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The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW–07.08.96

The SmarK Rant for Monday Night RAW – 07.08.96

Back from being away from the internet for three days! Unfortunately I don’t have time to catch up on Payback or even Nitro this morning, so we’ll go with RAW instead. I did read JTG’s book while I was away, along with a bunch of old Observers from 1988. The most interesting thing was the discussion of the Hogan-Andre match, which of course ended up being the most-watched wrestling match in history. However, that being said, what I didn’t realize was how disappointing that rating actually was. NBC put them on prime time with expectations of being a top 5 show for the week so they could use the Main Event as a backdoor pilot for a live weekly prime time show, and in fact the show ended up something like #25 for the week and was actually viewed as a failure. Dave felt like it was actually a blessing, because there’s no way WWF would ever be able to pull off a live two-hour show on a weekly basis anyway.

Taped from Green Bay, WI

Your hosts are Vince McMahon & Jerry Lawler

Gorilla Monsoon announces that Ultimate Warrior is immediately suspended for no-showing, but he’s here tonight at this show to wrestle Owen Hart. Because this show is totally not taped or anything. AWKWARD. I love how they sanctimoniously bury the Warrior for no-showing, and then make sure to cash in on his name one last time by showing his match instead of just cutting it out and using some of the other hours of shit they had taped from the past month. Like they couldn’t have subbed in something from Superstars or a King of the Ring match or something?

The Ultimate Warrior v. Owen Hart

Vince hopes we’re not seeing the Warrior for the very last time on RAW. Somehow I don’t think that feeling is accurate. Although according to the Observer at the time, Vince was still proceeding as though Warrior would in fact be posting his appearance bond and would be returning after the PPV and facing Bulldog at Summerslam. That seems uncharacteristically optimistic for Vince. As someone else noted on the blog, if the taping cycle hadn’t been so annoying, they could have booked Warrior to do a squash job to someone like Vader. Meanwhile, in an inset promo, Shawn Michaels and Ahmed Johnson promise to unveil their replacement partner in a few minutes. At least Shawn does, because I seriously had no idea what Ahmed was saying. Poor Owen bumps all over the ring for Warrior while Vince and Lawler make ridiculous speculation on who the partner will be. Warrior completely destroys Owen and gives him nothing until finally Owen hits a leg lariat…and Warrior no-sells it. Finally Owen clotheslines him with the cast a few times to turn it around and we take a break. Back with Owen choking away on the ropes and a shot with the Slammmy gets two, but Warrior makes the comeback with the usual and Bulldog runs in for the DQ at 10:44. Well, this was clearly Warrior’s best match of this run, which isn’t saying much. **1/2 Camp Cornette does a 3-on-1 beatdown afterwards to write him out of the promotion.

Meanwhile, the third man is on his way. No, not that one.

Savio Vega v. Justin Hawk Bradshaw

Brian Pillman tries to attack Savio on crutches, but gets cut off by JJ Dillon. That went nowhere. Savio pounds away in the corner and follows with a leg lariat for two. Bradshaw comes back with a bulldog for two and Vince declares it a SEE-SAW MATCHUP, his highest praise. Bradshaw uses the clobbering forearms to put Savio down for two and grabs a sleeper. Bradshaw with a big boot and elbow for two, and we hit the chinlock. To think that Bradshaw’s braying moron cowboy character would end up as a rich New York stockbroker and color commentator. Savio comes back with a splash that was supposed to miss but actually hits Bradshaw’s back, and Vince implores him to SHOOT THE HALF while Lawler makes “jokes” about debuting wrestler Who. Man, RSPW didn’t shut up about that one for about six months. Bradshaw goes back to the chinlock as this crowd-killer continues unabated. I think people in the front row are literally falling asleep. And then we get a phone interview with Mr. Perfect as we take a break. OH MY GOD JUST END THIS MATCH. Back with Bradshaw hitting a pumphandle slam for two as speculation on the third man now includes Yokozuna and Mr. Perfect. Not quite the same interest level as the PPV the night before. Savio comes back while Lawler continues his unfunny feud with Jake Roberts, and Savio finishes with a leg lariat at 14:24 off an accidental trip from Uncle Zeb. *1/2

The British Bulldog & Vader v. The Godwinns

Camp Cornette overpowers Bulldog to start, but Henry comes back with a clothesline on Vader after a missed charge, and PIG splashes him for two. Bulldog comes in and it’s a bulldog on the Bulldog, which Vince thinks is the greatest thing ever. Jim Cornette, on commentary: “How much caffeine have you had today?” Vince: “It doesn’t matter!” They had such a great dynamic on commentary together. The Godwinns double-team Vader, but HOG walks into a clothesline and the heels take over with more boring offense. I should note that Cornette and Lawler going off on Hillbilly Jim about how stupid he is works fine from a heel standpoint, because it’s not based on anything real like the Jake Roberts stuff is. With Jake it’s just constant mean-spirited harping on a real problem and doesn’t build any kind of usable heat. We take a break and return with Henry still getting beat up, but he catches Vader with a bodyslam out of the corner and it’s hot tag Phineas. Poor Cornette runs over and tries to pound the mat and get the fans going, but even the canned heat is bored. It’s BONZO GONZO and Bulldog powerslams Phineas for the pin at 14:37. Yeah. **

Meanwhile, Shawn and Ahmed are STILL promising their partner will be here. Jim Cornette promises that everyone else in the WWF is booked, so they’re BLUFFING. And in fact, Shawn reveals that his partner is Sid. Boy, did THAT one backfire on him by November.

The Pulse

Ugh, fourth week of the taping cycle still to come. Although I should note that the week after THAT is where RAW gets picked up in Canada by TSN and thus I’m able to watch it semi-live every week.

Comments

  1. THEFELINE Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 11:40 AM

    Sorry about that, seems like the trolls account are off the charts today

    ReplyDelete
  2. THEFELINE Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 11:40 AM

    No it's not

    ReplyDelete
  3. THEFELINE Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 11:41 AM

    Antoher fake Dougie troll account ... boring !

    ReplyDelete
  4. THEFELINE Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 11:45 AM

    Lol you tried to troll me (badly) then panicked and deleted the account. You are a funny dude

    ReplyDelete
  5. Sid was actually a pretty big improvement from Warrior from any point of view.

    ReplyDelete
  6. I don't really care, but that was funny

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  7. Too late. I've already docked a *. Buh-bye.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Ps : You re jelly because i married Monica

    ReplyDelete
  9. Scott's rants can't do justice to how PAINFUL these 96 RAW's were to sit through especially with Nitro putting on the Biggest Angle Ever and Eric Bischoff make sure you knew who winning.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Another really good show. The company finally has direction in its booking too, which is getting people over. They did a fine job debuting Owens. In fact, it went as well as anyone could have hoped for, IMO. Rusev is also doing some truly masterful heel work too. They are giving the Tag Division some time to shine and added intrigue in the IC Title picture as well. With Elimination Chamber just two weeks away, they are putting together a solid card. My only complaints are that the Diva's Division is still a mess and that if Lana is actually paired with Ziggler, it will be a bad move, IMO. But the story doesnt appear to be over between Lana/Rusev just yet.

    ReplyDelete
  11. "Boy, did THAT one backfire on him by November."

    Because Sid was more over than Shawn was by then? Yeah, it definitely backfired.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Stranger in the AlpsMay 19, 2015 at 12:01 PM

    It was around this time that I had my cable disconnected for non-payment, and I was relying on a friend to provide me with taped copies of the show.


    My friend never came through because he didn't want to get stuck watching this show.

    ReplyDelete
  13. The match wasn't particularly memorable but for some reason I remember exactly where I was while watching it.

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  14. >Although I should note that the week after THAT is where RAW gets picked up in Canada by TSN and thus I’m able to watch it semi-live every week.



    Huh? TSN started showing Raw in late 1994 didn't they? I definitely started watching Raw in Early 1995 but who can remember which channel it was on.

    ReplyDelete
  15. THEVIPER Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 12:07 PM

    Yeah knowing your review skills i'm not too upset

    ReplyDelete
  16. In southern ontario we had raw on another channel a few months before TSN had it. IIRC the first raw was when they were hyping the warriors return.

    ReplyDelete
  17. Why didn't Shawn and Ahmed come out and save the Warrior during that beat down? I mean it makes sense given what happened to the Warrior, but this was filmed prior to the problems. There did not appear to be any edit where they cut out a save from them, which means they booked them to be lousy partners to the Warrior.

    Plus wouldn't a Vader/Warrior match and a Owen/Bulldog vs. Godwinns match have made more sense?

    ReplyDelete
  18. THEVIPER Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 12:11 PM

    As a peace offering, here's a picture of a cookie fucking a cat-lady : https://images.luscious.net/571/lusciousnet_cookie_porn_and_homestu_1288222161.640x0.png

    ReplyDelete
  19. Close, One Warrior Nation Island.

    ReplyDelete
  20. Harlan Leverage IIIMay 19, 2015 at 12:26 PM

    Owen/Warrior was the matchup on the house show loop, which I imagine is why they went with that pairing. Plus, Warrior/Vader would have been a trainwreck.

    ReplyDelete
  21. THEFELINE Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 12:26 PM

    Matt Perri's Speical Bonus : http://33.media.tumblr.com/ceff875ba9a07b343515aac217c0745a/tumblr_nm10xqXYrC1sfrezlo1_400.gif

    ReplyDelete
  22. THEFELINE Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 12:26 PM

    Matt Perri's Speical Bonus : http://33.media.tumblr.com/f10baa8a14902d1d0471f79ef3253078/tumblr_nohyp4tSOb1u6p6ono1_500.gif

    ReplyDelete
  23. THEFELINE Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 12:27 PM

    Matt Perri's Speical Bonus : https://38.media.tumblr.com/6e0269fdacf6d224fb452f68b86fa3f7/tumblr_nhwb4rXk5l1tfbpn7o1_500.gif

    ReplyDelete
  24. THEFELINE Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 12:27 PM

    Shinsuke Nakamura

    ReplyDelete
  25. THEFELINE Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 12:28 PM

    Matt Perri's Speical Bonus : http://i.imgur.com/S0eH5Pb.gif

    ReplyDelete
  26. THEFELINE Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 12:28 PM

    Matt Perri's Speical Bonus : http://juicygif.com/albums/userpics/2014y/03/31/12/1/7036-best-porn-gif.gif (Maria Kanellis)

    ReplyDelete
  27. THEFELINE Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 12:29 PM

    Matt Perri's Speical Bonus : http://porngif.org/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/3458.gif

    ReplyDelete
  28. THEFELINE Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 12:31 PM

    Matt Perri's Speical Bonus : http://cache.bordom.net/server/?type=image&size=full&id=aHR0cDovL3d3dy5wb3JuLWJyZWFkLmNvbS9naW5nZXJicmVhZC9kb2dneV9jb2xvci5qcGc=

    ReplyDelete
  29. Except for "coked up nonsensical promo." Warrior will always be the champion of those.

    ReplyDelete
  30. THEFELINE Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 12:33 PM

    Matt Perri ? Is that you ?

    ReplyDelete
  31. THEFELINE Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 12:37 PM

    William H. Nutsack's second, and maybe last?, release for HardX is this release celebratin the MILF's we all love! This release features Phoenix Marie, Nina Elle, Bridgette B and cover girl Julia Ann. William directs some good features so I expecet some good camera work and good visuals!

    Nina Elle

    Nina is in black lingerie and does a sexy little dance. She bursts out of her bra and does a sexy little tease. Nina has a fantastic body and William captures it nicely. James Deen makes out with her and feels up that body. Nina does some self-nipple licking and James licks it as well. These two have a nice energy together and she slaps his dick against her tits. Nina gags herself on his rod and fucks him with her face. James titty fucks her and Nina deep throats him. He eats her out and enters her in mish. He also bangs her in spoon, reverse, cowgirl and doggie. James strokes off on her face and Nina cleans him off.

    Phoenix Marie

    Phoenix is in a yellow one piece and that Hall of Fame body moves all over the place! Phoenix dances around and looks fantastic. Ramon Nomar, who's now sporting a mohawk, worships her tits and slaps them around. He titty fucks her and Phoenix drools on him. She gags on his prick and drools all over him. He buries his bone down her throat and Phoenix loves every second. Phoenix rides him in reverse then gets her ass fuckedin mish, spoon, side saddle, cowgirl and doggie. She even gives him a footjob midway through the scene! He explodes all over her face and Phoenix licks it up. Fantastic scene!

    Julia Ann

    Julia? Fuck!!! She's wearing a black one piece and presses her boobs together. She is such a sexy woman! She shakes her tits and looks so damn good. She shows off her body then Manuel Ferrara is all over her. He goes down on her and sucks on her clit. He fingers her holes while she works over his dick. Julia gets her face fucked and gags all over him. He bones her in mish, spoon, reverse, doggie and cowgirl. Manuel titty fucks her and explodes all over her face and chest. Julia was excellent in this scene!

    Bridgette B

    Bridgette is wearing a black t and leggins and shows us the goods. Bridgette has a fantastic natural body and Steve Holmes has a field day playing with it. Bridgete gives him head and gags on his prick. She slides him down her throat and does a very nice job! Bridgette gets blasted in reverse then opens her ass for spoon and reverse Bridgette is very good in this scene and Steve drains his balls all over her face.

    SPECIAL FETURES

    Over 36 minutes of BTS footage, a cumshot recap and photo galleries.

    SUMMARY

    This was a good releease from William H. and HardX. Bridgette B is very good in her scene. Julia is fantastic! Phoenix is incredible and Nina is terrific. These girls are classified as MILFs but they fuck better than some girls that are 20 years younger than them! Very good release!

    ReplyDelete
  32. Sadly I'm thinking that's faker than evil Marv. You would know if Maria did bang bros.

    ReplyDelete
  33. THEFELINE Randy OrtonMay 19, 2015 at 12:43 PM

    I decided to diversify my reviews, here's two extract of my work :

    ReplyDelete
  34. Hogan's account of this night was something like, "Yeah Warrior got beat down shortly after WM because the competition was just too tough... he died not long after."

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  35. Well that SNME is what got me hooked on wrestling as well as a lot of my friends, so they made some long term money off it.

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  36. So strange that they aired that Warrior match while also at the same time it was dismissing him from the program.

    Even funnier, that an almost similar thing happened back in 1992 when the Warrior/Savage vs Money Inc. match aired on the last Saturday Night's Main Event and then at the very end of the show, Heenan teases that either Savage or Warrior have dropped from the match.

    ReplyDelete
  37. I HAVE HALF THE BRAIN YOU DO!


    Draw, Sid just didn't get as many chances.

    ReplyDelete
  38. To be fair, Sid has his own very special place in promo land.

    Sid, Steiner, and Warrior are on the podium of all time crazy promo guys.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Jim Cornette was quite the unsung hero. He was single handedly salvaging this crap.

    ReplyDelete
  40. At least they waited until after the match to run that angle in '92. Hell, they waited until the last possible second for Heenan to start saying something, making you think he could have been just trying to stir up shit.


    '96 - He's suspended indefinitely... right after this match.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Wasn't Cornette one of the bookers at the time. Which also makes him responsible for said crap.

    ReplyDelete
  42. But you are here next week

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  43. Since you mentioned him, why on Earth did WWE think putting Jim Neidhart under a hood and giving him the "Who" gimmick was a good idea? Okay, you want to do the stupid "Who's on First" gag, fine - put some indy geek under the hood. Why waste a guy like Neidhart, who at least had some degree of name value, in 1996 when they were desperate for credible name guys?

    ReplyDelete
  44. Yes, he was. Up until late 1997. He along with Bruce Pritchard, Pat Patterson and Jim Ross occasionally. However, it was all McMahon. As Cornette put it in his WWE 97 Timeline "you didn't want to go on a long line of thinking if Vince hadn't okayed first"

    ReplyDelete
  45. I thought he was just a talent scout at this time.

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  46. Adam "Colorado" CurryMay 19, 2015 at 1:46 PM

    "As someone else noted on the blog, if the taping cycle hadn’t been so annoying, they could have booked Warrior to do a squash job to someone like Vader."


    And as I noted in response, there's no way in hell Warrior would have agreed to that. I don't think he did a single job during his entire comeback run.

    ReplyDelete
  47. they had the most-watched wrestling match ever and it still was seen as a failure? wtf?!

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  48. Because they wanted to be the "new" generation and not try to have a reliance on old guys. Not that this explains Jake the Snake just that I can kind of get the logic. Horrible gimmick in any case.

    ReplyDelete
  49. Theberzerker, #1 HUSS CHOMPIONMay 19, 2015 at 1:57 PM

    Parte Ununae?

    ReplyDelete
  50. Theberzerker, #1 HUSS CHOMPIONMay 19, 2015 at 1:58 PM

    Did you SEE the ratings Murphy Brown was getting back then!? Unbelievable!

    ReplyDelete
  51. From what I understand it was a rib on Hogan, thus the yellow and red colors.

    ReplyDelete
  52. Warrior isn't exactly a legit tough guy. If you're booked against Vader and he wants to squash you, I think you let him squash you

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  53. Also, your boycott of ROH till Briscoe loses the title will soon be over if there is any justice.

    I'm legit pumped for the Best in the world main event, the build is great and both guys have been unbeatable for over a year.

    ReplyDelete
  54. The most-watched wrestling match ever still pales before almost anything on network TV. Wrestling at its most popular couldn't scratch any of the REAL most-popular shows.

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  55. I have no doubt some of it was McMahon but at the same time isn't that a convenient way to avoid being associated with shit like this? Especially for a guy that makes a career these days out of railing on others peoples booking.

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  56. Yes. In the same vein, I am sure Cornette's old school vision wasn't what Raw needed. As much as some (and myself) hate to admit it, it was Russo's input what kicked WWF/E back into life.

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  57. I remember them heavily teasing Mr. Perfect, which would have made a lot of sense after that weird King of the Ring finish where he oddly tried to do the right thing as a ref and visibly upset Cornette in the process. Too bad Perfect could have resurrected his career in the WWE; I feel like he would have had a much better run, overall, than he did in WCW.

    ReplyDelete
  58. What I don't understand is that you have Cornette and maybe other guys I'm not sure talking about how "it was all Vince we were just there" but yet that can't be the case with Russo. So why is it that Russo was able to make Vince change his thought process yet nobody else in the history of Vince has ever convinced him to do that.

    ReplyDelete
  59. According to Cornette (Yes, again) it all changed after that 1997 Raw from Germany. Although it had a great match in Owen vs. Davey but it tanked on the ratings and Vince panicked. He was getting his has kicked like never before and wanted a solution.


    Russo was already attending creative meetings and he basically sold himself to Vince as the only guy with the vision to turn things around.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Adam "Colorado" CurryMay 19, 2015 at 3:00 PM

    I think Warrior just walks out.

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  61. Hah, I just mentioned yesterday that I'd never seen Bradshaw job to Savio, and here it is.

    ReplyDelete
  62. What was the deal with all of that anyway? They seemed to legitimately be building towards Mr. Perfect returning as an in-ring competitor, then he swerves everybody, joins up with Triple H, and leaves for WCW about two weeks later. Was there truth to the rumor that Vince snitched him out to Lloyds of London and cost him his insurance policy?

    ReplyDelete

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