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Book Review: Death Clutch






If a wrestling fan, or Vince McMahon himself, were to create a template of the perfect pro wrestler, a specimen who would turn heads at airports and in arenas, a man with talent on the mic, a man with a legitimate athletic background, that template would pale in comparison to Brock Lesnar.


Indeed, Brock is perhaps the greatest talent WWE has ever discovered.  A goliath with muscle on top of muscle, it is this authors opinion that no man has had a better "look" for the genre. Add into the fact that Lesnar was an outstanding NCAA amateur wrestler who won a NCAA D-1 wrestling title? Even better. For the man to leave wrestling and become a legitimate MMA badass? Even better.

"Death Clutch" is the autobiography of a man who has lived a life greater than anyone on this website can ever attain to. Unfortunately, people looking for a magnum opus on the life and career of this unique athlete will be disappointed. Its not that the book is actively bad or anything...its just that there isn't much here. Its 207 pages of whatever Lesnar deigns to tell you. I read this thing in about three hours, and was left with one general feeling: "I want more."

Lesnar relates the story of his growing up poor in South Dakota, born into a family of dairy farmers. Actually, he doesn't relate that story too much, as this book is like a video stuck in fast forward. What you do glean from the first 30 pages of the book is that it was Brock's mom who instilled in him the insatiable will to win. Her philosophy basically boiled down to "You don't like to lose? So DON'T LOSE." And young Brock soaked that message in from day one, becoming a wildly successful amateur wrestler in High School. He eventually landed at Bismarck State Junior College. It should be noted that Brock wasn't necessarily a dominant high school wrestler. He was damn good, don't get it twisted, but he had yet to grow into his body. He was a late bloomer. Once he grew into that mammoth frame and experienced some great successes at Bismarck, including a NJCAA national title, he was recruited to the University of Minnesota, under the tutelage of legendary wrestling coach J Robinson.

Lesnar, by now pretty much filling into the man we have seen on the television airwaves, had quite a successful career at U of M. As impressive as his eventual NCAA Heavyweight Wrestling title is, I would say the stories of his failures leading up to that moment more succinctly describe the measure of the man. Simply, the man lost a couple of times here and there, most famously to a wrestler named Stephan Neal, who would go on to his own greatness as an offensive lineman for the New England Patriots (and as a Pats fan, Neal was excellent).

Lesnar came to a career crossroads: What does a successful amateur wrestler do once college ends. There is always the Olympics, the Kurt Angle approach, but Lesnar wanted none of that. In what becomes a recurring theme in the book, Lesnar wanted what most humans desire: cash. Cold hard cash. And at that point, the WWE had lots of it. WWE offered Lesnar a large deal to join the then Federation, and Lesnar was hooked. He wanted to escape poverty. He wanted to provide for his parents. With that in mind, he journeyed off to Louisville, KT to begin his pro wrestling apprenticeship.

Lesnar spent about 15 months in OVW, where he teamed up with fellow U of M wrestling standout Shelton Benjamin. Talk about a talented tag team. But OVW was not where an accredited athlete of Brock's stature wanted to be. He wanted the bright lights and big cities. Luckily for him, Vince McMahon is a mark for big men. And Vince was ready to push Brock Lesnar to the moon.

Brock made his WWE debut the night after WrestleMania X-8. There, he made poor Spike Dudley into his plaything. Speaking as someone who remembers that debut, it was impressive. Brock was impressive. Unfortunately, the book skips over Brock dominating Spike and the Hardy Boyz. That seems to be an issue throughout the book here: Brock loses perspective, especially regarding the men who helped make him. Brock would have been a main eventer regardless of any efforts Spike Dudley or the Hardy's made to put him over based on look alone. We all know Vinnie Mac's proclivities. But it would be nice if Brock at least acknowledged them in this book. Nope. Not happening. Instead, Brock relays stories of looking around the WWE locker room and not wanting to be like any of the wrestling lifers he saw. Particularly Ric Flair. He respected these guys for their in ring achievements, but did not want to end up being a 40 or 50-something wrestling to chase that last elusive big payday, that big spot. I find that admirable. Listen, a lot of wrestlers end up chasing the dream way too long. They burn the candle at both ends, spend money like its never going to stop coming in, and in some extreme cases, destroy their bodies and destroy their lives. Lesnar wanted no part of that. He relates a story in the book of a conversation he had with Curt Hennig. Hennig told Brock maybe the best single piece of advice any aspiring wrestler can hear: "Get in to get out." Perfect. Its just a shame that perfect advice could not be followed by Mr. Perfect himself.

Brock ended up winning the WWE Undisputed Title from the Rock at SummerSlam 2002. That was a true passing of the torch moment. Once again, the book is lacking in descriptions for this monumental wrestling moment. Brock then went on to face Undertaker at the next two PPV's, including their notorious Hell in a Cell match. For my money, that is a top 5 cell match, just incredible, especially with the amounts of blood Undertaker shed. Those looking for insight into the Undertaker-Brock rivalry though? Nothing to see here. I guess Brock, much like Taker in their first meeting, just wasn't "feeling it."

Brock traveled the WWE landscape with Kurt Angle. But even from the beginning it wore on Brock. Soon, to counter the turbulent lifestyle and daily aches and pains, he was washing down massive amounts of vodka and vicodin. Not a healthy diet. Brock eventually met Angle in ring at WrestleMania XIX in the main event of the show. Agent Johnny Ace, new to WWE, wanted to make a statement and have Brock win the title with a WrestleMania moment. That would be a 300 pound shooting star press. Brock knew the move: he had performed it regularly in OVW. But it had been a while since he had done it. He practiced it a few times, nailed it, and the move was in for his main event showing versus Angle. Angle and Lesnar had a fantastic match, one I feel is a bit underrated by the online pundits. When it came time for that infamous Shooting Star, I think everyone reading this knows what happened. Lesnar says he slipped on a sweaty top rope and under rotated. Regardless, it was ugly. Brock, by all rights, should be in the Darren Drozdov wing of the hospital. I watched it live and almost shit my pants. It was as ugly a botch as you are likely to see, and it is a testament to the toughness of Lesnar that he was able to finish the match. Angle also deserves a lot of praise for that match, seeing that he was performing with a BROKEN FUCKING NECK and reportedly went into convulsions backstage directly following the match.

So Brock was off and running as a two time WWE Champion. Sounds great, right? Wrong. Brock began to self destruct right here. He hated the schedule. He hated the travel. He loved being in ring performing, but the rest of the lifestyle rapidly grew old for young Brock. He asked for some time off. Vince said there was too much invested in Brock. Brock bought his own plane. Still didn't help. The straw that broke the camel's back was Vince telling WWE Champ Brock to lose to the Rock on a house show in Miami. The chapter devoted to this scenario just comes across as stupid and petty. Miami, for the uninitiated, is Rock's hometown. Rock MADE Lesnar by jobbing clean in the middle to him at SummerSlam. Sure, Brock was WWE Champ at this point, but Brock's rationale here is just plain wrong. Sure, he was strung along by master manipulator Vince McMahon. But its a HOUSE SHOW NON TITLE match with a man who transcended wrestling. Its fucking ROCK. Giving Rock a payback win in his hometown over the guy who had unseated him as WWE Champ? That's wrestling in a nutshell. Brock eventually went along with the plan, but had his foot firmly planted outside of the WWE by this point.

Brock was soon defeated by Eddy Guerrero at No Way Out 2004 for the world title, in an effort to let Eddy help draw in that growing Latino market. Brock was bitter. Brock states in the book that, before his decision to leave wrestling, he was supposed to beat Goldberg at WM XX in 30 seconds. Well, with him now leaving, that wasn't the case. What resulted was a hilariously bad match at Mania ending with Steve Austin, the guest ref, standing tall over the two belligerent behemoths. Brock had a battery of lawyers to help him escape WWE, but, in his own vicodin and vodka fueled hastiness, he took a look at a release form sent to him by WWE, said "Fuck it" and signed it. What he didn't realize was that Vince McMahon is a spiteful bastard. The agreement included a non compete clause through the year 2010. Ouch.

So Brock was out, and he decided the NFL would be a worthy venture. He was slated to have a pro day for the scouts...only to ruin himself with a motorcycle accident days before the tryout. Rule #1 if you aspire to be a sports star: That motorcycle is not a good idea. Ask Jason Williams.

Brock was not pleased that WWE wielded a clause or law over his head that prevented him from earning a respectable living. He fought them tooth and nail, and the WWE lawyers kept delaying and delaying and delaying. Truly the essence of the American Legal System. Brock eventually was able to fight out from under these rulings and resume a wrestling career in NJPW.

In the midst of all this, Brock bedded and eventually married his girlfriend Rena Mero. Over and over again throughout the book, he cites her as inspiration in his career and declares his undying love for her. I will leave the reader to make their own jokes on this, but I sincerely believe she and Brock have a true relationship.

Brock eventually got into the world of MMA. I am not a huge MMA guy, so I am going to spare details here and leave it to better writers who better appreciate MMA. I love boxing, pro wrestling and amateur wrestling, but I have never gotten too emotionally invested in MMA. Just a personal preference. Regardless of that, Brock's descriptions of how badly he wants to pound Frank Mir's face in are outstanding. He beat Randy Couture for the UFC Heavyweight Championship and validated a lot of pro wrestling fans in the process. He then defeated Frank Mir, a man who had beat him in his first UFC fight, and proceeded to make a total ass out of himself. He talked shit. Bud Light was a sponsor of the event, and in his post match interview, Lesnar said he was looking forward to drinking a bunch of Coors Light's. Dana White was non too thrilled, and chewed Lesnar out backstage. Brock's response? He said to Dana that he would walk into the post fight press conference carrying a KEG of Bud Light. That would have been AWESOME, to see this Neanderthal fighter carrying in a fucking KEG of beer to a press conference? Man alive. Anyway, it didn't happen, and we are all less enriched for it.

Brock soon relates his battle with diverticulitis. A truly harrowing experience that no one should deal with. Suffice it to say, Brock overcame the odds, beat the disease, and kept on fighting.

The book ends with Brock's fight against Cain Valasquez (the epilogue) and before Brock retired from UFC and jump started his WWE career. The book is short on pages and short on details, but it is still a fun read. Its a book you can finish on a day off, or one you can finish, if you use public transportation, in a couple of days on your way to work. Anyone expecting "The Next Big Thing" in wrestling books? You will be sorely disappointed.

Comments

  1. I bet he wishs he could divert that ticulutis over somewhere else lol. So it didnt hurt him he's a real champion though

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  2. In honor of Cesar Chavez Day on Monday...and April Fool's Day...let's remember the greatest Brock Lesnar moment in WWE history!

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MKD3B7WKFYY

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  3. Tss diverticulitis, it's when a diver tickle you light as or sumpthin' tss tss

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  4. Brock don't give a care

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  5. Here comes the pain...


    and by that, I mean another one of these book reviews.


    I keed, I keed.

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  6. Brock was awesome. His first few months were forgettable because they did the cliche monster. But everything after Summerslam 02 was great. He even got a fun match out of Big Show. Still wasn't a fan of the face turn but I get why they did it.

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  7. It's crazy to me that in February he's having a classic match against Eddie Guerrero and the next month he's gone.

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  8. **Add into the fact that Lesnar was an outstanding NCAA amateur wrestler who won a NCAA D-1 wrestling title? Even better. For the man to leave wrestling and become a legitimate MMA badass? Even better.**

    Dude needs to learn how to use a question mark.

    Suggestion...got online and type "Grammar for Dummies torrent". Download that shit. Read it. Then write.

    **"Death Clutch" is the autobiography of a man who has lived a life greater than anyone on this website can ever attain to.**

    So sayeth you. I have a wife, four kids, a nice house, good job and amazing extended family. From age 18 right up until 26 I spent my time travelling as a back-up musician all over the world on someone else's dollar. I was never famous and never will be famous but I earned good bank and had so many life changing experiences. My life until this very post has been nothing short of awesome and would never consider changing it up for NOTHING.

    Whether anyone here believes it or not I have seen and done things with people you would not believe. Example...in 1995 got to touch Naomi Watts' nipple in a night club in Sydney, Australia. She was doing a press tour for "Tank Girl" and after chatting for 10 minutes I (being quit inebriated) said that I thought she used a body double in the movie "Gross Misconduct" because I didn't believe those were her tits. Thanks to the dark corners of the Iguana Bar in Kings Cross, I was proved wrong.

    For you to make such a blanket statement reflects more your opinion on your life and how you view the people here. You have no way to make a qualified judgement like that. This may sound pissed off but it's not. It's the fact you drop bombs like this in all of your reviews and I seriously think you either don't comprehend what you are saying or you're just a piss poor writer. Or both.

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  9. I think the fact you let that throwaway line (and apparently others as well... which you refer to as "bombs") get to you so badly you needed to create an account and regale us with your awesome life says a lot.

    P.S. If you're going to be a Grammar Douche make sure you proofread your own comments.

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  10. 30 seconds... nope, I don't believe that was ever a possibility. Goldberg wouldn't do it, for one thing.

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  11. Naomi Watts has a penis.

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  12. It does sound pissed off...who cares if one person thinks Brock has a better life than you? Why does it matter? And really, touching Naomi Watts' (who is she, again?) nipple is your claim to put up against being WWE and UFC champion?

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  13. Clearly you feel very strongly about this.

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  14. Yeah, well I once derailed a train... with my penis!

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  15. "It's great. It's crack. It gets you really high."

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  16. I'm so glad someone got that.

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  17. Greatest sketch show ever.

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  18. "Whether anyone here believes it or not I have seen and done things with people you would not believe."

    That's quite a set up. I was hoping for something like "'Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion' or watching 'c-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate'.

    Copping a drunken feel of one of the co-stars of 'Tank Girl'...not so impressive.

    Chris isn't a great writer by any stretch - but his material is interesting and he does come up with some nice lines. Also, this review was definitely an improvement on the last one. There are a few issues, but it flows a lot better and I found it quite interesting.

    Anyway, if we're talking achievements, I may look like a guy who slept in his clothes, but I'm the son of a bitch who once saved the President's life.

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  19. I sincerely doubt that. But if she has, were you able to touch it?

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  20. What's fucking ironic is that he opined that the greatness of a man's life is not about the money, glitz or success but goes on to gloat about the most exciting moment in his life: brushing up against someone famous.

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  21. You can really hear Heyman's voice jump off the page in parts of this. Like in the section where he talks about critics who said he shouldn't get a title shot after only one win: "I'm supposed to say 'sorry Mr. Couture, I'm not good enough?' FUCK THAT!" It sounds so much like a Heyman promo I expected to see a little ECW watermark pop up in the corner of the book. Other than that I didn't mind this one, but it is a little short on detail and Brock really comes off like every bit the asshole he seems like on TV.

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  22. This.

    By the way, who is this guy to criticize some guy's work? All he did was employ hyperbole, and fuckface over here gets his cock all knotted up about it. And you know what? Since when does having a regular family validate your life? I get it, you love them and enjoy them. Big deal. You brushed against Naomi Watts' nipple. Again, you didn't fuck her, so big deal. Plus eight years of your life was spent freeloading as a BACK UP musician.

    If only you had made it big as a real musician. This way, you would've lived your life banging whores, therefore you would've spared us from hearing about your boring family and having to read four paragraphs of shit because you got angry at one guy's sentence in a review.

    Step on an AIDS needle, "Uuurrrgh".

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  23. If she had one, he would've married her and not his wife.

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  24. But...but...I met Jason Kidd once in a liquor store! My life is hella glamorous yo! Brock Lesnar be jealous.

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  25. I liked this better:

    http://youtu.be/vOKsskl3RmU

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  26. Speaking as an occasional writer, I always like to think "wait, before I write something, should I make sure to add a random tangent about some complete stranger's personal life? That's what good writing looks like, right?" Writers generalize, yo. Kind of something you have to do when, y'know, you don't personally know everybody who might possibly read it.

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  27. Goldberg was leaving too. Why would he care?

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  28. Lol @ "I have seen and done things with people you would not believe". Yeah man, I'm sure Brock would trade it all just to touch Naomi Watts' nipple

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  29. The guy refused to do a program where he'd destroy Chris Jericho, he refused to lose to Scott Steiner cleanly, and he only lost to Kevin Nash after being tasered. He didn't like to lose at all, I strongly doubt even if he was leaving that he'd lose in 30 seconds.

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  30. WOW YOU'RE A NERD

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  31. BROCK IS AWESOME AND ALL BUT I DON'T THINK HE WAS EVER A DRAW IN THE WRESTLING INDUSTRY.


    IIRC, ALL 2003 PPVS MAIN EVENTED BY BROCK DID WAY LESS BUSINESS THEN THE YEAR BEFORE. SOME RAW PPVS ACTUALLY DID BETTER THEN THEIR PREDECESSORS.


    AND WASN'T THERE A REPORT THAT HOUSE SHOW BUSINESS STARTED GOING UP AFTER BROCK LOSS THE TITLE TO EDDIE?


    I REALLY DON'T UNDERSTAND THE PART OF THE REVIEW WHERE BROCK DECIDED TO BE A TEAM PLAYER AND JOB AGAINST ROCK IN A HOUSE SHOW. I HONESTLY DON'T THINK HE EVER DID THAT. PLUS, HE BERATED THE FUCK OUT OF ROCKY IN THAT BOOK. CALLED HIM A POLITICAL STOOGE WHO WAS FAKE AS A FUCK.

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  32. I love that you list touching some chicks nipple as one of your "life changing experiences"...holy shit are you full of it.

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  33. Review needs more VIKING SPACE LORD BROCK LESNAR!

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  34. Holy lord, was this ever a million times worse than the silly, hyperbolic throwaway line it was in response to.

    Just awful.

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  35. Not sure if this was asked in the thread for Regal's book, but why did his book get NO publicity from WWE? It came out during a time when they were churning out books like they do today with crappy movies, and everyone's book would get pimped. I saw it in a bookstore just once, and they didn't even have a hardback version (and this was when it was just out), which would imply WWE didn't actually produce one.


    I always thought it was rather shitty on their part to leave this one in the dirt.

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  36. You can really hear Heyman's voice jump off the page in parts of this.


    That's b/c you were tripping on acid while attempting to read it.

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  37. "Hey Gorilla, whoisdisguy? How much does dis guy weigh?"


    "He's nobody, Art."

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  38. Or the fact that it was ghost written by Heyman.

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  39. WCW and WWE were two different beasts. Vince McMahon is not a pushover like Eric Bischoff was.

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  40. The thing I think of most about Brock coming into WWE was that you knew who he was the moment he debuted. And I don't mean knew in the sense of an indy darling finally making it out of FCW, but rather that if you followed any kind of (rasslin') news, there was a LOT of buzz about Brock months and months before he appeared on WWE TV.

    I remember that the moment he debuted, I immediately said to my friend, "That's Brock Lesnar!" b/c again, the buzz on professional wrestling... er, Brock just permeated the news sites for a long while.


    That's what's missing these days. There's buzz, but for some reason it just isn't the same.

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  41. Brock Lesnar walked out on Vince McMahon, went and got millions of dollars from Dana White for a few fights, and went back to a begging Vince McMahon for even more money for hardly any work.


    He's living a better life than us.

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  42. For me, it was the Ross Report on WWE.com, every week I kept reading the name Brock Lesnar. Then, he appeared.

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  43. Yeah, I imagine that the old Ross Report factored into that for me, as well. All I know is that when the camera zeroed in on him, I knew exactly who he was.

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  44. I maybe missed it in another thread or something, but can YOU PLEASE (sorry caps lock dude) explain this Viking space lord gimmick you got going with Lesnar so maybe me and half the board will get it?

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  45. On his way out or not, there is absolutely no reason to believe Goldberg would have agreed to this. His WWE tenure was 90% wins -- many of them dominant and decisive -- and he STILL gripes about that year because they didn't have him plow through their entire roster.

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  46. Goldberg's on his way out anyway, I can't see him caring about Vince's opinion.

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  47. I actually think his first few months were a great set up to the future. He ran through everyone as he should and didn't seem out of place in a title match with The Rock.
    Much like Cena, everything that made him popular with the fans was thrown away when he became the top guy in the company. I wanted to see the ruthless monster that won the belt, instead I got to watch a giant of a man smile like "he's just happy to be here."

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  48. The sad thing for me is back in 2002 I didn't even have the internet at my house yet (I was shocked when I saw Vince on nitro the year prior). I knew as soon as he came into the ring and destroyed everyone that he was someone special, simply by the presentation. I just wish they would do that with others. Get you to care from the start.

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  49. I loved the Brock from August-his face turn. Ruthless monster who tore shit up but also had great matches.

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  50. Exactly, so he wouldn't care about losing in 30 seconds. He'll take his check and go.

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  51. That's very true. It was really after he lost at Survivor Series where things trailed off.

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  52. I bought shaving cream 4 feet from Jack Swagger at my local CVS store. No lie.

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  53. http://th05.deviantart.net/fs70/PRE/i/2011/277/5/8/a_world_with_no_skies_by_al92-d4bs9v1.jpg

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  54. Alright let's not make a thing out of this, ok? FWIW I've never done acid. I totally would but its hard to find in my parts. And you really have some issues with people exercising personal choice that you might wanna work out.

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  55. I remember reading a thing about them signing him out of college, so he was news right from the start. Then, that was the days where you couldn't watch developmental online or anything, so when you kept hearing rumors about this giant in OVW who can do Shooting Stars, it made him grow in legend. Then when he debuted, everyone who knew who he was already could get excited and tell their friends about this new guy who is destroying people.

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  56. I once say in the nosebleeds at a house show and I swear he ALMOST looked my way!

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  57. I agree. Heyman's voice is heard in this book, no doubt.

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  58. I was once vox popping people on the forecourt of a petrol station and I asked Rowan Atkinson (Mr Bean, Blackadder) what he thought about fuel prices.


    He smiled at me and shook his head as he walked into his large Rolls Royce.


    It was the greatest moment of my life*.


    *This is not true. The greatest moment of my life was asking a question to a bored British Prime Minister as he ate fish and chips in Great Yarmouth.

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  59. I love it. You'd think he'd at least embellish and come up with someone besides Naomi Watts.

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  60. That's something I still don't get. Jericho was practically begging to get squashed. He wasn't asking to go 50/50 with Goldberg. He knew the score. He was the cocky heel who talked a big game but SPEAR! Jackhammer 1,000-0 for Goldberg.

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  61. He did some non-nonsensical rants comparing Brock to a Viking Space Lord or something. It was a really long rant. I skimmed through most of it.

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  62. I am not a man of hyperbole but that is the greatest picture I've ever had the pleasure of seeing.

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  63. I'll lay off; I've made my point. But if you don't want to be criticized, don't say things that invite criticism. People can exercise all the personal choice they want, including me calling others out for what I think is dumbass behavior.

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  64. i LOVE king's cross!

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  65. and who is naomi watts?

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  66. What is there to explain?

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  67. THIS WASNT A WWE BOOK, AMIGO

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  68. LESNAR'S TRAPS IS WHAT DID IT FOR ME. I JUST SAW HIM AS AN IDEAL OPPONENT FOR HOGAN. HIM AND HOGAN WOULD'VE DONE AMAZING BUSINESS BACK IN THE 80S

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  69. MELTZER INTERVIEW BROCK RIGHT AFTER WM 17 WAS OVER.

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  70. Keep it germane to the topic at hand and you can say whatever you want. Otherwise we got a problem, and I have the power of censorship at my chubby little fingertip ;)

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  71. Really? If not, I'm surprised it even came out then, what with WWE's need to be ever in control of any and all of their talents and their activities.

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  72. Remember when she was really popular?

    That was a fun weekend.

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  73. He's also going home to Sable.


    So I think it's balanced out.

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  74. Lotta carbs in alcohol Ryan...

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  75. This came out while he was still in UFC, WWE still had him blacklisted.

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  76. Oh no, I was asking about REGAL's book. The question occurred to me long after Chris has done the review for that book, and since this was another book review, I figured I'd ask here.

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  77. Hmmm, the book came out in 2005, so I'm sure why they didn't promote it.

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