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Oh, Brother

Front page of the Tampa Bay Times website.

http://www.tampabay.com/things-to-do/food/dining/hogans-beach-restaurant-in-tampa-needs-some-heavy-lifting/1275626

My love of train wrecks had me curious enough to beg my better half to check this place out several times but he refuses to go. Sadly this review won't change his mind.

Comments

  1. Hollywood Celebrity restaurants never do very well do they?

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  2. They need a new gimmick. If you can eat the 900 lb Andre burger and the Say Your Prayers seasoned steak fries in one sitting, Hulk's gotta come and play "Hulkster In Heaven" for you on his bass guitar.

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  3. The reviewer gives it * 1/2.


    We really shouldn't be surprised: it's always been tough to get more than ** 1/2 stars out of Hogan on a regular basis. Maybe if he had rehearsed everything enough in the weeks prior, he'd have hit *** to *** 1/2, maybe even **** with the right manager.

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  4. The page won't load but I gather the critic wasn't impressed?


    I'd like to see Kitchen Nighmares go in, the Ramsay - Hogan promos would be epic.

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  5. This place is pretty close to where I work and when I wrote that I wouldn't be a patron the 411 readers gave me a bunch of shit. This will be a late addition to tomorrow's column.

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  6. He and The Rock should open up a restaurant together. While food critics would call it average, the general public would overrate it to the tens. (or fives)

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  7. And he'll bring his buddies Metallica along too.

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  8. Is this place better or worse than Pastamania?

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  9. Of course he's got a wall devoted to slamming Andre...of course.

    Sounds like Hogan got into business with some shitty restaurant "operators" and I use that term loosely. There's so many out there and it seems like celebrities don't do nearly enough research before putting their name on a restaurant. Didn't the WWF restaurant in Time Square also have horrific reviews and ended up going out of business?

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  10. Restaurant owners and wrestlers are both, as groups, shady dirtbags.


    It should either go really well, or blow up spectacularly. It all depends on the synergy of the shady dirtbaggery from both parties.

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  11. I hope the place turns it around because regardless of if we like Hogan or not, the place creates jobs and that is pretty important right now.

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  12. I don't know that celebrity restaurants are considered for the food, are they? It's the spectacle and the ambiance more than anything else. If the service sucks, sure that could make it flop, but I doubt the people going to a Hulk Hogan-themed restaurant care if the food is 5-star quality.

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  13. I went to the WWF place in Times Square a couple of times and it wasn't anything special, but not half bad either -- although maybe by November 2000 they had the kinks worked out? It was more or less your typical overpriced Hard Rock Cafe kinda food.

    The one thing I do remember was that the gift shop (with overpriced WWF stuff, like that WrestleMania book) was a ghost town. There was never anybody else in there.

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  14. Aren't you the girl in the relationship? If you can't get Mr. Princess (Prince?) to take you somewhere you want to go... you are doing it wrong...

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  15. Yeah, I mean, Hogan lends his likeness and hopes to have money come in every month....other people actually depend on this for a living, so I can't see why anyone would cheer against it. I don't think we should be hoping for people to lose their job because Hogan held the title too long in 1997.

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  16. I think it was around for a couple of years...it was probably popular while WWE was popular, once WWE tailed off there wasn't a lot of interest in an over-priced restaurant based on it.

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  17. Just looked it up on Trip Adviser - epically bad reviews. I've never seen a score that low, although apparently there are 400 worst restaurants in Tampa which is a mind fuck.

    http://www.tripadvisor.com/Restaurant_Review-g34678-d3731415-Reviews-or10-Hogan_s_Beach-Tampa_Florida.html#REVIEWS

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  18. Eh, restaurants come and go. A good server will have always have a job, as will a good line cook.

    I don't feel that bad.

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  19. After 15 years of marriage it doesn't work like that. Have to pick and choose battles a little more carefully.

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  20. Really? Man I can't wait until Mrs. Parallax1978 and I make it to 15 years if that is the case so I don't have to do a bunch of stupid shit I don't want to do anymore...

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  21. Every time a customer eats the Andre burger, they die only a week later however.

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  22. I went there and my biggest problem was actually that they didn't get Kith enough. I wanted a Smackdown burger with an onion ring and JR's BBQ sauce. I wanted Steve-weisers. (Which wouldn't have been that hard to do.) Magic Hat will sell you beer and let you call it whatever you want. I wanted shots named after wrestlers and a lot more merch, and maybe a miniature "H.O.F." type area, and they did none of that.

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  23. Tprincess you have to.hit this place up for lunch and write a review for the BoD!

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  24. Of course no one expects it to be five-star quality. They do expect it to be tasty and cooked properly and delivered at their table with some sort of continuity. They expect the serves to know the menu and follow through on orders.

    No one's asking Hulk to provide Le Cirque on the water, just a decent eatery.

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  25. Oh man, I have to hit this place up next time I'm in Tampa. If Princess doesn't make it there by April 30, expect a review for the BoD from me.


    It won't be a great review because I'm afraid of food poisoning, but I'll at least get a beer and some mozzarella sticks or something. And I'll make sure to take a picture of the entire wall devoted to Hulk slamming Andre. Can I get bonus points if I get a picture with Jimmy Hart?

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  26. Yeah, you're going to be cutting a lot of deals during the course of a marriage so understand how to get the most value for each transaction. Hogan's beach restaurant just didn't provide enough reason.

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  27. I was pretty much thinking what Princess wrote, but she put it much better than I could.
    She's married, long term, and that's all about cutting deals, and the value of transactions.
    But I'm not really good with words, and shit, so I just said "..."

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