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The Only Review of WrestleMania 29 That You'll Ever Need



Alert the villagers. Grab your pitchforks and torches and head to Castle Winfieldenstein. Because I am LOVING this show. 

By popular demand, my review of WrestleMania 29.

Randy Orton, Sheamus, Big Show vs. The Shield
Cole reminds us of Orton's WM moment when he won (retained) the title at 24. The match starts off with Sheamus and Orton handling the Shield without Big Show's involvement. That all changes when he tags himself in. He's able to handle them until Ambrose takes him out with a dropkick to the knee. Afterwards, Show gets the hell beat out of him equally from each member. We see Randy and Sheamus standing in the corner, and I imagine their conversation is something like, "So, you mean to tell me you NEVER tan? EVER?" "Nope, no tannin', fella" "You just mean no tanning beds, right? You're still open to self-tanner, right? I have a great brand! It's supposed to be used as a deck stainer, but it gives me an awesome glow." Eventually, Sheamus gets in and turns the tide with some forearm clubs and rolling sentons. They turn it back and are about to deliver a triple powerbomb until Big Show saves with a triple spear. Randy tags himself in for a bout of show-boating that only earns him a spear, losing the match for his team. All in all, not an opener forged from the fires of hell, but perfectly suitable. The Shield was more than capable of holding their own, and didn't win as a result of any fluke. 
Randy eats a spear from Reigns, and a pin from Ambrose at 10:35 | ***


Big Show is displeased with the outcome and knocks out Sheamus and Orton. Which is great, because their whole "Man! We're smilin' good guys here to stomp the baddies!" deal was lame sauce. I imagine in the back Sheamus at some point said "Nah, Orton. Put MORE Vaseline on your teeth, fella! See this grin? It's 80 percent petroleum!"

The video for Cena vs Rock is rather good, and does a far better job of promoting the match than the TV leading up to it.

Mark Henry vs. RybackThey mention the Bench Press Competition beforehand, and if Henry really repped out 225 for 53 reps, then that doesn't speak so much for his strength, but his body's ability to not produce lactic acid. The only reason I'm glad Ryback is around is because Maffew is using a clip from Under Siege 2 in his videos. See, Segal's character in the Under Siege series is named Casey Ryback. He's a Navy soldier, as well as a cook. One thing you need to know, nobody beats him in the kitchen. The punch/clothesline exchange clearly has the crowd behind Henry. After a small bit of offense, Henry controls the entire match with clotheslines, head-butts, slams, and the ultimate crowd pleaser, a bear hug. Seriously, Ryback got in maybe six moves total. He goes for the Shellshock, but Henry grabs the ropes, causing Ryback to fall forward, with Mark crushing him. Finish was odd, but the crowd sure popped when he got him up for the Shellshock. Please, put Henry in a main event feud, he's a fantastic monster.
Henry crushes Ryback's skull for the pin at 8:03 | *1/2


Dolph Ziggler & Big E Langston vs. Team Hell NoAJ doesn't work whatsoever in the roll of Ziggler's manager. I'm sure that I'm in the minority here, but I miss Vickie. I think they really should have done the Kiss of Death deal again, it would have made this match a hell of a lot more memorable. Biggie's move is just begging to be reversed into the Tombstone. He's doing the brunt of the damage, while Dolph comes in to pick at the scraps. He eventually tries to use the briefcase, only to catch a chokeslam and flying headbutt for his troubles. Nothing to complain about, nothing worth getting tattooed over. 
A chokeslam & flying head-butt put Ziggler down at 7:29 | **1/4


Pretty elaborate entrance for Fandango. I tell you, I was sick of the whole "Fandangoing" thing the Tuesday after Raw when I saw my Facebook feed and there were about 500 Fandango memes. Memes are not funny. EVER.

Fandango vs. Chris JerichoIt's nice to see Jericho in babyface mode. King lets us know we can get a WM chair for $80, if we buy $30 worth of WWE stuff from K-Mart. Sounds like a fair deal. MORE than a fair deal. I still don't get Fandango's character. He's a dancer? Is he trying to get on "Dancing With The Stars" and using the WWE as a platform ala Double J?  I've been wondering why Jericho is so much smaller than his earlier days, and I recently saw an interview where he says he no longer hits the gym, and instead does DDP Yoga. I prefer the bigger Jericho, but I hear that DDP Yoga is some top notch stuff. As for the match, Jericho controls for a while until he attempts his 2nd-rope-leap-to-the-outside and Fandango counters with a simple, yet under-stated kick to the face. What the fuck is with these stupid twitter tickers? Did Vince just recently see VH1's retrospective documentary on the TRL Years and decide to implement some of the hip-kid stuff from 13 years ago? Fandango has a great set-up move where he dips his opponent, then snaps back with a reverse Russian leg-sweep. He needs to ditch the top rope leg-drop though, that's just gonna do bad for him after a few years. The match is good stuff. Fandango is clearly out-matched, yet he finds moments to use his younger age and agility to get one over on Jericho, and in the end had the right move at the right moment. Fandango won without it looking like a fluke, and I think it definitely sets things up for a rematch. 
Jericho is rolled up for the pin at 9:33 | ***


We get an introduction of WrestleMania clips set to one of the themes from Rocky, to introduce us to a man who is the living embodiment of professional wrestling and the very name WrestleMania: Puff Daddy.

Again, the video package for the Swagger/Alberto feud has it looking rather well done. I know that isn't the case, but their video team could sell someone coming out on top of a Triple H feud to Triple H himself.

Jack Swagger vs. Alberto Del Rio [C] - World Heavyweight Championship
I love that Lilian makes sure to mention that Swagger is a "real American". Yeah, when you're rockin' a Stars & Stripes six-string, then we'll talk, bucko. Once the match starts, neither are able to hold momentum for long. It's always nice when matches stray from the "bad guy beats good guy till good guy makes comeback" formula. Great moment when Swagger is sitting on the second rope and Alberto snaps off a Backstabber. Swagger soon has a great moment of his own when he reverses the cross-arm-breaker into the Patriot Lock. Soon afterward, Swagger taps to the CAB in a match that should have been a lot better. There wasn't anything wrong with it, but it honestly needed about 5-10 more minutes, with a great finishing sequence. 
Swagger taps at 10:30 | ***


CM Punk vs. The Undertaker
No Body Glove? Bummer. Punk checking Paul's watch is just as brilliant as his no-sell of Taker's entrance. Right off the bat the match is different, with CM Punk being so defiant. I love that 'Taker couldn't do the Old School, only to have Punk execute it, absolutely brilliant, as we've honestly never seen that. So far, this match is such a fresh breath of air after the ones we've seen since WM25. It's crisp as all get out. Heyman deserves a ton of credit as well. Punk goes for a cover, get's two, to which Heyman screams "A second away, you were just a second away!" Punk gets a cover of 2 and a half, to which Heyman then yells "Half a second away! You're getting closer and closer!". Finally, Punk tries Old School for a second time, only to get crotched on the ropes and sent to the outside with a punch from 'Taker.  Once he hits the ground, Heyman says "What happened? What happe-...oh no, get up! I know what he's doing! GET UP!" as 'Taker gets ready for the Wrestlemania leap. Heyman of course blocks it, allowing Punk to get his momentum back. Such a great fucking match so far. Hell of an elbow for Punk, as 'Taker laid prone on the announcers table, which did not collapse upon impact. I wonder if a move like that hurts worse when the table doesn't collapse. Soon after, Punk has The Undertaker in the Vice, and just when you think he's out The Undertaker does the zombie sit-up, creating one of the better WM moments. Not long after, he eventually catches Punk with a Tombstone, and I had a mark-out moment when Punk beat the 3 count. I thought the match was over. But thankfully, it keeps going, and that's when I know a match is going to become one of my favorites, because I don't want it to end. Eventually it does, with a GTS reversed into a Tombstone. This match was so fresh and so completely original. After seeing the same thing for 4 WM's in a row, this is exactly what the Streak Match needed. I really can't say enough about this. Seriously, that was hands down the best I've seen from Undertaker at WM. This must be how people felt when they saw Shawn/Taker 1 from WM25.
Punk takes the Tombstone & pin at 22:08 | *****


Brock Lesnar vs. Triple H - No Holds BarredI'll give it to Triple H for withstanding dry-ice burns. He wasn't even selling it during his entrance. Wow, the crowd really is dead for this thing. It sounds like an empty arena match. The promo video didn't really have me that excited for it. I mean, Triple H needed a reason, and Lesnar's attack on Vince was it? The same guy whose head Triple H broke a sledge hammer over? Awesome moment where Brock throws Hunter through a table and then roars. I honestly think if he roared like that in public he'd be arrested for assault. The King tries to cover for the fact this crowd doesn't give a shit by saying "a hush has fallen over the crowd". You, good sir, are a liar. The match so far isn't bad. Lesnar is beating the hell out of Triple H, with the momentum finally changing when Lesnar F5s the homeless guy that Triple H had at ring side. The distraction was enough for Hunter to execute a Pedigree that Lesnar botched. Soon after though,, Brock is back up with the power on his side. Eventually he misses a charge and crashes into the ring-post. From this point, Triple H works the shoulder, and eventually clocks Lesnar with the sledgehammer and finally a Pedigree on the steel chairs. Honestly, not nearly as bad a match as people were saying. If the crowd were alive, and it wasn't Triple H out there, this would have received a lot more praise. I thought it was brutal, with a fine pace and no down time. A better match than the one at SummerSlam. I wanted a fight, and I got one.
Lesnar takes a Pedigree on the steel stairs and eats the pin at 23:57 | ***3/4


John Cena vs. The Rock [C] - WWE ChampionshipThe match has barely started and The Rock needs a rest spot. Wow, soon after both guys are laying down, and the crowd is so dead I literally had to check my TV to see if I'd hit mute by accident. Cole says that John needs to win this match to turn the year of 2013 into Cena's year. Well, let's hope so. John hasn't had a stellar year yet in his career. I mean, he's still yet to defeat a planet or a Norse God. Nice little exchange of reversals, which ends with The Rock applying the Polite Suggestion. However, he doesn't even have it on long enough for anyone to laugh. Great moment where the People's Elbow is turned into the STFU. Honestly at one point they've traded like 30 finishers a piece. They really could have earned themselves a quarter of a star with an awesome finish, but they didn't commit. Cena goes for the People's Elbow, like the previous year, but holds off at the ropes and as The Rock jumps up, Cena grabs him and tries to turn it into the FU, but Rock counters into a Rock Bottom. Instead, Cena just pulls an FU out of nowhere for the pin. We haven't seen the finisher after finisher type of match in quite a while, and if there's a place to do it, it's here. The Rock knew how bad Cena wanted, and tried to use the big-guns as often as possible. Cena was playing the same card, as he'd been down this road before and knew that what he delivered last year wasn't enough. Both knew they had to up the damage. Overall, good stuff, it felt epic, just as it should. It wasn't as great as last year's match, but not nearly as bad as people were making it out to be. 
Cena hits Rock with the FU for the pin at 24:01 | ****


Showcase Showdown: I actually heard someone say that this WM should be placed among ones like 9, 11, and 4. That's an extreme load of bullshit. Most people were DYING to give this show low marks, and it would have taken each match to be on the level of MiTB 2011 for them to even think about admitting they were wrong. Although predictable, the matches still delivered, and we even got ourselves a classic with Punk vs. Taker. People need to quit being such cynical babies and drop the whole "I hate this product or service because hating things is cool" act. Hell, seeing The Rock not only lose, but lose the title was worth the price of admission alone. This WM belongs among some of the all-time best, and I think in a few years people will start to give it the appreciation it deserves. It made Thriller, man. Thriller.



Much appreciation to my editor, Steven Ferrari. He and I met one night at a club I often attended. At the time I was the biggest producer & director of adult films, and he was nothing more than a bus boy. Soon he became the number one star, of course, until that damn Thomas Jane had to show up.

Str8 Gangster, No Chaser - I've started a new article series known as Man Etiquette, so you'll know how to act in certain situations, I pay tribute to the burliest of the burly from the 8-bit era, talk about people who shouldn't use the internet [all of them], Saved By The Bell Archives, Comic Book Films You Didn't Know Were Comic Book Films, plenty of other goods.
WCW In 2000 - Recently updated with the infamous Bash at the Beach 2000. You know what's shocking? The PPV is GOOD. No joke, it's seriously good, and features the best match of WCW's 2000 year so far.
Man Movie Encyclopedia Vol.1 - My book about action films. Endorsed by Scott Keith & Maddox, as well as some fellow BOD'ers. Constant 5 star reviews on amazon. I mean, CONSTANT. Non-stop. Around the clock, baby.
Board for the BoD'ers - We average about 50 people a day stopping by, a constant cast of people posting, and you can talk about anything you want. 


Any requests, questions, comments, send'em to CaliberW@hotmail.com

- Caliber Winfield

Comments

  1. I think you massively overrated the last two matches, but I agree Taker/Punk hasn't been getting the props it deserves (on BoD anyway). What a match and the only match I enjoyed at Mania.

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  2. I wouldn't go that high for Punk/Taker but it was an amazing match nonetheless. It was so far above my expectations that I almost felt stupid for doubting them. Once again Undertaker proves that for one night every year he's the Best Wrestler in the World.


    Brock/Trips wasn't downright bad...but it was just pretty boring to me and the lack of heat hurt it. I'd say it's below ***


    I was one of the people who really liked their first match and thought it was great but I wasn't impressed by this one. It was more entertaining than Brock/Trips but I wouldn't call it good either. Definitely disappointing considering how much I enjoyed their first match.


    The match I was most impressed with on second viewing was Jericho vs. Fandango. Fandango takes a great ass whipping and Jericho supplied a fired ass whipping here. Plus the crowd was crazy into Jericho.


    Disappointing show but with a match as good as Punk/Taker I can't in good conscience put it down with 9,11,or 15. 11 and 15 had title matches near **** but that was it. Punk/Taker automatically lifts this show out of the doldrums of 9,11, and 15. Plus two big name matches that didn't deliver greatness but delivered names.

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  3. By popular... you mean Jobber... meh, take what you can get.



    I honestly believe you are not a real wrestling fan... meaning hard-core.


    I honestly think you are a casual fan with an internet connection.


    Your passion for wrestling is there... but its... manufactured in a way. It doesnt seem genuine... that may not be the correct verbiage.


    Im not saying to name the first 12 IC champs, but your enjoyment of wrestling and my enjoyment of wrestling differ... and thats fine.


    But when you read a review of Tommy Halls (as terrible as they are, no disrespect) you can read his passion to know the ins and out of psychology, atmosphere, and other intangibles that i really can not put a word to. Whenever I get the gall to read his stuff, I know Im reading a hard core fans review of wrestling as opposed to reading yours where it just feels like... "i watch it cuz it was cool to do 15 years ago... and now i watch it cuz its not cool and i wanna be a hipster... and maybe just maybe since Keith is psuedo famous... I CAN BE PSUEDO FAMOUS."


    Im not trying to shit on you, I just dont feel the validity of your fandom when i read your shit.


    You still like big booty bitches and you will always get a pass though.

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  4. Caliber what have you been smoking? I want some, nothing in the world could make me enjoy this show.

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  5. I think the order of the matches was not good. It was the same mistake which they did with Wrestlemania 19: First rushing the undercard and then all long matches in a row. There was not place where the audience could rest after the Taker match.

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  6. Fuji, you're basically saying you don't get my fandom because I don't complain. Go check out my WCW site, I complain to the high heavens and you can feel my anger at what Russo has done to a sport I'm extremely passionate about. Go check out my review for AWL Night of Legends if you want to see me hate something.

    Trust me, my friend, I'm very passionate, which is why I tend to enoy it more than most.

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  7. Pat Patterson

    Pedro Morales

    Don Muraco

    Pedro Morales

    Greg Valentine

    Tito Santana

    Macho Man

    Ricky Steamboat

    Honky Tonk Man



    Ultimate Warrior


    Mr. Perfect


    Texas Tornado

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  8. "Most people were DYING to give this show low marks, and it would have taken each match to be on the level of MiTB 2011 for them to even think about admitting they were wrong."
    What kind of comment is this? The reason people werent too keen on this show was that there were no compelling storylines, they rushed the undercard, and everything was predictable. I mean you said those things yourself. The main storyline was Cena, the guy who never sells a loss, was supposedly suffering because he lost to the Rock last year. No one is going to get excited about that. Sure, Punk vs Taker was great but that storyline was also the drizzling shits. They seemigly had no direction for that feud until Paul Bearer died. No one cared about the Del Rio/Swagger stroyline to begin with and the most compelling one, HHH vs. Lesnar, featured just an anverage match.

    "People need to quit being such cynical babies and drop the whole "I hate this product or service because hating things is cool" act. Hell, seeing The Rock not only lose, but lose the title was worth the price of admission alone."
    Im pretty sure most people who are dissatified with the WWE are so because of a stale proudct rather than the fact that it is cool to hate wrestling. The wrestling fanbase is dwindling and pat of that is due to the WWE. Showing displeasure in something while making valid points is not cynical. Everyone knew the Rock was losing so how is this worth the price of admission alone?
    "This WM belongs among some of the all-time best, and I think in a few years people will start to give it the appreciation it deserves. It made Thriller, man. Thriller."
    i agree with you that this is not close to one of the all-time worse WM's but it is certainly mowhere close to one of the all-time bests.

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  9. Like when i read your movie stuff. (guilty I read alot more of your stuff than i let on) I feel the passion in your writing. you know about what your talking about when it comes to Man movies and such.


    I just dont feel it when it comes to your wrestling reviews.


    Im not gonna shit on your star ratings, thats subjective and a dead horse.


    AWL Night of Legends is a universally panned show. I wouldnt want you to come off as Mr Positivity for that piece of shit.


    WM however was a bad show. From the time condensed undercard matches... to the non stop self fellating of the WWE to the piss poor outcomes (sans Punk/Taker).


    If you liked that show... idk what to say. I just cant pull one thing out that I liked. I would like to like Punk/Taker more than i do, but it felt like a demotion for Punk after all the work he has done in the past 2 years pretty much carrying the promotion on his back... to be fed to Undertaker for his yearly check. Still a good match though.


    I can agree to disagree but the love you are giving WM 29 is just... im not feeling it.

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  10. I ended up not doing a Mania thoughts column because I didn't really have any. The show was dull and the matches were foregone conclusions, and I was drunk enough to not be paying shit for attention by the end. All I have to say is that I will eat crow on thinking Taker couldn't pull that perofrmance off. Both men did a great job covering for what he couldn't do. Now that he's healthy enough to do a match like that though, Taker owes Punk his win back at Summerslam.

    My point though is, despite not enjoying this show, Caliber is right that people were bound and determined to be disappointed no matter what before the show even started.

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  11. You gave HHH v. Brock ***3/4? Are you fucking retarded?

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  12. Ryan Murphy... DRUNK?


    perish the thought.

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  13. I see what you're saying. I do agree, I'm far more passionate about movies than pro-wrestling.

    I guess when it comes to the current stuff I'm not as, much like Scott and a good portion of the other fans. I suppose if I were talking about something older, something I grew up with when I lived & breathed wrestling things would be different.

    The funny thing? I actually get a good chunk of emails from people who say they actually agree with my ratings and such, but won't admit it outloud for fear of getting flamed.

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  14. Well, pot is legal here in Washington, so I created one of those tents they use to bug-bomb a house with, but shrunk it down to fit one person, and just clam baked myself until the notion of Triple H winning the match was justified and awesome. No, not really, no drugs could do that.

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  15. No comment necessary.

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  16. Yeah, I know the story-lines weren't that compelling, but people had absolutely no intention of giving it a chance. Sure, the out-comes were pretty well known, and that sucked, but I thought perhaps they may go another way with some of them. Plus, I knew Punk vs Taker would be great, and Rock vs Cena was good last year. Now, Brock vs HHH wasn't that great at SummerSlam, but I thought they may up their game for WM.

    And I understand people being bored with the stale product. It's why I don't watch Raw or Smackdown, and just read the results. I watch iMPACT because it's fresh & entertaining. However, when it comes to PPVs and the hopes of a great match or show, I'm always a glass half full kinda guy.

    When I said it belongs with some of the all time greatest, I definitely meant at the bottom end of the scale, but worth a mention.

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  17. I can name every WWE champion from Buddy Rogers until Stone Cold [because it got so hectic after that], in order, and where it happened. But then again, I'm sure most people here could too.

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  18. How can someone justify Rock/Cena as 4 stars or Taker/Punk at 5?

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  19. YankeesHoganTripleHFanApril 19, 2013 at 9:01 AM

    "The homeless guy that Triple H had at Ringside" Ha. I agree HBK did look crack addict skinny although I suppose that's better then fat and hunched over like so many other pro wrestlers.

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  20. Hey, you loved the show. Good for you. I really wish I could say the same.

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  21. Like the writing just hate the ratings given.

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  22. Do people HAVE to be glass half full like you though? I haven't had high expectations for the last three Wrestlemanias. 28 proved me wrong but I feel I was correct in my assumptions for the other two.

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  23. You say that, but really wrestling is 10x more awesome when watching baked

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  24. I don't mind suspect star ratings as long as there's a reason given. Caliber's reasons appeared to be "you all hated it and that's wrong." I mean, he gave Brock-HHH 3+ stars because there was "no down time." HUH?

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  25. The Undertaker & Punk gets 5 stars from me because there was never a down moment. It was constantly exciting. Also, after 4 years of "Stay down! Why are you doing this?!" this match came with so much originality that I didn't realize how thirsty I was for it. CM Punk performing Old School, Heyman saying "I know what he's doing! Look out!", the Anaconda Vice/Zombie Sit Up, the whole GTS/Tombstone reversal spot where you thought Punk was finished. I could go on and on. I was insanely entertained.


    As for Rock/Cena, I really got into the ending. The end was sort of like The Death of Superman where the final issue has no panels, and instead each page is a full illustration. That's how I felt with this. Last year The Rock won on a fluke, so to speak, and he knew how bad John wanted it. On the flip side, John knew how tough The Rock really was. So, both of them had to unleash everything they had on each other to the fullest possible extent. I also loved how they played on last year's finish, I thought that was really smart.



    When I said this belongs in talks with some of the best, I was talking at the bottom end of the scale. Like, around 10, or 22.



    Also, yeah, lately with the WM shows I've been reviewing I've been showing a lot of love. That's because I wanted to review the ones I loved best.

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  26. I'm more than cool with that. Appreciate the feedback.

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  27. #674: KIMURA!

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  28. You know, I'm working on an article about online dating. It's called "I Love To Laugh". Why? Because of all the boring, idiotic, obnoxious profiles that I had to sift through, the most common phrase was "I love to laugh". Which is just about the stupidest thing someone can say. Really? Who doesn't love to laugh? Who laughs and thinks "This is terrible! I'd much rather be eating a brick".

    So, imagine my complete shock when I found your internet dating profile and you said "I love to laugh".

    Also, I take it you meant to call me retarded as some form of derogatory statement, correct? I've met quite a few, as you put it with all of your tact, "retarded" people. They were the most genuine, honest, and good natured people that I've ever met. So to be placed among them in any form is quite a compliment, I believe.

    I'd much rather people look at me as someone like them, than as someone like you. You twat.

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  29. Oh hell that's easy to name. It's naming the 2000 different champs between 2007 and now that'd be REALLY impressive.

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  30. No, they don't have to. People don't have to do anything. I'm not saying I looked at the card of WM29 as a whole and was excited, but I more than expected three of the 4 main events to deliver. Same with 28. Now, 27? God no.

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  31. Definitely enjoyed the review once again. Ultimately I was disappointed by this show because it really only had one good match. I thought ut vs punk was a solid 4.5 stars and takers 3rd best mania match (which is really saying something BTW)

    Brock vs hhh was fine but a tad on the boring side. I thought it was about as good as the summerslam match. Hhh going over killed the crowd for rock and cena annoyed lots of people who bought the show. Hhh is the wrong guy to be putting in the 2nd biggest feud of the year. He can't go in the ring or draw, and won't put anyone over. I'm just going to stream any ppvs he's on because I know he's just gonna fuck up the show for me.

    Rock cena was weird because hhh killed the crowd and first half of the match wasn'tthat good but the 2nd half really picked up and got awesome. I'd call it a solid 3 to 3.25 star match

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  32. I use to love smoking weed, and haven't in years and years. The only thing wrestling related I watched stoned was Hogan vs Warrior from WM6, and man, it was awesome. Now that's it legal, I should get back into it.

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  33. I am good from the Wrestlemania era (slightly before) until I'm about to find out

    Bob Backlund
    Iron Shiek
    Hulk Hogan
    (Andre/Dibiase)- if this counts as a reign
    Savage
    Hogan
    Warrior
    Slaughter
    Hogan
    Undertaker
    Hogan
    Ric Flair
    Savage
    Flair
    Bret Hart
    Yokozuna
    Hogan
    Yokozuna
    Bret Hart
    Backlund
    Diesel
    Bret Hart
    Shawn Michaels
    Sid
    Michaels
    Bret Hart
    Sid
    Undertaker
    Bret
    Shawn Michales
    Austin
    Kane
    Austin
    Kane/Undertaker (Vacant)
    The Rock
    Mankind
    The Rock
    Mankind
    The Rock
    Austin (now i'm at WM 15 and its going to get a little hazy)
    Undertaker
    Austin
    Mankind
    HHH
    Big Show

    HHH

    The Rock

    HHH

    The Rock

    Kurt Angle

    The Rock

    Steve Austin

    Kurt Angle

    Chris Jericho

    HHH

    Hulk Hogan

    Undertaker

    The Rock

    Brock Lesnar

    Kurt Angle

    Brock Lesnar (WM 19)

    How'd I do? My head hurts now

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  34. You're defending yourself for being positive, well if that isn't a [b]perfect[/b] representation of this place I don't know what is!

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  35. The end of WM 17 is one of my favorite finishes to a match ever. It wasn't overkill, it was establishing just how low Austin was willing to sink and how hard the Rock was to put away.



    But to each his own, I guess.

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  36. "Fuji, you're basically saying you don't get my fandom because I don't complain."


    That would be exactly what he's saying yes. lol

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  37. I've been blazing daily since my teens, with sporadic week-long breaks if I have something important coming up or begin feeling lethargic. I just need it in my life tbh and I watch pretty much every PPV or Raw baked. Best match I ever saw high was HHH/Taker HIAC. That was a story told right there.

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  38. there's no way to know for sure but this seems pretty good

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  39. All this over the rating of a professional wrestling match

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  40. One thing that Wrestlemania (and the build up and the Raw after) I think proved is this: face Y2J rules. I mean, the Fandango build-up and match were so much better and heated than they had any right to be. It's been stated before, but Jericho-Fandango had infinitely more heat and excitement than HHH-Lesnar.


    So what I'm saying is, I'd actually love to see face Jericho get a legitimate run on top, even for a few months, with the title. I know that goes against my usual refrain of "sacrifice the part-timers to the new guys", but I think it'd work because:
    - Obviously, Jericho is perenially over, especially in the Y2J persona.

    - Unlike Rock/HHH etc, Jericho can still really go in the ring. Guaranteed high quality PPV mains.
    - Also unlike Rock's recent run, Jericho seems more comfortable at engaging wrestling crowds. To say he doesn't feel as corporately produced as Rock.
    - Jericho has NEVER (and I mean neeeeeeehhh-veeeer) had a face run at the top, so it'd actually feel fresh. I bet face Jericho as champ would pop some nice ratings and buyrates for a few months.

    - When the time comes, he'd be able to put a younger guy over BIGTIME. Unlike Rock/HHH/Taker etc, Jericho has no qualms about putting over the young guys. Hell, let Jericho hold the WWE or WHC title for a few months and then have him drop the title to rising star of choice, and the guy would be made.


    So yeah, just a thought. Obviously there's no way this would happen as WWE has never seen Jericho at that level, but I wonder if anyone else here thinks that might be a cool idea.

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  41. You take things so personally, it's hilarious. I appreciate you checking out my online dating profile, but I don't do long distance and don't date guys, so sorry. Tell your (female) friends though.


    I'd look forward to reading your article, but I'm sure other websites have done similar articles, but are a lot better. Like everything else you write.

    I was there for Brock v. HHH. It sucked. It's ridiculous. Noted shootfighter Triple H locks Brock Lesnar in an armlock forever, which no one buys, because the conceot of HHH submitting Brock Lesnar with his own move is too stupid for words.

    Then we get Brock lifting HHH up slowly and slamming him down a few times only for HHH to go back to his unbelievable armlock.

    All of this to 0 heat. I don't see how this makes a match ***3/4 match. Also-

    >If the crowd were alive

    If the match wasn't boring as shit where everyone knew HHH was going over, the crowd would've been alive. You can blame the lack of buffer between Taker and Punk and that surely played a role, but the match sucking with no one buying the stip didn't help.

    >and it wasn't Triple H out there,

    Yawn. This has nothing to do with HHH hate. I mean, if anyone else wrestled the same match with Brock with the same dead crowd and the same stupid stips, people would still be shitting on it.

    The big picture is that they brought in Brock Lesnar, gave him whatever he wanted, and decided to program with HHH which accomplishes nothing. People shit on this for a reason. I actually liked the Summerslam match, but this was not good. It was embarrassing really.

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  42. I think that you're a little generous. I'd knock a full star off of each of the 3 mains but you're definitely in the same WWE Universe as I am.

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  43. Also, the no downtime thing....the second half of the match is HHH's kimura as everyone sits on their hands. Downtime.

    >I think they really should have done the Kiss of Death deal again, it would have made this match a hell of a lot more memorable.

    No, no, no. If anything they should've cut a few minutes from HHH v. Brock and given more time to this, because it was a lot fun, and could've been more. The callback was a nice wink, and work. You do it a second time, especially to someone as beloved as Ziggler, and the crowd would just shit on it. Look at how they shit on him not cashing in at Mania.

    >Hell, seeing The Rock not only lose, but lose the title was worth the price of admission alone



    Really?

    ReplyDelete
  44. I agree with this. In fact, given the shitty, non-build up they had for Rock/Cena they should have just had Jericho win the belt from Punk at Rumble and did Jericho/Cena at WM.


    If WWE believes their own bullshit that the most casual of fans will buy the show just because, then they should have just saved their Rock money for a rainy day.

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  45. The Punk/Undertaker storyline had no direction prior to Paul's death? That's probably because the main event of the March 4th Raw was to determine who faced Taker at WM, and Paul died on.....March 5th. We have no idea what the storyline otherwise would have been.

    Anyway. Like usual I think Caliber was a bit too generous in his star ratings but I agree with him that it was a good show. Nothing was outwardly awful, Punk/Taker was great and HHH/Brock and Cena/Rock, while rematches I didn't care to see, delivered.

    I've gotten on Caliber for wacky star ratings in the past, too, and it's stupid. I think he's gotten way better at explaining why he feels certain ways about certain things. As far as his glass-half full attitude and generous ratings, he's starting to prove your writing can lean toward the fanboy-ish and still be well-written and worth reading. (I'm aware that sounds like a backhanded compliment but I don't mean it as such.)

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  46. I cant at all agree with you, but I respect that you can back up your reasoning.

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  47. Agree to disagree. The play on last year's finish was the lone bright spot in that entire match. The first 15 minutes were so disjointed that you would think they had never wrestled before.

    Plus, I believe "counter finish/big spot/counter finish/big spot/counter finish/counter finish/the end" is as used up as "distracted roll-up." The worst part was that Rock/Cena countering each other just came out of nowhere.

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  48. Random side note: was there a single backstage segment, that wasent an interview in this show? The necessity to rape my screen with 50 make-a-wish commercials and have no story building segments boggles my mind

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  49. I'm on board with this. I think the ecstatic crowd reactions Jericho has been getting since his Rumble return have simply been because the fans are overjoyed that they can FINALLY unabashedly cheer for Jericho since he's firmly a face again. Jericho has been a heel since spring 2008 when he turned on Michaels.


    The only downside is, of course, that Jericho is apparently leaving again within the next few weeks. I'd love to see him snag a MITB briefcase in July since then, if he's absent again, he at least exists within storylines as a looming threat to whomever the champ is.

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  50. I hate the "if you liked this you're an idiot" argument. (And I say this as someone who's done it a lot)

    I felt the exact same way leading up to WM. Was unenthused about the storylines, wasn't excited about the rematches. Wasn't even gonna order it until a few friends hit me up the day of and split it with me. I ended up liking it. Probably a middle of the pack WM, but still enjoyed it.

    I agree about the outcomes, but I care more about how they get there than how it actually ends or who goes over unless it's clear the wrong guy went over. I thought the finishing sequences for all three big matches were really good, and while I wouldn't have minded different outcomes I have no problem with them.

    If that means you can't help me, I'll try to find a way to live with that.

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  51. Jericho's comp as a babyface is John Cena. They're the same exact characters. Go watch their promos, especially during this latest comeback, they're exactly the same.


    His heel work has always blown away his face work. Babyface Jericho=one of the most overrated wrestlers of all time.

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  52. I think it's pretty close as one of the worst. I put it above only 1, 2, 4, 11 and 27.

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  53. Eh, agree to disagree there. I mean, I can see your reasoning in that face Jericho shares some of the vague qualities of a typical WWE babyface (smiley, lots of jokes, acts like a bit of a dick), but I think he just delivers it all wayyyy better than Cena ever could. I'd argue that face Jericho is naturally funnier than Cena; unlike Cena he doesn't fall back on the smarmy shit-eating grin; and he doesn't play up the self-righteous superhero persona while conversely acting like a huge dick. Plus in the ring Jericho wrestles from underneath and builds up sympathy, rather than doing the John Cena superman routine.


    That said, opinions vary, and so I can understand if you don't find Face Jericho funny or cool or interesting or whatever. Put personal opinion aside, one thing that is definitely true is that face Jericho is unanimously over with the crowd. Compare Jericho's reactions to Cena's this year and it's not even close. Jericho isn't getting 60% boos and boring chants. So on that account, I think it'd be fun to actually get a few months watching WWE have a babyface champ who, I dunno, the crowd unanimously was behind. I mean other than Punk from Nov '11 to the heel turn, how often has WWE even had that? As a viewer I think it'd be fun to see wrestling crowds actually root for the lead face for a bit.

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  54. Dude, I think giving one of the part-timers the MITB could be a great use of the gimmick and their time. Jericho winning the briefcase and then going away (as crowds await his cashin and the inevitable monster pop) would be fun.



    Also, I always thought that the briefcase would be a great gimmick to make Brock relevant when he's not there. You'd have this constant sense of danger looming over the shows, especially if they play up that Brock might cash in, take the title, and never return with it.

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  55. That's because Jericho doesn't hang around. He takes a ton of breaks and it tricks the crowd into thinking he is fresh. I guarantee you if Cena did the same, his reactions would be different.

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  56. Those are some seriously nutty ratings for the later matches, but more power to you for enjoying the show.

    I certainly didn't go into the show planning to hate it but decided to check it out at the last minute and was pretty unmoved by it. Punk/UT was the lone bright spot that was any real fun and excitement for me, everything else on top was pretty run of the mill, cookie cutter stuff.

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  57. Agree that Jericho's breaks help keep him fresh and novel with the crowds, but I disagree that he wouldn't be able to maintain his popularity if he stuck around for a full year or so. Sure to some degree he'd have to become "just another guy", but Jericho had long face runs before and stayed over. Crowds just like the guy, and he's a pro at keeping it that way.


    Anyway, my (worthless never gonna happen) proposal wasn't to build the company around Jericho long term, just to do a sort of "one last run" babyface-title reign for a few months, before putting someone else over. I definitely think fans would buy into his chase and reign. Sort of like The Rock run, but I'd argue it'd work better because Jericho would wrestle a ton more, and be more believable as someone who cares about what he's doing. (As opposed to Rock, who never seemed to be able to get over his desire to win/hold the title.)


    As for Cena eventually becoming a part-timer, I wonder if when that time comes the audience finally warms up to him. One would think so, as absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that. But then I could also see him coming back after a year-long hiatus, getting the big return pop, and then half the crowd turning on him and chanting boring the second he launches his first poopy joke.

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  58. You forgot the Vince reign and Trips getting it back, and you forgot Austin winning it back from Angle.

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  59. Cakewalk!


    From the Cena injury, the WWE Title goes


    Orton
    Trips
    Orton
    Trips
    Edge
    Hardy
    Edge
    Trips
    Orton
    Batista
    VACANT
    Orton
    Cena
    Orton
    Cena
    Sheamus
    Cena
    Batista
    Cena
    Sheamus
    Orton
    Miz
    Cena
    Punk
    (Rey)
    (Cena)
    (Punk)
    ADR
    Cena
    ADR
    Punk
    Rock
    Cena

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  60. Next thing you're going to tell me is that he doesn't like James Mitchell.

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  61. 1000x agree with both ideas

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  62. "Memes are not funny. EVER."


    I didn't know that Memes translated to Caliber Winfield.


    Learn something new everyday.

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  63. I am one drunk Mitchell hatin' SOB. And realistically its not like Jim personally did anything intentionally to fuck with me, it was just cause and effect shit. But him and his buddy Dennis can rot in fucking hell.

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  64. The problem I have with the chairshots is that it didn't give Austin's turn a defining moment. One massive chairshot would have been a more dramatic than the 20 or so ones to a prone rock.

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  65. it was so nice of him to dress up for Wrestlemania, too.

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  66. I see what you did there.

    Now see that, that's actually funny.

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  67. Michaels is an ectomorph.

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  68. This review has proved with the HHH/Brock rating that opinions can in fact be wrong.

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  69. This show was boring and predictable. Easiest review ever,

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  70. I like Caliber but I just disagreed with his summary of the show along with his ratings of the last two matches.

    As far as the Punk/Taker storyline, the fact that they had a 4-way to determine who would face a guy with a Wrestlemania streak when all of te contestants themselves had not had any recent winning streaks is a shit idea and tells me they had no idea how to develop a feud between the two.

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  71. The togas put 9 above this.

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  72. I thought the Team Hell No/Dolphy match was actually pretty good but I might have thought anything was good after the boredom that followed before it.



    As for Taker/Punk, it was kind of disjointed but it was still pretty good and did a good job using suspense near the end of the match. When Taker hit Punk the first time with the Tombstone I thought he was done and I thought they did a good job with the false finishes even though everyone knew Taker was going to win, but still you knew he was going to win every other Wrestlemania match, and people still got into those.


    Rock/Cena was SO BAD, though I did have a mild interest in the finishing sequence just because I wasn't sure who was going over. Everyone was saying Cena but there's rumors that Rock/Brock is happening at next years Mania so there was a chance that Rock could've kept the title.

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  73. " I wonder if a move like that hurts worse when the table doesn't
    collapse."


    I've heard it does.

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  74. Nah, I don't think so. Cena's schtick has gotten so tiresome that the ill-will isn't reversible.

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  75. You know one more thing I want to add is I don't believe people were being negative about the show just to be negative. I was looking forward to the show really badly and was really looking forward to Trips/Lesnar and Punk/Taker but after seventy video packages about John Cena and The Rock, some lame assed live singing shit, and a couple boring matches with a dead crowd I just couldn't enjoy the show as a whole. Your review makes the show sound decent but at the same time you didn't mention all the video packages and the fact that this show was four fucking hours; and we only got eight matches. Lesnar/Trips was okay but was kind of dull and I, along with most people, hated the Rock/Cena match. I mean its very reasonable to see why people wouldn't like this show.

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  76. "Nothing was outwardly awful [...]"

    the most awful thing about WrestleMania 29 is its boring mediocrity (just like so much of the current "product").

    ReplyDelete
  77. disagree about Cena/Rock but totally agree on Punk/Taker.

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  78. There are similarities between face Jericho and Cena. Insult opponents, general smartass, grins. The difference is that wasn't the only speed Jericho had as a face. He could get serious(Triple H feud, Benoit feud) he legitimately made the crowd laugh, he sold loses, and he had better foils. Face Jericho in 2000 was badass. Face Jericho in 2008 was meh. He doesn't get stale because he changes up his act so well.

    ReplyDelete
  79. ">and it wasn't Triple H out there,

    Yawn. This has nothing to do with HHH hate."
    ...

    "The big picture is that they brought in Brock Lesnar, gave him whatever he wanted, and decided to program with HHH which accomplishes nothing. People shit on this for a reason."

    ReplyDelete
  80. "The promo video
    didn't really have me that excited for it."
    "Again,
    the video package for the Swagger/Alberto feud has it looking rather
    well done."
    "The video for Cena vs Rock is rather good, and does a far better job of promoting the match than the TV leading up to it."

    I only mentioned them 3 times. I suppose a 4th might have done it.

    And I don't mind if people didn't like it. I'm not one of the people who have problems with people liking or disliking something.

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  81. I think smarks tend to overrate the fans' affinity for Jericho. I've watched the guys whole career. He was crazy over and beloved in 2000-01, but I've seen too many times where he gets apathetic reactions, unlike guys like HBK, Austin and Rock (until very recently).
    In 2005 when he stopped giving a shit is a good example of this. Ditto his return in late 2007. Hell, listen to his actual return promo against Orton (the marathon runner bit), it's pretty muted. I expected the roof to blow off the place for a guy who had been gone for over 2 years (and had been built up with video packages).
    Remember the match last year when Ziggler "retired" him (I think it was for his WWE contract)? Listen to the crowd's reaction that Chris Jericho is leaving. They tried to milk it , and create a "moment" (like they did the night before with HHH at Summerslam) and it fell flat.
    I'm not saying he's not a popular star, I just don't think he has the kind of relationship with the fans that justifies your scenario. They tend to get tired of him (especially as a face) relatively quickly.
    Though to be fair, I have been pleasantly surprised with his reactions during this Fandango feud. I just don't think it will last.

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  82. No, there wasn't. Which I found very odd. No America The Beautiful, and not one backstage vignette or guest appearance from wrestling's past. It's like the show was written & directed by a crew that had never done a WM before.

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  83. the boredom that followed before it? *head explodes*

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  84. http://sppiblog.org/wp-content/uploads/2012/08/borg2.jpg

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  85. I couldn't stand how they were rabbiting on about how 2012 was cena's darkest year and that he needed redemption, he won the freaking superstar of the year award!

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  86. You're out of your mind that Punk/'Taker was five stars. It was fine for what it was, but three and a half, four stars at best. We'd seen the script before, down to kicking out of one Tombstone only to fall to the second Tombstone. It could have been booked that 'Taker had to Tombstone Punk like, three straight times, then let Punk take his time off.

    ReplyDelete
  87. Shit is going DOWN in Boston.

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  88. Caliber acts like everyone hated this simply because it involves HHH and if it didn't involve HHH, people would've liked it. No, you program anyone in there in a feud no one wanted to see, and a rematch no one really wanted to see, with a stipulation no one bought and it's going to get shit on. The whole thing was awful.

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  89. If you don't care if people like something, why slam people for going in with a negative attitude.

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  90. It was average, which is still condemning for a WM (although it did pick up starting with Punk/Taker), but it was still leagues above stuff like 9, WM2000, and 27.

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  91. Indeed, sounds to me like they got the guy, although sounds like he may have died in that boat.

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  92. I've got the local news on, which has been ahead of the national news, and the police scanner on. He's still alive, but injured.

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  93. Yeah I noticed that too, the national news seems about 10 or 15 mins behind.

    ReplyDelete
  94. Makes sense. Presumably the local stations have better developed sources.

    ReplyDelete
  95. I love the Headline on CNN: "Suspect's on a boat in a yard"

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  96. Heard he's coming out on the scanner.

    ReplyDelete
  97. wow what an update! haha. Makes me think of that song

    http://www.myteespot.com/images/Images_d/img_nxPEBh.jpg

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  98. Good, yeah I can hear noise and people shouting on the video feed

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  99. He's in custody.

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  100. Caliber mostly "slams" (does he do that?) people when they call him retarded for grading the matches the way he does. I've said this countless times, I don't usually agree with his ratings, they're too high for my taste, but he absolutely should be able to defend himself when someone insults him about a wrestling match rating. Usually, he does it in a funny or clever way...or at least tries to. ;-) Can't blame him for trying.

    ReplyDelete
  101. Never thought of that before. They'd be able to play McMahon throwing him the chair and the big shot in video packages.

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  102. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R7yfISlGLNU



    Or this one?

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  103. thats not what im saying.

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  104. collect tht brain matter.

    ReplyDelete
  105. Seems like the way to the main event for the noobs is to go after Da Fuj~!

    ReplyDelete
  106. i know right.

    The johnny come latelys have been taking potshots at me for months hoping i'd put em over. Some get put over... others get the dreaded "salt in the eye"

    I understand it. Measuring stick. #1 Draw.

    Cal wouldnt have a third of his posts if I didnt post what i did. I put Cal over all the time.

    but the fact of the matter is... while i disagreed with his viewing experience of the show, i never attacked it, the ratings or his positivity. I attacked the passionless review he wrote. the way i read it was like me writing a review for something i have a casual interest in... MMA.



    I feel like the people who responded took my words and immediately jumped on the "since i disagreed, id hate u and ur review" when it was really "you dont sound like a hardcore fan cuz of your passionless review" Im actually glad he enjoyed the show.


    I did not.

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  107. I'm just glad they got him alive and hopefully they get some good intel out of him, though it wouldn't surprise me if it was just them. Did you see the interview with the bodyshop guy that talked to him a day or two ago? Maybe his brother got him all torqued on something (I'm trying to get "torqued" over as a euphemism for being fucked up on drugs) and somehow conned him into this...


    Also, I noticed CNN kept saying that the police found what they called "a significant amount" of homemade explosives. Isn't ANY amount of homemade explosives a significant amount? We're not talking about coke or anything here, where the amount can be called personal use or sale depending on how much the person is holding. Just seemed silly to me.

    ReplyDelete
  108. I want to say that even though I seriously disagree with two match ratings, your reviews are excellent man. I love how you point to interesting things from each match.

    Though I wouldn't quite give Punk / Taker the full deal, I too thought it was the breath of fresh air. And yes, triple h overkill has gotten in the way of HBK's excellent work with Taker.

    ReplyDelete
  109. Those scanner were fucking awesome. Way better than any media source.

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  110. Seriously. If the news stations were listening to the scanners, we wouldn't have had to listen to them speculating about those "explosions" for 20 minutes. They'd have known they were flash-bangs.

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  111. Wait...


    You internet stalked him?


    o.O

    ReplyDelete
  112. Quite.

    Hogan's turn can be summed up in one leg drop

    Austin's not so much

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  113. Honestly, I don't care if people slam me for liking something. The only reason I took after xyneal or whatever is because of his decision to call me retarded. I thought that was completely low-class and indicative of his personality and level of intelligence. Although it was amusing to see him try and say I take things too personally when he all of a sudden typed up two huge responses. Both of which I haven't read a word of.

    ReplyDelete
  114. Fuj is right though. I'm a passionate fan of wrestling [I wear one of my two Hulkamania bandanas to the gym every time] and never a day goes by I don't watch or talk wrestling. However, I'm just not passionate about the current product.

    It's like when Apollo told Rocky he needed to get that edge, that, Eye of the Tiger. Well, Fuj just said I have it for other things.

    Oh, and you wanna talk Fuji [The first Mr. Fuji] putting someone over. Roddy Piper was on the Adam Carolla show and told a story about Fuj from the old territory days. So, Fuji is the big time heel at a place, the evil Japanese dude, right. Anyway, so Oddjob, the guy from Goldfinger comes around, and apparently he wrestles. Well, Oddjob told the promoter to get rid of Fuji, because he could work better and was more famous. So, Fuj hears this and tells the guy to come over to his place for dinner, bring the family. The guy does, and it's this big feast. Some sort of meat & pasta. Everyone eats a ton. At the end, Fuj says he has dessert. He brings out a silver-platter with a lid to it. He takes the top off to reveal Oddjob's dog's head. Fuj fucking cooked it, and the family ate it.

    Goddamm.

    ReplyDelete
  115. Thanks. I'm glad you dig the style, and I appreciate the kind words.

    ReplyDelete
  116. How did that get a downvote

    ReplyDelete
  117. I found it odd that they had time issues despite having a total of five hours for the day. Maybe if they didn't air all of those completely unnecessary video packages, they would have had plenty of time for the backstage promos and the eight-person tag. And it's supremely stupid to air ads on a $70 PPV anyway, last time I checked you never see a commercial or a charity video in the middle of a PPV airing of "Lincoln" or "Argo".

    ReplyDelete
  118. He's definitely taking advantage of the fact that they don't have a suit-and-tie dress code anymore.

    ReplyDelete
  119. This review was as garbage as Wresltemania was... And I was there live. This writer flat out has no clue what he's talking about.

    ReplyDelete
  120. Yeah, Brock with the briefcase would be great...which means it won't happen.

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  121. It's cool you tend to enjoy shows more, but I couldn't bring myself to walk away from it satisfied, nothing terribly bad on the show but it didn't have that wrestlemania feel, too much self promotion not enough moments. This show would have been helped immensly if they had just switched the lesnar/hhh match with the taker/punk match, fans would have been red hot all the way to rock/cena. Obviously i can't blame the final match in retrospect now we know rock was hurt they obviously planned bigger things for it, but there is no excuse for hhh/lesnar and how much they killed the crowd.

    Guess that's what happens when you center your entire show's build up around one match and rush to make the other matches. Don't do this again next year please Vince.

    ReplyDelete

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