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Impact Wrestling - June 24, 2015

Impact Wrestling
Date: June 24, 2015
Location: Impact Zone, Orlando, Florida
Commentators: Josh Matthews, D'Angelo Dinero

Tonight is the go home show for Slammiversary, but it's also a special live(ish) episode which has been built up as a big deal. However, there's also the major show next week with the World Title showdown between champion Kurt Angle and the undefeated Ethan Carter III. It's not really clear which of these are the biggest or which is going to take a backseat to the others. Let's get to it.


Ethan Carter III and Tyrus arrive and have a great idea in mind for Kurt Angle's surprise opponent.

We recap last week with Full Metal Mayhem being announced for tonight.

Here's World Champion Kurt Angle with something to say. Carter's road to the title stops next week, so why doesn't he just bring out the mystery opponent right now. This brings out Carter and Tyrus with the former saying Angle looks like it's going to take an army of 10,000 men to drag him off his mountain. However, it's going to take one and guess who that one is going to be. Angle cuts him off and says two things are going to happen: Carter is going to tap next week and the mystery opponent is going to tap tonight.

Carter: “Tap-a-roo Kurt!” Ethan lists off all the people he's defeated and knows he can beat anyone. “Bring forth your heroes and I will sacrifice them on my altar of perfection.” Angle says no one can help Carter next week because he's tapping out next week. Carter teases coming to the ring but instead introduces the mystery opponent: MATT HARDY! Yeah that Matt Hardy. It really doesn't make it any bigger of a deal when you think about it extra.

X-Division Title: Tigre Uno vs. Low Ki vs. Grado

Tournament final so the title is vacant coming in. Low Ki slaps Grado in the face to start but Grado comes back with some snap jabs, only to get chopped back down. Tigre gets back in and is knocked down just as fast but Grado takes too much time going up top, allowing Low Ki to shove him down and hit Warrior's Way for....an elimination at 2:24. That's the first mention of this not being one fall to a finish. Tigre gets a quick two off a rollup but Ki kicks him down. Ki gets crotched on top though and a Phoenix Splash gives Tigre the title at 5:11 total.

Rating: C-. I feel sorry for the X-Division guys because they're stuck with these five minute matches and no time to ever develop anything but it's supposed to be this big deal. Tigre Uno is just another guy holding the title for a meaningless reign before the main eventers take over around Destination X time next year.

Bram takes over an interview and again calls out any former members of the roster. He leaves and someone with a big glove grabs JB's shoulder. JB: “It's time!”

Taryn Terrell yells at Marti and Jade for not taking care of Kong and Brooke last week. This Sunday, it's a 3-2 handicap match, because why have a title match when you can have a match that belongs on any given episode of TV?

We run down the Slammiversary card: James Storm vs. Magnus, Jesse Godderz vs. Robbie E., Lashley/Mr. Anderson vs. Tyrus/Ethan Carter III. That's all we have so far, plus the aforementioned handicap match.

Velvet Sky vs. Angelina Love

If Velvet wins, she's back on the roster full time. Sky takes her down to start and throws Love to the floor for a whip into the post. Back in and Angelina pulls her off the middle rope and hits Lights Out for two, setting off a lot of screaming at the referee. A Stunner plants Love for the pin out of nowhere at 5:24.

Rating: D. Yay. I mean that with full sincerity. I'm so glad that a Knockout who was nothing above average on her best day in the ring is back to take a spot and some of the spotlight away from the awesome Dollhouse act. Sky and Love stopped being interesting a few years ago when it was clear that nearly every story they were ever involved with was about the Beautiful People. Boring match here and the ending does nothing to me.

The Dirty Heels don't remember learning about tables, ladders and chairs in wrestling camp, but think the dirtier things get, the better their chances.

Another playtime is over vignette.

MVP is back and rips on internet journalists. The war with the Rising is still on. It should be noted that these backstage segments are being shot with a really bad camera, which makes everything look like it's about half a second slower than it should be.

Dirty Heels vs. Wolves

Full Metal Mayhem, meaning TLC but with pins. If the Wolves win they're champions, but if the Heels win then there's one more match. The Heels (Austin Aries/Bobby Roode) throw the weapons out before the Wolves (Eddie Edwards/Davey Richards) come to the ring. It's a brawl to start and all four get chairs, with the Wolves knocking the Heels' chairs out of their hands to send them back to the floor. Aries and Roode take a breather on the floor but are smart enough to raise a ladder to stop a double suicide dive.

We take a break and come back with the Heels in control and taking in seat in some chairs for stereo chinlocks. The Wolves fight up and bring in some weapons to clean house. They knock the Heels to the floor for three straight suicide dives before a trashcan lid shot/falcon's arrow gets two on Roode. Davey wraps a chain around his boot but gets caught in the Last Chancery, only to have Edwards make a save.

Back up and a missile dropkick/powerbomb combination puts Edwards through a table for two. The Wolves toss into a kick (with the chain over the boot) gets a very close two but Aries gets caught inside a trashcan for chair shots and a double dropkick from the top. The Wolves load up Aries, still in the trashcan, for a powerbomb but Roode low blows Eddie to put Aries on top for the pin at 18:13.

Rating: B. I don't care. That's the problem with this series: it feels like they're trying to copy the awesome three way tag team series last year but the matches really aren't all that great. They're just going through the motions and having decent matches, but there's nothing that makes me want to watch them fight five times.

Matt Hardy doesn't think much of Ethan Carter III and doesn't explain why he agreed to fight for him tonight. Carter comes up and says if Hardy wants a title shot, he needs to kiss the ring. Hardy asks what happens if Carter loses next week.

And now, here are Jeff Jarrett and Karen Jarrett of Global Force Wrestling. Jeff says he's shocked that he's here too. A week ago, he got a message from TNA management, who asked him to come back for a match. He almost hung up there because he doesn't even wrestle for his own promotion. However, they said it was his own match: the King of the Mountain match at Slammiversary.

It brought back a lot of memories for him, such as Kurt Angle jumping to TNA and Samoa Joe headbutting Angle and busting him open and a punk kid from north Georgia named AJ Styles becoming the greatest wrestler this company ever had. Or a team called Beer Money becoming the best team this company ever produced and Eric Young having more TV shows than Ryan Seacrest.

Over the last fourteen months, Jarrett has spent all his time building up Global Force Wrestling, but he started thinking about what his wife would think about all this. Karen talks about all the time and effort they've put into Global Force Wrestling, which is now their life. But then Jeff started talking about all his memories and she understood what this meant to him.

She's still not sure why they're here, but she knows this is what they need to be doing. This morning she was on the phone with Sonjay Dutt, and it became clear to her that her husband didn't leave on his terms. This Sunday, Jarrett is finishing this on his terms one last time. So yeah, after all the hype for the hours before this show, it seems that it's Jarrett coming in for one match on a nothing show and that's it for now. Some game changer.

Bram vs. Vader

Yes, that Vader, who wrestled one match for TNA back in 2003. Vader is in workout gear and runs Bram over to start before hitting his big clothesline. More power offense sets up the Vader Bomb for two and Bram hits him in the ribs with a pipe for the DQ at 3:40.

Rating: F. Considering Vader is about 58 years old, this wasn't bad. What is bad is the fact that they actually had Bram hit him with a metal pipe instead of pinning him like he should have done to a veteran like Vader. This dumb, dumb booking is so old at this point, but at least Vader looked fine.

Post match Matt Morgan comes out for the save and knocks Bram to the floor.

Sgt. Chris Melendez vs. Eric Young

This was set up a few weeks back when Young choked Melendez with his prosthetic leg. Young takes over to start as the announcers act like this is the biggest show in the history of ever. Young plants him with a DDT for two and gets the same off a neckbreaker. We hit a chinlock for a bit before Young tries to rip the leg off again. Melendez fights back, ducks his head and gets piledriven for the pin at 3:47. This was a squash.

Rating: D. The match sucked for the most part and I don't like Young, but this was the only way this booking should have gone. Young is a former World Champion and spent the last month fighting Kurt Angle. Melendez is a rookie with a handicap and no important wins to his name. There was no reason for this to be a competitive match and it wasn't in the slightest.

Back from a break with the Rising fighting the Beat Down Clan because THESE TWO TEAMS HAVE TO FIGHT FOREVER BECAUSE THERE IS NOTHING ELSE THEY CAN POSSIBLY EVER DO. Hernandez returns and helps the BDC clean house.

Match #5 in the Tag Team Title series is next week. Also next week: Taryn defends the Knockouts Title against Brooke and Awesome Kong.

Matt Hardy vs. Kurt Angle

Non-title. Hardy takes over to start as Josh (incorrectly) calls this a first time ever match. Angle slams Matt down and grabs a chinlock. A quick slugout sets up rolling Germans from Angle followed by an Angle Slam for two. With both guys down, Josh announces Aries vs. Richards for Slammiversary with the winner getting to pick the stipulations for the fifth match next week. Matt misses the moonsault and gets Germaned some more, only to come back with a Side Effect. The Twist of Fate gets two but Angle countered a second attempt into the ankle lock for the tap at 6:58.

Rating: C. This was fine. Matt was a weird choice for an opponent when Carter has his own personal bodyguard walking around but almost never having a match of his own. Still though, good enough here, even though it was just trading finishers for a few minutes until they got to the ending.

Ethan Carter III and Tyrus come out but Angle fights them off and makes Carter tap to end the show.

Overall Rating: D. This was like TNA's Greatest Hits in one night. Let's see: gimmick match that didn't need to be a gimmick match, a bunch of returns that don't mean much, a table war that no one wants to see, a legend beating a young up and comer for no logical reason and a meaningless title change.

When the big news broke about the Jarretts being back, I had hope. I wanted to believe that something was actually going to change around here because I want it to change. I want TNA to be fun again, but instead it's the same stuff we've seen forever: short term thinking with stuff like Slammiversary being treated like the least important show since.....well since their last pay per view actually.

It's so frustrating watching a company that has so many good pieces consistently screw things up. There was so much potential over the years in TNA but they've spent so much time messing up everything over the years that I can't bring myself to buy into them again. Now it seems like their time is measured in months and then....they're probably going to hang around because Dixie can talk people into letting her get on TV and then screw up another deal, all the while wasting all the talent and potential they have. The show tried, but as usual they were going in the wrong direction most of the night.

Results
Tigre Uno b. Grado and Low Ki – Phoenix splash to Low Ki
Velvet Sky b. Angelina Love – Stunner
Dirty Heels b. Wolves – Low blow to Edwards
Vader b. Bram via DQ when Bram used a pipe
Eric Young b. Chris Melendez – Piledriver
Kurt Angle b. Matt Hardy – Ankle lock


Remember to check out my website at kbwrestlingreviews.com and head over to my Amazon author page with cheap wrestling books at:

http://www.amazon.com/Thomas-Hall/e/B00E6282W6

Comments

  1. Wow, that Jarret promo was...was...

    Sorry, I feel asleep again. Seriously, my god, what a self-indulgent piece of shit segment that was. Jeff and Karen slurping all over each other, talking about how great they are and blathering about Global Force Wrestling as if it wasn't a thing that couldn't sell out a bingo hall in the middle of nowhere. There were moments of fire there, but most of it was just so...blah. Way to take a moment that's supposed to be a big surprise and turn it into a turd. Why was Karen even there? Who gives a fuck about Karen Jarrett? And Jarrett's promo only put over guys who wrestle in other places now!!! And he's going to win that match on Sunday (although I'm not sure who's in that match or why I should give a shit who wins!) and TNA will get absolutely nothing out of it.

    Dixie Carter is a fucking idiot.

    ReplyDelete
  2. Hold on, some nobody jobber with the name of 'Bram' should pin Vader? Are you kidding me???

    ReplyDelete
  3. kbwrestlingreviewsJune 24, 2015 at 10:18 PM

    Yes, because Bram isn't a jobber in TNA.

    ReplyDelete
  4. But ONITA100 said he was!

    ReplyDelete
  5. kbwrestlingreviewsJune 24, 2015 at 10:20 PM

    Nothing has been announced for the match other than Jarrett. I loved how Csonka put it on 411:


    Jeff Jarrett vs. TBA vs. TBD vs. ??? vs. A Mystery Opponent

    ReplyDelete
  6. It's pretty worthless bringing Vader back like this. TNA should have done what NXT is doing to Rhyno right now, by having him squash geeks and then lose to guys that NXT wants to push to the next level.

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  7. Jeff Jarrett returns, Matt Morgan returns, Hernandez returns, random Vader appearance... literally what

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  8. Who finds Karen Angle likeable?

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  9. If Vader can still sorta go, I don't have a problem with it, so long as the end game is Vader making a star out of someone and the whole thing lasts for a months at most, but TNA really should have signed the guy as soon as Vader did his last cameo on Raw.

    ReplyDelete
  10. You don't have to like someone to bang them.

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  11. I write for 411mania and that's literally how the roundtable for Slammiversry is looking right now.

    ReplyDelete
  12. I haven't read about a TNA show in forever, but man... this just sounds sad.

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  13. I've always liked Jarrett, and I like him even more now that he's getting paid to cut a promo putting over people that left the company paying him and his own company which he started after leaving this company.


    This would be like...if...Vince allowed Hulk Hogan to talk up WCW and Randy Savage on Raw in 1995. I'm sure Jarrett only showed up if he was allowed to say all of this but...what leverage does he have? What impels her to do such a thing?


    I'm all for wrestling companies helping each other out, but this is TNA not only publicly castrating themselves, but paying somebody to do it.

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  14. What's really weird is you get this final Nitro vibe with the owner of another company coming on, putting his company over... but it's Jeff freakin' Jarrett and he's putting over GFW, which was drawing less than stellar numbers at a baseball field.

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  15. He's wrestler enough to pin Charlotte every night.


    If you catch my drift.


    They're banging.


    Because...they're married.


    At least, I assume they're banging.


    I mean, that's not to say that you need to have sex to have a healthy marriage.


    Nor am I saying that they're in a healthy marriage.


    But I think that sex is a natural and healthy way to express affection.


    And I hope they're in a healthy marriage.

    ReplyDelete
  16. The original Angle Slam.

    ReplyDelete
  17. kbwrestlingreviewsJune 24, 2015 at 11:50 PM

    Yeah I remember being on those. It's been awhile but I'm assuming it's the same format.

    ReplyDelete
  18. It didn't dawn on ANYONE in TNA that Bram and Angle should switch opponents? Bram pipes Matt in the stomach, Jeff makes the save, they have a match next week once Bram finds a 4th, meanwhile EC3 brings in a legendary monster to soften Angle up before their title match, Kurt gets 7 shades of shit kicked out of him, but survives.


    This company can't die fast enough.

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  19. Cena vs Orton,one more timeJune 25, 2015 at 12:29 AM

    When have TNA and logic ever gone together?

    ReplyDelete
  20. Adam "Colorado" CurryJune 25, 2015 at 12:44 AM

    The guy that did the Impact review over there (not Csonka, the other guy)... man, that's the worst recap I've ever read in my life. And why the hell did you guys bring Watry back?

    ReplyDelete
  21. Not my call, above my pay grade.

    ReplyDelete
  22. You made the cardinal sin: hoping TNA was going to improve. They have a history of fucking up anything they have going for themselves. Plus, they still don't know how to promote a PPV for shit. It's a terrible company that deserves to die. Whoever says otherwise is a fool.

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  23. Holy fuck, it's baffling that Jeff Jarrett still thinks he was ever relevant to this business.

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  24. How bad does Vader need the money?

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  25. Like...this is beyond WCW level shit. They promoted dumb stuff, but it was all vaguely related to their 'brand' as a Turner property.


    This is TNA letting a guy defect from the company, poach talent, put over more defectors, and get treated like a king.

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  26. Yeah, but he's already been paid. So who gives a shit?


    He's reaching Nash levels of politicking.

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  27. In a hilarious bit 411mania has listed the Slammiversary card and for the main event they have:
    – King of the Mountain Match: Jeff Jarrett vs. ??? vs. TBA vs. TBD vs. A Mystery Opponent for an unknown prize

    Wow that's really going to increase the buyrate.

    ReplyDelete
  28. DOES Vader need the money? isn't he God Almighty in Japan?

    ReplyDelete
  29. TNA is so weird. It seems that whenever they just drop off the radar, and they're not focused on big shows and surprises, they quietly make good television. Whenever they're like "Okay, this show has to be something special", they almost always just drop the ball.

    ReplyDelete

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