Friday, June 5, 2015

The SmarK Rant for New Japan on AXS–05.29.15

The SmarK Rant for New Japan on AXS – 05.29.15

Still a week behind, but the show is a year out of date anyway so no big whoop.

Taped from Osaka, Japan (June 21 2014)

Your hosts are Mauro Ranallo & Josh Barnett

IWGP Junior tag titles: The Young Bucks vs. The Timesplitters (Kushida & Alex Shelley)

I bet there's some superkicks here. Josh gets an immediate laugh with “Do they really need pockets on their tights? Don't they have space for their possessions in their locker?”. Barnett has a pretty good ratio of funny lines in the shows I've watched so far. Nick stomps away on Kushida and gives him assorted crotch chops (DON'T TELL SHAWN MICHAELS!), but Matt tags in and gets caught in the time travelling corner. I feel like they should never lose because they'd just go back 10 minutes and fix their mistakes. If we were booking realistically. Matt ducks away from a superkick and heads out, but Kushida wipes him out on the floor and the Splitters follow with stereo dives. We're clipped ahead in time (OH THE IRONY), which Mauro actually acknowledges, and Kushida clears the ring again and this time hits a crazy swanton bomb to the floor. Back in, more insane double-teaming from the babyfaces as they do a hit a Shelley Sliced Bread off Kushida's electric chair on Nick. Nick comes back with a tornado DDT on Shelley, but Matt blocks Kushida's Hoverboard lock with a tombstone for two. Matt with a turnbuckle powerbomb on Kushida and Nick hits a 450 while Matt drapes Kushida on the ropes, but that only gets two. Bang For Your Buck misses and Shelley sends the Bucks together in the Tree of Woe, and Kushida follows with the Hoverboard on Nick to win the titles at 8:41 shown (16:50 total according to the graphics). This was just ALL crazy action the whole time. I'm really quite enjoying Kushida on these shows and I hope he wins the BOSJ this year. ****1/4

Takashi Iizuka & Minoru Suzuki vs. Toru Yano & Kazushi Sakuraba

Suzuki is just the grumpiest bastard on earth and he's awesome in his role. Mauro and Josh manage to back all the backstory here into the introductions because they are GREAT and understand how to get stuff like this over for new viewers. LOOKING AT YOU, every other promotion in the world. Iizuka was best known in the US, sort of, for having the piss beat out of him by Rick and Scott Steiner on a WCW show in 1991, but has basically reinvented his career as a batshit crazy old guy with a finisher called the IRON FINGERS. Mostly comedy stuff to start as Iizuka attacks Yano from behind and Suzuki grabs a flying armbar from the apron before everyone goes brawling to the floor. Suzuki chokes Sakuraba down with the bell hammer and they fight into the crowd as we take a break. Back with Iizuka choking himself out with the microphone cord, which Josh attributes to 20 years of concussions, and finally Sakuraba gets a cheapshot from outside to make Iizuka the face-in-peril. The term “babyface” is quite possibly the least apt description for either Iizuka or Sukuzi, perhaps the two ugliest men in NJPW. Suzuki quickly tags in and gets a running boot on Sakuraba, then punts him for two. They trade armbar attempts and choke attempts as an MMA match suddenly breaks out until Iizuka breaks it up with his tag rope. The heels undo the turnbuckle, but Yano ends up going into the steel in a funny sequence. Yano goes low and cradles Suzuki for two, but Iizuka pulls out the ref with relish. Iizuka's nutso act is so entertaining here. Suzuki nails Yano with a chair, Iizuka pulls out the IRON FINGERS FROM HELL, and Suzuki finishes with the Gotch Piledriver at 10:29 shown (15:13 total). The announcers openly bury the match and how shitty it was afterwards, which makes it all the more hilarious. Important distinction: They don't do it WHILE you're watching the match! Looking at you, MAGGLE. Come on, you have to love a match where guys are doing faux-UFC sequences while Iizuka is breaking up pins with wacky Memphis wrestling nonsense at the same time. Was it terrible smoke and mirrors horseshit? Of course. Was I entertained by all the terrible smoke and mirrors? Hell yes. **

IWGP Junior Title: Kota Ibushi vs. Ricochet

There is too much beautiful here for one match to contain, like the plastic bag floating in the breeze in American Beauty. But without stupid Wes Bentley. I guess it's only fair that if I can watch NXT on Wednesday and watch Alexa Bliss and Carmella on a totally superficial level, my wife has the right to ogle these two. Ricochet sends Ibushi to the floor with kicks, and back in for a Zig Zag and standing SSP for two. But, you know, WWE already had one high-flyer with Neville, so that's enough. Low kick gets two. Ricochet tries something like Konnan's Tequila Sunrise, but Ibushi makes the ropes and they trade chops in the corner as we take a break. Back with Ibushi dumping Ricochet and following with a running springboard moonsault to the floor. Back in, Ricochet fires back with a springboard missile dropkick to put Ibushi on the floor, then follows with a NO HANDS somersault dive over the corner post. Holy COW. Back in, GTS gets two. They fight to the top and Kota hits a top rope rana, but Ricochet lands on his FEET and then follows with a pair of brainbusters for two. But, you know, already had one high-flyer, so why would WWE need another one? They hit each other with simultanous high kicks and Ricochet wins that one, but Ibushi hits a lariat with a 360 sell from Ricochet. I am of course a huge mark for anyone that does that. Ibushi with a Last Ride powerbomb for two. Phoenix splash misses, however, and Ricochet gets a Shooting Star Press for two. And we take a break on that note. Back with Ricochet trying the finisher, but Ibushi reverses into a rana for two. Ibushi drops him with a high kick and finishes with the Phoenix-plex (a package powerbomb setup into a bridge suplex) at 13:37 to retain. Just tremendous, jaw-dropping stuff from start to finish. ****1/2

The Pulse

Some shows just make me happy to be a wrestling fan, and this is one of them. I actually subscribe to New Japan World, but the commentary of Mauro and Josh actually makes the shows even BETTER to watch. If you've got an hour to watch some wrestling, this is the episode to check out.

357 comments:

  1. Who's the better commentary team: Mauro Ranallo & Josh Barnett or Jim Ross & Matt Striker?

    ReplyDelete
  2. Is there any less than legit places to watch this on the net? Every episode from season 1 was up quickly and now I can't find any at all from season 2? Don't get axs where I am

    ReplyDelete
  3. Virgil's Gimmick TableJune 5, 2015 at 9:24 PM

    Google WatchWrestling. The have every episode there.

    ReplyDelete
  4. Virgil's Gimmick TableJune 5, 2015 at 9:26 PM

    Mauro and Josh. Between J.R. messing up the names and Striker just being an annoying fuck, they have big flaws. They still did a good job, don't get me wrong. But Mauro and Josh have a unique chemistry that most commentary teams don't have.

    ReplyDelete
  5. I saw this last week and I'm not some Japanese wrestling junkie or anything, but why isn't ricochet in the wwe and being shot to the top of the card? He's got a great look, he seems totally crisp in the ring and I can't see US crowds not totally marking out for the guy. What am I missing?

    ReplyDelete
  6. They already have a high flyer in Neville. You only need one. It's a rule. Try to keep up here.

    ReplyDelete
  7. Being shot to the top of the freaking card? He can't cut a promo to save his life and he's really nothing special that they don't already have a thousand of or have had a thousand of.

    ReplyDelete
  8. Is there a Roku channel that has it?

    ReplyDelete
  9. Your opinion. Then again you're an idiot

    ReplyDelete
  10. Yeah I'm an idiot that thinks some nobody indy worker getting a push in Japan should not only be HIRED but shot to the "top of the card". That may be an opinion and we're all idiots at times but your statement puts you in a much lower, much more sad sub class of idiots.

    ReplyDelete
  11. No the fact that you hang around on a webpage that you don't like makes you an idiot. And someone with too much time on their hands. The main take away is you're just a dipshit

    ReplyDelete
  12. Alex Shelley is still one of my favorite wrestlers in the world. His going to NJPW got me to start watching it.

    ReplyDelete
  13. I do enjoy this webpage a lot. I don't recall ever saying I don't like this webpage. I don't even not like the people on it. They are delusional a lot of times, oblivious a lot of time. They say stupid shit being obssesed with the tabloid aspect for so long they aren't capable of enjoying wrestling on a casual basis. That creates this strange bubble where they start bitching about LED lights on aprons and how Triple H wasn't over 16 years ago. Oh and HARD cameras the agony! That being said there are some good discussion here and guys like Stan Ford do a perfect job of balancing the insanity of this place while somehow staying grounded in reality.

    ReplyDelete
  14. No but House of Hardcore is up on Roku. I know its not close to the same thing but I have heard good things about it so atleast its another wrestling promotion thats on "tv" even as that phrase continues to change in meaning.

    ReplyDelete
  15. Team wise its tough to say. Striker is excellent on Lucha Underground beyond excellent but Vampiro doesn't add all that much if he's not ragging on Konnan so that kills the whole team part on that.

    ReplyDelete
  16. I really though he would be a big deal in 2006. I was actually not happy with the Machine Guns push since I really thought he had singles star written all over him. The gimmick with Nash in TNA was awesome and I thought he was on his way. Then they put him in a workrate tag team and that seems to have been his role ever since. Past his time but damn he was a top five guy for me in like 06.

    ReplyDelete
  17. I streamed a little of House of Hardcore 6. Outside of Storm/Bennett and the Main, I wasn't really itching for more. I do enjoy NJPW when I can get it, though.

    ReplyDelete
  18. Unfortunately that site doesnt seem to have it, its where I followed season 1 but now season 2 isnt being uploaded Anywhere other sites might carry it?

    ReplyDelete
  19. I have not seen it but I heard it was pretty good.

    ReplyDelete
  20. It would have been slightly forgiveable if it had been one of his better T's, like the Austin 3:16 one, but IIRC he's wearing that awful one where he has snakes for arms.

    ReplyDelete
  21. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 10:48 PM

    In a perfect world, Wrestlemania XXX would've been sponsored by youporn.

    ReplyDelete
  22. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 10:50 PM

    Yep. The Arm Snakes. Boooo.

    ReplyDelete
  23. Why was Jerry Lawler always denying that Brian Christopher was his kid? I could see if Jerry wanted his son to stand on his own two feet, but they were both heels in the WWF.

    ReplyDelete
  24. Adam "Colorado" CurryJune 5, 2015 at 10:50 PM

    The whole build to it I was calling it WM NC-17.

    ReplyDelete
  25. Cole: "And that reason is the WWF Championship! That black and gold belt he's currently hoisting onto his right shoulder! Now he's walking to the ring! Right foot! Left foot! Again! Again!"

    ReplyDelete
  26. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 10:50 PM

    Austin's knee got murdered on that lighting rig.

    ReplyDelete
  27. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 10:51 PM

    Because, look at who his kid is.

    ReplyDelete
  28. Adam "Colorado" CurryJune 5, 2015 at 10:51 PM

    Compared to Jake Roberts Hardy was pretty straight.

    ReplyDelete
  29. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 10:51 PM

    Is that championship symbolic!? Is it symbolic!?

    ReplyDelete
  30. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 10:52 PM

    "You wanna play 21? I got 22".

    ReplyDelete
  31. It's a lot tougher to hit on teen girls when they know you have a son that's older than them.

    ReplyDelete
  32. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 10:52 PM

    That entrance rig starts swaying when Rock bumps into it. That's scary

    ReplyDelete
  33. I'm shocked that, between that call and spoiling the main event, Cole kept his job.

    ReplyDelete
  34. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 10:54 PM

    Should have counted how much time they've spent in the ring so far. It's close to 0.

    ReplyDelete
  35. Adam "Colorado" CurryJune 5, 2015 at 10:54 PM

    You can see Anvil was PISSED about it, he stiffs the fuck out him the whole match.

    ReplyDelete
  36. Damn...and the announcers know it as soon as they see it. That's fucking crazy.

    ReplyDelete
  37. Shelton BenjaminJune 5, 2015 at 10:54 PM

    Is Parks still good now that Chris and Ann are gone?

    ReplyDelete
  38. Adam "Colorado" CurryJune 5, 2015 at 10:55 PM

    When I hear the words "crotch chop" I think of Waltman, not Michaels.

    ReplyDelete
  39. Damn. That elbow onto the announce table probably stung.

    ReplyDelete
  40. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 10:55 PM

    You still haven't finished? Yeah IMO Season 6 improves a bit once they leave. Ann had lost all humor as a character by then. And Season 7 was fantastic.

    ReplyDelete
  41. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 10:57 PM

    Goddamn that took forever, they started 45 minutes late, though the salutatorian did say something about everyone doing well on their future endeavors, which was pretty funny.

    People still watching something?

    ReplyDelete
  42. Your favorite of the following?


    Demolition Crush
    Kona Crush
    DOA Crush

    ReplyDelete
  43. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 10:57 PM

    WrestleMania XV main event.

    ReplyDelete
  44. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 10:57 PM

    Eh, kind of their worst match together

    ReplyDelete
  45. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 10:57 PM

    Kona Crush. Badass theme music.

    ReplyDelete
  46. This feels like the ancestor of the Rock-Angle finisher-fests.

    ReplyDelete
  47. DOA Crush. Because he looked like he shot a man in Reno, just to watch him die.

    ReplyDelete
  48. Crush vs Savio Vega vs Farrooq

    ReplyDelete
  49. Shelton BenjaminJune 5, 2015 at 10:58 PM

    I dunno, I like both Chris and Ann's dynamic with the others

    ReplyDelete
  50. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 10:59 PM

    Jesus man, why?

    ReplyDelete
  51. Shelton BenjaminJune 5, 2015 at 10:59 PM

    Hm, you say no and Burt says yes

    ReplyDelete
  52. Watched the Scott Putski injury based on an earlier reommendation. Now I'm too lazy to grab the PS4 remote.

    ReplyDelete
  53. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:00 PM

    Art's dumb as a shovel. The show dies the moment they drive away.

    ReplyDelete
  54. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 11:00 PM

    Chris was still awesome but Ann in Season 6 just didn't entertain me at all. I was ready for her to split.

    ReplyDelete
  55. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:00 PM

    When he heard that whistle blowing, does he hang his head and cry?

    ReplyDelete
  56. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 11:00 PM

    Don't listen to Marv he hasn't seen Season 7 yet.

    ReplyDelete
  57. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:00 PM

    Because there isn't one.

    ReplyDelete
  58. Well, obviously not now, but then, maybe.

    ReplyDelete
  59. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 11:02 PM

    Listen to me. I'm giving you a complete opinion. Marv is giving you a jigsaw opinion with half the pieces missing which is why he don't get the picture.

    ReplyDelete
  60. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:02 PM

    Honestly Kona Crush was the only time I ever really cared about him, I was a kid sure, but still.

    ReplyDelete
  61. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 11:02 PM

    This is the second time on this show that the crowd has chanted for an HBK run-in only for someone else to run-in.

    ReplyDelete
  62. Rock Bottom to Tim White, then Stunner, replete with Rock's miniature A-bomb sell.

    ReplyDelete
  63. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:02 PM

    Billy Gunn?

    ReplyDelete
  64. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:02 PM

    That mullet was a thing of beauty as well.

    ReplyDelete
  65. He'd have landed in Jersey.

    ReplyDelete
  66. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 11:03 PM

    Dude you missed the GREATEST Billy Gunn slide of all time.

    ReplyDelete
  67. Billy Gunn had the greatest run in ever.

    ReplyDelete
  68. That mullet was an A- player.

    ReplyDelete
  69. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 11:03 PM

    Seriously check out the end of X-Pac vs. Shane. The greatest slide ever.

    ReplyDelete
  70. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:03 PM

    Better than skipping into the Rumble?

    ReplyDelete
  71. Almost clipped his forehead on the opposite bottom rope. Went UNDER AND PAST Triple H.

    ReplyDelete
  72. He genuinely almost hit the ropes on the far side of the ring.

    ReplyDelete
  73. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 11:04 PM

    He slides through the entire ring. From ropes to ropes.

    ReplyDelete
  74. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:04 PM

    LOL I'm loading it up right now

    ReplyDelete
  75. Shelton BenjaminJune 5, 2015 at 11:04 PM

    Lol at Ben and Larry/Gary/Jerry doing the anniversary stuff

    ReplyDelete
  76. We agreed as a group to rewind and watch it again. Just to make sure it really happened.

    ReplyDelete
  77. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 11:05 PM

    Insane pop for Austin's win.

    ReplyDelete
  78. Insane sell on that Stunner.

    ReplyDelete
  79. Holy Shit! Crush vs Savio Vega vs Farrooq still hasn't ended! Where's Gorilla Monsoon when you need him to run out and scream "GO HOME!!"

    ReplyDelete
  80. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 11:05 PM

    That slide should be passed down from generation to generation.

    ReplyDelete
  81. Shelton BenjaminJune 5, 2015 at 11:06 PM

    "Dear Canada

    Fuck You"

    Awesome

    ReplyDelete
  82. It was easily my favorite part of this show.

    ReplyDelete
  83. Dolph should inherit it along with the rest of his Billy Gunn starter kit.

    ReplyDelete
  84. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:06 PM

    Who could pull it off these days? Kidd? Zayn?

    ReplyDelete
  85. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:06 PM

    Oh yeah, this was the Mania the Cole got to do...yuck

    ReplyDelete
  86. Spike piledriver as a setup for a heart punch? Okaaaay....

    ReplyDelete
  87. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 11:07 PM

    None. I mean stories of his slide should be passed down. The legend of Gunn's slide.

    ReplyDelete
  88. IS THIS SYMBOLIC?!?

    ReplyDelete
  89. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 11:08 PM

    I'm also going back to watch the slide.

    ReplyDelete
  90. Boo to no Japanese Sympathizer Crush being on the list!

    ReplyDelete
  91. Adam "Colorado" CurryJune 5, 2015 at 11:08 PM

    Crush match?

    ReplyDelete
  92. Austin just pegged the belt into the middle of the ring!

    ReplyDelete
  93. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:09 PM

    I'd hope Cole has a kid who plays little league, and I could be at that game, and when Cole is at the fence yelling encouraging words to his son, I could yell "Cole! Don't get your fingers caught in there!"

    ReplyDelete
  94. Is the El Torrito that wrestled at Ground Zero the same as the current El Torrito?

    ReplyDelete
  95. Earl Hebner just gave us a hell yeah...

    ReplyDelete
  96. It's Taz in a mask.

    ReplyDelete
  97. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 11:10 PM

    He just blazes through everyone. He must have set a land speed record getting to the ring.

    ReplyDelete
  98. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:10 PM

    LMAO, that was pretty good but I still like his run-in during Rock/Foley when Mick wins the belt better

    ReplyDelete
  99. Hebner on a top turnbuckle screaming HELL YEAH while drinking a steveweiser is a sight to see.

    ReplyDelete
  100. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:10 PM

    Maffew has ruined the Oompa Loompas to me forever.

    ReplyDelete
  101. King's reaction to that will never not be funny: "Your FINGERS? After what we saw Mankind go through?"

    ReplyDelete
  102. This celebration is great!

    ReplyDelete
  103. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:12 PM

    He wouldn't leave him alone about it either. Brings it up again a minute or so later. I used to love you, King.

    ReplyDelete
  104. And JR's call made it seem sincere. And King seemed sincerely distraught for the boss. I love it, Maggle!

    ReplyDelete
  105. I like to think that getting fired at this Wrestlemania is the root cause of why Big Show is constantly willing to sell out his friends to keep his job.

    ReplyDelete
  106. Classic or Clusterfuck?


    Max Mini vs Scott Steiner

    ReplyDelete
  107. Like gleefully brought it up. You could practically hear his relief when JR showed up.

    ReplyDelete
  108. Too many fucking armbars in this midget match.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:13 PM

    The visual of a Steiner Screwdriver and the Steiner Recliner is fantastic.

    ReplyDelete
  110. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:14 PM

    https://youtu.be/7Pp2S_JZTxE?t=10m33s

    LOL there's just something about the way he almost goes over Shamrock and they both hit the ground that just kills me, it's the best Billy moment ever

    ReplyDelete
  111. Like, did he mean to leave the ring, or is he just excitable? Lol

    ReplyDelete
  112. Fuck it, these midgets have compelled me to get up and grab the remote. Time to get me some BRRROCK. LEZZZZNAAR.

    ReplyDelete
  113. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:16 PM

    Dude is SO goddamn excitable when he gets to interfere, every run-in is solid gold

    ReplyDelete
  114. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:17 PM

    You say RUN IN to Billy and he perks up like a dog being told he's going for a walk.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Edge vs Brock Lesnar and Paul Heyman. Heyman's greatest match?

    ReplyDelete
  116. Shelton BenjaminJune 5, 2015 at 11:17 PM

    Crazy Craig is great

    ReplyDelete
  117. I watched a random Raw from 2002 the other day and saw him massacre Flair. I'd forgotten how crazy that whole episode was.

    ReplyDelete
  118. Better than the tuxedo match vs. Cornette? Mayyyybe.

    ReplyDelete
  119. The first of many Big Show turns, two Chyna turns, a signficant pop for X-Pac getting pedigreed, Blue Shamrock tights, a hanging followed by the most inappropriate segue ever, the best Billy Gunn run in ever, Earl Hebner shotgunning a beer, an amazingly fucked up HBK.


    Why don't people like this Wrestlemania again?

    ReplyDelete
  120. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:18 PM

    Oooof, maybe you will like the show then, because he singlehandedly ruined half a season for me.

    ReplyDelete
  121. Michael Cole.

    ReplyDelete
  122. Could you imagine Vince giving two midgets 15 minutes on a PPV today?

    ReplyDelete
  123. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:19 PM

    Yup. If it had been JR and King the whole show, it'd have been fine.

    ReplyDelete
  124. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:19 PM

    Wasn't that Punk vs. Bryan?

    ReplyDelete
  125. Man, I through a fat one over the plate, and you settled for a bunt single.

    ReplyDelete
  126. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:21 PM

    Well that's scary I've found station that is just transmitting SOS over and over again

    ReplyDelete
  127. Get outta my head!

    ReplyDelete
  128. Turning on Armageddon 2000 and going to bed. Night, everybody!

    ReplyDelete
  129. Shelton BenjaminJune 5, 2015 at 11:23 PM

    Creepy

    And awesome

    ReplyDelete
  130. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:23 PM

    What would have constituted a home run?

    ReplyDelete
  131. If I send a check or money order to WWF-TV PO Box 379 Mt. Morris IL 61054, will they still send me a 'Cause Stone Cold Said So VHS tape?

    ReplyDelete
  132. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:24 PM

    You should do it and report back the response.

    ReplyDelete
  133. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:24 PM

    Dude it's super scary, and the signal is pretty strong so I imagine it's probably somewhere in the Pacific

    ReplyDelete
  134. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:25 PM

    Goddammit, Gilligan!

    ReplyDelete
  135. Virgil's Gimmick TableJune 5, 2015 at 11:25 PM

    Damn. That really sucks. I hope someone starts uploading it somewhere. I have no idea where it would be though.

    ReplyDelete
  136. Shelton BenjaminJune 5, 2015 at 11:25 PM

    Long lost WW2 warship

    ReplyDelete
  137. Virgil's Gimmick TableJune 5, 2015 at 11:26 PM

    It doesn't seem so unfortunately.

    ReplyDelete
  138. "Yeah, given how decimated their roster is they'd have to go at least 30, maybe an hour."

    ReplyDelete
  139. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:26 PM

    Or someone is in some serious shit, there's no voice or anything so I assume it's like an automated signal when shit goes wrong

    I am creeped all the fuck out now

    ReplyDelete
  140. I always think of Foley's dreadful chapter in his second book where he questions if Waltman's rapid crotch chops count as one or multiple.

    ReplyDelete
  141. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:27 PM

    I say my response was at last an RBI double.

    ReplyDelete
  142. "Brett Hart vs The Patriot"

    ReplyDelete
  143. Shelton BenjaminJune 5, 2015 at 11:28 PM

    You should go to a forum and see if anyone else picks it up

    ReplyDelete
  144. A broken bat bloop over a diving shortstop's head double.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:29 PM

    It's the ghost of Mickie James.

    ReplyDelete
  146. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:29 PM

    That's good enough.

    ReplyDelete
  147. Shelton BenjaminJune 5, 2015 at 11:30 PM

    They should have used the Wilhelm scream

    ReplyDelete
  148. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:30 PM

    Yeah I put it up on this chat for radio dorks out of the Netherlands but no one's replied yet

    ReplyDelete
  149. Bret Hart not only wasn't good enough to main event as WWF Champion, he isn't even worth proofreading his name!

    ReplyDelete
  150. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:30 PM

    "Man, Mickie sure sounded weird. Did she have a throat infection?"

    ReplyDelete
  151. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:32 PM

    ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn

    ReplyDelete
  152. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:34 PM

    Dude, pretty close the reply I got was "Não seja bobo. Isso é o farol aeronáutica BOT na Alemanha." lol

    Which is Portugese and I guess they're saying it's an aeronautical beacon in Germany but it's very clearly SOS

    ReplyDelete
  153. Just got out from "Spy". Not gonna lie, that was fucking great. I'd put it up there with the Jump St movies in terms of making me laugh my dick off

    ReplyDelete
  154. Adam "Colorado" CurryJune 5, 2015 at 11:35 PM

    2 bags is 2 bags.

    ReplyDelete
  155. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:36 PM

    It looks decent. Also, you may wanna throw that on ice, before it's too late.

    ReplyDelete
  156. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:38 PM

    "I for one welcome our new insect overlords".

    ReplyDelete
  157. Better than decent, it cracks four snowflakes on the five point scale for me. The kind of movie where it makes you laugh and miss the next three lines of dialogue; trailers definitely didn't do justice.

    ReplyDelete
  158. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 11:40 PM

    Watching the Austin holds Vince hostage with the fake gun segment. McMahon 3:16 says I just pissed my pants.

    ReplyDelete
  159. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:40 PM

    Something Steph would never ever never do.

    ReplyDelete
  160. Jonathan MeisnerJune 5, 2015 at 11:41 PM

    Again, take notes Stephanie.

    ReplyDelete
  161. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZth29D337A

    ReplyDelete
  162. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:42 PM

    Well that got way too creepy, now I'm listening to SeaTac. I love listening to airports they make everything sound like imminent disaster.

    ReplyDelete
  163. Huh. Well then. There you have it.

    ReplyDelete
  164. "Yep Mode" Abeyance Brown ©June 5, 2015 at 11:45 PM

    For those who have Macs, does getting updates take as long as Windows 7?

    ReplyDelete
  165. The trailers made it seem like a hackneyed piece of shit that was intended more for kids, so cool to hear it's actually good.

    ReplyDelete
  166. I liked that she doesn't do the Farley schtick at all (all the pratfalls are in the ads); they just give a likable character and great lines and she knocks them out of the park. Whole cast was great; I'll take two sequels if it means more of Jason Statham doing what he does here

    ReplyDelete
  167. Charlton CrestonJune 5, 2015 at 11:48 PM

    How long does Windows 7 take? Both my laptop and desktop usually update in minutes.

    ReplyDelete
  168. Sid Vicious was denied urgently needed medical attention for over five minutes so Road Warrior Animal could shock the world.

    ReplyDelete
  169. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 5, 2015 at 11:59 PM

    "People don't trust you Frank. You're a piece of shit. And you're ugly"

    ReplyDelete
  170. No idea. I'm still blissfully using Snow Leopard.

    ReplyDelete
  171. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 6, 2015 at 12:04 AM

    "I got this giant gaping hole inside me. And I'm always trying to fill it with something. I call it my God hole. And I think a lot of people fill it with religion. But I don't believe in God."

    "You wanna fill it with pussy."

    "Yeah"

    ReplyDelete
  172. Charlton CrestonJune 6, 2015 at 12:04 AM

    How far are you into Season 2 of Agents now? We finished the other night.

    It's got a hell of a damn season ending, but it's still not as fun as Season 1 I don't think.

    ReplyDelete
  173. So everyone who thinks he can't cut a promo to save his life is an idiot? TripleS wasn't the only one who made the "promos suck" observation last time, man.

    ReplyDelete
  174. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 6, 2015 at 12:05 AM

    Still on Episode 16. Gonna start up again soon. Been watching too much Sunny lately.

    ReplyDelete
  175. Charlton CrestonJune 6, 2015 at 12:07 AM

    I'm interested in your take on it, the whole thing gets really weird. They finally pair Fitzsimmons back up for the last few episodes though, so that's cool. His brain damage just kinda....heals itself I guess.

    ReplyDelete
  176. Adam "Colorado" CurryJune 6, 2015 at 12:07 AM

    Why guys don't do that more often against the shift is beyond me.

    ReplyDelete
  177. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 6, 2015 at 12:11 AM

    Hell yeah! FitzSimmons on patrol!

    ReplyDelete
  178. Michael Cole, from a 2004 Smackdown:

    "Rene Dupree was out here earlier saying that Americans can't cut it as United States Champions, well last time I checked, there was an American who won the Tour de France five different times!"



    1. What does one thing have to do with another?
    2. Maybe he should check again.

    ReplyDelete
  179. Ichiro Suzuki is the last guy that remembers the art of bunting. Also the last practitioner of the Baltimore Chop.

    ReplyDelete
  180. What is a "win"? Isn't it just a part of the event being held? Doesn't the body that sponsors a race have the power to decide who "wins" it?

    ReplyDelete
  181. Charlton CrestonJune 6, 2015 at 12:24 AM

    Does it really have to be written? It's in the name..."bike race" like, we get on our bikes and race.

    ReplyDelete
  182. Two people racing for fun, sure. Lots of people racing for money, with lots more people responsible for supporting it...then things get more complicated.


    "Bike race" is nowhere in the "Tour de France" name.

    ReplyDelete
  183. Charlton CrestonJune 6, 2015 at 12:26 AM

    It doesn't have to be, it's already what it is.

    ReplyDelete
  184. Macklin, Man Without FearJune 6, 2015 at 12:26 AM

    Seems he's being purposefully obtuse. Or else this is a vintage Marv/Hoss exchange.

    ReplyDelete
  185. Charlton CrestonJune 6, 2015 at 12:26 AM

    God I love talking to Hoss lol

    ReplyDelete
  186. You're trying to oversimplify things that you don't wish to spend the time to understand. I recommend religion to further improve your life.

    ReplyDelete
  187. I think they're partly there just to spy on wrestlers, to make sure no one is blading.

    ReplyDelete
  188. Ranallo and Barnett are tremendous, especially given that they're stuck with year-old material at this point. JR and Striker just didn't gel for me.

    Side note: I'm catching up on the World Cup with Matt and Vampiro and the way the audio is laid out, it's like they're half-RiffTraxing the whole thing.

    ReplyDelete
  189. Trying to equate The Tour de France to a bike rice is like trying to equate the McDonalds Corporation to a hamburger.

    ReplyDelete
  190. TheRealCitizenSnipsJune 6, 2015 at 12:28 AM

    " Back with Iizuka choking himself out with the microphone cord, which Josh attributes to 20 years of concussions"

    Man, I guess you can get away with that in Japan but can you imagine the shitstorm if WWE did something like that?

    ReplyDelete
  191. God creates everything. God wants you to be happy. You can't just take all of those facts away, can you?

    ReplyDelete
  192. Charlton CrestonJune 6, 2015 at 12:30 AM

    Aviator has the creepiest open of any movie ever.

    ReplyDelete
  193. Adam "Colorado" CurryJune 6, 2015 at 12:32 AM

    What's silly is shit like USC getting their national championship taken away because Reggie Bush took a couple grand from a booster. If you're doping or covering up child molestation I can see it, but Bush was basically getting a tip for his hard work.

    ReplyDelete