-Pac lives around Orlando and probably needs a pack of cigarettes, why not just have them host the too hot for TV show and skip paying Jerry Springer unnecessary money?

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  119. I'm not nearly as upset as I sound. When I wrote it, I KNEW it would rile people up.

    I've seen this pattern before. Hopefully, next week, people will be back to saying, "Yeah, this was a dull show," and generally agreeing with most of what I say.

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  120. ::raises hand::


    He might be the worst writer on the site.

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  121. Yes, I was counting you.

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  122. Just making sure.

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  123. blahblahblahblah5April 28, 2015 at 3:19 PM

    Finally, somebody who gets it. Thanks Perri. 'cept the tag match was easily the best match of the night, I disagree with you on that.

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  124. Add to the fact that on one cares about Springer anymore.

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  125. I don't get how anyone can really be cool or satisfied with the current product. It is literally the same cookie cutter format week after week after week, feuds that have no real bad blood, drama or intrigue, too much Kane and Big Show, no character development, it's just so homogenized, bland and stale. I thoroughly enjoyed WM31 even after the dismal buildup, and then it was immediately back to the status quo the next night on RAW. There is simply nothing captivating about WWE at the moment, besides some of the matches, which, ultimately mean nothing. If the characters are hollow and directionless, I could give a fuck about how many snowflakes the match gets. It just all means NOTHING.

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  126. The crowd in San Jose was white-hot. I was there that night. Aside from the sexist, bullshit chants, they were ALL over Lesnar when he went haywire. After he was dismissed, however, OMG...that crowd just shit all over the show. I don't know why WWE is so hell-bent on killing any heat they get.

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  127. Everybody knew James Garner was playing Pappy Maverick just because it was a Maverick movie.

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  128. I don't think the current product is good but Extreme Rules was a watchable show. I don't watch Raw because those are always dull and repetitive.

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  129. But thats what I'm saying. I'm sure there was some solid in-ring action at ER, but ultimately, whats the point? The tag title match might have very well been a ***3/4 affair but we know the division is mostly time filler with interchangeable feuds. Just plugging guys in and having good matches, that doesn't really matter to me anymore. There needs to be tangible stakes at hand, well developed feuds, not just slapped together matches, no matter how good the performance may be. Its the main thing WWE is missing...drama, intrigue, stakes, personal connections with the characters and their motivations.

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  130. Yeah, I sort of thought the same thing. One thing that stuck me is just how plastic Sable looked. It was a little creepy.

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  131. Rip Taylor was the fat, bald gay guy. Rip Torn is related to Sissy Spacik.

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  132. Well that gets into the problem that I've had with them for like 15+ years where they no longer put on a pretend sporting promotion. Wrestling makes more sense when any random pairing of two guys has the assumed "this match matters because the winner gets more money and moves up the rankings towards championships" background. But WM31 had those exact problems, I would say to the same degree, and that show was generally considered pretty good.

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  133. I loved Are you serious - but Hogan's back on the payroll - so those shows are dead.

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  134. I know it was canceled in 2012 - but sadly it won't be coming back. 21st century Cole works for TNA.

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  135. No. Puppet H just beat Mark up.

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  136. blahblahblahblah5April 28, 2015 at 3:46 PM

    You are correct. Honestly ER wasn't even that 'watchable,' by my count. It was boring as fuck aside from the tag match, which felt to me like a **** affair surrounded by the rest of the crap on that show but was probably closer to ***1/2. Sorry I don't care how many dramatic 9 counts you get, I will never be invested in Roman Reigns vs Big Show, or a Randy Orton match. Watching Orton for me is a slow death.

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  137. Because Vince McMahon's pop culture knowledge has just reached the 1990s. Get ready for the dancing baby from Ally McBeal on the Network.

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  138. I guess I personally just need a Punjabi Prison Match or Legends of Wrestling type show in order to cross over into "flaming dog shit" territory. On just in-ring action alone, I'd say ER2015 lands somewhere around the center of all-time wrestling PPVs, and I find more than half of all-time wrestling PPVs decently entertaining.

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  139. I think it because it was Wrestlemania and the matches actually exceeded expectations for me, which helped quite a bit. But as awesome as I thought it was, have no desire to go re-watch or anything. Well, I couldn't if I wanted to, I cancelled my Network sub after the Rumble.

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  140. I remember thinking that at the time, sort of -- I always preferred Sunny.


    But the clips last night were rather pleasing to me, I have to admit.

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  141. We did get a "Russian Chain Match". That was really stupid. You know what it is for me? I've never liked "Extreme Rules". It was cool when WWE didn't give a shit and dudes could take chair shots to the head but it's hard to be "Extreme" when the company's preventing anyone from getting hurt. Mind you, I don't want people getting hurt, but I wish that we'd have brought back Elimination Chamber to replace this show.

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  142. Not to be cynical, but Pillman reminds me of Maryland-era Len Bias. "What would happen if Bias doesn't OD after the draft?" My answer has always been that he ODs later on or gets a lifetime ban.


    Pillman was already banged up pretty badly, granting that the car wreck was absolutely brutal. I suspect he goes at some point before the millennium is out.

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  143. Stop making all that damn sense!!!

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  144. Keep doing what you are doing.
    I dont read your shit, but dont let anyone deter you from your passion.

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  145. Thanks, Fuj. I'll keep goin'. The people upvoting my hypothetical resignation above you are really two people: John Edwards and three Fake Dougie accounts. That's about consistent.

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  146. See also: Every current-day Monday.

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  147. Are you saying we're going to have a Who Shot Mr. Kane cliffhanger at Payback?

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  148. Kyle didnt.people still hate him for posting pics of abeyance even though Scott said he didnt do it. He even changed his name. And that didnt help.

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  149. Still a huge fan, but you didnt answer my questions.

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  150. Look man, Not everybody gonna like your shit.


    I'm not sure I like it, but who the fuck am I to shit on you?
    Fuck 'em.


    One day you will decide that enough is enough, have a meltdown of sorts and step down, but let that be your decision.


    or Scott firing your ass.

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  151. John, go make a friend somewhere. In all the years ive read forums I cant think of someone more universally hated than you. I know forums dont even really count in the real world. So it doesnt even matter.It's just sad that someone actively goes out their way to accomplish that.

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  152. ...has already jumped the John Tenta.

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  153. Adam "Colorado" CurryApril 28, 2015 at 5:36 PM

    Wrong Kyle. You're thinking of Kyle Fitta, Kyle Warne is the guy from southern Ontario that uses the frog from StarFox as his avatar, and is one of the co BoD 6-man champs with me and cabspaintedyellow. Fitta is the guy that allegedly did the Abeyance shit.

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  154. No he doesn't, he beat his father on Monday Night Raw.

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  155. God these 4 week taping cycles were brutal. I remember just waiting for the next live show, then 3 weeks of nitro, repeat.

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  156. I thought the Austin/Savio match was an important match for Austin and a guy to finally take seriously as before Austin struggled to beat the guy and now he's treating Vega like the jobber he is.

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  157. Oh, I know. It's not that I mind people who hate me or what I write. I've just responded with "cool, bro" and moved on. I know I can write. The majority of readers who read my shit seem to think I have some sort of "something" or some wit. I'm not really torn up when they say shit like that.

    I didn't like Extreme Rules. I made it clear. I wasn't melting down
    because that's really just a hyperbolic way to dismiss somebody. They
    just didn't like my blunt honesty.

    I'm used to this by now and it's a pattern. I do a review. Most people like it. Fake Dougie and John Edwards log on, tell me they hate me. I say "thanks" and we go to next week when I say ONE THING that pisses them off and, suddenly, I suck and shouldn't be writing Nutritional Facts on a soda can.

    Some of these guys, though...I dunno. Like Parallax, who isn't getting any on a regular basis and has held some sort of private grudge for weeks and, goddammit, today is the day he lets loose, disguising his unfortunate hatred as "constructive criticism", spending an stunningly inordinate amount of time spewing bile at me and telling me that I'm the worst writer ever and even daring me to argue with him -- so I indulge him and he calls me names and can't "walk away" like he suggests I do and he keeps coming back because he needs to get his angry little inner troll off.

    These, it seems, are some of the weird folk I entertain here.

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  158. It's a recap of a three hour program. It shouldn't take that long to read it.

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  159. Lol okay caliber. I couldn't care less if you wrote for six "blogs". Here, let me spend ten seconds upending up two more blogs for you to post on dude!

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  160. MaffewOfBotchamaniaApril 28, 2015 at 6:14 PM

    Well fuck, I watch Raw because I like some of the wrestlers and stories. Not all of them, but enough to keep me watching.

    Perri summarised a lot of stuff that was clearly wrong with ER (Bellas are good now, chain match sucked) but then has a go at stuff that isn't THAT bad (''And, by the way, anyone care to explain how the car returned without so much as a scratch on it?'' and ''Oh, and those guys who used to be tag champs, who were far more talented and who everyone loved? Fuck them, too. NEEEEW DAY for some reason.'') which reads as he's either missing the point or looking for things to shit on.

    Just my opinion. I in no way hate Perri or his reviews (which is a crazy thought) but maybe throw in some of your views on WHY something is bad rather than going ''oh God why is R-Truth winning in 2015'' so it sounds like you're being forcibly buggered for three hours.

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  161. I guess watching 3 hours of RAW each week makes you hate WWE? I miss Andy PG :(

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  162. You're late. Welcome to to the party. Gin is still cold, though. Want a drink?

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  163. What's the last sentence in your latest instance of mind numbing drivel mean? Something about "spending ten seconds upendiing up two more blogs for me to post"?

    Pause PornHub and explain, simpleton. Your grammar is terrible.

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  164. Lol man I can't really blame you for anything but drinking gin. If I watched Raw every week I might feel the same way

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  165. So...it's taking you three hours to read about six pages? I don't think the length of the article is the problem, bro...just sayin'...

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  166. Matt, keep up the good work, seriously.

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  167. Y'know...she's already taken off all her clothes. Multiple times.

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  168. Matt, I have no idea why everybody jumped down your throat this week, but keep up the recaps.

    The main point I picked up was that 90% of the principals fighting, don't watch Raw.

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  169. I rustled some jimmies this week. Basicaly, they all thought Extreme Rules was incredible by virtue of simply being safe. Either that or they really liked Naomi's glowing moon shoes. :)

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  170. Sadly, the shoes were the best part of that match.

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  171. It was mediocre, but not atrocious. But I'll disagree civilly. Our opinions may disagree, but I read every week. Keep up the good work pal.

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  172. No, you know, I was probably too harsh in the overall assessment ("flaming dogshit"). Mainly, I thought the show was another lackluster event from WWE. And, it's cool to disagree. I'm all for that. It's the nuts like Parallax who don't know when to quit. :)

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  173. That's a weird example. Most accounts have Bias OD'ing on the first night he ever did cocaine (dubious, but still...he wasn't known as a habitual drug user). There are plenty of other ABA/NBA stars from the late 70s/early 80s whose careers were derailed from chronic drug abuse. Michael Ray Richardson, etc...

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  174. To be fair, I'm not sure anybody can pinpoint their exact point of contention with Truth, though his loss to Barrett means we're gonna be infested with spiders.

    Maffew, thanks for your feedback. I try to explain myself. I'll do better. And, again, I'm a huge fan.

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  175. Extreme Rules was a solid B-show. You used hyperbole in a failed attempt to make a point and some of your complaints came off as rather markish

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  176. If you think people don't like your reviews because you don't like the show, you're kind of missing the point

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  177. Because Lesnar is under a contract that ties their hands? What are they supposed to do?

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  178. AnInternetToughGuyApril 28, 2015 at 8:23 PM

    It was Maggie.

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  179. Lol blogs. Is the New York Times on line 1?

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  180. Because you're our cool stoner friend.


    And Kyle is just the wrestling nerds of wrestling nerds.

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  181. Haha, I remember that! I laughed and told my mom about it, and she was actually pissed because she wanted to see it!

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  182. Come on, Meekin totally wins that award.

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  183. Look, I've had my fill for today.

    I don't care what "the point" is or what it's supposed to be. If you don't like what I write, don't read it.

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  184. As I said in the other thread, you're really poor at taking criticism.


    These reviews are just three hours of attempts to get yourself over via snark. Oh, crap, I like something, better move on to the next segment, so I can get more snark in there.


    Extreme Rules was a whatever B show? Oh I know, I'll call it flaming dogshit

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  185. Yup. You said that already. And you're just giving me skeletons of former conversations. Anything else?

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  186. Run out of snark? Too much for 24 hours

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  187. I've seen people do this better than you today. And, frankly, I've had a lot more people praising me today than begging me to quit.

    I'll be here next week. Come back and read it again, hater. You know you can't stay away. :D

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  188. I look forward to your continual misunderstanding of the finer points of wrestling.


    The team they are trying to get over as heels cheated to win a match? The hell you say!

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  189. I look forward to your continued readership! Thanks for hating! It just generates more clicks and popularity! :D

    ReplyDelete
  190. More blogs for everyone!

    ReplyDelete

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