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The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact–06.28.12

The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact – 06.28.12

Live from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Mike Tenay & Taz

AJ Styles and Dixie talk about the big reveal to start, and AJ is still pissed at Daniels & Kazarian. He should be more upset with the agents, I think. And apparently the story MUST CONTINUE tonight. Oh dear.

BFG Series: Mr. Anderson v. Rob Van Dam

The TNA higher-ups have now decided that these matches will have a 15 minute time limit instead of 10, which I approve of. They do a quick pinfall attempt sequence and Anderson gives him a cheapshot instead of a handshake, and pounds him down for two. Suplex gets two, but RVD trips him into a rollup for two, and gets the bridged Indian deathlock. Anderson makes the ropes, which is a shame because he’s one person I’d love to see tap to such a lame move. Rob with an abdominal stretch into a rollup for two, and he holds a bodyscissors on the mat. Anderson escapes and comes back with a back elbow for two. RVD with a northern lights suplex for two. Rolling Thunder gets two. Moonsault hits knee and Anderson gets two. He goes for the Mic Check, but Rob escapes, so Anderson gets a neckbreaker for two. He grabs a sleeper, but Rob gets into the ropes to break and reverses a fireman’s carry into a crucifix pin at 6:00, for 7 points. Pretty action-packed for a 6 minute TV match. **3/4

Austin Aries comes out to formally vacate his X title, and he recaps the storyline thus far, but Bobby Roode interrupts. He accuses Aries of using Hulk Hogan to leapfrog the Bound For Glory Series, and he declares “Option C” to be a FAILURE. They have a disagreement over who the ring belongs to and who should make who leave, but Roode backs off.

Meanwhile, Dixie and the addict talk with Borash, while Daniels and Kazarian argue.

Sonjay Dutt v. Rubix

This is part of a mini-tournament to crown a new X champion. Rubix is a masked guy with puzzle pieces on his tights, which kind of screams “indy”. Weird to see Sonjay again. He sends Rubix to the floor and tries a dive, but Rubix heads back in to cut him off, and then hits his own. Back in, Rubix goes up and gets caught with a dropkick coming down. Dutt with a guillotine and springboard splash for two. Rubix with a bridged german suplex for two. Dutt SPIKES him with a tornado DDT, however, and finishes with a moonsault into a double gut stomp at 3:15. Good GOD that was a sick finish. How do you even do that safely? Crazy action for a short match. ***

Meanwhile, the judges talk about Taeler Hendrix, and mention that she was misdiagnosed with cancer and didn’t actually have the disease. Well that’s a bit misleading then.

BFG Series: Bully Ray v. Samoa Joe

Big stall from Bully to start, and they trade wristlocks, but Bully rakes the eyes to take over. Suplex and headbutt follow and we take a break. Back with Bully cutting off a Joe comeback with a clothesline, but Joe fires back with chops and they clothesline each other. Bully lands on top for two. He goes to work on the arm, wrapping it up in the corner and dropping elbows on it, so Joe bails and tries to pull it back in place again outside. Bully follows, so Joe slugs away on him, but Bully rams the arm into the stairs to cut him off again. Back in, Bully misses a splash and Joe makes the comeback with an atomic drop and big boot, and the senton gets two. Bully catches him with Rock Bottom for two, and goes up for his own senton, but it misses as usual. He bails and suckers Joe into charging him, then catches him with a big boot to lay him out. But now JOSEPH PARK ESQUIRE does a run in and slaps Bully, as he’s getting more confident with his place in our so-called-sport, allowing Joe to catch the shocked Bully with the choke at 13:00. *** So that’s 10 points for Joe. Joseph talks some trash afterwards, and declares that the bullying ends TONIGHT. Or more specifically, two weeks from tonight, if Bully accepts a challenge for a FIGHT.

More with Dixie and the addict, as Dixie talks about how the footage was doctored, but I get the feeling the questions are skeptical that everything is as they are being represented.

Meanwhile, Kazarian pleads his case to Hulk Hogan, claiming that Daniels manipulated him the whole time and he was just a patsy. Hulk has little sympathy.

Meanwhile, Madison tracks down Garrett Bischoff, looking for info on her secret crush. She whispers the secret to him, and he’s amused.

Meanwhile, Gail Kim and Miss Tessmacher get into an argument over DIRECT AUTO INSURANCE.

Rashad Cameron v. Mason Andrews

Those sound like NXT geek names. This is another X tournament match. I like that they’re trying to cycle new people in again, though. Mason gets a quick rollup for two, but Cameron charges and ends up on the floor. Mason follows with a dangerous corkscrew dive that looked like he nearly tripped himself up and killed himself, and back in that gets two. C’mon guys, we don’t need another Jesse Sorenson deal, be safe out there. Cameron comes back with a dropkick and suplexes Mason onto the top rope, but a moonsault misses. Andrews with a knee that shows a lot of light, and a springboard bodyblock gets two. Cameron comes back with a dropkick to put him on the floor, and he gets his own flip dive to follow. Back in, that gets two. He goes up, but Andrews snaps him down with a rana for two. Cameron dropkicks him into the corner and follows with a DDT for the pin at 4:03. Felt like I was watching a dark tryout match before RAW. Really sloppy, but you have to attribute that to nerves, I think. **

Next week: James Storm v. Jeff Hardy!

Gut Check Decision: The midget votes “Yes”, Leif Cassidy votes “No” to build drama, but then Joey Ryan shows up in the front row and Taz gets all distracted and security has to break things up. Taeler cuts a blah last-chance promo, and Brother Love votes “yes” to give her the contract. She’s no worse than, say, Velvet Sky. She’ll do fine.

TNA World tag titles: AJ Styles & Kurt Angle v. Christopher Daniels & Kazarian

The champs work Kazarian over in the corner, so Kaz gives Daniels an angry tag. Daniels pounds on Angle and springboards in with an elbow, and Kazarian gets two. They do some angry tagging, and Angle fires back with a suplex to put Daniels on the floor, setting up AJ for a rana off the apron. AJ tosses him into the railing, and heels do some more arguing about their situation, and we take a break. Back with Daniels holding a chinlock, and the STO gets two. Moonsault hits knee, but AJ gets the tag to Angle, so Daniels tags out to Kazarian against his will. Angle throws Kaz around with suplexes, including the rolling germans, and then he does the same to Daniels. Angle Slam for Kazarian, but he reverses into a TKO for two. Angle rolls into the anklelock, but Kazarian kicks out of it, only for AJ to springboard in with a clothesline on him. AJ runs wild on Daniels and they collide, but Daniels comes back with a powerbomb. Ref is bumped and everyone ends up on the floor, so Daniels grabs a chair…and Kazarian stops him. AJ hits Daniels with the Pele Kick as Kazarian walks out on his partner…and then WAFFLES AJ with the chair! Oh, they got me, I’ll give them that! Daniels regains the tag titles at 12:00. KUDOS! Now that was a well-done swerve. Not really the same quality as the PPV because of all the storyline stuff, but it was still fun. ***1/4 Daniels announces afterwards that the crack baby daddy is AJ STYLES. OK, now we’re getting somewhere.

The Pulse:

WAY better than last week’s aberration. Three solid matches and a sloppy but exciting X-division match make for a terrific week of entertainment, plus the ridiculous AJ-Dixie storyline is hopefully getting back on track again. I’m glad my patience paid off again. However, no chance of them getting my money the day after Silva-Sonnen, sorry.

Comments

  1. Man, I am digging TNA so much right now, and that's a sentence I never thought I'd say since Hogan came aboard and tried to turn it into Nitro 2.0. It's back to the TNA I used to know and love; lots of kick-ass wrestling that feels so different and exciting from the WWE Main Event Style, fresh faces at the top, keeping away from the Main Event Promos that WWE loves so much, stories that build that builds feuds and revolves around THE TITLES...and yeah, they got me with the Kaz swerve too. I haven't watched RAW and SD n about four weeks (Evil GM angles one decade later + Main Event Big Show + two-minute matches on both shows = no buys), which is the longest layoff for me in about six years, and I don't feel like I'm missing much with TNA doing so much right, even down to minimizing the lamest aspects (the Hogans). As much as I've disliked TNA for the last several years, esp. the last two during the Hogan/Bischoff/Russo regime, I'm really glad they've turned their shit around seemingly overnight post-Russo and have a great WRESTLING show going every week. 

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  2. Just FYI, Rubix performs for the ultra-awesome CHIKARA under the name "Jigsaw." Good to see a CHIKARA guy getting national exposure

    I'm really digging the Joey Ryan angle for some reason.

    Not a blowaway show or anything, but it kept my attention throughout, which is more than I can say for WWE. Keep it up TNA.

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  3. When I see BFG I think of Big Friendly Giant.

    Roald Dahl Y'all!!

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  4. Re: The 'Double Gut Stomp" - is that the same thing Spike used to do, where he just jumped off the top rope onto someone's stomach?

    I -NEVER- got how that was done. That's 150 pounds landing right in your guts. That just has to hurt like hell.

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  5. Is TNA re-putting some stock into Samoa Joe? I noticed he's 2nd in the BFG Series(granted a DISTANT 2nd) but that's got a be a good thing considering last year he finished with what? -10 or something of that nature or is this just something that's nothing more than a coincidence? 

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  6. Even crazier, Dutt's version is a MOONSAULT gut stomp, which seems like there's no way to possibly perform safely.

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  7. Yeah, that was fucking awesome. And a spot I'd never want to take. More reasons to love Sonjay Dutt (DESERVES FUCKING BETTER, as Maffew would say)

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  8.  Sonjay Dutt did a show in Melbourne, Victoria about four weeks ago. I thoughts he was off TNA television.

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  9.  Big F'n Gun.

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  10. Big Show was doing that in the Power Plant, but Hogan convinced him that giants don't do moonsaults.

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  11. Vince Russo must be a member of the Illuminati. That's the only possible explanation there could be as to how he's had a job in the wrestling business for so long despite being a cancer to everything he touches. David Schultz, Ole Anderson and Billy Jack Haynes all got blackballed for a hell of a lot less than what Russo's done.

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  12. Not to sound like a dick, but I thought the swerve was painfully predictable. Especially when AJ said something to Angle like "We're going to win because we're a team and they're having problems' I immediatly thought 'Well there it is. Obvious swerve coming up.'

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  13. I've just seen a little bit of TNA lately, but I was very impressed with the last PPV and looking forward to the next.  I hope they can keep up the good work, as it actually seems like a wrestling company again and is as fun as it was back in 2004/2005.

    Even if they are never at the level of the WWE in terms of audience penetration, I hope they always have enough of one to stay on the air, because it sure is nice to have an alternative vision of the wrestling universe that still caters to a mainstream wrestling audience.  Their production values have really improved in the last four or five years -- although I think it'll really improve once they get away from the Impact Zone on a more frequent basis.

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  14. I like that they're announcing matches for next week and the week after that.

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  15.  Yeah I never quite understood that either. Same thing with Big Show's "walk over" spot where he steps right on you and puts all his weight down as he steps over you. No way to fake that, and it speaks well of the ab strength of any of his opponents that they're even able to take it.

    Sonjay Dutt also has this really cool double-jump elbowdrop that he does, where he jumps from the corner straight onto the ropes and launches like a rocket into an elbowdrop. That'd be a pretty good finish for him, although the moonsault stomp is pretty killer.

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  16. good show last night for sure. loving that we havent seen the last of joey ryan, im a fan!

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  17. Now if they can ease up on those interview segments I'd be happy.

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  18. He's having lunch with Jay-Z Beyonce and talking of world domnation as we speak...most likely involving pole matches.

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  19. I just fast forward through all those parts. And the parts with Mr. Anderson.

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  20. That was my main complaint to the Kazarian "swerve"... all it does is needlessly extend a mostly useless angle, and now anyone can figure out that the LMS match at Destination X will be run-in marred.

    This was a GREAT chance to fuck with the usual "fake dissension leads to backstab" formula, but oh well, can't win them all.

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  21. The best thing about TNA is the fact that the product does not insult my intelligence and make me feel embarassed to be a wrestling fan. Sure, the AJ/Dixie story isnt much but just about everything else makes sense and the in-ring product is refreshing compared to the WWE-style matches.

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  22.  I realize he's a former wwe guy and all, but man, there is nothing that makes me want to care.

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  23.  Man, he totally goldberged his way up that thing.  last week I don't think he had a point, now he's in second.  lots of house show victories or whatever.

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  24. At least they're giving him an angle rather than burying him then writing him off TV then blaming him when that audience doesn't react to him.

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  25.  At least his house show wins aren't apocryphal!  So far all the house show BFG stuff is documented and it's on the up-and-up.

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  26.  The AJ/Dixie thing may have turned out stupid, but at least it was something to pay attention to. An interesting storyline that has you wondering how it'll turn out...amazing concept. Compared to "Will John Cena be fired for two weeks again?"...

    And a system where guys compete against one another and whoever wins the most will be rewarded with a opportunity to compete for a championship...compared to "wins and loses don't matter unless John Cena's job is on the line"..

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  27. The X-Division match with the no names was great.  Although the dude from Philly reminds me of Kofi but with a fro instead of dreads, I think he came across really well in his post match promo.

    Thank goodness Dutt shaved his head.  His hair was painfully thin his last go around, especially since his hair was dark so it really contrasted (and exposed the amount of ) his scalp.

    I was all ready to say, "Can Joey Ryan please just go the fuck away already" but I'm willing to see where it goes.

    I still wonder: are the gut check decisions shoots nor not? Flair got in trouble for changing his vote to yes on the 1st guy, which implies that the guy was *not* supposed to get a contract.  But if they are shoots, how did the Ryan angle continue to unfold?

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  28. He has been, for a few years now.  But they're bringing people in for the X-Division Title tourney.

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  29. Same thing with Big Show's "walk over" spot where he steps right on you
    and puts all his weight down as he steps over you. No way to fake that


    My memory wants to say he always does it by the ropes, which would allow him to push off the ropes and use them to absorb a good chunk of his weight.

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  30. The one problem I had with the Kaz swerve wasn't that it happened, but that it was one of those "it wouldn't have been a swerve had the cameras not been there."  One could argue that him talking to Hogan "legitimized" it (it was in Hogan's office, so it was going to get on TV), but had it only been backstage with him and Daniels, it means they knew it would be on TV.  Kaz's body language coming out for the match indicated he was upset with Daniels, but again, if not for the backstage stuff, no one would have known what it was about.

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  31. Look-alikes:

    Joey Ryan  = Ron Burgundy

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  32. reasonable doubt on a pole match.

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  33. i think the whole joey ryan thing is an elavorate worked shoot. yeah flair went off script but they gauged the crowd and went with it just to see if it will go anywhere.

    i dont know about his indy buzz but he has been doin some youtube vids and they remind me of a mix of andersons vids after he got realesed from wwe.

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  34. He isn't the best in the business by any stretch but I don't get the hatred for the guy since he's been in TNA.  People went gaga over him in WWE and now many here think he's an affront to television.  I'd rather watch him than Santino Marela or Miz, that's for sure.

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  35. I like Joey Ryan.  Fresh face creating controversy - scripted controversy.  Loose cannon gimmick is fitting for him.

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  36. I enjoyed the show, don't get me wrong, but it seems they've already forgotten about Sting getting jumped by those masked men storyline. 

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  37.  I wasn't around for his wwe time.  there's just nothing that really excites me about him, and he's one of those uppercard/upper mid card guys, which is why I note that I don't see it.  Santino's just a comedy act who puts a cobra sock on his arm.
    I'm mostly just noting that I can't connect to him in any way.  I don't hate him, I just don't care about him. like, all of the other faces in the BFG series, I either openly like or at least acknowledge "hey, jeff hardy's weirdo face paint and stupid nickname aren't my bag, but sure, I can see that there's a portion of fans that is aimed at who are going to dig it." I don't get that feeling with Mr. Assole Shouter.

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  38. The dude is almost in his mid 30's though...why has it taken so long for him to get this exposure?

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  39. How long has he been on the independent circuit?

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  40. One more thing: The Rashad Cameron guy talkin' about how he represents Philly but he yet was wearing purple and yellow tights?  That ain't Philly colors.  Not a big deal but just a pet peeve.

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  41. I think I officially soured on Anderson when he started singing a Meatloaf song in the middle of a promo against Bully Ray when they both were in Immortal,

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  42. I just watched that match on YouTube and on the replay, you can kind of see how Dutt does it so his opponent doesn't die. He lands with his knees bent, lessening the impact and hops off right away. So his full weight doesn't really hit Rubix.

    I think what's incredible is how accurate Sonjay was with that move, especially since he's doing it blind with the moonsault variation. I think he's truly an underrated high-flyer as there's tons of guys who don't have his smoothness in the ring.

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  43. There's an exercise for ab conditioning where you lie on your back and lift your feet six inches off the ground. While doing that, people can walk all over your stomach and you won't feel a thing. I wouldn't be surprised if the guy are at least attempting something like that during the spot.

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  44. Whoses the King of NY? Jay-z vs Nas, Crown on a Pole match. With Beyonce locked in a cage hanging at ringside. 

    I like, I've been waiting for Nas to turn heel on Jay again for years. 

    Nas wins when he uses an 'ether' soaked rag to knock jay out. He grabs the crown and finally makes an album that matches up to illmatic.  

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  45. Well Jay wont win because he aint ever reaching Reasonable Doubt again. Then again no one else is either. 

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  46. I really enjoyed the show this week. Seeing Sonjay back, and also seeing Jigsaw, Scorpio Sky, and Sabian get a shot on TV was pretty cool for indy geeks. Looking forward to who they're going to bring in the next few weeks. If they have a working relationship with Chikara now, they HAVE to bring in Sara Del Ray for the Knockouts division.

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  47. Jay aint winning, hell never go close to touching reasonable doubt again.

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  48. I really like the images of the wrestlers themselves on their MiniTron counterparts on the side of the stage. Looks cool.

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  49. This is a time that I wish TNA could get Xplosion on US television and have it be an all X-Division show (well maybe a KO match in there) The X Division Champ can still have matches with AJ Styles and Kazarian from time to time, but give it to those young unknowns and wrestlers from Chikara to make a name for themselves.

    In a perfect world, you'd have Heyman book it.

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  50. Kanye would run in and be like, "I know you busy climbing that pole and I'ma let you finish..but the Notorious BIG is the REAL King of New York"  before hitting him with a chair. (which is totally missed because the cameraman is too busy watching Kim Kardashian bend over as she climbs in the ring.)

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  51. Yeah one built in advantage tna has is a better working relationship with the indys. I'd like to see them play that up more.

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  52. Yup im really enjoying this whole Joey Ryan angle.

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  53. The aj dixie thing is awful. Just as bad as cena v ace but at least its not the main thrust of the show

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  54. Yeah but he says his last name twice!

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  55. Vince russo is the david lee roth of pro wrestling

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  56. This. Just keep this up, TNA. Even if your ratings never go a point further, just keep this up and you'll get my money.

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  57. Am I the only one that thought Mason Andrews was great?  Didn't look like he slipped on that corkscrew spot to me...

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  58. The flag of Philadelphia is blue and yellow.  It's why the Eagles originally used those colors (the current team sometimes chooses those uniforms for throwback weeks).

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  59.  Ugh I fucking hate doing leg raises & planks for abs. It feels like getting the wind knocked out of you in slow motion. I'll stick to crunches, obliques, and woodchoppers. Thankfully I'll never encounter a scenario where a 500 lb. guy needs to walk on me.

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  60.  I think any appeal he had in WWE was based on the fact that he never seemed to stay healthy or un-suspended for more than a few months at a time, so you never quite got the chance to be sick of his character. Once he was on TNA every week for a long while the act got really tired really really quickly. Plus Ziggler has one-upped him as the foremost Mr. Perfect imitator.

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  61.  The best I can gather they're worked but they do it kind of like a reality show would, where the person involved knows how the segment is going to be laid out and what their cues are but they don't actually tell them the result so they get a "genuine" reaction out of them.

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  62.  Sara Del Ray: Next CHIKARA world champ? I could see it happening. She's challenging Kingston coming up soon.

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  63. AmericanWolves02June 29, 2012 at 6:11 PM

    Definitely more enjoyable than last week(though I still enjoyed last weeks) Two 10 minute matches and two other good matches, plus some solid advancement in some angles makes a good show. 

    Plus, look at the card for Destination X. Joe vs. Angle, AJ vs. Daniels, and Roode vs. Aries. Plus an X Division tournament? That's a loaded card. Plus we'll probably get a Bully Ray vs. Park/Abyss match, and I'm sure we'll have another BFG series match, probably including Storm.

    One question, I know last week, Hogan said they wouldn't acknowledge what happened to Sting until they find out who did it, but c'mon, can't they find out who did it SOONER! Jeez! Ok ok, I like that they are stretching it out a little. I wish WWE would have done that with the Summer of Punk....but that's another story. 

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  64.  They're slow building that til after BFG, last I heard, and supposedly as of now they don't actually know who they want the three guys to be. It was basically just a "get Sting off TV for a while" spot to be brought back up later.

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  65.  I think if they had Daniels come out last week and drop the bomb about AJ knocking up Claire Lynch, it would've went over better... I think everyone wondering what the hell happened in that angle for a week did some major damage to it.  But at least it's something that's playing out properly for once (even if last week's payoff was non-sensical, it makes a lot more sense into the context of what happened last night).

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  66. AmericanWolves02June 29, 2012 at 7:32 PM

    That always worries me when a promotion does something hyping a mystery of who it is, without knowing exactly who it is before they start it. 

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  67. AmericanWolves02June 29, 2012 at 9:40 PM

    Well if Joe gets 2 submission wins, that's 20 points right there.

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  68. AmericanWolves02June 29, 2012 at 9:42 PM

    Anderson was known as a Mr. Perfect imitator? I don't see any likeness at all there haha

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  69. Dutt has been working CZW... JEEZUS!!

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  70. and thats about it.

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  71. Anderson was a PerfectShawn imitator...

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  72. It would be cool if it was Joey Ryan and GenMe.

    I dont know if the sizes add up, cuz they all look to be about 210 put together holding 50 pound balls.

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  73. lol. I caught it bro.

    I will say the closest he got was blueprint 1. That was a modern classic and probably the last great end to end East Coast CD.

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  74. i comdemn you to hell for bringing up "they"... smh...

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  75.  It was more two house show wins where I don't think they mentioned who the wins were over.  just kind of cracked me up.

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  76.  Mainly because of the gum-chewing, but I remember the comparison being around. Ziggler might imitate Hennig's wrestling style but Anderson, you have to admit, had a little bit of Curt's jock demeanor in WWE.

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  77. I could definitely see it happening. I haven't been keeping up with Chikara as much as I would like this year, so I don't know if they're really building her up. Maybe not this title shot, but maybe the big title match at the end of the year she could get it. 

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