Wednesday, February 24, 2016

From the Grudge Match: Ted Blanchard Reviews Clash X: Texas Shootout

The site: wrestlingrecaps.blogspot.com
The Twitter: @grudgematchrcps

Live from Corpus Christi, Texas.




Since the last Clash, Sting won the Iron Man tournament at Starrcade '89, defeating Ric Flair in the last match. Despite that, he was offered a spot in the Four Horsemen, and then was awarded a shot against Flair at the Wrestle War pay-per-view.

Jim Ross and Jim Cornette run down the card. Terry Funk does bad barbecue and gun puns at ringside. Then we go to Gordon Solie with the Road Warriors. The Skyscrapers are apparently going down.

Steve Williams vs. The Samoan Savage- I keep telling myself this is it for Doc, but I'm not 100% sure. The Savage is Tama, and he's managed by Oliver Humperdink. Doc even put his thumb up and went "Hooooo!" on the way to the ring! I was mainly kidding when I called Mr. Drug Smuggler "Hacksaw Duggan" last time. Doc attacks to start, and the Savage heads out. Punches to Tama, then a slam and shoulderblocks. The Savage hits a clothesline out of the corner, then chokes away. Doc gets tossed out, and Humperdink chokes him. Woman came to ringside for some reason, sans Nitron. The Samoan does a nerve hold, as Cornette makes a joke about the border patrol scaring away the "Spanish fans." Oy vey. Savage hits a powerslam for 2.5. The Samoan blocks a sunset flip, Williams attacks but misses an elbow. More chinlockery. Now Cornette makes a joke about a towel salesman for the fans to dry their backs. I can't even. Doc is wandering around outside after something, and Tama flips him back in. Side slam and the Savage goes up. He misses a big splash, and Doc military press slams him. Doc dropkick, and a backslide gets the win. *3/4. I'm going to be so sad if Williams is on the next Clash.

Terry Funk interviews the Horsemen. Ric Flair said the Horsemen will make a statement tonight. Ole (the spokesman, according to Flair), tells Sting he won't be a Horseman anymore. He said Flair originally called Arn and him back in to take out Sting. Then Sting helped Flair against Funk, so he held them off. Then Sting won the Iron Man tourney at Starrcade, and they were about to stomp him, but Flair stopped them again. Sting then did the unthinkable by getting a title shot at Wrestle War vs. Flair. Ole said he has two hours to give up his title shot. Sting grabs Ole by the jacket, and Flair cold-cocks him. Arn and Ole hold him as Flair yells in his face to smarten up, then kicks him down. As far as Flair turns on Sting go, this one wasn't too violent.

I'd be remiss if I didn't mention the WrestleWar '90 commercial that aired. The fact the rap starts "Hey homeboy" should tell you all you need to know. There seem to be several versions, but here's this one.

The M.O.D. Squad vs. Tom Zenk/Brian Pillman- Big ups to the faces for coming out to Def Leppard's "Rocket." Spike works Pillman's arm, but Pillman flips him and gets a near fall. Spike misses a charge, gets hiptossed and dropkicked. Zenk in, and works the arm. I thought this was part of the U.S. tag team title tournament, but apparently not. Basher gets the tagged, but gets immediately armdragged. Basher gets a shoulderblock, but Zenk monkey flips him. Pillman gets tagged, and chops down Basher. Pillman hits a one-legged dropkick, and Zenk gets an enziguiri. The M.O.D.s doubleteam Zenk, but Pillman gets a double clothesline off the middle of the top rope. Spike gets baaaack bodydropped and chopped, but he slams Pillman's face to the mat. Spike then does the same off the top, and they flapjack Pillman. Cornette made a joke about Pillman posing nude, but the photos came back underdeveloped. Ha! Basher chokes Pillman while Zenk distracts the ref. Basher clotheslines Flyin' Brian as J.R. has a coronary about what happened to Sting, as Cornette goads him on. It's just like J.R. and Lawler at Survivor Series '99, about Stone Cold. Basher chinlocks Pillman. Spike then does the same. I don't even know who the M.O.D. guys are. I think they floated around the NWA territories in the late-80s. Pillman with a flying elbow, but Basher cuts off his tag. Pillman gets two off of a crucifix. Spike slams Pillman, but misses an elbow. Both get their tags, and Zenk backdrops Basher and does a double noggin-knocker. Flying cross body by Zenk gets three has Pillman dropkicks Spike out. **. It was too long, but not offensive.

Cactus Jack vs. Mil Mascaras- Foley still has "Manson" as his last name. Ugh. And I prefer Mil Muertes. Mil grabs a headlock and takes him down. Drop toehold into a bow-and-arrow variation. I like Mil sucking his gut in when they aren't grappling. Test of strength, won by Mil, into a headscissors. Flying headbutt off the ropes, then Mil dropkicks Foley out. Jack goes after Capetta, then takes a pratfall over a chair. Mil puts him in a full nelson, but Cactus pounds out. Cactus does a drunken sell of Mil's punches, a la Shawn Michaels at Summerslam 2005. Liontamer on Foley, then he rams Mil's head to the turnbuckles. Jack toss Mil to the floor, and bodyslams him. Jack goes to the apronfor an elbow, but Mascaras dropkicks him, and Foley takes his Nestea Plunge bump. Sickening. Mil suplexes him in, and doesn't even drop with Foley for the bump. Mil gets a high-crossbody off the top for the pin. I remember Foley bitching about this match and Mil in his book, and I'd say it's accurate. Jack did everything here.

Missy Hyatt wants to make a date with YOU for NWA Main Event on Sunday.

The Tough Guys band performs, as Cactus covers his ears. They play the WCW theme, with vocals! J.T. Southern is the drummer, wearing his usual gear. The guitarist is at ringside taunting Jack, and Jack chases him away. Jack knocks "Wolf" (the drummer's) hat off, and the two roll around on the floor. I'm sad Van Hammer wasn't fake playing guitar.

Gordon Solie interviews Norman. Gordon has to explain "falls count anywhere" to Norman. I really hate dimwitted face wrestler characters. At least Bayley is only young at heart, and is clearly a woman in her 20s (yeah, I went there).

Falls count anywhere, Kevin Sullivan vs. Norman- They show a video of Norman at the zoo, talking to a hog he calls Kevin Sullivan. Hilarity. Norman passes out Valentines to kids at ringside, while Cornette calls him a child molester. Seriously. Sullivan attacks, and they head out. Sullivan gets rammed into the Roos post. Norman does the Trip to the Bat Cave to Sullivan off a sunset flip attempt! Norman eats boot on a charge, and Sullivan then gets slammed off the top. Norman goes to the second and also misses. Sullivan dropkicked Norman out, then bodyslams him on the floor. Sullivan chokes Norman and rips off his shirt. Runing knee to Norman. Cornette tells a bunch of lousy jokes about Norman as he gets worked over. Back in Sullivan punches Norman. Just brawl to the back already. I think Sullivan and Benoit immediately headed out of the arena at the penultimate Clash. Sullivan gets rammed into the rail and Norman gets 2. Sullivan gets 2 off of a backdrop. Gordon Solie takes over as they brawl to the back, and of course Sullivan goes into the women's room. Norman then goes after him, you hear banging noses and Sullivan walks out and flops on the floor. Nick Patrick comes out and confirms Norman's the winner. 1/2* Bore-man holds a toilet seat and is wrapped in toilet paper.

"Tuxedo" Terry Funk heels on the crowd and then introduces Lex Luger. The announcers are already speculating that if Sting bails out of the match, Luger gets it. Luger says Sting should be happy where he is at. He also says he and Flair aren't friends, but have a mutual respect. This promo is quickly forgotten in the aftermath of this show.

Skyscrapers vs. The Road Warriors- Teddy Long's new Skyscraper is "Mean" Mark Callous, playa. That also makes this a tag team match. Warriors double clothesline Callous out, then hit a Doomsday Device on Spivey. Callous comes off the top with a chair. Hawk pushes the ref aside, the Scrapers spike-piledrive Animal. Spivey clotheslined Ellering. Scrapers leave with the L.O.D. laid out. The Warriors by DQ.

Gordon Solie in the back. He can't get to Sting, who is in a blind rage and unsuitable for an interview. Pillamn said Sting has lost his mind. Takes one to know one, Loose Cannon!

World tag team titles vs. masks, Doom vs. The Steiners (c) - Scott starts with Simmons (I'm not even going to pretend). J.R. even said people say their identities are the worst-kept secret in wrestling. Simmons gets a headlock, then a football block. Scott leapfrogs then powerslams him. Simmons pounds on Scott in the corner, but Scott gets a belly-to-back suplex out of the corner. Reed comes in and poses, and draws Rick in. Reed pounds on Scott, who hits a shoulderblock and dropkick. Then Simmons gets d-kicked out. Scott flips Reed back in, and goes for the mask. Reed kneelifts Rick, but gets backdropped out of a corner. Rick then goes for the mask. Simmons pounds on Rick, misses a corner charge, then gets belly-to-bellied. Reed rams Scott into Simmons' boot, and Scott gets clotheslined hard by Reed after a Stun Gun. Simmons never tagged, but is in. Simmons legdrops Scott, and rams him into Reed's foot. Scott gets thrown out, and dropped on the railing by Reed. Spinbuster by the mysterious Doom 1, who then chokes Scott. Scott gets backdropped by both men, but Scott gets a backslide. Piledriver on Scott, but Rick breaks it up. Scott gets clotheslined out, and Simmons works him over and tosses him back in. Scott gets a sunset flip for two, but gets cut off before he can tag. Scott frankensteiner's Reed, and tags Rick. Atomic drop and Steinerline, and Rick powerslams Reed. Rick goes for the mask, and finally gets it while criss-crossing Reed. He pushes Reed into Simmons (while wearing it himself), and gets the pin. **3/4. Doom 1 then unmasks and reveals...Ron Simmons! What!?

Solie interviews the Three Horsemen. Flair is shaking his head, and says if Sting doesn't sign the release, after the match, they're gonna find him.

Cage match, Ric Flair/Ole Anderson/Arn Anderson vs. The Great Muta/Dragon Master/Buzz Sawyer- Gary Hart's men are the de facto faces, which is wild. I think the crowd had just been waiting to cheer Muta, though. Ole originally wasn't going to be in the match. I had thought the turn made the Horsemen short a man, but apparently not. I'm pretty sure the Dragon Master is Kendo Nagasaki. Arn starts with Sawyer, who bites his neck and chops him. Sawyer goes head-first into the cage. Spinkick by Sawyer on Anderson. Flair chops Sawyer, and Muta climbs over and stomps away on Arn horizontally. Flair and Sawyer chop each other, and Flair punches him down. Master gets kicks and chops from Flair. Ole comes in and pounds on Master, who rakes his eyes and pounds away. Andersons doubleteam the Master, and Muta gets a huge pop on a tag. Backspring elbow, then a leglock as Sting climbs the cage. Doug Dellinger and Wahoo McDaniel try to pull down Sting, and Pillman holds him back. Ole backdrops Sawyer into the cage, but Master gets the tag. Sting charges again, and I think that's when he hits his knee on the cage, severely injuring himself. The Steiners and Z-Man are also there now. Sawyer misses a splash from the top of the cage, as you can see Sting limping as he's held back. Arn spinbusters Master, Ole and Flair attack the other two, and Arn gets a DDT after ramming Master into the cage to win. *** That was a fun match which got overshadowed. Flair sprints out and jumps on the pile of guys, which probably didn't help Sting's situation at all. The two parties are separated as the show fades out.

This marks another show without a Sting match, but more importantly, this was a big setback in Sting's career. He was scheduled to be coorinated at Wrestle War, and instead that waited until the Great American Bash. WCW also did him no favor with his angles and challengers afterwards, much like his partner the Ultimate Warrior faced in the WWF. I personally loved seeing both guys as champions as a sixth-grader. This show isn't that great, but is somewhat historic.

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