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August Leftovers: Road Wild 97

The Netcop Rant for WCW Road Wild 1997.

(This was of course written at the time of the show, so don’t expect much here quality-wise.) 

How *does* WCW manage to do it?  They have a perfectly respectable, albeit boring, PPV going, then in the span of two matches they fuck it up and flush the whole mess down the toilet. Amazing. They don't pay Bischoff enough for his talents.   (But he apparently got some good side-benefits at the strip clubs.)  The story of the show is basically bad for a good chunk of the show, then it gets good for two matches, then it goes down the crapper again. Easy thumbs down just for the poor match quality alone.

On with the rant...

Opening match:

Buffy The Vampire Slayer (That one would have worked better if Bagwell was feuding with Vampiro) and Flapjack Norton v. Harlem Heat.

(The Buffy joke was still pretty obscure at that point, as it wasn’t exactly a runaway hit back then.  Although I only started watching last year on Netflix, and now I’m doing the Angel-Buffy alternating thing at the start of season 4.  Season 3 was pretty much one of the best seasons of TV I think I’ve ever seen and “The Zeppo” might be one of the best single episodes ever.)  I think Harlem Heat has just about hit the wall of usefulness to the WCW regime at this point, and it's showing here.  (Indeed, because by the end of the year they would be broken up and Booker pushed as a single.)  The Heat promises a surprise, which everyone and their brother knows is Jackie, and who should come out to interfere for them but the ugly woman in the ugly flesh. (Meow.  Seriously though, Jackie was a terrible fit for the Heat, and only there because she was black.)  Everyone just phones this one in, a trend picked up by the rest of the card. Harlem Heat wins, of course. **1/2

K-Dog v. Rey Mysterio Jr.

Oh, yay, my day just wouldn't be complete without having to endure a Konnan match. (My god 97 Scott was angry about this show.)  This is a "Mexican grudge death match" whatever that means. What is this "Arriba La Raza" shit, anyway?  (Eddie kind of appropriated that one for himself later on.)  Shut the hell up, Chuck.  Just about the most boring "death match" I've ever seen, as Chucky works over the leg again and again and again and again. This is not Rey's type of match. He valiantly tries to inject two or three highspots into it, but Chuck's having none of that. "No workrate in *my* matches!" I can hear him saying now. I'M SICK OF EVERY GUY IN WCW PUTTING THIS WORTHLESS PIECE OF SHIT OVER! (Price of doing business, compadre.)  Most pointless bit in a pointless match: K-Dog tries to unmask Rey. Borrrrrrrrinnnnnnng. Charles "I'm a Piece of Shit but I have all the Mexican guys by the cajones" Ashinoff (I had a weird running joke thing going way back then where I posited that Konnan wasn’t actually Mexican but rather a white guy from New Jersey.)  wins via tap-out (fuck! I hate the tap-out) to the Tequila Sunrise. (What’s wrong with the tap out?  I guess any sort of change from the traditional tropes of wrestling was an issue.)  * for the few moves pulled out by Rey.  (I’m betting it was at least a little better than that.) 

Steve MacMichael/Chris Benoit v. Jeff Jarrett/Dean Malenko.

I'm busy chatting with CanSen and Brother Zen during this one, so I'm not really paying attention to the lack of action leading up to the first elimination. I sort of tune in when Jarrett purposely eliminates himself, thus furthering this excruciating angle, but that interest is killed as Dean gets squashed by the Horsemen 2-on-1. What-fucking-ever. Just turn Malenko already and have Jarrett dragged by his balls through the parking lot and GET IT OVER WITH. I'm sick of seeing this idiot get pushed week after week in this stupid angle THAT NO ONE CARES ABOUT while he's wearing the US title that he doesn't deserve. He's not over, he's not talented, and NO ONE CARES. They're not going to care. Just give it up already, WCW, and fire the stiff.  AAAAAAGGGGGGHHHH, I'm going insane here. ** (JJ did in fact quit soon after dropping the title to Mongo in September.) 

Alright, next match.

Alex Wright v. Chris Jericho.

I DON'T CARE!!!!  I DON'T FUCKING CARE!!!!  I feel like screaming that every time I see the cruiserweight title defended these days. This is an okay match, I guess, but so what? Who cares? Who cares if Alex wins? Who cares if Jericho wins? What difference does it make if either guy walks out with the title? None. That's why this particular title is now meaningless. It's a time-filling jobber title. Syxx has now succeeded in ruining an entire division of wrestlers. Congratulations. Wright wins, but it doesn't matter because all the talented guys are jobbing to K-dog. **1/2  (I’m starting to feel like I should track this show down and do a non-psychotic version of the rant.) 

Suxx v. Ric Flair.

And speaking of the evil one...remind again why this idiot is getting pushed into matches with Flair?  Kevin who? Scott who? Ugh, fuck I hate politics. Continuing the ongoing trend, both guys dial this one in 1-800-Collect. This is a pretty bad match even by Flair's recently lowered standards. Suxx gets his idiotic rider move in at one point. Restholds galore. BOOOOOORRRRRRINNNNNNG. The one good spot of the match comes at the end: Suxx tries his gay move (by that I meant self-indulgent and a waste of time, much like this rant), but Flair gives him the ol' "knacker-whacker" to block it and pins him with feet on the ropes. I'm happier about the match ending than anything... **

The show so far:

5 matches, nothing over **1/2 and I'm going insane watching the least talented guys get the biggest push.

But it does get brighter for two matches...

Curt Hennig v. DDP.

(Weren’t they just teaming up for Hennig’s debut at the PPV before this?  So he turned on DDP, turned babyface again and joined the Horsemen, and then turned heel on THEM to join the nWo all within the span of two months?!) Hennig has the lamest music in wrestling now.  (That would soon change!)  Get thee an orchestra, Curt.  There was a time in the AWA when I thought these two guys were the same person, seriously. (Well I was 14 at the time, what did I know?)  Kim's lookin' good. Curt's lookin' fat. Best match of the night, easily. Hennig controls the match most of the way through with the usual moves. You know the routine. Those motorcycles are really fucking annoying.  Ref bump gives Hennig the opportunity to expose a turnbuckle, knocking out DDP. He hits the Move-Formerly-Known-As-The-Perfectplex but DDP kicks out.  Ref bump again, and Flair runs in, KO's DDP, Hennig gets the win. Booking makes no sense, but the match was very watchable so I'll forgive DDP jobbing yet again and the non-sensical Horsemen angle.  ***1/2

The Giant v. Randy Savage.

Not really much to say here.  Paul Wight remains one of the most watchable guys in wrestling.  Giant controls the beginning, Savage turns the tide, but gets caught in the chokeslam.  SEE YA!  Fun match, but nothing overly notable, which is not always a bad thing.  *** (Giant v. Savage in 1997 doesn’t exactly sound like a *** match.) 

Rant:

Up until this point, there was a good lack of screwjob endings and outside interference, Flair be damned.

Then came the tag title match...

The Outsiders v. Rick & Scott Steiner.

Speaking of teams outliving their usefulness, it's time to job the Outsiders out and let Kevin spread his singles wings. (Shit, I’m the one who gave them that idea.)  Scott plays Ricky Morton here and takes MASSIVE abuse for like 15 minutes without a tag.  Kick, punch, clothesline, nothing notable here. Nash looks way old with blond hair. Now the Outsiders are doing the "suck my dick!" routine patented by Suxx.  (I’m referring to the crotch chop there, by the way, back before it had a formal name.)  Okay, so Scott has wrestled the entire match, give or take, and gotten the beating of his life by the Outsiders.  FINALLY, he makes the hot tag. Rick comes in, does one or two quick moves, then the Steiners hit the bulldog off the top on Hall. 1, 2, Nash pulls out Nick Patrick for the DQ.  This is, by far, perhaps the biggest bullshit screwjob ending I've seen in months.  (Sounds like every match on RAW we see now.)  This not only defies the storyline for the past 6 months, but it defies the storyline of the match itself. Ladies and gentlemen, this is now officially a WCW Dead End Angle (tm). Everything has built to the Steiners winning the tag belts, and they've been screwed out of them in the blowoff match that they needed 6 months to earn. (Yeah, but they’d get their rematch and win the titles…from Hall and Syxx.)  This is just complete and utter bullshit and just the kind of crap I'd expect from the nWo masturbatory booking brigade.  Fuck you, WCW.  (Man, I’m just going all Jesse Baker on them!) 

Next match.

And finally...

Lex Luger v. Hulk Hogan for the WCW World title.

Luger finally gets to wear the 10 pounds of gold he should have been wearing 9 years ago, and it looks a little out of place on him.  Not a good omen.  Lex the Bouncing Babyface irks me for some reason.  Although back in 1988, I was Luger Mark #1.  Hogan is in full cowardly heel mode here.  Crappy match. Hogan dishes out 99% of the offense, which consists of about 4 moves. Kick, punch, choke, whatever.  Hogan yaks more than the announcers. Luger takes nonstop punishment for 20 minutes, then Hogan misses the legdrop and Luger revives.  The entire nWo comes out, including Sting (the real one? who knows.) (Yeah, the real Sting.  Moron.)  and 5 of them storm the ring. Luger takes care of all of them, but gets whacked in the back by Sting's bat coming off the ropes, legdrop, new champion, fuck you WCW.  1/2*

After the end, the nWo re-annoints the belt with their buddy Rodman.  I hope Hogan dies.  Seriously.  I'm just beyond being sick of this nWo crap.  (Two more years of it to come!)  I'm tired of these cheap cop-out endings and 5-on-1 attacks with no DQ. (Lots more years of that to come too!)  Why does Nick Patrick DQ the Outsiders for pulling him out of the ring but Randy Anderson doesn't DQ Hogan for having the entire Roman Legion storm the ring when he's in trouble? Fuck it, I don't care.  I'm sure Nitro will win with a 10.0 over RAW tomorrow, it doesn't matter. (Not for much longer.)  I'll keep watching the WWF and hoping Hogan's plane blows up tomorrow so I never have to watch him book himself over everyone else who deserves the title more than him again.  What a shitty PPV.

As always, I remain the net.cop. (Until someone threatens a lawsuit and Sean Shannon caves in.) 

Comments


  1. (I had a weird running joke thing going way back then where I posited that Konnan wasn’t actually Mexican but rather a white guy from New Jersey.
    Well, you're half-not wrong; he's Cuban-American. 

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  2. Wonder if Sean is still blogging.

    Wait, didn't he have a sex change operation?

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  3. this is the kind of awesome rant that got me started reading Scott's stuff in the first place.

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  4. I have a question related to this.

    In some other rant that I can't remember, you referenced the title change from the Nitro before this where Luger won the title and basically said everyone knew he was walking out of Nitro with the belt.  Was that a rumor that got out or am I forgetting something from back then?

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  5. I'm a big Buffy fan and I don't even remember the Zeppo. Some of the stuff to come in seasons four and five is simply amazing, you will absolutely love Hush. That's probably the best episode j. The series run.

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  6. I recall "knowing" that as well because I had the foresight to tape Nitro and Raw that night.mi think the deal was Raw was moving to the 8-10 pm slot, so Nitro went to three hours and promised something big, the Hogan/Luger match was scheduled the week before (and at Road Wild), so everyone just put 2 and 2 together.

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  7. Did the Giant have some sort of quality match streak in 1997 that just completely erased itself from my mind?  Scott is definitely excited to see him work!

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  8. Wow...remember when 1-800-Collect was a thing? I miss the 90s

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  9. The Zeppo was the Xander episode where he was facing peer pressure from undead football players while the rest of the Scoobies fought a giant threat to all mankind off-screen.  

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  10. "Paul Wight remains one of the most watchable guys in wrestling."

    Really?

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  11. I love the rage you showed against the product and how you used it to point out all of the flaws in WCW at that time. However, you probably should do a re-rant sometime, like you said. I'm certainly not great or anything but some of the star ratings in this are way off, IMO. Konnan/Rey was a fine match and ***1/2 for DDP/Hennig is quite generous.

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  12. Funny, I just watched a Nitro match between Flair and DDP from around this time. Hennig causes the dq, they beat down DDP, he fights back, chases them off...so from what I can tell, DDP was a face. The Horsemen were the Horsemen so they were heels, but they were faces compared to the nWo. So when September rolled around, one bad guy turned on the group of bad guys while they were fighting off the badder guys. 

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  13. Yeah, I think it is time for a re-rant, much like the one you did for Superbrawl VIII.

    Honestly I don't remember anything about this show except for the PPV cutting off just after Hogan got the pin.

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  14. Interestingly enough, Luger was booked to face The Giant at Road Wild all through June and July, but plans changed suddenly at the end of July.

    I'll assume because of the announcement of RAW moving, they changed the match to Luger/Hogan so they could give Luger the win on the big 100th episode of Nitro show.

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  15. The Zeppo is fucking amazing. Seasons 2 and 3 are undoubtedly the high mark of the show before they split half the good characters out to Angel.

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  16. Yeah, this rant is pretty sad. It's pretty obvious that you weren't going to give the show a chance at all. And the nicknames are mrobert21 level. Reminds me of the 97 bashes rants.

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  17. ha ha, this rant is glorious in its hate and venom.  If a poster commented in similar fashion today, the anti-smark smarks would flame away mercilessly.  This show, in a different setting (i.e. not Hog Wild), would be an average show.  I HATED Hog Wild.  Then again, you gotta give credit to Bischoff for trying different venues and looks to ppv's even if some didn't work.

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  18. According to him.  Or her.

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  19. Yeah, I don't think there is anything wrong with deriding a show you hate, but I like how he does it now better with the clever little jabs or pointing out logical flaws.  Just a bit more reserved and analytical I guess haha.

    Stuff like all of the exclamation points, CAPS-LOCK and the poker in the ass rating systems sorta make me cringe and remind me of my first posts as a teenager to RSPW in 1995/1996.

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  20. Summerslam 97 had three really good matches.  Don't see how it's considered a terrible show.

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  21. No, it's not a terrible show, but it's pretty mediocre.  I liked the opener and Bret vs Undertaker, but I'd peg them both at *** to *** 1/2 matches with everything else falling below it.

    I'm thinking more of the sum of two shows though -- if Summer Slam was a 2.5 on a five point scale and Road Wild was a 1.0, can you think of two shows that occured in the same month that would have a lower composite?

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  22. I give Bischoff credit for trying something different. I then take all of that credit away for sticking with it well past the point where he should have realized it was a terrible idea.

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  23. Threadjack, but I just saw on the NY Times page that Neil Armstrong died.  I don't know why but this really bothers me lol  I guess I just always thought of him as a young man, I didn't even realize he was 82.

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  24. Season four and five had a few good episodes, but overall...eeesh.

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  25. I loved 3 originally but these days I find Eliza Dushku's shitty acting and the (otherwise awesome) Mayor's total lack of menace too weak.

    2 and 5 for me. And I still think they should have ended it there.

    But, I'd have to say the last season of Angel is the best overall. Not a single weak episode, and so many highlights it's just insane.

    "Ciao!"

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  26. Agreed.  It's a major flaw with promoters in general.  They tend to drive something good into the ground.

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  27. I'm sure if you searched hard enough, you could pair up a shitty WWE ppv from the last 3 years with something from TNA.  The problem with most of those TNA shows is that nobody watched them.

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  28. I love how someones treasure is somebody else's shit.  I hated the direction the final season of Angel took.  Completely took me out of the show.

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  29. all around that was mediocre ppv,the cracks stated from there to appear as the nwo were starting really to get stale AND THEY DRAGGED THE NWO FOR TWO MORE YEARS just like scott said,but it had some ok moments this ppv like the ddp match

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  30. I preferred to dial down the center with 1-800-CALL-ATT

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  31.  for me fallbrawl 98.  ONE....yes ONE match over one star.

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  32. Is that the one with the goofy Wargames match and Warrior tearing the cage down (and his bicep)?  Luckily I missed that one haha.

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  33. Yeah, I'm thinking strictly WWE/WCW though.  WCW had a bunch of awful PPVs in the summer of 1999, was Fully Loaded 1999 any good?

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  34. Like the aforementioned DDP. Elsewhere on this blog, the general consensus was Page's first world title reign was a good idea, the two after that were huge mistakes.

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  35. I was there live, it was OK.

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  36. I think Scott was drunk for most of the late 90's...

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  37. "Gypsies, phewy, we never speak of them again!"

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  38. If it did, did anyone notice the difference? 

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  39.  I remember Bad Blood 2003. Just an awful, awful show. At least 30 minutes of it was devoted to Austin and Bischoff playing these stupid minigames.

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  40. Personally, I would like to see the Hot Poker Up The Ass ratings system reinstated. I also would love Scott to do 2012 treatment and countdown of all the PPVs that were given the Hot Poker treatment. All in favor?

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  41. Ha! I was gonna make the exact same comment with the exact same punchline ;)

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  42. I'm sure anyone he/she had sex with noticed.

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  43. Scott, about your "running joke" on Konnan, the joke's actually on you.  He's NOT Mexican, he's a Cuban-American. 

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  44.  That "Wargames" tape should be locked up in a vault and never be spoken of again.  I paid for that shit and it may actually be worse than the "Dungeon of Doom" or whatever match.  Horrific on every level.

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  45. I just thought of one: King Of The Ring '99/Great American Bash '99.

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  46. Those are both great choices haha.  I think I'll give the nod to the 93 shows actually, both of those were terrible.

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  47. OMG, I paid for that trainwreck too.
    I still kick myself to this day for choosing that show over Breakdown, but Breakdown looked like a show where nothing major was going to happen like say Austin losing his title.

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  48. R.I.P. to a great American hero.

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  49. Yeah, these are the rants I was referring to in a previous blog post when I said I'd like to see you re-rant on WCW 1997 PPV's. For my money, I think it was WCW's best years outside of the NWA umbrella. Lot of good/great wrestling and while the Hogan main events tended to suck, there was still a degree of logic in them and the fans were way into anything nWo.

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  50. It's weird that I skipped it actually -- not sure how because I ordered most WCW shows from late 1995 till late 1999.  I think I ordered every PPV in 1998 except for Road Wild (who wants to see Jay Leno wrestle?) and Fall Brawl.  Road Wild actually did a great buyrate as I recall too.

    Some to think of it, I didn't order Breakdown either, so not sure what I was into that much that prevented me from spending my money on PPV that month lol

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  51. At one point Hennig was using a knockoff of Joe Satriani's "Surfing with the Alien."  Better not be hatin' on that.

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  52. Until someone threatens a lawsuit and Sean Shannon caves in.

    I still remember the re-direct to the rape page.

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  53. It's beginning to turn into a samoan relations situation for me.  

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  54. I never seen this show, and I'm so glad I never took the time out to watch it either, based on ALL the reviews I've read, including this one.

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  55.  This would be my pick also for least favorite show I watched live. I can name so many more, but this one immediately comes to mind.

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  56.  I rented this one tape years later (and I'm still not sure why, lol) and it was one of the worst shows I ever seen.

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  57.  Summerslam 97 wasn't bad or great, but somewhere in the middle, and I do agree, it had 3 really good matches.

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  58.  I liked Fully Loaded 1999 a lot at the time. I haven't seen it in quite some time, but it would definitely be good to revisit it and see if it has gotten better with time.

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  59.  Yes, another Satch fan! 

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  60.  Oh, you have to re-watch The Zeppo.  It's a one-off episode with plenty of comedy.  It follows Xander on his crazy escapades while the Scooby gang averts another apocalypse.

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  61.  How are you liking Buffy Season 4 so far?  It's a little uneven in some places, but I thought the majority of the episodes were strong.  The roommate one, The Initiative (ep 7, I think), Something Blue, Hush, Fear Itself, Who You Are, Superstar, and the Yoko Factor are all pretty darn good, in my opinion.

    Then again, I'm a Spike mark.

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  62.  I will admit my ignorance but I don't know what the hell you mean by the "samoan relations" bit.  Can anyone explain it to me because that totally went over my head.  As a Cuban American, should I be offended by this?

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  63.  I would have sworn he typoed "unwatchable" but then he gave the match 3 stars so who knows. It would take at least 12 years for Big Show to even be considered "watchable" and even then he's no one's first choice.

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  64.  Breakdown was one of those shows that seemed like it was going to be a nothing show and ended up being kind of important. One of the few I ordered around that time, it was on my birthday that year I think.

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  65.  If I'm not mistaken someone else used a knockoff of Eric Johnson's "Cliffs of Dover" somewhere around this time. Someone in the Turner music department must have been a really big guitar-virtuoso music geek.

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  66. And then we got thirty minutes of Triple H and Nash chasing each other around with screwdrivers inside Hell in a Cell.

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  67. Compared to Season 4, the last season was a masterpiece. 

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  68. Eh, I thought the HHH/Nash HiaC match wasn't too bad.

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  69. It's a surprisingly wrestling-centric show at the time but the crowd was pretty dead throughout most of it.

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  70. I actually liked his non-Hogan matches in 1995/1996.  It was fun to see what he'd break out every week -- his backbreaker was lame, but the dropkick and the top rope dropkick he'd dust off every now and again were pretty cool to see.

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  71. In wrestling, all Samoans are related.

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  72. It was OK at best, but when the best seller in a match is the ref.......

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  73. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rSX1VvNICY8

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