July 31, 2002
Your hosts are Mike Tenay, Don West, and Ed Ferrara
NWA-TNA X Division Championship Match
AJ Styles (Champion) w/Jerry
vs. “Prime Time” Elix Skipper Lynn
Thoughts: Disappointing match. On commentary,
kept putting over the fast-paced style of the X-Division and the match was not like that at all. The two, especially AJ, were having an off night. Skipper working on the neck to set up his finisher made sense but AJ wasn’t selling it very well. Lynn
Announcers plug Ricky Steamboat returning and state how he has called Malice and Shamrock, along with others last wee. States that Shamrock now has the belt that Malice stole last week.
says that Jarrett has guts for not conforming to Steamboat. Tenay says that Steamboat has lifted Jarrett’s 60 day suspension at the request of Scott Hall. Ferrara
Monty Brown’s music hits and comes out as Skipper is walking up the aisle. He beats the crap out of him as revenge for Skipper setting up Brown to get attacked by The Truth last week.
Jeff Jarrett comes to the ring with a burlap sack, with what appears to be a person inside. He cuts the promo with Skipper still on the ground withering in pain. He mentions how he did not show up to the meeting but says he will now abide to what Behrens said about starting at bottom and working way to the top. He unties the sack, revealing midget wrestler Todd Stone tied up and gagged. Jarrett says he will cripple a midget on PPV. He hits a piledriver and a “mini-stroke.” He asks for old women in the back to fight but Puppet the Psycho Dwarf comes out upset and Jarrett says that tonight, he is the “Dwarf Destroyer.” Puppet responds by calling him “slapnuts” and then pulls out a gun. Yes, a midget waving a gun live on PPV. Security comes in the ring and that allows Jarrett to hit him from behind with a chair several times. Steamboat comes out, flanked by Don Harris and Bob Armstrong, and says that he will not be like Jim Miller or Bill Behrens. Jarrett offers a deal in which he will fight Steamboat and if he loses, he will be suspended but if he wins, he will get a title shot. Steamboat goes in the ring but Scott Hall sneaks in from behind and beats Jarrett. Security runs out to restrain Jarrett as Hall pulls out a stretcher that looks like it was used as a prop on the set of “MASH” and says that tonight, Jarrett will go out on a stretcher. Words cant describe how bad this entire segment played out.
Goldylocks is with Sonny Siaki. Siaki refers to himself in the third person. He tells Goldylocks not to check out his ass without his permission, which causes Goldylocks to crack up a bit. She is just awful in her role. He then says he gave Estrada and Yang the night off because everyone wants to see him. The gimmick is fine but Siaki just doesn’t have good promo skills. He has a good look and isn’t a bad worker but he really can’t deliver on the mic.
Slash w/James Mitchell vs. Sonny Siaki
Siaki ducks a clothesline and poses but then gets backed into the corner and stomped repeatedly. Mitchell joins the announcer’s table and places down a box, which he states is the “Blood of the Audad.” Siaki gets two off of a flipping legdrop. Slash tries a sunsetflip powerbomb to the floor but Siaki counters that with a hurricarana. He whips Slash into the guardrail and then backdrops him onto the floor. He rolls him back in and gets a tope con
for two. Slash ducks a clothesline and gets the Eye of the Hurricane for two. He beats on Siaki and then gauges his eyes. Helicopter slam by Slash gets two as Mitchell says that the hilo will be making an example out of Siaki tonight. Mitchell leaves the booth and Slash locks Siaki in the Cobra Clutch. Slash breaks that with a legsweep for two. Siaki charges at Slash but gets booted. Both men then climb to the top but end up getting crotched. Slash misses a swanton and both men are down. Siaki sends him down with a discus punch. Pumphandle suplex gets two for Siaki. Snap suplex by Siaki and he heads up top but misses the senton. Mitchell distracts the ref and Slash puts a hood over Siaki’s head and hits a neckbreaker for the pin (7:37)*1/2. After the match, Mitchell brings the Blood of the Audad andsays it can be used to anoint or desecrate. He then dabs it on his finger and paints it on Siaki’s face. Don Harris comes in and powerbombs Slash. Malice runs out and the two have words. New Church
Thoughts: Another attempt at trying to get over the
as a major heel stable. Match was fine and it was the first time that a member of the New Church has won a match. I have no idea what happened to Tempest as he was nowhere to be seen. New Church
Goldylocks with Steamboat. She is wearing a new shirt, which is an anti-Dupp shirt. She asks him about the chaos in TNA. Steamboat says that he will serve the NWA law written by the forefathers. He calls out Malice and Jarrett and says he will serve the law. Steamboat gets annoyed that Goldylocks compared him to Bill Behrens and walked away, with Bruce of the Rainbow Express chasing after him.
The Truth comes out. He sees the TNA dancer, who is black, in the cage. Mind you this girl has not been shown at all in TNA before tonight. Truth tells her that “they” have her dancing like an animal and that she is being exposed for money. He mocks her and says that she is nothing more than a “two dollar ho.” Truth gets slapped and tries to go into the cage with her but Monty Brown comes out and beats him up all over the crowd. Truth eventually gets the upper hand and beats Brown with a 2x4. Security checks on Brown as there is a loud “TNA” chant. Decent segment. It got over Killings as a heel and furthered the feud with Brown.
Steamboat is now in the ring. He calls out the Truth and says that he has his attention. He asks Truth to come out and ask about “them.” Steamboat asks if “them” is about skin color or authority. Truth says that Steamboat is not part of “them.” He gives proof of that by stating how Steamboat was treated as a second class citizen in the WWF because he only got the Intercontinental Belt and was not given a shot at the World title. Truth says Steamboat can change all of this injustice by giving him a title shot. Steamobat then agrees and Truth is ecstatic and starts to rap one of his songs. It was kinda strange that Steamboat just called out the Truth after he was in the previous segment. Also, having Steamboat, who was supposed to bring authority to TNA, caved into a heel’s demand quite easily.
Malice w/James Mitchell vs. Apolo
They take turns beating on each other for a bit. Apolo then fucks up a top rope hurricarana big time. He clotheslines Malice ot the outside and follows out with a suicide dive. Apolo is then backdropped outside but lands on his feet. He drags Malice out and chops him a few times. Malice reverses an Irish whip and sends Apolo into the post. He rams him into the post again. He beats on Malice some more outside of the ring. Apolo then sends Malice into the guardrail and does it again. More chops by Malice. Apolo tries a rana but Malice counters into a powerbomb, getting two. Apolo is bleeding from his forehead and Malice tries to open the cut. He places Apolo up top and gets a superplex for two. A Slam followed by a middle rope legdrop gets two. Malice catches Apolo’s foot but Apolo manages a rollup for two. Malice catches Apolo but gets caught with a DDT. Apolo then gets a superkick for the win (6:31) ¾*. After the match, Malice chokeslams the ref. He then attempts to chokeslam Apolo but Don Harris runs in for the save. Slash comes in and puts the hood on Harris before getting the neckbreaker. Mitchell in with the Blood of the Audad and smears it on Harris’s face.
Thoughts: They spend all of this time trying to make Malice seem like a big monster yet he hasn’t won a single match yet. He is 0-4 in TNA so far at this point. The match wasn’t that good. Apolo tried to wrestle an X-Division style match and did not do a good job at all with those types of moves. Plus, Malice isn’t a good worker to begin with. This Blood of the Audad stuff is corny though, especially from a stable that never seems to be able to win anything.
Don West brings out Miss TNA, Taylor Vaughn. Bruce comes out and says he was inspired by the Truth and is sick of being treated like a second class citizen. He challenges
for the Miss TNA title. She accepts by hitting Bruce with a low blow. Taylor
Miss TNA Crown
Taylor Vaughn (Champion) vs. Bruce
Vaughn takes off her shoes and throwsthem at Bruce. Suplex by Vaughn gets two. Slam gets two. She charges at Bruce and they roll around on the mat for a bit. Bruce slams her down then pulls her up by the hair. He puts her in an abdominal stretch then hits a slam. Vaughn rolls out of the way from a top rope legdrop. Bruce then catches her in a tilt-a-whirl facebuster for the win (2:07) ¼*. The ref places the tiara and sash on Bruce as he is emotional. Tenay wonders if Lenny is proud or jealous.
Thoughts: This was a waste. No one cared about the Miss TNA Title to begin with and adding Bruce to the mix just makes everyone else wish that it was kept away.
Goldy with Low Ki, who is doing pull-ups. He reiterates to her that he does his talking in the ring and heasds to the ring for his match.
Low Ki vs. Jerry Lynn w/AJ Styles
AJ joins the booth. They lock up a few times then do some matwork, which featured a lot of over-choreographed rehearsals. Both men struggle to get an advantage as they do some more counters. They both work the arm until
gets an enziguiri. He rams Ki in the corner but gets elbowed off of a charge. Ki botches a rana then gets caught in an over-exaggerated tilt-a-whirl backbreaker by Lynn , which gets two. AJ is putting me to sleep on the mic at this point, talking about how he is learning from Lynn . Ki kicks down Lynn and the crowd chants his name. Ki works the neck then slugs away on Lynn . Slam by Ki is followed by an elbow drop, which gets two. Ki gets a figure-four headlock as AJ talks some more. Lynn manages a small package for two but Ki goes back on offense. Ki locks on the Bite of the dragon and Lynn is down. The crowd just loves Low Ki. Lynn manages a legdrop after dodging a shoulderblock. Spinning Gory Bomb gets two. Lynn tries the cradle piledriver but Ki turns it into an armbreaker mid move. Lynn escapes and hits a gordbuster for two. Ki bounces off the ropes and comes back with an elbow. Dropkick by Ki. The two trade shots until Low Ki kills him with a springboard kick. Spilt screen shows Styles on commentary as Lynn is getting kicked to death. West says he can feel the kicks from where he is sitting. Ki tries a Tidal Crush but gets caught with a powerbomb. Ki gets a small package for two then applies the Dragon Clutch. Lynn reverses and gets a tornado DDT for two. West is selling this show like it’s a Mickey Mantle gem-mint 10 rookie card. Ki with a Koppu Kick an signals for the Ki Crusher 99. AJ is on the apron and hits Lynn with an enziguiri. Ki with the Ki Crusher but refs calls for the DQ (14:10) **3/4. AJ gets in Lynn ’s face but Ki interferes and kicks AJ and knocks him out of the ring. Tenay says that Ki is angry because AJ cost him a chance to move up in the X-Division rankings. Lynn
Thoughts: Match started to get good near the end. The beginning was boring and just felt rehearsed. The DQ ending was lame as the Tag Champs are back fighting with each other. Still, it was easily the best match on the show.
Goldylocks approaches Don Harris, who is wiping the blood off of his face. He wants to know what she’s expecting, a “wrasslin’ promo.” He says he will go to Steamboat and ask for a First Blood match against Malice next week. West nearly shits his pants with excitement then struggles to explain the rules of the match.
Disco Inferno comes out to his set for the debut of “Jive Talking.” He hints that he might be taking over for Oprah. Disco says that he will find a dumb whore to become the first Miss Jive Talking He brings out Goldylocks as his guest, who he calls a “hot sexy dumb bitch.” Goldy grabs the mic and his angry at being insulted. She wants to talk about her music career. She compares herself to a female Kid Rock. She names her songs, including “Bitch Don’t cry,” which Disco jokes that it sounds like her autobiography. I’ll admit that got a brief chuckle out of me as Disco’s delivery made it funny. Disco wants her to show her breasts to the world because that is all she is good for. Goldy wants him to show his “hairy-ass balls.” Goldy walks away but Disco says she has no talent and couldn’t show off her skills because she didn’t bring her knee pads. Goldy hits Disco From behind but Paulina from Tough Enough Season One (That is how she was identified by Tenay) chokes her out from behind then helps up Disco. What an awful segment and a sad attempt at edgy humor.
West says it will be the best show ever next week. West is in full-out Shop At Home Network mode here and he is in all his glory. He mentions the matches: Low Ki vs. Jerry Lynn vs. AJ Styles for the X Division Title. Don Haris vs. Malice in a First Blood match. Ron “The Truth” Killings vs. Ken Shamrock for the NWA-TNA Heavyweight Championship. He finishes by plugging the merchandise.
Scott Hall vs. Jeff Jarrett
Hall meets Jarrett in the aisle and attacks him. Hall drags him around the ring and throws him on the announcers table, eventually slamming his head. Lots of punching by Hall. In the ring, Jarrett slugs away but gets dropped. Hall catches Jarrett and hits a fallaway slam and Jarrett rolls to the floor. He heads up the ramp but Hall chases after him. Backstage, Hall punches him around and rams him into the door. Jarrett breaks a table over his back but Hall continues to beat him. Hall is completely blown up at this point. They head into the crowd as Jarrett takes the advantage. Hall then gets in some chairshots. They make there way back to the ring and Hall gets his stretcher. Baseball slide by Jarrett and he hits him with the strectcher. Hall can’t even sell properly at this point. Back in the ring, Jarrett sends Hall into the stretcher that is wedged between the turnbuckles. He does it a few more times. Jarrett opens the stretcher and places it in the corner as a mild “Go Scott Hall” chant beaks out. Hall reverses a whip and sends Jarrett into he stretcher and does it again. He drops Jarrett with a discus punch that showed a lot of light. Hall with some stretcher shots and wedges the stretcher in the corner and drops Jarrett throat first. Hall gets the Razor’s Edge but The Truth drags the ref out of the ring before the three count. Axe kick to Hall and he places Jarrett on top, but it gets two. Monty Brown runs out and takes out Truth. Jerry Lynn runs in and hits a splash on Jarrett and places Hall on top but that only gets two. AJ runs out and takes out
. He goes up top but Don Harris comes in and takes him out. The Lynn then jumps Harris. Back in the ring, the two collide and both men are down again. Both men just beat the ten count and Hall fires away. Discus punch by Hall and he grabs the stretcher but Jarrett ducks and the refs gets taken out. Jarrett hits Hall and grabs a chair. Steamboat runs out and tends to the ref. Hall grabs the chair but Steamboat stops him. Jarrett then takes it and hits Hall and the ref wakes up and Jarrett gets the pin as Steamboat is shocked (12:04) -*. Jarrett puts Hall on the stretcher as the show goes off air. New Church
Thoughts: What a terrible main event. First, Hall was in no condition to perform out there. All of the run-ins and brawling could not mask that. Second, the run-ins were tiresome and the ending with Steamboat was lame. The guy talks about restoring order and lets Jarrett win the match in that fashion while standing around like a dope.
Final Thoughts: Another terrible show. Bad wrestling with and awful segments and equally bad angles. Watching this makes it embarrassing to be a wrestling fan. There were far too many non-wrestling segments crammed into this show. They spend time building up a stable that does nothing but lose matches and Steamboat, the face who is supposed to bring honor and tradition as well as stabilize the insanity, favors the heels and looks like a chump. The World Title is useless as Shamrock once again is not on the show.