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The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant–05.28.12

The SmarK RAW Supershow Rant – 05.28.12

So 16 years ago today, Scott Hall debuted in WCW and kicked off the New World Order. Man, don’t we all feel old now.

Live from New Orleans, LA

Your hosts are Michael Cole & Jerry Lawler

Corporate Big Show joins us to start, as Michael Cole notes that many people called his turn “one of the darkest days in WWE history.” I dunno, I’d say that Owen Hart dying in the ring or Chris Benoit murdering his family were pretty dark, but I suppose Big Show turning for the 16th time was pretty bad. I’d say you could order it 1, 2, 3. Maybe one of the wrestlers dying of painkiller addictions at number 4. So we’ll say Owen Hart first, Chris Benoit second, Big Show joining with Johnny Ace third, and Eddie Guerrero’s heart exploding fourth. Oh, hell, let’s just go ahead and move Big Show up to #2. So anyway, Show is now full on heel, talking about how no one is in his league and he’s a giant and not an entertainer. And it pisses him off that Brodus Clay was dancing mere MINUTES after he was begging for his job. They should have stopped the show! Or least that’s what I wished would have happened. Show is also angry at John Cena for being a huge clown instead of standing up for his friend. I appreciate them trying to tie together all the ridiculous plot elements here, actually. So yeah, Show is gonna knock Cena out at the PPV.

Santino Marella v. Alberto Del Rio

Del Rio attacks, but Santino quickly evades and gets the Cobra out, only to fall victim to the armbar at 0:48. What is the point of squashing your US champion in less than a minute like that? Del Rio’s got no interest in the title, and if they need a jobber there’s tons of them on NXT.

Meanwhile, Big Show takes out his bad mood on Alex Riley.

WWE tag titles: Kofi Kingston & R-Truth v. Jack Swagger & Dolph Ziggler

The champs double-team Swagger in the corner and Truth gets two. The champs clean house and we take a break. Back with Kofi playing face-in-peril, but he quickly the hot tag to Truth, who goes wild on Swagger with a rollup for two. Kofi with a high cross on Ziggler, but Swagger rolls up Truth for two. Truth with the downward spiral to retain at 5:50. Dolph, tired of losing all the time, walks out on the team afterwards. Smart man. Fun little match. **

Meanwhile, Brodus Clay saves Santino from a Big Show beating, and that gives him a match with Big Show later tonight.

Big Johnny, with scooter and entourage of flunkies, is out for some announcements. Big Show v. John Cena is now a steel cage match, and he’s the most popular WWE superstar in history. Apparently he’s on the cover of WWE ’13, and has the poster to prove it. It’ll be bigger than Pac-Man! Sadly, CM Punk interrupts his celebration and unveils the actual cover, featuring him.

CM Punk v. Daniel Bryan

So this is now a match for Bryan to “perhaps put himself back in contention” for the title. Wasn’t that match already announced for the PPV in some form? They trade wristlock reversals and Punk gets an atomic drop and drops knees on Bryan for two. He goes to a bow-and-arrow, but Bryan falls on top for two. They fight for a bridge and Punk gets a backbreaker for two. Bryan takes over on the arm and dumps Punk, but misses a baseball slide and Punk gets the springboard crossbody to the floor. AJ joins us at ringside as we take a break. Back with Punk missing a bodypress, as Bryan goes back to the arm. That goes on for a while, but Punk makes the comeback with kicks and a neckbreaker for two. Punk with the knee into the corner into a rollup for two. Springboard clothesline gets two. Punk goes up for the elbow, but Bryan brings him down with the superplex for two. Bryan removes a turnbuckle as AJ distracts the ref, but Punk gets a high kick for two. He charges, however, and Bryan hotshots him onto the EXPOSED STEEL for the pin at 16:29. Good TV match, albeit a bit slow around the break, but the finish was pretty flat. ***1/4 And that brings out Kane for another destruction of both guys, but Punk chases him off with a chair. Why do we need Kane in this feud?

Christian v. The Miz

Christian gets a sunset flip, but Miz rolls out and kicks him down for two. Corner clothesline and Miz hits the chinlock, and a neckbreaker gets two. Back to the chinlock, but Christian comes back with a missile dropkick for two and sets up for the spear, but Miz boots him down for two. Christian goes up with a back elbow, but gets distracted by Cody Rhodes, and Miz rolls him up for two. Christian finishes with the Killswitch and frog splash at 4:10. Sucks to be Miz. **

Meanwhile, Big Johnny chews out his flunkies, because he might retire in 10 or 20 years and he needs people he can COUNT on!

The Miz is still bitching in the ring, but Randy Orton comes out and gives him the RKO. Back in the territory days, this would be the point when you’d leave for somewhere else to freshen up the character, because obviously Orton has got nothing going on. Miz would probably go somewhere else under a mask at this point.

Sheamus v. David Otunga

Otunga gets a cheapshot on the apron to take control and gets a shoulderblock for two. Once again he stops to pose, and Sheamus destroys him with the White Noise and brogue kick at 2:42. Just a squash.

Brodus Clay v. Big Show

I want to also point out that having Clay introduce his own valets is really stupid. So suddenly they’re playing up Clay’s 22-0 record after never mentioning it, so he’s jobbing here. Nope, instead it’s no match, as Show Tells It Like It Is and talks about what a talentless clown Clay is turning into, then spears him on the floor and beats the hell out of him. And Kofi & Truth try to save, so Show beats the hell out of them, too. I normally approve of this sort of thing, but I just have no interest in seeing Big Show getting the push.

The Pulse

Not a terrible outing, but as noted it’s just building to a match that I have zero interest in seeing in any form. And it’s a match that we’re getting for the next few months, I’d bet.

UFC was a hell of a show on Saturday, though. I’d recommend ordering the replay instead of watching this.

Comments

  1. Such a weird show to judge because technically it was all good but as I said the live thread, I have no interest seeing Big Show play this role.

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  2. I already deleted the show from my DVR, but I could have sworn that, when Ace was chewing out his flunkies (and delivering the line about retiring in 10-20 years), you could hear Vince laughing his ass off in the background.

    Not being facetious, but there definitely seemed to be a loud, gravelly laugh coming from off-camera.

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  3. On the basis of "would they stop the show over this", the only event that qualifies for darkest moment in WWE history is the Benoit Murders.

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  4. I'll repeat what I said in the RAW thread: Big Show as the focal point of the show in 2012? Pass. I don't care if he's been a loyal guy or worked hard. He's not a main event guy and nobody is going to buy him as such. And when you spend seven years establishing that nobody is on John Cena's level, this is the end result.

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  5. To be fair, everybody said the same thing about Mark Henry a year ago.

    Not that I ever jumped on the Henry bandwagon, but a good chunk of this board did.

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  6. How do you not get on the Mark Henry bandwagon?

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  7. I don't get the Miz thing. It can be debated whether or not he deserved to be WWE Champion, but they gave it to him, pushed him fairly strong, actually had him main event Wrestlemania, and now they're just burying him. Not that I really care how it all turns out for the Miz but it's just weird to see them turn on him like that.

    I know I'm the minority on this one, but I like Orton so much more than I like Sheamus. I guess they're going to be going for a face/face match up with them? Because apparently even if they didn't like each other as heels, and didn't like each other when Orton became a face, they like each other now. Same as the Big Show. Did he say Cena was his friend? Because he threw him through a spotlight a couple of years ago and has feuded with him at least twice before.

     

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  8. What upsets me is that CM Punk (The WWE Champion)/DB feud is just mere midcard fodder! Seriously if Punk can't manage to headline one PPV let alone an episode of RAW ahead of the BIG SHOW/Cena BS then I might as well quit watching... though expect me to post a similar message in a years time when we get Show/Cena part 32536. 

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  9. Henry became an interesting character first, and wasn't completely overexposed the way Show has been. But, it is still a fair point.

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  10. I'll give Big Show this, his matches dating all the way back to last year when Henry put him out have been generally good. It's just that this is sooooo lazy. It's obvious WWE wants a monster heel in this role but they turned Clay into a dinosaur, Henry got hurt, Tensai bombed(insert Pearl Harbor joke), Brock is on limited dates, they just did Kane/Cena, and they haven't developed any new monster heels since Clay first came up with Del Rio.

     So I can't blame them turning to Big Show, but I can blame them for not thinking outside the box. What about turning Kofi? Debuting Ambrose? Elevating Ziggler? Anything besides monster Big Show for the upteenth time would have been more interesting. And maybe it doesn't work but I'll always give WWE points for trying something new.

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  11. I enjoyed the show.  Then again, I'm also enjoying the lecture on cuneiform that I found on netflix, so just bear in mind that I'm a very boring person.

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  12. I'm far from Miz's biggest fan but it is ridiculous how petty WWE can be. Dude has a bad week and then they use the next 6 months of valuable tv and ppv time fucking him over because they can. And no one will call them on their bullshit because there is no viable alternative. 

    It's going to keep happening to him and other guys until one of them tells them to fuck off and goes to TNA and becomes a bigger star for it(long shot I know).

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  13. Was Cena even there?

    Also, why are they not giving Bryan Danials microphone time in this feud? Especially since they've got AJ with the crazy stalker eyes stalking both men?

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  14. Yes, let us give Show the MONSTER push, complete with beatdown on three men, one of whom is undefeated and the other two of whom are tag team champions, while we job out Brock Lesnar and then pay him $5 million to sit at home in between jobs (I refuse to believe he has a prayer against Hunter, but would be more than glad to be wrong).

    You know, because Cena vs. Show totally drew money the last seven times they did it.

    I swear, if I could release two guys on the entire fucking roster, it'd be Kane and the Big Show. Both wonderful, nice guys, total company men. And stale to the point that I struggle to give a quarter-shit about anything they do. I don't know that there are two staler wrestlers in the business than those two, in the sense that every single angle you put them in, even if it's a new feud, immediately feels like a stale retread.

    It really is time to take those guys out behind the woodshed and let someone else move up the card. There's literally not one single thing either of them could do that would hold even the remotest interest, outside of taking a hot dump in the middle of the ring, and that's solely to be able to hear the following day's Observer Radio about the thought process behind doing it.

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  15. Kane is needed in this feud for two reasons.

    1) Neither man weighs more than 220lbs, so CLEARLY Punk and Bryan are not draws themselves.

    2) Tori, Katie Vick, Lita, Zach Ryder...no man's girlfriend is safe when Kane is around.

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  16. I just find it especially sad because by the time he defends at the PPV, Punk will have either tied, or just surpassed HHH's reign length from 2008, and will thus have been the longest reigning champion since Cena's 2006-07 run. That is a BIG achievement, but comes across as meaning nothing because they won't let him shine in the main event.

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  17. Agreed on this. Cultstatus! Rolling with the awesome posts!

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  18. "Corporate Big Show joins us to start, as Michael Cole notes that many people called his turn “one of the darkest days in WWE history.” I dunno, I’d say that Owen Hart dying in the ring or Chris Benoit murdering his family were pretty dark, but I suppose Big Show turning for the 16th time was pretty bad. I’d say you could order it 1, 2, 3. Maybe one of the wrestlers dying of painkiller addictions at number 4. So we’ll say Owen Hart first, Chris Benoit second, Big Show joining with Johnny Ace third, and Eddie Guerrero’s heart exploding fourth. Oh, hell, let’s just go ahead and move Big Show up to #2."

    Scott, this is one of the funniest things you have written. It approaches the brilliance of your review of Jericho vs Rock at RR 2002. Just awesome!

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  19.  Upside: Goth A.J. could be this generation's Daffney.

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  20. Well, to be fair, it seemed like a ridiculous notion at the time, but they'd never really tried Henry before, in the sense that they'd never built an entire program around him or gave him the title, so even though I wasn't happy about it when the push started, at least it didn't feel stale, even though they'd done "monster Henry" before, although nowhere near that level.

    But Big Show as a main event heel? And programmed against John Cena? AGAIN? (They fought at the June PPV no less than three years ago, FFS, off of a one-on-one feud that had its seminal match at the previous PPV).

    And Kane in a main event program, mucking up the sensational chemistry of Punk/Bryan?

    Just...no. No to all of it.

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  21.  I agree. Instead of Show vs. Cena if your gonna go with matches we have seen a bunch, why not go with Cena vs. Orton. People might pay to see it, and itll be a good match.

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  22. That should be a big deal, so expect WWE not to mention it. 

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  23. That's like praising Gillberg for the length of his Cruiserweight Title reign.

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  24. Yeah, it's amazing what true and pure anger can jar loose from the brain.  

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  25. But you'd have to turn Orton and the WWE won't, because they are obsessed with Orton being the squeaky clean PG perversion of Stone Cold Steve Austin.

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  26. Just you watch, Scott.  A few months from now, you'll be swinging from The Big Jock like he's Mark Henry.

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  27. I liked the show just for character development.  Ziggler maybe moving up on the card?  Clay finally doing something new?  Even though Miz is obviously just replacing Jericho's spot on the PPV at least it's a little something new for him (and telegraphs a punt onto a movie set for a couple months).

    I'm looking forward to see next week's show just to see where these characters are going.

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  28. A.J. could masquerade as a farm animal and make it work.

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  29. According to some interview, Randy Orton can't do the punt any more.  It's been banned like piledrivers for some reason.

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  30. Boy did AJ look super hot in her CM Punk shirt... whenever a Diva does a heel turn or goes crazy they become infinitely hotter. 

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  31. Yeah, but we had never really seen a pissed off Mark Henry.  Maybe kind of peeved Mark Henry, but not Hall of Pain Mark Henry.

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  32. The fact that there's a possibility that AJ might end up with Kane saddens me, not because of storyline purpose, but because he gets much hotter tail than I do!

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  33. I only watched bits and pieces of this show and when I mean bits and pieces, I mean Punk/Bryan(no surprise, it was a good match) and the end where Big Show went apeshit(where was this Big Show in 2002). 

    But as much as it's bothering everyone, it's not really bothering me that much that Kane is being inserted into the Punk/Bryan/AJ triangle. 

    Over/Under as to when Big Show turns back face: 4 months 

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  34. They're going crazy now about banning anything that could be concussion-related, that's the reason.

    The recent ban on head kicks guarantees two things: Davey Richards will never get a job with WWE and CM Punk will start using the Anaconda Vise a lot more and the GTS a lot less.

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  35. Given how bad this show has become lately, we should ask every week which is worse: The latest episode of RAW or Birdemic: Shock And Terror?

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  36. Hey, if you think it's bad now you ain't seen nothing yet.  Just wait till this little slice of paradise goes to three hours!

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  37. I kinda dig this "bully" Big Show character.  It's the most refreshing he's been in a while, but I would've preferred him to get his new contract, deck Ace, and be more of a rogue that destroys the roster for a while and THEN faces Cena.  Of course, the WWE didn't go that route, but I think this ends up with Show getting beat and they do the Heenan-Andrew deal post-match whereby Show gets mad, decks Ace, turns face and jobs to Del Rio in 5 seconds on the next Raw.  I wouldn't be surprised if they did this as early as No Way Out.

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  38. I would've thought they'd go after the hanging DDT before the punt.  I wouldn't think the punt would be any worse to take than the DDT.

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  39. I think you're right about that, Logan.
    I have a feeling the three-hour RAWs will be so bad that the infamous 1997 "nWo Nitro" will look like Money In The Bank 2011 by comparison.

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  40. I disagree.  Orton doesn't need a turn since he's basically a tweener and even if you tried, he'd just get cheered more.  At least with Orton you don't have some dumb smiles like Cena or what Sheamus is sporting now, but some of his pre-RKO action does get ridiculous at times.

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  41. So is Tensai done and will get a repackage in a couple of months?  He was AWOL this evening.

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  42. "What is the point of squashing your US champion in less than a minute
    like that? Del Rio’s got no interest in the title, and if they need a
    jobber there’s tons of them on NXT."

    I just ASSUME, that the WWE logic is: we want Del Rio to beat someone who is over to make because too little people care about the NXT guys. in reality the problem of course is that with each time they let their over midcard guys, even those who are champions, do those quick jobs, those losses still get less and less meaningful (and in that progress, do nothing for anyone).

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  43. I think Cena vs. Orton would be even worse!

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  44. Thanks to reading reviews, I was able to skip all but the Punk/Bryan match (which I had at more like ***3/4), so from my perspective it was an excellent show filled with great wrestling and storyline development. I even stopped watching before Kane interfered so I get to pretend that didn't happen. Yay me.

    Scott, do you think you could review the Punk/Bryan PPV match? It really is worth your time. 

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  45. Yeah, like that time when Kharma had a meltdown in the middle of ring.  HAWT!!

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  46. Big Show has always been MUCH more interesting as a heel than as a face.

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  47. Trick question.  Birdemic: Shock and Terror is entertaining, RAW is not.

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  48. Big Show is not Mark Henry. Henry had not been in the main event level before. It was a gradual build and he turned out to have a knack for his character.

    Just because they're trying to rehab Show ala Henry doesn't mean the results will be the same. Henry has *it* when it comes to his character. Show has never had it.

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  49.  Assuming with the E is pointless. I truly, and I'm not kidding, I truly assumed they had a big plan for Zack Ryder, and that there'd be an awesome outcome to him constantly getting the shit kicked out of him.

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  50. Cena beat Big Show, Tensai, and John Laurinitis in a 3 on 1 match after the show went off of the air.

    I know that sounds like some exaggeration I would make to make fun of Cena, so let me be clear: that actually happened.

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  51.  I don't get it. The punt is SO easy to fake. You put up your arms, and Randy can make it look like he's punting for the stars, and not even come close.

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  52.  I want the WWE to hire this generation's Daffney.

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  53.  Uh, stale? In case you didn't see, Kane has a NEW MASK on!

    Or were you the foolish type who didn't dig Malibu Stacy and her new hat?

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  54.  I don't know. I'd like to see a high-flying heel. Like when AJ Styles was at his best, as a heel. Because then he can brag about how no one can do what he can.

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  55.  I very much dislike the Miz. He couldn't have a great match if he had DB wrestling for him.

    However, pushed him strong? He got a sucker win for the title, then feuded with a retired wrestler/announcer for a while, in which he often barely won, and then was 2nd bananna to The Rock in his feud with Cena, at which point he needed The Rock to help him win at WM.

    The Miz, I dub him Ronnie Garvin The 2nd.

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  56. unfortunately I think that, too. otherwise they wouldn't have put him an angle with pretty much the biggest guest star to appear on Raw in years (Hugh Jackman).

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  57. Hey wrestled with Cena after RAW went off the air.

    I don't think that Cena is being repackaged, either.

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  58.  The guy also said they looked at Ryder as an "under dog". Well, yes, that's true. But it's not like Rudy went out there, got the shit kicked out of him, and that was it. It's not like Rocky got knocked out in the first 10 seconds of the first round.

    I mean, it was like a joke almost. What on Earth is gonna happen next week? Oh, Kane kills Ryder's father, then forces Ryder to make out with Big Dick Johnson, and then a judge decrees that Ryder become Kane's butler.

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  59. I'm pretty sure it's the appearance that it gives concussions, not the actual results.

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  60. It's either the 18th or 20th time Big Show's turned, actually. (Depends on if you count him turning face when Hogan joined the nWo or not). I counted.

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  61. Yeah another Big Show turn is far from unusual. He's turned so many times that same as the last 10 turns...it means nothing.

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  62. What a dream crowd for Vince tonight: chanting for Cena, booing the hell out of the Big Show, and staying pretty quiet during the Punk / Bryan match

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  63. I agree. These Raws have been some of the worst I can recall. There is so little from these shows to enjoy. The Punk-Bryan stuff is the only thing worth checking out.

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  64. Big Show as a heel does make a lot more sense. Whenever he plays a face he comes across like a big doofus.

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  65. I caught more of Raw than usual due to the Celtics having no chance last night. It's like they give a little good -- Bryan/Punk/AJ -- and then take it away with Kane.

    And the whole show had this overall stench on it coming from the Big Show feud. Imagine if they put all this effort into Ziggler as a #1 heel.

    Also, did I hear right that the next PPV is on Father's Day?? Who the hell thought that was a good idea?

    "Dad, can I watch Big Show vs. Cena part 34 for $64.99?"
    "Go away."

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  66. I think you're right. But what don't they do in wrestling that couldn't cause a concussion? No DDTs, piledrivers, punts, I mean a punch to the head can cause a concussion. What about being slammed on the mat and your heading hit the mat as well. I guess all physical contact should be banned since any of it could cause a concussion. Then it'll just be all talk. A true soap opera just like Vince wants. There won't be anymore wrestling.

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  67. i expect for them to drop the title to Kane.

    No way Bryan holds the WWE title.

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  68. Except for the tag team title match and Punk vs. Bryan, I was watching Aladdin on ABC Family last night while Raw was on.

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  69. Eh, Lisa Lionheart was overrated. If Smithers has a gigantic Malibu Stacy collection thats good enough for me. 

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  70. The C's had a shot if either Pierce or Allen had showed up. They're gonna steal a game in Miami.

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  71. Let it play out and see where it goes...

    (I like how I can just copy and paste that now.)

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  72. I'm sure I am not the first to mention this but why is Ric Flair embarassing himself in TNA when he could be managing Ziggler or Bryan?

    Count me among the few that has no problem with adding Kane and AJ to the Punk/Bryan storyline. You  

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  73. I want to have sexual relations with this generation's Daffney.

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  74.  Yeah, why have two of the more natural talkers talking trash on each other after a Match of the Year candidate when we can have stilted acting or 15 minute Big Show speeches instead? 

    I don't know if I'm in the minority here, but Bryan is awesome in the jerk/heel role and has absolutely killed it whether he gets 5 minutes or 30 seconds to speak.  I think he may be the most underutilized guy on the mic.  And we already know how good CM Punk is.  Now, throw in this AJ angle... this could be an angle that could carry the show.  Instead, they play second fiddle to Cena and put Kane in the match.

    If Kane somehow wins the match, I will light myself on fire or stop watching.

    Since 1995, both Kane and Big Show have been collecting paychecks from big companies.  They've each had their own movie.  They've each held almost all of the titles possible to hold.  SOOOOOOO...do they need to have matches at every PPV?  No.  Do people want to see them at every PPV?  No. 

    Then why does WWE think we want to see them all of the time?

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  75.  I just posted a reply to a previous post and went off on a tangent about the same thing.  I totally agree with you on Kane and Big Show.  They've been making big money for 17 years, each had their own movie, each won every single title, etc... I don't want to see them anymore.

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  76. That South Park parody may turn out to be frighteningly prescient.

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  77. Oh Christ, I laughed my head off at Scott's ranking of the darkest days in WWE history.  Then felt kinda bad about it.  I'd say Owen's still #1, though, since that happened in '99, a year during which I believe Show was required to turn from Face-Heel and back again three times each day. Since Over the Edge 99 saw both a Big Show Heel turn and the in-ring death of a beloved superstar, it still stands as the darkest day in WWE history.  

    At any rate, the wonderful Justin Henry once wrote a great article about how to ride this out:  http://www.wrestlecrap.com/headlies012111.html

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  78.  Amen. I know Trish Stratus is often thought as the hottest wrestling chick ever, but I believe it to be Daffney.

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  79. Yeah, they had Capitol Punishment on Father's Day last year and look how well that turned out!

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  80.  He'd still find a way to embarrass himself managing Dolph Ziggler. Running up a bar tab to get Ziggler loaded because that's what great champions do, and then needing Jack Swagger to pay the bill for him, for example.

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  81. Not really. Punk defends the title regularly. Gillberg went missing for like 9 months.

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  82. There's a "whole new world" joke to made about WWE here, but it's not coming to me right now.

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  83. He'd also find a way to get busted open while distracting the referee.

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  84. Anyone else annoyed to see R Truth & Kingston so devoid of any character? Especially considering R Truth was really coming into his own not that long ago. They've turned into the ultra bland smiley faces who keep patting each other on the back and happily pointing out their fans in the audience. Cringe!

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  85. I did not watch this television program last night as I found Hatfields &McCoys 10x more interesting than Raw. Anyone else watching this miniseries?  And I guess Kane is involved with Bryan and Punk because they need a HOSS in that feud and can't have two smaller guys put on a mat classic.

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  86. Yeah, I noticed that about the Punk/Bryan match. What a sharp contrast between that crowd and the one in the PPV.

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  87. What's not to love about cuneiform?!?  Ancient history rules!

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  88. Agree. When Trish turned on Jericho in WM, she instantly looked hotter. Dunno why.

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  89.  When has a turn ever "meant" something? Did Savages turn in 89 or so meant something? No.

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  90. But Henry HAD been in the main-event scene before, feuding with Batista and Angle over the World Heavyweight Championship. He was also the "WWECW" champ for a while, which, while not exactly on the level of Raw/SD, still meant that they were looking to him to carry their new project.

    As for having "it", granted, this is just one man's opinion, but it seems odd to say that a guy that hasn't been over for FIFTEEN YEARS would have "it".

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  91. Ehh, I agree that Kane and Show have never and will never work as bonafide, money-drawing main-eventers, but there's certainly plenty of use for them in the midcard. There's no reason that they shouldn't be putting over younger guys at this point (like, oh, I dunno, Zach Ryder and Cody Rhodes...), or just give them the tag-titles until a hot new act comes along in that division.

    Like you said, they're loyal, hard-working, model employees and seem like genuinely nice people; on top of that, they're both still popular, move merch, and are good ambassadors when it comes to making the talk-show rounds. There's no reason to keep them at the very top of the card, but there's certainly no reason to release them, either.

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  92. At least Kane getting involved was been handled logically. Daniel Bryan pulled some sneaky chickenshit heel stuff, then CM Punk got him back in smarmy face fashion. So now Kane is, understandably, pissed at both.

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  93. it took me 16 months to be right, but I'm still going to nod with a smirk anyway. I'm like a vindictive mother in law that way.

    ReplyDelete
  94.  I liked all of this show. Good use of the big men and the little men.

    ReplyDelete
  95. Juxtaposed to what we normally would have gotten:

    Daniel Bryan comes out and challenged CM Punk to a rematch. Kane comes out and says he should have the title shot. Johnny Ace comes out and says they'll have a match tonight on Raw to decide. They have a match, but CM Punk gets involved and its ruled a no contest. So now it's a three way at the PPV.

    So, you know, baby steps.

    ReplyDelete
  96. To be fair, if any of us were making as much money as Miz makes, we'd gladly make shitty DVD movies and do talk-shows (instead of rocking the boat), too.

    ReplyDelete
  97. WWE needs to hire Prince Nana as Kofi's manager and then they'd have something to work with.

    ReplyDelete
  98. It was so hilarious that I spit out my Mountain Dew Code Chartreuse all over my computer screen.

    ReplyDelete
  99. you might as well just light yourself on fire, because theres always a chance if you stop watching you'll eventually start again. it's not worth it, man.

    ReplyDelete
  100.  Luna Vachon circa 1999 please.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Henry, to me, is just like Show or Kane - a good mid- or upper-card guy that can occasionally be inserted into multi-man main-events, but not the type that should be the focal point of the shows.

    Plus, I just really didn't see this incredible improvement that everybody else did - he was pretty terrible for fifteen years, and then got slightly better in the ring. I'll definitely give him credit for the match at last year's "Money in the Bank", though, he and Show put on one of the best monster-vs-monster matches ever.

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  102. I do and so does the WWE's biggest part of the audience. You need big men and right now there is a shortage of serviceable big men in all of wrestling. Kane and Big Show actually have drawing power at the moment. Brodus, Big Zeke, other guys...not so much. The anger shouldn't be towards Kane and Show, but rather WWE's lack of building a new crop of viable big men to take their place.

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  103. i dont think anything can be worse than birdemic. i would highly suggest checking out the rifftrax version of that movie. makes it almost bearable.

    ReplyDelete
  104. You can always count on the WWE to remind us on Memorial Day that if you boo John Cena, you not only hate kids with cancer, you also hate our troops and want them all to die.  You probably cheered for Muhammad Hassan, too.

    ReplyDelete
  105. You do realize that the post-show dark match is usually just meant to send the fans home happy. It's not in the line of actual continuity. Do you?

    ReplyDelete
  106. Don't worry, it will soon be revealed that Daniel Bryan is actually the younger brother of Katie Vick.

    ReplyDelete
  107. The Love-Matic Grandpa!May 29, 2012 at 9:45 AM

    Even ignoring the "darkest day" bullshit, why were they acting like Big Show punching Cena in the face was the worse thing that ever happened in WWE history when he chokeslammed the guy through a freakin' spotlight a few years back?

    ReplyDelete
  108. Well as it turns out, they were right about Family Guy so maybe Matt and Trey were onto something when they did that wrestling episode.

    ReplyDelete
  109. It's not like life under the People Power regime is so horrible.  I mean, the HHH era culminated with a walkout, a vote of no confidence, and a Kevin Nash match on PPV in 2011, so by comparison this really isn't bad at all. 

    ReplyDelete
  110. Of course heel/face turns can "mean" something. Savage's turn in 89 mattered, it was part of a year long story involving Savage & Hogan's uneasy friendship. Big Show turns don't matter b/c they happen VERY frequently, usually don't really have anything to do with a larger story, and what you end up with is Show bouncing between heel monster & smiling fun loving babyface for the last 10 years.

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  111. This also has nothing on the McMahon-Helmsley era.  Those were some bleak days.

    ReplyDelete
  112. Here's a fun little game...how many different bullshit names of eras can you think of. Here we go off the top of my head...

    People Power (present day)
    The McMahon-Helmsly Regime
    The Age of Orton

    I vaguely remember Miz having something, probably along the lines of Miztory...but I know there are more & they're all abhorrent. Anyone else got any???

    ReplyDelete
  113. haha the platinum blonde locks turning crimson is always classic no matter how old and decrepit flair is.....

    ReplyDelete
  114. Why would you want a whole new world when you're already apart of the WWE Universe?

    ReplyDelete
  115. Southern_DiscomfortMay 29, 2012 at 10:26 AM

    Welcome to New Orleans WWE crowds. Seeing HIAC there last fall was so bizarre as someone from Chicago.

    Hopefully slightly better crowd at Smackdown tonight in Baton Rouge (which I will be attending) but I'm not getting my hopes up.

    ReplyDelete
  116. its time.. the wwe has to do it.. time to play the race card as an angle.. open up Raw with kofi and Truth in the ring.. have Kofi cut a promo about being held back because of his race.. talk about the lack of black world champions. talk about the crazy things black performers been through. etc Truth talking to imaginary people, Henry with Mae Young, simmons becoming a 1 word punch line.. they can say the wwe tried to appease them with worthless tag team "championships". booker t can join them on SD and bring up his wrestlemania moment with Triple h saying about "those people" being champs.. im sure there is more they can use, but its time for Kofi to turn heel and there is nothing wrong with a big time heel stable.. kofi, truth, young, titus, booker as the heel announcer(double turn with Cole)? henry when/if he recovers... Usos n JTG can be there as well

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  117. Agreed. The whole story is actually kind of compelling. AJ's involvement is awesome too. It was literally the only part of the show I felt I needed to watch tonight, other than Ziggler.

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  118. Yup...he and Miz were actually great together. Despite being fed to rock/cena that team was slowly becoming pretty cool. And R-Truth was KILLING it with his paranoia character. Now he's back to the fucking smiling babyface for no good reason. Such a waste.

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  119. Disagree vehemently.

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  120. Yup...I did the exact same thing. Took me about 30 minutes to get through the show on DVR.

    ReplyDelete
  121. By that logic, when has any wrestling storyline or match ever meant anything?

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  122. I can't get on board with an angle that involves coming out and saying everything is fake and that anyone is "given" a championship rather than winning it in a wrestling match, which is not acknowledged as a fake fight.

    ReplyDelete
  123.  Totally agree on Daffney. Something so hot about her.....

    ReplyDelete
  124. That's like the worst example possible.  Savage's heel turn created one of the hottest feuds in WWF history, bridged two Wrestlemanias together, and dictated the direction of Savage's character up until the end of the retirement match vs Warrior.

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  125. Well tweak it to blur the lines like its been done before.. "given worthless championship opportunities guys", then they can say they will be the team who makes the championships meaningful again.. 1 by 1.. Tag, IC, US....

    ReplyDelete
  126. The return of the Nation Of Domination? I'd love to see that!

    The problem is of course how the crowd could potentially react. Too controversial/racist chants? I don't think they'd have the balls to try an angle like that

    ReplyDelete
  127. Was it really? Man, youd think they learn. Buyrates are in the tank anyway, why give people more reason NOT to order? I mean, besides having Big Show/Cena as the main event.

    ReplyDelete
  128. Today's youngsters should be happy they didn't have to live through the "New Generation." There were no survivors.

    ReplyDelete
  129. It's definitely logical, by WWE standards. It's just stupid.

    I can't imagine there was one person outside of WWE headquarters who saw the Punk/Bryan/AJ feud and thought, "Needs more Kane."

    ReplyDelete
  130. So if I'm in the military, what does that make me?

    ReplyDelete
  131. Rifftrax (like Cinematic Titanic and MST3K before it) makes EVERYTHING better.

    ReplyDelete
  132. At least the others you mentioned are descriptive of something, "People Power" doesn't even fucking mean anything.

    ReplyDelete
  133. I don't think Henry having a brief run on the C-show as a champion or having in-between feuds with Batista and Angle really count as being on the main event level. I'm talking someone that was having important non-Cena feuds from April last year to January of this year. That was his first prolonged run at the top.

    And the repackaged Henry was awesome. 

    ReplyDelete
  134. Worst_in_the_WorldMay 29, 2012 at 12:13 PM

    I'd never be one to advocate "more Kane" in anything, as he and Big Show are the two guys I most want to move on to a retirement home (or a time-consuming wacky sitcom on the WWE Network). BUT, I'm not minding his involvement in the feud or the inevitable triple threat at NWO.
    To me, it's just a sign that they want to extend the Punk-Bryan feud so it culminates at Summerslam, and so introducing a third party in the early stages can get it there. Punk wins the triple threat by pinning Kane, Bryan gets a title shot at the July PPV (perhaps after beating Kane in a  #1 Contender match), Bryan wins the title via AJ-terference, and then either Punks wins the belt back at Summerslam or Bryan retains and remains a heel champ for awhile.
    So yeah, Kane sucks. Agreed. But I still think we're in for a lengthy Bryan-Punk feud with some great one on one PPV matches.

    ReplyDelete
  135. Exactly. And in terms of pure match quality, Punk has had an amazing reign: Ziggler, EC, Jericho, Bryan. Put those matches in the main events with better build and this would have been a legendary 6 months.

    ReplyDelete
  136. The "Age of Orton"? That was a thing?

    ReplyDelete
  137. If you were booing cena and shameus and you weren't enthralled with the big show and jonnuy ace angle they would probably say your a al queda sleeper agent

    ReplyDelete
  138. I was in that camp.  I apologize for being wrong and won't do it again.

    ReplyDelete
  139. During one of Orton's title reigns (I think during the one when he led Legacy) Randy would babble on and on about how this is the Age of Orton

    ReplyDelete
  140. Vince McMahon's "Ruthless Aggression" era 

    ReplyDelete
  141. Anyone think the character The Big Show has a multiple personality problem? He bounces between either being a fun loving, smiling good who laughs at his own farts, and a violent monster who wants to hurt people. No consistency between the too. Maybe he's ill?

    ReplyDelete
  142. Nonsense, we got great moments like Shawn stripping on the announce table while Sid grinned like a horny hyena.

    ReplyDelete
  143. The Barrett Barrage...still no idea what that's supposed to mean

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  144. Yeah, he's back to the R-Truth that he was before he turned on John Morrison, only this time he has an imaginary little kid following him around.

    ReplyDelete
  145. Scott, you got your wish. They put Brodus into the main event. Of course it was above the WWE and World title in a pointless segment with Big Show. But they moved him up the card like you wanted.

    Personally I would have to say Benoit murdering his family was a darker day for WWE than Owen. Benoit and all the media that came after it nearly brought down the company. Yes, Owen was tragic and it happened at a live event which didn't make the company look very good. But it was an accident and the WWE didn't really bat an eye. I actually think ratings went up after Owen. Sure, the lawsuit costed them money and wasn't the best press but even though Benoit technically didn't have anything to do with the WWE since it was a domestic situation, a lot of people blamed Vince and the WWE for playing a part in Benoit's madness. Not offering the wrestlers any health benefits or retirement plans, plus working in what any other sports would call extremely unsafe conditions, there is probably a lot of blame you could place on Vince and the WWE. I didn't watch anything WWE for almost 3 years after that. And I'm sure I'm not the only one.

    Regardless, both those situations were bad but of course they"re still second place to the new darkest day: Big Show punching John Cena.

    I really get the feeling that Kane getting inserted into the Punk/Bryan feud is coming directly from Vince. He has no faith that angles about wrestling will get over. Which of course makes no sense because if you watched Extreme Rules, that match was extremely over. Either that or he is trying to sabotage the angle on purpose because he doesn't WANT it to get over. Vince hates wrestling so much there has to be some stupid sports entertainment bullshit involved somehow or he's not satisfied.

    Also the fact that the WWE title is without question just a mid-card feud is so annoying it makes me wonder why I started watching this shit again. I can understand why Cena's match would be the true main event. I don't agree with it but I can see where they are coming from since they consider Cena the top name on the card. Fine, whatever. But when the WWE title is in the middle of the show and the main event is Big Show vs Brodus Clay. That's just beyond stupid.

    I wonder who's Cheerios Miz pooped in. Maybe he forgot to shake HHH's hand one day.

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  146. I remember when Bret Hart won the title for the first time Mean Gene was about to interview him & dubbed him "the most fighting WWF champion of all time," citing he had recently defeated Papa Shango, Virgil, and a few others. And that meant something to 9 year old me--it didn't matter that those weren't main event guys the point was that Bret was taking on everyone and winning, and that made him special.

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  147.  Yeah, that will never happen. That would mean Vince and the company would have to admit their own racism. Than they could never put two black guys in a tag team together just because they are black.

    Plus that's way too heavy of a subject matter for the WWE's kid friendly content. Besides who would be the heels? The black people who were held down and rightfully have a reason to be upset? Or the white people who make up 80% of the audience?

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  148. Actually this People Power era has been great for the people. Everyone champion is a face right now.

    ReplyDelete
  149. The Genesis of McGillicutty

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  150. is that a thing on NXT?

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  151. U make The Brotherhood heels by making them over delusional about the sublte hints of racism over the years.. Then have a superstar like the Rock stand up for the wwe and say it has nothing to do with being held back because of race.. So its not totally black against white

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  152. Just watched the show, I enjoyed it. Not a blowaway show or anything but good.

    I like what they've done with the Big Show turn, it's got some meat on its bones. I think people here have just seen the guy turn so many times, but I imagine the kids are into it.

    I'm glad they added Kane to the Bryan/Punk mix. We've seen these guys have plenty of 1 on 1 matches already, plus adding Kane helps stretch the Punk/Bryan stuff (or transition to Punk/Kane, which I hope doesn't happen). And I continue to be intrigued by the AJ stuff.

    I like that something is happening with Dolph/Vickie. He's definitely outgrown her, and as a Swagger mark I'd like to see him have her all to himself.

    Loved Brodus standing up to Show, and didn't mind him taking the ass kicking (for now). And loved the touch of referencing him being 22 for 22. Makes him seem like a big deal.

    I'm always a little sad when Bowtunga jobs, but at least the guy has a clearly defined character and gets decent screen time. I really hope they eventually make him a serious player. For now I'm enjoying the Big Johnny/Eve/Bowtunga regime.

    So yeah, definitely a bounce back show. No Cena and Tensai may have contributed to that.

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  153.  Quit putting words into Vince's mouth.

    Kane brings a good dynamic to the feud because he can eat a pin and the Bryan/Punk feud can continue.

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  154.  Why portray the people of color as the heels? That seems inherently more racist than anything else. The Nation of Domination were heels because they used violence to try and solve the problem of racism rather than discussions. Kofi and Truth definitely seem like talk first kind of people in their current characters so it would make sense to go down the MLK line rather than the media's version of what the Black Panthers were.

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  155.  Why? Seems pretty self explanatory.

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  156. I have to fundamentally disagree with the idea that the publicity from Benoit "nearly brought down the company".  Yes, they looked bad.  Maybe they lost some fans and some sponsors, but at no point did I ever think the company was going to be shut down.  If WWE could survive the steroid scandals of the early 90s then they could (and did) survive the Benoit situation. 

    The government and the public do not care if wrestlers in a fake sport kill themselves with steroids, pain pills, or recreational drugs ... because it's a stupid, fake sport.  And if that's what wrestlers have to do to make it/survive in that world, then tough on them.

    I'm convinced there's only one way WWE will ever be shut down: if a wrestler gets high or drunk, gets a gun, and pulls a Columbine (or something similar).  Anything short of that, and it's not gonna change a thing.

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  157. Sure, I agree that its unnecessary. But at least it makes sense.

    Again, let's compare it to Cena-Punk, white hot feud, but wait Nash sends a text message to himself, now the feud is Nash-HHH? Aroo?

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  158. I tend to agree. For the fans that want to enjoy wrestling we have Punk vs Bryan, and as I mentioned below I don't mind adding Kane for diversity and AJ for the soap opera part. For the kids and the fat marks in the front row we have Cena facing the big bad heels in Show and Johnny, (and lets be honest here we are ALL going to mark out a little when Johnny finayy gets his)

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  159. my fav big show moment has always been him clinging to his fathers caskett as the big bossman pulls it from the ground in a hurse.... I do believe this moment was post russo too. (correct me if im wrong please)

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  160. It's just pretty stupid. He's not the leader of a group, it's not a knickname--just blather that doesn't mean anything. But at least there's alliteration, which has been lacking in wrestling.

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  161. The people of color would be potrayed as heels because its the wwe.. N thats the only way Vince would have that angle played out

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  162.  Quit putting words in Vince's mouth.

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  163.  Barret vowed to have a lot of wins. It was called the Barret Barrage. Perfectly logical. I don't see your problem here.

    ReplyDelete
  164.  As haggered and beat down as Pierce is, I think he has a much better chance of making an impact in this series than Ray Allen. Ray is done but he'll probably have to play huge minutes w/ Avery Bradley's abscence (unfortunately).

    I really hope youre right and they steal one in Miami cause this series could be short if they are outplayed AND not getting anything from the refs (like game 1)

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  165.  Way too long of a name for an Era. The again, the McGillicutty name sucks ass anyway.

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  166. He didn't.

    Vince has gone on record multiple times saying he's not in the "wrestling business" but in the "entertainment business."

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  167. It was a brief moment... from that moment on... at this moment... right here... from the moment he said it... that led to the Genesis of McGillicutty.

    And next week the rain fell, the season with the next Breakout Diva started, and it was never brought up again.

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  168. I was starting to think that he's expecting a call up to Hollywood or something. He really overdid the nice guy act for me, smiling down the ramp and putting his hat on little kids. Then when he was crying for his job in the middle of the ring it felt like he was auditioning   for a movie or some shit

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  169.  Breaking news: Wrestling is entertainment.

    ReplyDelete
  170. The Winds of Change!

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  171. "I'm sure I am not the first to mention this but why is Ric Flair
    embarassing himself in TNA when he could be managing Ziggler or Bryan?"

    Well, there's this little thing called a "contract", see...

    ReplyDelete
  172. Um.....yes?  Your point being?

    ReplyDelete
  173. Orrrrrrr, it's actually just as problematic to portray them as unquestioned crusaders for truth, because you're still denying them rounded characters, and relegating them to symbols of righteous anger.

    It's a no win anyway you look at it.

    ReplyDelete
  174. There were chants for CM Punk, and definite reactions with the near falls.  Bryan's entrance was relatively quiet, but still something.  I was surprised by the Cena chants, but it's nice to hear people into the product, even if they aren't into the stuff I like.

    ReplyDelete
  175. Not according to Vince McMahon.

    See: the last match on the PPV.

    ReplyDelete
  176. Or the Rock siding with the Corporation.  Talk about a no-event.  Or when Stone Cold sided with McMahon at Wrestlemania X-7.  What an anti-climax THAT was.  Whoah nelly.

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  177. You just summed up my feelings on WWE in totality.

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  178.  Yeah, regardless if you like the Miz or not, the guy is actually over as a heel. Plus it makes the WWE title look even more worthless by having this guy that not only main evented at Wrestlemania but beat John Cena, losing ever single week.

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  179. Wow Joe I never knew about contracts. Thank you so much for making me smarter then I was yesterday!!!! (my point is why did he ever have to do to TNA in the first place? sheesh.

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  180. So, you're basically saying that decrying RACISM makes the wrestler a Heel?  WOW.

    ReplyDelete
  181. How about WCW's "Powers that Be" era where some wrestlers stupidly couldn't articulate the correct usage of the phrase, saying "Powers to be" instead? 

    ReplyDelete
  182. This! My 6 year lapse came to an end and miz was champion and I bought into it (meaning purchased wrestlemania).... The reason I biught into it was I left right when Cena first got on top and TITLES still meant something (somewhat), so I naturally thought Miz was going to be a player for years to come. One year later he's jobbing and a walking punchline.

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  183. Nope, im saying if they played that angle as faces instead of heels it wouldnt work.. As faces its real life issues.. As heels its just reality based which allows them to implement their soap opera storylines to it as well

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  184. I can see your point but you can't say that nothing has changed. The WWE is a much different place since 2007. And a lot of the things that have changed are directly as a result of the Benoit situation. 

    The Attitude era may have been coming to it's end in 07 but after Benoit, the WWE went full fledged into the "family friendly/kids mode". Chair shots to the head have been banned, any blood leads to a referee with rubber gloves stopping the match. The Wellness Program is actually a program that does something.  Shit, Daniel Bryan was fired in 2010 for choking someone with a tie because it looked too violent.

    The only reason CM Punk ever got a push is because Vince wanted a guy that didn't look like he did steroids getting some focus.

    Hey, I agree with you that even Benoit couldn't bring the WWE down. That company has a lot of lives. But you can't say it didn't change anything.

    Besides all I was really trying to say was that Benoit was a darker day than Owen.

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  185. When you realize how unsuccessful his title reign was and how much he leaves to be desired in the ring, then one shouldn't really wonder why Miz is job boy now.  Just because he was Champ before doesn't mean he must continue on that pedastool.  He has to earn his way back there but then again, I just don't think he has the talent to have ever been

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  186. Yeah I was a huge fan of the miz on the real world and on the rrrr challenges. I knew he made it to the wwe but I never even read smackdown recaps (when he was very early on) but I was randomly checking out raw when I saw him call out cena (making the same points punk went on to make) and marked out. When I found out he won the title and was main eventing wm 27 I started paying more attention. He was really good at that point. I get that punk and db and even Christain blew him away but they could have protected him a little bit, at least bury him like post wm18 jericho or something.

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  187. That angle is such a guilty pleasure of mine. Bossman ruled as the over the top cartoon heel. He was so great as complete piece of garbage. And show sold that shit perfect. I'm going to youtube now to watch the funeral segement

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  188. Why? I like Big Johnny. 

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  189. Also am I crazy or could kane actually give a bit of rub to those guys if they ultimately go over, especially Daniel bryan?

    ReplyDelete
  190. Haha I had to re check it out earlier too shit is so horrble its gold!

    ReplyDelete
  191. http://lonelyvirgil.tumblr.com/

    ReplyDelete
  192. You can have Miz, Swagger, and Ziggler do a "Hitler Youth" faction after they kick Vickie out and use the Big Show as their white skinhead enforcer.

    He could then justify beating the hell out of Kofi, R-Truth and Clay by saying they don't want "their kind" wrestling here with all that singing and dancing they do. It also means that John Cena is a sellout wannabe that should be eliminated.

    ReplyDelete
  193. http://lonelyvirgil.tumblr.com/
    Hey Scott, I think this blog is brilliant and needs more exposure. Can you pimp out this bitch? Besides, this might actually get people to line up for Virgil's autograph lol just kidding....

    ReplyDelete
  194. I also loved the angle where he fed Al his dog. Bossman 

    ReplyDelete
  195. I can absolutely agree that the Benoit tragedy changed things. 

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  196. And for the better in many respects. Though sometimes its awkward seeing guys avoid smacking someone in the head with a chair, that's much better that causing concussions.

    Also makes heavy violence all the more shocking when it becomes rarer. That Lesnar vs Cena is evidence of that.

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  197. although you must admit that Big Show is clearly one of the best on their roster when it comes to acting.

    ReplyDelete
  198. that was wishful thinking!

    ReplyDelete
  199.  Let's not forget about "Toothless Aggression"

    ReplyDelete

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