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The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact–09.20.12

The SmarK Rant for TNA Impact – 09.20.12

I’m reading the side of a bottle of bubble mixture today, and it says “Non-toxic. Do not drink.” Well, which is it? Like, talk about your mixed messages.

Live from Orlando, FL

Your hosts are Mike Tenay and Taz

Meanwhile, Hulk Hogan meets up with Shaq, who assures Hulk that a Shaq Attack will be imminent if anything goes down. Finally, the last piece of the puzzle to stopping Aces & Eights!

Tonight: It’s Open Fight Night! I thought they got rid of that and changed it into the Championship Thursday or whatever it was called instead?

AJ Styles & Kurt Angle are out to recap the storyline thus far, and Angle having trouble holding the mic without it shaking is kind of scary. Anyway, they call out Chavo & Hernandez to see who the real #1 contenders are. What a wacky concept.

AJ Styles & Kurt Angle v. Chavo Guerrero & Hernandez

Chavo takes Angle down with an armbar and they have a stalemate on the mat and tag out. Angle slugs away on Hernandez and gets nowhere, allowing the Mexicans to trap him in the corner. Chavo grabs a headlock, but Angle escapes with an overhead suplex. Crowd seems to enjoy that. We take a break and return with AJ holding a chinlock on Chavo, but it’s hot tag to Hernandez. AJ & Angle bump all over the place for him and Hernandez fights off a double-team with a clothesline on both guys, and Chavo comes in with a missile dropkick on both. Chavo tries the Three Amigos, but AJ spinkicks him to block it, and it’s hot tag to Angle now. He suplexes the crap out of both guys and ankles Chavo, but Hernandez breaks it up. AJ hits him with the Pele and Angle goes back to the ankle on Chavo, who reverses out of it. AJ springboards in, but Hernandez takes him out, and then Angle takes HIM out with the Angle Slam, and Chavo gets the Amigos on Angle and then another set on AJ. Chavo goes up and Angle tries the suplex to block, but Hernandez cuts him off. This gives AJ time to recover and dodge the frog splash, however, and the Pele sets up the Styles Clash, which brings the dastardly tag champs in for the DQ finish at 12:18. Normally I hate that kind of finish, but you don’t want to beat either team, and this way the heat is on the heel team for ruining the match anyway. So I can deal with it. They were building to a hot finish before the shmoz. *** Hulk comes out to interrupt the heel celebration, and books the obvious three-way for Bound for Glory.

Meanwhile, Al Snow chats with Jason Hervey about Gut Check and Joey Ryan.

Meanwhile, Dixie Carter and Bruce Pritchard argue over how to handle Aces & Eights, and the conversation is so heated that they knock the sound out of sync! Dixie wants them locked out, and Pritchard wants them let in so they can find out their identity. Hmm.

Gut Check: Evan Markopolous v. Douglas Williams

Man, Doug gets to work with another green rookie on these things? Williams smacks the kid around and puts him down with a short clothesline, then goes to work on the ribs, really kinda laying into him. Evan tries a sunset flip and Williams knees him down to block and drops a vicious looking knee. I don’t know if he’s working really stiff or just snug, but it’s a rough night for Markopolous. Even Taz is impressed at the ass-kicking he’s taking. Williams cuts off another comeback and hits a delayed suplex, but he misses a blind charge and Evan slugs back, only to run into a knee and another thrashing. Williams finishes with a neck crank at 4:00. Well he certainly squashed the ever-loving fuck out of that 18 year old kid and gave him nothing to work with, so congratulations? Markopolous looked fine on his brief offensive flurries and sold well, and this was a real match and everything, but I would have liked to see more than a few punches from him. *

James Storm is out to stress that he backs up his trash talk. He naturally calls out Bobby Roode, but Bobby is in far too nice of a suit tonight for that. However, Hulk confronts him and gives him until after the commercial break to choose either accepting the fight or never getting another title shot again. So after the break, Roode goes out and takes his beatings like a man, and they brawl up the stage and finally into the ring.

James Storm v. Bobby Roode

Nope, back outside already, as the ref is unable to keep them from tumbling to the floor at every opportunity. You know what I like about TNA right now? The crowd just chants for Cowboy because he’s a babyface booked strongly and they like him. They’re not having to rebel against the wishes of the promotion or engage in ironic detachment, they’re just cheering for the good guy to beat up the bad guy. Roode finds a bottle of beer under the ring, but that just gets Storm RILED UP and he uses the POWER OF MALT to come back on Roode. Roode sends him into the post and takes a swing with a chair, but misses, and we get an awesome spot where Storm gets a fan to put his boots up on the railing so he can run Roode into them. And then Roode gets into an argument with A LITTLE OLD LADY at ringside. This could not be any more Memphis and I LOVE IT. Roode suplexes him on the floor and they finally head back in after 5 minutes of great brawling, and Roode immediately tosses Storm again, which results in poor Brian Hebner getting beat on by both guys. He calls for the DQ at 6:28. They fight into the crowd again and then backstage, where they disappear to end the segment. This was TREMENDOUS. And best of all, it left you wanting more without giving away the meat of the match.

Meanwhile, Aces & Eights call Hulk and inform him that they have a corporate lawyer handling their business matters. Uh oh…

Meanwhile, Austin Aries clarifies to Jeff Hardy that he wants everything that Jeff has already accomplished, and Jeff is just the first step towards that goal.

Tara is out to explain her heel turn, because her new boyfriend from Hollywood made her realize that she’s the most important thing. And then she calls out…Christy Hemme? Tara does an awesome job of bullying her before Tessmacher runs out for the save. Good guys and bad guys, I love it!

Hulk Hogan is out to rage against Aces & Eights because they’re holding Joseph Park hostage. I’m wondering if that’s actually the case. Hulk demands they release Park, because he’s just an innocent caught in the crossfire, and he agrees to visit their clubhouse next week in exchange. The Leader appears on the screen and notes that Park actually did have the dirt on them, so they smash his computer and then whack him with a hammer. That’s gonna end badly for someone. Generally, when someone has split personality problems and a homicidal secret ID, you don’t want to provoke them with head injuries. If comic books have taught me only one useful thing, it’s that.

Austin Aries v. Bully Ray

This is step one in AA’s plan to match Jeff Hardy’s accomplishments. Aries goes after him with a dive and slugs away on the floor, and into the ring to start proper, where Bully boots him off the apron and into the railing. We take a break and return with Bully holding a surfboard and slamming Aries for two. Elbow gets two. Bully pounds him down and drops another elbow for two. Bully stops to berate Earl Hebner, and that allows Aries to make the comeback until Calfzilla cuts him off. Aries keeps fighting with a discus forearm and necksnap, and a missile dropkick gets two. Bully fights out of the brainbuster, but misses a butt splash, and Aries comes back again. Ref is bumped, thus proving that Bully was correct about his shortcomings as an official, and Bully taps to the Last Chancery to no avail. Bully gets the chain and knocks Aries out for the pin at 12:13. Even Bully is shocked by that one. *** He’s so excited that he even makes up with Hebner! Bully grabs the title and tries to attack again, but Jeff Hardy makes the save…and gets caught by Aries holding the belt. Ah, the old slow burn jealous champion heel turn. Not a huge fan of champions doing jobs on TV, but they’re making an effort to elevate Bully with it so I can at least see what they’re shooting for.

The Pulse:

Spectacular episode. The crowd was rabid all night and it gave everything a real old-school energy that I loved, and the two hours flew by. The Roode-Storm brawl in particular was great, and the pacing on the show is just right this week. Thumbs up!

Comments

  1. I really cant wait to see Roode vs. Storm at BFG. That should be one hell of a bloody brawl.

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  2. ...soooooooooooo I gues that Shaq attack on Aces and Eights ain't coming tonight, huh?

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  3. I really have come to love Aces and Eights as they are. I kinda don't even want them to reveal who they are. Having them as some twisted Batman style version of a biker gang with the cool bandana masks and the voice scramblers is the kind of fun that I miss wrestling having. Like, it's definitely more heightened than real life but at the same time it seems like some version of reality. It really has that Nolan Batman vibe of villains that seem like real people in an unreal universe, and I kinda want it to keep going. Joseph Parks ties right in.

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  4. Yep. Honestly, unless the BFG main event was Aries-AJ, there's no match I'd be more excited for.

    Gonna be an old-school bloody brawl, and I'm gonna LOVE IT.

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  5. Do you drink all that is non-toxic?

    Urine is non-toxic, but I hope you would appreciate me advising you not to drink that either.

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  6. So the line about the jealous slow burn champion heel turn was a joke, right? Isn't that exactly the Punk storyline that everyone shots on? Why would it make more sense here?

    I said it in the live thread, but turning Aries heel to get Hardy over as the top face would be an absolute shitty move.

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  7. Because TNA is the IWC/SBOD darling of 2012.  We'll probably move on to CHIKARA this time next year.

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  8. Although this isn't really saying much..  it's the best wrestling promotion on television.

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  9.  That's the promotion with all that fantasy land bullshit, right? Like the dude doing hypnosis on his opponent, and the cartoon nonsense?
    Hell no.

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  10. TNA fans cheer more for Hardy than anyone else. Aries is a better heel than face anyway so I don't mind that angle at all.

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  11. The reason everyone shits on the Punk storyline is because the slow burn was all of two weeks, nobody likes the babyface he's supposedly jealous of, and nobody wants to boo Punk, anyway. 

    I can easily see Aries turning heel on Hardy to keep the belt at Bound for Glory, Storm beating Roode in the ultimate grudge match to set up Storm v. Aries as the next big program. 

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  12. Bound for Glory is shaping up to be a hell of a card. Aries/Hardy, Roode/Storm, and the tag title three way are already in the books. I'm curious what they have lined up for Bully Ray. 

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  13. Yeah, turning Aries at/after BFG by having him turn on Hardy smacks of last year's Roode/Storm business, at least in broad strokes; and I don't know if I really want to see another year of basically the exact same story in the world title picture, as good as that story was, since they seem shy about following through to the logical payoff. They're very NWA-esque in that regard (which made their decision to give Aries the title all the more surprising - that was a great moment and they really shouldn't bugger what they have in him just to give Hardy another go, although I will say it'd be lame for the BFG series to produce back-to-back losers in the main event of the biggest show of the year, but that's just an ancillary concern, really).

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  14. Punk "slow burned" all the way from Raw 1000 through Summerslam. He didn't really go full on heel until the Lawler stuff in September.

    And listen, I agree, I hate the Punk turn on principle too. But turning Aries is still wrong for all the same reasons. TNA just needs to pick their lead face and ride him. If Aries wasn't gonna be that guy, then they shouldn't have put the title on him.

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  15. Storm is the their #1 face, I think. Aries has been great but he's better as a heel. Storm beats Roode. Aries beats Hardy (giving him the shot is about adding eyeballs for their big show, not about making a serious run with Hardy on top) and goes heel while doing it. Doesn't that naturally set up Storm as the number #1 babyface and the next natural challenger for a hated Austin Aries? 

    The problem with Punk in the same scenario is the guy in the James Storm roll isn't there, or if he is, it's the Rock, and we're not getting that payoff until January. 

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  16. Loved the show except for the ending.

    I get that they want to build up Bully and he won via cheating, but I will never agree with having your champion lose in order to advance a storyline.  There are ways to have Bully booked strong without actually jobbing Aries.  Aside from that, it's a small hiccup in an otherwise fine show.

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  17.  It's the "darling" because week in and week out, they're putting on a hell of an entertaining wrestling show.  Geez, us "IWC" members are so needy.

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  18. Roman, this exactly. Hardy almost has to win the belt otherwise the BFG series looks like a joke. It'd be like the Rumble winner never winning at Mania.

    And as to your NWA comparison: dead on. Their biggest show of the year needs to be about a popular baby face champ. Either Aries should be a clear face reigning supreme, or they should have stuck with Storm winning the title from Roode. Instead I assume it'll be Aries or Hardy turning heel and closing the show holding the belt with Aces & Eights and a crowd of booing fans.

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  19. Should they gimmick up the match and go Iron Man Match or at least steel cage?  When TNA's gone Iron Man, it's 30 minutes for them instead of a full hour, right?

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  20.  I wouldn't say that at all. I comment over on Reddit's Squared Circle and they almost universally hate TNA with a raging passion.

    I agree Chikara can get pretty goofy but it's supposed to be family friendly. If you look past the silliness, they have some damn good wrestling going on up there.

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  21.  This match screams "I Quit" or "Last Man Standing".

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  22. Your own urine, sure, knock yourself out.  I'm talking about urine of an unknown origin.

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  23. Think about what TNA was like at this time last year.  A lot can change in 52 weeks...

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  24. I just don't like that Samoa Joe is left without a program and that Kenny King is left twiddling his thumbs right now.  They need to be on TV every week, especially Joe.  Other than that, TNA is still on quite a roll.  

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  25. Sure am glad I didn't miss the "SPECIAL SNEAK PEEK" of Dreadd 3D all 48 @#)(*#@ times that they aired it.

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  26. Your scenario makes total sense. The problem though would be: A) TNA never pulls the trigger on riding a face champ. B) Storm is totally been branded a loser in the big spot. C) it's another year where the heel wins the title at their Wrestlemania.

    I dunno, it reeks of the bookers out thinking themselves when the simpler story would have been so much better. We'll see!

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  27. Yeah, but the main thing was that it wasn't a clean job.  I think people are conditioned to see World Champs be like Super Cena where you'd have to run over them multiple times by a mack truck just to get a 2.99999999 count.  No, I prefer more sensible finishes like what we saw tonight. 

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  28. Yeah, but the main thing was that it wasn't a clean job. I think people are conditioned to see World Champs be like Super Cena where you'd have to run over them multiple times by a mack truck just to get a 2.99999999 count. No, I prefer more sensible finishes like what we saw tonight.

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  29. If Russo were still there, you know it would be a beer bottle on a pole match.

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  30. If Steiner was strictly the mouthpiece, I'd be ok with it, but no chance in that.  He's burned those bridges.

    I'd love it if Goldberg was 100% committed to being a heel, doubt thats an option.

    I'm sticking to the idea that alot of us have clamored for at least a month, split personality, Abyss is in charge and has no idea that he's Park and vice versa.  tt's the most logical idea at this point. 

    I was holding out that maybe Joe was the man, but I think his BFB series outcome made that go away as well.

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  31. The main dude was way too coherent to be Steiner. I hoped Aces and Eights consisted of people that got fired/quit TNA (including Gut Check wrestlers)

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  32. That is why I keep whining about the misuse of the TV and X Division belts.

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  33. I know only a small number of people know about the ongoing Steiner and Hogan/Bischoff twitter war but imagine if all that was a work to set up his emergence with Aces and Eights?  That would be pretty cool, actually.  I'm down for the Abyss scenario but I can't buy him being the leader of the group.  I'd rather he just be TNA's Judas with the real leader of Aces and Eights being a serious threat.

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  34. But you're not suggesting Joe be a TV Title contender are you?  He's much, MUCH better than that.

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  35. Aries doesn't necessarily turn all the way heel, they could just be setting him up to be heelish in the match since the crowd will most likely be cheering Hardy anyway. Back in the day in face vs face matches one would be kind of a heel, but didn't necessarily turn

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  36. Wait, how would I know the unknown urine is non-toxic?  That doesn't even make any SENSE!  

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  37. Goldberg, no, though it would match the "motorcycle" motif.  Steiner would actually be pretty awesome, but that would mean all of those nasty tweets were secretly a work the whole time and I just don't think that's the case.

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  38.  We've still got another three weeks before the PPV.  I'm pretty sure Joe's getting matched up with Magnus, but I'm also sad about not seeing Kenny King on TV in weeks.

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  39.  The fact that neither of them should job  is what makes the match interesting to me. Aries is their fresh new thing, Hardy won the BFG series, and as you said, it shouldn't produce back-to-back losers.

    I don't think Aries is going full heel, just heelish in this feud. After BFG they'll need both Aries & Hardy as faces to feud with A&8's

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  40. I've heard baseless speculation that Ray's getting tossed in to make another three-way.  I personally think they should just go nuts and make Ray the special referee.

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  41. Hogan calling in Shaq makes Dennis Rodman a sad panda.

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  42. Either "Falls Count Anywhere" or "Last Man Standing" should suffice.

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  43. Magnus is getting better in the ring and on the mic but Joe being put in a program with him is beneath him at this point.

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  44. Head injuries inducing supervillain alter-egos?

    You mean like Batman's King Tut?

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  45.  Also, even if Aries does turn heel it's not the same as the Cena/Punk situation.

    1) Half the crowd isn't booing Jeff Hardy

    2) Hulk Hogan puts Aries over every single week better and more effectively than Punk has been put over all year. Aries has nothing to prove, ya know, in everyone's eyes he belongs. Everyone on a roster that includes Hardy, Angle, RVD, take a backseat to Austin Aries.

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  46. Outside of Rock/Cena, I haven't been this excited for a match in a long, long time.

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  47. Unknown to YOU, not unknown in general.  How do you know that the milk that you drink is non-toxic without being personally acquainted to the cows that produced it?

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  48. That's a good point. Beyond that, I'd rather they keep them the way they are than reveal that Festus and Mike Knox are staging an invasion of TNA.

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  49.  The crowd isn't exactly at WWE levels, so I don't think you can compare the two crowds.

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  50. Did anyone notice the special needs guy that Bully Ray interacted with?  After Bully Ray and Aries went off on the one guy who touched Bully, then a 2nd guy did it, and when Bully turned around the got in his face, he just stopped and said, "Never mind."  But then later in the match when Aries kicked out at two, the guy yelled "twoooo" and Bully Ray looked at him and scrunched his face and went "twoooo."  Just thought it was interesting; seemed to me like he definitely was gonna go off on the guy at ringside till he turned and realized the situation.

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  51. I still think Abyss/Joseph Park* is with A&8.  The "leader" was never shown in full, and could easily have been anyone standing close to the camera.

    *Park, Hogan.  Not Parks.

    So assuming that it is Abyss et al., my one thought/slight concern was, what does this do for Abyss?  When considering months/weeks ago that it was Joe, I could easily see how this would kick him to the next level.  But with Abyss, I'm honestly not so sure.

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  52. The little things: anyone notice that when the Gut Check guy turned around and saw the camera for the 1st time, he did a double-take and froze in his tracks for a moment?  Very nice touch.

    I say give him a contract.  When he was rallying against Williams and stopped to look at the crowd in disbelief, I actually said "Dude!" out loud, in the sense of "No, keep it up!  Don't stop and play to the crowd!"  That's some good investment he pulled outta me right thar on his part.  Out of all the Gut Check guys so far, I think he's the only one where I felt like a solid "yes" was in order.

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  53. Another indication of the slow Aries heel turn was his backstage bit with Jeff where he said he wanted "sheep" to follow him like Hardy has.

    The bit about Bully and Aries getting on the case of the fan who touched Bully was just a message not to mess with the wrestlers, on the other hand (Aries even prefaced it with "no disrespect to that guy, but...").

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  54. Hogan himself is a huge guy, and I realize he's lost a few inches over the years, but damn, him standing next to Shaq was like Josh Matthews standing next to HHH, maybe even Taker.

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  55. Especially when WWE crowds are in different cities in front of paying fans, and TNA crowds are (probably) mostly the same fans every week that get in for free.

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  56.  i'd like to see bully ray do more crowd work. not as harsh as the ecw days but if he points out someone specifically and berates them then has security hold him back it could be a tremendous heel touch for him.

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  57. Bound for Glory is TNA'a WM? I thought it was Slameversary, or maybe Victory Road.

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  58.  Heck, I don't even watch TNA and read the odd recap here, but I do know BFG (for the last three years, at least) is considered "their Wrestlemania."  I think many of the wrestlers there have come out and said as much, too.

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  59. btw: it's amazing that TNA managed to make me want to see MORE of their guys instead of throwing all of them out so often that I don't care.

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  60. agree on this. if I would book a promotion I would pretty much NEVER have the champion do the job (via pinfall or submission).

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  61. Now Shaq and Rodzilla playing the 4 and 5 would of been one hell of a tag team.

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  62. I hope Aries/Roode is that bonafide star making match ala HHH/Rock at SS98, or even better, a stone-cold show-stealing claasic like Bret/Austin that just launches Cowboy into the stratosphere.

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  63. My cross promotional dream match right now, 

    The WORLD tag team champions of the WORLD vs Team FRIENDSHIP.

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  64. Thread jack, but are you planning to do an October PPV deal like you did a few months ago? I was watching an old Halloween Havoc show tonight -- I really miss the old Halloween themed events, just tons of goofy fun.

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  65. That's a pretty good theory, but I honestly don't think TNA is crazy enough to give Jeff Jarrett another title run, especially considering that his biggest supporter (Vince Russo) is long gone and I don't think that Jarrett would be willing to win the belt solely to keep it warm for James Storm.

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  66. Unless it came down to free throws.

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  67. I'm telling you I SMELL a 3 way for the title!

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  68. I was going to make a post about how TNA should jokingly offer some of their rasslers for CM Punk, D-Bry and Kane, but honestly, I'm not sure which fat could be trimmed from the roster. Kennedy? Robbie E.? We're a long way removed from the days of Black Reign, Machete, Lance Hoyt, Rhino and...who was the "scary" douche with the face paint?

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  69.  Excuse the fuck out of me?!

    So I go the the website, and I see the a comic book, and cartoon pictures of the wrestlers' heads. I'm sorry, that does not appeal to me in the least. We all know wrestling is worked, but I prefer when it is at least based in reality. It's my opinion, and I'm entitled to it.

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  70. To hell with you people.  TNA is old news.  I'm gonna be the first to jump on the bandwagon of the NEXT hot new promotion...SSW!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZDZo0QP5Nsw

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  71. Maybe obama can get the fda to inspect everybody's urine?

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  72. Except didn't Aries say last night that he wants what Jeff Hardy has? He's basically putting over "being Jeff Hardy" as being more important than being teh champ. It's the same storyline aspect ("being John Cena" > being WWE champ) that everyone shits on in WWE.

    And sure, half the TNA crowd isn't booing Jeff Hardy. But the TNA crowd would fit into a concession stand at a WWE event. John Cena is a tremendously more successful top face/ overall wrestler than Jeff Hardy. I don't agree with WWE turning Punk to get over Cena, but at the same time I'd say that it's WAY more understandable to pull that kind of shit for John Cena as opposed to doing it for eternal fuckup Jeff Hardy.

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  73. Putting Bully Ray into the match might also be their way of hedging their bets in case Jeff pulls another Victory Road. Which, IF that's the case, why even put Jeff in the match in the first place?

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  74. When they're bodyslammed and leg-dropped, everyone's the same size, brother! 

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  75. In 2008/2009 Jeff Hardy was cheered waaaaay more than John Cena. Cena was getting mixed reactions on Raw, while Hardy was getting deafening cheers on SD, particularly during the hot feud with CM Punk. If Hardy were still in WWE, or were to return, he'd be more over than John Cena. I agree that Cena's a better worker, but I'd rather watch Jeff Hardy's matches. And Hardy sells a beating waaaaaaay better than Cena. In fact I think Cena's selling largely sucks.

    Now as for the first part, I don't have cable so I won't see Impact till someone posts the show on youtube, so I can't really comment. But the difference is still that in WWE Punk has clearly been overshadowed--intentionally--for almost his entire title reign. Meanwhile nobody has been overshadowing Aries in TNA; he just wants more notoriety b/c he truly believes he is "The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived."

    WWE is blatently saying "STOP CHEERING PUNK YOU GUYS CENA'S BETTER." TNA is creating a storyline for 2 faces who are headed for a big title match. It's comparing apples to blowjobs.

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  76. He already said he was doing Slim Jim Halloween Havoc

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  77. I was hoping we would FINALLY see Shaq bust out some ShaqFu on some poor soul since we were deprived of it when he was on Raw. But I guess you can't always get what you want.

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  78. I don't exactly believe the hype that it's gonna be Jarrett and still think Matt Morgan is the leader. We shall see.

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  79. First off, Imma get started on that thesis comparing apples to blowjobs. (Preview: Apples don't fare very well.)

    Agreed, Hardy was SUPER over that last year or so in WWE. And listen, I'm on your side: Cena needed to turn and WWE needed to have gone with Punk as their lead face. They fucked that up. My point is that Cena today, even on the downside of his popularity, is still A) More popular, and B) Infinitely more reliable than Jeff Hardy.
    The reason Jefff Hardy isn't in WWE is not because he'd rather be in TNA. It's because long term he can't exist in their demanding environment.

    As for the Punk vs Aries comparison. Yes, Punk has been overshadowed for most of his reign. BUT in certain cases, it was more than justified. WWE had The Rock pulling in a million buys for Wrestlemania, then they had Brock Lesnar. I love CM Punk, but those guys can justifiably get the spotlight. If TNA had The motherf'n Rock I'm sure he'd be telling Austin Aries that it didn't matter what his name was.

    And really, in Aries' brief reign (two months as compared to Punk's 10 months), has he really been the focus of the company? I'd say Aces & 8s has overshadowed him. Hell, he didn't even have a title defense on the last PPV, and he's barely wrestled on Impact since winning the title. Not exactly an Austin in '98 start to a title reign.

    Also, if TNA goes with a face-face match that puts Aries over, that's one thing. But if Aries turns heel because he demands Jeff Hardy's respect, then "The Greatest Man Who Ever Lived" is just doing "The Best in the World"'s act a few months later.

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  80. oh come on Festus was so long ago, can he just be Luke Gallows? He's a quite good wrestler too.

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  81. Look, you're used to being disappointed by wrestling companies. I am too. They let us down constantly. But it really seems like Brother Love & Lagana don't have their heads up their asses and I'm willing to wait & see on this.

    Aries has totally been top dog in TNA, in this case you have to take story into account. A&8 are intruders, and thus far the most relevant thing they've done is break Aries' arm; because he's the top guy.

    And seriously (and this is the part that constantly astonishes me) HULK FUCKING HOGAN stands side by side with Austin Aries on a weekly basis and calls him the best wrestler in the world. That means something. Nobody has done that for Punk. HHH & the McMahons treat him like shit if they share a segment together. The Rock barely mentions him. That's why this isn't the same, Punk got to the top in the eyes of the fans but the company refuses to acknowledge this. TNA treats Aries like a made-man on TV, so if he were to turn heel it's actually obnoxious b/c he was given the keys to the city, so to speak.

    I have always maintained that Cena/Rock & Cena/Brock were worthy of main eventing their respective ppv's over whatever Punk was doing. It's Cena vs Big Johnny overshadowing Punk that drives my crazy; especially b/c Punk was Big Johnny's foil and all of a sudden Cena made it about himself.

    Let me know how that thesis goes.  

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  82. Best bit, Bully chews out the fan that touches him, then gets touched again, sees it is a kid with Downs and you can just HEAR the gears turning in his head like, "Would that cross the line?"  And he finally says, "Forget it".

    I love Bully, but two three ways are a bit much.  Especially when they are both title matches.  So your BFG card:

    Aries Vs Hardy (OFFICIAL, could add Bully) - The possible heel turn is giving this match some story that it was lacking.  Still think it is incredibly stupid to make Hardy THE guy. 

    Hernandez/Chavo Vs Angle/AJ Vs WTTCotW (OFFICIAL) - This will rule.

    Roode Vs Storm (Probable) - This needs a gimmick.  I'm hoping "I Quit".  Of course seeing Roode in the suit made me think of that Hacksaw Vs Dibiase tuxedo match...

    Tara Vs Tess (Probable) - Heel Tara is good, but Tess is boring as hell.

    Zima Ion Vs Sorenson (Possible) - Does anyone know Jesse's condition?  If they are gonna do this, BFG is the time.  If Sorenson is still hurt, then I don't see the point keeping the belt on Ion.

    Joe Vs Magnus (Possible)  - This would be good, but I'm thinking they add something to it.  Maybe throw in RVD.

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  83. WWE is actually giving the tag scene in TNA a run.  Bryan/Kane, Truth Bomb, PTP, Rey/Cara

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  84. I'm on Page 17 of the thesis! In a shocking twist, apples are making a big comeback.

    Good point on the Hogan-Aries stuff. I won't keep belaboring the Punk-WWE point, because I think we agree there--- WWE should have booked it all differently.

    My larger point is just I hate the idea of an Aries heel turn. TNA spent a decade riding heel champs and where has that gotten them? Now was the time to pick a face and build the company around him. Storm or Aries, it doesn't matter. It's just looking like instead it'll be the usual TNA booking of heels on top (Aries turn, a Hardy turn, Hogan turn, SOMEONE turns) with the faces chasing but never really delivering the sustained pay-off.

    Maybe I'll be proven wrong and Hardy puts a face Aries over clean. I just seriously doubt it, is all, and I think that turning a popular face against the fan's wishes, whether it's TNA or WWE doing it, is a shit idea.

    But anyway, let's see how this plays out!

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  85. It's remarkable how this show flies by and Raw feels like it's 5 hours. I have to DVR Raw and take at least a couple sittings to get through it. Meanwhile, TNA just breezes by when I watch it on Friday mornings.

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  86. If Shaq really wants to protect TNA from Aces and Eight's he should probably play some of his awful Shaq Diesel hip hop albums.  Whew.  That will keep everyone away!

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  87. I hope so. I don't think he's been properly ridiculed for saying that Stan Hansen was over the hill in 1990.

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  88.  To be fair, Rhino is back in shape and pretty awesome these days

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  89.  you mean Storm/Roode i take it :p

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  90.  but with less green workers ideally

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  91.  which is why it should be an easy win for Joe to keep his momentum going, he has to fight someone but the top of the card is loaded, so feeding him a mid carder doesn't seem like the worst idea

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  92.  If i lived in Orlando I'd jump all over that!

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  93.  Here's the beauty of Aces and Eights: Until their identities are fully revealed...

    - It's not a Geezer Squad. It's not the Millionaire's Club or the Main Event Mafia. Guys we love but really don't want to see running circles around new wrestlers who really deserve it.
    - It's not a Job Squad. It's not Nexus or the New Blood. Unproven unknowns who deserve a shot, but have so few "Superstar Points," you know they'd lose a 1v1 match with just about any main eventer, and thus no pose no real threat even in a pack.

    They're neither old nor new, they exist somewhere in between. Since they could be anyone, from Kurt Angle to Samoa Joe, you believe it when they take out a (potentially fellow) main eventer. Since they could be anyone, you don't groan when they do, and wonder why a fresh face isn't getting the push.

    And the best part is, no mystical mumbo jumbo Corporate Ministry Higher Power bullcrap. I love the glory days of The Undertaker as much as anyone, but I also love how this is just a thoroughly grounded gang of biker hooligans. It rocks.

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  94. I'm going to stop you right there:

    Bobbing for apples is basically practice for blowjobs. 

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  95. Austin Aries is a poor man's CM Punk and always has been.

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  96. The song he did with Biggie was hot, other than that I agree.

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  97. Yes I am.

    This is the poiint I'm making. If Joe got the TV belt and defended it against top contenders (Styles, Daniels Bully Ray) then that belt would matter. The person holding the belt MAKES the title important. Look at what Aries did with the X Division title.

    As I've said before. in the 80's when Sting exhaused all of his World title shots he went after the TV and US belts. I don't see why they can't follow that formula.

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  98.  I think I'd be taking a hell of a risk in assuming my own urine is non-toxic.

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  99. This entire argument is stupid:

    I totally just blew open the apples and blowjobs comparison in eight words. Stop writing your thesis!

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  100. Did he actually do a song with Biggie, or was he just mixed into a track that was already made before Biggie died?

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  101. A friend of mine used to live there, and he went to every taping, and told me that a lot of the people there weren't wrestling fans, just tourists and college-age guys that just went to get hammered. This was 4 years ago though, might be different today.

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  102.  that joint with meth & rza wasn't that bad either.. but yeah that 1st album was hilarious..

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  103. TNA is Appetite for Destruction, Raw is Use Your Illusions. TNA's 2 solid hours of guys that are considered important in good matches/segments, where Raw has some great moments but you have to get through a lot of filler to get to them. 

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  104. ...its... still the same... as of last year

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  105. It was on his album called "You Can't Stop the Reign." The video didn't include Big but the album version did. Even though this was arguably Shaq's best verse, Biggie murders this song:

    http://youtu.be/O3aCIGBtUYc

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  106. Who are you to doubt apples?

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  107.  That's what i figured :p

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  108. No Hooks was awesome.

    You cant stop the reign wasnt bad either.

    Shaq had at least 1-2 tracks that was good on each album.

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  109.  Only this match features two talented wrestlers who work full time unlike Cena/Rock! Which was over hyped and boring as hell.

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  110.  well, it's not like he does much else! has there been a more useless president? he almost makes me miss Bush

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  111.  well it certainly looks like it'll be a much better show them Mania was this year, but that wouldn't be hard.

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