Saturday, June 20, 2015

The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro–08.05.96

The SmarK Rant for WCW Monday Nitro – 08.05.96

Live from Orlando, FL. I thought they were done with this? It was a nice change of pace, but it's been five weeks now.

Your hosts are Tony & Larry

WCW World tag team titles: Harlem Heat vs. The Rock N Roll Express

So tonight Scott Norton, Big Bubba, Meng and Barbarian will be acting as ringside security in case the nWo decides to attack again. But what if DX drives a tank up to the show? They'll be HELPLESS! So I feel like this is gonna be a weird style clash. So the first 2:00 or so is stalling, and we take a break and return with the RNR getting a brief advantage on Stevie Ray before Morton gets caught in the corner and double-teamed. Stevie with a press slam and elbow for two. Stevie goes to the chinlock while Booker gets distracted by Sherri and Parker doing their weird act at ringside. Clearly everyone is just dying from the humidity out there. Finally Morton gets the hot tag to Gibson (which Tony actually calls as such!) and they hit Booker with the double dropkick for two, but Sherri distracts Robert Gibson, allowing Booker to recover and pin him after a big boot from Stevie at 10:43. Yeah, this was no good. 1/2*

The Nasty Boys clarify that they stand where they've always stood: Right here in Nastyville. Good to know.

Malia Hosaka vs. Madusa

Madusa sweeps the leg and gets a sunset flip for two, but Hosaka uses the hair to take over. She gets a TERRIBLE figure-four, but Madusa fights back with a powerbomb for two. Superplex and she goes after Sonny Onoo, allowing Hosaka to get a cheap pin with Onoo holding the legs at 4:50. This led to absolutely nothing. *

Alex Wright vs. Chris Benoit

Benoit beats on Wright in the corner until the ref pulls him off, so Wright fires back and gets a dropkick to send Benoit out of the ring. Back in, they trade headlocks and Wright gets a pair of flying headscissors, but misses a blind charge in dramatic fashion. Benoit takes over with a back elbow for two and a backdrop suplex for two. Benoit chokes him out and drops him on the top rope for two. Wright with a rollup for two, but Benoit puts him down with a snap suplex for two. Abdominal stretch, but Wright escapes with a hiptoss, so Benoit rides him down and goes to a camel clutch. Larry is a big fan of the suffering involved here. And then Jimmy Hart comes out to rant at the women, and Dean Malenko wants to haul Woman to the back, so Benoit attacks and gets counted out at 8:24. What a lame finish. Match was OK. **

Randy Savage vs. Lord Steven Regal

They trade armbars to start and Savage quickly snaps and chokes Regal down in the corner, but he gets tossed as Tony makes the shocking announcement that Eric and Bobby are in fact not here. So it's still Tony and Larry for a second hour. So now Luger and Sting joins us at ringside and take a seat in the mysterious vacant front row chairs while Savage takes over and slugs Regal down. They brawl outside and Savage runs him into the chairs, and back in to finish with the flying elbow at 6:15. Nothing match that was basically a squash for Savage, which is a shame because this could have been awesome. *1/2 Speaking of Savage, one of the most hilarious real life running gags in WCW history begins this week in the Observer: “Add Lanny Poffo to the list who are under contract, although there are no plans of using him. Must be nice to be a nephew or brother to a top wrestler in WCW.” Poffo would of course remain under contract for the next FOUR YEARS without ever being used once. Also, they spend this entire show hyping up the main event for next week, which will be Randy Savage challenging the winner of the World title match at Hog Wild. And of course, Randy Savage does not wrestle the winner of the World title match on next week's show, he wrestles Ric Flair. That kind of stuff drives me nuts.

Meanwhile, Sting and Luger investigate the mysterious nWo limo, and they find a wreath saying “Condolences on the death of WCW” in the back. According to Meltzer, that was a rib on Jim Cornette, who actually sent one of those for real to Jim Herd years before. They cut a promo with Savage in the ring and boot the wreath. This show has not exactly been a game-changer like last week's.

Ric Flair vs. The Booty Man

Flair attacks Booty and beats on him outside, then back in for a blatant low blow. And now Bobby Heenan joins us at ringside while Booty Man makes a comeback, and he claims that Bischoff is still missing. Flair goes to finish with the figure-four at 3:00 and then Horsemen come in and lay a beatdown on him for good measure, so I guess it's a DQ or something. DUD That's pretty much it for the Booty Man character, in fact, as I believe his last appearance was getting punked out by Hogan at Hog Wild.

The Following Announcement Has Been Paid For By The New World Order

The Outsiders and Hogan make fun of Lex Luger and rant about the Giant until suddenly the tape is cut off in the control room. Sting and Luger bully the poor tech geeks and censor the nWo's right to free speech! FASCISM! Tony's assessment of the situation: “In defense of Craig Leathers, it WAS a paid announcement from the nWo, but Sting has a good point, throw 'em off the air!” Uh...touche?

The Giant vs. Craig Pittman

Giant clubs Pittman around and chokes away in the corner, but Pittman throws headbutts to the gut before Giant chokeslams him like a piece of garbage at 2:30. Your Tony line of the night: Craig Pittman is apparently “one of the greatest amateur wrestlers of all time”. Just...no. Poor Teddy Long gets chokeslammed afterwards! I hope Hogan beats that big bully now. Giant cuts a really good promo afterwards, which is still kind of mind-blowing since he was less than a year into the sport at this point.

Sting & Lex Luger vs. The Nasty Boys

This show is so long that it feels like Glacier will be here before it's over. No, that's a ridiculous exaggeration, nothing could be longer than the wait for Glacier to debut. Luger quickly cleans house on the Nasties and Sting bulldogs Knobs for two, but he quickly gets caught in the corner and double-teamed. Sting gets worked over in a lengthy heat segment, but makes the hot tag to Luger and it's BONZO GONZO, leading to a brawl on the floor that quickly involves the Steiners. Sting finishes Sags with the Deathlock at 7:04. *1/2 Sting and Luger head down to a second nWo limo and check inside, but someone slams the door and leaves him with a note promising four or even five people. Kind of cool because the Network kept things going after the end of the show and gave us the extra footage of Sting reading the note.

The Pulse

Definitely gotta give the win to RAW this week, as Nitro was a meandering show with no good matches and no real developments.

63 comments:

  1. Didn't this long stretch of tapings in Orlando have to do with all of Turner's guys helping with the Olympics in Atlanta?

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  2. Oh god, that angle with the Nasty Boys trying to join the nWo was so bad. Just goes to show how Hogan will have no problems railroading a hot angle just to get his boys in on the action.

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  3. I believe so

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  4. They really could of used PN News at this point

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  5. The Jim Herd wreath is one of the best petty immature Cornette moments.

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  6. Having vacationed in Walt Disney World in August, and sweating just from walking from attraction to attraction, I can't imagine how these guys dealt with the heat and humidity of wrestling outdoors. That had to be absolute murder.

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  7. Yes. The Olympics ended 8/4 so obviously they weren't going to be packing up and moving to some other city the next day for Nitro.

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  8. Man, if I wanted to shoehorn the Nasty Boys into an angle like that and actually *help* them, I might've done it other than making them look like total losers.


    "Hey we want to join you!"
    "LOL...forget it" (punked out)


    That just makes those dudes look like rejects.


    Now, compare that to DDP, who was offered, then *refused* and nailed the NWO. He was mega-over from that!! I'm not sure I can think of a time where the weird "you're tried out and you're not good enough for us" ever got someone super-over.

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  9. Yeah, but it was a nice visual change of pace.


    I wish WWE would do something like that now.

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  10. An outdoor show in the summer up north might work...or at least do it on a beach, where you'll at least get a breeze coming off the ocean. And yeah, anything WWE could do to break up the staleness of their visual production would be much appreciated.

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  11. It's not about getting someone super-over, it's getting them a payday. They got high profile matches with the Outsiders out of it. I guarantee you, had Hall and Nash not ending their careers, Nasty Boys would have been continued to be pushed.

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  12. Alex Wright had a strange and interesting career. Promising start, but just kind of fizzled out.

    WCW was pushing him HARD in the first half of 1995 and trying to get him over by involving him with Flair and company, but they seemed to settle on him being a total midcard act after that. Well until the Berlyn push which got quickly aborted.

    The guy wasn't a bad worker though and had some nice aerial stuff, plus he was fairly tall so he didn't look small next to the heavyweights. The dancing gimmick seemed kind of redudant with Disco Inferno around though -- he would have made a good apple pie babyface in the early 1990s I think, but by the time he got big nobody really got over with that anymore.

    I did like the Beryln gimmick myself a lot though -- the interpreter angle was fun and the look was pretty solid for a xenophobic, militant heel. Too bad it never got off the ground.

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  13. Yeah, poor Wright had a series of poorly-timed encounters with various political factions and always seemed to come out on the losing end of them.

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  14. Yeah, you'd think that make it better but at least Russo attempted to push new guys. No matter how badly executed it may have come across, the effort was always there compared to Sullivan who just showed that politics and nepotism were at an all time high in WCW.

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  15. kbwrestlingreviewsJune 21, 2015 at 12:59 AM

    Even the limited pushing of new people that Russo did didn't make up for destroying the fabric of wrestling itself.

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  16. I liken WCW around this time to ECW back in 2006 where the booking may have been solid and traditional, but the guys they chose to push pretty much made the product unwatchable with Big Show, Lashley, Test and Hardcore Holly on top.


    And sure Russo's vision of the wrestling business was less about the wrestling and more about reality tv or whatever he was striving for, but there were a few good moments from his time as booker. I know it was mostly shit, but there were a few good things unlike the Sullivan era, which had no redeemable values whatsoever.

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  17. kbwrestlingreviewsJune 21, 2015 at 2:15 AM

    There's some decent stuff here too. Luger and Flair as the big bad team isn't the worst idea in the world. It might be the least interesting but it's not the worst. It's a case of making the best of what you're stuck with, which wasn't an option in Russo's time, at least not in the main event.

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  18. Nasty Boys should have assumed they were cool with the nWo only to be turned down

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  19. "and after his wife ran off with a waiter at his restaurant, he had a freak parasailing accident. It was in the hospital that Hogan held his hand and told him "I love you, brother", and that kept him going."



    He pretty much cut this same promo in 93 on Raw in the buildup for WM 9. It was hilarious.

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  20. The Manhattan crowd gave him crap about it, too. Wrong audience to work that promo, Vince.

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  21. Everything is runner-up to the Dairy Queen situation.

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  22. The promo almost plays like a parody. "I got in accident that broke my face. Then my parents died. Then my wife left me."

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  23. I'm surprised he didn't tell us his dog ran away and his truck got repossessed (possibly by the Repo Man).

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  24. "KILL YOURSELF"



    My favorite Raw heckler ever

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  25. guess that gold digging ex-wife was only into the glamor of being married to the Barber


    ... and any Butcher reference is cool with me

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  26. Didn't he also have a legit brain tumor between Wright and Berlin gimmicks too?

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  27. Yeah, I remember thinking that made the Nasties look like shit- you never saw Sags again, and even Knobs took like 2 years off before showing up as a Hardcore Division wrestler. If I didn't know that Knobs & Hogan were pals, then I'd swear the angle was meant as a rib/bury job.

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  28. Doctor FunkopolisJune 21, 2015 at 6:05 AM

    And then his repossessed truck ran ovet his dog.

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  29. Doctor FunkopolisJune 21, 2015 at 6:15 AM

    Everything we kayfabe know about the Nasty Boys says they should have straight up jumped the NWO the first chance they got.

    And then they'd turn around and beat the shit of some babyfaces because that's what they do.

    It would have been a great way to prove how the NWO could handle themselves in a straight fight, without having to use influence to divide the opposition.

    It would also have shown how any opposition would have to be a united front.

    But...whatever. Make them losers instead.

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  30. It actually put Hogan way more over as a heel. Hogan turning on all of his old friends, while Hall and Nash did the opposite.

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  31. Hogan and The Nasty Boys were not kayfab friends. It didn't do anything for Hulk or the nWo, it was awful.

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  32. Nope. Solidified Hogan as a guy that would manipulate people into doing his dirty work, then turn on them. Really helped establish him as a heel.

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  33. You do realize that Sags had a career-threatening injury right in the middle of the story?

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  34. Yeah because people we're really on the fence about the whole thing after Bash at the Beach.


    If you want to use that logic, he accomplished that with Beefcake because that actually made storyline sense.

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  35. A close second is when heel Trish is cutting a promo and says "Wrestling Lita could've jeopardized my life, my career, my family..." and then a fan with perfect timing yells, "YOUR TITS!"

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  36. "YOU SUCK!" when Taker was leaving the ring after he lost to Brock has to be top 10.

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  37. The Nasty Boys were supposed to become foes out for revenge though. Sags injury derailed the whole thing.

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  38. Which is my point about Hogan looking out for his bros despite them being terrible and nobody giving a shit about them anymore.

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  39. What's funny about Herd is that he is literally the one person that nobody says anything positive about. I can't think of anyone else looked down to as much as him

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  40. Happy Father's Day to Scott and all the other Dad's here.

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  41. There was also that, yes. It was a rough career.

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  42. I always liked the guy who yelled at Shawn to "GET TO THE POINT" during a rambling 2002 promo.

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  43. The best part of Sting & Luger interrupting the nWo promo was the exchange as they leave the truck.

    Sting: "Pot pie and Mountain Dew in my trailer!"

    Lex: "Oh really?"

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  44. There's one PN News WCW squash match on YouTube where he goes for his finisher (fat splash off the top), but he positioned the jobber too far away, so he ends up slipping off the turnbuckle and hitting a diving headbutt to the lower abdomen instead. Just awful.

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  45. I'm kinda surprised society's not emo enough to have a counter "holiday" to bash all the shitty fathers out there.

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  46. Shitty dads are best forgotten

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  47. True, chalk it up to what non-Christmas people must think in December I guess, what a stupid waste of a day

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  48. And that's saying something. Is never heard of that one before actually

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  49. Benoit also tortured the poor guy

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  50. James M. FabianoJune 21, 2015 at 9:48 AM

    "Definitely gotta give the win to RAW this week, as Nitro was a meandering show with no good matches and no real developments"
    And no Joe Gomez.

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  51. Father's Day is more important when you worship the Father on that day.

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  52. I didn't know that till Cult mentioning. I did think the beginning of the story sucked to push them, but I can see Cults point (and presumably yours) - they likely would've had a central push.

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  53. I saw him wrestle here in England last year tagging with gangrel against some local guys.

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  54. They did a three way at Havoc or something and they were gone.

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  55. "Don't cuss ME, ya fuckin' ugly bitch!"

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  56. and then someone in the crowd screams out "KILL YOURSELF".

    Were they in Manhattan or Strugis?

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  57. What's funny too is he seems like a really nice guy from the Meltzer radio interview.

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  58. Yeah, I thought the Beefcake one was great, but the Nasty Boys one seemed kinda cheap. I guess it does get across the idea though that they are not just heels amongst other heels, aligned with them by default. It did help push the idea that they are outside/above the organization.

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  59. Craig Pittman
    Championships and accomplishments[edit]
    Amateur Wrestling
    USA Senior Greco-Roman Champion (2 times; 1989 and 1991)[1][2][3]

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  60. "WE ORDERED THE GOD DAMN SHIT BECAUSE WERE *HUNGRY*, NOT BECAUSE WE WANTED TO FUCK AROUND." The best footnote of that story is that Candido & Tammy were eating inside the restaurant when this happened. Imagine grabbing a bite after a show and seeing your promoter/boss suddenly trying to climb through the drive-through window.

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    To start you need to join AdscendMedia and run their Content Locking widget.

    ReplyDelete