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The RAW 1000 Anticipation Thread!

Apparently there's a PHRESH new logo!  And I bet there'll be DUBSTEP!  Kids love that!  

Obviously Steve Austin is the final payoff for the Heath Slater angle, but if you've got any other predictions, now is the time!

Comments

  1. hopefully this is as awesome as the  RAW 10 year anniversary

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  2. re: Heath Slater, it's a WWE rule: the punch line to any long-term comedy angle is always, ALWAYS Mae Young.

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  3. This is either going to be a total train wreck or awesome with no middle ground.

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  4. Dolph cashes in and wins. Then Cena loses. Then I woke up.

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  5. He already was humiliated by Hornswoggle (he threw him over the top rope in an over the top rope challenge). Steve Austin is the likely punchline.

    Someone will stop the marriage from happening and it won't be Kane (although they may tease that Kane is going to do it). Lesner destroys DX and Punk retains the title thanks to the Big Show but Big Show will continue to lord it over him that he saved his butt.

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  6. Slater should go over. Doesn't matter who his opponent yet. If he wins tonight it's actually *gasp* meaningful!

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  7. Man, I would really be shocked if Punk goes heel.  He is consistently getting louder pops than Cena and is easily #2 in merch sales behin him. 

    I predict a Big Show schmooze.

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  8. I'm looking forward to the Entire DX (during their heyday minus Chyna) appearing tonight.

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  9. Oh, brother, this is all for fun. I'm very aware of his place on the totem pole.

    I would love it, though....

    Punk: Would you have toasted with me, Steve?! HUH?!!
    Stone Cold: Well, hell yeah, I would've got you a Pepsi or an O'Douls! (big laugh and cheer from the crowd)

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  10. If they're really going for Punk/Austin at WM they'd better turn him heel. There is no way that annoying straightedge shit is going to make him a face against Steve Freakin' Austin.

    Personally I hope Austin doesn't come back, I can't imagine how broken down he is at this point, a decade after his last match .

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  11. Maybe that's why that fist was in her cunt: for the literal punch line.

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  12. I hope they don't forget to invite Tori!

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  13.  Would be better to just fucking have Cena go heel; loses the MITB match and afterwords, goes utterly batshit on Punk swearing up a storm and "injures" Punk.

    Doesn't show up on Smackdown and on the following Raw, we get Cena explaining that he doesn't give a fuck about the kiddies anymore and will do whatever it takes to make sure he and he alone is the sole alpha male around. And that means him unifying the world titles.
     
    Cena beats Punk at Summerslam, unifies the world titles at Survivor Series, and we get the slow burn towards him vs Punk at Wrestlemania where Punk beats Cena and Cena passes the torch to Punk at long last.

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  14. $50 says they get confused and book the wrong Tori (or Torrie, as it were)

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  15. All for fun, these predictions are for fun. I cannot emphasize this enough.

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  16. I thought I was having a stroke. What just happened? 

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  17. Oh no, I gotcha, I'm just saying if they really head that way they better not even sniff at the idea of Punk staying face.

    (Also my desire for Austin to stay retired is purely selfish as I was there live at 19 for his retirement match)

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  18. I want them to bring Chyna back, just with someone with their finger over the cut button if she tries to open her mouth just like they had with the Iron Sheik. 

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  19. exodus316 exodus316July 23, 2012 at 2:10 PM

    Probably Miz will be the one to break up the wedding after last week.

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  20. They just started doing that "Cena is the star, not you, despite being the champion."

    If Cena beats Punk tonight, it buries Punk completely.

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  21.  Ah, Vince's revenge on Punk for his promos last year.  =)  I could actually see that happening.

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  22. My two big hopes/predictions for tonight:

    - Jim Ross is the new GM.
    - Punk beats Cena, and is challenged by Rock for "Summerslam".

    Also, on the topic of Austin/Punk, if they were to set-up that program, I *really* hope it's in the opposite direction of Rock/Cena - instead of two guys that can't stand each-other, I would really like to see it as more of a "respect" feud, with Punk saying something like "I know we got Rock/Cena last year, and I'd like to have my own 'dream match'; Steve Austin, you're the greatest of all-time, and it would be an honor to face you at WM29". Punk wouldn't have to turn heel, the "straight-edge" thing wouldn't really have to factor into the storyline as much (the storyline would be more about the current 'Best in the World' against the former 'Best in the World'), and it would allow both men to be at their kayfabe strongest.

    Still, I think Austin/Punk should be saved for WM30 (let Punk wrestle Brock at WM29), with WM30 taking place at the Dallas Cowboys stadium - that way, it's in Austin's backyard, and WWE could break their own indoor-attendance record.

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  23.  I think they already tried to get Cowboys Stadium for WM 30 but got cock-blocked by the NCAA Basketball Tournament being already booked.

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  24. Damn, that would have been a hell of a spectacle.

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  25. TONIGHT, I'M INTRODUCING A NEW WAY FOR FANS TO BE INTERACTIVE FOR TONIGHT'S HISTORIC 1000th RAW.

    WE CALL IT "TWOUTTERING".

    USING 160 CHARACTERS, IN 15 SECONDS OR LESS, YOUR UGLY FACES ARE GOING TO BE THE NEW STARS OF OUR COMPANY.

    YOU'LL PICK THE MATCHES, YOU'LL SETTLE ROSEY VS. THE DONALD, AND YOU'LL DO IT LIVE, STARTING TONIGHT UNTIL THE END OF ETERNITY AT 8/7 CT.

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  26. PREDICTION: Someone mentions Twitter

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  27. Oh boy oh boy oh boy! I can't wait for tonight's show! I've already got the Nickelback opening song in my head!

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  28. New theme song, according to Entertainment Weekly, is "Tonight is the Night" by Outtasight. So they're continuing the trend of using songs that are about a year past being popular.

    And the new GM is going to be the WWE Universe, with people voting on Twitter or some shit for the matches. Read an article earlier today with Stephanie McMahon crediting social media from preventing people from switching channels, so they're all in w/ that.

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  29. This is my bold prediction:

    The Ultimate Warrior shows up tonight.

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  30. I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR THIS DAY FOR A LONG FUCKING TIME.

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  31. Damien Demento returns and gets his win back against UT.

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  32. Whoa, they're going away from numetal? BUMMER

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  33. Did anyone on the blog send a TOUT about the big show yet? I'm not gonna lie, I downloaded the TOUT app on my iPhone, I have no idea why. 

    But I did not TOUT anything yet. 

    TOUT TOUT TOUT. 

    And TOUT. 

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  34. +1 for the word "TWOUTTERING"

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  35. Edge & Christian segment, please.

    Edge: "Christian, it totally reeks of awesomeness that you became world champ twice last year!"
    Christian: "I know! Once it was because Randy Orton kicked me in the nuts!"

    ALSO: I'll loose my mind if The Brood's music hits at all tonight.

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  36. IT WAS EITHER THAT, OR WE WERE GOING TO HAVE "TWOUT-OUTS".

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  37.  Sorry, but Steve "Don't Trust Anyone" Austin is completely the wrong person for a 'mutual' respect feud.  That just doesn't fit Austin's character in the slightest bit.  If you want his respect you have to earn it based on holding your own in the ring.

    And when will this pipe dream of an Austin/Punk feud die?

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  38. I'll take a shot at predicting the new logo:

    http://i.imgur.com/Pe9D6.jpg

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  39. Ugh. Can't people have fun and make up ideas?

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  40. Weird idea: have Austin come out and get the crap kicked out of him by someone (say, Dolph Ziggler, who could use the rub of making Austin his bitch and basically humiliating Austin by showing how Austin is broken down and worthless as a wrestler)

    After about 10-15 minutes of Austin being beaten by Ziggler and brutalized after the match, Punk comes out and makes the save. Punk doesn't lecture Austin on his drinking but regardless, Austin attacks Punk and then waits a minute, as if to say he's waiting for Cena to come down to cash in the MITB briefcase but when nothing happens, he walks off and tells Cena as he leaves that he's a pussy and a coward and LITERALLY takes the briefcase from Cena, stripping Cena of his chance to cash in.

    We then slow build rebuild Austin's entire character as a purely evil bastard, under the logic that Austin, after being humiliated and beaten by Ziggler, realizes that he has sold out and become a fraud and that he's getting back to his evil bastard roots. He aligns himself with Ziggler (respecting Ziggler for making Austin realize what a loser he had been) and appears randomly to beat the shit out of the good guys save for Punk. He wants Punk to be scared shitless as Austin sees Punk as a usurper and wants him destroyed. 

    He also has the money in the bank briefcase and Vince effectively tells Cena that if he doesn't have the briefcase he doesn't have a title shot and having Austin beat the shit out of Cena a couple of time.

    Finally at Royal Rumble, Austin cashes in the briefcase and Punk loses the belt. Setting up Punk going after Austin at WM and winning it back.    

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  41. Holy crap.  You managed to promote Jesse and give him a tagline or catchphrase.  That was just...awesome.  Time to create a website and/or t-shirts.

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  42. SPOILER ALERT.

    Heath Slater will defeat Gillberg tonight.

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  43. lol, reminds me of Detective Homer Simpson, "and that's the end of THAT...chapter."

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  44. And lectures us all on why we should hate "the gays."  And he'll also let us in on a special offer for Warrior-nomics: How to Invest in These Times of Destucity.  For 3 easy payments of $29.99!

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  45. Yes!  That is perfect.

    "
    The name's Poochie D.
    And I rock the telly.
    I'm half Joe Camel and a third Fonzarelli.
    I'm the Kung-Fu hippie, from Gangsta City.
    I'm a rappin' surfer.
    You the fool I pity."

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  46. The only way Ross will be involved is if he is BURIED by Vinny Mac yet again.  Book it.

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  47. "New theme song, according to Entertainment Weekly, is "Tonight is the Night" by Outtasight."

    Are you freaking serious?  I mean I was REALLY sick of the awful Nickelback song, but I'd take that in a heartbeat over that piece of crap.

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  48. I have to go now. My planet needs me.

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  49. It's not Nickelbak, anything is an improvement.

    Seriously, Call Me Maybe could be the new Raw Theme and it would be better than Nickelback.

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  50. Hey, hey....if we're promoting stuff, I'm going to shill a product I talked about in another thread...

    "Scott Steiner's Guide to Conditioning: 12 Easy Steps to be Completely Out of Gas in 12 Seconds"

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  51. Dude--be careful what you wish for!

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  52. Face facts.. The CM Punk as champ/on top era is over tonight.. Long live SuperCena

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  53. Ugh. Why? What demographic is that for? Can't they either make their own jingle or at least use some kind of rock song.

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  54. I'll be watching tonight's show! I'll be participating in this thread too, something I haven't done while watching a live show in quite some time.

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  55.  Jake Roberts and the Undertaker will spoil the wedding.

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  56. First raw I've watched live since since 06. Probably won't watch another live raw until the 20th anniversary show. Watching raw on youtube tuesday morning is just a lot more fun.

    And my money's on Undertaker being Slater's final raw opponent. Don't you guys know Austin's filming schedule makes it "highly unlikely" he'll be on Raw? ::coughbullshitcough::

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  57. I predict vkm hits the ring to start the show, brings a camera man into the ring with him, drops his pants, has the camera zoom in on his cheeks and makes us all join the kiss my ass club. Then 25% of the people that post here will defend it as good tv.

    I also think we get undertaker cutting some kind of promo during hhh/brock to set up wm.

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  58. If it's 2 hours of nostalgia pops and one killer main event, I am going to love this show. I've been waiting to pop for a Steve Blackman cameo all day.

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  59. 1000 comments!  Let's make it happen, Doomers!

    Maybe we can get some special guest appearances from famous commenters of the past.  Any requests?

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  60. ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN ON MONDAY NIGHT RAW!!!

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  61. Wrestling Observer posted a picture of the new Raw logo. It's pretty much.... the same as the old logo. 

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  62. That would be fantastic. It would make this the most commented blog post in the history of episodic sports entertainment blog posting. 

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  63. I'LL MAKE ST. LOUIS THE NEW "MONTREAL" IF CM PUNK WANTS TO TRY ME.

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  64. I was trying to log in and reply that same shit, but i was getting oral pleasure.

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  65. just get ryan drunk and chin in a online spat with some jay-brone.

    750.

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  66. Elvy?!
    Dannytreo?!
    MRoberts21?!

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  67. Definitely need elvy. Charlie, and most importantly, the legendary MRobert to give his opinion on surprise appearances from Blandy Boreton, Black Lesnar, and Nipple H.

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  68. TWATTER wasn't available?

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  69. If they're going to do ancient songs, they should have just gone back to Phil Collins "Take Me Home"

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  70. Do all the kids spell it with a "Ph-" now? I did not know that.

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  71. Didn't Nitro jump the shark when they changed their logo?

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  72. Only if they're wearing wigs.

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  73. Oh, you beat me to the MRoberts request!
     
    Someone get Charlie Reneke in for a cameo!
     
    And has Sean Shannon been contacted?  If Bret and Vince are working together again, it could happen!

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  74. We just had to let it play out.

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  75. "The point is that I can say anything I want to these idiots, and they'll still cheer for me!"

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  76. Wow ichiro to the yankees. Chin any thoughts?

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  77. Ha ha ha!! I would actually pay money for MRoberts to come back one night to recap Raw and fight with everyone in the comments again.

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  78. The real RAW thread is up now. Don't gas yourself out here!

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  79. I hate this so very, very much. When people think of the Mariners, they think of Ichiro. 

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  80. Poochie could've been bigger than curly fries!

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  81. HBK vs Max Moon in a rematch of the first Raw match ever.

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  82. Gettin' brain, bein' a smark, livin' the dream.

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  83.  Or they just get Jackie Gayda to wear a tube top, no one would notice.

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  84. I dont think K-dogg has the (kidney) stones for it.

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  85. Its been way too long since charlie been here.

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  86. Fail.

    You forgot Goldturd.

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  87.  Not drinking tonight. Had one beer earlier. And I don't fake it, so yall get to miss out.

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  88. Scott Keith doesnt lay down for ANYBODY!!!

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  89. I wouldn't be surprised if they don't name a new GM tonight... they seemed to drop the angle last week, as they made no mention of it and last week didn't contain a "GM from the past".

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  90.  No it's not... he already beat Doink!!!

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  91. But Ryan think of the children!

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  92.  Ugh, baseball sometimes...

    What the hell with the Mariners though, do they not make revenue to get some players around Ichiro?  I don't blame him wanting to leave after all these years.

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  93.  Problem is, why would losing to Punk make Cena flip out?  He's already lost 1,000 times and has never given a shit (including to Rock where he yukked it up the next night).

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  94.  That's awesome... as he walks away and dusts off his hands.

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  95. That would be awful enough to be a major let-down, which is what usually happens when we all get our hopes up for something great... and it could set up a TRIPLE THREAT match at SummerSlam!!

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  96. What were you eating? I bet it was chili fries.

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  97. I'm going to call a lame finish in the title match, with Big Show interfering... setting up a thrilling triple threat match at SummerSlam.  Yep, that sucks... but when's the last time they actually did something huge when we all expected it?

    I also think that they realized at some point today that they have too much shit and postpone the wedding until next week.

    I'm going with Undertaker as the man to finish off Heath Slater this week.

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  98. The logo hardly had anything to do with it. 

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  99. Hey, I just met you
    I'm bat-shit craaaazy
    You geeks all love me
    Just call me AJ

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  100.  Dannytreo and Charlie Reneke HAVE to come back.

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  101. How many other members of DX are we going to get?  X-Pac?  Billy Gunn?  Chyna?  Jim Neidhart?  Boogeyman?  Rick Rude?

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  102. I think it was Paul Diamond under the mask by the time it made it to Raw anyway.

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  103. Well I can already bitch about not liking the new theme song.

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  104. I am, that's the problem. Once the kiddo goes to bed maybe I'll have a sip or two, but I'm saving myself for my buddy's bday party on Friday. Which might mean a little Friday Night Drunkdown, depending on how drunk I get.

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  105. I couldn't find it, either.

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  106. Man its kind of a major pain in the ass to watch raw at 5pm. I can safely say this will be the last time I watch this show without dvr

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  107. That Pizza Hut Garlic Bread Pizza commercial is giving me some serious cravings...too bad they don't deliver.

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  108. For what it's worth I'm actually starting to get into dubstep. I can't do it all day long but at least it's something I haven't heard before, everything else I'm listening to lately sounds like a retro version of something else. Hard rock is completely dead, rap has been spinning in circles, alt rock/indie has somehow turned into Eurodisco with faux-poetic lyrics, and most radio pop sounds like watered down dubstep anyway. Fuck it, onward and downward, at least it's not boring. 

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  109. I actually met Steve Blackman's father about a month ago. I asked if I could help him carry something, and he gave me a glare like he was going to snap my neck for even implying that he may not be able to lift something heavy.

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  110. Shouldn't you be hitting the Grey Goose right about now?

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  111. That was a great opening video, brought back SO many memories, mostly from the 90s.

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  112. That was a suitably epic intro.

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  113. *sniff sniff*

    i smell money!!!

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  114. They said Suck It!  Are we PG-13 now?

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  115. Shawn has not aged well this last year...

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  116. DX putting Sandow over??

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  117. That was a very good DX reunion!

    I REALLY like the new graphics also!!!

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  118. This show just got better, Jim Ross in the house!!!! As long as they have him a STUPID skit, I'm fine.

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  119. So damien sandow gets to come out in the opening segment and get some great lines in on dx, then gets to bump around for their finishers. That was a fantastic opening and should help sandow get over more

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  120. I kind of wish I could have my vote back on the disqus old vs new thing. I now wish I had voted for the new one.

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  121. AJ as the Raw General Manager??? SMH

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  122. Wasn't the computer/Hornswaggle reveal last week? (This shit gets increasingly hard to remember doesn't it...)

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  123.  For a brief second there I though you said "Call Me Al" by Paul Simon. That would have been better then the shitty song we got.

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  124. Hey, HEY.

    Two things are off limits on this site: Phil Collins, and Philadelphia Collins.

    WUT ARE YA LOOKIN AT MY GUT FURR!!

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