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October Countdown: WWE No Mercy 2003

The SmarK Rant for WWE No Mercy 2003

- Geez, you’re a FEW days late with a rant…  (Joke there being that this wasn’t posted until a few months into 2004, as I was visiting family and didn’t have the motivation to do the rant until I was able to track down the DVD months later.) 

- Live from Baltimore, MD.

- Your hosts are Cole & Tazz.

- Opening match, Cruiserweight title: Tajiri v. Rey Mysterio.

Lockup to start and they fight over that, and they both hit the floor and head right back in. They exchange low kicks, and back to the lockup. Rey takes him down with an armdrag and then goes after the leg on the mat, but Tajiri reverses to an armbar. Rey flips out of it, but Tajiri chops him down and goes behind in order to pound him down. Rey escapes a suplex and gets an armdrag, then dropkicks the knee and blocks the handspring elbow with a dropkick that sends Tajiri out. Rey follows with a pescado, and back in with a try at Eddie’s springboard wristlock, but Tajiri drops him on the top rope, and then sends him into the post. Back in, that gets two. Tajiri stays on the arm and kicks Rey down on the mat, and he goes back to the arm. Rey fights back with the springboard wristlock, but now Tajiri kicks him down with a high kick and a spinkick for two. Back to the arm, and a kick to the shoulder gets two. Tajiri pounds the arm and takes him to the top, but Rey comes down with a tornado DDT for two. Cross body gets two. Crucifix into a sunset flip, but Tajiri blocks for two, and Rey reverses that for two. Tajiri catapults Rey over the top, but he hangs on and takes Tajiri out with a bodyscissors. He follows with a rana off the apron. Back in, Rey misses a springboard, and Tajiri tosses him, but Rey reverses the momentum into a 619, leaving Tajiri loopy. West Coast Pop is blocked with a powerbomb for two. Rey reverses him into the corner and charges, then alley-oops over with a moonsault press for two. Tajiri kicks him down again, into the Tarantula, but Rey ducks the Big Kick and they reverse into a seated dropkick from Rey. Rey catapults him into the 619, and the West Coast Pop gets nothing as Tajiri’s future cohorts run in to break up the count, and the Big Kick finishes for Tajiri at 11:40. Good match, horrible finish. It was an interesting blend of the “new style” mat-based stuff and the traditional lucha stuff, but it didn’t feel like it clicked 100% ***

- Meanwhile, Vince shares pathos over having to beat up his daughter later tonight. Hey, I’m okay with it.  (2003 was not my favorite year.) 

- A-Train v. Chris Benoit.

Who would have thought back then that this feud would be the precursor to Benoit actually winning the big one? Train talks trash in the corner to start, so Benoit pounds away, but gets overpowered and bails. Back in, Train takes him down and out again. Back in, Benoit dodges him and starts chopping, but can’t get the german suplex and Train powers him into the corner and pounds him with knees. Benoit fights back, but runs into an elbow. They slug it out in the corner and Train misses a charge, allowing Benoit to fire away again and start chopping. Train clubs him down, into a splash for two. Benoit takes him down into the corner, but walks into a bicycle kick that gets two for Train. Into the corner for more CLUBBING FOREARMS until Benoit drops. He catapults him under the middle rope, but Benoit fights from his back. Train drags him out to the middle and smacks him around, into the forward butterfly suplex for two. Benoit fights back and goes for the knee, but Train clubs him down again. Into a surfboard, but Benoit fights out and gets a DDT, and both are out. Train reverses a suplex attempt into his own german suplex, and he tosses Benoit. Into the railing and back into the ring, but Train grabs a chair because he’s a BAD PERSON. Benoit fights him off, but Train presses him and then loses his grip and drops Benoit on his head, on the chair. Thankfully, he survived. Train sets up the chair in the corner, but Benoit keeps coming, rolling Train into the crossface. Train counters up, so Benoit hits him with the rolling germans. Cole wonders how he can do that after falling on his head. Because he’s CHRIS FUCKING BENOIT, you wank. (Obviously in the long run falling on his head and then doing repeated german suplexes wasn’t the best idea.)  Benoit goes up and gets slammed off, and Train clotheslines him before going up himself. He changes his mind and gets the Derailer for two instead. He kicks the chair by mistake, and Benoit takes him down into the Sharpshooter for the submission at 12:19. Too long, but Benoit sells a beating really well. **

- Zach Gowen v. Matt Hardy.

Boy, did THIS one end up looking stupid in retrospect, and probably destroyed Matt’s career. Matt Facts: He cannot be grossed out, and he’s survived five car wrecks. I bet Jeff was driving during all of them. (HO HO, remember when JEFF was considered the dangerous driver out of them?) Matt takes him into the corner to start, but Gowen gets a pair of leg lariats. Matt slams him and puts him on top, but Gowen comes down with a bulldog for two. Shannon Moore trips him up and Matt stomps away and works him over in the corner, into a corner clothesline, and a lariat that puts Zach on the floor. Matt steps on his head and brings him in for two. Legdrop gets two. Vertical suplex into a surfboard, but Zach fights out, so Matt stomps him down again. Matt goes up and misses a moonsault, and Zach comes back with a dropkick that puts Matt on the floor, and Gowen follows with a somersault plancha. Back in, high cross gets two. He walks into the Side Effect, however, and Matt gets two. Zach goes up and gets crotched, and Matt tries to bring him down with a superplex, but Gowen blocks and gets the moonsault for the pin at 5:31. Gowen was fired two months later and I don’t think he even appeared on TV again after this. To this day I have no idea why the finish was Hardy doing a clean job. *  (I wouldn’t say this specifically destroyed Matt’s career anymore, as he did a fine job of doing that himself, but it sure didn’t do him any favors.) 

- The APA v. The Basham Brothers.

Bradshaw pounds away in the corner to start on Doug and overpowers him, and Faarooq comes in for some double-teaming. Back elbow gets two. Powerslam and he fights off Danny and clubs him, too, and the APA get the double spinebuster on him. Bradshaw drops an elbow for two, and the APA get a double shoulderblock for two. Danny kicks Faarooq down off a jawbreaker and Doug comes in, but gets pounded on the floor by Bradshaw. Back in, Faarooq with the Dominator attempt, but the Bashams sneak in with a double-suplex that gets two for Danny. They work Faarooq over in the corner and get another double-suplex, and that gets two for Danny. Back to the corner, as Doug switches in and chokes away, then hits the chinlock. Faarooq fights out, but Danny drops an elbow for two. Back to the chinlock, but Faarooq escapes and gets a spinebuster. Hot tag Bradshaw and he’s a REPUBLICAN ON FIRE, powerbombing Doug for two. He tosses Doug and gets the blockbuster slam on Danny, and another one on Doug. That gets two. The ref is bumped, which is JUST what this match needed, and Shaniqua runs in and clubs Bradshaw, giving Doug the pin at 8:54. This went on forever. ¾* The Bashams won the tag titles two days later from Los Guerreros.  (Doug and Danny Basham was a horribly misguided push attempt.  And then both guys ended up out of the business.) 

- I Quit match: Vince McMahon v. Stephanie McMahon.

The buildup and promotion of this match was some of the most intelligence-insulting, arduous crap that the promotion that has ever put out, and that’s saying something. This match was promoted above all the others, and the result was a buyrate rivaling the lowest of all time.  (Remember, Vince in moderation = ratings, but anything beyond that gives you THIS.)  Anything that requires Linda to act is asking for trouble. Vince attacks Steph from behind, but she tries a sleeper, so Vince puts her down again. She dodges him, but Vince knocks her down again and hairtosses her. Into the corner, as Vince works her over with shoulders and chokes her out on the ropes. Linda tries chasing Sable away, but Vince intervenes. Back in, Steph kicks at him to come back, but Vince clotheslines her. Into a half-crab. Ever notice that Steph and Vince dress like mirror images of each other, down to the all-black color scheme and elbow pads? Kinda creepy. (KINDA creepy?  HELLA CREEPY.)  Vince surfboards her while Stephanie flexes her acting muscles and sells it. Sable brings in a pipe, but Linda trips her up, so Vince goes after her and gets hit with a low blow by Stephanie as a result. She hits him with the pipe and gets two. Vince begs off, but Steph hits him with the pipe in exaggerated manner a few times, and gets two. She goes after Sable, and sends Vince into her, setting up a bulldog for two. Vince catches her and chokes her down, then beats her down with the pipe. Well, spare the rod, spoil the child. He chokes her out with it, and Linda throws in the towel at 9:21. Because you have to keep Stephanie strong, you see. (I think they seriously believed that, actually.)  This was all silly and cartoonish and worked within the context of what they were doing, but in the end it was just an excuse to give Stephanie another banishment from TV “forever” and didn’t make a bit of difference to anyone watching, nor did it draw a dime or have any effect on anyone who COULD draw money. * In fact, the whole plot with Sable and Linda went nowhere, and was completely forgotten a month later.

- Kurt Angle v. John Cena.

Hard to believe, but Cena was the heel and Angle was the face here. That dynamic seems so bizarre considering how easily they fit into the opposite roles. They fight over a lockup to start and Angle takes him down with a headlock, as Cole notes that “Cena cannot get into a quote-unquote wrestling match with Kurt Angle”. I’m so confused as to what I’ve been watching. (Sports entertainment, of course!)  Angle takes him down with an armdrag, but Cena grabs a headlock and overpowers Angle, but Kurt comes right back with a series of armdrags. Angle gives some disrespect to Cena and fires away with punches, then gets a back elbow for two. He slugs away in the corner, but Cena catches him with a clothesline for two. Angle backdrops him for two, and slugs him down again, as the crowd seems torn on who to cheer for. Angle spears him with a shoulderblock in the corner and starts chopping, but misses a charge and hits the post, ending up on the floor. Cena sends him back in for a clothesline and a corner clothesline, into a neckbreaker for two. He stomps away and elbows him down for two. Into a double chickenwing on the mat as Angle’s mouth starts to bleed, but Angle counters out before running into a knee. Backdrop suplex gets two. Into the facelock, but Angle fights out and slugs away. He walks into a MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER, however, and that gets two for Cena. Cena goes up, but gets caught with the Pop-Up Superplex, which Cena blocks. He tries a high cross, but Angle dropkicks the knee on the way down. Good sequence. Angle fires away and gets a flying forearm and clotheslines to make the comeback. Russian legsweep gets two. Cole notes that if you give Angle the big opening, he’ll drive right through. Rob Feinstein operates the same way. (Now to be fair, RF was never actually CHARGED with anything.  But that sort of technicality has never stopped me before.)  Angle goes for the anklelock, but Cena makes the ropes, so Angle baseball slides him to the floor. Back in, Cena catches him with a necksnap and they slug it out on the apron, where Angle teases the german suplex and Cena reverses to a DDT on the apron. Angle comes in, but gets caught with a guillotine legdrop coming in, which gives Cena two. Angle comes back with the rolling germans, but Cena dropkicks the knee, into the Throwback for two. Blind charge misses and Angle rolls him up for two. More germans from Angle get two. Angle slugs away in the corner, but Cena goes for a piledriver, but Angle keeps dropping down to block. Cena fires off knees to put him down and follows with a corner clothesline, and that allows a powerbomb into the corner. That’s so sick. That gets two. Gotta wonder why he never worked that into his regular arsenal. F-U gets two. Another one is countered to the Angle Slam, however, and that gets two. Cena grabs the chain, but it’s just a distraction while he uses Angle’s medals, and that gets two. I will go to my grave believing that should have been the finish. Another try at the F-U is reversed to a backslide for two. Angle Slam is reversed to another F-U, but Angle reverses to the anklelock for the submission at 18:27. Time and perspective would have meant Cena goes over, I’m pretty sure, but at the time they went with Angle and Cena didn’t end up too hurt by it. (Cena did OK for himself afterwards.)  Didn’t like it as much the second time around, as the good parts were very obviously Angle carrying things, but Cena more than held his own otherwise. ***3/4

- US title: Eddie Guerrero v. Big Show.

This is another one where they’d probably change the result in retrospect if they could. (There was a lot of that sort of second-guessing at this point.)  Eddie goes after the knee to start, but Show tries to overpower him, so Eddie slugs away. He walks into a clothesline, however. Show headbutts him down and uses the CLUBBING FOREARMS before stepping on him. Eddie dodges a charge and pulls Show out of the ring, then distracts the ref with a chair before using a garbage can lid on him. Why was THAT under the ring, anyway? Eddie keeps slugging and chops Show in the corner, but that just annoys him. Eddie wisely backs off and heads outside, but gets tossed into the post as a result. Show tosses him back in and sits on his back, hitting the chinlock off that. Show keeps pounding the back and he loosens a turnbuckle, whipping Eddie’s back into it. Eddie fights back and the ref gets bumped, so Eddie pulls an international object out of his tights, nailing Show with it. That gets two. Next plan, as Eddie grabs the title and puts Show down with it, setting up the frog splash for two. Eddie charges and runs into a spinebuster, which gets two. Show chokeslams him for two. Another one is blocked with a low blow, and Eddie DDTs him for two. Another chokeslam finishes at 11:27, killing the crowd. Show would of course go on to defend the title a grand total of 3 times during the course of a SIX MONTH title reign. (Still better than Santino.)  This match made no sense on a number of levels, and Show just wasn’t the guy to help Eddie reach the top. **

- Smackdown World title, chain-on-a-pole match: Brock Lesnar v. Undertaker.

(So yeah, a year later and we’re right back to this match again.  No wonder Brock wanted out.) Michael Cole says it’s ironic that Stephanie made this match as GM, which led to her match with Vince where she lost the GM title. So, how is that ironic, exactly? (Like rain on your wedding day.)  Undertaker slugs away to start and goes for the arm, and they struggle in the corner. Brock misses a charge and Taker works the arm again, but Brock slugs out of that and hammers him in the corner. Taker boots him down, and the legdrop gets two. UT with the ROPEWALK OF DOOM and La Majastral for two. They brawl out and Taker elbows him off the apron, but Brock fires back with knees to the gut and sends UT into the stairs. Back in, Brock slugs away and throws elbows in the corner, into a Perfectplex for two. Brock slowly stomps him in the corner, but Taker fights back, only to miss a charge to the corner…and Brock stomps him down again. Taker necksnaps him, but Brock sends him into the railing and they fight on the floor. Back in, Taker catches him with an elbow, and the flying clothesline for two. Brock comes back with a knee to the gut, but Taker hotshots him. He makes the first attempt at getting the chain, but the lights go out. And nothing happens. Taker fights off Brock, but gets powerslammed. Brock brings the stairs in, but Taker headbutts him down again and stomps away in the corner. Brock whips him into the stairs, however. Taker comes back and clotheslines Brock to the floor, where he piledrives him on the remaining half of the stairs. The crowd gives that a perfunctory “Holy shit” chant. Taker climbs for the chain again, but Brock stops him, so UT puts him in something vaguely resembling a triangle choke, and they head back in. Brock goes low, and uses the stairs for two. Another charge with the stairs, but UT boots him down again and charges with them. Brock ducks and the stairs end up on the floor again, and Brock pounds UT with shoulders in the corner. He goes for the chain, but Taker brings him down with an attempt at the Last Ride, which Brock counters with a clothesline. It’s a duel of fisticuffsmanship, and Taker gets the corner clothesline, setting up Snake Eyes and a big boot. You know, Kevin Nash can always rest easy knowing that he added Snake Eyes to the wrestling vernacular. Brock counters the chokeslam with the MAIN EVENT SPINEBUSTER. Taker gets the “triangle choke”, with about 8 inches of air, so Brock counters with a slam. Clothesline from Brock, but Taker catches him with the dragon sleeper. Brock counters to the F5, which gets two. No one buys these near-falls because the chain hasn’t come into play, though. Speaking of which, Brock takes the moment to go for the chain again, but Taker chokeslams him from the top. And instead of going for the pin, which would be SMART, Taker climbs for the chain, but now the FBI run in and attack him. Boy, did THAT ever help out their careers. Taker gets rid of them as though they were jobbers (I know, that’s a stretch) and powerbombs Brock, but AGAIN chooses not to go for the pin. He stops to hit the FBI with the tope con hilo, but why would you bother if you’ve got the title won? Nunzio tries to get the chain and gets sent to the floor by Taker, who DOES get the chain, finally bringing it into play 25 minutes into this snoozefest, but now Vince McMahon comes out and shoves him off the top, allowing Brock to use the chain for the pin at 24:16. Ridiculously anti-climactic finish to a boring match. This set up not any kind of money-drawing program for Brock, but a gimmick match between Vince and Undertaker. No wonder Brock got tired of it all and left. (Hey, I just made that point at the top of this match, jerk.)  Long and dull and LONG. **1/4

The Bottom Line:

Time has left this show in the dust, as it bombed critically and financially, and showed just how wrong the direction of the company really was at that point. The crowd was dead after Angle-Cena because they had nothing to follow it, and the “I Quit” match ended up meaning not a thing, as no one misses Stephanie and Heyman ended up doing a more effective job in the same role. The Cena match is good, but not worth getting the DVD for.

Recommendation to avoid.  (Yeah, that’s an understatement.) 

Comments

  1. Big Show was undoubtedly the worst US Champion. Santino may be pointless, but with Big Show they literally just created the title weeks before, had Eddie/Benoit kill themselves (I could probably word that better) to win it, and then have Big Show win it and do NOTHING with it for months.

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  2. Oh yeah, time hasn't been kind to this show, and the same thing can be said about most of 2003 WWE.

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  3. I don't think the idea of Cena beating Show for the US title at 'Mania was a bad idea, but the fact that they didn't really do anything with the belt between Show winning it here and then was pretty crap.

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  4. One nice thing about the Battle of the McMahons here is that it did turn out to be Steph's swan song as a regular on camera. She hasn't had a match since, as far as I can remember, so there is that.

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  5. Ah, the "Stephanie McMahon: Master of Disguise" era...

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  6. This period in WWE illustrated why splitting the Undisputed Title was a bad idea. They completely ran out of fresh main event options on Smackdown as they ran different combinations of Brock, Angle, Big Show and Taker into the ground. A month later, they began a Benoit VS Lesnar feud that they would abruptly end after the Royal Rumble to inject Benoit into the HHH VS HBK feud (which should have had its blowoff match at Wrestlemania 20 while Brock was putting over Benoit). I first started following the sheets around a month or 2 after this show, so I remember the plan being Lesnar VS Goldberg (at the time, I thought that would be Title VS Title).

    At the 2004 Royal Rumble, Hardcore Holly of all people was given a title match. It would have made more sense to elevate John Cena (recently face turned and still the edgy rapper and Internet favorite) instead of having Lesnar defend against a career midcarder at a Big 4 PPV. They put the belt on Eddie, who I didn't consider to be ready for it at the time, and then JBL, who was even less ready to be the champ. If they had finished the Lesnar VS Benoit feud, they could have put Eddie over Angle at Wrestlemania (in basically the same match, but not for a title) and done Eddie VS Benoit as the big feud of the summer while they tried to build up JBL, Booker and RVD as credible challengers. Instead, Smackdown became the "minor leagues" and was treated as inferior to Raw. Smackdown's ratings plummeted (Smackdown and Raw once had about the same number of viewers on a weekly basis when the 2 brands were on equal footing) and that definitely hurt WWE in the long-term.

    I hardly remember the buildup to this show. It sounds like a bad show and I'd guess that I'd probably agree with the star ratings (give or take 1/2*).

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  7. Speaking of crap, isn't this the match that had the buildup of Show stealing a plate of burritos that were being delivered for Eddie and ending up with diarrehea?

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  8. I can't believe that Zach Gowen is still kicking around the indy circut. Well, maybe not kicking, but you get the idea.

    And even I, a person who has been more than vocal about his hatred of the Hardys, thinks that Matt losing that match clean was, as they say in Boston, wicked retahded.

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  9. So was Angle the last guy to get a submission win over John Cena?

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  10. According to the announcers whenever Cena is put in a submission hold, he has never tapped out.

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  11. Since WWE officially traces the US title lineage back to the NWA days, I'll have to say the Dusty Rhodes reign was even worse. Every bit as long and pointless as Show's reign, with the added bonus that he didn't even drop the title to anyone, and had it stripped from him instead.

    Bret Hart's reign sucked donkeys as well.

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  12. Oh man, the build up to this PPV was ALL about Steph and Vince, right down to those awkward sit down interviews with Cole where Stephanie cried about Vince hitting her.


    Weren't they also trying to have Steph be pregnant with Vince's baby at this time as well?

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  13. John Cena and John Cena are two different people.

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  14. The irony is that complaining about the incorrect use of irony turns it into irony.

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  15. If they trace the lineage back to the NWA days than why can't the use the NWA/WCW belt? The U.S. title belt they use today just looks HORRIBLE.

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  16. I'll never get Steph's husky, screaming "I'LL KILL YOU!!!" voice out of my nightmares.

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  17. Because they've already pulled that trick with the Intercontinental title.

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  18. There's a BOD topic waiting to happen: greatest WWE moment that never lead to anything.

    I'll go with Stephanie McMahon making out with Eric Bischoff.

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  19. Doing it once is a retro tribute; doing it twice is tantamount to admitting that the current belts suck.

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  20. But the current belts do suck. They should bring back the old tag belts while they're at it.

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  21. CM Punk dropping a pipe bomb in Vegas.

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  22. Winning a title and shooting up the card?

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  23. But WWE can't admit to their current product sucking. Only product of the past is open game for ridicule.

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  24. Shot him all the way up to that one main event he had in 2012 up until now?

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  25. If that's the case, then I can't wait to see the "Are You Serious" episodes a few years from now. Actually, someone should do a "AYS 2020" and put that shit on YouTube. Maffew, you out there?

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  26. One main-event and beating Cena cleaner than anybody in years? That's more than most of the roster.


    It turned Punk from just another guy to one of the tops. Regardless of whether it brought "real change" to WWE, it made Punk's career.


    Punk pre-promo was Jericho, post-promo he was Batista.

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  27. Interference from Johnny Ace, ref mistake, and a draw. Not exactly clean as a sheet. It made Punk's bank account bigger(I suppose that's all the really matters in the end), but he is still just another guy on the roster who is holding the title only because Rock and Cena don't need it right now.


    If Punk really cared about change, then he got worked by Vince. I'm sure it was worth a bus to prevent him from doing any real change for another company.

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  28. Agree with you here, and I don't really like how people say that Punk isn't a main-event guy because he's not going on last for PPVs. Outside of Cena's run in 2006-07 he's been the longest running WWE world champ in nearly 20 years; having longer reigns than Austin, Rock, Michaels, HHH, Lesnar, and the Undertaker, and will more than likely break Cena's reign in a couple months. If that's not main-eventing, I don't know what is.

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  29. "This period in WWE illustrated why splitting the Undisputed Title was a
    bad idea. They completely ran out of fresh main event options on
    Smackdown as they ran different combinations of Brock, Angle, Big Show
    and Taker into the ground."

    That's more due to them not inserting anyone else into the fold than any title split.

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  30. "(Remember, Vince in moderation = ratings, but anything beyond that gives you THIS.)"

    Moderation, does WWE even KNOW what that word means?

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  31. Didn't Vince vs Stephanie force WWE have to pay a huge fine since whatever city this show was held in had a rule against men fighting women?

    And remember that THIS show led to Survivor Series the next month where the entire buildup was for Vince vs Undertaker. Man, 2003 sucked the big one

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  32. Please explain the logic playing second fiddle to John Cena and a host of other people this year is main eventing? Just because of a title?

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  33. In terms of storyline impact. Punk has been involved in AJ and Bryan, while Cena's been working with a dude who got fired, the other guy with Bryan, and the current heel on the B-Show.


    Cena's freaks and geeks mean dick compared to Punk's Jericho and Bryan feuds.

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  34. Cena has been in the main events with his freaks and geeks.

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  35. that's actually quite a good comparism. kudos.

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  36. all I can remember is Steph ripping Sable's clothes off.

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  37. ''Cole wonders how he can do that after falling on his head. Because he’s CHRIS FUCKING BENOIT, you wank.''
    Not sure if that's supposed to be deliberate or not, but calling someone a ''wank'' made me chuckle.

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  38. Punk never cared about change. He just wanted his face on promotional cups and posters.

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  39. This PPV was the first PPV I watched after my dad died in 2003. Although this PPV didn't air until one or two weeks after he died, we knew Vince vs. Stephanie was a I quit match about a week to two weeks before he died - so I sent him an edited Scott Keith rant of an infamous "I Quit" match back in 2003. I think it was one of the last things he might have read concerning wrestling on this earth.


    - “I Quit” match: Vince McMahon vs. Stephanie McMahon Backstory: They HATE each other. That’s all you need. They slug it out, and fight on the mat like schoolkids, then slug it out again. Stephanie bails to the apron and Vince rams her to the cage. Stephanie responds in kind, then drops an elbow and does it again. Rear chinlock and Vince powers out in a rather famous visual. He presses Stephanie onto the top rope, but gets kneelifted. He slugs away on Stephanie, but gets tossed into the cage again and they fight on the mat. Stephanie goes to the cage, and then again out of a hammerlocked position. Her arm starts gushing blood, but he headbutts Vince low. Vince keeps digging at that arm, but Stephanie potatoes him, and busts him open. Stephanie kicks away and uses the mike to pound on Vince’s face and ask for the submission. Vince refuses, so Stephanie rams it into his forehead four times. They actually do this a few times, resulting in the crowd hearing this charming exchange over the PA: “SAY IT!” “NO!” THUNK. Hotshot into the cage and Stephanie goes up and hits an elbow, then more hijinx with the mike. “SAY IT!” “NO!” THUNK. They slug it out, won by Vince, and he uses the mike himself. “SAY IT!” “NO!” THUNK. They claw at each other’s eyes on the mat, and Stephanie knocks Vince silly with a right. Vince hits his own and grabs the mike, but Stephanie kicks him in the head to block. Inverted atomic drop and Vince just destroys her with the mike. “SAY IT!” “NO!” THUNK THUNK THUNK She drops some elbows and tosses the ref aside, as Linda throws a balsa-wood chair in, which shatters upon hitting the mat. Ah, American workmanship. Stephanie grabs a piece and tries to stab Vince in the eye, but it’s blocked. Vince grabs it from him, jams it into Stephanie’s eye, and gets the submission and at 14:22. That was one of the best-booked bad matches I’ve seen – I’ve gotta admit, even I was getting into it. The match itself, as a match, was spectacularly horrible, but the booking was good and both guys were jazzed to be out there, so call it **. And before everyone starts writing in and whining about how it was a **** match because they were so entertained by it, try going back and watching Tully-Magnum TA from 1985, which was a similarly-structured match and not only featured a better storyline, but also had some psychology in it and more credible offense.

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  40. Well she started having kids shortly (within three years) after this. Plus, I think when they started using Vickie as a heel, that she could never top that in terms of being a "annoying heel." Also she had been on TV for about five years, off and on, in usually the same "dominant" role as either a heel or a face (2002-03 run as GM) - plus 2003 was the year she actually finally married Triple H and I believe they both took a vacation around that time. Triple H came back within the next month, though.

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  41. "was all silly and cartoonish and worked
    within the context of what they were doing, but in the end it was just
    an excuse to give Stephanie another banishment from TV “forever” and
    didn’t make a bit of difference to anyone watching, nor did it draw a
    dime or have any effect on anyone who COULD draw money."

    The difference between the constant McMahon drama in 99 vs 2003. At least McMahons constantly being a part of every storyline in the Russo days was to the benefit of the wrestlers. 2003 McMahons were being pushed as the actual attraction to the detriment of talent like Lesnar, Kane etc.

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  42. Dude, they'd been married since '99. Remember, at the drive-thru chapel? Stephanie is out of it in the wedding video, though.

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  43. Nothing says "fighting champion" like David Flair. Or One Man Gang.

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  44. Jericho is a bigger star than Punk still.

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  45. I remember wishing it were the other way around. 2003 Steph did it for me ... until she talked.

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  46. Back in 2003 they had Vince McMahon go on raw and flat out tell Eric Bischoff that "This show SUCKS!"

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  47. They do admit their current product sucks when they constantly talk about how great the old days were. WWE used to NEVER talk about how great the old days were, the best time was always NOW.


    Except right now, when the Attitude Era is the best era. According to them.

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  48. Who reigns meant more in the canon of the wwe title Adam?


    Cuz this Punk reign means shit.

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  49. i think im like the only smark that absolutely loves stephanie mcmahon. i think outside of her daddys chin, she is definitely bangable. especially in 2009 during the orton/hhh fued leading to wm25. MILF

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  50. 1999 - Story-line wedding
    2002 - Story-line divorce
    2003 - Real wedding

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  51. Hey, what's that going over your head there? Oh, it's the joke...

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  52. "Now to be fair, RF was never actually CHARGED with anything. But that sort of technicality has never stopped me before."


    I believe the technical term is "libel."

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  53. Steph ended up getting into really good shape after having the three kids. http://www.rxmuscle.com/articles/bios-a-interviews/4792-stephanie-levesque-first-daughter-of-the-wwe,-super-mom-of-3,-woman-with-food-demons.html

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  54. you are not. Stephanie McMahon is a very attractive woman.

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  55. By what measure?


    Jericho has certainly had a longer career, but he's almost done.


    In terms of kayfabe hierarchy, Punk is right underneath Cena. As I said, he's the new Batista.

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  56. I've been wondering for over a year, so I'm finally gonna ask...why is there no "Dirk" in your name?

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  57. 90s WCW were spotty with how much respect they gave the US title. Sometimes it seemed like their true secondary title, a huge prize second only to the World title. Sometimes it was just a whatever title they'd chuck onto OMG, Hacksaw, David Flair, whoever. There were definitely times when the TV title seemed more important and hotly contested.

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  58. I never get the Zach Gowen hate, unless it's for the smarky reasons of him being a drug addict and malcontent. Yeah he had one leg, but the guy actually had a decent moveset, and he never let the one leg thing become a hindrance. He made sense as an underdog gimmick and, against midcarders who were closer to his small size, it makes sense for him to pick up some wins.

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  59. " Cena has been in the main events with his freaks and geeks."

    John Cena vs Daniel Desario. Book it!

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  60. Steph is still on my Fav Five Diva list. As long as her pitch is higher than a baritone.

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  61. Yeah and everybody and their mother sure cared, DIDN'T THEY?

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  62. To quote another guy on here (can't remember his name). This guy GETS IT!

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  63. "- Meanwhile, Vince shares pathos over having to beat up his daughter later tonight. Hey, I’m okay with it. (2003 was not my favorite year.) "
    I wholeheartedly endorse a 10 year anniversary rematch next year. After the way ratings have been consistently dropping over the years, it might turn into an all out shoot and one of them legitimately kills the other.

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