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Monday Night RAW Open Thread of Doom

Is this the week that they go three hours?

Oh well I don't know so I just hope the show is interesting and if it's not interesting please make it fun.

As always, come out swinging but try to keep it clean.

Comments

  1. the fuj is in the building SON!!!

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  2. Here's hoping DDP is the legend this week and hits a Diamond Cutter! BANG!

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  3. If Lesnar isn't going to appear anytime soon, I feel like they just need to go over the top with who Triple H is going to explain "this business" to every week. Maybe they can find Lesnar's third grade teacher, or some  guy from the Viking's preseason squad that Lesnar was on, or maybe they can find Zach Gowen so Hunter can show Lesnar how to really humiliate a one legged guy.

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  4. I hope they lose the Nickelback song come RAW 1000.

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  5. Cena's promos are just lame, plain and simple.

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  6. Oh great they are piping in Goldberg "No!" chants.

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  7. It seems like WWE prefers big monsters to torment Heath Slater with.  My money's on King Kong Bundy.

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  8.  It's beyond awful.  And they somehow got invited to play that same damn song at the NHL awards.

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  9. LOVED the Jericho throwback catch phrases!

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  10. Uninspiring opening segment.

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  11. And the Giant comes down to clear the NWO!  ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

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  12. That was boring as fuck. And all to get Big Show over as a monster. 

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  13. Kane won MiTB? And cashed it in and won? I have no memory of that.

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  14. LOL at Kofi almost hitting Santino in the face with his shirt.

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  15. He won MitB and cashed it in on Rey Mysterio to win the WHC in the same night.

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  16. That sounds like something I'd never want to see. I probably blocked out the memory.

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  17. What a clusterfuck this 8-man tag mathc turned out to be.

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  18. I like AW with the mic. Neat heel touch. Reminds me of when Lawler wrestled with the mic in his hand.

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  19. Even though he kinda sucks in the ring, I like Titus. He has charisma.

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  20. Bahahaha.  This show is indeed about "9 year-olds" 

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  21. I swear there's more dancing on WWE now than Dancing with the Stars. 

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  22. Considering how the first 15 minutes of this show went, I'm surprised they didn't give each kid who climbed in the ring some mic time.

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  23. Also, this show is on pace for less than 100 comments by the time it ends.  That may be a new low...speaking of a new low, poor Christian.

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  24. I was listen to WOL and Meltzer recalled how RAW drew in more kids during the Attitude Era than they do now.

    By the way, that 8 Man segment would have been incredibly lame to me as a 7 year old.

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  25. Goal: Get all the black wrestlers on the show in the 'B' segment.


    Accomplished

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  26. You know, showing clips of when this show was much much better isn't improving my mood. Or my opinion of tonight's crapfest.

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  27. Mr. Princess said Titus' ring skills are still better than he was as a college football player. 

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  28. Agreed. Its sad to see how much the product has fallen.

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  29.  What's the crowd chanting at Del Rio??

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  30. I guess its a Sin Cara/Del Rio feud once Alberto loses to Sheamus.

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  31. Is Bundy still around? I haven't heard anything about him in a long time. He seems a little more old school than the people they've been bringing out.

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  32. What are you talking about?  All the nine year olds think the show is great!

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  33. Catch the chicken! Catch the chicken!

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  34. This show is dragging. I am surfing the web more than paying attention(nothing has held me attention so far). I will probably turn it off after the Legends segment, which sadly is the only reason I have been watching lately. 

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  35. "Aw, Daniel. That's so sweet."
    "Yeah, yeah it is!"

    I laughed.

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  36. Could be something in Spanish?  Laredo is right on the US/Mexico border.

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  37. This HHH/Lesnar feud is so bad when they showed the crowd, they were all looking away at the screen.

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  38. Ha, anyone notice how they cut the crowd reaction from Heyman's promo once they started the 'What?' chants.  Subtle.

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  39. The most uneventful first hour of RAW in quite some time

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  40. I've only watched the last 15 minutes and I'm already bored out of my mind.

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  41. Bundy hasn't wrestled in many years, but unless he's lost a ton of weight, it wouldn't take much for him to go out there and Avalanche and Splash Slater for a five count.

    As a bald guy, he probably wouldn't look much different from his prime, either.

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  42. It sounded like "perro," which is Spanish for "dog."

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  43. This show is just completely unwatchable.  Just plain boring

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  44. I have a confession to make: I've skipped the past few weeks of Raw out of spite for the product, which has unfortunately bled over into TNA viewing on Thursday nights as well. I want to check out Impact Wrestling to see if they really are turning the page, but I've just been burned by the modern wrestling scene so often that I haven't been able to work up the patience to give it a chance.

    Tonight, I figured I would give Raw one more chance, just to see if a few weeks off did the trick. I tuned into the opening segment, instantly caught three of my favorite performers (Danielson, Punk & Jericho)... and just couldn't stomach the idiocy. Kane's entrance was beyond telegraphed, and once the segment devolved into a "let's put over Big Show!", I realized that I was no longer a fan of the product. I've been waffling since the weeks after the essential destruction of Brock Lesnar as a force for change. After almost twenty-three years of fandom, I could take no more of the shit McMahon is peddling.

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  45. So, I missed the first hour. Why the fuck is Sheamus getting to leech off of AJ's heat, and not Punk or Bryan?

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  46. Its almost like Vince is trying to destroy wrestling in order to bring the world is shitty version of a entertainmet company, with horrible television and films.

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  47. But if you change the channel now, you'll miss a 20 minute HHH stroke-a-thon!

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  48. The Sheamus "Bro!" call before the kick is so f'n lame.  Just turn him back heel

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  49. The AJ storyline is just all over the place.

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  50. The crazier AJ gets, the better (hotter) she gets.

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  51.  Um, Punk. That crazy chick is guest referee of your title match. Should probably pay her a little more attention. Your opponent is.

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  52. I've got some ideas to improve the show. I got it right here. (pulls out a piece of paper)

    One, AJ needs to be louder, angrier, and have access to a time machine.

    Two, whenever AJ's not onscreen, all the other characters should be asking "Where's AJ"?

    Three--

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  53. So what's Slater going to say this week? My opponent better get ready to feel the bang!!?

    *cue*

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  54. Face Doink? Well, even tonight's legend is a complete disappointment.

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  55.  Okay, well Slater should win this match, at least.

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  56. Really Michael Cole? Doink was in just Wrestlemania IX and 17? I guess he forgot about that WrestleMania X tag match Doink was in.

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  57. How did Slater ever luck into this jobbing to middle age men-gimmick? Maybe it's his huge bitch-tits? I bet they actually told him about it like it was a good thing. "We're going to give you the ball, it's up to you to run with it."

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  58. Well that makes sense. No one wants to see DDP wrestle, they just want to see a Diamond Cutter.

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  59. DDP and Doink combined not as good as Sid or Vader the last few weeks.

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  60. When are they gonna get to the fireworks factory????

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  61. Ugh.  DDP's WWE music is AWFUL.  At least let him cut out to "Teen Spirit"

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  62. Oops. Spoke to soon I guess. That was OK. DDP looked O L D though

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  63. Ahh "No Holds Barred"....a movie TOTALLY catered to nine-year-olds....who were born in 1980...

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  64. HARLEY AND ME AND YOU AND THE TREE!

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  65. No Holds Barred digitally remastered,lol.  Mr Nanny next?

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  66. "Remember that piece of shit "The Chaperone"? LOL now on 4-D megadisc."

    - Michael Cole in 2032

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  67. Gotta love how Vinny Mac managed to promote No Hold Barred while trying to BURY Hogan at the same time.

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  68. So was that Zach Ryder in the Doink costume? Would not put it past them to make him do that.... 

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  69. Seriously, try going back on YouTube and watch old WWWF clips with McMahon speaking such outlandish things as "number one contenders" and "heavyweight championship of the world" in a calm, sportsman-like demeanor. It's almost surreal to think that the same man who used to go on television and present wrestling as a sport in the '70s would rise up to destroy it all these years later.

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  70. HHHs daughter would come out and kick his ass in the ring,

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  71. I still love the premise of No Holds Barred. If someone beats your brother to death, don't involve the authorities, just beat him in a wrestling match!

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  72. ..my name is Jef VInson, and I approve this message.

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  73.  Pretty surprised they didnt just change the name to "The Self Destruction Of The Hulkster."

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  74. I missed the first hour too. Think it's a problem that AJ is more over than Sheamus?

    Memo to Vince: nobody cared about Kane/Big Show in 1999 when it was a "fresh" match.... Or in 2002.... Or in 2006.... They don't care about it now.

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  75. I don't think Vince owns Mr. nanny.

    Suburban Commando, maybe?

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  76. And Big Slow comes out to.....NO REACTION WHATSOEVER!  They might as well bring back Albert.

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  77. Kane vs. The Big Show. This is a match I have yet to see in like, what...a month?

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  78. Doink? AND DDP? BANG!

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  79. I think I've had enough of RAW tonight.

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  80. I saw it in the theater as a nine-year-old and LOVED it. 

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  81. Hey at least it's guaranteed DUD rating later by Scott!

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  82. It was Bob Starr.

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  83. I was going to say this match brought the show to a grinding halt, but its not like it had all that much  momentum anyway... this match idled this show to a stop maybe?

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  84. It's the "Invasion of the Body Snatchers" theory I had. Vince made a shitty clone of the host, kills off the original and puts the shitty clone out in the forefront and tries to force people to watch it.

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  85. With those "chair shots" went Linda McMahon's hopes and dreams of being in the Senate.

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  86. This stuff is almost as good as the build to last year's Money in the Bank...

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  87. It was Chris Jericho.

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  88. That was the ugliest match I've seen in a long while. Negative star territory.,

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  89. Is it bad that I hope Slow tore his shoulder?  

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  90. Wow. Eve's tetas are right at eye level for AJ...

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  91. Did anyone else think Eve and AJ would just start making out? Seemed like the thing to do.

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  92. The return of HLA!

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  93.  She's only 5' 8"

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  94. Relax, Punk and Bryan have also gotten to leech off of AJ's heat.  There's enough of it for everyone!

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  95. I too missed the first hour. I was wishing the cute french Au Pair in my kickboxing class goodbye in my own special way.

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  96. It just occurred to me that if Monday Night Raw was Melrose Place AJ would be blowing up the area any time now.

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  97.  ADR telling us about the DX invasion, not a good thing. Chyna in camouflage, an even worse thing.

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  98. So now you are comparing AJ to Perry the Platypus.

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  99. Oh, random Tyson Kidd appearance. Have fun with your two minute squash

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  100.  It was Jeff Jarrett.

    (In all seriousness, for those wondering... it was Steve Lombardi.)

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  101. Mistaaaaaaaaaaah Sparklee

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  102. I thought Tensai ditched hacky-sack or whatever the hell his name is.

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  103. BWAHAHAHA!!!

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  104. Um. Okay. Nevermind.

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  105. Bahahahahaha.  See ya, Albert.  Have fun in New Japan

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  106. HA!  Albert FINALLY gets some heat!

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  107. Wow that was a burial.

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  108. I love precognizant comments that aren't supposed to be precognizant comments

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  109. Well, give them credit for at least trying to hide Chyna.

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  110. It's nice to see CM Punk and John Cena being all buddy buddy in the back like nothing has ever happened between the two.

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  111. Did Tensai job out to Kidd?

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  112. AJ should be earning John Cena pay for all the work she's asked to do lately.

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  113. You thought it was that good?

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  114.  Not quite ... that was a heelish little line by Punk.

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  115. So Brock Lesnar is advertised for the show but doesn't even make an appearence. Yep, Russo is officially booking Raw.

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  116. If WWE was writing Melrose Place, they would blow it up one week, show a recap of the explosion 50 times during Raw and by the following week it would be reconstructed and there would be no mention of the explosion.

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  117. It could be all the drinking I've done.

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  118. He lost in 90 seconds. Came charging into the turnbuckle, Kidd dodged it and rolled him up. 1-2-3

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  119. Kidd > Tensai > Cena

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  120. "It's been a year since Punk has been neutered...I mean gave the legendary pipe bomb..."

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  121. Steve Lombardi had a nice cameo on the last ZTLIS, for all your Brooklyn Brawler lovers out there.

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  122. MOAR BIG SHOW

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  123. Hey! CM Punk finally gets to main event! The mega-powers explode! 

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  124. I remember begging my father to take me to see that movie.  I also remember apologizing for about an hour afterwards.

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  125. No, Cena is the main even. The others are just there.

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  126. Punk exposes Bryan off the tag, and Cena doesn't take advantage. Are they trying to seed that they're not on the same page, or is Cena just an idiot? 

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  127. At this point, I'll give 10 to 1 odds on AJ winning the WWE title sometime this year.

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  128. Well to be fair thats kind of what happend on Melrose. The apartments were repaired pretty quickly and Kimberly only spent a week or so in the nuthouse. 

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  129. Somewhere in Canada, Scott Keith is stoking the furnace to super-heat the hot pokers as we speak.

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  130. Is anyone else stoked to see Savages? Cause I am. Just saw a commercial for it while I was flipping around during the commercial. Also The Watch. I thought about getting a 12am showing for Spiderman, but I'll just catch that sometime tomorrow. This isn't really a threadjacking because I'm watching Raw. 

    And how in the fuck can they call Raw the biggest television show on Monday nights. Haven't they ever heard of Monday Night Football? 

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  131. Arrogant cover! Where was this Jericho against Punk?

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  132. Prowrestling.net said it was 17 seconds.  PWtorch called it 19.  Let's split the difference and say 18 seconds.

    Guess we can test the theory that jobbing someone in 18 seconds will get them mega-over.

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  133. The fact that they are promoting the midnight showings of Spider-Man this late in the game must mean the advance sales have been pretty soft so far.

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  134. "There not saying Si. They're saying SI.....na."

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  135. Now if DDP had been dressed as Doink, a la La Parka, that would have been pretty sweet. Then Jericho could have said that DDP was ripping him off, since he once dressed as Doink.

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  136. I am an uber-mark for the first two Spiderman movies with Toby McGuire (they were the first Blu-Rays I ever bought), but the commercials have won me over. I'm still not sure why they are rebooting a franchise that got its start in 2002, but that's probably why I'm not a movie executive. 

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  137. You think they'd actually put Zack Ryder on RAW?  It takes three of Cena's superfavors just to get him a cameo.

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  138. He looked perfectly fine for a 56 year old.

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  139. Superplex with the floatover. Shades of Barry Windam...

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  140. I'm waiting for AJ to interrupt Taker on Raw 1000 to setup the main event of WM29.

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  141. I thought I was comparing AJ to Poochie, but whatever works for you.

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  142. I like AJ and all, but unless she's going to get up on that table and strip, I don't care.

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  143. AJs out....forget about the match. Because this isn't a wrestling show and such, right?

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  144. This is retarded.

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  145.  Savages looks great, saw a review last night that said it was great too. Spiderman, not so much.

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  146. It seemed like that might be where AJ was going for a minute. That would definitely be an easy way for the two of them to get attention. But I guess she's just going to go appear on a reality show so that CM Punk will notice her? I pre-called Teddy pulling out the giant name tag for Eve, but I was disappointed that he didn't smack it right onto her titties.

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  147. Ok, just watched the main event and that was completely retarded.

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  148. So...is there like a winner or something?

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  149.  That Raw going to three hours ad was the best part of the whole show.

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  150. The most entertaining thing about Raw was the commercial at the end of it. That's.... pretty sad. 

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  151. Wins and losses don't matter. 

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  152. So the writers from Melrose are now writing for Vince?  Glad I wasnt the only one here that used to watch Melrose,lol.

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  153. A what? No, don't you get it. This is entertainment. They aren't fighting for belts or to prove their manliness; they're fighting to...umm, indulge a crazy lady? I dunno. 

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  154. Now we know why Vince keeps Khali employed.

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  155. CHAMPIONSHIPS.  They aren't fighting for CHAMPIONSHIPS to prove their manliness.

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  156. He's taking over Pat Patterson's job?

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  157. They didn't necessarily want to reboot the series.  Spider-Man 4 was weeks away from shooting with an expect summer 2011 release, but Sony couldn't come to an agreement with Sam Raimi over a final script.  He wanted to take it back to the simpler, character driven stories of the first two, whereas Sony wanted to continue down the Joel Schumacher path of having 2-3 villains to maximize merchandising opportunities.

    Raimi decided to exit the series, as did Maguire and Dunst who didn't care for the direction it was going to take.

    The rumored villains were Vulture, Black Cat, and The Lizard, which of course led to the new one where The Lizard is the featured hero.  I'm guessing Sony felt none of the villains were on the same tier as Doc Ock or the Goblins, but that's what they get for burning through Venom so quickly.

    It'll be interesting to see if other franchises not named Batman run into the lack of top tier villains for sequels.  Superman has certainly had that problem for ages in his film adventures - although that was partially technological with the 70's films.

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  158. The AJ soap opera has finally jumped the shark. Is she there to put Punk and Bryan over, or are they putting her over? Worst possible timing too. Cena's presence in the match told the crowd this was the real main event, and when he gave way to Punk-Bryan it cleverly transferred that heat onto them. The crowd was red hot for their closing sequence, and a clean finish would've done wonders for legitimizing either of them. Instead AJ runs in and lets us know who the real star of the angle is.

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  159. I was saying Boo-urns

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  160.  Wrong. They are fighting at the PPV. You don't give clean wins on TV.

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  161. At least they're pushing someone new, and at this point I don't care who it is.  I'll take AJ over Big Show Reboot #342 any day of the week.

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  162. I miss when they used to do comedy that actually pertained to the story - now it's just an endless string of non-sequiturs.

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  163. The studios' reticence to use certain villains seems real, but like so much of what they do it's not based on anything rational. Household familiarity is no indication of the quality of character, or potential financial success. Mainstream audiences had no idea who Iron Monger or Loki were, and that's worked out okay for the Marvel cinematic universe. Superman's got Brainiac, Bizarro, Metallo, Parasite, Mongul, etc., but they just keep suckling from the Luthor-Zod teat.

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  164. You are confusing WWE with ROH.

    This was fine for what it was.  We've already seen Punk vs Bryan.  The AJ factor is the new hook, and needs to be pushed, which it was (literally).

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  165. To be fair, being a comical idiot tends to go a long way in pro-wrestling - it's worked for Jericho and Santino, for instance.

    Hell, even Rock and Vince could kinda sorta be seen that way, concocting elaborate schemes and then reacting in a completely over-the-top manner when their plans didn't work.

    I mean, I'm not saying Slater is going to be a huge star or anything, but at least he's getting screen-time and has an actual angle and character. He's basically "getting his foot in the door" with this angle.

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  166. When has this been the case?

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  167. The AJ stuff ruined a good match between Bryan/Punk. It's just pointless crap. She causes trouble and there is zero logic behind any of it.

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  168. Cena WAS the last to make his entrance.

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  169. It was a tag match between opponents in the MITB. A clean win on TV doesnt mean that much in this case

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  170. Brilliant.

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  171. You're on fire lately.

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  172. This is not directly related to RAW, but it made me laugh, so I had to post it:
    http://www.411mania.com/wrestling/news/244926/Armando-Estrada-Gone-from-WWE.htm

    Ever since that one-time appearance as Tyson Kidd's manager last year (which I'd completely forgotten about, BTW), Armando Estrada has been under contract to WWE and has been sitting at home the whole time because "creative has nothing for him".

    Paying someone to do nothing for a year while forgetting he's under contract is SO WCW that it's scary! I'm sure Vince told creative: "If I can't remember the guy's under contract, no one will either".

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  173. Who cares who wins a meaningless tag match on RAW?

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  174. But what's the endgame? You get AJ over and...?

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  175. Who cares about AJ contemplating jumping on a table like it was supposed to kill her or something?

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  176. Brock never appeared?

    Wow, it's hilarious when watching 1997 Raw's and they're all about saying over and over "we don't say we're going to do something and not deliver!"

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  177. Punk and Bryan.  To show that was the whole point!

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  178. Clarify some shit:

    Dunst had already bailed and they had Anne Hathaway signed up to be Black Cat as the new love interest (MJ would be put on a bus).
     
    Raimi had fought tooth and nail for Vulture (he was supposed to be in Venom's place in SM3, where he and Sandman would be henchmen for Harry) and had gotten big name actor John Malchovics to agree to be Vulture but at the last minute, Sony "fuck no" and refused to pay for Malchovics and vetoed the Vulture and Malchovics because he was "too old". They then told Raimi that the only way he'd be allowed to use Vulture is if he turned Vulture into a chick (Vultress) and have Hathaway play the now feminized villain. 

    This was the final straw for Raimi and he walked, taking Hathaway and McGuire with him. 

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  179. Let it play out and see where they're going?

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  180. She actually spent 4-5 episodes in the insane assylum Mike. This coming from someone who spent a good chunk of his teen years jerking off to video tapes of Melrose Place I recorded off of E!, so I know....

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  181. The point of what? AJ is crazy and ..........

    This AJ stuff is going around in circles. The segement was retarded and the type of drama that Aaron Spelling would have thought was contrived

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  182. Cole's gotta be on the mic for that match.

    THE OCTOPUS!   OCTOPUS!   OCTOPUS!   OCTOPUS!   OCTOPUS!   OCTOPUS!   OCTOPUS!   OCTOPUS!   OCTOPUS!  TAP OUT!  TAP OUT!  TAP OUT!  TAP OUT!  GO TO SLEEP!  DO WHATEVER IT IS YOU DO!  AJ WINS!!!

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  183. Does that mean HBK is passed out in Vince's office somewhere?

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  184. I guess you'll just have to tune in to find out!

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  185. Marvel/Disney are very happy to try new things related to the Marvel Universe film division thanks to a string of blockbusters, plus Disney's own cash cows with Pixar and Pirates.

    Sony, which is a very desperate company right now after losing $5.7 billion, tries to stick to proven commodities.  The film division isn't churning out hits like it used to (MIB3 anyone?) and has relied on a few modest ones the past few years (Smurfs, Dragon Tattoo, Social Network).

    Skyfall will likely make Sony a ton this fall, but the 2012 slate looks fairly weak and a Will Smith / M. Night Shyamalan called After Earth is a risky proposition at this point considering that director's track record.

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  186. Did you just type that without a trace of irony? It's definitely not sarcasm, because that's what you're actually advocating elsewhere (if not in so many words).

    Help me out, guys: between BuckDiddy, that new guy who's always trolling Chin, et al, I can't keep track of all the new trolls the blog is attracting. Is zanadude another one? If so, I didn't mean to feed him. This was so much simpler when it was just Dougie.

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  187. So is going three hours and messing with the crowd sounds.

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  188. Malkovich was cast at one point, but there were many, many versions of the script as it was in constant flux.  Raimi wouldn't approve of any of them since none of them made him or Maguire happy.  I had not heard Dunst had bailed, but she did make it official after the other two left.

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