Probably a dumb question, but why aren't wrestlers constantly covered in bruises? Fake or not, they still hit things awfully hard if for no other reason than gravity. If I even tried something as simple as running the ropes I'm pretty sure my back and sides would be black and blue the next day
I think it comes down to "learning to fall" and spreading out the force of the impact over a larger area. Lots of times you DO see guys with bruises on their back and legs from a particularly stiff match against someone like a Low-Ki who kicks you hard for fun, but really WWE rings have been softened for the better to the point where there's probably not a lot of focused damage to parts of the body specific enough to cause bruising. Plus often when guys get bruised up from an Elimination Chamber or whatever, they'll get a day or two off to heal up or just hide it under a suit or shirt or whatever. The sport really has gotten 1000 times safer even since the 80s, for as much shit as we give the PG era.
Watch the end of the 'End of a Era' match from last year's Wrestlemania and you'll see Taker's back is bruised to hell. Being slammed on steel steps must sure hurt...
ReplyDeleteToo bad Dusty Rhodes didn't really 30 years later or he might not have bruised his side every night. What a nagging injury that was.
ReplyDeleteAs someone who is pale as Hell is that an added bonus of being really tan?
ReplyDeleteProbably more so a benefit of spray on tan...
ReplyDeleteI think a lot of it is people's bodies getting used to the contact. You hear of lots of people in training that get huge bruises just from running the ropes. As your body adapts, it stops happening.
ReplyDeleteAnd the, what, twenty full on chairshots.
ReplyDeleteSheamus is so pale that you can really see the bruises and welts on his body.
ReplyDeleteBut really your body just toughens up to it after a period of time
Apparently, you CAN learn how to fall off a 20-foot ladder, contrary to JR's claims.
ReplyDeleteSheamus?
ReplyDeleteI don't see the PG era as particularly responsible for making things safer - just a greater awareness of what got people hurt. Direct chairshots to the head and flying headbutts were the biggest culprits in CTE among wrestlers. A softened ring helps as well. The rest is fairly trivial.
ReplyDeleteI thought he just kept spilling grape jelly on himself in the morning.
ReplyDeleteI started indy training a couple of weeks ago and I can confirm that running the ropes (which, at least in my case are more like cables wrapped in electrical tape) does in fact leave bruises, especially if you don't do it right. You are supposed to be flat against the ropes when you hit which would minimize bruising but I thus far hit them slightly more with my right side and thus have bruised like a peach... though like any physical activity you will build up natural defenses to it after a time and hopefully lessen such damage. It sucks, but pain is part of the fun.
ReplyDeleteMaybe THAT'S why Kofi Kingston and Shelton Benjamin became the go-to guys for crazy ladder match spots.
ReplyDeleteJust make sure you know how to do a snap mare.
ReplyDeleteI have actually briefly worked on that... but why do you bring it up?
ReplyDeleteInside BoD joke.
ReplyDeleteElaborate... or do I have to hit a certain post count before becoming privy?
ReplyDeleteI wish they would get rid of whipping wrestlers into the ropes. I bitch about the 619 and hurricanranas exposing the business, but someone running into the ropes when they're going to get slammed/clotheslined/dropkicked is equally stupid.
ReplyDeleteIt's a long story. I'll see if I can dig up the thread.
ReplyDeleteOne other reason watching attitude era stuff is kind of funny now: every other match JR says something like "And there's probably some yahoo at home saying it doesn't hurt b/c he knows how to land right! That ain't true!!"
ReplyDeleteThe most recent version of Tough Enough had several shots of contestants with bruises from rope running. And that's with the (presumably) nicer WWE equipment. I had no idea something that "simple" could leave a mark.
ReplyDeleteEh. I think at this point it's become so "normal" that it's no longer exposing. On the ohter hand, the preening before signature moves that EVERYBODY does now really really needs to die. It was cool when Rock did it. Funny when S2H did it. But everyone since Cena is effing lame with it.
ReplyDeleteThe way it has been explained to me is that you are supposed to whip them then follow after them like you are going to do something but they respond with a clothesline or whatever... its not logictastic but its been around so long it is considered a basic.
ReplyDeleteThe schedule seems lighter now too. Everyone is guaranteed days off every week, and no more working 2 shows on Sundays, at the very least.
ReplyDeleteAnd nothing could ever expose the business or be as dumb as the 619
ReplyDeleteI keep intending to start a blog to document my experiences. Perhaps I will get Mrs. Parallax1978 to take a picture of said bruises to help the narrative
ReplyDeletehttp://www.rspwfaq.net/2012/08/wtf.html
ReplyDeleteThere it is. Scroll all the way to the bottom and enjoy. Also, completely irrelevant but in re-reading that, I noticed that I pegged TNA going downhill after BFG. Nostradamus up in this bitch.
I did when Foley opened his first book with losing his ear from being caught in the ropes because they were fucking tight.
ReplyDeleteYou haven't seen "the catalyst" do a snapmare yet.
ReplyDeleteI couldn't imagine pro wrestling without the irish whip
ReplyDeleteHaha I didn't even see this when I mentioned it above...ahhh good old c.a.b
ReplyDeleteI just read that whole thread. Wow... that dude was something else. Did he get banned? Is Ryan Murphy banned also? I don't see any of them anymore... and that match... there are no words.
ReplyDeleteYeah it is so common that you forget how dumb it really is... I mean the counter is really just "don't run".
ReplyDeleteThank you... I actually remember that thread (I had a job that kept me on the road back then so I was just a lurker until like 2 months ago) but wow... speechless... though it did kill the last hour of my work day (at my now much better job)
ReplyDeleteOh and if I ever start to come off as that big of a mark for myself, please let me know ASAP.
ReplyDeleteI believe he did get banned for awhile. Ryan Murphy is just on hiatus or something.
ReplyDeleteYup that match was something to see, if the patheticness wasn't too much to stomach
ReplyDeleteMan, how did I miss that wild flame war? Does that guy still post here?
ReplyDeleteBTW, that match was fucking awful.
I miss the crazy old 80's style running spot where both guys would just keep going and going and going like some kind of perpetual motion machine.
ReplyDeleteI miss the guy terribly.
ReplyDeleteStill think Sheamus as Brock Sampson is a great WWECartoon idea.
We need a BoD heel we can all hate. It makes it more fun. It's not the same with Dougie, he is like a special needs kid that is trying really hard. It makes you feel bad making fun of him.
ReplyDeleteI would offer to turn heel, but I'm like Austin in 2001, nobody wants to boo me.
The business is already exposed. Nothing exposes it anymore.
ReplyDeleteEvery now and then you get a good anti-smark troll here but they never last. Dougies all we get now a days. He does his best but it's like if IRS was wrestling main events in 1994. Ok he's a heel but we deserve better.
ReplyDeletePeople like Low-Ki or Vader or even DyBry (sometimes) that intentionally work(ed) stiff intentionally need to wake the hell up and knock it off. From the insider standpoint one of the primary objectives of a match is to make it look stiff w/out actually hurting each other! There is literally no point to actually kicking someone in a fake fight. And for everyone that says a stiff match looks better, I'd argue that the good wrestlers can make it look good w/out being stiff. For example, nobody ever criticizes Bret Hart's workrate b/c he pulled his punches.
ReplyDelete/rant
He isn't the troll the BoD deserves, just the one were stuck with right now.
ReplyDeleteI could try, but I'd be like current CM Punk, I bring the goods so YOU PEOPLE can't hate me, despite the fact you're all a bunch of mouth breathers with disgusting kids who'll end up being virgins like you living in your mother's basement.
ReplyDeleteWhile we're at it, Dougie is now my best friend.
BOO ME YOU PEOPLE!
"Whipper" Billy Watson would probably pull your shoulder out of your socket if you tried that counter son.
ReplyDeleteThey applied makeup to his back whenever the camera focused on Shawn crying in the corner.
ReplyDeleteWhich was often.
I gave it a shot for a good four months, that shit is exhausting.
ReplyDeleteI vote Regal/DBry/Punk shitkickings headline every show.
ReplyDeleteThat argument was unreal.... I was a visitor of the site for a long time before getting a account and after reading that I totally remember that hahah.... Someone should of set up a last man standing match! .... I have a big back yard!
ReplyDeleteIt's one of those things that you don't realize how often it happens until it doesn't. I think it was a Regal/Benoit match that didn't have any and it was surprising how odd it seemed. Also remember an indy match (Chris Hero vs someone I can't remember) where the top rope broke, and kind of eliminated the Irish whip and you could see the guys really struggling to work around it.
ReplyDeleteLOVED the Whipper!
ReplyDeleteOh come on, you've got one more good run in you Champ.
ReplyDeleteException made for the Elbow of Disdain, which is just awesome
ReplyDeleteEver notice how he shows bruises and bumps really easily? I actually think it's an advantage cause Sheamus always looks like he got the hell beaten out of him in a good way.
ReplyDeleteI'd offer up a heel turn but I'm kinda like the guy that no one knows, no one cares about. I've got no heat. I'm like Johnny Curtis.
ReplyDeleteI thought it was his stomach trying to push itself out from the inside to get away from him. I swear you could hear it screaming "help, help" during some matches.
ReplyDeleteeverytime i saw HBK crying in the corner it reminds me of the Cornette Timeline 97 where he recants the story of HBK/Bret hair pulling fight.
ReplyDeleteI thought he was Kuato.
ReplyDeleteSTILL FUNNY!
ReplyDeleteTheres a contingent.
ReplyDeletespeaking of which Sheamus's Irish whip should have wayyy more snap to it, just cuz...
ReplyDeleteHe is crying in the car after I overtook his 3rd place spot.
ReplyDeleteCULTSTATUS WE COMIN FO U N***A
the criss-cross/fall down spot. LOVED IT.
ReplyDeleteor the catalyst give a promo.
ReplyDeleteTHANK YOU!
ReplyDeleteStiffer =/= better its fucking stupid.
you stole my line!
ReplyDeletelearned or not, you can bet your ass it still hurts like hell.
ReplyDeletethe WWF ring got noticeably bouncier somewhere between 1998 & 1999. Watch an early '98 match and take note of the ring, and then watch, say...armageddon '99 (ha!).
ReplyDeleteI have convinced myself that it becomes a play in strategy when someone gets tossed into the ropes. The whipp-ee thinks he has a chance to change-up what's going on or get over on the whipp-er.
ReplyDeletewhipp-er: "I've got him on the ropes. I'm gonna whip him in an Irish fashion and set up my badass lariat. No way he gets around this one."
whipp-ee: "Oh, I've been whipped Irishly. This is my chance to duck under his assumed clothesline, have him jog over me, and then I'll catch him with a Samoan drop."
Because really, why else would he just not stop running?
which is what happened with the Rockers/Hart Foundation match from Saturday Night's Main Event. Even all of those absolute pros couldn't work the damn match after the top rope broke.
ReplyDeleteIt also happened on a UK PPV in 2001 or so in an Undertaker match, IIRC.
I see Murphy commenting often.
ReplyDeleteBret says that he always (virtually) hit as hard as he could without leaving a mark. Watching some of his stuff, I'm inclined to believe him. It really is an art-form.
ReplyDeletethat's NOT what she said.
ReplyDeletePlease demonstrate this guys. I'll even supply the 20-foot ladder
ReplyDeletegiggity
ReplyDeleteVince might disagree.
ReplyDeleteThis. I am not going to get into the whole thing again, but suffice it to say if you can't take a stiff kick you are in the wrong industry.
ReplyDeleteMuch harder than it looks... or else I just suck at it
ReplyDeleteUpdate: We worked on the snap mare some last night... it was all I could do not to laugh because of that thread.
ReplyDeleteI nominate you. You love to comment on your own comments, you could come up with a catchphrase/taunt and just respond to all of your own posts with it. For instance if Sandow were to do this he would respond to his own posts with "You're Welcome"
ReplyDeleteEven when you do land right, it still hurts
ReplyDeleteRobbie E. drops down to a knee and (presumably), uses the momentum to both spin himself and counter whip his opponent.
ReplyDeleteIt is his singular in ring contribution to the wrestling...and it's an Irish whip counter.
Oh, no, I totally agree that it still fucking hurts. I'm just always amused by the amount of derision in JRs voice.
ReplyDelete