Hello guys, my computer is about to die so I'll make this short and sweet. Expect more build to a Wrestlemania that appears to be getting universally shat on and will still do over a million buys.
So enjoy the show, come out swinging but make sure to keep it clean.
So enjoy the show, come out swinging but make sure to keep it clean.
Way more excited for tiger14 tomorrow than I am for wm29
ReplyDeleteAnyone up for a drinking game tonight?
ReplyDeleteNice light one for a Monday night: Every time an announcer makes a forced laugh (including chuckling through one of their own one-liners), take a sip and post "sip."
Those of us up here in Canada will be 15 minutes behind most of you, but with our stronger beer we should be able to catch up.
There was actually a point where I would stay at work until 8 just to not miss any of raw and the live thread but lately I would just rather catch it on DVR and retroactively read the thread. To hard to get home by 5, not worth sitting in the office til 8. Hopefully rock and cena do something to save the main event.
ReplyDeleteOh thats a brilliant idea and we need to do one for wrestlemania
ReplyDeleteI'm sick and there's no way I'm staying up until 11 PM to finish this show. So enjoy everyone. Let's hope Rock and Cena do SOMETHING tonight.
ReplyDeleteI just realized that I can actually be on the live thread tonight just because I'm not gonna stay up to watch the show so I don't need to avoid spoilers.
ReplyDeleteI just see no reason to rush home and not get dinner or grab a drink or whatever I could do so I can watch a video package of cena and rock set to emo punk.
ReplyDeleteYeah exactly. I see no need to really try to watch the show. Especially if I've got to stay up til 11 to do so. Ain't nobody got time for dat.
ReplyDeleteBut we NEED you to reclaim your rightful throne as top poster!
ReplyDeleteI'm way more excited for a damn Luigi game than WM 29 and I paid a couple hundred for a WM ticket. I'm an idiot....
ReplyDeleteHey man, I am a WAY bigger idiot than you. I was once excited for a Randy Orton/Triple H match! You haven't even begun to experience idiocy.
ReplyDeleteALRIGHT GUYS! TONIGHT, I'M TAKIN A BREAK FROM MY "GETTING HEAD" FESTIVITIES. DON'T WORRY, MY PEEPS, I WILL ON THIS WEBSITE EVERY SINGLE SECOND TIL THE SHOW IS OVER. WOOO!!!!!!!
ReplyDeleteWe all know you're talking about a mannequin head with "EM PLEH" written on its forehead.
ReplyDeleteJust read that flair was directed to go to the hospital after looking very ill at raw. That ain't good.
ReplyDeleteWHATEVER MAKES YOU HAPPY!
ReplyDeleteDamn, I hope he's alright
ReplyDeleteKeep "woooo"ing and we may have to send you to the hospital due to a blood clot.
ReplyDeleteI WAS TALKING ABOUT BLOW JOBS, FYI
ReplyDeleteI hate that I have a full slate of shows to recap tonight. I was really going to enjoy snarking on Fandango and watching HHH's segments die a death on live TV.
ReplyDeleteNow I have to actually be pithy when commenting, since I'll only have commercial breaks.
DON'T GO THEREEEEE
ReplyDeletebeing from Europe (you know, that continent that had its last relevant ppv in 1997), I can assure you that many of us "smarks" here - me included - would be even bigger idiots than you and even pay loads of money for a b-ppv if we would get it.
ReplyDeleteEh, my friend offered me a ticket for tonight's show, but I'd rather do work than actually spend money on the show (ticket wasn't free).
ReplyDeleteNice to see Dwayne giving a shit and actually showing up to promote WM with two weeks left.
ReplyDeleteThe Punk...is here!
ReplyDeleteSame here. Didn't seem worth the trip down 95.
ReplyDeleteCome on Punk - convince us you've got a shot!
ReplyDelete'Who are they, Paul (Heyman)? Who are they, Paul (Bearer)?' - genius.
ReplyDeleteHmmm, that's the sound of the crowd not caring
ReplyDeletePlus, my mindset was that if I passed on Mania (mainly due to being a good older brother and getting my sisters Jay-Z/Justin tickets for their birthday... in August), why would I go to a random Raw?
ReplyDeleteWOULD'VE BEEN FUNNY IF PUNK WOULD'VE DRESSED UP AS TAKER AND HEYMAN DRESSED AS PB
ReplyDeleteMAN, CM PUNKS WORK LATELY HAS BEEN BORING THE FUCK OUT OF ME
ReplyDeleteHe seems like he's phoning it in a bit. And I love it all, I'm a huge mark for the guy. But I gotta call a spade a spade
ReplyDeleteLOL HEYMAN HUSTLE INDEED
ReplyDeleteReports are saying he has issues with creative, partially stemming from the fact that this really isn't a match he wanted.
ReplyDeleteYEA MAN, CAN'T BLAME HIM. HE'S NOT IN THE MAIN EVENT AT WRESTLEMANIA AGAIN
ReplyDeleteIf this was a week ago, Punk could of gotten away with the Tuck Rule.
ReplyDeleteThis Undertaker feud hasn't been his most incredible work, but the dude did just wrestle arguably the greatest match in Raw history just a few weeks ago...
ReplyDeleteNOW HOW CAN YOU DISLIKE THAT? ADAM CURRY? IS THAT YOU?
ReplyDeleteWhat match did he want?
ReplyDeleteWhatever happened to keeping them apart (no contact) until the actual match?
ReplyDeleteThat makes a lot of sense to me. He seems almost disinterested.
ReplyDeleteFandango looks like a shorter version of Khali.
ReplyDeleteOH NO! This storyline is about the urn! THE FUCKING URNNNNNNN!!
ReplyDeleteA panel!
ReplyDeleteHE'S A GREAT WRESTLER BUT HIS PROMOS HAVEN'T BEEN CUTTING IT
ReplyDeleteHey, it worked for Mr. Hughes.
ReplyDeleteWait, no it didn't...
So, honest question: had Paul Bearer not died, would this angle have been better or worse?
ReplyDeleteSlowly pan up from that man's package!
ReplyDeleteReports didn't specify a specific match, but the dirt sheets have been saying that Punk's biggest goal is to close out a WM. So I'm guessing he probably, in an ideal scenario, would have wanted to be in with Rock and Cena, as a three-way.
ReplyDeleteStill think Punk's promos are smarter than any others in wrestling. Not really his fault that he has no-one to bounce off. And, let's be honest, if Taker tried to go toe-to-toe with Punk on promos he'd get trampled.
ReplyDeletehonestly, with the injuries and him working at the top for over a year, i wouldn't be surprised if the guy is just flat out exhausted. He needs a break for a couple of months, recharge his batteries and come back in a huge way. WWE is just pushing him hard to become a cartoon villain and what he needs is to come back with that tweener edge.to his personality. that cool asshole shtick he usually does. It won't happen if WWE is constantly pushing him as the evil of all evil.
ReplyDeleteI can see Vince in the back right now: "Punk is acting like such an asshole! I'm sure the crowd would love to see him lose in 17 seconds! Write that down, Steph."
ReplyDeleteProbably better. They're a little lazy with this build-up and they would've been forced to think without the Bearer tragedy. But it was underwhelming from the start with that silly fatal four way match to set it up.
ReplyDeleteI agree it would have been better, as it would have been more about competitiveness, and Punk's desire to take away Taker's streak.
ReplyDeleteBut part of me wonders if the urn might not have been involved regardless.
Love the entrance and different camera work... something they haven't really done since Golddust.
ReplyDeleteThey're going all out with the entrance for Fandago. But you see how well that worked for Glacier.
ReplyDeleteMy nephew just said FAG-WAN-GO
ReplyDeleteBlood Runs Cold.
ReplyDeleteGOLDUST VS FANDANGO WRESTLEMANIA XXX BOOK IT VINCE!
ReplyDeleteAs long as Kaz Hayashi stands to gain once more, I'm cool with that.
ReplyDeleteI didn't dislike it, but let's just say this wasn't the first time that was said on a Raw live thread.
ReplyDeleteOH :(
ReplyDeleteJericho, I get you want to put over the young talent, BUT PLEASE PUT YOUR FOOT DOWN ON THIS ONE.
ReplyDeleteIs that heat?
ReplyDeleteI think that's heat.
ReplyDelete*Puts foot down on Fandango's chest*
ReplyDeleteCOME ON BABYYYYY!!!
You know, they could have just hired Disco to do this Fan-dang-ohh stuff.
ReplyDeleteNo, it's Velocity.
ReplyDeleteHe risks becoming the new Mick Foley, where he spends so much time doing nothing but putting guys over that the rub eventually loses meaning.
ReplyDeletelol. Nice.
ReplyDeleteDolph-Jericho again? Hopefully they get some time.
ReplyDeleteDAMN THAT HEAT WAS NUCLEAR
ReplyDeleteI think we're already at that point.
ReplyDeleteTouche.
ReplyDeleteWait a second, where's Cult? Did I miss something? He's basically our moderator and host for these things.
ReplyDeleteI kind of like that though. The certain things that only exist in wrestling are the things I really enjoy.
ReplyDeleteMaybe Caps Lock Man hooked him up with girl who give 3 hour BJs.
ReplyDeleteGAVE HIM THE GIRL'S NUMBER WHO GAVE ME A 3 HOUR BLOWJOB LAST MONDAY
ReplyDeleteI JUST FINISHED SAYING THAT, MAN
ReplyDeleteI was first.
ReplyDeleteDied on the way back to his home planet?
ReplyDeleteNAH UH
ReplyDelete2 MINUTES AGO BUCK
ReplyDeleteI'm imagining Viking Space Lord Brock with the Poochie overdub now.
ReplyDeleteIT SAYS A FEW SECONDS AGO. AGAIN WITH THE LIES
ReplyDeleteImagine if Fandango's first match is beating Jericho at Mania. Best first match ever? Hey that's a good topic for the blog. I'm going to email that one to Scott.
ReplyDeleteThat's because this storyline is awful. There's no suspense in who's going over. Not to mention, it looks like BOTH guys just don't care.
ReplyDeleteStill not sure what I think about Fandango essentially debuting at WM (if that indeed is the plan).
ReplyDeleteOh, shit. Call Dr. Shelby...
ReplyDeleteWhen CAPS LOCK MAN types something, I just picture Dr Doofenschmirtz with a keyboard.
ReplyDeleteMuch like AJ Styles, there's just something wrong about Jericho having tats.
ReplyDeleteLooks super weird.
Glacier over the Gambler on WCW Pro. Don't ask me how I know this; I just do. But that's the best debut ever.
ReplyDeleteARE YOU CALLING MY CHARACTER INTO QUESTION?
ReplyDeleteLawler's unabashed love for Fandango is the best angle they have going into Wrestlemania.
ReplyDeleteUgh. Fangango's jobber beats Dolph.
ReplyDeleteWith the way Ziggler takes bumps, I seriously wouldn't be surprised if he broke his neck or something.
ReplyDeleteI think Fandango is too old for Jerry.
ReplyDeleteBig E has chesticles.
ReplyDeleteProbably the boys in Fozzy taunting him. "You can't be in a rock band and NOT have tattoos, dude."
ReplyDeleteAre they reshuffling the midcard yet again?
ReplyDeleteBig E needs to use Faarooq's Dominator as a finisher, not whatever that thing is he uses currently.
ReplyDeleteHow many people is Jericho going to have issues with?
ReplyDeleteSAY MY NAME!!!!! WHAT'S MY NAME?!!
ReplyDeletePlease, AJ. PLEASE go under the bottom rope again in those short shorts.
ReplyDeleteThat was a damn massterpiece.
It's kind of weird that 2/3 of their roster really can't afford too many losses because of all the 50/50 booking. I was trying to think of who Jericho should make tap out to look strong, but I feel like most of the roster is full of losers (even when so many of them are extremely talented) and couldn't come up with anyone.
ReplyDeleteSip.
ReplyDeleteThat'squite noble of ya, especially considering the prices I saw for that concert. Just insane.
ReplyDeleteHas Johnny Curtis improved at all in the ring? He was ROUGH the last time I saw him.
ReplyDeleteSnoop Doggy Dooooooogg
ReplyDeleteI remember it well.
ReplyDeleteYOU'RE ACTING KINDA SHADY; AINT CALLIN ME BABY. WHY THE SUDDEN CHANGE?
ReplyDeleteWE THE PEOPLE!!
ReplyDeleteSip.
ReplyDeleteHe can get into the ring a little more cleanly now.
ReplyDeleteAlso, I guess he has a new finisher. Do we call that the Arthur Murray Jam?
I think Fandango may be the worst character the WWE has introduced in many a year. All my opinion of course but he annoys me to the point that he'd have to have the wrestling ability of 50 Daniel Bryan's for me to give a shit
ReplyDeleteI will say I like that they're portraying Fandango as slightly psychotic/unhinged. However, the music somewhat undercuts the effect of that portrayal.
ReplyDeleteDidnt Big Show win the title in his first match in WCW? That would be a better debut in my opinion.
ReplyDeleteImagine if "you can't wrestle" turned into the new "What?"
ReplyDeleteThe way they book Dolph in contrast to the way they book Big E, I could totally see the two of them losing at Mania, followed by Dolph bitching Big E out and then getting crushed by him.
ReplyDeleteOh great. We get to hear HHH basically beg for sympathy again over the fact that this could be his last match. Please, hometown faithful...do us proud.
ReplyDeleteYeah, he's got the psycho part down.
ReplyDeleteCarlito not only won the US title from Cena in first match, but has him stabbed for good measure.
ReplyDeleteWait until Cult see's her Adams Apple.....
ReplyDeleteyes, another HHH segment where he can get all teary-eyed and try to get that "moment" he's been craving ever since he got the "You tapped out" chant at Summerslam. I swear, he is going to have as many retirements as it takes until he gets that friggin moment.
ReplyDeleteNah, only select guys get the "You can't wrestle" chant.
ReplyDeleteBut in the darkest timeline, EVERYONE was getting what-ed.
When people are what-ing Bret Hart, HBK, Ric Flair and The Undertaker, folks need to start getting open-palm slapped.
I'D BORK STEPH. "LIKE" IF YOU WOULD BORK STEPH
ReplyDeletePick from this list of midcard heel jobbers: Cody, Sandow, Barrett or Cesaro.
ReplyDeleteI'll say this about the new GI Joe movie: Cobra Commander's uniform looks MUCH better.
ReplyDeleteSip 3
ReplyDeleteStephanie Tanner from Full House?
ReplyDeleteOh, the days when the US Title was so coveted that someone would commit attempted murder to obtain it. At this point, I bet Cesaro would give it to you in exchange for a gift certificate to TGIFridays.
ReplyDeleteI hate conforming to the IWC stereotype of a guy who hates HHH, because I don't. He's one of my all-time favorite performers. Even while his politics in the past have pissed me off beyond measure, I've always loved watching the guy perform, in the ring and on the stick.
ReplyDeleteBut is it wrong that I'm feeling a strange sort of glee watching his segments just die on live TV while he tries his best to go for "epic"? I just like the idea of audiences rejecting the narcissism involved in this angle, to a certain extent. I mean, yes, the angle is over, but not nearly to the extent one would expect it to be.
I'D BORK HER TOO
ReplyDeleteWho actually became the hottest of all the girls all grown up. Who would've seen that one coming?
ReplyDeleteDJ IS WAY HOTTER NOW
ReplyDeleteNO
ReplyDeleteYES
ReplyDeleteI don't know what WWE's obsession with this song is.
ReplyDeleteI mean, really, how many PPVs, packages, etc. have they used this for? Hell, didn't they use it last year for the "Wrestlemania is X days away?" promos?
I bet the fans in that Mania promo were told they were shooting a Yankees opening day commercial so the excitement came off as genuine.
ReplyDeleteTotally agree on that.
ReplyDeleteWhich one was on the drugs?
ReplyDeleteHer and at least one Olsen twin.
ReplyDeleteSTEPH, DUDE!!!!
ReplyDeleteCan't wait for baseball to start.
ReplyDeleteRegular season, not this Spring Training shit.
Guys I'm tired of:
ReplyDeleteA) Sheamus.
That is all.
Also, it was in Assassin's Creed 3 commercials which aired endlessly during RAW up here in Canada.
ReplyDeleteWhat was up with Jericho so obviously talking to Fandango after he laid him out?
ReplyDeleteI have a feeling that someone is about to get their ass kicked...
ReplyDeleteTHIS WUT I DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
ReplyDeleteZeb seems to be channeling Russel Peters' dad through Twitter. "Somebody a'gonna get hurt a'real bad!"
ReplyDeleteAh, a good old fashioned jumping while doing an interview.
ReplyDeleteand/or their wig split.
ReplyDeleteAs a Yankees fan, I'm actually dreading opening day and the first glimpse of just how bad this overpriced, aged, fragile team of DL candidates is going to be.
ReplyDeleteThose Olsen girls have looked like monkey's since they were babies. Ugh...
ReplyDeleteI don't have the same hatred for him that a lot of people do. But narcissism is exactly what bothers me too. Crowd emotions need to be organic, or the performer risks having happen what happened to HHH last time he tried this.
ReplyDeleteTheir sister is pretty hot though.....
ReplyDeleteBreak his neck? Beat 'em up?
ReplyDeleteBut first you need the HHH Wrestlemania montage.
ReplyDeletehttp://youtu.be/SPFCHuEegsk
Like Kwee-Wee from WCW.
ReplyDeleteAw c'mon fella!
ReplyDeleteI am co-signing that.
ReplyDeleteMeh...maybe The Miz. Fucking douche.
ReplyDeleteSo I guess you won't be picking up The Marine 4: International Waters?
ReplyDeleteWill Tout Girl be back tonight? She's probably more over than any of the Divas.
ReplyDeleteI'd bang the Olsen Twins first, cause you know, they're TWINS.
ReplyDeleteIt's not a triple powerbomb, it's an assisted powerbomb.
ReplyDeleteOoh...a folding chair I don't need which is only $80! (after I buy $50 of crap I don't need)
ReplyDeleteShe WOULD make the Touts a tiny bit less insufferable.
ReplyDeleteIt won't happen until all the current fans die and we're left with the young fans who think he's a legend because he's been booked like a legend since he's fucking the owner of the company's daughter.
ReplyDeleteBut only ONE has herpes. Choose wisely.
ReplyDeleteOne twin brother gets a DUI = both brothers job to one man because Vince can't keep straight which one to punish.
ReplyDeleteHere comes the WWEs version of a DUI sentencing.
ReplyDeleteThe Usos--big, talented, Samoan, and a legit tag team--why are they jobbing again?
ReplyDeleteAh, I forgot about the DUI
ReplyDeleteThey already got more offense than I expected.
ReplyDeleteGetting a DUI means you get on TV for the first time in six months. Why don't more guys try that?
ReplyDeleteBecause they're a tag team. That's why.
ReplyDeleteooh, who's Tout Girl?
ReplyDeleteI'd rather not get my wig split or drooled on by Ryback.
ReplyDeleteEven if you get it, it goes away. ...... right?
ReplyDeleteSeriously, a two-count on the Devourer of Souls?
ReplyDeleteI didn't think they'd get so much as a right-hand on the big man.
Only in wrestling.
ReplyDeleteI want Stan Stansky back as the resident RAW jobber
ReplyDeleteIs Tout Girl the Miz girl all grown up?
ReplyDeleteAm I the only kid that would be disappointed if at my party?
ReplyDeleteKinda like Vince trying to figure out which Olsen twin has herpes....
ReplyDeleteNothing beats a wrestler that does his own commentary.
ReplyDeleteVince: "Beat the shit out of the one who got the DUI."
ReplyDeleteMark: "Which one got the DUI."
... long pause...
Vince: "Beat the shit out of both of them then."
This chick: https://twitter.com/StephanieSias27
ReplyDeleteShe was interviewed by PWMania, which gave out her Twitter handle at the end. Seems like a cool girl. And hey, she's 19, so you don't have to feel squicky.
I don't think he'd care.
ReplyDeleteJobbing legit tag teams in handicap matches is stupid but at least the Usos got in a decent amount of offense.
ReplyDeleteVince hasn't been this mad at a set of twins since he learned that Curt Hawkins and Zack Ryder weren't actually brothers.
ReplyDeleteYeah, you want Dolph Ziggler to show up, cause he'll job to you.
ReplyDeleteThey sure have these 'rare' champion vs champion matches pretty often.
ReplyDeleteHe would be the one giving the herpes....
ReplyDeleteSo I take it Tout Girl is the equivalent to a "hot girl walks into a comic book store"?
ReplyDeleteDwayne "The Rock" Johnson: Home-wrecker
ReplyDeleteCesaro hasn't jobbed to Del Rio in like, two weeks. Time for another round! (At least it's not Orton-Cesaro, again.)
ReplyDelete"John Cena fucks a beat ass porn star"
ReplyDeletePlus we saw this exact same match a couple of weeks ago
ReplyDelete