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The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro–06.10.96

The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 06.10.96

Uh oh, content warning. Must be a Benoit episode.

HOUR #1!

Live from somewhere. But our main event tonight is the Horsemen v. Joe Gomez & Renegade, so that’s pretty exciting. Apparently it’s Wheeling, WV.

Your hosts are Tony Schiavone & Larry Zbyszko

Booker T v. Scott Steiner

A little less than five years later, and these two would be closing out the history of WCW as World and US champion. No wonder WCW died, they gave away the last ever World title match on a free Nitro five years beforehand! They fight over a backslide and counter each others’ suplexes, but Scott hits him with the butterfly powerbomb. They fight to the floor and HOLY COW who is the hot blonde sitting at the table with Tony and Larry? Back in, Booker with the ax kick for two and he goes up with a nice crossbody for two. Scott reverses a suplex into a Slop Drop and they slug it out, but Booker runs into a boot. Scott with the belly to belly , but Booker dodges the frankensteiner and puts him down with a sidekick for two. Booker goes up and misses a flying splash, and Scott hits him with an overhead suplex for the pin at 5:55. Anticlimactic finish, but a really good TV match, with all action! *** Not as good as Gomez & Renegade v. The Horsemen will be, but pretty good.

Debra McMichael interrupts Scott Steiner’s post-match promo because she’s so upset about Steve. He might go crazy and hurt someone! As long as neither Joe Gomez nor Renegade get hurt before our main event tonight, I’m fine.

Diamond Dallas Page v. Jim Powers

It’s the Nitro debut of Powers, where clearly they have no steroid testing. He looks an overinflated parade balloon for pete’s sake. Powers gets a pair of rollups and Page takes him down by the hair and stomps away. Gutwrench powerbomb gets two and Page chokes away, but Powers makes the comeback with the dropkick for two. Page finishes this goof with the Diamond Cutter at 4:00. DDP is now fully slimmed down and sporting the look that would make him a star later in the year. Almost as big of a star as Joe Gomez.

Meanwhile, Konnan is ready to face the “legendary” El Gato, who is well known all over South America. No part of the continent in particular, of course. Maybe it’s like these Nitro shows where they don’t announce the country that El Gato comes from unless it’s over a certain population? They really had no idea what to do with Konnan at this point, did they? You know who they did have clear plans for, at least? Joe Gomez and the Renegade.

Sting v. Meng

Meng fires away in the corner, but Sting comes back and then misses a dropkick. Meng continues beating him down, but Sting slugs back and bulldogs him. Meng sneaks in with a small package for two, but Sting rolls him up for two. Meng goes up and Sting brings him down and hooks the Scorpion Deathlock (sort of) for the submission at 3:00. This was pretty shitty. DUD Hopefully Joe Gomez and Renegade can save this show.

Meanwhile, Debra tracks down Bobby Heenan, trying to stop the match before Sunday. Heenan slams the door on Okerlund, and Debra runs out of the dressing room screaming. Flair and Arn are apparently so fired up that they beat up Joe Gomez and Renegade right there in the hallway, thus robbing us of our advertised main event tonight! FUCK YOU, HORSEMEN! DAMN YOU TO HELL ON BEHALF OF JOE GOMEZ AND THE RENEGADE!

Hacksaw Jim Duggan v. David Taylor

Apparently our new main event will be Flair and Anderson now challenging for the tag titles against Sting and Luger. That’s still a pretty big step down from Joe Gomez and Renegade. IT WAS SUPPOSED TO BE GOMEZ’S NITRO DEBUT! Duggan hits the three-point stance for two while I’m mourning the loss of the main event, and finishes with the taped fist at 2:20. This gets one-half Joe Gomez out of five.

Meanwhile, we get a video package for Dean Malenko’s upcoming title defense against some midget from Mexico. Ron Mysterian or something. This video apparently takes place two weeks ago on Nitro according to the random graphic overlay.

Meanwhile, Big Bubba feels like John Tenta might actually be a fish…a BEACHED WHALE. Well, that’s a mammal, but I appreciate the effort.

Scott Norton gets promo time. Just accept it.

HOUR #2!

Your hosts are Eric Bischoff & Bobby Heenan

WCW World title: The Giant v. Scott Norton

At least the booking of Norton last week makes a bit of sense now. Norton attacks Giant in the corner and gets nowhere, bumping to the floor off a shoulderblock. Giant follows him out, chokeslams him on the floor, and pins him to retain at 1:40. OK, that booking makes less sense again. DUD Lex Luger runs out to make the save and he gets his ass kicked as well, but comes back by using Flair’s VIP bucket as a weapon. This makes Giant very angry, but not angry enough to chase after Luger while he cuts a promo at the announce desk.

Lord Steven Regal v. Billy Kidman

And now we get Kidman’s debut as the babiest babyface who ever babyfaced. Regal destroys him after surviving a flurry of offense and a missed 450, quickly finishing with a Liontamer at 1:00 while STEPPING ON HIS HEAD. Sting makes the save with a vicious backhand in retribution for last week, and Regal’s besmirched reaction is the greatest thing ever. What a magnificent human being.

The Nasty Boys v. The Public Enemy

Same goofy brawl they always have. Except with no weapons and the announcers completely ignoring the match and talking about the Bash main event. We take a break and I scour the Observer for interesting stuff because there’s nothing in the match to talk about. Oh, here’s something from this week in history:

I think they are going to keep the identity of the third member of the Nash & Hall team a secret until the 7/7 show. There are things that lead me to believe it may not be Lex Luger after all, which is a mistake. Rumors are flying it'll be Jeff Jarrett since Vince McMahon on the WWF hotline brought up Jarrett's name with Diesel and Ramon as expecting him to join WCW. Jarrett gave notice to Titan and is working out his notice in USWA and he is WCW bound, however his WWF contract doesn't expire until the fall so it probably won't be him. The WCW team will be Sting & Savage and either Flair or Luger.

Holy god can you imagine a world where Jeff Jarrett was the mysterious third man? They would have been out of business by January! Anyway, we take a break and return with another Glacier promo and more stuff happening. We’re at, what, three months now for those Blood Runs Cold promos with nothing evident? All the split-screen cameras in the world can’t make this match not suck. Finally someone throws in a garbage can and the ref calls for the DQ at 11:00. I was literally paying no attention to this match, but DUD seems fair.

Hulk Hogan still has the red white and blue running through his veins! Although Hogan’s legal team would like to stress that it’s only running through his veins for medical reasons, and it was legal in the states where it was running through his veins at the time, and was only obtained with a legal prescription for the red white and blue.

WCW World tag titles: Sting & Lex Luger v. Ric Flair & Arn Anderson

Bischoff apologizes for not delivering the debut of Joe Gomez here. Leave the memories alone, Eric. Just stop saying words! Flair throws chops on Luger and gets nowhere, as Luger clotheslines everyone. Flair bails and then gets dominated by Luger again. Flair getting repeatedly press-slammed and beat up is just great no matter when. Over to Arn and he fails to outsmart Sting and gets bulldogged. Sting joins the press-slam party on Flair, who retreats to his VIP table to regroup. And Giant already ate all the fancy cheeses! Flair asks for a timeout, so we take a break and return with Sting in control of AA again. Arn gets pinballed for two, but Sting misses the Stinger splash on Flair. Flair stupidly goes up and gets slammed, and Sting gets a flying clothesline for two. Superplex gets two. Arn comes back with a spinebuster for two to take over, and the Horsemen go to work. Flair can’t get a suplex because his back is injured, so Arn cheats on his behalf and keeps Sting in the corner. Flair’s figure-four is reversed for two and we take another break as Heenan desperately wants to go to ringside and manage. Back with Flair chopping the shit out of Sting, but he comes back with a sunset flip for two. They do the pinfall reversal sequence, but Flair tags out on the backslide and Arn puts Sting down again. Arn misses a pump splash and it’s HOT tag Luger, who just no-sells everything and goes to town. Powerslam on Flair gets two. He puts both Horsemen on the floor with a clothesline, but Giant heads into the ring for the DQ at 17:37. Great match, as you’d expect. ***1/2 The babyfaces go crazy and attack him with chairs, but Giant no-sells all of it and casually walks away. He promises Mean Gene that Luger goes out on a stretcher on Sunday.

Eric Bischoff goes to wrap things up with a fired-up Heenan…but Scott Hall returns to cause more trouble. Bobby running off in terror is such a great reaction. Bischoff wants to know where the big surprise is hiding…and here’s Kevin Nash to remind us what the adjective in “Where the big boys play” is. LOOK AT THE ADJECTIVE. Nash wonders if they could actually get three of their fossils cleared long enough to work a match between Slim Jim commercials and crappy TV shoots. So this Sunday, if the Outsiders want to show up at the PPV, Bischoff will bring them their match. Oh man, this was AWESOME. And also the Bash PPV was one of the greatest of all time, so there’s that.

The Pulse

Yeah, I’m gonna redo the Great American Bash 96 this week, don’t worry. Definitely the best of the two-hour Nitros thus far, a really entertaining show aside from the bad spot with the Nasties and Public Enemy. I just hope Joe Gomez can weather this setback in his career and become the main eventer that we all know he can.

Comments

  1. I have a feeling that even if Benoit and his wife and children were alive that the Sullivan Falls Count Anywhere match doesn't get anywhere near ***** again. Some fun spots like the women's bathroom thing but I can't see it being anything close to a perfect match.

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  2. But it may have cost us Joe Gomez. Was it really worth it?

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  3. Everyone at works thinks Im weirder than usual because of me laughing about Joe Gomez. This was an unexpected treat today.

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  4. FACT - Joe Gomez once held the NWA Florida Tag Team Championship - with Mike Graham.

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  5. FACT - Joe Gomez once held the ASW Tag Team Championship - with TATANKA.

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  6. Not without Joe Gomez, anyway.

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  7. Ok i found 2 awesome things on his wikipedia page:

    1) His ring names were "Desperado" Joe Gomez, Bobby Bold Eagle and Allen Iron Eagle



    2) His signature moves were the Crossbody and the Inside Cradle


    How did he not get a huge push?!?!?!?

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  8. I'll bet Vince McMahon said "Goddammit!" a lot when he saw the end of this episode of Nitro.

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  9. We all did when we were cheated out of a Joe Gomez match.

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  10. He actually has a pinfall victory over the legendary MR JL!!!!!

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  11. kbwrestlingreviewsApril 21, 2015 at 12:14 PM

    If Joe Gomez had been Hall's surprise, he would have known that play is a verb.

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  12. I'm laughing WAY too hard at this.

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  13. he and The Renegade would also appear on WCW Saturday Night where they lost to Jim Powers and Bobby Walker on January 11, 1997.



    How did Meltzer miss this in his listing of 5 star matches?!?!?!?!

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  14. HARD WORK BOBBY WALKER!!!!!

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  15. He was just skimming results looking for Joe Gomez' name.

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  16. GET THIS MAN A SHRINE!! NOW!!!!!!

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  17. Chicken shit Jarrett with Nash and Hall as his back up is a pretty good stable/angle idea.

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  18. I feel like the Renegade could have been more successful if he had, I don't know, actually seemed to have watched an Ultimate Warrior match, so that he could rip him off more accurately. The way he stomped around the ring instead of running made him look more like a Simple Jack Warrior than an Ultimate one.

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  19. No Global Force Wrestling spoilers please.

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  20. I really didn't think id be spending my day looking up Joe Gomez matches on youtube...

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  21. Never really thought about it, but having Savage take the Hogan legdrop at BATB instead of Sting nicely setup the year long booked Hogan/Savage match in the most transparent way possible.

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  22. Why the content warning if there was no Benoit? Was it because of the bait and switch with Gomez and the Renegade?!

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  23. Joe Gomez has nothing on Bill Brasky.

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  24. Ok, since we were CHEATED out of a Joe Gomez match, here's one featuring Gomez in action against Dennis Knight. It may look like my grade school gym, but I can only assume (because Joe Gomez is featured) that it is a super-exclusive underground wrestling club where the elite gather to watch top talent. And Dennis Knight.

    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EaOfytOXlNc

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  25. I believe this was for the newly resurrected Western States Heritage Championship.

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  26. I hope that Renegade and Gomez don't turn on each other at some point. I don't think Scott's heart could take that breakup.


    The Megajobbers explode!

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  27. Wasn't nWo 2000 that way with Jarrett as the leader?

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  28. Couldn't be. Jarrett was a HUGE draw and generated a ton of interest. The nWo never would have failed with HIM in it. That would be like saying Jarrett was Horsemen and that didn't work out, either.

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  29. I honestly don't think there's any rhyme or reason to those silly warnings. I've seen them pop up in non-Benoit shows and they've been absent in Benoit material.

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  30. RUMOR KILLER: Joe Gomez and Jungle Jim Steele are not the same person.

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  31. Been 'watching' the 2 hours of Scott Steiner stories youtube. That guy may have some issues.

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  32. Bret was supposed to be the leader but his head was too soft.

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  33. Mike Graham invented gifs.

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  34. Hogan... Gomez... World Title... Starrcade '97

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  35. Maybe the main event was supposed to feature Renegade and Benoit, but they used "Joe Gomez" like the board uses "Stevie Richards" to avoid referring to him by name.

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  36. A world where Jeff Jarrett is the payoff? Yeah, TNA.

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  37. The bigger the softer.

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  38. And the sky may also be blue tomorrow, too.

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  39. That is time well invested.

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  40. Weep not for what was, but for what could have been.

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  41. Maleficent invented Mike Graham.

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  42. Soft heads squeeze tears out of the eyes easier.

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  43. Did anything not PG happen?

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  44. When I was watching this, I gave a hearty LOL to them announcing it would have been Joe Gomez's debut. I almost email Scott about it - has any wrestler ever had a worse debut? I mean, at least Kidman got in the ring to get squashed. Gomez got destroyed in a hallway backstage.


    Other thought - is going from Gomez/Renegade to Sting/Luger the best bait & switch of all time?

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  45. Totally disagree. Maybe not the full monty, but an easy 4 stars. I don't think a match should be punished for being the blueprint that a million other matches followed. Being first should count for something. And I marked out like crazy the first time I watched it -- the finish was a damn superplex off of a table. That didn't happen in 1996. And the post-match was the Horsemen starting to reform!!

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  46. Theberzerker, #1 HUSS CHOMPIONApril 21, 2015 at 2:19 PM

    If I may say a few words on this...


    ....


    ...JOE GOMEZ!

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  47. The "this must be a joke" matches were actually one of my favorite parts of Nitro. e.g. "tonight we're having Hacksaw Jim Duggan vs. La Parka!...maybe not". You tune in just to see WTF was going to happen either way.

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  48. Chairshots to the head? I think they put them up way more than they need to in order to be safe for kidz.

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  49. Man Nitro was so much better than Raw at this point it wasn't even funny. Even without the nWo angle.

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  50. eh, ripoffs in wrestling never work. Even if he was OK at ripping off Warrior, it was just never going to happen.

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  51. This rant was fantastic.

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  52. Darth Dr. Facts VaderApril 21, 2015 at 2:55 PM

    No. Not for Joe Gomez.

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  53. AverageJoeEverymanApril 21, 2015 at 2:56 PM

    What they Bubba vs Shark feud really needed was Bubba going down to the ocean-side and using a chain to drag a dead shark out of the water and driving around with it while Tenta jumps on it crying his eyes out. Then later on Bubba writes a heartfelt poem about it and then feeds the dead shark to Al Snow.

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  54. Lucky for Steve Austin that Joe Gomez wasn't signed by Vince, because you know that Joe would have been the man to lead them blazing into the Attitude era. But only after Bret would have demanded to work a long program with Gomez, to help make him an even bigger star. With tears in his eyes, of course.

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  55. "Totally agree." - obviously you don't. because Jared Bellow was literally talking about it being a ***** / "perfect" match.

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  56. CruelConnectionNumber2April 21, 2015 at 2:57 PM

    I was hoping Scott would break out the "El Gato, which is Spanish for Pat Tanaka" olde-time laugh.

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  57. AverageJoeEverymanApril 21, 2015 at 3:01 PM

    Simple Jack Warrior matches made my eyes rain

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  58. CruelConnectionNumber2April 21, 2015 at 3:01 PM

    Joe Gomez was in WCW back in 1990 as Allen Iron Eagle and was the greenest wrestler ever. Picture Maven's early WWF career.

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  59. Jarrett would have fit better in the early nWo. Maybe not the leader, but Hogan's involvenent kind of killed it due to Jarrett hating Hogan. Because seriously, Double J as a early nWo heel would have been cool.

    I would have also marked out seeing Lex Luger in American flag trunks turning heel. The WWF couldn't sue a guy for American flag trunks.

    Imagine a nWo in 1996 with Hall, Nash, Luger, Hogan Syxx, Jeff Jarrett, Virgil, and Ted Dibiase as the money man going up against Giant, Sting, Flair, Anderson, Mongo, and Krispen Wah.

    Heck Tenta and Bubba should have defected as former WWF guys to the nWo as well. I mean Tony could have called him The Hoss, and man is he big. Tenta could be called the Landslide. Dang Bischoff.

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  60. I thought the Outsiders first PPV appearance was on a show before Bash at the Beach? When Nash powerbombs Bischoff off the entrance ramp?

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  61. He was to the inside cradle what Okada is to the dropkick.

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  62. He was to the inside cradle what Okada is to the dropkick

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  63. No, but it was an appearance. And it has yet to happen in Scott's review timeline.

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  64. Harlan Leverage IIIApril 21, 2015 at 3:20 PM

    To hell with Joe Gomez -- who was the hot blonde?

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  65. Because it hasn't happened yet.

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  66. Harlan Leverage IIIApril 21, 2015 at 3:21 PM

    Sorry, I got carried away. Please forgive me -- wrestling has had a ton of hot blondes, but only one Joe Gomez.

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  67. It happed at the Great American Bash - Scott will review it soon.

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  68. Joe Gomez should have been the third man.

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  69. Better than what we got from that feud.

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  70. AverageJoeEverymanApril 21, 2015 at 3:36 PM

    Early 90's Hogan Feuds EXPLODE!!!!

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  71. The content warning has to be for the head shots in the garbage brawl, right?

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  72. June '96 - Great American Bash PPV
    July '96 - Bash at the Beach PPV

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  73. Wasn't that the Kings of Wrestling in TNA?

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  74. Whatever happened to that Krispen Wah? I thought he would amount to something good, with such a kick-ass name.

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  75. Dusty had some fun with that name too.

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  76. I would watch that. Whether it's for Gomez or Debra, I'll leave to you to decide.

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  77. *Shiftily eyes Harlan while whispering to other Cabal members.*

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  78. Scott got pretty excited for a woman sitting down who's face you don't get to see... then again... I just fired up the Network to check out said blonde.

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  79. Not mentioned is Scott Steiner bowing out like a very respectful man, because obviously Debra is very concerned.


    Scott Steiner.

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  80. Dude, stop it. Jeff Jarrett would not have fit into anything that was trying to generate heat, fan reaction, people giving a shit about it, etc

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  81. CRACKER BARREL


    IMA DRIVE DOWN THIS WONWAYWOARD!

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  82. It's Tuesday, so that's what I normally do anyway

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  83. Demolition?

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  84. He had a shot at something big, but choked. Too bad.

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  85. Didn't Joe Gomez have the music the Horsemen ended up with?

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  86. El Gato
    El Gato
    El Gato no es bueno.

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  87. AnInternetToughGuyApril 21, 2015 at 5:17 PM

    I love that story, lol

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  88. Fun WCW fact: they had no idea who El Gato was going to be. They just booked the match and then figured they'd get either Tanaka or someone else his size to play the role. But not an actual luchador, of course.

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  89. "You know how long its been since I've been in an accident? "

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  90. I can't even begin to fathom Jeff Jarrett as the 3rd man. The angle would have ended almost immediately.

    I'm assuming it would have at least been 2000'ish "slapnuts" Jarrett and not hillbilly in suspenders Jarrett. Holy Christ what a monumental disaster that would have been. Just imagine Jarrett strutting down the aisle in Hogan's place. That would make Shockmaster's debut look like Triple H's MSG return by comparison.

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  91. He didn't have a guh-guh-guh good gimmick.

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  92. Wikipedia lists Joe Gomez's signature moves as a crossbody, and an inside cradle. And they called Kanyon the innovator of offense.

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  93. Yea... but WHO'S SIDE IS IRON EAGLE ON?

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  94. I enjoyed the Sting/Regal mini feud from this time. The match was good too.

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  95. Belee_Matt!_INDEED!!!April 21, 2015 at 8:45 PM

    You can tell Scott's heart was in this rant. Best one in awhile.

    Thanks, Joe Gomez! You've done it again!

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  96. I was about to post how, similar to the Undertaker, it's hard to see Debra as someone who was ever under 37 years old... then looked up to realize she was pushing 37 around this time.

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  97. Scott was ON FIRE HERE. EL CALENTE! Like I'm sure El Gato was at the Great American Bash.


    Also, it always bothered me that Nash said, "This is where the big boys play, huh? Look at the ADJECTIVE, 'play'." ADJECTIVE IS A FUCKING VERB.

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  98. The thing about anyone over than Hogan being the third man would have meant that Hogan would have rode in on his white horse (eventually) to save WCW from the nWo.

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  99. Yeah, usually the matches get worse, not better. Although swtiching Gomez/Renegade to literally anything else.

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  100. Did they ever try to bill Meng as Meng The Merciless? That would have been gold.

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  101. Fascinated by the "logic" of the main event on this show. The Horsemen are scheduled against a couple of jobbers in the main event. Then they beat up said jobbers and are rewarded with a tag title shot instead, with one of their opponents (Sting) having already wrestled a match.

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  102. Okay, so everyone can agree Jeff Jarrett would have flopped as the third man. Would Davey Boy Smith have been any better? (SK's RAW rant this week references him giving notice and that being a possibility.)

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  103. Is Mongo the most prominent wrestler whose wife went on to work for another major organization where he never worked?

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  104. How dare you refer to JOE GOMEZ as a jobber.

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  105. You can pick Joe Gomez's music in the new WWE 2K game, its called "Alt Rock #7"

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  106. See this guy....he gets it.

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  107. WHO ARE YOU TO DOUBT JOE GOMEZ!!!!!

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  108. Cilantro es cantante

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  109. Mongo worked for WWF in 95 as part of LT's team in the build to wrestlemania xi.

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  110. Anyone other then Hogan would have flopped because if hogan isn't leading the nWo then he's the white knight that saves WCW.

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  111. You know who could have helped Renegade and Joe Gomez fight off the Horsemen?

    "CONAN" CHRIS WALKER!

    WCW definitely dropped the ball by not signing him, he could have fought off the entire nWo by himself!

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  112. Fun Fact: El Gato was originally the name of Pampero Firpo's finisher.

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  113. The Benoit warning pops up in Wrestle War '89 which I really don't get since the only offensive thing on that show (the Oak Ridge Boys concert) was cut out of the show.

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  114. Um, Hulk Hogan? Jerry Lawler?

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  115. Inside Cradle - Finisher of Champions, as proven by Joe Gomez and every WWE Diva since 2009.

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  116. "Hard Work" Bobby Walker!

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  117. And he also invented the other WCW shows that Mike Graham didn't already invent beforehand.

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  118. It wasn't really a possibility. Davey giving notice was more of a technicality, and it started rumors about him jumping but couldn't have happened.

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  119. Definitely not on The Freebirds' side.

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  120. Guys, stop trying to make Joe Gomez happen.

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  121. Yeah, Jarrett couldn't draw flies with a mouthful of shit. Zero charisma at all. I can't even imagine- the nWo would've basically been Hall & Nash plus a buddy.

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  122. was... was she as hot as he said?

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  123. WrestleMania XIX's Main Event: Joe Gomez (vs) HHH.

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  124. He forgot to shake a veteran's hand backstage, and put on an icepack too early.

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  125. Joe Gomez and The Renegade vs. The Horseman is a main event in any arena in the country!

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    http://usatoday.com/reports/1

    •••••••••••••••••

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  127. Really? I think you are onto something there! :O

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  128. Joe Gomez as Joe Gomez is practically a main eventer compared to Joe Gomez as Allen Iron Eagle

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