From the Grudge Match: Ted Blanchard Reviews Clash IX: New York Knockout

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Live from the R.P.I. Fieldhouse in Troy, NY. Hosted by Jim Ross and Gordon Solie.

The Fabulous Freebirds (c) vs. The Road Warriors- The Birds are listed as champions, but this may have been a deal where they already had lost them to the Steiners. Hawk and Hayes lock up, and Hayes jumps out before Hawk can punch him. Animal throws him back in, however, and Garvin gets clotheslined. Hawk presses Hayes, and Animal gets a shot too. Hawk gets a flying tackle, but Hawk gets whipped into Garvin's knee. Hawk battles out and dropkicks Garvin. Warriors get back elbows on Garvin, who then suplexes Animal. He no-sells and clotheslines Garvin. Animal misses a shouldertackle but Hayes sells it, then Hawk comes in to work the arm. JR said the Steiners challenge the Birds this Saturday on TBS, so there you go. Animal misses a charge, and Hayes throws him outside. Birds doubleteam Animal, and Hawk tries to come in. The referee ushers him out while the Birds continue to work Animal over. Hawk shoves Tommy Young, and the Warriors are DQ'ed while Hawk runs wild on the Birds. 5:18, *1/4. Not much to it, but understandable if the title had already changed. 

JR interview Terry Funk and Gary Hart. Hart reminds Funk he's a Texan, and not to embarass Texas.

A very svelte and clean-shaven Bill Apter gives Sting the Most Popular Award from Pro Wrestling Illustrated. Flair is then named Wrestler of the Decade. I'm thinking this may be a tad rigged, at least for Flair's.

Eddie Gilbert/Tommy Rich vs. Doom- The faces work over the mysterious masked men early. Eddie works a headlock but gets sideslammed by Simmons. Suplex by Simmons, er, Doom 2. Press slam on Gilbert, and Reeds tags. Running knee to Gilbert's solar plexus. Swinging neckbreaker on Gilbert gets a near fall. Rich gets the tag, and hits a bionic elbow, and a blow downstairs. He then gets a backdrop. Gilbert squares off against Simmons, and Rich then eats a Doomsday Device to end it. 5:15, *1/2.

Jim Cornette does a live Louisville Slugger segment, with the Steiners. My friend and I love Rick's bit about the Frankensteiner here. They were watching "Frankenstein," and people were going "Eee!" So when Rick would see guys in the ring, they'd also be going "Eee!" So he came up with the name Frankensteiner. Scott said their mother said to never hit a lady... but Woman is no lady. Rick said maybe he'd have their mom slap Woman around.

Dynamic Dudes vs. the Midnight Express- They were basically fighter over Cornette. Douglas armdrags Bobby after a criss-cross. Lane gets tagged but gets hiptossed, and he dropkicks Eaton. Lane gets a drop toehold, but Douglas grabs an armbar. Lane denies a hair pull, and gets drop toehold-ed again. Cornette then tells the ref Lane pulled hair. Ace in against Lane, who misses an enzuiguri. Ace dropkicks Lane twice, and slams him. Eaton in, and gets dropkicked twice, then baseball slid out of the ring. Douglas hits a tope on Eaton outside. Lane gets a back suplex, but gets armdragged by Douglas. Eaton starts cheap-shot punching Douglas, to the crowd's delight. Douglas reversed a superplex, rolled up Eaton, jumped up and got a body press for two. Lane in, but Douglas tags Johnny. Eaton pounds away. Lane gets a Russian Legsweep. Rocket Launcher hits knees. Douglas in whips Eaton, backdrop. Samoan drop. Eaton has a chain, but gets backdropped. Cornette gets the chain, tells Douglas to get Eaton, then waffles Douglas and Eaton pins him. 9:22, ***. I love that doublecross.

Steve Williams vs. Super Destroyer- Everyone's favorite drug smuggler is back! This makes eight (or nine) Clash matches. Norman (dressed like Santa) comes out as Destroyer attacks Doc. Clothesline, but Williams tackles him. Destroyer tosses him over the top, but Doc punches then press-slams him. Doc clotheslines him to the announce table. Doc gets him up and hits the Oklahoma Stampede. Refreshingly short. 1:41, *3/4. Norman gives Doc a present.

Skyscrapers vs. the Steiners- Rick came in through the crowd, giving out popcorn. I believe this is where Sid suffers a collapsed lung. Rick also put Teddy Long's hat on. Long will have the last laugh, when he brings in...The Undertaker! Spivey pounds on Rick, but gets German suplexed and clotheslined out. Spivey then tombstones Rick, obviously in more foreshadowing. Spivey eats an elbow and then a Steinerline. Scott in, and immediately he hits a Frankensteiner and Spivey and a fallaway slam on Sid. The Scrapers regroup outside. Scott works Sid's arm, and Sid misses a charge. Spivey dropkicks Scott but kind of whiffs, but Sid clotheslines Scott. Spivey hits a tilt-a-whirl slam, then a big boot. I swear I heard someone say "Hulk Hogan" there. Scott suplexes Spivey, and tags Rick. He Steinerlines Spivey, Doom runs in but Scott immediately Frankensteiners one of them, and Scott gets worked over outside. Woman hits Rick with something that he no-sells, but then Nitron debuts as her bodyguard. Finally, the Road Warriors hit the ring to even the odds. 6:08, **. I think Sid got hurt in the brawl here.

The Warriors and Steiners get interviewed. They go to commercial with Animal screaming about whatever.

U.S. championship, Lex Luger (c) vs. Brian Pillman- They battle over a lockup until Luger knees him in the gut and pounds away. Shoulderblock, and Pillman gets two dropkicks. Luger heads out to recuperate, as I think I saw Roger Daltrey in the crowd.

Luger powers Pillman to the corner, and takes some cheap shots. Pillman leaps over him in the corner, and Luger bails again. Luger keeps hammering on Pillman in the corner, but Pillman flips over Luger, flies to the apron, but comes back in with a karate kick, according to JR. Luger runs into boot on a charge, and Pillman dropkicks him off of the top for 2.5. Pillman chops Luger in the corner, and snaps his arm on the top rope and corner post. He then smashes Luger's arm on the guardrail. Luger whips him into the buckles, and gets a back suplex. Press slam, and a second time he drops Pillman like the Ultimate Warrior would. Luger drops a couple of elbows, but Pillman fights back. Luger dumps him to the floor, and slams him. Luger suplexes him back in for 2.8. Pillman gets a quick rollup, but then gets powerslammed. Pillman gets another cradle as Luger does his pose, trying to get his special. They chop away at each other, and Pillman ducks twice before getting a clothesline. Baaaack bodydrop, and Pillman gets a flying bodypress that knocks out the ref. Pillman could have pinned Luger twice if not for that. Luger grabs a chair, and whallops Pillman for the pin.12:38,  ***. I want to say their Halloween Havoc match was better, but I haven't seen it in many moons. Sting comes to Pillman's aid while he's in the Torture Rack. Luger leaves but Sting chases him and gets a shot in. 

“I Quit” match, Ric Flair vs. Terry Funk- the title is not on the line here. Flair chops Funk right out of the ring. Funk takes swings at ringside fans. Flair punches and chops Funk, and he goes out and tries to attack an Asian photographer. Flair follows him to lay in the beats. Flair single-legs him, then chokes Funk. Outside again, Funk rams Flair’s head to the railing. Funk gets the mike and hits Flair with it. Funk pounds Flair in the corner, but the Nature Boy atomic drops out of it. Funk rolls out, Flair follows. Funk meets many fans as he gets rammed into the railing. Funk gets him in piledriver position back inside, and hits it. Gordon Solie drops his famous “Five letters, two words; I quit.” Funk tries a piledriver outside, and hits it. Funk slams Flair on the table, and props up a thicker wooden one. Flair then sets it up, jumps on Funk outta nowhere, then slides Funk acrros the table in a famous spot. Funk slides out and Flair softens up his knee on the ropes. Naitch punches and chops Funk, and stomps on the leg. Flair suplexes him back in. Funk punches him to block the figure four. Flair suplexes Funk on the apron, and rams his knee to the apron.Flair locks in the figure four. Funk flips Tommy Young over them, but eventually says "Yes I quit." 18:33, ***1/2. Funk then shook Flair's hand, Gary Hart punched him, and then Muta and the Dragon Master attacked Flair. Sting then comes to the rescue. Sting puts the Master in the Scorpion, and Flair figure-fours Muta. Luger then comes out with a chair, whacks Sting, and the heels lay out the faces. Luger also smashes their Pro Wrestling Illustrated trophies Sting and Flair were awarded earlier.

The main event is a classic in my book, and I liked the Luger-Pillman and Skyscrapers-Steiners segments. Easy recommendation.